Hunted
by Corinder
Summary: The arrival of two newly created foreign female werewolves in New York, perused by men with only the name 'Masters', alerts the pack to a new threat. One that seems to be hidden, waiting, hunting...  Completed! In Editing :B
1. The Hunted

**New York**

I ran. Breathing fast and uncontrolled, eyes wild with fear, shoving through crowds of people, ran along the side walks, ignoring the bright lights of the city, of the shiny giant TV screens, ignored it all. Crowds of people, tourists, loud Americans, kids bored, tour groups, swore at me, or ducked out of the way, but with about as much interest in me as they might have had in a fly darting past.

Any other time I might have stopped and joined in with the tourists gaping at the famous city, might have found out what was so special about this place for so many to be gathered here, taken photos, posted updates on facebook or twitter about it as I wandered along. Laughed. Made friends. Tried some of the food offered to the cash filled tourists or to the savvy locals that knew how to get a cheaper and better feed than the over hyped hot dog stall offered.

The smell of the food, of coffee, of meals, it filled my senses. Made me so hungry. I was _starving_. Never, never in my life, had I felt so damn hungry. My stomach was twisting in hungry painful jumps.

Panic overrode the hunger though. It had for days. Four days, I assumed, or maybe five. Days and nights seemed to be irrelevant at the moment.

"Hey!" A swear, a hand gesture, as I shoved past a crowd. Heart pounding. I couldn't stand being around the crowds for much longer. Why had I even come onto the crowded streets? Why was I even here? I hated cities.

The crowds pushed against me, shoving me, but I shoved harder. Strong. Too strong. I had to tone it down, some logical voice trying to urge me to quieten, I had to calm down. Walk.

I glanced backwards as I paused. Breathed hard. Heart pounding, fear driving adrenaline through every limb of my body. I was in agony, I suspected, but I couldn't think about that. Any wounds I had, any injuries, the hunger, they didn't matter. What mattered was the hunter. Chasing me.

I didn't see him, the hunter, but I could smell him. He wasn't running, like I was, but he wasn't slow either. The hunt was getting to him. I could hear the oaths, from the same people I'd probably just barrelled into, as his instinct to hunt overrode his good sense.

_Run_, my own pleaded, _run. Why have you stopped? Run!_

I ran.

Whatever human logic had pushed me into a crowd for safety was squashed below something else now, animal instinct, the instinct of a wounded animal trying to escape the predator hunting them. _Run. Hide. Move!_

I ran harder, skidding around a corner, down a quieter street that had less pedestrians and traffic, attracted to the smell and lure of the forest somewhere. I should run to that forest, run into it, and hunt in it. Hunt the hunter. Hide. Fight to the death. Go to the forest.

Some part of my mind seemed to wake up then, snapping into attention, a stubborn human voice that refused to allow the other side of me to take over yet. Forest, it asked, what forest? In a city? In New York? It was that giant garden, not a forest, and not a safe place. _Stay in control_, I urged myself. I was loosing it. Almost giving into the fear.

I had to hide somewhere.

But where? Doors. Closed doors. Cafes. Shops, all closed, not surprising as it was two in the morning. Whatever pedestrians had been on that busy street out there were gone now. Even as I ran, they were fading away, less people on the streets, just the occasional traffic. I was running into an area that was domestic. Apartment buildings.

I stopped again, sliding into the empty entrance of a building, the door locked and refusing me entrance. That was okay. I dug myself into the edge of the doorway. Listened.

The hunter had tracked me for days with the stubbornness of one who knew that he either caught his prey or suffer the punishment. A werewolf, I knew from the scent he'd left as he'd tried to follow us, probably one that was young and trying to prove himself. Hired by my owner. My _Master_. Sent to go and collect the two naughty pets that'd run away. The only punishment fit for failure was death, as far as that man who claimed to own me was concerned, and this werewolf had been tracking us stubbornly from the moment he'd picked up the trail here in New York.

I didn't hear anything now though, nothing that would be him, just the squeak of rats, the distant voices and traffic faint in my sensitive ears, but I wasn't fooled. He wouldn't have lost me. He had gone quiet again. Stalking. No witnesses around, no one to look at him strangely, he was probably tiptoeing... taking his time... aware exactly of where my scent ended and where I was trying to hide.

A car drove past. Slowed at the apartment building, bright headlights on me for a brief second, making my heart suddenly start to hammer again in a crazy panicked beat. I felt like a wounded wild animal, trapped, exposed. Hunted. The car turned nearby, down an alleyway, and it seemed like no one had noticed me. Why would they? I was pressed so hard against the edge of the door that my arm had gone white and numb. My hip ached, my back bled, I could smell the blood, smell it even from here. Must have moved wrong. Opened up one of the wounds back there. It was not a good sign.

He would find me if he could smell the blood.

_Why have you stopped? _That voice urged me, that voice that was fear and instinct only, making my skin prickle. _Run!_

I twitched and moved, unable to resist, sliding across the edge of the apartment building instead of returning to the footpath. There was a small street down the side of it, for deliveries maybe, and another smaller dark doorway. Rain started to fall, very sudden, very cold, it startled me, the rain quick to soak hair and thin clothing. It was winter here in America. Winter, freezing, but there wasn't time or a chance to find clothing better than what I had.

Feet. Not my feet. I froze. Head twisting. The smell of wolf in my nostrils. I felt the prickle increase in my skin.

_No_, I urged myself, calm down. _Stay in control. You only made it this far because you could control this. The rain is a good thing._

I used the rain. Let it soak me, let it wash away my smell, my blood, stepping slowly though the alleyway with my bare feet as soft as I could manage. Ignored the smell of rot from the bins, the squeak of rats, the rubber of tires. I heard voices nearby. Men and the rumble of a car. No, no car, it was suddenly turned off.

I understood, then, gazing down the alleyway. It was also the entrance to an underground parking lot. It must have served as the place for the residents of the building to park. There was a garage door, slowly lowering now, but if I hurried...

I skidded forward, almost slipping in the puddles, somehow managing to slide through it just before it closed.

_What have you done? _Panic, again, so much panic. The wounded animal in me screamed. _We're trapped._

_Human voices again. _No, I made myself stop, scolding myself, making myself rephrase that. _Men. Not humans. I was human. I was staying human. Stay in control, Anne_.

There was the sound of feet outside. My heart stopped, I slid sideways, away from the garage door's windows, trying to calm my breathing.

The hunter was outside. I could smell him, hear his frustrated oath as he followed the trail to the garage door. At two in the morning, he probably wouldn't be as lucky as I was to see a car, at least not for a few hours.

But then, I was trapped, and he was free.

"Miss?" A hu- no, a man's voice.

My head spun around, almost growling, but I somehow managed to hold it in, swallow it down.

Two men, brothers maybe, both looking concerned.

"Did you need some help?" The older one spoke up. The younger one just looked stunned.

I suddenly could see it, from their eyes, a soggy girl, wild eyed, face white with terror. I had to calm down.

"I'm okay."

They didn't seem to believe it. Eyes were going beyond me to outside.

"Is that man bothering you?" The older man asked, his eyes going to the wall, almost exactly where the feet were stepping on wet ground.

I didn't ask how they knew about a man. "No. I'm really okay."

It had about as much affect on them as my first reply. They frowned deeper. Their eyes had gone to the door, the doorway I'd hid in just a minute before, as the sound of the door handle filled the room.

It opened.

"I thought that was supposed to stay locked." The older man muttered. "Miss, relax, we'll handle him. What apartment is yours?"

He hadn't finished his question before I was gone, running, shoving both men out of the way, as the hunter came in. _H__umans_, the animal screamed. Rage. So much terror and rage. The hunter caught sight of me. He ignored the men. I didn't have to look backwards to know that.

I suspected he'd kill them, afterwords, but his job wasn't to clean up after his mess. It was to get me, and Pav, safe and unharmed, and restrained back to our Masters. Only I would rather die than go back, die than be caged again, or to wear that collar. Be his pet. It wasn't me that I was worried about. If Pav was caught, if she was taken back, she might cave. Submit. Be tamed. I couldn't allow it. She was my responsibility now.

I ran. He wasn't far away, I could hear him, smell the wolf in him, a growl on his heavy breathing as I skidded through cars, setting alarms off, jarring both of our sensitive ears with their shrill sounds.

The men would run, maybe, run to call the police. That wasn't the first time it'd happened. Twice already, since we'd arrived in New York, the police had been called and we'd had to run. It had been a great way to get away in the confusion. The hunter wasn't allowed to call much attention to himself, probably, because he'd always vanished when the police turned up. Backed off for the night.

But here, in this underground lot, if I wanted to get out, I'd have to fight. Security would keep us away from the apartments or the stairwell, probably, and I'd have to get past him to get to the door he'd just entered in.

I turned around, skidding, nearly loosing control as I spun fast. The hunter stared at me, skidding as well, dark green eyes boring into mine with the look of a predator startled by a prey turning on him.

He growled, only stunned a second, and lunged. The glint of silver in his hand, a handcuff, or was it a knife? Or a gun?

I skidded sideways, human mind trying to know what he held, animal instincts ignoring it. It was a weapon, it decided, no matter what it was. My back screamed in pain as it was twisted. A hand, clawing onto me, trying to grab hold. My back against a four wheel drive. Protecting the wounds.

I was not going to stay in control much longer.

Run, run away, don't fight! That was the human mind now. The animal mind wanted to fight now, wanted to kill him, wanted to rip him up, shred him.

My teeth, still human, sunk into the hand grasping onto my arm. He yelled, growled, the silver thing lifting up to point at me. It was a gun.

A dark shape knocked him down, coming from across the four wheel drive beside us, a human shape trying to pin him down. Another growl, alien to my memory, another scent. Another werewolf? There was the whoosh of something flying past my torso, my head twisting to follow it, seeing a dart harmlessly ping against the white side of the four wheel drive and onto the concrete.

I looked back, trying to understand, too panicked to put it together with the human logic that I valued so much. Human on hunter. No. Werewolf on werewolf hunter. The two smells were impossible to mistake, even in this state I was in, the growls, grunts, as the two tried to wrestle, tried to overpower each other.

Another shape was there suddenly, pinning the hunter down, a sudden snap, and the hunter went still. Very still.

The men stood up. The men, who had been trying to talk to me before, staring at me warily. Hands up, palms up, submissive gesture. I tensed, soft growl in my throat, backing against the cold metal of the four wheel drive. Hands tensing into claws. Werewolves. Not safe. Fight. Or run. I couldn't tell.

"Shh..." One of them was saying, no words, just a sound that might have been soothing. Maybe it was. I couldn't tell. "I'm not going to harm you. Stay calm."

"What's your name?" The older man asked, glancing sideways at the younger one, staying still.

Odd questions and statements. Different from before.

It seemed to help bring back some sense of my human self though, trying to understand their questions, trying to remember a human name that was feeling more and more removed from the wounded animal I felt I was. The growl, still in my throat, fading.

"I...Anne." It sounded strange. A name that I had connections to but still felt removed from.

"Where are you from? Where's your accent from?"

Smells of wattle. Dirt. Water. Jasmine, growing along the fence beside my driveway, and the sudden bright white of wild cockatoos as I watched them consume every last young apple on the tree. Laughter. Calming memories. Memories from a long time before. I answered, voice raw, strained. "Australia. I'm from Australia."

My breathing was slowing, heart relaxing. They didn't move. Stayed there, hands out, careful, but not threatening. Skin didn't itch now. Control slipping back.

My eyes darted to the still body of the hunter, the dart gun still clasped in his hand.

"Is he dead?"

A nod from one of them.

"Good." I sighed, shuddering with relief, slipping down as my legs gave way. Maybe they were hunters, maybe this was a clever game, but I couldn't run. Couldn't move. My hand slid over the dart, slowly, concealing it. If I guessed right, it'd have enough shit in it to put them both to sleep for a long time. "Are you from my owner?"

They frowned, genuine surprise in their face, glancing at each other. The slightly older man was the one to answer, kneeling down, so that his head was the same level as mine. "Owner? No. I'm Antonio. This is Nick. I don't know what owner you're talking about."

I nodded. Breathed out again, another slow sigh, tension slipping from my muscles. I felt exhausted. If they were hunters, they wouldn't bother lying about that, it was their pride to obey him. My owner. The Alpha. They would trip over each other to state what rank they were. So that I could tell him later.

And if they were hunters, they wouldn't kill that hunter, he was too young. Too low down in the ranks. No one would bother killing him to get ahead- he was about as behind as it could get.

"We should get the body out of here." Nick muttered, eyes still fixed on me, but his attention on the dead hunter.

"I'll have to do it. Fuck. Jeremy will need to know. This wasn't how we planned to do it."

I blinked, staring from the hunter back to the kneeling man. "Planned on doing it?"

"We've been watching him since he came in. Killed a few people in the gardens. We were going to take care of it tonight." Antonio was standing, tugging a phone out of his pocket, glancing up and down the empty parking lot to check that no one was around. His eyes fell back down to me, as if he couldn't quite believe I was there, adding, "He'll want to know about you too."

"What?"

"We'll have to explain somewhere else, Anne, I'm sorry. Nick..."

Nick blinked. Stopped staring. His eyes snapped to Antonio, and then back to me, as if he was snapping out of some deep thought.

"I'll take her upstairs."

"Wait... I can't go with you. I have to go back to Pav. She'll be worried."

"Who's Pav?"

"My friend. He was chasing her too. I was leading him away."

"I'll get her. What's her address?" Antonio was punching away at his phone's screen, eyes focused on it, attention on me.

I was about to protest, about to say that she wouldn't trust them, but I knew it wasn't true. If a couple of strange werewolves showed up, she'd go with them. Captivity had broken her. The only reason she was here, running away, was because I made her run.

"We were hiding between ..." I rattled off street names, shops, unable to figure out the address. We'd moved around the city so often that it was difficult to keep up with official addresses. It made the younger one, Nick, flinch slightly again as his eyes didn't leave mine.

"What does she look like?"

"Indian. Dark hair. Blue-green eyes though, really pale skin, you'll know it's her when you see her eyes. She smells like me too." In other words, she smelt like a wolf, and if I wasn't going mad, if these were werewolves, then they'd easily pick her out when they got there. It was strange, to suddenly trust some strangers, but I was exhausted. Starving. My back was red, infected, the wounds opening over and over, and I hadn't slept since we'd started to run. I wasn't quite ready to be held captive again, exactly, but I couldn't run any more. I was tired.

"She smells like you?"

"You know. Like me."

There was another startled expression, as their eyes met, understanding in both faces. And shock. Why so shocked?

"I'll find your friend. Go upstairs with Nick. He'll call Jeremy _and _Elena." Antonio's eyes were on Nick, who nodded, jaw tightening. Some unspoken communication was passing between them as I watched.

The name Elena echoed through my mind, searching for something to connect with, and I hesitated. I had heard her name, repeated over and over, heard my Master talk about her, heard the other pack members discuss her, even heard arguments over who'd be the one to _own _her. And how to deal with the pack that protected her. "Elena Michaels?"

Both eyes were on me suddenly, surprised, nodding.

"Yes. Have you met her?"

"No... my master wanted to own her. Are you her pack?"

Antonio seemed to remember where we were and stiffened. Glanced around again.

"Yes, we're her pack. But this isn't the place. We have to get moving."

A hand was offered, Antonio's hand, and I accepted it only because I suspected I couldn't stand up. I shuddered, feeling the ground sway, and a hand was clamped onto my shoulder. Then, suddenly, arms were lifting me up off the ground, just as I felt the world go sideways.

"I'm ..."

"Bleeding all over the place." That was the other man, Nick, holding with a kind of stubbornness as I tried to wriggle. "I'll meet you upstairs, Dad."

No answer, just their eyes meeting again.

Nick was moving away then, a quick pace towards the lifts at the edge of the parking lot, shifting me so he could tug an electronic key out of one of the pockets. He looked good. Maybe they'd gone nightclubbing, or something, he could have easily passed as someone who'd come back from one. Ruffled hair. Tired face. Sweaty, but no chemical scents, just the natural smell he seemed to have. The smell of wolf, mixed with human, which gave him away in an instant.

We were waiting for the lift when he asked, without looking down, "Did he do that to your back?"

I was about to answer when I realised he meant the dead hunter. I shook my head. That made the world sway again, dizziness, I felt exhausted. So tired. Hand clenching around something that was pricking me. I lifted my hand, gazing down at what it was, and remembered that I'd picked up the dart. Woops.

"My owner did that. ...I'm going to have to be very rude, it seems, and fall asleep." I muttered. Tried to joke. It just sounded silly. I was too tired to think of a better way to make someone laugh.

Nick didn't answer, except for a sharp inhale of breath as I uttered the word 'master', until we were in a lift, then he glanced down at the small dart in my hand, the trickle of blood out of a tiny scratch.

"What is that?"

"Dart." I was answering, the exhaustion filling mind, body, limbs going heavy, eyes shutting.

Stillness took over.

I dreamed.

Twisting bloody images of the hunter, following, stalking, but his neck broken. Eyes dead. Still following. Gun, with a thousand darts, impossible to miss. The men downstairs, Antonio and Nick, their faces twisting into the faces of the hunter. Pav, caught, bleeding, or meekly walking back with the hunter. Saying she'd worked with him the whole time. My name repeated over and over and over. Not Anne. The name I'd rejected.

It made no sense, none of it, and I writhed, trying to escape, always running, always hurting, so damn hungry.

The smell of food woke me. Good food, pancakes, honey, some kind of meat, and the soft voices. I felt stiff, like all my limbs had stopped flexing properly, but it was the smell of food that overrode anything else.

Then it suddenly became strong. Something shifted under me, the ground giving way, a weight on the bed. Someone was sitting. The smell of food and the sound of a plate set down onto something beside me.

I twitched. Opened my eyes, blinking as light blinded them briefly, trying to get sight back. An unfamiliar room, a bed, and curtains partly open, letting daylight stream in.

"Morning." Antonio said softly eyes coming down to meet mine as I tried to sit, a hand pulling me up. "Want to come eat with us so we don't wake your friend?"

I glanced beside me. In the bed, large enough for three adults, lay Pav. She was asleep, pale face peaceful, hand clutching to the sheets as if she would drown without them, but she was safe. It was the first time I'd seen her sleeping so deeply since we'd escaped.

So I nodded and stood, with some assistance, realising that the reason I couldn't bend or flex like usual was because bandages were across my back, against the wounds, tape holding it securely in place. He picked up the plate and I followed him through a narrow hallway, into a kitchen, where the other man sat with a heap of food and a newspaper. His eyes snapped up to me, like he'd been waiting.

"Just eat it, Nick, she's got plenty." Antonio scolded. Set a plate down, waited for me to sit, and went to pour juice. "We'll talk after she eats "

I was starving. Hesitated. I wanted to wolf it down, consume it all, and then steal more food. My eyes flickering to the other food, then to the oven, where there was a pile of waiting leftovers. Clearly this was the house of werewolves used to the hunger. I eyed the fork and spoon, spotless.

"Just eat it as you need to. Don't worry about manners."

So I ate. Fingers, fork, using both, reassured when I saw Antonio and Nick display the same behaviour with their own food, not at all bothered or self concious about the way they ate. The food was replaced by more food, bacon, ham, sausages, pancakes, and we ate again, the three of us, not saying a word.

I leaned back. My stomach, for the first time in weeks, felt content. It had quietened down and I shuddered, relief flooding through some primal part of me. Food was safety. Energy.

"We treated your back last night and gave you something clean to wear. Hope you don't mind." Antonio said, and I glanced down, only then realising that I was in something different. "Jeremy has instructed us to treat your back three times a day, till you reach the house."

"The house?"

"Home." Nick answered. He glanced up, our eyes meeting, his face frozen. Unreadable. I wasn't sure what was going on with him, this other man, but he seemed to be uncomfortable somehow. "We're taking the two of you home today."

"Yes. We spoke with Jeremy, our Alpha, and told him what happened. What you are. Anne, how did you become a werewolf?"

It was such a sudden question but one that had been floating around since they'd met me, probably. I wanted to ask them the same question.

"I was ...taken. I can't remember how, I think they must have drugged me, and the man, my owner, bit me."

"Not your owner. No one owns you." Nick interrupted, voice low, only to be elbowed by Antonio.

"Well, the man then. I haven't got his name."

"How did you survive though? Not many do." Antonio was sipping his coffee, looking calm, eyes focused on me.

"I know." I remembered that much. Dead bodies. Women. Girls, really, being wheeled down the hall past the cage door. Doctors bent over me as something happened. "He has doctors trying to keep us alive. I saw a lot of them die. Or get sicker." Mind jumped to Pav, again, sleeping in the bed, her face pale. She was sick. She had been sick for days. But at least she was sleeping and that might be more helpful than anything I could do.

"How many were there?" A flicker of something in his eyes. Surprise? Shock? I didn't know.

"I don't know. I was in a cage. Only saw a few around me, but I saw others, and …I can't say. More than twenty if you count the ones that died? I didn't see many people. Just heard them. There were about a dozen doctors. A dozen security guards. So..." A flicker of anxiety. Memories I didn't want to remember. "I don't really know."

"All right. Just one more question..."

"How did I get here? Or where was I?"

A nod, both pair of eyes boring into me. "Either question ,yes."

"I escaped. Grabbed the only girl that could run. We ran." I didn't go into details, didn't tell them what'd happened before I grabbed Pav, how I'd disabled guards, how I'd... guilt, horror, human horror, but the worst part was that the animal part, the part they'd forced into me, thought the deaths were necessary. That it was justified. I swallowed. "He sent a hunter after us. To bring us back. Pets only escape by dying but I wasn't ready to do that yet. I don't know where I ran from. I just ran."

Anxiety, breathing increasing, the urge to flee. It was so vivid that I felt it rising again, felt my eyes dart to the windows, swallowing as I saw how far it was to the city. I felt almost caged.

A hand closed on my shoulder, I jumped, hadn't noticed Antonio or Nick rise.

Nick was standing there, watching me, still watchful. Still quiet. His hand on my shoulder.

"We're going home soon. Driving. The car's already packed. It'll be a bit of a drive but you're used to that, I imagine, from Australia."

I blinked. Memories of laughter, teasing Americans who thought all Australians lived in the outback and lived no where near anywhere. Memories from when I had been the tourist here, on a tour of New York, a student who'd won a trip and couldn't quite believe it.

"I lived an hour from Brisbane. In a rainforest. So no real long drives anywhere." I replied, only half telling the truth, gazing up at him.

He smiled, a small tense smile. "Sounds nice."

"It was. Is. But I missed the seasons in the colder climates."

"Do you live with anyone there? A boyfriend? Husband? ...girlfriend?"

"No. I was studying full time so I only had enough money to rent a room, no boyfriend or anything to share a house with." It seemed distant now. I wondered what they thought when I vanished. The anxiety was fading again, as I talked, and his hand softened slightly. I got what he was doing there, suddenly, getting my mind off the anxiety that was building, and appreciated that. In captivity, the werewolves who sensed fear or anxiety taunted it, provoked it, making it a game. No one had tried to calm one of us down. Nick had though. It was nice of him and I added, "Thanks."

"For what?" His smile widened, just a bit, as if he knew what I was talking about, rough fingertips brushing against the bare neck, before he was off towards one of the other doors.

I spent the next few hours trying to read. No luck. TV was slightly better at being a distraction, though I'd never really cared for it much, I did find the advertisements amusing. Australia was no better than American when it came to the amount of ads on TV, true, but it was a novelty to see a different country's ads. It showed how bad the programming was though if I was most amused by commercials than by the shows themselves. When I was offered a shower I hesitated, but then agreed, after remembering how long it'd been since I showered properly. I probably stank.

Pav was awake when I came out of the shower, in suspiciously new looking female clothing, I wondered if they'd had it already or gone to buy some, her eyes wide with surpassed panic. She calmed down at the sight of me.

"Did they talk to you?"

"Yes, we talked a lot last night." She replied. Stretched. Tried to smile. I examined her, taking notice of her face, the paleness still there. The reason I'd been the one to lead the tracker away, everytime he got close, because of her sickness. She had been for a long time, I suspected. But she ignored me whenever I tried to ask and so I'd given up. As if she knew my trail of thought, she added, "I ate, showered, and went to sleep. They seem okay."

They did seem okay. I was still suspicious, somehow, still on edge. But some part of me was eager to put trust in them, so eager, to believe that there was still some good left in the world. In men. Was that wrong, stupid, idiotic, to hope that we'd found some nice werewolves? Probably. But I could always run again.

"I heard you both talking." Antonio was at the door, a backpack over one shoulder, peering in at us. "I hate to rush it, but Pav, do you think you're up for leaving straight away and eating in the car? We better get moving."

She nodded, standing, silky dark hair somehow avoiding the crazy bed tangles I got. We headed out after him, into the lift.

"Nick's out the front with the car, waiting. No point trying to hide your scent trail, really, they'll have issues following you once you're in the car. Apple." An apple, offered to Pav, and he waited till she had accepted it before continuing. "Your situation is unique so, for the time being, the pack is offering you protection. I'll explain more in the car when we're out of the city."

The lift stopped, a couple joining us, and Antonio nodded at them as he went quiet. We stood there. Tiny box. Jerky, sometimes, like a little cage.

My heart sped up.

Then the doors opened into the lobby and I relaxed. Scolded myself. Silly Anne, I thought, getting jumpy about a lift now.

We followed him outside. There was a car, expensive I had to assume, all shiny with dark tinted windows and paint that still had the shiny reflective look about it. A small trailer was at the end, boxes there, moving boxes with a tarp across them. Nick got out of the driver's seat, allowing Antonio to get in, and Pav was offered the front seat. She was looking sick already, as if walking had been bad enough, so I couldn't blame them for offering her that one. I slid into the back, Nick on the other side already, the car and trailer already pulling away into the city street as the door clicked closed with a soft sound.

I could smell something else in there, the smell of death, glancing backwards. Towards the back of the car, where additional things were stacked, smaller boxes, plastic bags, suitcases. The smell was gone as fast as I'd smelt it, just a quick whiff, so faint that I doubted anyone would notice without the right kind of nose.

"Is he there?" I pictured the dead hunter, eyes wide, neck broken.

"Yes.." Antonio said softly. "The trailer was hired _before _we knew about that, however, with a horde of Christmas presents for a small army, requests for specific things. Suddenly we needed a trailer."

"Christmas?"

"It's only twelve days away. What's that song? Twelve days of Christmas, my true love gave to me..."

Nick snorted, smacking the back of Antonio's head. "Stop that, I've already heard it enough in the shops."

I gazed out the window. I had noticed that New York seemed Christmas obsessed. It hadn't sunk in though, hadn't mattered enough for further investigation, but now it was obvious. No snow though.

"Doesn't it snow for Christmas?"

"Sometimes. If we're good boys and girls." Nick answered. Eyes on me. It was bizarre, every time our eyes met, as if he was waiting for me to say something to him. Now that I thought about it, it'd always been the same tense hesitation, the pause, waiting for some sort of conversation I had no clue I was meant to give.

So I only returned his gaze a moment, before I got distracted by the city once more.

As we would slow, maybe in traffic, or at a light, Antonio would discreetly let his hand drop out the driver door, as did Nick. I didn't notice it at first, except for the overwhelming scents that liked to rush into the window from the city streets. It took me half an hour before I really took notice and understood. They both held a strip of of clothing, different kinds, I could recognise mine and guessed the other was Pav's clothing. Cut down into a tiny long strip of fabric that would slap against the street at an intersection, or against another car, or a light.

Scent marking. They were muddling up our trail. Clever... I wondered why I hadn't thought of that. Probably because I didn't have a car to do it with.

The city passed by and the windows went up as we reached the tunnel itself.

Then out into the outsides. City, still, but less spectacular. Smaller buildings. As we drove, they continued to shrink, till gaps of land started to appear, sometimes just empty lots, and houses started to dot between the small buildings. Nick and Antonio seemed to be repeating the pattern, and I felt dizzy, aware that we weren't exactly driving in a straight line. Or was I confused? Everything looked the same to me. Here it was still very 'American suburb' but it could have been Australian too, from time to time, the houses and footpaths and big tree,s it was sometimes like I hadn't gone anywhere, except perhaps for the Christmas decorations in the obvious winter chill, puddles instead of browning grass, kids racing around in winter gear instead of shorts and swimware.

"Who did that to your back, Anne?" Nick's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, eyes on my shoulder instead of on me.

I didn't want to answer. But I did automatically, using the name that I couldn't quite shake, muttering,"My Maste..."

He growled. It shocked me, made me jump, and I hesitated.

"You don't have one. No one does."

There was a warning from the front. "Nick..."

"It's habit. Saying that word. I didn't say it, he'd do exactly what you saw on my back, he was just waiting for an excuse. I tried to not say it. He'd give me as many as he felt like, wait till it'd half healed, and start again. That was how I found out werewolves heal fast." I bit my lip. Wasn't sure why I was explaining myself, why I had to, but somehow I felt like I had to continue, voice hard, eyes fixed on his, "I don't think of him as my master. No one will ever be and when I kill him, he'll know exactly how little he really had control over me." Anger, soft, stubborn, hidden till now, my eyes hardening as I stared at my knees. I tried to release that anger. It wasn't helpful. "Sorry. Saying that is a bad habit to break, saying that name, it's almost lost all meaning."

"How long were you there for?" Nick's face was tense. He looked at me, same expression of expectation, like he knew the answer, like he was still waiting for me to say something to him. It was strange. He acted like we'd met.

"I don't remember." I almost snapped that, tense suddenly also, but I did have an idea. His question made me think about something I had refused to, had deliberately put aside, a possibility so fucking terrible that I couldn't think about it. It made all kinds of bad feelings rise again. Anger. Not at these people but at the ones responsible.

"When did you leave?"

"Nick..." Another warning from the front. Eyes meeting in the mirror again. I had never really believed the 'father son' story they'd given earlier but now it was obvious which of them was older. His eyes snapped to mine before they were back on the road. "Anne, you don't have to answer that."

Dim memories, of a less tense, less anxious me, one waving her hand dismissively and deciding that she could handle an extra semester to for a free holiday. What choice? There had been no choice! Suitcase packed, let's go, see you in a month! America hadn't been my first choice of ideal places to visit but being a full time student any free month long holiday suddenly was high priority particularly after spending all summer doing additional classes.

"Two weeks before semester one. It was a cruise. I won a cruise trip from here to England, with a tour of New York before departure, then a tour in England. I remember arriving in LA and then...nothing. I don't even know if I made it to New York." Dim memories, drugs, a cell, time fading into a torturous stretch of time, dreams that seemed more real than reality. Impossible dreams. Not reality. It was confusing. "It's nearly Christmas now."

"Yeah." Nick's face seemed to loose some of that earlier expectation and he leaned back, eyes going to his own window. Probably didn't know when Australians started Semester one.

I did. My mind was already counting the months before I could stop it. Ten months.

Another hour of driving went past before Nick swore, as if he'd remembered something, leaning forward to tap his father's shoulder. "Windows up a sec." We slowed and pulled up beside one of the quiet streets.

I glanced outside my side, wondering why, when I felt a hand tickle tickled up my side, and then under my shirt. I jumped, turning to face Nick, face expressionless as he held up a first aid kit. "Jeremy's orders. Turn around. I'll take care of it. You'll need to take your shirt off."

"What!"

"I can't really clean your entire back with it on."

Antonio went to open his side of the car door then. Glanced at Pav, who had fallen asleep, before back to us. "It's okay. He'll behave. I'm going to go get some snacks for us, be back in a sec. Don't leave the car."

Once Antonio was gone, I gave in, not sure why I did. Maybe it was because I didn't want it to get any more infected than it was. Running, should it have to come to that, would be impossible if it got worse. I couldn't treat it myself. Pav couldn't treat it. We didn't know why she was sick so it wasn't safe to let her touch any open wounds. I slid the shirt up, tugging it over my head, and held it against my chest to keep some amount of dignity. Nick's fingers were at the bra clasp, unhooking it,pushing the edges under my arms. I wondered vaguely where he'd gotten a bra from anyway that fit me. Or who'd put it on me.

"Where'd the bandages go?"

"Shower."

"You should have told us." Nick muttered. His shoulders stiffened, jaw tightening, as he slid closer, hands grasping onto my waist, making me squirm. "You've got such a sensitive back, don't you?"

I would have thought that was flirting, almost, but as he said it his voice got tense. Angry.

"Yes."

He inhaled, slowly, face near one of my shoulders, leg against my bottom as he made sure he was close. Nick's hands started to clean the cuts with gentle strokes, a cotton bud with some alcoholic stuff stinging against the raw skin, hesitating every time I inhaled sharply with pain.

"You don't remember me, do you?" A soft voice, so soft that I had to strain to hear it, his voice hesitating even as he said it. Like he'd been resisting the urge to ask.

I blinked. Not expecting a statement like that. "No, I've never..."

"We met here. In New York. In February." Hands continued to work, trying to clean my back without additional pain, hesitating even after it became clear that he wasn't going to avoid causing any.

"I don't remember anything after LA." I had just said that, but suddenly understood, understood the looks he'd been giving me, the stares, the sense I got from him that he was waiting for me to say something. "Are you sure it was me?"

"You smell the same. Well, you've got wolf there now," He inhaled again, slowly, forehead against my shoulder just for a brief moment. "But you're the same. I know it was you."

I might have argued with that once. Now, with the realisation that people did have unique smells, smells that were like faces, like fingerprints almost, I couldn't try and logic that one away.

"Was it here?"

"No, it was in LA. You were on the same plane as I was. We sat next to each other, talked, and then you agreed to meet up with me before you got on your cruise. We got here, I made sure you were safe, showed you around."

"I can't..."

"I know." He pressed too hard, swearing as I jumped, muttering apologies. "Sorry. I'm not like this usually."

There was something, as he said that, a flash of his face. Laughing. Teasing. Giving me some kind of souvenir. Statue of liberty crown thing? We were on a boat. The smell of sea air, of coffee, and I remembered having an aching face. From smiling too much.

"You took me on a boat."

"Yeah. To the statue of liberty. Couldn't have an Aussie visit without taking her to see a giant metal French chick." He laughed, softly, and relaxing just slightly. "Crowned you tourist of the year. Then took it away from you when you made me eat Vegemite."

"I remember that." I smiled too, the expression so alien that I took a few seconds to realise just what I was doing with my face. There had been an attempt to get him to eat Vegemite with me. I didn't know how we'd gotten some here in New York, couldn't remember that much, but the expression on his face when he'd had an entire spoonful...

"You have no idea how that stuff tastes when you've got a wolf nose." He started to slide some sort of cream against my back then, still close, fingers gliding across from lower back to my neck where one had reached, the other hand reaching up to brush hair out of his way. "I bought you some this morning. Thought you might miss it."

"Thanks."

He went quiet, taking strips of fabric, before continuing, "Night before your cruise, we agree to meet at a bar and have some fun. Some American guy was there, all muscle and terrible cologne, holding you in his lap, sprouting all kinds of shit about what he was going to do with you later to his buddies. I didn't know he was your boyfriend, of course, was about to smash his head into the table for talking about you like that, but … you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend. He told me to fuck off. You just shrugged."

"I don't..."

"Get drunk, I know. You told me. But you were practically falling asleep on him, didn't seem to care where his hands were, and I wasn't going to ruin your night." He was tense again, angry, all bruised pride, while he pressing the strips of linen against my back so that he could tape them down.

"No." I frowned. Tense myself now. Maybe scents weren't like fingerprints or whatever after all. I wasn't sure what he was on about. And yet, I did, somehow, and it made me feel terrified. I didn't understand it. "No, Nick. I don't get drunk, yeah, but I don't … I don't act like that."

"You did. No big deal. I had a good night with someone else, you had a good night, we all had a good night." He didn't sound like he'd had a good night.

"I don't act like that." My voice was raised, heartbeat racing, panic. Panic. I wanted to get out of the car, away from Nick, yanking my shirt down my back before he could finish. "I need to go for a walk."

The car door opened then, as Antonio slid in, gaze sliding back to me. Then to Nick, a harder look, almost angry.

"Sorry, we've got to get moving. Nick. Get back in your seat."

"I didn't finish with your back, Anne."

I knew. Ignored him as I slid back in my seat and did the seatbelt up. Antonio looked from me to him, frown increasing, and he offered one of the paper bags to us. Nick took it, I was not hungry and ignored him when he offered it.

"It doesn't matter. The shirt's clean. I'll finish it when we get a chance later, okay?"

Nick slid backwards as well, eyes on me still, I could feel them boring into me. I didn't look at him.

The drive was quiet then, tense, and I ignored any attempts Nick made at offering food. I wasn't sure why I was angry but I was and no damn donut was going to make me cheer up. I wasn't a whore. I was probably the opposite of that, not a good thing either apparently, having never kissed a man. Slept with him? Let him grope me in public while I sat there drunk like a skunk? Not my kind of thing. Only I couldn't say he was wrong either, or lying, because I remembered the other stuff he'd talked about.

I crossed my arms. Kept my eyes on the road. Tried to stay calm.

It was some time before anyone spoke. Pav had woken by then, accepting the food for her, glancing back at the two of us in the back with some confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"We were just waiting for you to wake before I explained further." Antonio's voice was smooth and calm as he continued. "We should have muddled up the trail enough to make it hard to track you both. There were a few following you but they were idiots, making mistakes, probably not connected to the hunter. Female werewolves aren't common. In fact, they're rare, our Elena being the first to survive. I'm sorry we were slow to act last night, Anne, it took us a moment to believe our noses and move faster. Because you're rare, you're also seen as treasures, things to posses and keep, and any mutt- that is, a werewolf not in the pack- would probably love to snatch either of you up, rape you, murder you." He was quick to add, "We are in the pack and have been taught self-control. We aren't going to harm either of you. You've got nothing to fear from us."

"Why are there so many men?" That was Pav, sliding up, her eyes on Antonio.

"The gene only passes from men to sons." A hesitation, as if he was considering adding something, and then, "And seeing as you'll smell it on Kate anyway, it seems from mothers to daughters. Kate is Elena's five year old daughter. Please don't share that information with anyone. I'd say we protect them, Elena and Kate, the females of our pack but the truth is Elena's about as helpless as a tiger with her cub and you're both just as dangerous with some practice. Jeremy has asked her to help you two given her experience in this. The thing is, and this is difficult to say without sounding like we're coming onto you, that you've both got unique scents to male werewolves. All female werewolves do, except for Kate, because she hasn't started to shift yet. It's a smell that can make any mutt with no self-control go a little crazy, an aphrodisiac almost, though we're used to it from Elena by now."

I found something pushed into my hands from the drivers seat then , an iced coffee, and sighed. Fine.

"The werewolves in The Pack aren't animals. You have no need to fear any of us. We might get a bit playful or annoying sometimes," Antonio's eyes went from the road to Nick in the mirror, I noticed, but it was so brief I almost missed it, "But we won't take it personally if you kick us in the balls if we get out of hand. So that's it, pretty much, except for a few rules that I'll let our alpha share. Jeremy will talk to you both when you arrive. You'll be our guests and like with any guests, we'll take it personally if anyone, supernatural or human, tries to snatch you up or hurt you while we're your hosts."

I must have fallen asleep after his little speech, curled up against the soft seat of the car, the motion soothing. Used to love driving long distances as a passenger. It was so relaxing.

It was country now, I saw as I opened my eyes, the occasional house, animals, birds, trees.

"How close?"

"Still a bit of a drive. How are you feeling?" Antonio said, softly, and I realised the other two were asleep.

"Hungry." First answer, straight from my stomach, and he grinned. Tossed back a small bag.

"I managed to save it for you. Eat up before these two smell it."

I ate, watching out the window, two sandwiches feeling like they'd barely fill anything. The previously rejected donuts helped fill the gaps.

"I know where you and Nick met."

That made me stiffen, memory of the argument earlier, and he sighed. Glanced back at Nick, who was still asleep.

"Sorry, hun, there aren't many secrets in the pack. You bruised his pride, sent him running with a tail between his legs, surprising him with a boyfriend after he'd spent all that time trying to get you into bed. Like I said, if he gets out of hand, kick him."

I didn't answer and his eyes returned to the road. But I couldn't stand it. So I leaned forward, softly, "There's no way he would have gotten me into bed. But I didn't have a boyfriend."

"You say you can't remember the time though. Maybe you met someone."

"Even if I had," My face was reddening but I didn't want the wrong idea of me getting around this Pack group. Better to make it plain now. "He would have had to practically propose to me to get me into his bed, and there's no way in hell I'd let anyone grope me in public, fiancee, husband or boyfriend. And if he got me drunk in public like that he wouldn't have been anything to me by the time I was sober again."

"Are you religious?" There was surprise in Antonio's voice, his expression back on me fleetingly.

"No. I ...it's odd, I know, all my friends would tease me about it. Called it cute. Guess most twenty fi... six," I had to correct myself as I remembered that I'd missed a birthday, "Twenty six year olds have already had sex, or married, or popped out some babies. I just couldn't. It went against my instincts, not because I was afraid of hell, just because I wanted to be with a partner. Someone for life. Only one."

"Makes a lot of sense to me." His voice was low, soft, eyes fixed on the road, and I somehow could believe he meant it.

"I don't know what he saw that night. It just goes against everything I..." I hesitated. Sat back. My heart was hammering again, in my chest, anxiety.

"You are. I understand."

I nodded, lips tightening, staring out of my own window. I couldn't accuse Nick of making it up. Even as he'd said it, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I'd remembered too. Not all of it. Just snippets. A hand against my thigh, laughter, and Nick's angry face. I remembered that face, because it was suddenly out of sight as some idiot bumped into him. Or had he shoved him? I didn't remember.

"How is Pav?"

"Sleeping."

I leaned forward again, unclipped the seatbelt so I could see her. She was asleep, dark lashes on her unnaturally pale face, chest rising and falling in quick shallow breathes. This was how she was half of the time we'd rested. I didn't know her well, didn't even know her last name, but I felt responsible for her.

"Sit back and put your seatbelt on. I'm watching her."

I did.

"Jeremy's trying to figure out what's wrong with her while we drive."

"No hospitals?"

"Not for werewolves." He shook his head slightly. "Can't let them get hold of our blood. It causes too many questions. Did she change while you were running?"

I nodded. "She just lay there. Whimpered. I couldn't get near her, every time I tried, she'd get aggressive. Didn't recognise me at all. But she didn't move. Just found a corner and stayed in it till morning."

His mouth tightened. I knew what he was thinking. It didn't sound good.

"She has a girlfriend we had to leave behind. We couldn't get her out." I added. "She wanted to go back, I think, wanted to go back to her. The only reason she didn't try was because we didn't really know where we were, or where it was, neither of us know this country that well."

"We'll try and locate it. How is your back feeling?"

"Same. No, maybe a bit better, a little less hot." My concern wasn't really on my back, it was on Pav.

"We're halfway there. Not as long to go now."

I nodded. We went quiet, the breathing slow and easy from the sleepers, and the road continued to fly past. For the rest of the journey we didn't talk, just waited, watching for the safe place these men had called home.


	2. Stonehaven

**Stonehaven**

I must have fallen asleep again. When I woke it was because a car door closing, the sound soft but still enough to register in some part of my mind. A car door? No. A gate. An electronic gate of some kind, perhaps.

We were moving again slowly. I watched him and Nick out of the corner of my eyes, not moving, feeling safe. Safe? Why so safe? It wasn't something I could explain. It logically shouldn't have been happening- my only experience with werewolves was bad ones.

Was it an inbuilt sense, knowing the difference between hostile and safe? Something about that short time with Nick, on the plane and in New York, that had led me to trust him? Maybe I'd just been around so many hostile men for so long that I learnt to recognise hostile behaviour without consciously acknowledging it. They weren't threatening. Not to me, at least, though they had been very threatening at one point when they snapped the neck of a 'mutt' in front of me.

Maybe I was just going mad. Also a valid option.

"We're here." Antonio murmured, reaching across to Pav, giving her a gentle shake. She jumped, blinked, leaning up and gazing around her. There was a driveway, bush, no landscaping, just the natural landscape that might have been here since before humans tried to claim the land around it.

The light was fading as well, dark clouds building in the sky, the patter of rain starting to fall on the car. He sped up, just slightly, as if he wasn't keen on getting stuck in any sort of downpour.

The house came into view beside a field, a garage beside it, the garage door opening to reveal a long dark empty space.

"Ah, good, he got it empty for the trailer." Antonio muttered. His attention was focused completely on getting it inside, presumably without scratching it or denting it.

"Saves us having to hide this and rush it in all at once while the twins are watching." '

I had seen the shapes of people on the verandah outside, through the rain, but hadn't gotten much of a look at them. Three of them maybe. Voices were there too. The rain increased in strength. Pav was already being helped out, Antonio on her side with an umbrella out, unsteady. She looked worse. He was quick to lift her up, umbrella over the two of them, and out the door of the garage.

"Come on." The door was opening, Nick outside it, waiting. He held a hand for me.

I ignored it, sliding past him, ignoring him. The anger may have been wrong to target at him but I needed to be angry at someone right now. Couldn't explain it. Just had to be angry. Maybe it was nerves.

A growl from behind me. "Oh, fuck it, they can wait." A hand grabbed my arm. "Wait. Wait, Liz."

I froze then. That name I didn't want to hear. So what if it was more proof that he'd known who I was before this? So what if he'd known me before all of the bitten stuff at all? I hissed, softly, covering his mouth with my hand. "I'm Anne. Remember?" I went to walk, again, but was yanked back harder, making me wince. Ow. I may have healed faster like this but I was still injured.

He cringed the second I winced, grip on my arm softening. "Anne then. But let me talk."

"Why?"

"I heard what you said to An... to my father."

"When?"

"When I was pretending to be asleep." That statement didn't help the anger in me and he seemed to realise, know he'd slipped up again, frowning deeper. "I know that sounds bad. I just didn't want him to tell me off or cut you off. Sorry."

"You're forgiven for sleeping." My own face was narrowed, hostile, surprised by my own level of anger. I was close to taking the advice and kneeing him in the balls and he hadn't really said anything bad. Not yet. Slid under his arm, for the door, only to be yanked again. He was more gentle this time.

"No, let me explain. I'm used to women who behave like that. Okay, they usually have some fun with me first, who could resist this?" A flicker of what he'd been in my memories, flirty, confidant, not broody or confused, as Nick's face lightened in a quick grin, a kind of face most girls probably went for. When I didn't smile back, he frowned. The confused look returned to his face. For a moment he reminded me of a teenage boy, awkward, not really good with anything that involved women. "I mean I'm not used to women like _you_."

"Whores?" My face burnt red.

"No. I believe you if you say you aren't like that. I mean-" The same awkward face."I'm used to women who want a good time. Who like to play around a bit, who drink a bit too much sometimes, who love to party. I'm not used to..."

"Prudes?"

Nick growled, hand tightening on my arm, stepping closer. "No. That isn't what I meant either. I'm used to women. I like women. I know how to behave with them, how to flirt, how to talk. _Y__ou _confuse the hell out of me. You always did."

It was like one insult after another. I frowned. He signed. Released my arm.

"Now? I was easy before? Is this some attempt at insulting me some more?" Okay, even I thought that might have gone a bit far, but I wanted to be angry. I wanted to yell. I never yelled, never had, hated the idea, always claimed to be someone who felt sad instead of angry... and yet right now, I wanted to feel _angry_.

"_No_." Another growl, his muscles tensing. "I'm trying to explain. I thought you had a boyfriend. I thought you might have been having a bit of fun with me, using me while you waited, but he showed up, so I was dumped. That really hurt my pride. No woman's done that to me before. I figured I should let you have your life and..."

"You talk like we were dating. I just remember having fun."

"You didn't seem to mind when I called them dates."

I went quiet. He stared at me, that intense stare, that awkwardness making his hand tense and relax around my arm, like he both wanted to stalk off and abandon this whole thing, or … his eyes kept flickering to my mouth. It made me lick my lips, then wish I hadn't, because it drew his attention back there. Okay, so we'd met on a plane, and we'd probably spent about four days here afterwards. Or was it five? I remembered only the plane, at least a few minutes of it, and a boat ride. "I only knew you for a few days."

"Didn't seem to mind when I bought a ticket for your cruise either." Nick added, quieter. "Seemed relieved you'd know someone on board."

I blinked. I didn't remember that but it sounded like me. I wasn't outgoing, wasn't keen on pretending, and yes, I did remember a slight anxiety about that. A cruise ship of a thousand strangers, bars, social dinners, and I would be solo.

Nick hesitated, as if he'd only just remembered then that I couldn't quite remember everything. "I wasn't proposing to you or anything but I was very happy to … parties, a cute Australian-" I made a face at that description- "Good food on buffet tables? Europe? Couldn't resist."

The attempt at being angry was failing big time. But, the logic screamed in me, this was Nick. A werewolf. On a cruise. "How the hell did you plan on handling changes on a _cruise_?"

"Big room, locked door, dad coming along so we'd take turns, and a flight back to America. Not that difficult, just a bit frustrating without any running. That's not the point."

"What's the point?" I wasn't sure if he knew either. He just stood there and stared at me.

"Nick." A voice called from outside.

Nick ignored it. Inhaled, deep, his spare hand reaching up to rub his head as he shook it slightly, like he was trying to shake my smell out of his nostrils. "I was angry with you today because I thought you lied to me. I don't sleep with women who have a partner. I don't respect a woman who cheats. Okay-" He cut me off as my mouth opened, "-_Now _I know that you wouldn't sleep with me and I would have been fine with that too, it was for some fun, and fun doesn't always involve sex." Something in his face suggested he was sorely tempted to add something like 'It doesn't hurt though' or something similar but he held it back. Rubbed his forehead again. "My point is I shouldn't have gotten angry at you and left you being pawed by some asshole and his friends. I'm sorry, Li- sorry, _Anne_."

"Forget it. Nothing you could have done."

What else could I say? I didn't know why I was angry with him. Was I angry with him or with something else?

"Why have you changed your name?"

"I'm not the same girl. They... I'm not her." How could I explain that? I'd changed. Gotten angrier, gotten stronger, gotten harder, and however innocent I might have been experience wise, I'd lost a different kind of innocence. They'd loved the name Elizabeth. I changed it as soon as I'd escaped.

He hesitated. Nostrils flared, taking in the smell of me, stepping closer. There was no air between us now, just the warmth of our bodies and the cooling car behind me, head dropping closer. Maybe Nick knew I was right, because he didn't argue, but his brown eyes were slightly unfocused as they stayed focused in my grey ones. It made me a little restless, and I had the vague suspicion that we'd probably been in this position a long time ago. Surely he could smell the difference. Wolf, blood on my back, remember that I'd been ready to kill someone... I was not her. Whatever we'd done, whatever kind of dates we'd had, it was someone else.

All he wanted was my smell now.

"Maybe you're right to treat me different now." I said, finally, softly. Shoved at him, pushing him back, as I felt an unexpected sadness flood through me. "I don't remember you. I don't remember what you remember. And I can't go back."

Not to me, not to my study, not to my family. A part of me had died, and with it, a life. It was a pure soap opera moment, only there was no corny music there in the room, there was no magic solution, I knew that was it. That was why I wanted to be angry. I couldn't go back to Australia. I couldn't tell my family what I was, if I could speak to them, I couldn't be a vegetarian now- my body flat out refused such an absurd concept- and University was out of the question now. The asshole that'd bitten me had collared me with complete success, without the stupid thing he'd had made for me by a silversmith, chained me to his country and his way of life.

Nick didn't answer. He continued to stare at me, like he wasn't quite sure what to say, and finally,  
>"I've been treating you different?"<p>

I almost wanted to laugh a dry humourless laugh at that. Soap opera without the appropriate timed lines, Nick's question didn't help at all, and with a mix of torture, a bit of S&M, and god knows what else, this wasn't the kind of thing you'd find on a Neighbours script. There'd be ...well, I didn't know, I didn't really watch that shit. Probably a sudden pregnancy that brought the whole world back together again. I didn't know what the fuck I'd do if that happened. I'd either crack completely or tie my entire life to it in an unhealthy way. Maybe both.

"Nick?" A voice called from outside, over the rain, interrupting Nick, and his eyes going to the door. It was like a spell had been broken and I was quick to take advantage of it. Slid away.

Another man was standing at the garage door, eyes going from one to the other, his face unreadable.

"Are you Anne? I'm Jeremy. Wanted to see how you were feeling before I focused on your friend."

Angry, sad, amused, lost, tired. What did he want me to say? "Fine. Maybe a bit hungry."

"Elena's going to have a talk with you. Your friend's ...well, you know what situation your friend's in, I may be there for a while. Nick, you'll have to sleep in Elena's room, most likely. Or on the couch."

Jeremy seemed to be expecting an argument there, his mouth already opening, but he looked almost shocked when Nick just muttered a 'Fine'. His gaze went over the two of us again, one and the other, boring into us as if trying to know what had just been said.

"There's bad weather coming. Nick, I need you to start getting all these things inside, or covering up things that need to stay hidden so they're protected. And hurry. The twins are distracted by dinner and won't see you."

Another 'fine' from behind me. Jeremy shook his head, like he couldn't be bothered figuring Nick out at that exact point, and gestured to me. "Come on in, Anne, before you freeze to death out here."

I let him lead me inside, through a downpour of sludgy freezing rain, into a warm house. Voices. Antonio, I knew his already, a voice with one hell of a stereotypical American accent that I might have connected to cowboy movie, and a woman. Kids too, the sound of clashing spoons, forks, plates, the smell of food. No, the kids were being taken away, smell wafting away with them, and the 'cowboy voice' following after them.

We came into a study where a fire was going, the woman sitting next to it, Antonio standing nearby. She stared at me and I stared back, our eyes meeting, nostrils flaring at the same time. There was something to be said about being able to identify people with a smell. I might not have known her marker, her personal scent, but I could tell she was a werewolf. No need to whip out the birth certificates or certificates of changing or some stupid paperwork thing.

"Hi." I said. What else could I say?"

Elena, as I guessed her to be, stood, and straightened. She was pretty gorgeous, I had to admit, all silver blonde and blue eyed, and dressed in a way that made me suspect she didn't really care about fashion so much as she cared about practicality. I instantly liked her. She walked forward to take my hand, still looking slightly stunned herself, even with the prior warning she'd probably had. "Hello. I'm a little surprised, so excuse me if I'm a bit ..."

"Stunned?" Jeremy said from behind me. He moved to stand beside me, face softening into a smile, affection for the woman clear in his face. "We're all a little stunned. We thought the two might be pulling some kind of prank. I'm not sure if I'm glad you're real or not."

He blinked, shaking his head slightly, and glanced backwards. "I need to go check on the other girl. Elena, can you check on Anne's back?"

"I'll go help Nick." Antonio smiled at me, a warm smile, hand brushing against my shoulder a moment before he was gone.

Elena tugged another seat over. "Here, have a seat and take your shirt off."

I sat, pulling it off again with a wince, holding it against my chest once more. Empty room, should have been okay, but I felt a bit self-concious. Elena was thin and leggy. I, even with this 'werewolf figure' had the hourglass shape, and while most softer wriggly spots had vanished, I hadn't lost the curves.

Elena shook her head behind me. "Relax. Around here, no one really cares how naked you get. You can put it out in front of the fire, let it dry a bit."

I hesitated but did so, self concious about my chest, even with the bra covering it. We went quiet as she worked, as if neither of us really knew what to say to each other... or we did, just not how to ask it.

Or apparently she did, because the moment I relaxed, was the moment she started to talk. Her tone had gone from the lighter tone to something more business like.

"Jeremy asked me to give you the rules as he's tending to your friend. Before you ask- she's got a fever. I can't tell you more than that. He'll let us know in an hour. The rules are simple. First change is in the cage downstairs for safety reasons."

"I can control it."

Elena shrugged, I felt her hands lifting slightly as she did, her attention still fixed on treating the skin carefully. "I'm not saying you're lying, but with my kids around, we're going to be careful. You know what the signs are before a change?"

I nodded.

"Then let any of us know. You're not allowed to leave the property for the time being unless you're leaving and not returning- and if that's the case, we'll take you somewhere to lessen scent trails. The forest itself is off limits unless you're with a pack member. Nick has already volunteered to escort you around. Jeremy agreed."

I tensed at that. Of course he did. "When did he do that?"

"While you were asleep in the car, I think, he was quick. Reece will probably be doing it when he comes back for Christmas, as you're both Australian, he's one of our younger newer pack members. Next rule is to not skip a single meal- it's not safe when you're so newly bitten- it shouldn't be a hard one to follow." Elena sat back. "I won't worry about covering your back. It's already healing."

I tugged my shirt over my head again as she went to sit in front of me, beside the fire, her incredible silver blonde hair reflecting the red of the flames.

"The only other rule is to not contact anyone outside the pack. No family, no friends, that includes no email or anything else online. The werewolves in charge of your kidnapping probably are good enough to know about how to watch those." Elena looked a bit sympathetic then, as my face flashed just the briefest emotion, a twist of something darker from the emotions I'd felt before. I knew that. I wish they hadn't had to rub that in. "We'll check up on family for you as soon as we can. But it isn't a priority, I'm sorry, we've got bigger problems."

"I guess I understand. They can wait a bit longer." I said, trying to relax my tense muscles, and she sighed. Didn't answer me. I had wanted to contact them, email a brother, just look at facebook, see what had changed. But I wasn't going to go against Elena's rules. Something in me refused to, flat out, and I wasn't going to push it.

"I'll get dinner and then we'll talk." She left for a moment, bring back plates heaped with spaghetti and some kind of pre-made sauce, slices of meat and garlic bread beside it, sliding one to me across the table. We ate in silence.

When the plates were empty, Elena slid back, sighing out a long sigh. I did the same without thinking, an emptiness in my stomach gone, feeling a little less emotional, a little less unbalanced.

We started to talk then. It started off in the most non-threatening way possible, I suspected it was planned this way, discussing logistics of the areas I'd been held rather than what I'd experienced. Things like layout, were there windows, security cameras, could I draw a map in the next couple of days, what kind of meals, what kind of people were allowed in and out. Was it warm or cold? Was there heating or air conditioning? Any visible vents?

"Now, you need to tell me your story, as much as you can remember." Elena, just after the 'how often was air conditioning turned on' question, suddenly changed the line of questioning. I wondered if she'd deliberate questions first to relax me and put my mind back in that place.

This was harder. I went over how I'd gotten to America again, how I'd lost memory of everything from LA onwards, only now starting to remember some things. I hesitated to mention Nick, for some reason, but could think of no logical reason to leave it out either. So I told her what he'd said and what I'd remembered. At some point Nick seemed to come into the room, standing beside the door, because when I'd started to stumble, Nick tried to talk and add things, leaving me to sit there quietly.

"I'll talk to you later, Nick." Elena frowned, eyes moving to the door, her expression making him nod and back out of the room again. "So you know you were in a bar, the night before the cruise set sail, behaving in a strange way."

"Yes." I did know. The idea made my skin crawl, the groggy memory of a hand on a thigh, of a strange man holding me on his lap, I felt uncomfortable. Dirty. So her description was exactly perfect.

"What do you remember then?"

"Lying in a bed. No. It was like a hospital stretcher thing but it was just the base with some restraints built into each corner of the bed." Meaningless description, not connected to me at all, I knew. It was also very unhelpful for her. So I tried again, pushing myself. "It's the first thing I remember clearly. I woke up in a huge room, some kind of warehouse that smelt like a hospital and had bright lights pointing at us. They were blinding. I couldn't move my body, which made me freak out for a moment, think I was paralysed, but I could feel the sheets under me."

Elena was leaning forward, her gaze fixed on me, notepad forgotten.

"There were those room divider things but I saw some other beds out of the corner of my eye. I saw people with guns walking up and down the middle of the room, and giant dogs, so I knew that I wasn't in a hospital. I guess I thought they were security dogs. When I tried to talk, my mouth wouldn't work properly, and a doctor noticed I was awake." Now I was starting to feel anxious, a little shut in, and I shifted sideways in the seat. Eyes flickering to the door, the window, as if to reassure myself that they were both open. I could still go outside and walk.

"You can have a walk if you need one." Elena's gaze had followed mine and she seemed to understand.

It was enough to know that though, and I shook my head, trying to will myself to get into the next part. Quick and fast like a bandaid. Don't draw it out. "I guess you can guess that I was bitten then. The doctor sedated me as soon as he'd done what he wanted and ...well, after that, I lost track of time again. I can't really tell you much about it."

Elena nodded, her face still pale, still unreadable, body stiff and straight up, eyes fixed on me. "Just try and think about where you went next."

"I know that I was moved into a cell. Bars and locked door and everything. I think there was a lot of noise for the first few months. A lot of girls, a lot of yelling, a lot of screaming, but the doctors had us still restrained on beds. I know that the werewolf that bit me kept coming back to visit. I don't remember when, or why, just that it was a lot. He brought me treats. Food. Tried to make friends with me, asking me who my family was, what my name was, did I have an address, like he was going to help me." I frowned, anger boiling up, the need to ...well, something. "The first bit of it, everyone was screaming, and I was terrified, I wanted to believe someone would help me. It seemed so inhuman. I saw dead girls and sick girls and smelt blood, and was hurt all the time, nightmares, it was …" I trailed off. How could I describe it? It had been worse than hell. "Then he'd show up, and he'd stroke my face, he'd give me cold water, and get the doctor to give me painkillers. Gave me pieces of fresh fruit. Bits of meat. Fed me by hand, because my hands were locked down, and wiped my face. It's obvious what he was doing now but ...he did it for a long time, for months, and, well, I fell in love with him. Thought he was going to save me."

Elena nodded, her jaw stiff, as she listened. Then, "I'm guessing that didn't last."

"He brought me a present. A collar, this delicate little leather thing with silver work and sapphires in it, so delicate, but so clearly a dog collar and not a necklace. He put it on, stroked my hair and said that I was such a brave pet and deserved to be untied now." It had been a slap. "The second they'd unclipped me, I'd broken his jaw, chased them both out of the cell, and tore it up. Broke every last stupid sapphire on the stones, smashed and dented the silver work, and threw it at them. He made sure I felt every last dollar that thing had been worth when I was done and I decided that no way in hell I was going to wait for someone to save me. The withdrawal from the painkillers seemed to help my determination there." The memory of that, the punishment for the collar, and how turned on he'd been. He had literally been stroking himself, one hand down his pants, as the other struck me again, and again, and again, the whip cutting through flesh, and he hadn't stopped till he'd cum. By then I had been almost unconscious. Then he'd refused to give me painkillers, after who knew how many weeks or months of daily offerings, and I could only remember vomiting, pain, frequent and uncontrollable changes, blood, all of it in a fog. I'd made sure every last pain, every time I woke up after a change, I reminded myself why I had to save myself.

I went quiet then, staring at the fire, listening to the rain, rage and anger and hurt making my heart throb. He'd broken my heart and made me so pissed off. That was more than I'd really intended on telling them. I had to tell them though. Tell them what kind of clever ass holes ran it.

Elena didn't probe me to talk, she sat back, sighing, rubbing her forehead.

"Sorry. I sort of ranted a bit there." I said after a few minutes, trying to still my heart. "The problem is that I only really remember things like him, because I was drugged so much, and he kept having them give me painkillers between his visits. I guess I knew I was a werewolf pretty early on and didn't want to accept it till I saw the girl in the cell loose her mind over it. I made myself accept it then. It made it easier to change. He kept reassuring me, when he had me wrapped around his finger, telling me that I was normal, that there were other werewolves, that one day he'd bring you home and I'd have a friend to live with."

"Me?" Elena's expression didn't falter, it remained unfathomable, but her body stiffened just the slightest bit.

"Yeah." I went quiet. Clearly she'd not known anyone like this but he'd been full of plans. Nice ones, sort of, at first. When he'd gotten nastier, he'd told me other things, about how he'd break me and then I'd help him break others. I'd refused and he'd laughed like I had no clue what I wanted to do. Elena had been one of his fantasies, he loved to sit there, stroking himself, telling me how we'd break her. I had never wanted to harm a person more than I'd wanted to hurt him then. My own rape, the one he kept planning 'with me', was bad enough but when he'd started to talk about how I'd help him rape others... "He was very interested in you and someone called Katherine. Said that as the alpha, his pack had given him the right to capture the first females."

"Ka..." Elena growled. I jumped, she stood up, loosing control over her face just a moment as a flood of emotions, anger, hatred, even fear, her hands tensing. It was just there a second before it was hidden again behind the unreadable face but she said, voice very soft, "Excuse me."

I sat there for a while, watching the fire burn, trying my hardest to ignore the swirl of emotions that were still trying to overwhelm me. Anger, hatred, rage, horror, and even heart-break still. I'd loved him so deeply that, between fogs of drugs, pain killers, and memory lapses, I'd had fantasies about the two of us married. I had trusted him so deeply and felt so utterly betrayed. Wasn't there some mental illness around that? I couldn't remember what it was called. All I knew was that when he'd stopped pretending he'd done me the biggest favour anyone ever had.

After a while Elena returned. She sat back down and offered chocolate.

"Do you know who Katherine is?"

"No. He was more interested in what he wanted with you. Seemed like..." Like I had nothing to do with Katherine. He'd only mentioned her when he'd told me about Elena. "I guess he was more interested in informing me about you."

"Katherine's my daughter." Elena said, quietly, before biting her own chocolate. "Thankyou for telling me all of this. I'm sure it wasn't easy."

That made me flinch. Her daughter? How old could her daughter be? From the sounds of the children earlier, not that old.

"How old were the women that you saw around you? How many did you see?"

This question had sort of been covered by Antonio. But she looked different, a bit haunted then, tense alert, like this was something she needed to ask herself.

"They were teenagers. I think I was one of the older ones."

"How many?"

"I don't know." But I did have an idea, a smaller voice reminded me, the bars on the cell door weren't exactly good at hiding a lot. And I'd found their autopsy room, their microscopes, their science equipment stuff, found a freezer. I bit my lip, scolding myself for being afraid of words, because _this _wasn't about me at all. "One other girl in my hallway. She didn't speak English so we never talked. Pav was in a hallway that had four others, but they were all in pretty bad shape, except for her girlfriend who was changing when we found her. She refused to let us near as a wolf so we had to leave her. I couldn't get into the other two hallways. They were locked. But on our way out I found … where they stored and studied girls after they died. There were at least two dozen, probably more. I didn't stop to count."

I had stopped to vomit though, opening a door I'd hoped might be supplies, finding instead bodies. Empty eyes, glazed over, wrapped up but left in the freezer as if they'd had nothing better. That'd been when I'd realised how young some of them had been. They hadn't all been humans either, there were different stages, like a number hadn't survived the bite, two had died halfway through a change, and there had been two more girls who were completely in wolf form. I could only identify them from the smell. One of them was the girl who'd lost her mind across the hall from me, a perfect round circle in her forehead where someone had 'put her to sleep'.

"Shit." The man with the 'cowboy' voice was behind me, something I hadn't noticed earlier, and I jumped. "Two dozen?"

He ignored me, striding to Elena's side, a hand closing over her shoulder. Blue eyes took me in without much of an expression. Not cold, so much as uninterested, as if I'd been weighed up and decided that I was neither a threat or an interest at that time. His attention was purely on Elena, even with his eyes on me, standing there a minute.

"Clay, can you make us some coffee?" Elena said after a while, eyes reaching up to meet his.

"Course, darling. Twins are down. Jamie's nearly here." He leaned down, hand brushing across her arm, before striding out again.

Elena's face softened just a moment before she looked back towards me. We sat in silence until Clayton returned with a tray of cups and a coffee pot. He was coming to sit down with us, and she hesitated, glancing at me.

"Clayton is going to stay here _and _he'll stay quiet." She added, glancing at him, it more of an order than a statement for my comfort. He nodded.

Elena poured us coffees, sliding one to Clayton, and we started again.

After that, she seemed to want to go back to less disturbing things, or perhaps she'd had a list she'd decided to work down. I didn't really know. The questions were closer to Antonio's questions, I wondered if perhaps they'd already discussed this, and it was easier to repeat things. Not easy... just easier. Like rattling off a script. Then there were other questions, about the women themselves, the teenagers. Did they have something in common? What did I know about them? All I knew was that most of them, when I did hear them yelling, had accents other than American. I was the only Australian as far as I knew but, as I reminded Elena, I hadn't been able to meet the others.

She nodded, writing down what accents I thought I'd heard, the notebook she'd taken starting to fill with her notes.

The questions then got harder. She wanted to know about the werewolves themselves. My anxiety started to flutter as I found myself trying to remember faces, smells, names, guards, doctors, my heart refusing to calm down from its panicked flutter against ribcage. I struggled, and I knew it probably was frustrating for her, but some part of me did not want to recall these things. Elena didn't let up though, getting as much, till I was trembling.

Chocolate appeared then, Elena taking it out of a drawer, and we paused to eat it. Maybe she'd needed a break at that point too.

It went to weapons then. What kind did they have? I could only say guns and that was it. Guns were illegal in Australia and so I had no experience knowing what they were supposed to be. Dart guns too, when they wanted to get close. Elena made me give measurements, colours, markings, and I did my best, but she wasn't surprised when I'd said that I hadn't really wanted to look at the guns.

When I answered about how many I may have seen, six or eight or something, trying to stay calm, trying to let the chocolate keep the anxiety to a minimum, Clayton seemed to forget himself for a moment, swearing. Elena shot Clayton a look and he held up his hands. It made me feel a little bit better though, like perhaps I wasn't feeling too emotional and stressed about this, that maybe it was a big deal.

"What about your friend? Do you know much about her?"

"She's from India. She said her mother's Canadian." Fingers tightening around the mug, now empty, feeling it crack. I released it, muttering apologise, which she shrugged off and held out her own mug. At some point during the talk Elena had snapped the handle off the mug. "She was captured with her girlfriend while they were trying to figure out where to live."

Elena slid forward to put the pieces of her mug on the table, sighing out, looking exhausted.

"Okay. There's just a bit more and we'll be done. Jeremy wanted to know a bit about your injuries and then you can go sleep."

"My injuries?" I was confused. I had explained the whip, hadn't I?

"You limp, and I suppose the whip too. How they happened and why." Elena didn't explain why she wanted to know that. Maybe it was to get a clear picture of what they'd be walking into, if there'd be injuries all over the place.

I had forgotten about the limp. No, I hadn't forgotten exactly, but it had been unimportant. So I shrugged, trying to shrug it away. "I think I broke my hip somehow. I just remember a lot of pain, and refusing to let doctors come in to touch me. And..." Oh fuck. Yes, I did remember, and I remembered why I'd decided to ignore it. Forget it.

Elena didn't probe. She went just the slightest bit pale. But she sat up straighter. Clearly willing herself to ask something she was half afraid to hear the answer to.

"Did they rape you?"

The question was so blunt, so unexpected, I flinched. She frowned, eyes narrowing, as if she'd already decided what the answer was.

"No."

That was not the answer she'd settled on, her face in obvious surprise, and then an expression which I might have guessed was 'Maybe she's forgotten if it happened'.

"No." I repeated, shifting uncomfortably, thinking it was better to just tell her how my hip had broken so she'd get _that _idea out of her head. He'd done a lot of fucked up shit to me but rape was being saved for a _special _occasion. "No, it wasn't that bad, it wasn't anything bad like rape. I broke my hip somehow. I think I was in a fight with a girl, or maybe it had been one of those dreams I'd had, but I just have this memory of being told that the doctors would only treat me and give me pain killers if I put the collar on first. So I destroyed it. Ripped it apart. They left me alone, I think hoping I'd change my mind later, but I was so angry at him and so determined that I wouldn't accept any more pain killers or help."

A sharp inhale from the corner Clayton was still settled in, eyes still not taking me in, his eyes on Elena instead.

Elena's eyes had narrowed too, particularly at the word 'collar', and she said very carefully, "It never got treated?"

"I made a splint for it by breaking the bed apart. It healed and I don't walk the same but I can still walk and run fine. They offered to fix it so I'd heal properly but only if I wore the collar. I refused to wear the collar."

"What the fuck is this about a collar?" Clayton's knuckles were white, his jaw tight, eyes fixed on me with a look that I suspected wasn't to do with me at all. I didn't know werewolf tradition but I suspected it was like trying to offer a collar to a fully grown wild wolf. It wasn't done.

"Did all the girls have to wear them?" Elena didn't shush him, her gaze still on me.

"Yes. He already had one girl walking on a leash. Anyone who refused got the whip and I think someone died when he got too carried away once. He... they had ways to break us. I didn't give in but I understand why some did. Pav was wearing one. I made her destroy it while we were running."

"Fucking hell." Clayton swore again, breathing out, his neck so tense that I could see something throbbing in it. Veins.

"That's enough for tonight." She looked tired now, and I couldn't help but think that was enough for the whole damn week. Elena continued,"I think your back's probably going to be fine, we heal pretty fast, but if you feel sick or strange at any point tell myself or Jeremy, better to play that safe. Clayton."

"Yep." He was still sitting there in that stiff 'veins throbbing' way, like he didn't trust himself to move, hands white still against his leg. Eyes moved to Elena.

"I'm tired- can you drag Nick out of our bed?" She smiled, a tired smile which made him nod, his own small smile meeting hers.

"Of course. See you up there soon." He was gone in an instant, eyes back to me, and I wondered if I'd seen slightly less hostility and coldness there than before. Maybe.

Elena spoke when he was gone, clearly uncomfortable, but she kept her gaze fixed on me. "I thought I'd ask while Clayton was out of the room, just to make sure. Was there a possibility you were ...raped?" She hesitated. Added, "That is an uncomfortable question, I know, and very private. I wouldn't ask but we're concerned that your friend may have a STD. That's highly unusual, any sort of illness in a werewolf, so we're trying to see if she was sick before she was bitten or if she contracted it during her time there. If a werewolf was in a extended period of weakness or injury then it's possible that we'd be be more susceptible to an illness and if she was … if it was passed on by the same werewolf..."

"I _wasn't _raped.. He was too proud to do it when I couldn't fight back and they were all afraid of him. The one who bit Pav was a different werewolf. I don't know how he treated her." But was I confidant about that? No. Not in the slightest. I just had to keep pretending to be to stop myself from going mad.

Elena nodded. I felt the air's tension lesson around us, as she released any other questions she had. Maybe she could tell I'd had enough, I didn't know.

"Come have a snack before bed." She said, finally, standing. "I'd love to hear about what you did before."

"Before?"

"Before coming to America."

I followed her to the kitchen, accepting a seat when she gestured to it.

"Ice cream too cold for winter?"

"It's fine, I don't mind the cold."

"Isn't it all desert in Australia?" Elena scooped out ice-cream as she spoke into two bowls, head twitching towards the exit of the kitchen, before bending over to a cupboard to get another couple of bowls. The question was so casual, so shallow, that I took a while just to know how to answer it.

"Not where I grew up. It was this mountain covered in a rainforest." I answered as she slid the bowl to me and a bottle of chocolate ice-cream topping. She had said it before, yes, but I hadn't been able to process it then. Now I was glad of any change of subject from the earlier ones.

"We've got another Australian here. Reece has been with us about a year now and works with Antonio and Nick. I told him you were coming, he doesn't seem to believe me." Elena left two spare bowls of ice cream on the bench and sat down on the other side. "But he did say that he'd test your nationality with vegemite so I hope you don't mind eating that stuff."

I made a line across my ice-cream and started at it. A perfect dead centre line. So I made another one, making a cross Then I circled it. Before I knew it, I was doodling a mandala on the ice-cream, just a really basic one with a lotus on it, feeling a kind of urge to do something creative. I hadn't drawn anything for months and creative didn't require memory or thought.

She glanced down at what I was doing with the topping- a little simple lotus mandala that probably looked more fancy just because it _was _a mandala. It clearly brought up the earlier question. "What did you do before you came out here?"

"I did fine arts. Decided it wasn't enough so then I did hypnotherapy."

"What, seriously?" Elena shook her head, a small smile on her face, as she stared at the chocolate topping over the ice-cream.

"Yeah. Was almost finished with the hypnotherapy until... well, you know." I didn't bother to add that I'd studied about past life regression and stuff. It didn't seem to matter at this point. When I glanced up, she was shaking her head, and I flushed, sliding the chocolate topping back to her.

"I don't know how you'd eat that. It's beautiful." She shook her head again. Went to do her own topping, more chocolate than ice-cream, and mixed it up.

"I can." A voice from behind me, arm darting over me to grab the bowl, Nick's scent crashing over me from behind.

I spun around but he was backing off with the bowl, grinning, holding it up. It was so different from his earlier mood that I wasn't sure how to react to it, react to that warm smile, or that playful dart backwards, or react when he licked the top of the ice cream mound.

"Nick, give hers back, I did one for you." Elena called from behind, the sound of her own chair scraping, bowl clattering down.

Nick shook his head. Dipped a finger into it, topping and all, and licked it off his finger. She let out a growl, muttering something about him, but my attention was distracted.

The window behind him had something outside it.

My heart stopped and then increased. Eyes widened. Mouth opening slightly, cheeks going slightly pink.

Nick apparently thought I was doing this at him, his laugh frozen in mid-laugh, almost returning to his earlier mood for a second, but his eyes moved to Elena and that darker expression vanished. He winked and sucked another bit of ice-cream off his finger.

I ignored that, attention only partly on him, sliding up onto my feet to walk past him to a window. Soft white flakes were dancing around outside the window.

"You Australians." Nick laughed. "Was snow forecast, Elena?"

I was already heading outside, not hearing her answer, forgetting the 'don't go anywhere without pack members', ignoring the boots, and standing on the driveway with bare feet sinking into the wet cold ground. A wind was whipping around me, making the little snowflakes dance in crazy swirls, my hair joining in. I loved wind, I loved snowflakes, and all tension from the discussion earlier started to ease out of me. I sighed out slowly and held out an arm to watch my dark sleeve get covered in a little pattern of white against dark green, the light on the porch making it look almost black.

"I hope Jamie gets here before the blizzard does." Elena came out behind me, followed by Nick, who had secured a spoon and was eating as he stood there.

"Blizzard?" I turned to look at them with hope. Yes, I was Australian, but I had seen snow. It'd even snowed where I went to school a few times. But a blizzard? That was new. A storm of the white powdery stuff? Before Christmas? It filled me with a strange kind of hope. "Really?"

Nick laughed, reaching over to tug me closer to him, and I didn't resist. The more I relaxed, the more I felt the curiosity, the less I felt anxiety about this. I almost felt like myself- like I'd been before I'd come here to America- and remembered how I'd loved close physical contact. Hugs, sitting close together, intimacy without sexual tones, and when Nick wrapped an arm around my shoulders, I didn't resist it. Instead I remembered something else.

It had snowed when we went ice-skating. A flash of this exact position with him, standing on ice-skates, as it snowed on us, and I was laughing because he had thought I'd be a worse ice-skater than him. He had been shocking and I had been good. Australia, I'd reminded him, as he clung onto me, had ice-skating rinks.

Then later he'd started to skate normally and I'd realised that he'd just been pretending to snuggle up. I hadn't minded at all back then, just like I didn't mind right now.

I stood there, frozen, as the arm closed around my shoulders, I didn't push him away, and he seemed to relax and lean in. Warmth flooded one side, even with the freezing wind dancing around us, the smell of snow, of ice, forest, and Nick, somehow merging to form such a comforting smell that I didn't want to move. My instincts growled 'stay put' and I stayed put. The tension from the day seemed to fade from his face further, and he resembled more of the man I'd met months ago on a plane, all flirt and jokes and silliness, instead of that strange intensity that he'd had all day.

"Australia has ice-skating rinks." I said, quietly, and his eyes snapped to mine with obvious surprise.

"Yes, a crazy Australian girl told me." Nick answered quietly He seemed to want to say something else but when he caught Elena staring at him, he relaxed, smiled a more natural smile, and added, "But does it have blizzards?"

"How fast do blizzards put snow down?" I was avoiding his face again, and Elena's face, looking around. Snow men. Could I build one? I might have to get some shoes on. Maybe some gloves. That wind was actually not as much fun as it had been a few minutes ago.

"Too fast for you. Blizzards aren't that fun, they just trap you inside for a while, cut off power, and make cooking difficult. Stay close to me, Aussie, you'll get cold otherwise. Although," His head ducked down, so that his cheek was brushing against mine, mouth against my ear, a husky whisper, "I could be shut away with you _and _Elena very happily."

A hand smacked against his head from behind at the same time I was stepping away from his suggestion, Elena's hand being the one to slap him, shaking her head at him. She was smiling, though she still fixed him with a look, like she was still trying to figure out what was going on with him.

"Shut away half a dozen other werewolves. In a house with only five bedrooms." Elena reminded him. "Or more. Christmas is going to be a little full."

"That's okay. I'll share my bed with the two of you." Nick slid closer again, hands reaching for Elena and myself at the same time, connecting with both. She let him draw her under one arm, so I decided to let him do the same with me, his arms wrapped around both of us.

"And Clayton?"

"I'm sure he can fit on the floor." Something else struck Nick then, a ball of snow and mud, thrown from the porch.

"Not if I've got anything to say about it." Clayton said, from the porch nearby, shaking his head. He also came out, passing Elena a jacket, hand moving to find hers in the cold weather. "Think Jeremy said something about a couch for you, Nick."

I shivered, despite myself, the wind actually very annoying now. Also, I realised, that blizzards and snow in general weren't as much fun in bare feet in this climate as it had been when it'd been snowing in Australia. Nick's arm tightened, letting go of Elena so that the other could also wrap around me, and I shivered again. That one wasn't so much about the cold though. Closeness like this, against a solid warm body, against a beating heart and a smell that my heightened scenes could detect so easily, this was a situation I wasn't usually familiar with but at the same time, there was this memory of this exact thing, with this exact same body, and it was so familiar. I was almost ready to stay there.

That was, until I caught Elena and Clayton's attention on us, and knew exactly how it looked. So I slid sideways as I shoved him back, ignoring Nick's protest about being freezing now, and glanced around. The snow was building up faster than I'd expected.

"Does it always snow like this?"

"Not usually this early but sometimes, yes. Climate change or something. We're prepared for it." Elena shrugged. "I better give Jamie a call and see where she is. She might have to wait it out."

She headed back inside, leaving the three of us standing there, Clayton's eyes still moving from Nick to myself.

I understood why when I felt hands sneaking up my old shirt, across my bare skin, lifting top to the cold snow.

"This is too thin, Aussie, and doesn't suit you at all. Jeremy sent me down to offer you a shower and some nice clothing." Nick's hands were trying to slide back over my waist, yank me back, hands finding hips. A warm body found my back. I didn't resist, even with Clayton's gaze, a chin resting down against my shoulder. "Guests first with the shower in case we loose the hot water during the blizzard. You better hurry before your feet freeze off."

"I don't mind." I was about to say I wanted to watch the snow a little longer, so fascinated by it, even with the freezing ass wind and the way it didn't feel quite as nice as it had before, and my feet were sort of hurting now. So I changed my mind. "Okay. Where is the shower?"

Nick hoisted me up, suddenly, as if he intended to carry me inside in his arms.

That was a bit too much. I pushed him backwards, a little harder than I intended, and he slid backwards a bit with a grunt of surprise surprise when a fist hit his chest, tripping over something and landing hard on his bum in the thin layer of snow.

Clayton laughed then, a laugh that shocked me and made Nick turn to look at him, shaking his head.

"Damn, Nick, rejected again." He grinned at Nick, moving forward to kick out at him, jumping backwards as Nick's answering kick almost reached a leg. "Jeremy's got us both on firewood, just in case we'll need more, so you want ice cream now or after we're done?"

"I have to show Anne where she's showering first."

"Now it is. Be quick, or you might find your ice-cream gone."

I was still a little stunned to see the mask Clayton had had vanish, so suddenly, hear a laugh that seemed so alien to the face he'd had since I'd arrived just a few hours ago. Deep down I suspected that meant he'd weighted me up and decided I wasn't a threat to him. Or was it to his pack? Nick grabbed my hand and I let him lead me across the frozen ground, behind Clayton.

Nick picked up a shopping bag near the kitchen, dropping his bowl and then led me up the stairs, a quick loping walk that I struggled to follow. When I was trailing behind, he hesitated, and retraced his steps a bit so that he was beside me instead of ahead. When he spoke, his voice was soft, and I remembered that Clayton had said something about twins being asleep.

"Your friend's in that room. That's Jeremy's room. Elena and Clayton's room. The twin's room. Elena's old room and now my room unless I get the couch." A soft growl, as if he still wasn't happy about that one, but there wasn't much he could do about it. "Elena is right, it might be a crowded few days."

"You can go for a day or two if you want." Jeremy stepped out of one of the doorways, voice also soft. His eyes shifted to me, gaze seeming to see more of me than I cared to let anyone, like he could read my thoughts. He probably couldn't but he had that sense about him, like he knew more than he let on. "Hi Anne. I'm sorry we haven't talked more but your friend's got a higher fever than I like. She'll be moved into Elena's old room after all- it's closer to us and warmer." He hesitated as if he wanted to say more but didn't. Glanced to Nick, who was still closer than usual to my side, hovering. "Your dad's going into town to meet up with Reece, they'll make sure Jamie gets here, then stay in town to watch out for any mutts that might be nosing around. You can stay in town if you'd prefer, might be more comfortable than the couch. There would be less snow to keep you crowded in."

"Where is Anne sleeping again?"

"The guest room. We're getting ready to move Pav when she's ready to walk."

Nick shook his head. Glanced at me. A grin had split across his face, as he snuggled closer to me, hands creeping up."I'll stick around. Sure there's room for me somewhere."

I pushed him backwards. He sighed.

"Clayton is eating your ice-cream, Nick." Jeremy said, suddenly, and Nick jumped. Priority changed, suddenly I was rushed into a shower, the bag of clothes, and Nick was gone. When I finished, I dressed in the clothing that wasn't exactly perfect a fit but it was warm and clean.

No one was outside so I walked down the hallway to see if Pav was in the guest room. She wasn't. Sheets were piled up beside the door, the bed stripped, and a new set were half folded and half falling apart, as if someone had tossed them onto the bed to make it later.

It was a bit cooler in here, as if the heater didn't quite reach it, the floor a bit colder on my bare feet. Outside in the dark, increased snowfall pressed against the window in the wind, reflecting the light of a green lamp, the sound of the wind filling every crack and hole in the house, eerie whistles giving me no illusion as to how strong the wind was starting to build.

I made the bed myself, enjoying every step of it, just being glad I could do something close to normal. I'd never been a domestic goddess, never been neat, but I had almost missed this. Being free to do things like clean the bed, wash dishes, have a shower, go to the toilet, even clean the bathroom. Nothing was dull after being in a cage for months.

I took my time now, smoothing the soft creamy coloured sheets, the dark green and brown covers, all earthy and with that smell of fresh linen that I'd always found so comforting as a child, admiring the pillowcases, just plain cotton cases with the slightest bit of embroidery to match the cover. Not girly, not fancy, just cotton and with the slightest bit of embroidery in the shape of leaves.

"Sorry, I was going to do that, but one of the twins woke..." Elena said from the doorway, as I was just finishing, her arms full of some kind of woollen blanket. Her hair was messy now, the simple jacket and pants with a stain from something that might have spilt across them, ponytail slightly crooked, a small tired smile on her face. "One wakes, both wake, they hear Jamie's coming tonight and ..." Another sigh, a shake of her head, before she pulled the blanket over the edge of the bed. "I suspect they'll be at the window waiting right now."

"I enjoyed this. I'd like to help."

Elena nodded. "Good, because I think we might need your help." Her head twitched up, hearing a sound only a fraction before I did, a wail that sounded like 'Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!' accompanied by what I assumed was small fists bashing against a glass window. "I'll have to say goodnight and get her before she tries to follow Clayton outside. I'll see you in the morning."

She was hurrying out before I could answer, the sound of little feet pelting down the hallway and stairs, Elena's voice trailing after her.

I sighed. Sat on the bed and stared at the wall. I wasn't tired, not even close, my entire body strung out and trying to stay awake. I wouldn't fall asleep like this though so, awkwardly, I stripped down as much as I dared and slid into the covers.

Sleep came with difficulty.


	3. Tangles

The first night sleep was broken by frequent panic attacks, scrabbling for the torch, and not much real chance to get any real rest. It didn't help that the blizzard outside was actually doing the things storms did- make a lot of noise, make branches fall off trees onto roof, make branches scrape against windows, and other scary noises. It probably also didn't help that I was still afraid of the dark after twenty years, but with a torch, I could pretend that wasn't an issue. Before I'd been taken it'd been difficult to explain it. I'd just been afraid of the dark and so didn't sleep in the dark. There was no logical reason to be afraid, to need to see the room as soon as I woke, just irrational fear that I kept at bay with a very soft light. When I was in the cell, the fear had gotten worse because it became a rational fear. When lights went off at night, which didn't happen every night, I never knew what the guards were going to do. I didn't know if my owner would show up, as he did, at two in the morning for another 'lesson'. A childhood fear of the dark mixed with a fear of real things lurking in the dark had not made it any easier.

So by the time morning had come I was exhausted and barely able to get out of bed. One look at me and Jeremy brought food up to me with an order to sleep longer. I didn't refuse the order or the food.

By the time I did get up it was late, I assumed, and I found the blizzard had snowed us in. A tree had fallen across the driveway, there was no power or heating except from the fireplace, and no phone lines. The storm wasn't as angry as it'd been the night before but it continued to make sure we remembered it was outside.

The house was empty all day. A note explained that they'd be having a private meeting and I was asked to stay out of the study unless there was an emergency with Pav. Even the twins were somehow kept upstairs, I occasionally saw Nick and Clayton swapping turns watching them, while I suspected Elena stayed in the study.

I suspected it was probably a meeting about what I'd spoken about. Probably not how to help me, I wasn't so egotistical as to think that I was more important than the threat itself, but the situation I'd escaped from was something that threatened them. They didn't even come out for lunch- apparently having already prepared it and left it in the study with them- only emerging when Elena had to ask me questions or clarify something. '

There was a lunch waiting for me in the kitchen. I went to take it out and made a sandwich out of it, warming the sandwich in the microwave. A small cough from behind me made me twist around to see Nick standing there.

"Can we talk?" He was trying to be relaxed and smile but somehow it wasn't working, his muscles tense, face struggling to keep the smile. A hand reached out, as if to grasp me, but he seemed to hesitate and pull it back at the last minute. "It's about the memories you've lost. I've only got a minute..."

Whatever it was, it was serious and I wasn't really ready for serious. The garage had been bad enough. Sliding into the table nearby I shook my head and turned my back on him to focus on lunch. This sandwich was going to need a knife and fork to consume it and full concentration. "No."

"Liz, ple-"

"Anne, remember, and we only knew each other a short time. I don't know what you're so worked up about." I turned my back on him to the plate in front of me. Cut it down the middle, watching beetroot ooze out, a tomato sliding sideways.

A hand came to yank the plate out from my grasp as I was going to pick up one half, Nick backing up, holding it.

"Looks good. Is that beetroot? Thanks, darling." Nick took a bite, eyes on me, and I found myself staring at his lips as he licked them. Shivered. I reached up to brush away a bit of tomato before I could stop myself, thumb brushing across his face, making his eyes widen, pupils dilate slightly. His scent filled my nostrils, the sense of closeness, of something important missing, that I even liked him being so damn close. Who wouldn't? He looked good, smelt good, even dressed good, I had the briefest desire to draw him. Controlled slipped for a second as Nick stepped forward, decreasing the distance between us, towering over my five feet and six inches, one of his hands reaching down to touch my face in return.

I was suddenly uncomfortable, by the look on his face, by the way he was bending downwards, mouth parting, like he was about to... so I grabbed for the lunch, distracting him, making him jump backwards. "That's my lunch."

"Talk to me and you can have it back." Nick stepped forward, I stepped backwards into a chair, and he towered back over me, one hand holding the plate out of reach, the other sneaking around waist. "Add a kiss and I'll make you another one."

I reached up, reaching up on tiptoes, face inches from him. It seemed to distract him, his arm lowering, mouth coming down. Just as he was about to get it onto mine, I slammed half the sandwich, beetroot and all off the plate onto his white shirt, and he jumped back with a yell of surprise.

"Damnit, do you have any idea how expensive it is to clean this brand?" Nick yanked the shirt off, dropping the plate onto the table, and I found myself inhaling sharply at _that_ sight. Not normally one who got ...interested... in men, even with shirts off, it wasn't a sight I was really that used to seeing, and suddenly I understood why women liked to see them like that. He turned to dunk his shirt in the sink, tipping water from a bottle on it, and my gaze followed it as if I'd never seen a half naked man in my life. The way it curved, every muscle outlined, the way they moved at the smallest of movements, the hem of his designer pants sitting exactly on his hips. Low enough for me to see the dark trail of hair from his bellybutton leading down.

I swallowed. Awareness and a curiosity making my cheeks flood with warmth. It was a shirtless man, nothing new, nothing special. Something had to be seriously wrong with me. I suddenly had to leave, lunch or no lunch, I was having the urge to stand behind him against the sink, run my fingers down that muscled back, down the spine, along his hips, and the mental image of him standing there, breathing hard, muscles reacting to touch, asking him what each one was and hearing him struggle to remember. He'd made up names. I'd felt so powerful, doing this to such a tall strong man, just by touching him with the lightest touch.

It wasn't just an urge. It was a memory. I'd cooked him a dinner and he'd offered to do dishes, shirt off to protect his expensive clothing, and I'd stood behind him, teasing him with my fingers, caught up in this emotion and pure trust that made no sense to me now.

I was already heading upstairs, ignoring him, leaving him with the lunch. I'd just eat lunch later when he was knee deep in twins. My stomach growled in protest but it was that or go back downstairs and I wasn't really ready to figure out what the hell I'd just remembered.

Jeremy had left a note on Pav's door, instructing no one but him to go in during the morning, so when I'd finished the lunch left for me in the fridge, I went in to see her.

She was asleep. Hollywood always showed sick people as looking glamours, hair brushed, skin still with some colour, like they'd had time to get some makeup and their hair done. Pav looked awful, her dark hair knotted, skin drained of almost all colour, and sweat glinting in the dim light. There was a rash too, spread out across her bare arms and up her neck. Hollywood also showed humans sitting beside the bedsides of their sick loved ones, quietly, not disturbing them, in some kind of constant vigilance that didn't disturb the sick one. I discovered that this didn't work for werewolves, apparently, because the second I'd tried to click the door shut, she'd woken with a panicked growl, sitting up, eyes wide. It only lasted for a moment before her body couldn't stay upright.

"Sorry Pav. It's just me." It reminded me that while humans tended to gather around the bedside of a sick person a dog or wolf pack didn't gather around their sick pack mate. When a dog or wolf was sick they'd be left alone and preferred it like that. I reached for the door handle. "I can leave if you need to rest."

"Stay." Her voice was soft, like she struggled, but her eyes locked into mine and I knew that she was as good as saying please.

I moved a chair closer to her and reached out to touch her hand. She flinched and shook her head, yanking her hand back. Then when she gestured to a glass of water I held it out, carefully tipping it into her mouth, which seemed to improve her ability to talk.

"Sorry. I just hurt. Touching isn't fun."

"Did Jeremy say what it was?"

"Syphilis." She winched at the word. "I must have had it before … before we were taken. For years. It came when I was weak."

I nodded and she sighed. Shut her eyes.

"I'm sorry... about Vi."

"Violetta knew I was sick. Made me leave. Not your fault." Pav's face twisted with grief, her fingers clenching. "I wanted to talk to you about that."

"We're going to get them all out."

"I know. When... you see her." Pav was reaching then, tugging something out of her pillow, the effort making her face drain further of blood. She pulled out a small folded piece of paper. "Give her this. The second you see her. It will calm her down."

I took it and saw, in neat english, the tiny words, 'to the love of my life and my wife- Violetta'.

"You were married?" I was surprised at that, it obvious in my voice. I hadn't realised earlier, assuming they were girlfriends only.

"Last year. Her family paid for the wedding." She smiled, looking better even without the sickness, as if the memory of it was helping her somehow. "Indian girl marrying a Russian girl. We know how strange it is."

"How did you meet?" I offered her more water, which she accepted, barely able to lift her head.

"Work. Nurses. We worked together." Pav's eyes opened then and she smiled, a small smile. Tired. But she didn't want to stop talking. "When we told them we were dating, both our families were so shocked that they disowned us. But when we told them we were getting married, Vi's family changed their mind and decided they wanted to pay for her wedding again. Mine didn't come. Didn't answer invites. Vi wants to try again, we were going to India to meet my family and have a Hindu wedding. They could come or ignore us. I wanted to give them the choice."

"Your mum didn't approve?" She'd told me that she was half Canadian, which was where her incredible eye colour had come from.

"She was the one most upset." Pav shut her eyes. Her breathing was faster, heart racing, the talking draining something in her. "Violetta forgave her."

"I'm sure your mother will love her."

"Vi is an angel. No." Pav laughed, or tried to, but it was just a soft exhale. "She is a warrior. My Russian angel with a tempter of a soldier. My mother will be scared of her. I hope I see the moment she meets my angel." Pav hesitated then, her heart fluttering, the smell of fear mingled with the sick weak scent her body gave off. I wondered if she was afraid then, afraid that she'd not live that long, even with being in a safe place.

"Of course you'll be there. With a camera."

Pav didn't answer. She kept her eyes shut, breathing in and out, tense. "My eyes are not working as much. Some people go blind with syphilis. Jeremy tells me I may be lucky but..."

"He seems to know what he's doing."

"I'm a nurse." Pav's smile tensed then. She didn't open her eyes again, just left them closed, sounding more weary by the second. "And now a sick werewolf in a world where the strong bully the weak. I know how it might go." Another pause, longer, as her breathing slowed. "Jeremy will contact the Russian pack for Vi. If I can, I'll go with her, but a werewolf who is part blind is not a strong pack member. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be a greater threat to her this way, now that we're targets..."

"They didn't want us to be strong. They made us weak. That's why you've got to find other ways to be strong." I wasn't sure why but I didn't want her to fall asleep with that idea in her head, that she might have to leave Vi, might be too weak, might even die... it didn't seem right.

That made Pav's eyes open and she found me with them, blinking. "What do you mean?"

"They wanted us weak. That's why they tried to ...they tried to make us like pets. Like slaves. I bet whoever thought he owned you liked the idea of you crawling behind him on a leash, half blind, sick and quiet."

Pav's mouth tensed, forehead crinkling, her mind working over this as fast as she could manage. Finally, "I wondered why they didn't treat me but treated Vi when I got sick. The doctors knew what it was. As long as she was healthy they knew I'd do anything to keep her that way." The thought seemed to have put some fire back in her eyes, more than I'd seen her before, as she tried to think this over.

"Even injured wolves find ways to be strong. In different ways. You made it this far, so you're stronger than they expected." I wasn't entirely sure that was right, of course, having had no real experience with wolves. But I knew dogs and knew that they were able to compensate. This didn't matter though. What mattered was that she had something else to think about besides being weak.

"I'm tired. Can you shut that window on your way out?" Pav turned her back on me then, dismissive, voice with the slightest tremor.

"All right. Have a good sleep." I stood up and shut it, before sliding out of the room. The clean smell of the hallway, compared to the smell of Pav's room, stenching of sickness, disease and uncleanliness, was welcome but I wished I could do something more for her.

Without knowing what to do I just had to follow her wishes and leave her alone.

It wasn't long after that when I was brought in and asked to describe the journey for Jeremy, Clayton, and Elena. To my surprise they weren't alone in there now. Antonio was there with Nick and another young man. After a brief introduction- it was Reece, the Australian- I got on with it.

I struggled to describe it. It had been night when we'd escaped, in the middle of no where in a foreign land, and we'd both ran. Well, we'd tried, Pav had been sick and got worse the longer she tried. There'd been an attempt to get onto a train into a big town. It had been a disaster- trains and panicked werewolves didn't mix- but Pav was sick and I made myself focus on her. Then we'd hired a cheap car, broken the GPS tracker off it, stuck it to another car, then drove. I hadn't known how to drive, but Pav did, and with her instructions and my desire to survive outweighing my good sense about driving a car for the first time, I learnt pretty fast how to drive, speed and get completely lost with ease.

Pav had been too sick to care about being in in a car for so long, too sick to notice how often I got lost, and when she found out how long I had been lost, she'd suggested buying a map. I'd been so focused on surviving, so focused on escaping, that the idea just hadn't occurred to me. New York was in that direction, another big city was in another direction, but I went for New York. Maybe it was because it was the closest big city, maybe it was because it was slightly familiar to me, I didn't know, but I reasoned that big cities were full of people, smells, and ways to avoid being noticed.

After telling them all I could offer, Elena gave me an early present- art materials- and I was dismissed as politely as possible. With something to do now I headed upstairs, checking on Pav for the fifteenth time who was in a deep easy sleep, before heading to my own room. I started a new mandala. Why, I didn't know, but I liked them. They were always so symbolic, like visual diaries of what was going on, and it had always helped me express how I felt without having to really think about it. This one wasn't exactly light and fluffy either, with chains, footsteps, snow, drops of water, roses, dragonflies, and the Tasmanian tiger pacing around the outside. Anyone seeing it might have thought I was disturbed but the more I drew it, the less I felt emotional and upset about what I'd just had to do.

I wasn't alone for long however.

"G'day." The corny word, complete with the accent that made Americans wet themselves, came from the doorway. I glanced up to see Reece standing there

"Um, G'day." It was, of course, not how Australians usually addressed each other no matter what the movies said. But it was amusing.

"Looks good." Reece came to stand beside me, glancing over my shoulder, taking in what I'd been sketching. "You're an artist?"

"Not really. I just enjoy it." I turned around to look at him properly now. He was the kind of Australian that Americans dreamed of. Tanned, muscular, blonde, confidant grin, the kind of Australian who I could picture leaping onto a crocodile with all the idiocy and confidence that the crocodile hunter had. He had the accent for it too so had to have come from north somewhere, in the hotter areas, somewhere more country. "How are you finding the snow?"

"Eh, it's not that special. I don't get what people like about it." Reece tugged the bed across the room as if it was as light as a chair and sat on it. "Don't let me distract you from that, it's looking good. I thought you might like a snack." Reece held out a plate. On it was toast with something black and golden on it. Vegemite with lots of butter. When my face lit up he grinned, sticking it on the table, and grabbing a slice for himself. "I can relax here while you draw if you want to finish it."

That wasn't exactly easy, particularly as a third person was now in the picture. I couldn't see him but I could smell him. Nick was in the hallway outside listening. When I didn't draw and turned my head towards the door slightly, Reece turned his attention there as well.

"Oh, hey Nick. You coming in too?"

Nick moved forward as he was addressed, standing in the doorway. "Yeah." He glanced back though, presumably towards the children's room where he was supposed to be, the sound of happy playing and voices drifting out of a partially closed door. Then he shrugged and went to sit down on the bed between us and his eyes moving to me. "I'll stay for a while."

"You don't have to stay in my room. I'm sure you're supposed to be with the twins."

"I'll keep an ear on them." Nick twisted towards Reece, blocking off any other attempt at my suggestions of how the hell he could get out of my room. "How you doing?"

"Fantastic. All ready for the Christmas feast."

"Anne's helping cook it this year. She's a good cook." Nick's attention turned back to me then. He was grinning but there it was again, that intensity, and it reminded me of earlier in the kitchen. The memory of what I'd done with him after I'd cooked. When my eyes connected with his, he added, tongue darting over his lips, "I'll clean up again."

"You? Clean?" Reece laughed and elbowed Nick, nearly knocking him off the bed, Reece shook his head. "Must be a good cook if you can get Nick to clean. When I was living with him he'd always vanish around that time into a shower or out the door for a manicure."

"That'd be right." I muttered. Nick was gorgeous but I doubted it was purely natural good looks. He was always so well... maintained.

"I don't get manicures. Massages, however, I'm not too proud to pass up." Nick was shoving back at Reece now, playful, the two of them half wrestling as if they were trying to shove each other off the side of the bed.

"So where are you from, Anne?" Reece called, as he struggled with the older werewolf, his face red and covered in a big grin. "The desert as well? Endless heat, crocodiles, and kangaroos for a pet? Bet you miss that outback."

"From Brisbane but I was born in Melbourne. Didn't like Brisbane much though. It was always so humid. I liked the cold winters and the hot summers. Change. I kind of like the snow."

"I agree with you there. Hated how humid the city towns were up north. Couldn't understand how everyone was moving there and tolerating the humidity day after day. Still, this kind of snow gets old very fast." Reece relaxed for a fraction as he made a grab for the plate full of vegemite toast. e Nick pitched him off the side of the bed with a sudden shove. I ignored Nick, which was hard, because he'd stood up to cheer himself on with silent hand gestures.

"Aww, come on, no kiss for the winner?" He came up behind me, close, too close.

I slid off my chair and sat on the bed beside Reece. "They tolerate it because of air conditioning."

Reece snorted. Nodded. Grabbed a half slice of toast and answered as he chowed it down. "I loved the heat but it was like where you were, I think, we had freezing winters too. Not snow like here but good enough. Frost, freezing rain, going below zero some nights, fogs lasting for days sometimes... not exactly what Americans picture the Australian country being like but..."

"They think Australia's all desert."

Reece laughed, nodded again, as he went to take a bite of his toast, nearly half of it vanishing. "More like dust. Dust everywhere. And a lot of bush. You have no idea how many tourists got lost in the national forest near us, thinking they'd go for a good old hike, wear expensive gear, boast about how many places they'd go hiking... and we- I was in the SES for a while as a teenager- would get a call from their mates about ten pm saying they still hadn't come back. So we'd be off. Dad would shake his head, mum would pretend to fight a little while but she loved that I wasn't into the booze like my mat-"

He cut off suddenly, eyes suddenly feeling with an intense emotion that Reece directed towards his plate instead. "Well you know. Tourists just don't get Australia."

Nick shifted forward to take a slice of the toast, sniffing it suspiciously.

I nodded, not asking what had flashed in his eyes, letting him decide. I didn't know anything about his history, just that it'd led him to America and involved the cutting off of finger joints somewhere along the way. "Do you want to go back?" I asked, taking my drink and sipping it, sighing softly at the taste of the tea.

Reece shook his head. "No."

"I was thinking aft-"

"No." He cut me off sharply, eyes finally coming up from his plate to me, face going hard. Reece caught my surprise and went a bit red. Relaxed slightly. "No, you won't want to go back either. Not all packs are like Jeremy's pack. I don't know what happened to you here but over there it would be another kind of hell."

"Why? They don't even have to pay attention to me." I knew I was kidding myself. Now that I was aware of the female werewolf rarity, that it made us into some kind of walking viagra that had breasts and a vagina added, I knew that wherever I went there'd eventually be some sort of attention. Not exactly a reality that I wanted to admit or face. Attention was never something I craved, nor notority, or any kind of fame whatsoever. "I could sneak in."

"They'll pay attention to you the second you're on the plane for Australia. That pack is bad news." Reece's face was still tense, stressed, like this was important for him to get across, so important to keep me from trying it. "Stay here with Jeremy's pack for now."

"I wasn't really planning on going anywhere. I just miss it."

Reece's face finally relaxed. He leaned back, exhaling slowly, face full of that earlier emotion that he'd had when he cut himself off. "Yeah. Me too."

Nick had been watching the two of us, the toast forgotten in his hand, but he blinked and stared back down at his hand. Sniffed the toast. And had a bite. He made a face and grabbed the entire plate. Before either of us could move to stop him, he'd yanked the window open, cracking ice and sending a wail of snow filled wind into the room, pitching the entire thing out the window, plate, toast and all.

"Poison! You trying to poison my woman, Reece?" He laughed, wrenching the window back down, ducking out of the way as Reece came charging too late to save the toast.

"I'm not your woman." I muttered, my face going red at his description.

"Poison? You're going mad in your old age, Nick." Reece teased, but his eyes were on the poor abandoned plate outside, already getting covered in snow. "Shit. I'll make some more, Anne, don't worry. Lots of vegemite. I figured you might miss it."

"Not if I find it and destroy it." Nick was already racing into the hallway, Reece behind him, apparently heading downstairs for wherever Reece had kept it.

I didn't see either of them again though. Jeremy called them back in, I heard him even from here, heard the car start up outside in the snow, and went to the window to see Antonio and Reece clearing ice and snow off the car. Reece glanced up and waved. Then his face froze, and he slid into the car with an awkward smile.

Hands yanked me back away from the window. I fell into a lap, arms waiting to capture me, Nicks arms tightening the second I landed there.

"Nick, let go of me."

"We _need_ to talk." A call from outside made Nick stiffen. I stood up as soon as the arms let go and stepped out of his waybut I didn't kid myself. It wasn't because I'd told him to. Jeremy had called and Nick wasn't going to ignore him. "I'll talk to you tonight."

The second night and the third day were even quieter than the day before. No sleep and no power. We had meals together, this time, but Jeremy was either in the study with Elena or upstairs with Pav. Elena was in the study almost all the time, usually with Nick or Clayton, the twins getting a brief moment to bombard me with questions. I lost their interest though when I didn't appear to have any presents for them. That didn't bother me so much, I had nephews who were the same, and spent most of the time painting.

Pav slept. I checked on her several times but when I woke her both times I knew that it was better if I stayed away for a while. She looked better, sort of, with more color, but still seemed unable to talk much. Always looked so tired and weak.

I still couldn't change. It was too early, my body refused, and I had to keep reassuring everyone that I would tell them when it was time. If I knew how my body worked though, it would be soon, maybe the next day. Yes, I knew there were children in the house, and no, I would never do anything to put them at risk. Elena was satisfied when I told her that I had nephews of my own, even one the age of her children, and had used to care for them for my sister while she was away on work.

After dinner on the third day there, Jeremy finally sat down with me in my dim room, looking tired. He admired the paintings at first, though I suspected it was hard to see much in the light of the little light I had to use without power, suspected it was more politeness than anything, because he was quick to get to business."We've agreed that you're allowed to remain here, and become apart of the pack after a few months if we're satisfied you're able to control yourself. Your skills as a hypnotherapist is pretty unique. A few of us are skeptical about how well it'd work but there'll be chances to use it and show us. But first, answer this question truthfully without feeling we'll reject you based on an answer." He hesitated at my 'oh shit' face. "I won't share what you tell with me. Anne, have you ever killed or hunted humans?"

I nodded, my eyes dropping to my feet, a mixture of guilt and pride swirling around in a bizarre mix. Human and wolf, feeling guilt and pride, one half of me loathing the idea of murder, the other half so damn proud of surviving that it couldn't understand what was wrong with me. "There were no witnesses to our escape in the place they kept us. I had to hunt so we weren't hunted too early."

I didn't admit that I'd enjoyed it. Was that sick? Twisted? Yep. They weren't all bad people, I was sure of that, I was sure that they had families and loved ones waiting for them this christmas. I didn't know what else I could have done. Lock them in the freezer with the dead girls? How could I even get them in there?

I'd expected Jeremy to comment on it, comment on the fact that I had murdered people, but he continued smoothly, as if I'd not said anything, "We hunt animals as a pack, we'll teach you how, and in return, you'll be expected to work with the pack. No human kills unless I give the word ahead. I believe your hypnotherapy will be a unique skill and valuable- afterwords, I'd like you to finish your studies and do additional training in that area- but Antonio has offered you work in his company as well. There are a number of ways you'll be able to assist the pack and find a place here. You've been truthful and we appreciate that."

"I don't mind working. But what's happening with ...the rest of it?"

Jeremy sighed and leaned back against the wall. "The power's been out and so there's been some trouble using resources to follow your trail with the computer. We're working on tracing your steps using maps for the time being. Tomorrow, you'll be looking at files of mutts with Elena. No mutt has traced you back this far, according to Antonio and Reece, at least not to the town. Another pack member has made it to New York and reports that there's a few mutts there, with no proof of if they're connected to each other or not, and they didn't seem to get far with your trails there. The weather was on your side that day."

"What else can I do?" I hated to ask, they were so good to me, but I hated sitting helpless too. I was healing. I could fight too, couldn't I? "I want to help stop it."

Jeremy blinked and smiled. "We'll need you help in the kitchen cook on Christmas day. I'm guessing that isn't what you mean though. For the moment, nothing, except look at photos with Elena."

"I can't be apart of the fight? Or-" I hesitated, trying to think of things that meant activity. Movement. "-Or maybe watch out for mutts on patrol?" I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, even as I asked that, wondering when I'd become such a damn action junkie. But something deep inside, maybe the wolf, was pacing. Demanding to get in there, sink claws in, and fight. Sitting was fine while healing but I felt restless.

Jeremy's face lost the smile somewhat, before he answered, sterner, more alpha than friendly host. "No. You're so newly bitten, we're not sure how you'll be as a fighter. I have to make sure that my pack are able to defend themselves without worrying about defending someone else as well. I do hear that you want to help though and I _will_ find you things to do that's more involved."

"Okay." How could I argue with that? I couldn't. I didn't want to put people at risk by being weak either.

"Tomorrow night, you'll be in the cage, and we'll wait for you to change and then take you outside for your first run."

"I might not be ready." It was likely that I would be, it had been long enough, but there was this sudden anxiety about it. I could picture myself there, trying to change, spending hours just kneeling, while they waited... what if I didn't manage it?

"I know but we'll try anyway. We can all change at will here, usually, not just when our body's asking us, so it might be a good thing to learn to do. If you manage it, I'll lead you on a run and a hunt with the full pack, celebrate your first chance to stretch your legs."

"A run in the snow?" I felt my mood lift at that idea. My hands trembled. A run. I had never been able to leave a cage at a wolf, never, or run in open forests or... "And a hunt? Really?"

"You'll have to pass a test first but yes." Jeremy's face, which had gotten tenser with my desire to fight, relaxed. I had the feeling he was almost looking forward to that- taking the young new wolf out for her first real hunt.

"What test?"

"Dominance test. You need to show us you're able to accept the alpha as a wolf." Jeremy's head twitched then, his eyes widening, a warm smile on his face, but his attention had gone from me to the window beside me. "I have confidence that you'll do fine with that one, you're not exactly like ...well, most male werewolves do have ego issues. Dominance issues. We'll also have to test your leg- see if that hip hampers your ability to hunt and run. Oh... Excuse me..."

There was the slam of a car door, startling me, but he must have heard the car pull up.

Jeremy stood back up. Somehow he looked restless suddenly, like he was trying to be polite and fight some urge to leave in a hurry. He smiled again, fingers tapping against his leg, and tried , "Jamie's here. I'd introduce you now but from the sounds of things, she's tired, and after spending all that time in an airport snowed in... I'll introduce you both in the morning when she's rested. Goodnight, Anne."

He hurried out. I went to stand at the window, watching the driveway, as Antonio and Reece slid out of the car, a woman already standing there, struggling to stand as a pair of five year old kids latched themselves to her and her bag. There was the flash of bright wrapping paper, a squeal of triumph, and Katherine had sped off with a bright present, her brother fast behind her with his own, though he seemed to glance backwards and falter at Antonio's expression.

Katherine just kept going, behind the house, Elena in hot pursuit, a trail of red and yellow wrapping paper bright in the snow behind her glinting in the porch light.

They moved inside. I felt tempted almost to go downstairs, join in the laughter and voices, but felt a little like an outsider suddenly. They clearly knew each other and I was a stranger. So, even though I knew I wouldn't sleep again, I got ready for bed and climbed in, trying to sleep.

Maybe it was exhaustion from the previous two nights but somehow I did sleep now. So when I felt something wake me, be it a rush of cold air, a sudden shift in the bed's springs, maybe a noise, it didn't matter how asleep I was, I swore at them as loudly as my sleepy brain could manage.

Halfway through the verbal attack it got cut off with a hand against my mouth.

"Shh, I don't want to wake the children. Elena will skin us both alive." Nick hissed. "Where'd a nice little werewolf learn a word like that?"

"What time is..." I slid up onto one elbow to blink at the bedside clock only to remember that it hadn't been working for two nights now. The light was from a lit flashlight that'd been abandoned beside it and that was now pointing at the wall. I blinked owlishly, trying to shake the dreams out of my head, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. "I should have locked that damn door again."

The house was dead quiet now, the storm outside apparently haven gotten worse again, the sound of winds and branches filling the space outside the window. That would explain the sounds outside. Inside, with a hand still against my mouth, Nick was lying there. In my bed.

Nick's skin was freezing, I thought with annoyance, as I felt a bare leg brush against mine, and then an arm, then the thought that maybe there was a little too much skin woke me up more effectively than he had. What was he doing here? "Don't you wear pyjamas?"

"Yes. See?" Nick lifted up the sheets, I wished he hadn't, to show off some flimsy looking boxers.

"Why are you in my bed?" I hissed softly, tense and ready to climb out the other side. He yanked at me, tugging me closer, and pulled the covers over my half, blocking an exit with one of his arms.

"I'm freezing out there and Reece snores." He whispered shifting sideways against me, till I was pinned between body and arm. "Can we talk?"

"Now? Here?" I slid backwards, as if to sit up. Instead, I managed to get one leg out, deciding that whatever talking could wait. Just had to get out …

"I didn't want to have to do this but..." Nick yanked at my legs, dragging me back down, so that he could lean over me, strong arms holding my arms down, keeping a distance but also keeping enough weight to have me pinned fairly securely. "You keep running off and I want to talk to you."

"About what? What couldn't wait till tomorrow morning?" I whispered, trying to stay quiet, but was starting to feel sorely tempted to 'accidentally' yell.

"How you're going to earn this back." He smiled, small tense smile, like he was trying to joke and was struggling at knowing how. Or maybe he was concerned I'd run, because I wasn't exactly relaxed, my mind weighing up choices for getting him out of the bed that weren't loud. Nick let go of one of my arms and reached for the bedside table on his side. He picked something up I hadn't seen in the darkness, something he'd probably brought with him, and leaned back onto one arm, body still half pinning me there.

I could see it in the dim light and blinked at it, trying to figure it out. It was a green crown of some kind, at least I assumed it was green, it was a similar colour to the bed. A statue of liberty crown?

"That's it? You're half naked in my bed to give me that?" I yawned, shaking my head, not sure what the hell he was on about.

"I've decided that you're not getting any special treatment now. You're getting exactly the same treatment as when I met you. I saw your face when you saw snow. It was exactly the same face as when you saw the giant green French statue. " His voice soft, focused, eyes boring down at me through the dim light. "When you had your first kiss. Same expression, all wonder, innocence, and curiosity. There's nothing wrong with still being the same person."

"I'm not the same person and I've never kissed anyone, Nick." Another yawn. I said it with as much confidence as I'd been able to muster but the truth was, I wasn't even sure of that anymore. Was I the same person? Wasn't I? How could I be the same person when I couldn't remember what he could? This entire line of thought was far too deep for this time of the night. "Nick, I'm tired, I need to sleep."

Nick's face darkened. Suddenly his lips were against mine, weight pressing down on me, ignoring my noise of protest as a hand let go of a hand to cup my face. The smell he had washed over me, free of chemicals, and I had the fleeting flash of this exact same situation. On a boat. Before he gave me the crown. A kiss for the Queen, he'd said, if she'd allow. He had been cheesy, stupid, and I hadn't been able to resist with people watching, laughing, encouraging me to let him in their American accents, not caring if it was a private moment or not.

So I'd let him, to the delight of the observers, and it had been not exactly like this one. Then it'd been gentler, calmer, but he'd smelt the same. I had been kissed before, my first kiss on a boat in New York, with some guy I'd met on a plane, and it had blown my mind, embarrassed the hell out of me when I realised I didn't know how to kiss, embarrassing myself by tripping over myself to apologise for not knowing how to kiss. Nick had blown my mind again when he'd decided that, as part of my New York experience, he'd teach me.

Everywhere.

God god, I remembered it, flashes of it. Sudden kisses, he took delight in surprising me with them, pinned against things, or where I'd finally fallen on the ice-skating rink, and he'd bent down apparently to help me up, delighting in both the kiss and the fact that I'd finally fallen over. He would grin with a proud satisfied grin, every time he achieved that look of wonder, and it had provoked him into taking me into all kinds of places. That was why he'd invited me to the bar. Wanted me to experience something else new.

Now he was doing it again, this time in a dark room, pressed down on top of me, and I seemed to remember how to do it. Mouth opening, his breathing hitching as it did, weight increasing as he seemed to shift and increase how much of his body was on top of me. Heat, arousal, wonder, the emotions that I'd felt all that time ago, my cheeks going red. I hissed in pain suddenly, remembering, coming back to my senses. He didn't seem to notice, his breathing faster, a hand sliding across my bare waist, tickling it.

I bit his lip hard and he jerked back, breathing fast, confused. Then he grinned. A real genuine smile, with a hint of teasing in it, but no malice or scorn, and I could smell something new in him. Something that made me feel afraid, slightly, nervous, innocent and somehow so damn powerful. I was terrified to feel that emotion again, so raw, so dangerous. I wanted to hit him and kick him and make him bleed for making me feel so vulnerable.

"I'm going to kick the ass of whoever lost your memories." Nick muttered as he leaned back onto his side. "We have a great four days and you forget it."

"I ...we _kissed_?" I swallowed, my mouth swollon, licking my lips as I tried to get over this new memory. I rubbed my forehead in an attempt to ...what, wake up my brain or something? Having a flood of memories like that was a bit of an overload without Nick adding to it. We kissed, yes, but I'd also remembered something else unrelated to him. I had this vague memory of walking through some street in New York, exploring, looking at something. A red bus of some kind maybe. Or was I looking for some Australian bar? Was it two memories? I rubbed my forehead again and shook my head slightly. Dozens of kisses and two unrelated memories. There was this sense that I still couldn't quite remember it all though. Like there was stuff still there, still just beyond my grasp, memories that were hidden behind more dams.

"I think you better tell me what else we got up to. I can't take many more surprises."

"That's the plan. Just lie still and... " His nostrils flared, as he shifted closer, as if he'd suddenly smelt something. Nick's face lit up in a grin as he moved closer. "What's that smell?"

My face went bright red as he moved back over me, sending anticipation and heart flooding back down again, just the simple sensation of being weighed down enough to trigger it. I wasn't sure why. Nick breathed me in, his eyes caught up in the smell, clearly very aware of what kind of state the kiss had left my body in. I flinched when I felt his hand slide up one of my thighs, pushing them aprt, hearing a low growl in his throat as he reached the curve where hip met thigh. As the smell of arousal from my body drifted up under the blanket. I stiffened, fear suddenly rearing, I was so vulnerable, so exposed, I pushed at him hard. Nick hesitated, before he shifted back off me and lay back down on the side he'd claimed earlier. Nick shook his head like he was shaking the smell out, his own body trembling now and glinting in the flashlight was the slightest sweat on his tanned skin. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"I don't..."

"Do that. So you keep telling me." He sighed, like he wanted to say something else, but instead Nick held exhaled and moved back a fraction. "I still haven't told _you_ what you need to remember. Let me stay here. I'll tell you in the morning."

"So you can start again?"

"I'm not going to force you to do anything." He growled again, angry, and there was a sudden rip and explosion of feathers. I flinched at that, at the anger, which made Nick flinch as well. The look on his face was the uglest thing I'd ever seen. I didn't want to see him angry like that. Smiles suited him. Jokes. Flirting. Not anger. Nick held up the doona and stared at the little feathers that were now raining down from inside. "Ah, shit. Jeremy'll kill me for that. Sorry. I'm not angry with you. You don't have to let me do anything. I'm angry that they've fucked you up like this... you were so trusting when I knew you. Now I can't even..."

"Touch me?" Some part of me had wanted him to. What part? I didn't know this part. It was the strangest sensation- like I was being hijacked by a different person- but the fear of being so soft, so vulnerable, it was overwhelming any urge to be touched.

"Tell me what you wanted to tell me. Then you can go." I muttered. I wanted him out of my bed and it wasn't just because there was anger there. Every second he stayed was a bit less resistance to keeping him there.

"I'm staying with you. Maybe you'll sleep if I do." Nick shifted up to lean closer, tugging the untorn part over my side. He smiled then, a small warm smile. Inched closer, till his mouth was near my shoulder, a fraction off, inhaling as his mouth brushed against my cheek. "Still afraid of the dark, little Australian?"

I growled, anger and surprise that he even knew that, so I bit his shoulder. Hard. It was the closest thing. I twisted, biting his shoulder hard as it came within a close distance, refusing to admit being innocent or vulnerable. How the hell did he know I was afraid of the dark? I didn't tell anyone that. And how dare he tease me about it! I tasted blood suddenly, heard him exhale and groan, and let go as I realised I may have bitten just a little _too_ hard. Nick stiffening above me, mouth brushing against my shoulder, and when my lips traced across the bleeding spot, he didn't seem to be able to stop himself. I was pinned suddenly, hands tugging my legs over his hips, Nick's mouth nipping and kissing my neck as his hands tried to push the long top's neckline out of his way without success. When he kissed me again I found myself kissing back with equal strength, resistance fading futher, a sense of being here before. Under him. Being kissed like this. I didn't want to stop him.

My mouth opened. Nick opened his eyes, stared down at me, and shuddered. His mouth came down on mine but it wasn't the hard crushing kiss like before, it was gentle, tongue coming to meet mine, a hand cupping my face. How I knew how to do this, I had no idea, but I did and it felt good. My body relaxed under his.

Nick growled, heavy body shifting on me, and the kiss grew harder. His hips found mine, grinding gently against the softness between my legs, boxers not leaving much to the imagination.

I shoved him back up, off me, and he blinked down at me, still grinding his hips into me again and again, my mouth opening as an involuntary sound came from deep in my throat, something that resembled a groan and a moan, maybe. My hands were clenched around his arms, nails digging into him, and I tried to tell him that this was stupid. Instead, there was another sound, another moan, as hardness ground against me, reminding my body how empty it was starting to feel suddenly. Panic too, just a flicker of it, and Nick blinked at me.

Nick shifted, suddenly, rolling back and yanking me with him. I was suddenly on top of him, my legs on either side of his, staring down at him. It killed the panic. I was on top, I was in charge, and he held me there with gentle hands that would probably let me move off him if I wanted. I could feel it, feel his hardness, I was literally sitting on top of it under those boxers. I was a virgin though. Wasn't I? I could picture it. How could I picture it?

"I thought you said you wouldn't start again." I muttered, staring down at him, face filled with warmth, breathing hard in an attempt to get some sort of oxygen back inside my body.

Nick's hands slid up my legs, my bare legs, gazing up at me without bothering to conceal his lust, fingers slipping under the waistband of my panties at my hips. "_You_ started it this time. You bit me."

"Bites turn you on?" I was trying to tease him but my voice was husky, and it made him grin wider. I swallowed and tried to speak again. "I mean, I wasn't really thinking about that..."

"Uh huh." Nick's fingers danced on my thighs. Suddenly his hips ground upwards, hands tighening on my thighs suddenly so I didn't fall, his eyes fixed in mine. Watching me as I exhaled in a soft moan, watched my face as I felt him rub against me, and I still didn't feel panic or fear. "Had any new memories yet?"

"No." I didn't but at the same time didn't this feel familiar? This ache, this warmth? I was confused. I had meant every word I'd said to Antonio in the car about sex. Every damn word. Yet here I was, and that side of me that wasn't human was not understanding what was wrong with me, it wanted me right here. On top of Nick. Like this was the most natural thing in the world to want. He wasn't going to hurt me, he wasn't going to use me, and even if he wasn't married to me, somehow that wolf instinct didn't seem to care. Marriage? What was that anyway? Did it even really matter?

Nick continued to move his hips up against my hips as I stared at him, eyes still locked in mine, clearly enjoying the look on my face everytime his hardness rubbed against the sensitive areas of my body. One of his hands let go of my thighs and went to trail up my stomach. I let it. "Do you remember anything yet?"

"Still no." I trembled. I did remember, then, suddenly. Kneeling over him in the dark, so naked, as he explored and teased my breasts, his private lesson in why men liked them so much. Why he liked my curves so much. My face flooded with heat at the memory. What had we done together before all of this?

Nick suddenly rolled me back over in a small explosion of feathers, his heavy body between my legs again, he slid backwards so his head was against my stomach, my long tshirt pushed up by the hand that'd been there. One of his hands slid down my side, along my curved hip, and under my thigh. "You're going to send me mad with that smell. Don't you remember yet?" He inhaled, deep, fingers digging into my thighs hard as he smelt my arousal.

"Nick, I..."

"Don't you remember this part as well? Fuck, your smell is incredible." Nick's head was lowering, brushing across my stomach, a hand yanking the long tshirt up till it was bunched under my breasts, other running back up along the inside of my thigh. I remembered him stating how he loved my curves. How good I looked with or without clothing, how I could give shape to everything, and he'd bought me expensive clothing that only enhanced it all. I hadn't known it was expensive clothing until I'd found a price tag he'd accidently left on one of the skirts.

My eyes widened as I felt a tongue, sudden, firm, taste my skin along my stomach.

"That's the werewolf smell." My hands clenched on the bed a moment, before I had the sense to try and grasp him, tug him away from where he was inching to, his mouth tasting the skin lower and lower. Tried to get some sense of self-control back. It really wasn't working that well.

"No. This smell was around before you were bitten. Drove me crazy the second you sat next to me on the plane." He stopped, as if marking the spot, fingers stopping where they'd slid, almost touching my sensitive skin down there, almost. And I almost wished he would, it throbbed, I wanted to touch it myself. Hands paused on my hips. I felt something rip then. Saw my panties lifted up, no more than scraps of fabric now, as he grinned. "Remember anything new? You always seemed to lose these."

"No...I don't remember." I shuddered, embarrassment, trying to clsoe my legs. Nick's legs were in the way and he moved forward, arms wrapping around my back, pulling me up against his chest. Hips ground against me again. I moaned as he did, making him chuckle. "Do you remember this?"

"No..." I groaned, feeling his erection very clearly now, very aware of where exactly it belonged. Belonged? What kind of word was that? But I was empty and 'belonged' seemed like the only word suitable. "I don't remember."

"Do you want to remember?" His nips were starting again, along my neck, hips grinding against mine in slow torturing rhythms. "Do you want me to show you?"

"Yes." I moaned that word, face going red with embarrassment at the sound I'd made, but I was so damn turned on now. My hips throbbed, body screaming for him to do something other than tease, and even the human side had been quieted. Whatever I'd forgotten ,whatever he'd done with me, I wanted to remember it. It wasn't fair that he got it alone. "I want to remember."

Nick's breath hitched, as he stared at me, hesitating a moment as if he wasn't quite sure he'd heard me right. Slowly, eyes still on me, he shifted back to slide his boxers down. I didn't stop him.

Nick slid back upwards, a leg kicking the black things out from the side of the bed, mouth against my ear. "This is what I wanted to tell you. I was your first..." I felt it then, his erection, as his hands moved my legs into the right position, it prodding against my thigh for a moment, and then against the soft space between my legs, so damp now and hot, and so damn sensitive to everything that touched it. "They didn't get anything. You were mine _before_ they took you."

He thrust into me then, groaning, his eyes shutting. My body stretched with a kind of agony that made me gasp and claw against him, made me feel some part of me sigh with relief, embracing his body, welcoming it. There was no pain, like I'd thought, there was no virginity, just this vague deja vu and a sense of satisfaction, every instinct urging me to give in. I gave in.

He waited though, watching me, waiting for me to get angry or to protest. When I didn't, Nick started to thrust, his thrusts hard and fast, like he'd used up any self control he'd managed to save, mouth coming to crash down on mine and kiss me hard.

Somehow our bodies found a rhythm easily, my arms wrapped around his back, clawing at it, soft growls and moans from both of us, pleasure and heat and need building in such a sweet agonising way that I was almost pleading for him, almost, to keep it up. Hands yanked my legs up higher, his body driving deeper still, the doona falling off the bed and off us and leaving a trail of feathers that stuck to our bodies. Teeth found my skin, his bite rough, and I bit him back. It made him shudder with delight.

I opened my eyes and found him watching me, face filled with something so beautiful and ...well, sexy... that I had to stare, had to watch him, which seemed to turn him on more, his eyes catching mine in the dark. Then I felt something in my body give, a flood of pleasure and heat throughout my hips and belly, voice echoing it as he bent down to kiss me hard, capturing my moans in his mouth. He shuddered suddenly, stiffening, and I felt something hot released deep inside my belly, right in the middle of my own orgasm, his groan muffled by our mouths pressed against each other.

Nick collapsed on top of me, breathing hard, as if he needed to get his breath back a moment. I lay there dazed, breathing still fast, the throbbing pleasure still there as it faded away in slow waves.

I must have fallen asleep because when he moved, some time later, I woke, feeling startled at the sense of cold air suddenly replacing where his warm body had been. Nick tugged the blanket off the ground and pulled it back across the two of us, his boxers still off, sliding up to one of my sides. When he went to tug my tshirt off, I let him, sliding upwards and falling back onto the bed.

"Does this mean I can take you on dates again and talk to you?" Nick's fingers traced my breasts, exploring them, mouth against my shoulder.

"I think this means you've got no choice." I replied, face flushing as I felt a hand move between my legs, up my stomach, very slowly, as if he was more interested in exploring my skin than groping it. I felt a bit stunned, confused even, because I had this sense we had done something like this. Which must have meant he had been 'dating' me. Didn't it? Maybe I'd decided to give in like I had this time. "Did you know I was a virgin?"

"I thought I'd just been a bit too rough." Nick twisted onto his side and yawned, bringing his hand back, head moving to press against the side of my head as his hand brushed hair out of his way. His other hand, the one tracing across my hips, found the area where the bone had been broken in my hip. Fingers explored it, explored every bump and curve there. "This spot's different to last time."

"That's where I broke my hip."

"I thought it felt stiffer than last time. Roll over." Nick continued to explore, his mouth kissing across skin as his fingers traced across my side. I rolled over onto my stomach. Fingertips continued to move along, tracing each scar across my back, a low growl deep in his throat, his body moving half across mine. "Do you remember us yet?"

"Some things."

"I can wait." Nick's chin rested against my shoulder as he relaxed back down. His hand relaxed on my back. Nick didn't say anything for a while, laying there, legs brushing against my bare legs as his hand stroked my back. When he did speak he sounded almost apologetic. "I didn't come up here for this. I came up to talk to you about what you'd forgotten, be honest that we'd already had sex, figured that you deserved to know."

"I can't believe I'd do that." I wasn't angry though. I was surprised though, that I wasn't angry, and that I'd … damn, it had felt so natural, so normal, like hunting had, like running.

"What can I say? You love me."

The air got heavy suddenly. Tense. I wasn't exactly sure how to respond to that. It wasn't something I could joke about. Love? That was a whole new confusing vulnerable state I wasn't sure I could even think about, led alone joke about. Truth was, I didn't just want love, I wanted security. Safety. A partner, even if they weren't my husband or wife, meant that I was protected and had someone to protect. Sex was clearly fun but it wasn't security.

"This can't happen again." I said, softly.

"What?" Nick's head shot up. He stared at me.

"I want different things. I want sex with complications. With strings attached. You can't …"

Nick moved suddenly, cutting me off, his face going stiffer. More guarded. Like I'd upset him with that, somehow, was it because he was used to no strings attached sex? "Didn't you-" He growled. Sat up suddenly, yanking back his side, and got up. "You know what. I'm going to shower and when I come back, we'll talk." Nick was gone before I could answer.

I lay there, breathing hard, and slowly tugged the sheets back over me. Tried to think. To breathe. He was acting on memories I didn't have, I knew, but I couldn't … I was confused. Angry. There was another side of me too, the instinct of the wolf, that didn't seem to understand what the fuss was about. Didn't know why I didn't act on it. I tried to ignore it. What was wrong with demanding strings attached?

As soon as he was gone I remembered how fearful I was of the dark and swore softly. Now that I was awake I couldn't exactly relax back into a sleep. My heart started to beat a different kind of fear now. Sliding out of the bed, I tiptoed, listening for the sound of a shower starting. There was none. Just the creak of the stairs, the gale outside, and a sleeping house.

When I still heard no shower, I stood up and found something to pull on, pants and a t-shirt, yanking them on in a hurry. I tried to follow the smell he'd left behind, the trail, the dark making it difficult. My heart raced. Darkness. Yes, I was angry too, but there were more important things. Why was I afraid of the darkness anyway? It seemed to press in, even with my eyes being able to see better, conceal, hide things...

I followed Nick outside and relaxed.

He stood there in the blizzard, bare feet, still in boxers, clutching at his hair, back to the door. I could hear his heart, his blood rushing, wondered what the hell he was doing.

"Nick?"

"Better than any damn shower, don't you think?" Nick smiled, slightly tense, his boxers not really hiding much. He held his arms out in the snow. Let it fall all over him, all over his skin, making him tremble slightly, skin already pink with the freezing cold of it.

I didn't answer, just watching him, my own arms trembling slightly in the cold. He hesitated, stepped forward, a quick lick of his lips as he started at me. Face loosing the smile, just the intense look he seemed to only be able to give me, head twisting to the side.

"Why did you follow me?"

"Because... I don't know." Because I was afraid of the dark when I was alone? No way was I going to admit that I still had another trait from before the bite. I tore my gaze from him to the snow, the darkness pressing in around us, making me shiver.

Nick nodded. Stepped forward. Then again. But he didn't touch me, just stood close, separated by wind and cold. It wasn't long before I couldn't take the freezing cold any more and so I headed back in, Nick hurrying to overtake me, following him up the stairs in the dark. It was as we were going down the hall on the second floor that Nick tensed, dropping me, his gaze swinging back to one of the doors.

He held a finger to his mouth at me, barely seeable in the dark room, but I had heard it too. There had been a woman, sounding like she was in pain, groaning.

"I better check." Nick whispered. "Jeremy won't hear her with that wind outside."

I followed him as he made his way to the door and slid it open slowly. Pav was, for once, not motionless. She was moving, moving with more energy than she had for days, her body writhing under the covers. Another groan of pain. I stiffened, hearing and smell and sight suddenly alert, like deep down I knew how bad this was. She still smelt of illness but she also smelt like something else.

When she arched out of bed, tipping onto the floor in the sheets, I smelt fur, saw her usually pale skin going dark, and understood.

"Damnit. Grab her!" Nick jumped forward, grabbing for her legs under the sheets, trying to yank her out. She fell onto the ground, crying out louder, her skin rippling and limbs contorting. He yanked her up from behind, trying to hold her, but she was thrashing, hands trying to rip him off her, the smell of his blood adding to her smell.

I was already forward and grabbing her legs, feeling them contort under my hands as well, and he was pushing us backwards out of the room.

"Turn us around." He ordered, I did as he said, and he backed down the hallway, down the stairs, a blood-curdling scream from Pav that was more of a howl than any noise a human could make, claws digging into my hands as her teeth flashed in the dark. She was still midway through changing, still in agony, but there was nothing of Pav there now. Growls and screams were filling the staircase, the sound of people moving upstairs, and suddenly there was another body bumping into me from the side, startling me, Clayton coming out of the darkness. There was the sudden brightness of a light, making Nick swear as it hit him in the face, but Jeremy was already moving past him and making sure the stairs were lit.

Teeth closed around flesh, someone's arm, her half-human half-wolf face trying to get us off her, we were twisting in the dark ground floor of the house, and down another set of stairs. She was changed now, a huge black wolf, thrashing in our grip, teeth and claws flashing in the darkness.

A metal door swung open nearby. Jeremy waited with the light, holding a door, waiting, yelling an order that we could barely hear over her growls, but it seemed vaguely like 'throw her'.

We did, awkwardly, the wolf body nearly falling short, but Jeremy and Clayton shoved the cage door shut before she could move, pushing her inside the cage. A lock clicked and I was yanked backwards as teeth came flying through the bars of the cage, barely missing skin. She was huge, black fur, the stunning green-blue eyes she'd had shining in the light of the torch.

Pav only made a few attempts to harm us though. When we were sufficiently backed up from her cage, she growled once more, paced in a circle, then crawled under a bed in the room and whined.

"That was too fucking close." Clayton snapped.

"It was. Fast work, Nick, Anne." Jeremy hesitated as he stared at Nick, who was still butt naked, and shook his head with a smile.

"Didn't she _say_ anything?"

Jeremy shook his head, sighing, and moved closer to examine what wounds had been caused in by the torchlight. "She isn't well, Clayton, I don't think she even could tell."

"Why didn't you warn us she was due?" Clayton swung on me then, any ground won with him lost, his face full of fury.

I flinched, as if struck, and Nick's hand closed over mine suddenly, hard, sheltering it. Jeremy stepped between us, his gaze fixed on Clayton, voice firm and steady. "She gave us Pav's last change date. I assumed she was too sick to manage it. I was wrong."

"Anne knows her friend's changes. People could have gotten hurt." Clayton's eyes took in the scratches on Nick, eyes narrowing, inhaling sharply. "People _have_ gotten hurt. She was too busy with Nick to stay with her friend."

My face drained of blood. He knew? Did everyone know? Hear it? Smell it? Did he tell people? I yanked my hand away from Nick's hand. Nick frowned harder, as if he was going to say something, but instead he moved closer.

"I'm not hurt." Nick's eyes meeting Clayton's with a steady stare that made Clayton blink and back down slightly. But only a fraction. He stared at me with such anger that I just wanted to go hide somewhere. It was justified anger too. I couldn't blame him.

"Do you need to change too?" Clayton stepped closer. He looked like he was about ready to throw me into the cage too. "Don't you need to?"

"Anne isn't sick. She'll be able to tell us when she's got to. Clayton, go to bed. I'll keep a watch over Pav." Jeremy glanced toward the stairs, noticing before all of us a white faced woman there, one I hadn't seen earlier, her gaze on him. Clayton moved past her.

"The twins are sleeping in our room from now on, Jeremy." He was gone before Jeremy could answer.

Jeremy sighed and turned to look at the woman on the stairs. "You okay, Jamie?"

"Yeah. You're staying here tonight?" She nodded. Stared at the long cut down one of Jeremy's arms where Pav's claw had managed to make brief contact.

"Just till she changes. You may as well sleep. Jamie, this is Anne. Anne, this is Jamie, my girlfriend." Jamie smiled at me, a tense quick smile, but she returned her gaze to Jeremy.

"Nick, get dressed and fix Anne's scratches in her room. I'm not sure how you heard her from the couch," Jeremy's face softened slightly, as he took in Nick's naked body, that smile returning, "But good work. I'll have to give you all an injection tomorrow, just in case, we don't need syphilis spreading."

Nick moved to lead me upstairs again, pausing in the kitchen to get a small container with a little first aid cross on it, before we were going back up into my room. He worked silently with a little torch, bandaids and fingers brushing across where the fabric had been ripped, before he leaned back, still fully naked, and winked at me.

I didn't need him to tell me, I moved forward to treat him, finding a nasty bite on one arm, scratches, his closeness to Pav's head making him look worse. But then I'd find something I'd done and I'd flush, mutter an apology, and he'd grin. The more I found of my damage, the more he grinned, and finally he yanked the antibacterial cream out of my hand and tossed it onto the desk.

"Relax. It'll heal."

We sat there for a few minutes when I was done, listening to the sound of feet outside, voices talking, and watching torches move back and forward along the hallway. Finally, when I shivered, Nick seemed to snap out of it. "Get back into bed." He ordered.

I didn't ignore it this time, and when he slid back in and offered 'my side', I returned there, still trembling from the humiliation and fright I'd just suffered. Guilt too. I should sleep with Pav. She was sick. But, my mind reasoned, if I should have, wouldn't Jeremy have given me a bed in her room instead of a separate room? I couldn't answer that.

I fell asleep, feeling the warmth of a nearby body, the smell of linen and Nick both somehow comforting enough to relax. Whatever I'd said before, that'd upset him, it didn't seem to matter right now.

"Tell your friend I'm sorry that I wasn't more vigilant."

"Clayton's protective of his pack. It's his job." Nick snuggled up against my back, curling into me, mouth finding the back of my neck. He yawned. "I'll talk to him. Don't worry. We're like brothers. We grew up here together."

I yawned and shut my eyes. The briefest temptation to kick him out was there, just a moment, but I was too tired and he was too warm. I fell asleep.

Nick was still there in the morning, in the same position, covered in feathers, his brown curls all over the place. I twisted to stare at him. When asleep, he looked older, and I wondered how old he actually was. This hadn't ever occurred to me before. I'd known he was a bit older but when he had been playing around, there was nothing to suggest that he was older, I could have almost mistaken him for someone in their early thirties who wasn't quite ready to let go of their twenties yet. Maybe he was a bit further in his thirties than I'd thought.

It didn't matter, I decided, because I'd told him last night to stop.

I still couldn't believe what we'd actually done last night and that he was still here. That wasn't as big a shock as the fact that we'd already done it months ago. After three days? Maybe it was four days. That was such an out of character thing for me to have done, I would have thought he was lying, except that deep down I knew he wasn't, and that I knew I'd been very happy with the idea. If it had been rape, I would have panicked, I would have been afraid, and I wasn't.

Something stiff rubbed against my thigh and I stiffened. He muttered something in his sleep, arm tightening around me, his legs brushing against mine. What had I said last night? Oh yeah. That we were going to stop this. If I stayed here and he woke, I knew that my willpower might slip at a very dramatic rate, so I slid sideways out of the bed.

"BREAKFAST!"

The sudden shriek of delight from outside in the hallway make me jump. Small feet pounded down the hallway, ignoring the adult yelling after them, apparently heading for downstairs. Nick sat bolt upright in bed as well, gazing around sleepily, looking for whatever had yelled.

"Who... oh, morning." He glanced at me and grinned. Held out his arms as he yawned, stretching that incredible body, making the muscles ripple. My eyes followed every inch of it and he _knew_."Cuddle?"

"You're naked."

"It saves time." He slid out of bed, striding up to me, quickly trapping me between him and the door. Nick's hand closed on the doorhandle, locking it, eyes fixed in mine. "You're dressed."

I glanced down at the tshirt and pants I'd pulled on last night to go outside. Yes. I was dressed. "It slows you down. Didn't I say we were stopping this?"

"Did I agree?"

"You-"

Another yell cut through what I was going to say, Katherine's feet pounding back up the stairs, and the slamming of a door. Elena was behind her, yelling at her to give the present back, that _one_ present could only be opened on Christmas eve... not as many as she could carry.

Nick's hands slid the tshirt up, resting on my bare waist, ducking down to kiss my neck while his hands slid up.

"I need a shower." I wriggled out of his grasp, backing up, nearly tripping on part of my discarded clothing from last night. I felt sticky and a little bit warm now.

"Cold shower?" Nick turned, following me, his eyes narrowing as his grin turned a little more predatory than I liked. I suspected that backing away or running from him was not helpful.

"Whatever kind." I made a lunge for the door, his arms wrapping around my waist, yanking me backwards. Onto the bed. I slid sideways as he came to try and pounce onto me, out of his grasp, heading back for the door. "I need breakfast."

Nick turned to watch me, head tilting, before he sighed, nodded and stood. "Yes. Me too. Energy for this morning. Afternoon. Night." Another wink.

"I told you. I can't do this again. I like strings attached."It sounded corny now, in the daylight, and I flushed. Images of him bound up with rope, tied to the bed, flashed into my mind. Not memories but images that were somehow very very attractive.

"Oh, come on, Anne, you-" Nick growled as a knock interrupted what he was saying. I could see him fighting the urge to yank the door open and tell off whoever it was but when it was Elena, he relaxed.

"Anne, is Nick naked in there?"

"Yes."

"Are you?"

"No."

Elena opened the door, sliding in, and locking it just as Katherine raced down the hall to follow her mum. She threw a sheet at Nick and stared at the mess we'd left in the room. I could see it from her eyes, torn clothing, a torn doona, the lamp knocked off by where the doona had been tossed...

"Sorry." I muttered. Not exactly what a guest did.

"It's seen worse damage. Jeremey's been wanting to redecorate this room. Guess Nick gets to pay for it this time." Elena smiled. "Nice change. Usually Clay and myself are the ones having to repair damage."

Nick stood up, wrapping the sheet around him like a toga, arms out for Elena. She sidestepped him, glancing down at his 'state', and rolled her eyes.

"We've decided that you're going to have to change earlier today and stay in the cage for the entire time." Elena turned to face me. Her eyes trailed over the bite marks on my neck, on the scratches down my arms, and I suspected she knew that it hadn't just come from Pav. "Clayton wants to make sure you're safe and I can't say I blame him."

I paled and nodded. "As soon as you want me to start. I'll try."

"Eat breakfast first and relax." Elena's face softened at my expression, a hand coming to rest on my arm. glanced at Nick, as he slid to wrap his arm around her, but she didn't push him away this time. "It's not meant to be a punishment. We're just making sure that everything works all right. It also means that means that your first run outside will be delayed till Christmas eve."

I nodded. Christmas meant nothing to me really. This just gave it a little more meaning. Something else to look forward to. "Will I be alone down there?"

"Only while you're changing. We'll come down after half an hour and see how you're doing. Don't worry about that. Just think about breakfast." She fixed her eyes on me as she said that, an order I couldn't refuse. "Your friend is asleep, she said to say sorry to you, and she's being left alone to sleep. She requested that we restrain her just in case."

"She _just_ changed though."

"Seems that her body isn't done. Pav changed twice last night. Jeremy thinks her body's healing itself and it's provoking changes. Clayton's tense about it but the kids are so relaxed. Don't seem at all bothered that there's an unstable werewolf in mommy's old bedroom." Elena had been ignoring Nick as she talked to me, but she'd leaned into him, wrapping an arm around him. I felt a twitch of jealousy but that was gone very quickly. Nick's face was different when he looked at her. So relaxed, so comfortable, nothing sexual or tense in it. When his eyes came to meet mine, that look flared in them again, the briefest expression that something was still going on in his mind when it came to me. It was a sign that I should get out with Elena.

"Mommy! Katherine stole my breakfast!" Someone else was at the door now, the little boy, his fist knocking. Elena sighed.

"Nick, get dressed. Come on Anne, we'll leave him alone to play." She turned to open the door, Nick sliding behind it out of the boy's direction, and I slid out before he could grab at me, Elena behind me.

Once I was done with the quick shower, trying to save hot water for whatever else was needed, I headed downstairs.

Breakfast, as it turned out, was another spectacular feast. Cold Meats, ham, turkey, gravy, roasted vegetables, cheese things, and the pancakes to wrap it all in, like no one could really wait for Christmas lunch and wanted to get into it early. I stood there, breathing it in, and felt Nick come up behind. Had he been waiting? The twins waved to us as we came in, almost gone under their plates, more relaxed with me there now. Clayton's face turned to see us and he shrugged at Nick. Nick's grin answered him. They both seemed to relax.

I slid into a chair beside Elena and started to help myself. Reece and Nick both headed for the seat beside me, the Australian faster, pushing a plate in my direction before Nick could grab it.

"Told you I'd save you some vegemite. Here. You can have all these." Reece grinned and gestured over the plate as if he was displaying some kind of precious necklace.

Pancakes, some covered with vegemite, were curled up. Steam was still rising from them. I inhaled the smell, sighing with satisfaction, and took a bite of one. Crepes with vegemite and grated cheese. Reece really did know how an Aussie liked it.

Nick yanked it up and sniffed the pancakes. As soon as he went to take a bite of one he recoiled at the smell and held it up out of my reach. "Poison! Feeding her poison again, Reece?"

"Nick! Jeremy called, as Nick danced backwards, holding my plate high above his head, Jeremy's head shaking. He was relaxed, leaning against Jamie, looking happier than he had for a few days. Jamie was gorgeous, maybe in her forties, and she looked equally relaxed. She leaned forward to shake my hand as Nick tried to get my attention by waving my plate around.

"Hey hun. I'm Jamie Vegas. Sorry for not greeting you last night but-" She waved her hand, shrugging. "-spending a day and a night in an airport didn't leave me in the most social place. Just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep."

"Nice to meet you." I wasn't sure if I'd seen her before or not. I suspected I had but I couldn't figure it out. She smiled and leaned back, as if she'd been waiting for me to ask something, relaxing.

"Jamie is a necromancer." Jeremy's arm had snuck around Jamie, gaze turning to her with obvious affection.

"A necromancer?" I blinked and stared back at her. "What, like the raising the dead, going into death's gates kind? I didn't know there were others besides werewolves?"

"Yes, like that. Not as easy as the books make it out though." Jamie waved her hand again. "There's a lot of others besides werewolves. Vampires, witches, shamans, half-demons-"

"Half demons? Seriously?" I blinked and she laughed again.

"There's a whole lot out there. You're not alone as far as supernatural women go, even if you're one of the few females in the werewolf world. Haven't you met anyone else yet?"

"She'll meet Paige on Christmas. She's a witch. She'll gladly talk to you about it all." Elena added from where she sat, trying to eat while watching the twins, a juggling act that wasn't easy from the looks of things. "Logan, wash that plate if you're done."

"I'm not finished. I want more."

"Just a few more pancakes then."

"Nick, plate back to Anne and sit." Jeremy spoke up, interrupting us, eyes back on the place behind me.

I blinked and looked backwards. Nick was still standing there behind me. He had been eating, taking the pancakes that weren't covered in vegemite, but he grinned. Tugged at Reece's chair, yanking him sideways chair and all, and before Reece could protest he'd slid a chair between us and sat down. Kept eating from my plate but he slid a plate towards me, and while Nick ate with one hand, started to pile things from the table on the other.

Not quite what Jeremy meant, I thought, but I was hungry and didn't care. When I went to grab the vegemite pancakes off the plate Nick was guarding, he let me, just raising an eyebrow.

"Where's Antonio?" Nick asked between bites, glancing around. "And Clayton?"

Jeremy's face suddenly became guarded. "Checking the town."

Nick stiffened and glanced at me, just briefly, and nodded.

I felt myself tense up as well, my eyes going from Jeremy to Elena, but both's faces had gone guarded now, unreadable.

"They'll be back by dinner."

I wanted to ask but I felt cut off from it. Neither Jeremy or Elena seemed to want to volunteer information. In fact the whole room seemed to go quiet, except for the kids, like the adults had tensed up.

Elena excused herself and took the kids upstairs. Jamie and Jeremy vanished too, Reece going with them, and I was left alone with Nick.

He started to clean up quietly, any teasing done, so I stood up and started to help him. Having no power still made it difficult to do with just one person.

After a while, he wrapped an arm around my waist. I went to push him off but there was something in his face that made me stop and stand there. After a moment, watching me, waiting to see if I'd reject him, Nick moved closer and went to hug me closer.

Now I knew that whatever Antonio and Clayton were doing, it was serious.

"Nick?"

"Mmm?"

"There's someone in town. A mutt. Isn't there?"

"I can't tell you." Nick's chin rested on my head. No tickling, no fingers sliding under tops, just a warm hug, his heartbeat raised. After a minute he said, softly, very softly, the tenseness returning as he said it, "I _can_ tell you that Antonio and Clayton are both our best fighters and torturers."

I stiffened too. That meant that something was going on in town. No pack would send both fighters away from the main pack without a cause. I stood there, comforted by this closeness, trembling a little. Not with fear, exactly, but with something else. Was it the sense that I was in danger? Or was it the pack was in danger? I wasn't apart of it, officially, but I felt closer to these people than I had to anyone for months. Half of me regretted putting them in danger like this. Nick's own father was now out there doing some mysterious thing.

"Torture?" The other word he'd used drifted through my head and out my mouth.

"Yes."

I went quiet as he held me. Shut my eyes and shivered. This entire 'supernatural' world was a brutal place, it seemed, with rape, fights, torture. I was tough, very tough, but that didn't mean I didn't also want somewhere safe to stay. To protect. If this was going to be my place for now then I'd protect it. Where would they torture someone though?

I knew the answer to that question the moment I'd asked myself it. There was really only one logical place.

"There's another reason they need the cage tonight, isn't there?"

Nick stiffened and said nothing. He didn't have to.

Jeremy came back into the kitchen then and coughed, gentle, watching us with the softness he seemed to get around members of his pack. It extended to me too. I felt warmth flow into me, like I was almost starting to belong here, a strange kind of trust and protectiveness for this older werewolf.

"Let her go, Nick. Elena's going to have to not spend long downstairs, she'll be watching the house, listening for the phone."

"I want to come down too."

Jeremy didn't answer. He looked at me, his expression asking me if I wanted that, if I was comfortable with that.

Right now I was. However much Nick worked me up, however angry I got with him, however much I had to avoid sex with him again, right now he was comforting. Safe. I just had to smell him and I felt like there was something in this place beyond a temporary shelter. Maybe this was what happened when werewolves bonded with their new packs, I didn't know, but I wasn't going to argue with it.

"All right. Come on."

We headed downstairs, Nick's warm brown hand threading through my pale one, his thumb stroking across the back of my hand. Jeremy unlocked the cage and swung it open. The light from outside was dim, the snow covering the little window, and there was only the small swinging light that was some kind of portable lantern. It made the cage look a little eerie. I swallowed.

No. This was going to be fine. I'd changed before. But my heart was hammering away now, my blood racing, a cold sweat. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me.

"We'll be just here." Jeremy said, as if he was aware of how my body was starting to react, eyes kept in mine with that calm expression.

"You all right?" Nick murmured in my ear. I had to let him go now, didn't I? I glanced down at our hands, where they met, seeing that I was now grasping his hand so tight that his brown hand was going white from the lack of blood. I let it go with a soft apology. "We're right here."

"Maybe it's because I've never done it at will before." I tried. Smiled my best reassuring smile. Neither smiled back. Panic was starting to flood but I forced myself to step into the cage. Gazed around at the concrete walls, smelt ancient blood and newer blood, smelt sickness from Pav, and the smell of some kind of cleaner still soaked into the stone ground.

"It's just for one change. The next change will be outdoors." Jeremy stepped forward to grasp the door. "This one is purely to get it out for a few more days. Give us a chance to see how well you can move your back leg." As he was speaking in that low even tone, he let the door go, eyes kept locked in mine. The door started to swing shut.

"I know. I'm okay. Rea-" The cage door slammed shut mid-sentance, the reassuring smile suddenly slamming away with it. Something snapped my control over the rising panic, snapping it like a thin twig, and I snapped with it. Panic. Panic flooded every inch of me, as I was suddenly aware of where I was, of how tiny this cage was, the bars, and suddenly I was no longer Anne. I too afraid- no, I _was_ fear.

I watched myself, almost disconnected from my actions, grasp the cage doors and shake them. Plead. Jeremy's face was fading away, even though he hadn't moved further than a step back, instead it was something else. I was pleading to be let out. Leave the door open. I'd stay in the cage with the door open. Please.

No answer.

Laughter started to echo in my ears, cruel laughter, and the faces outside the cage door weren't the safe ones of Jeremy and Nick. No. It was someone else, the man that owned me, and the doctor that was beside him with a dart gun. Laughing. Tormenting me with words, words that cut deeper than any knife, eyes that violated something deep inside I couldn't put a name to.

I was suddenly ramming against the cage door, hard, and the pain that came from my shoulder was delayed. By the time it came, I was already ramming a second time, blind panic. No give. The door didn't give. It didn't move. There was a sudden movement towards the door, another sudden movement as the body was yanked away from the door, orders given, but the two bodies were starting to loose identity. Names. Faces. They were just there.

I didn't scream, just started again, trying other areas, the cage wall, ramming the bars, the walls, aware vaguely of a dull crack in my shoulder, but the pain was so far buried under the panic that I barely paid it attention. Oh god. I had to get out. I _had_ to escape. I _had_ to run. The sense that if I didn't, if I stayed here, something terrible would happen. I couldn't breathe, I was panting for air but nothing was coming, and I could hear voices but they were overshadowed by the voices in my head. Memories.

"I'm going to have fun breaking you."

"Bitch, you'll beg for me."

"I'm going to fuck you till you scream, slave."

"I have a nice collar for you, bitch, and a leash that goes with it. See how nice this bitch plays." I blinked, staring out of the cell, not at the men that I felt safe with, but at the man who wanted me to call him master. Oh god. I'd forgotten. He had wanted to call me Master. The day he'd told that, he'd brought a girl on a leash, her eyes dead, crawling on a leash, a collar so delicate she could have easily snapped it off and run. But she didn't. She was dead inside. Only her body kept moving and only for his pleasure. It was how he wanted me.

My body was changing. It had changed. I didn't know. I looked down, saw dark red-blonde hair on my arms, on my legs, tearing clothing, and collapsed. I was on the ground, crying, screaming, raging, darkness taking away any awareness of the room, only of the cold ground.

When I woke, I was curled up on something soft, something wrapped around my wrists, my shoulder and body still in agony. For a moment, I panicked, fighting, before hands were on my arms, pushing me down, a face close to mine. Eyes trying to get me to see him. I fought for a few seconds more, unable to connect face with memory. No, I was screaming in my head, no, I was caught, I was tied up, they were torturing me again. A voice was talking at me too. It took another minute before I knew it. Suddenly I knew who the face was, and what the voice was saying.

"Get these things off me." I pleaded. Jeremy's face, hovering over mine, his white with some emotion I was too afraid to see.

"Calm down first."

"Get these things off me!" I nearly screamed, back arching, gasping with pain as my sore shoulder twisted, it was bad enough to make me freeze.

"Jeremy..." There was a voice nearby, my head twisting sideways, a man standing outside the cage. He was pale too. Looked like he was about to jump inside himself, hands white around the bars.

"Stay back, Nick. Calm down, Anne. I can't let you go till you've calmed down."

I tried, I lay there, panting, eyes wide, I wanted to run. To walk. I wanted to move. The things refused to let me. I yanked, pain again searing down my shoulder, down into my chest.

"You'll hurt yourself more if you keep struggling."

More? My eyes darted to where my shoulder was. It was swollen, puffed up, bright red, it looked awful. Out of place.

It WAS out of place.

I calmed down then, some sense of reason coming back, trying to will myself to be calm. My heart beat was thundering in my ears, the smell of my own blood strong in my nostrils, I could see clothing threaded across the room, across my body. I was naked, almost, but neither of the men seemed to notice or care.

"Nick?" I called, making the man's hands tense, and then he was inside the cage.

"I told you to stay out." Jeremy muttered, as Nick went to stand on the other side, but he didn't seem to mind now that I was calming down.

"I'm okay." I swallowed, throat raw, trembling. Panic was starting to seep away and in its place was embarrassment. Oh god. I'd really fucked that change up."Have you got any camomile tea or rescue remedy or anything?"

"No..."

"I didn't think so. You should. It's good for panic." I shut my eyes, opened them, a rough hand reaching up to brush blood away from my eyes. "Did I change?"

"Yes."

"I wasn't in control."

"We noticed."

"I'm usually in control."

They didn't say anything. Jeremy leaned forward, to unclip the restraints around my wrists, while Nick was quick to get the ones around the ankles. The last stubborn dregs of panic suddenly faded, my eyes snapping to the open cell door.

I was free.

It was then that I saw Elena standing there with her blue eyes watching me with the wariness of a wolf that was not sure about another. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore." I didn't bother hiding it. Sitting up, I winced involuntary, though I tried to hide it. I felt stupid now, guilty, like I'd overreacted last night. It was just a cage door. "Stupid. I over reacted."

"No one thinks that." Jeremy wrapped a sheet around my chest, before he started to examine the shoulder, frowning at it. "It was a reaction to the cage. Natural reaction. I should have anticipated that. You did good work with the shoulder though."

I looked at it again, swallowing, it was strange looking. Lump in the wrong spot. Agony and pain stabbing up and down my arm. "What's wrong with it?"

"It's dislocated. It's not the first one I've fixed and should heal fast enough." Jeremy glanced to Elena, who nodded, stepping backwards and heading upstairs. "This will hurt for a few seconds and feel better. Nick, hold her still."

Nick slid onto the bed behind me, arms wrapping around my chest, his chin coming down to rest against my good shoulder. I felt the briefest touch of his lips against my neck there, his scent washing over me, safety coming back.

Jeremy moved the arm, making me cry out in pain, his face tense with concentration. Then suddenly he was moving it, pain shooting, and filling my head. Midway through the pain there was an awful crack, a movement in my shoulder and ...relief. I blinked. Elena was back now with a first aid kit.

"I'll give you an arm splint for a few days but you'll heal soon." Jeremy stepped backwards and fished in the box for a bandage, carefully binding my arm to my chest, before stepping back and sighing. "That'll do for now."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened." I tried to apologise, tried to explain, but he cut me off.

"You spent almost a year in a cage. That's what happened. _This_ was probably not going to work."

"So what now?" Elena asked.

"We try it outdoors. The snow will make it easier to keep Anne in the general area and will keep humans from getting close to our borders. There's enough space for it." Jeremy didn't like it but I didn't think he'd try this again either.

Feet came running down the stairs then. Jamie came in, face flushed. She glanced at us all.

"Jeremy, sorry, but there's a phone call. From Russia, I think, the accent's thick. It's hard to hear."

"Ah. I've got to take it. Anne, go and have a rest, Nick will bring you lunch in bed. Elena, can you check on Pav and then meet me in the study?" Jeremy stood up straighter. Everyone nodded, his orders clear, and he hurried upstairs, Elena and Jamie behind him.

Nick slid off the bed and lifted me up, wrapping the torn sheet around me, cutting me off as I starte to protest. "You _can_ walk, I know, but you're not going to walk. You're going to relax and let me carry you to bed."

We were already starting up the stairs as he said this. I sighed. I didn't really want to walk- my body was exhausted, every muscle ached, like I had been slamming myself against the walls for hours.

"How long was I ..."

"Six hours and fifteen minutes."

"You counted the minutes?"

Nick nodded, lifting one wrist to show me a wristwatch, and started up the second lot of stairs for the upstairs.

When we reached my room, I was lifted onto the bed and stared at it. The bed had been cleaned at some point, feathers moved, a new doona put over it. There was some kind of blue cover now. Nick tucked me inside, careful, making sure the pillow held me up, before heading back out.

I lay there and stared at the wall. I was embarrassed but at the same time, I felt kind of touched, kind of warm and fuzzy, because no one seemed angry. Nick's attention wasn't hurting either. The less I fought against accepting it, the better it felt, which was either a really good sign or a really bad sign. I couldn't tell.

And what about Antonio and Clayton? No one had mentioned them. Also, what was this about a Russian on the phone? I wasn't sure what was going on.

When Nick came back, he didn't have answers, didn't know about Antonio or Nick, and didn't know if anyone else knew. He lay beside me in bed on top of the cover, so careful not to jostle the shoulder, the tray of food put between us so we could both eat there.

"Thanks." I muttered afterwoods, tummy round with food, shutting my eyes. I was kind of exhausted now.

"For what?"

"Staying there with me."

Nick didn't answer, just moved the tray, and slid closer to my side. His hand moved to stroke my hair, fingers brushing through the tangles, smoothing it out. We lay there quietly, side by side, the sound of wind outside filling our ears.

"Did they rape you?" The question was soft. Tense. Nick's eyes weren't looking at me for once but at some wall behind me.

I tensed, which made him tense, his jaw clenching. The part of me that wanted to reject him, force him away, wanted to fight him. Yell. Ask him how it could be his business anyway. But I didn't want to fight. I just wanted to lie here with this comforting presence and get over the morning.

"No."

Nick blinked and sighed. A low drawn out sigh. "Good."

"He thought I was a virgin. He wanted to save it for when I accepted a collar." I didn't know why he thought I was a virgin. It made no sense now because clearly Nick had taken care of that. "Or when twelve months were up. Whichever came first."

"If I see you with so much as a necklace that isn't given to you by the pack, I'll destroy it." Nick muttered, reaching up to trace my neck with his fingers. "No one touches you now."

"I don't understand though. How did he get the idea I was a virgin?" Maybe I'd forgotten Nick and told him that. But no... "He got me because I was a virgin. All his girls were."

Nick didn't answer, just continued to stroke my neck and hair, breathing slightly faster than normal. The topic must have angered him but he didn't say anything for a while. When he did, he sounded strained. "Did you tell anyone?"

"It's not something I told people. Twenty six year old virgin? People would laugh. I didn't even tell you, apparently."

"So young." Nick smiled then, shifting onto his elbow, and his lips found mine. He kissed me gently, softly, warmth spreading across my body even with the shock that morning had given me. "Who'd laugh? I should have been much gentler with you."

"What was it like? Our first time?" I couldn't stop it, the curiosity, couldn't help it. I wanted to know.

"You still don't remember it?" Nick lifted his head and stared at me. When I shook my head he sighed, frowned, and shifted closer a little. "I'll keep it a surprise then. Let you have a nice memory to remember."

"It can't have been that good."

"We both seemed to enjoy it." Nick laughed, a soft laugh deep in his throat, as he corrected himself, "_You_ seemed to like it a bit more than enjoy."

"Uh huh." I was tempted to argue, to tease, but the bubble was still there. So I shut my eyes and sighed, trying to get comfortable, the sore shoulder making this slightly more difficult than it had been this morning.

I think I slept then, the moment my eyes were shut, the moment I was comfortable, my body giving up. When I woke, Nick had shifted and was tapping away on something, one arm still draped over my back. I slid up and found him sitting there with a laptop.

"Wh..."

"Power's back." Nick leaned up to kiss me, brushing hair out of his way, and then went back to the email. "I'm checking on work. Go back to sleep- I'll stick around. "

I leaned back down and watched him. He looked more mature now, more focused, and he even seemed to be enjoying it. I shut my eyes, yawning, trying to roll over. Ow. Shoulder did not want me to roll over. Pav's voice echoed through my head- her earlier statement about how there were strong werewolves and the injured. How she'd suggested that maybe she was too weak and therefore not a good mate for her wife. She hadn't said those words but I had heard the meaning, heard her hesitate, as if she almost hoped she'd die instead of go blind.

It also made me wonder what it meant for me. Because either I'd suddenly gotten super strong in my panic or I was weaker than usual. Either way there was a problem there. Was I weaker too? Jeremy had said that it'd happened before though- or at least, that he had put them back in before. "Nick, Jeremy said he'd had to do this before. My shoulder. When?"

"When Clayton and I were younger we played. A lot. Not like how human kids play, like how werewolf kids play. Dislocated shoulders, fingers, limbs, not such a big deal. It healed and we would end up doing something else to each other with no hard feelings." Nick moved to lay on his back on the cover, tugging a pillow under him, kicking his shoes off. "Yours will heal easily and you'll be back to scratching me in no time. Don't worry about it."

"You grew up together?"

"Mmmhm. Clayton was brought here when I was a kid. Some bastard had bitten him when he was just a kid and he survived in the wild for a while. By the time he came here, Jeremy had calmed him down a bit, but I loved it. I think he stirred me up." Nick closed the laptop, pushing it on the bedside table and reached over to wrap his arm around me over the covers. "It was a long time ago now."

"How old are you?"

"Fifty one."

"What!" I sat up, sudden, wincing as my shoulder told me that was a very silly thing to do. I turned to look at him. He grinned, a big wide grin, apparently enjoying my reaction. "You're teasing me."

"Not at all. Born August thirteenth."

"You're almost _twice my age_." I shook my head at that and he laughed, leaning forward, yanking me onto his stomach. "You don't look fifty one." He didn't. I'd assumed he was about thirty something, at the most, and with his love of parties, good clothing and generally having a good time, his life didn't exactly scream 'middle aged'. There wasn't a single grey hair in those curls, his muscles were something a twenty year old would envy, nothing at all to indicate his age. Not even a wrinkle. "Where's your wrinkles and grey hair?"

"I found one grey hair. Want to see it?" Nick lifted up the hem of his pants, grabbing my hand, sitting up. When I yanked it back he laughed. "We age slower. I've only had a steady job for the past few years. As for being twice your age... well, I didn't ever hear you noticing that."

"We _do_ age slower?" Had someone said that to me recently? I wasn't sure. There was a flood of stuff I'd been told recently and I wasn't quite sure how to sort it. His age didn't bother me, somehow, I didn't seem to find it a concern.

"You'll be like this in thirty years. All curves and dangerous eyes and sexy hair. Dangerous body too when I'm done teaching you how to use it." He tugged at my hair, making me blink, I'd never actually heard it described like that before. It was all right, dark blonde and red, that went gold in sunlight, but it wasn't the kind of hair people usually wanted to achieve. Dyes never had my shade, they had bleach blondes, or golden blondes, or some kind of red, never this shade. It was never fashionable. Nick played with it, curling it around his finger, as he added, "I'll have some wrinkles, grey hair hidden by hair dye, and still be trying to get into your bed." He was about to sneak his hand up my shirt, when his eyes flashed to my bound arm, and he hesitated. Nick leaned up to kiss my neck instead, gently, as if he was suddenly afraid he'd break me.

Ignoring the last statement I asked, "How old is Jeremy then? Everyone else?"

"Clayton's about my age. Dad and Jeremy are already reaching their seventies now. Elena's still in her forties. Karl- you haven't met him yet, is in New York with Noah and Morgan and is about our age too, we've never really gotten an age out of him. Noah and Morgan, very young tender things, a teenager and someone in his twenties. Reece is also in his twenties."

"Like me?"

"No." Nick leaned up to gaze at me. "No. They're different to you. More childish. They're genetic werewolves, not bitten, so they tend to age a bit slower. They'd probably be like teenagers if you counted them in human years. Bitten werewolves seem to slow down only when they've been bitten. So you-" He leaned up, again, mouth finding my neck, tasting it. "-are a woman."

"Sure you're not saying that to kid yourself?" Clayton said from the doorway, arms crossed, gazing at us with a look I couldn't quite place. It wasn't an angry look though, it wasn't mocking or scornful, and when he grinned at Nick, I realised what it was. He was teasing Nick. "She looks pretty young to me." He grinned but I couldn't miss how tense he was, or that he had stains on his dark clothing, stains, dampness maybe, and one hell of a bruise on his face. Whatever they'd been doing in town it had nothing to do with Christmas shopping.

Nick grinned back and yanked me closer, wrapping an arm around me, still very careful to not touch or jostle the shoulder. "She matches my maturity level."

"Gee, thanks." I muttered.

Clayton laughed, sliding onto the bed, yanking Nick out of it with a very quick tug. "_That_ I can't argue with. But _you_ are needed and I think Jeremy was expecting Anne to be asleep by now."

"I'm not tired." At least, I wasn't tired enough to go back to sleep. It wasn't a bad idea to save some sleep for later.

"What am I needed for?"

Clayton's eyes flashed to me, just a moment, before he shook his head at Nick. Didn't say anything else. Nick's shoulders tensed where he sat and he stood up.

"Anne, stay upstairs, no matter what you hear. Jeremy's orders. This is for you." Clayton turned to look at me. There wasn't any anger from last night now. He seemed to have calmed down a lot. But he looked tense, on edge, and he glanced at Nick before he slid a couple of pizza boxes and roll of garlic bread onto my desk, eyes grazing over my drawings, his face softening slightly. Maybe he liked art. I wasn't sure. Then he was gone again.

Nick glanced at me, hesitating. He turned suddenly, literally jumping across the bed to grab me in a hug that included sore shoulder and all, in a big embrace that yanked me off my feet. Teeth grazed my throat, my neck, his nostrils flaring with my smell, and he held me just for a second. I could feel his heartbeat, pounding faster than usual, feel a slight tremble, and I wondered if something was wrong. Before I could ask, before I could look at him better, Nick let go and hurried after Clayton, yanking the door shut behind him.

With nothing to do I slid into the desk in an attempt to draw and eat.

Darkness came outside. I turned on the lamp, glad for the power, and slid open Nick's laptop that he'd left behind. There were two accounts and it gave me a shock to find that the second one was labeled 'Anne'. Had he expected me to open it up? Probably. There was a notepad file on the desktop from him, or maybe it was from Jeremy, stating 'ANNE: NO EMAILS OR CONTACT'.

I swallowed, resisting the urge to break that rule, and went for youtube instead. And suddenly, for the first time in months, I started to bawl my eyes out. All it'd taken was music, music that I hadn't heard for months, and suddenly I was an emotional wreak. Crying, laughing at myself for crying at music that was supposed to be uplifting, and my art changed slightly again.

A cardoor slammed and I went to the window, trying to wipe my face clean with tissues from the ensuite, seeing that Elena and Jamie had the twins and were putting them in the car. Elena glanced up at my window and waved. Then they were driving away.

Antonio's car was there too, parked in a strange position, like they'd pulled up in a hurry and hadn't bothered trying to do it neatly. There was something red against the snow. Blood? That snapped me out of what the music had put me in and I stared at it. What else could be red on the snow? Beetroot juice? Red paint? The snow was scuffled too, very deep gashes in it exposing the mud and grass underneath, like something had been heavy or had slipped. Or was kicking? I didn't know enough about tracking to understand what those tracks were saying.

There was blood on Antonio's car too. I could see it, red against the silver handles, and not just on one part. At least two of the doors had it. How much I had no idea- the car was painted dark and it wasn't easy to see much in the increasing darkness anyway.

Then there was a sound over the music, a blood-curdling yell, a scream that made my hairs stand on end. It was muffled, yes, not near me at all. But there were some sounds that I couldn't ignore. I'd heard them so much, so often, that my body reacted straight away. I first thought it was Pav again, changing, already darting down the hallway to her door without a thought. When I opened the door she was awake, resting, her eyes struggling to focus on where I was. But she shook her head.

"It wasn't me."

No. It was male. I knew that, I knew it was a male voice. I turned as I felt someone come up behind me, heart clammering, a sweat breaking out, blood roaring in my ears. Another scream? A yell? Was that Nick's oath?

"Anne..."

Jeremy grabbed me and hugged me, a tight hug, pulling me into Pav's room and shutting the door behind us. Even in there he didn't let go, holding me until I relaxed, a hand coming up to stroke my back. I'd never been hugged like this before by him, or by anyone besides Nick, and I struggled to relax. To trust.

"It's all right." He was saying, over and over. Still standing there, taller body shadowing over mine, a kind of strength that had nothing to do with muscles or body, and I understood exactly why this man was the alpha.

When my shoulders dropped, Jeremy moved to the bed, sitting us both down, his hands not leaving my arms, eyes fixed in mine until I had calmed down enough.

"How are you, Pav?" Jeremy twisted to place a hand on Pav's leg, his calm gaze in her eyes, and I only saw then that she too was fighting off waves of panic.

"Who is it?" She muttered. Slid up higher, as much as her body allowed, the restraints still against her wrists. "I'm fine."

"Someone following the two of you in New York. He was starting to follow the trail out of the city. It's harsh but ..." He hesitated. Clearly didn't like it much himself. "They know what they're doing down there."

"This is why Elena took the twins away."

Jeremy nodded. I remembered then, remembered the mutt from before, the one that had been killed in the garage. I hadn't thought about him since.

"What happened to the other one? The one Antonio..."

"We took care of it when we could get the car out. You're both not expected to help with that yet. Not as long as there's mutts tracing your scents."

Another muffled yell, so far below us, but so clear to my senses. Jeremy's hand stayed on my leg, warm, steady, secure. I felt guilty then, guilty that he was here, watching us. We were dangerous too. This morning had proved that. What if I had gotten out of the cage while I was like that?

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

"For what?" Jeremy blinked at me as if he wasn't sure what I was talking about.

"You're the alpha. You shouldn't be babysitting us. I... I'm sorry for loosing control."

Jeremy let go of Pav's leg, yanking me closer into another embrace, feeling less like an alpha and more like a father. Grandfather, even, if his age was really in his seventies, though I'd never have believed it. He wasn't a grandfatherly type of man.

"_No_ bitten werewolf has control at first. Even hereditary werewolves only manage because their father's guided them and they struggle just as much. As long as you're both willing to work with us, learn from us, I don't care if you do loose control sometimes." He didn't slide back, kept me there, warm hair tickling my shoulder. When I relaxed, he relaxed, adding, "Even Elena struggled for years. You've both going to learn how to control it. Be patient."

I cringed as the scream came from downstairs.

"Really? Elena had trouble?" That was Pav from the bed where she lay. "She's so strong now."

"She fought it a lot harder, fought the pack, fought me, fought my instructions, and struggled with accepting it than you both have been. Her situation was different, yes, but she learnt to control herself better than most bitten werewolves can. You're both going to end up fine."

"Even if I can't see properly?" Pav muttered.

Jeremy released me then, and reached back out to touch her leg, eyes fixed on her. "You can still see some things and your hearing is perfect. Better than perfect. I suspect it'll become more sensitive than most werewolves get to have. Both you and your wife will get stronger with time. The Russian pack is very aware of your sight problems and are still willing to give the two of you shelter."

"Russian pack?" I blinked, glancing up from the floor, looking at the two of them. "There's a Russian pack?"

"Yes. We've been friendly with them for a few years now. They're the only pack interested in a friendship, most packs in the world like to keep to themselves, and we've accepted some extra help from them." Jeremy shifted up and headed for the door. "I'll get your pizza and we'll all eat in here."

He was gone before I could ask more questions. I turned to look at Pav, her face pale as she heard sounds maybe I couldn't, and I wondered if maybe he was right. Maybe her hearing was more sensitive than mine.

"They wanted to get involved when they found out that a number of the girls were Russian." She said, eyes coming up to meet my face, not quite finding my eyes. I hadn't noticed it before, how her eyesight wasn't quite dead on, like she could see the shape but not the detail. But she looked better, healthier, her skin with a slight bit more color than the days before. "Jeremy has been talking to them about where we'd go if we didn't stay here."

"And your wife too."

"He said they accepted our relationship as mates. We wanted to move to Russia together anyway. If..." She hesitated. There had been a spark of hope there, just a brief one, but Pav didn't seem to be able to finish her sentence. She went quiet.

Jeremy returned with the pizzas and the sketchbook I'd been working on. He gave it to me, apparently so I'd have something to do while I waited, and opened the boxes.

We sat there quietly together and ate, trying to not listen to the sounds, and finally Jeremy went to get the laptop and play music from it. That helped somewhat.

It got to about ten at night when the sound stopped from downstairs and didn't come back. Jeremy lifted his head, Pav's shoulders slumping, and I hesitated.

"Off to bed now, I think. I'll tell you what I can in the morning." Jeremy stood up from where he'd sat cross-legged on the floor, pulling me up with his good arm, and picked up my art stuff for me. He handed it to me with the laptop. "I'll get you a canvas to paint this on if you want."

"I'd like that..."

"Goodnight, Anne."

"Night Anne." Pav called. Jeremy was already walking over to her, yanking a bag open, tugging a big needle out. I cringed and hurried out before I could see what he was doing with it.

Nick stood at my door, looking pale, glancing into it in an apparent attempt to find me, and when I wasn't there, spun around. His eyes were wide until they caught me and he sighed. Relaxed.

"Thought you were supposed to stay in your room."

"Jeremy had us stay in there together."

As I moved closer, I smelt something on him, blood, sweat, and something else. It made my skin crawl. He cringed as I withdrew, as if he'd seen my nostrils flare, and backed up into my room. Nick held out some clothing he'd been holding in one hand.

"Noah and Morgan are downstairs with Reece, sleeping in the living room. So I'm showering and staying in your room tonight."

"Okay."

Nick blinked at me, as if he'd been expecting some kind of argument there. When I didn't give one he shrugged and shut the door behind us.

I climbed into bed again, not even bothering to change, sliding the stuff onto the bedside table beside me. Bedside table clock was wrong, I'd fix that later, it had restarted with the power. I shut my eyes and ignored Nick when he climbed into my bed, sliding up close, but there wasn't anything sexual in it. He just moved as close as he could and relaxed there, heart still pounding, a hand finding mine and fingers threading through it. We fell asleep like that, his fingers clinging to mine, without saying another word.

Morning came and went the next day, a tenseness in the air. There were muttered introductions at breakfast as I met the youngest two pack members, Morgan and Noah, and found that Nick was right. They were both close to my age, and good kids, but they did feel younger to me. Like teenagers. Noah was awkward around me, around my smell, like he weren't quite sure how to take it. Morgan did better, he was calmer, more controlled, but I suspected that if Antonio had been right and I did smell 'good' then it wouldn't be helpful to make friends. Elena and Pav were easier, both had a mate, Elena had children, there were clear boundries there. I didn't have either a mate or children. Did that make me suddenly desired in the supernatural world? That'd be a first.

Nick seemed to make it even more awkward when he hovered around my shoulder, teasing them, making Noah grin but fluster at the same time. It was kind of clear where the pack dynamics were.

Reece was more relaxed with me, calmer, and we chatted a bit about the difference between American football and Australian football. When I said I knew how to kick a footy and even knew the rules, thanks to having nephews, he grinned, promising that he'd get his hands on one and we'd teach the pack how to do _real_ footy instead of their pretend version.

I didn't see Jeremy, Clayton, Antonio or even Elena though. She was still gone with the car, still out with the twins and Jamie, and when I asked Nick, he shrugged.

"Dad's gone back to New York. Elena's friends are in town, Paige and Hope, and I think she was going to bring them back. Jamie's babysitting. Clayton and Jeremy had to go into town for supplies for Christmas. There's a few extra mouths."

That meant that Nick was in charge. He glanced at the young men again, crossing his arms, as if he wasn't really comfortable with this role.

"Last night?"

Nick shook his head and clenched his jaw. Glanced at the young men, who were pretending to not listen, but they clearly were.

"We can repeat last night after breakfast." His voice changed, deeper, husky, fingers trailing across my back. Eyes on the young men, particularly Reece, who didn't cringe but diverted his eyes. It was a show. I wasn't an idiot, I knew it was a show, he was warning them off me.

I stood up and left the kitchen then. I wasn't in the mood for it. Whatever had happened last night wasn't good. Nick could deal with them on his own if he wanted to do some dominance display.

I slid downstairs, down into the basement, feet soft on the stairs. No one had directly forbidden me from coming down here, not this morning, and … I needed to see. Know what was going on. How could I relax till I knew? The stench of blood, urine, waste, it filled my nostrils. It had not been there before. Someone was breathing down there.

It was a werewolf. He lay there, slumped over, blood coating him in the bright light, not quite awake, but not asleep either. I didn't have to look closely to know he'd been tortured. I knew the smell though, knew it from the second I'd picked it up on the stairs, had smelt it so many times over the past ten months that I didn't need to see his face to know who he was.

He was one of the werewolves that ran the operation. Not just one of the young ones, the trackers, he was literally just a few ranks below alpha and who'd had his own 'harem' just beside ours. He was cruel too, sadistic, and brutal. I'd heard the sounds coming out of his hallway, seen him often when he'd come to talk with my 'Master', and they'd openly discussed 'breaking techniques' in front of us. He'd even admired me. The little fat pet, the one that he wished he'd managed to catch, she looked like she'd be fun. A work in progress that'd be a beautiful little achievement. When he'd offered to 'help' my Master didn't seem to mind at all.

His head swung up, eyes foggy, but when he inhaled, he grinned and my heart hammered, fright, aware that he knew exactly who I was.

"We found you."

Hands were grabbing at me then, through the bars, his body launched up off the bed. The hands were mutated, no, they were broken. Each finger snapped. Arms broken. But somehow he still could lift them, could still reach for me, and I felt the back of the basement wall stopping any attempt to get away from those grabbing hands. Of course logically he couldn't harm me, couldn't touch me, he was too injured and too weak. But the hands brushed against my chest, against my stomach, trails of blood left behind, as he did his best to grab on.

I wasn't logical. I was scared, I felt like it was me in the cage instead, and his words kept echoing in my head. Found you. Found you. Found you. Blood filled my nostrils, my ears.

Reece was suddenly there, between us, a boot sending the werewolf flying back into his cage. He took one look at me, yelled something out, and yanked me up the stairs again. I didn't resist. Nick was hurrying towards the stairs, almost barrelling into us, and took one look at me and barked an order which made Reece let go and hurry into the kitchen.

"Shit, woman, I've got to tie you up." Nick was muttering. He took one look at my shirt, now with trails of the man's blood, and swore. Ripped it straight off me and threw it at the fire, apparently not caring if it left me nude or not.

"Sorry."

"If it was me I'd want to see who it was too." He shrugged, yanking his shirt off, and wrapping it around me. The smell it had eased my heart, eased my panic, and I was able to think again.

"He knew me."

"We know. He enjoyed telling us that part." Nick's fingers tightened as he tried to do up the buttons on me, snapping one of them, making him swear.

Noah hesitated as he came into the room, holding out a phone, and Nick took it.

"Hi Jeremy. Yeah, it seems okay, it isn't too bad. She wasn't hurt."

A voice on the other line, firm, I didn't need to hear the words to know it was an order.

"Jeremy says to stay in your room for now." Nick glanced up at me, as if he regretted having Jeremy called at all, wincing slightly. Maybe he was getting told off. I wasn't sure.

I hesitated and when he gestured with his head towards the stairs, sighed. Went back up the stairs and into my room. I could hear him as I went, muttering apologies about forgetting to lock doors, agreeing with something, not pleased.

No one came up all morning. I sat there, trying to draw, trying to play some flash game on the laptop, not sure what to do with myself. The werewolf's words kept echoing through my head. We found you. We found you. As if, they'd found me already, as if they already knew where I was. Was that impossible? Not really. Where else would I go? Coming to the American pack was so logical and so obvious that they'd be idiots to not think of looking here. And, however cruel they were, however sadistic, they were _not_ idiots.

Reece brought lunch up. I was expecting Nick, even looking forward to him, and Reece must have seen my face fall.

"Sorry, shelia. He's on guard duty. Hope I'll do."

"Sorry, yes, I'm glad to see you. I just wanted to know what the hell was going on."

"Won't tell us either. It was the first I'd seen that bloke as well." Reece sat down beside me on the bed and went to eat from one of the plates. "Was he one of the ones you knew?"

"Yeah."

"He made my skin crawl." Reece muttered. He leaned forward, over the laptop, seeing youtube. "Here, watch this, it'll cheer you up." He typed in 'Tassie Island state of mind' into the youtube search engine and sit managed to relax as we watched it, I even smiled, which made Reece smile. "We'll go to Tassie to visit. Sure the Australian pack doesn't bother with that state."

"Probably not."

Reece went back to eating, pushing my plate at me, and I took the hint. Went to eat it too. It was some kind of pasta, filled with premade meatballs, I could tell beause of how damn dry they all were. I'd make some for Christmas, I decided, whenever that was. I glanced at the laptop's little date and blinked at it.

"Christmas is tomorrow?"

"Yep."

"Shit."

"Hope you're ready to cook. Nick's been telling everyone how good you are at it." Reece grinned. "Can't say I'm not looking forward to that."

"Urgh. I'll have to kick him."

"You could but I think he'd enjoy it."

"He probably would."

Reece went quiet, as if he had something he'd wanted to say, but he stopped himself. Shut his mouth and went back to eating.

I tried to finish the plate. My stomach wanted it, dry meatballs and all, but I was still so rattled over earlier. Something about that man made my skin crawl worse than anything else had, for months, and I knew that I had forgotten things about him. Things he clearly had not forgotten. Here he was, at Christmas, like I couldn't even get that single day to relax.

Oh fuck. _Christmas._ "I didn't get anyone Christmas presents."

"No one really thought you would. You don't have too- you're cooking." Reece said that as if cooking could equal presents. Maybe he was right. If I had learnt anything about werewolves in this place, it was that food was one of the most important rituals of the day. Repeated three times a day.

Something else nagged at me then and I blinked. Today was Christmas eve then. They expected me to change tonight. I'd changed yesterday. So soon? Surely they'd been mistaken about that. I didnt' ask Reece, not sure if he'd know, but I would ask Nick. No one was here anyway, when it'd sounded like they'd need the whole pack for it.

Nick's voice trailed up the stairs, to Reece, and he sighed. Stood up. "That's me. I guess I'm doing firewood. Speak to you soon."

He headed downstairs and I heard the front door open and shut a moment later.

I spent the afternoon with Pav, telling her what'd happened, and she didn't seem surprised. She confessed she'd recognised the voice when she'd heard it the night before but Jeremy hadn't wanted her to tell me. Not yet, anyway.

She had me help her to the bathroom to wash her hair and that took a while, it was difficult when she had trouble standing and seeing, but Pav was clearly getting better, stronger, healthier, just fractions every day. When her hair was dry it had gotten back to that long gorgeous hair that would easily be seen in Bollywood, long, thick, dark, and shining, with a touch of lighter brown in it, she asked me to leave her in the bathroom alone so she could clean herself up. With a chair in the shower, water running, I left her, leaving the door a fraction open.

We talked as she washed slowly, at the pace she could handle, and I told her that her hair reminded me of Bollywood.

Pav laughed, voice soft, but the laugh strong. "I worked in Bollywood. Actress. My parents paid for my study, of course, we weren't poor with my mother a lawyer and my father a doctor, but I wanted to save for my own trip to Amercia."

"What movies were you in?"

"A lot. Only in the background. Singing. Dancing. Didn't care about being famous anyway, I wanted to be a nurse, not a celebrity. Om Shanti Om was fun to film, all those old costumes, and how silly everyone got."

"I love that film!"

"You've seen it?"

"Of course!" Well, there was no of course, I was Australian. "I mean, yes, I love Bollywood. I bet they loved your eyes."

Pav's laugh again, strong, coming over the sound of the shower. "No, no, they made me wear dark contacts. Couldn't stand out when I was supposed to be in the background."

"I'll have to watch that film again now. Try and find you."

"Vi hated Bollywood. I used to dance for her, break out at random times, sing songs from movies, and it drove her crazy. It made no sense to her, random dancing, random songs, and the romance that never had any kissing. She never minded my costumes though." I could hear the smile in Pav's voice as she talked over the shoulder, energy seeming to come back further at the memory. "She let me have one Bollywood film a week as long as she got to pick what we ate. Okay, I'm done."

I went back in, as she was wrapping a towel around herself, and helped her back to her room. We walked past Noah as we did, his eyes lingering on the towel covered body a little longer than he should, but she just smiled at him and made him go bright red.

I helped her dress, finding clothing that suited her skin, rich colors and styles that I knew had to at least be partually from India. I sort of envied them, running my fingers over them, until she caught me and laughed.

"Borrow some. Nick bought me too much."

"Nick bought it?"

"Yes. I might borrow some of what he bought you. I don't always wear clothing like this."

"I like this stuff sometimes." I fingered the top, a warm blue, with gold embroidery traced along the edges. It was really just a simple long sleeved top but made from some kind of silk that was warmer than normal. Maybe there was something else mixed in with it.

"Good, wear it as well. I won't stand out as much." Pav tugged an orange top on, reaching for jeans, and with some effort got them on as well. She sighed, looked exhausted, but satisfied as she found a chair and sunk into it. "_Clean_."

I saw sheets then, folded up neatly, and went to strip her bed. She protested, saying she'd try it later, but I shrugged. I knew she was exhausted. She could barely keep her head up. "If I was clean, I wouldn't want to have a nap in a bed that was dirty. You can do it next time."

Pav nodded, relief flooding her face and she slumped back, breathing hard, eyes shutting as she struggled to keep them open. When the bed was changed, I helped her across, and the look on her face when she found clean sheets made it obvious that I'd done the right thing.

"Thankyou. This feels wonderful."

I nodded. "I'll let you sleep now."

"Thanks." Pav was already curling up on her side, eyes shut, breathing slowing.

I backed out of the room and headed for my room, still clutching the top she'd wanted me to borrow. My head turned before my mind registered what it was turning towards, catching Nick trying to sneak up behind me, as if I'd sensed him before I'd realised what it was I'd sensed.

"Hi."

Nick had frozen, hands out, and he stood up looking sheepish. He reached over to yank me to him. "Hello."

"Having fun caring for the younger men?"

Nick scowled as an answer, arms wrapping around me, possessive mouth coming down to kiss me. At the exact same time I smelt Reece, just behind Nick, standing there on the stairs.

"Oi." I muttered, shoving Nick backwards, as I peered past him to see Reece. Reece grinned.

"Jeremy called, Nick, they're about fifteen minutes away."

"Where's the other two?"

"Where do you think? Vanished as soon as I told them Jeremy was going to need help unpacking the car." Reece rolled his eyes. "Something about something else they had to do before he came back."

"Clear up the kitchen then, before he gets here, we'll probably need ever y spare space." Nick's eyes finally left me, glancing backwards to Reece. He sighed.

"Coming?" Reece backed up, just a fraction, and then then hesitated. Stared at the two of us, eyes going from one to the other, before he blinked again. "I'll get it started. Don't be long."

Nick growled softly, the order bothering him, and Reece was gone. He yanked me down into my room and pressed me against the door the second it was closed, kissing hard, pulling me up so that his body pinned me there. It wasn't like usual though, if I'd even experianced it enough to tell the difference, like something was really bothering him.

"Nick..."

"No time to talk. I have five minutes before Reece locates and sends Noah up." Hands trying to undo my shirt, unbutton it, his fingers tense. His face wasn't relaxed, it was tense, urgent, upset. He yanked at it, swearing, and it ripped, buttons flying all over the floor.

"What's wrong?"

Nick froze and exhaled, slowly, relaxing his grip. I was lowered down and he moved to step backwards. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong."

"Nick..."

"I'm having trouble stopping myself."

"From ripping my clothing?"

"From going downstairs and snapping that bastard's neck."Nick growled, hand tightening around the desk, and the wood cracked under it. He glanced sideways, looking down, hand not relaxing. If anything it got tighter, cracking the wood further, his entire arm tensing up. I could almost see him picturing it as the neck itself, cracking it, breaking it...

"Why?"

"He..." Nick's head swung up to me and he stared at me. Blinked. Then he tried to relax, tried hard, breathing a long slow breath out. "He wasn't very respectful of you."

"That's it?" I knew that wasn't all of it. He shut his mouth and shook his head in an attempt to cut me off. "Nick..."

"How much do you remember that one?"

"A lot. He was friends with my Ma- I mean, he was friends with the werewolf who bit me."

"I know. He told me last night. Smelt you all over me. Had great fun telling me everything." Nick's hand was again clenching on the table, eyes refusing to look at me. "Every sick fucking detail. He laughed when Clayton tortured him."

"Is that why he's alive?"

"Clayton decided a swift torture was too good for someone like him." Nick let go of the desk and came to sit beside me, yanking me into his lap, arms tightening around me. His face dug into my neck, inhaling, it seeming to relax him under me.

"What did he tell you?"

"Everything. Even things you won't remember." He muttered. "We'll teach you how to protect yourself. We'll protect you till then."

"I'm not weak." I muttered. Apprehension was filling me suddenly, at Nick's tenseness, at what he'd meant when he said 'things you won't remember'. I didn't remember a lot, yes, but Nick seemed really pissed off. Worse than usual. Nothing he was doing was giving away what it was that upset him so damn much.

"No." Nick's head swung up then, a small smile, pride there as he took me in. "Not weak either. The idiots didn't see it at all. You're smart enough to know when to play weak. Werewolves don't usually know how to do that."

He shifted me in his lap, turning me around, yanking the shirt closed. Without buttons it didn't work well but I still grasped the blue top in my hand and he took that, dressing me, careful to avoid moving my bad shoulder.

I wasn't sure when it'd happened, when I'd accepted him like this, but I didn't flinch even as his hand brushed across one breast, stroking it, a kiss against the bra's edge before it was covered by the top.

"You're thinner than you used to be." He muttered, glancing up at me. "Too thin."

"I'll gain weight with all you're all trying to feed me though."

"Good. All your old clothes will fit you again." He ran his hands around my stomach, along my hips, the trembling less now. When there was a tentative knock on the door he swore at whoever it was. "Go away. We're busy."

"Reece said that Jeremy will be here soon."

Nick tugged the shirt over his head, sudden, somehow getting the whole thing over it. I wriggled ,his breathing against my stomach, as he whispered something about hiding.

"Get out of there..."

"No."

Noah opened the door and stared at us, face going red, muttering apologies for interrupting. He'd backed out of the room as fast as he could.

"You're scaring the young men away."

"Good. You're mine." A growl, a nip against my skin under the shirt, his hands tensing, squeezing. "All mine."

"Since when?"

Nick's head came out then. He blinked up at me and went to answer when he heard a car pull up. There was another knock, Reece's voice this time as he simply said Jeremy was here, but he was already hurrying downstairs as the door swung open.

"Shit. All right. Come on down stairs."

"Thought I was supposed to stay here?"

Nick blinked, and nodded. "Yeah. You were. Okay. I'll see you tonight." He stood up, carefully putting me to one side. He glanced back before shutting the door behind him and heading downstairs.


	4. Christmas

Jeremy didn't come upstairs for well over three hours. Elena was with him, Nick behind, and Nick went to sit on the bed beside me. I got the impression he'd been told to sit there, ordered, because he didn't reach out to touch me, just sat there, staring at his alpha with apprehension.

"Are you ready to change?"

"I changed yesterday though. I don't know if I can do it again. And my shoulder..."

"If it doesn't work, it's fine, if it does, we'll try again tomorrow night. Your shoulder should be fine with it. They heal faster for us and once a dislocated shoulder is put back in, it's generally quick to sort itself out."

Jeremy tugged a chair over, offering it to Elena, who sat down. He shut the door and leaned against it, crossing his arms, sighing.

"I'm sorry you had the shock this morning. Nick was _supposed_ to keep that door locked." His eyes locked on Nick, who cringed, and muttered something about boys distracting him.

"I shouldn't have snuck down there..."

"No, you shouldn't have." Jeremy agreed, voice hard, and I flinched this time. He expression seemed to soften slightly. "Still, with all the noise last night, I suppose it's not surprising you wondered. Do you remember him?"

"Yes."

"What do you remember?"

I told him. Nick stayed still, deadly still, his hands clenching and unclenching.

"There's some things he knows that you've forgotten then. They aren't important for now though. Nick seemed to think you should know but Elena and I decided they weren't as important so he's going to wait."

"Agreed." Nick muttered. He didn't look happy, looked like a child being told off, not a fifty year old werewolf. This was again the pack dynamic thing, the alpha, he couldn't exactly go against it. I didn't think he usually wanted to, he seemed to like direction, seemed to like being given orders instead of being the leader. Today's disaster with the younger males proved that. "I _said_ I agreed, Jeremy."

"I know."

"Clayton's with him again now." Elena spoke up, eyes moving across the two of us, not missing Nick's hand as it snuck across to grasp my hand and tug it into his lap. "But Reece seemed to think he was talking to you, Anne. What was he saying?"

"He said that 'We found you. Ow, Nick." Nick's hands had clenched mine so hard that I cringed and he jumped, letting go of it again.

"Sorry."

"Anything else?"

"No. Just that." How much else did he have to say? It was enough.

"I'll let Clayton know. We'll meet you later." Elena stood up, moving for the door, not able to resist leaning out to whack Nick. The whack ended up being an affectionate stroke, his hand reaching up to grasp hers this time, their hands squeezing a moment. "Coming, Nick?"

"Yes." He stood up and moved to follow her outside. Jeremy watched them go and then shut the door again.

"We can't let you try it again in the cage for a while, for obvious reasons. If you loose control tonight, I have allowed Clayton and Antonio to keep you within our forest and away from the house, which may mean you'd be roughed around a little. You understand that?"

I nodded. Trembled. But I felt an urge already, to run, eyes moving to the window and to the forest outside. The urge to stretch my legs, to run, to just get into that forest...

"They'll avoid hurting you as much as they can." Jeremy added.

"I know. No, I understand. I just haven't really been in the forest for a long time. I don't care if I change or not. I want to try it."

Jeremy nodded and came to sit beside me, leaning against me, just slightly. "I thought you might like a chance to get out of this place."

"How do I change when I don't need to?"

"It's hard to explain. Get on all fours, feel it, feel the wolf in your legs. Feel it in your body. Feel fur. Try and smell the world as the wolf. It takes a little bit of trial and error, everyone's got a trick, but it is doable." He shivered, anticipation, as if he could already feel it himself. "It's easier in the forest. If you learn to control it here, it'll make it easier if you end up in the city again."

I nodded. Jeremy relaxed.

"Are you and Nick using protection?"

The question made me jump. I glanced sideways at him and he stared at me with that look, that 'father' look again, so passive and impartial, like it didn't matter to him either way. He just had to know.

"You know?"

"He told me about you when he met you months ago." Jeremy smiled slightly, eyes fixed on me, attempting to stay stern but struggling. "Wasn't the first time, admittedly, I thought you'd probably be bored, or he would, and by the time you were both in England, more than ready to go different direction."

"I ..." I wasn't sure if I was offended or not. He was honest, matter of factly, like what he was saying didn't really matter either way.

"You're not like the women he usually gets tangled up with. I know. I've met them. My point is, the women he is used to are used to protection. Safe sex. Usually have some way to protect themselves Which is why I'm asking you if the two of you are being safe while he's not around."

"I guess I didn't think of it." When could I? Between arguing with myself that it was okay, or not okay, and having him trying to press himself all over me, there hadn't been room.

"He may have. God knows Nick's got enough experience to know." Jeremy shook his head. "Thought I should ask. I can offer you some condoms if yo-"

"That's okay. I'm sure you're right. He should know." If he was experienced like Jeremy said then clearly that was one thing he should know. "I'm not sure if we're really going to be ...um. Tangled. Anymore."

I wasn't sure either. I had told him that I wanted complications but he'd ignored that, hugged me, held me, kissed me, like some part of him wasn't quite willing to give up the fun stuff yet. But then, he hadn't tried to get back into my pants, exactly.

"That's between you two. Tonight though, if you're able to change, remember... you're encouraged to bite him if he gets a bit too silly." Jeremy stood up. "Dinner's nearly done. Come on down."

I sat there quietly through dinner, watching the younger men tease and joke around with each other, aware that the older werewolves were also eating quietly. There was a tenseness there, in the air, and it wasn't connected with me. The door to the basement was glanced at, from time to time, even though it was shut. Clayton was eating with us, of course, but his eyes were on the cell door instead.

We ran over what would happen tonight when desert came out. It was straight forward- I would go into the forest with Antonio and Nick, as I'd met them first, and they would change and wait for me to change. If I couldn't change then they'd take me for a walk anyway, showing me things, and the rest of the pack would meet us half an hour later. I could then go home, someone would lead me there, after I'd had some time to get used to the way everyone looked when they were changed.

If I did change, then I would have to allow Jeremy and Elena to touch me as humans, to do with me what they liked, without showing aggression. From there, if I was safe, I would get to run and hunt. Jeremy admitted that we wouldn't go far, not like usual, staying within hearing distance of the house and driveway. That way, in case of visitors, there would be ears at all times waiting. That was more than enough for me though. If I panicked, if I fled, then it would be like he said. I would be guarded but left alone, as long as I didn't stray too close to the house or the property boundary.

With plans in place we headed out into the snow, rugged up, plastic bags ready for clothing.

Snow was interesting, I decided, and maybe not as much fun as I'd always hoped. It was difficult to walk in, my feet sinking, and more than once Antonio had to yank me back out. I had to give him credit, Nick's dad, because for a man in his seventies, he could have been a really fit fifty year old. Forty, even, and if he was still called 'one of the best fighters' then it showed just how well those genetics worked.

Nick moved ahead of us, crunching through the snow, clearly knowing where he was going. Occasionally he glanced up, touching a tree, moving closer to a bush, but he didn't seem to need to.

When we reached a little clearing he stopped and glanced back, smile meeting my hesitant one.

"Here we are. What do you think? I could light a candle."

"Looks fine."

"We'll be just a few minutes past there." Antonio gestured towards where two trees stood close by each other, almost growing into each other, making them stand out a little compared to the rest of the growth. "Relax. It'll come."

They moved past me and through the tree. The thick forest in that area shielded them within seconds, but I could hear them, crunching, moving away, their voices low.

Then I took a deep breath and tried to convince myself to get naked. In the snow. It was surprising how little I wanted to do that now. I kind of wanted to just stand there in these warm snow clothes, stare at the forest in the increasing dark, admire it.

I sighed out, slowly, my breath a fog in the cold. Then I started to strip.

There was a blanket there, waterproof, and I took it out to kneel on it on my hands and knees, tucking the bag of clothing beside it, trembling. It was freezing out here. Wind, the occasional flurry of snowflakes from trees, it didn't help concentrating.

What had they said? Feel the wolf. I felt a cold wind up my bum. No wolf. Still, a tail there would be nice right now, and I tried to picture it. It felt so silly to be doing this, kneeling in the snow, stark naked, with the birds and who knew what else gawking at me from their warm bush or nest or tree. I was worried nothing would happen after all.

Minutes crept by. I could hear feet, hear a snuffle, and a low growl. They stayed out of sight, but they could hear me, and I could hear them. Both could probably tell I was struggling. Damnit. I glanced at my arms, trying to remember how it felt to change, how it felt to prickle, itch, how it felt to feel some kind of deeper instinct rise and take over the painful process.

I thought I did feel a tickle then, just the slightest one, in my belly. Was that a cold wind though? I tried to think about it again, how it felt when it started, how it felt when I was getting into it. I didn't feel afraid, which I was glad about, but I didn't feel an urgent compulsion to change either. Was that what I needed?

I tried to urge it, urge that tickly feeling to come back, trying to convince it that it needed to happen. I started to mentally talk to it, my body, talking it into the change. I might have even said it aloud if it wasn't for Antonio and Nick so close within hearing distance.

It started then, slowly, pausing as I felt a flood of relief. I pushed that down and concentrated. Tried to spread it from my tummy all over, my muscles clenching, heart starting to beat faster. Skin crawled, ached, itched, the sensation growing stronger, further, along my back, shoulders, down my legs, into my feet, hands and into my head. Muscles tensed, relaxed, my head dropping, until the sensation was so strong that I knew that I couldn't stop it or reverse it. My body took over and I gave into it, letting it, letting the wolf instinct take over just enough so that this worked.

It hurt. No, it was agony, pure agony, as only such a thing could be, as muscles changed, bones bent and contorted, stretched, shifted, organs moved, changed shape, size, even location. I probably was making noises too, but I was too busy concentrating on staying quiet, and fell onto my side at one point. The change was quicker the more I relaxed, and so I tried to relax, tried ot lie there quietly and just let it do what it knew how to do.

Then, suddenly, it was over. I lay there on my side, panting, eyes shut, a real tail whipping in quick stiff whacks against the blanket. Pain faded and all that was left was the urge to _run_.

But I didn't run. I lay there, inhaled, ears whipping around, taking in everything. It was new, fresh, and I wasn't sure how to cope with it. So many sounds. So many scents in the snow. Snow that smelt so cold, so wet, and the smell of bark in the bushes nearby. The canvas of the blanket under me.

A body flung itself across me in a delighted leap, landing just a few inches from mine, making me stiffen. Nick's scent came with it, the big dark brown wolf twisting around to take me in, dropping to his belly with his tail in the air. His tail wagged furiously, human eyes fixed on me, wriggling around like an excited puppy.

I lifted my head and stared at him. Breathed in, inhaling his smell alone now, smelling everything there, even things I hadn't smelt when I was human. Trust. Security. Safety. Fun. Love. Endless love. Not just from him either. I smelt it from something else nearby, another wolf, who was following Nick at an easy lope across the snow. He fixed me with a look as well and went to nudge against my shoulder, checking it.

I'd forgotten about that. I stood up and stood on it, testing weight on it, finding that it was a little tender, a little uncomfortable, but it felt okay. Nothing I couldn't handle now that I had three other legs that could make up for it.

Nick snorted, wriggling impatiently, and circled around me. Nudged me, hard, before he sped off in a wide circle in the snow, dancing, trying to get me to chase him. I ignored him.

I put a paw into the snow, hesitating, touching it, patting it with my paw. Snow felt so funny. So soft. I could dig into it, and did so, scraping at it with my paw. There were older scents under it, layers of scents, like the snow kept it all preserved. The snow was so deep too, so cold, till it was almost ice at the bottom.

Teeth closed around my hind leg and I was yanked off my feet suddenly, pounced on, Nick's body pinning me down as teeth closed around my ruff. He wriggled, tail whipping across the snow, breathing hard, panting on my neck.

Antonio yanked him off with a low growl, pulling him away, and Nick didn't resist. When I stood, he pressed up against my side, nuzzling into my neck, playfulness giving away into affection. Antonio did the same, slid closer, pressed into my other side. I stood there trembling, almost pinned, almost trapped, but not quite.

I understood when I inhaled and smelt something else coming at us from nearby. Three different scents- Elena, Jeremy and Clayton. Further away, on the wind, I could smell others. Was that Reece? With Noah and Morgan, probably, waiting till they were allowed to come closer. And beyond that, my ears twitched, hearing noise. Music? Bollywood. I could hear Pav's bedroom, hear her listening to music, hear her singing along.

Jeremy and Elena came into the little clearing, still human, and Clayton paced alongside them as a big blonde wolf. He watched me with wariness, teeth slightly bare, a warning that he wasn't going to play now. He was here to protect the alpha and his mate and that was his job until they said otherwise.

I trembled as they stepped closer. Some part of my instinct didn't like it, didn't like to be so caged in, but I recognised them so well by now that even it didn't argue. Without a cage, without bars, it didn't mind. As long as we were free, it was happy to stay calm, because it knew that these ones were less threatening to me than the others had been. Or was it because Nick was here? Somehow his scent, his body, his heartbeat, calmed me in a better way than anything else ever had. It was bizarre- like some part of me, the wolf, was thinking that Nick was here so we were fine. Safe.

"Move back a bit." Jeremy ordered and Nick and Antonio slid backwards. He stepped closer, touching my head, stroking my ears, across my back, shoulders, tail. I trembled, knowing that this kind of touch was wrong for a wolf, but resisted the urge to hide. I knew that I had to trust him. He was the alpha and I could hear his strength, his steady heartbeat, his calm swish of blood in his hand, calmer than I was. "Shh. It's all right." He murmured. "Come on, Elena."

She came to my other side, the blonde wolf close beside them both, and mimicked what he was doing. Two hands started to stroke my rough fur and when he pushed me down, firm, careful, I let him. Let myself be rolled onto my side again, in the snow, let them touch my stomach, my throat, with only the slightest tremble remaining. I didn't like being vulnerable, didn't hands so close to those places that could harm me the most, but I did like these two. I did trust these two.

"Good. All right. We'll change and meet you here." Jeremy stood up and backed off, Elena beside him, before he turned and vanished into the trees with her and Clayton.

I slid to my belly and lay there, feeling the cold snow, though it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been earlier. Inhaled, slow, deep, sighing out a sigh of contentment. The forest was going to sleep around us. Sometimes I heard the movement of a bird, the wriggle of something in a bush, a soft chirp of something else, all animals and birds I didn't know yet. This was something I would have to learn.

Nick tried to nudge me up onto my feet, nudging, ignoring the snort coming from his father. He wanted me to run. I didn't need him to talk to tell me that, his legs were trembling, and he couldn't seem to keep still. I wanted to run too, of course I did, but I wanted to sit as well. Smell the forest.

Three bodies came tumbling through the trees, one after another, in a flurry of snow and play. I inhaled, the three wolves identified as Reece, Noah and Morgan, apparently having been given the all clear. They came for Nick now, like he was the older brother they'd been waiting all day to harass, darting in and out as he whipped around and snarled at them, snapping, trying to warn them away. I watched as he ended up getting caught up in the mock battle, lunging at them, and giving chase when Reece darted off with Noah close behind. Morgan was gone too but with a pause that meant that he could suddenly be on Nick's tail. They vanished into the forest, tumbling, snapping, growling, the four wolves playing as their energy exploded all over the place

Antonio snorted again, moving up behind to stand there beside me.

I stood up and moved forward a few paces, testing my front leg, finding that it didn't really matter as long as the other three worked as well. My back leg did have a slight limp too. Nothing that really mattered, it didn't prevent me from using it as a backup to keep the front shoulder from working too much, so that was good.

The snow really felt funny under my paws. I froze and stood there, trying to figure it out, pawing back at the ground. So soft. So sinky. I sort of wanted to backup onto the blanket again! I bounced up, out of the snow, and found myself sinking a little deeper in another patch up around my belly.

Another big leap, another scramble, and I was finding somewhere that was a little less sinky, a little more stable, probably because it was right beside a bush. When something shuffled in the bush, a startled creature of some kind, it gave me such a fright that I bounded backwards, skidding, nearly tripping over my own feet to get away from it.

Then I slid closer, crawling on my belly, sticking my nose into the bush. Scratch scratch, the thing panicked, like it wasn't quite sure where to go. A _mouse_. Instinct took over, I grabbed for it, killing it with one quick bite and swallowing. So hunting _was_ fun.

Antonio made a sound next to me that almost sounded like laugher. He had been standing there beside the bush, apparently having been scaring it towards me, and he shook his head and twitched his ears around towards the bush again, listening to the growl-tumble-grr-crash of the four wolves darting in and out of the bush around us.

A blonde wolf, Reece came to pounce at me, rolling me over, teeth flashing as he grabbed for my neck. I pushed at him with my paws, finding myself growling, my own teeth finding his neck in return. We wrestled, rolling around, wriggling in the snow, until a dark brown wolf was quick to yank him off me and chase him away again. This of course gave Karl a chance to get close, pouncing at me, inhaling my scent with a tremble, but he darted back as my teeth made a quick snap at a nose getting too interested in that smell I seemed to carry. Karl panted, grinning, then his head lifted as he inhaled again. I did too. I smelt this smell again, this 'bitch in heat' smell, but it wasn't mine. Elena was racing through the bush, a silvery blonde wolf, followed by Clayton who was tearing after her, the two of them chasing and wheeling through the forest, the dark wolf that I knew was Jeremy not far behind the two of them.

I had enough with standing still. The whole pack was here? That meant that I was allowed to run.

I darted suddenly, chasing Nick, teeth finding his back leg and yanking him. He had not been expecting me to move so suddenly, rolling over with a yelp, and before he could match my teeth with his I was gone, darting away, speeding through the trees. I slipped a lot, finding that I still couldn't figure out snow, but I was _running_. Smells rushed past my nose. Trees. Animals panicked, sometimes, but most just ignored me.

Nick came racing after me. In a straight line he overtook me easily, his feet flying in the snow, bumping his shoulder against mine as we ran. I turned, skidding, twisting sideways, and started to dart and weave through the trees instead, finding that I could do _this_ faster than he could. Twist, weave, skid, jump over a bush, an unexpected rock, making it difficult for Nick to keep up. Reece was nearby too, as well as was Morgan, both of them chasing one or both of us.

I stopped when I couldn't hear the house any more and was knocked over into a deep snow drift by Nick, who hadn't stopped, followed by Reece and Morgan, the four of us tumbling into a deep clearing and into a deeper pile of snow.

I crawled out, sliding away from claws and bites, only to be yanked backwards and found myself caught up in a whole new game of wrestling, biting and playing, the four of us wriggling there like a bunch of puppies in the deep snow. Nick seemed more interested in chasing Reece and Morgan away than playing with me. I found myself alone suddenly, as he chased both, chasing them backwards, making it clear who I belonged to.

I lay there, panting, tail whipping again, realising that I knew who I belonged to as well. It was obvious. It had been obvious for a very long time. Some part of me, that human part, didn't like it. Didn't like the speed, the intensity, didn't like the way it went straight to the deepest part of my psyche without the traditional dates, or the wooing, or the silly engagement ring. But now, now that I was the wolf too, I felt it. I felt something else there, a connection, a knowing that whatever Nick was, however older he was, we'd already made the bond on a level deeper than diamond rings, dates or roses could reach. This meant he belonged to me in return, this big dark wolf who occasionally took on a human shape, this doofus who was the perfect target for the younger males because he was easy to tease.

He wriggled back to me, tail wagging, looking pleased with himself at successfully chasing away the younger males. Then Reece pounced him from the side, rolling him over, the two of them dancing and snapping at each other.

I crawled out of the snow drift and made my way onto ground that was a little less deep, a little more solid, shaking myself from head to toe in order to get every last bit of snow off me.

Jeremy appeared then, nuzzling at my front shoulder, checking it as I stood there. I shrugged him off and he seemed to take that as 'I'm good'. He glanced over to where Nick and Reece were rolling around on each other, play fighting for all it was worth, rolling his eyes.

Antonio was on another side of the clearing with Noah, watching them, Clayton and Elena in another section, their bodies pressed close together, two blonde wolves that I could sense were in a kind of harmony as mates that I hadn't achieved with mine.

My human side flared up suddenly at that suggestion. Was Nick my _mate_? This confused me, as a wolf, confused me because it didn't seem like it was a question to ask. Of course he was.

Nick and Reece seemed to realise they'd become the entertainment for the rest of us because they froze, ears twisting around, and tried to get out of the snow without sliding or falling in the deeper parts. It didn't work. Jeremy snorted as they sank, shaking his head, before turning his attention in a direction that I tried to follow. Whatever it was he was picking up, I couldn't, or at least I couldn't figure out which scent it was he was paying attention to. There were a lot around.

When they were gone we headed out into the dark forest.

We hunted. It wasn't entirely successful, given that I didn't really quite get it yet, but it was fun and we spent all night trying it. We kept close to the house, circling around it, and spent most of the time playing, running, with the occasional attempt at hunting. Nick brought me a rabbit at one point, sharing it with me, which turned out to also be a stupid tiny amount for a pair of fully grown wolves.

Then we ended up on a blanket somewhere, a bunch of giant wolves, wrapped up and cuddling into each other, like there was no real care for personal space, curled up against each other, limbs and tails and heads mixed up. There we all fell asleep, one by one, except for Clayton who kept an easy watch over us all, his eyes half closed and ears twisting lazily.

When I woke in the morning, it was early, the sun not quite risen yet, and I could see that nearly everyone had gone. Nick was there, arms wrapped around me, Clayton and Elena's feet going one direction into the bush, the others having headed towards the sounds of the house. It was a car that'd woken me, the sound of someone pulling up. I sat up and inhaled sharply as freezing air replaced the warmth of inside the blankets.

"Sleep more." Nick muttered, reaching over to yank the blanket over one half of me, the warmth of the cocoon coming back to enclose around us. "Silly Australian."

"There's a car."

"That would be Hope, Paige, Lucas, Savannah... hope you're ready to be social." Nick yanked me tighter as I wriggled, yawnking, shaking his head. "I'm not. Too tired. They can start breakfast."

"We're naked. Alone." I could feel him, his hard body, rubbing against mine and flushed. Of course we were. What else would we be?

"Yes." Nick ducked his head under the blanket, taking in the sight, ignoring my attempts at yanking him back out. When his head did come out he grinned, a big grin, not hiding his approval of this at all, while hands sneaking over my skin. "We're also naked. And alone."

"Oi." My hands were to quick to block his, grabbing onto them.

Nick leaned down, fingers threading through mine, using the sudden grasp to yank me under him. Dark curls came down to hide the snow, his face hovering over mine, warm breath against my face.

"Yes?"

I felt a knee slide between my legs. Then the other.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Getting comfortable." He slid his knees up, eyes fixed on me, before one leg was moved so that the knee was beside my hip, instead of my legs, and then the other, his hips close enough to brush something hot and hard against my stomach. Nick moved up higher, his body hovering over mine, hands pinning my hands down on either side of my head until he came to sit on my stomach. "See? Very comfortable."

I stared up at him and he grinned, letting go of my hands, and went to stroke himself. His eyes fixed on my face, on my red cheeks. This view of him showed _everything_.

"Like the view, little Australian?"

I swallowed and stared. How could I do anything else? There it was, in all its glory, his long dark fingers teasing himself, and I could see it for the absurd looking thing it was. He didn't shut his eyes, even as his breath hitched, just sat there and stroked himself. I was going to say that, that it looked absurd, but I couldn't. It was him. However funny it looked, however not pretty it was, it was apart of him and I found myself with the urge to touch it as well, stroke it, explore it with my fingers. There was a apart of it that throbbed just the slightest bit more than the rest of it. Was that sensitive?

My eyes went up his belly, up his hips, up his stomach, taking in his beautiful body, the natural warm tan of his skin, and the warm brown eyes locked into mine, and inhaled. He was, even that absurd looking part of him, the most beautiful man I'd ever met. And it turned me on. That shocked me, that just looking at him could do this, but it was. My body was responding to the sight with a deep warm ache.

My body loved it. Loved the view. It was as good as if he was stroking me with those fingers, this view of him, that intense stare, that easy grin, and the intimacy of the moment.

"You're _beautiful_." I said, sounding breathless, was breathless, partly because he was sitting on my stomach.

Nick's face froze then, a kind of emotion flooding through it, and he didn't laugh. He didn't tease. I was sure he'd heard something like it before, over and over, so I wasn't sure why he seemed to be so surprised to hear it.

"You want strings attached?" He said, finally, his hands dropping from his erection, warmth still flooding his face.

"Yes."

Nick tugged the blanket edge, ripping it, his attention turning to it. Slowly he undid threads from it, yanking, before leaning down to grab my right hand. Slowly, carefully, he shifted his body to behind mine, and bound up our right hands, his hand over the back of my hand. The string would be easily snapped like that.

"There. Strings attached." His hand grasped mine, yanking my back against his chest, legs hooking around mine, our joined hands against my stomach.

I felt him thrust into me then from the side, a slow shallow thrust, his hips moving to cover mine, and I didn't fight or protest. I lay there, eyes shutting, breathing in and out faster as his body finally came back to reconnect with mine. His hand, still over the back of mine, still attached to my wrist, used my hand to stroke the sensitive nub there, fingers threading through mine as he guided my palm.

Suddenly he was shifting us, moving me onto my stomach, and grasped my hips with his hand, and our joined hands. I felt my hips lift, knees moving up, bum going in the air, before he was back over me, thrusting again inside me, a low growl as he got deeper now, further, bent over me. I moaned, eyes shutting, while he bent across my back, teeth finding my shoulder.

Our hands were there again, suddenly, between my legs, stroking me as his hips moved back and forward, claiming me with thrusts that were slow, very slow, deeper, grinding as he moved, his left hand cupping my breasts and playing with them. Heat was fogging my mind, distracting me from how the snow was digging into one of my legs, and the need for him to move. He was moving too slow.

"_Faster_."

Nick laughed, through his moans, teeth nipping at my shoulder, but he obeyed. Suddenly he was moving fast, grinding against me, as deep as his body could reach, low groans and growls and pants vibrating against my back, my own returning his. It wasn't just sex, it was being claimed, and I loved it. I trusted him, trusted him to stop or slow down if I asked, knowing that it wasn't just about him here.

His fingers pressed against my sensitive skin between my legs, still pressing my palm there, and I felt the strange sense of what it felt like to be penetrated from the outside, my fingers brushing against his erection as it slammed into me, dampness covering my fingers. My body was throbbing as hard as his, blood pounding in my hips, a tension building.

I cried out, my voice echoing around the clearing, as my body exploded with pleasure, lower body collapsing onto the rug, spine arching, my free hand clawing at the snow.

Nick came then, bent over me, his own cries joining mine in the forest as his body came just a minute after mine, heat dripping down my thighs onto the blanket.

He collapsed onto his side beside me, yanking me down, arms wrapping around mine. The flimsy string was still holding our hands together.

"Do all werewolves like that one?" I tried to tease. Tried. I had clearly liked it too. My shoulder hurt and when I glanced at it, I saw where he'd bitten a little too hard, tiny drops of blood against the pale skin. Somehow that didn't bother me either.

"It's not a tradition. Still- " He kissed the place where his teeth had dug in a bit too much, fingers squeezing my palm, "-I think we could try that one again."

"Now?" I thought he meant now. His hips were already grinding up against mine again. I wondered how long it'd take before he was ready for another...

Nick laughed, shaking his head. "Not on Christmas morning. The kids will send out search parties." Teeth came to graze my ear as he murmured, soft, "We've got all afternoon though."

"I'm cooking dinner. Remember? I think Reece said you'd been boasting about that."

"Fuck."

We lay there, reality seeping back into our foggy minds, the light getting stronger. Then he sighed, gently unwrapping the string that had held our hands together, careful not to tear or rip it. I stood up as well, my legs shaking a bit.

Our clothing was there. Nick's was still where he'd left it, a few minutes walk away from my stuff, so he took off into the snow, muttering and stumbling as he tried to navigate the cold wet white stuff in the nuddy.

I waited for him and we headed back together, his warm hand clutching mine through the mitts, shoulders bumping against each other on the unsteady ground.

"You're beautiful too." He muttered, after a while, as the house came into view. Several new cars were parked around and the smell of food hovered around the house. Nick paused, yanking me back out of view of the house, behind a tree.

"Uh huh." I flushed, trying to shrug that off, not even entirely sure it was true.

"No, you are. You're a little too bony now," He pinched my arm, my wrist, hand sneaking under my waist to where my hip was, but Nick's mouth pressed against my mouth. "But you're beautiful. And you're mine."

That word again. I shuddered, the word stirring up something insecure, something young. Afraid. I remembered what Jeremy had said about him earlier. "One of your many?"

Nick blinked. He hesitated, glancing towards the house, and yanked us back a bit further. "I've had lot of lovers. I'm not going to lie about that. I love women, I love a good time, and I've been having a good time for thirty years."

My face tensed, heart sinking, arms crossing, feeling a kind of strange sadness at his words. I knew that, somehow, he knew my body better than I did. It sounded like he was making excuses for having a good time.

"This is why I wanted strings attached." I turned, moving around the tree and making for the house. A hand grabbed me and yanked me backwards.

"No, come back here. I'm not done." Nick shook his head. "Clayton was my brother but he didn't see the human world the same way. Didn't want to date anyone, didn't want to drink, didn't like parties, and I kept trying to get women for him, for years I tried, thought he didn't know what he was missing out on."

"Random sex partners with no morning after?" I muttered.

"Not that. Well, yes, something like that, but that's not the point. The point is, then one day he calls me, and tells me that he's engaged. He had years of rejecting every single human women ever interested in him, and there were _a lot_, but suddenly, he's engaged."

"He and Elena love each other. What's strange about that?"

"I know. My point is that I didn't get it, even when he told me that he knew she was his mate. He told me that he knew her from the first day, from the second they talked, the second he smelt her, and it didn't matter that she was a human. Clayton knew. So he bit her to make sure Jeremy couldn't send her away. She didn't get any warning about that and she rejected Clayton for over a decade after for it." Nick's eyes darted to the house beyond the tree, off me a second, his voice lowering when he got to the part about her being bitten. I hadn't known that was how it was. I knew that her creation had inspired the people behind the kidnapping, somehow, but not the story there. "I was angry with him too for a while. I didn't get it. I love Elena, she's my sister, but those ten years after he bit her, I struggled with that. When it came to her anger over being bitten, I was on her side, I thought he'd done the wrong thing too."

"Clayton know that?"

"Of course he does. I don't hide anything from him. He waited for her. For ten years. Just waited, like it was natural to wait, and started wearing a wedding band. So I accepted what he wanted, even if I thought he'd lost his chance, it was Elena was the last person to accept him back again."

"What's your point?"

"I get it now." Nick's eyes finally found mine then, his warm brown eyes locking into my grey-blue ones. "I knew I'd be bringing you here after an hour on the plane with you."

"Nick!" A voice came from the door then, cutting him off, making him grimace. Antonio's feet were coming in our direction. "The pres-"

"Five minutes." He didn't yell, didn't swear, but his voice cut his fathers off with a kind of strength that made Antonio freeze. I heard him turn and walk back to the house without another word.

"Nick, we have to go inside." My heart was starting to beat faster. Not with love, or affection, but with fear, because the look on his face was going to go somewhere that was too vulnerable, too scary for me to face.

"Not yet. Anne. I couldn't exactly tell you that after a day, or four, or even after the cruise, but I was going to bring you back to America after the cruise and bring you here. Introduce you to Jeremy. Then I saw some man groping you like a horny oversized monkey and..."

"You decided to move on and find a new woman."

"I would have killed him if I stayed." Nick's face was tight, tense, and I knew he wasn't lying. "I had to leave. Then you were gone the next day, leaving half your things behind in the hotel room, and I figured you'd just moved on. I didn't find a new woman though. Told you, the second I realised I wanted you, I just didn't find other women attractive. Just worked for months. Ask my father. He even offered to buy me Viagra for my fifty first birthday- thought it was a different kind of problem." He grinned, a quick tense grin, trying to get me to laugh. I didn't. "I'm trying to tell you that there's no others. No women. There won't be, there can't be, and you've got the whole damn ball of yarn for string waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

"You to love me back. I love you."

There it was. That word, that made panic flare up, and claustrophobia cloud in. I wriggled out of his grasp, pushing his hands as they made new attempts to hold me. "That... I can't ..."

"You've been doing it already." Nick caged me in, arms holding onto branches, but he was careful to leave room for me to duck out. I tried to relax, breathing hard, heart beating so hard I was sure it was trying to break my ribcage open and make a run for it. He inhaled sharply, probably picking up the fear, and added, his eyes narrowing, "What's wrong with love?"

"I -" My jaw stayed open, words failing me. It was scary. Dangerous. Part of me wanted him to stay a _womaniser_, that cheat, the one who'd betray me, it was _easier._ Why now? Why on Christmas? Why did he have to say it right now? Why not at my funeral?

"I am _not_ one of the werewolves that hurt you. I'm not going to force you to feel anything. All I'm saying is that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Far as I'm concerned, you've been my mate for months, now that you're home, I'm not going to let anyone touch you against your will again."

I didn't know how to answer him, just stood there, my jaw opening and shutting. One half of me, the half that was the wolf, didn't understand what I was so upset about. Hadn't we just agreed he was my mate during the run?

"Come on, Dad's probably wondering what we're up to." He sighed, shaking his head, like he had given up waiting for me to answer him.

"No." I muttered. Slid down to sit on the snow, cold and wet or not, and wrapped my arms around me. He'd hit me with a giant slap of scary feeling crap and now he wanted me to go into a house that was full of near strangers? But not just strangers. Someone else was there, in the basement, probably still alive, aware of me everytime I entered that house. I could cope with the idea usually. Right now...

"Okay. We'll stay here." Nick moved to sit beside me, hesitating a moment, but when I didn't push him away, he wrapped an arm around me. "You okay?"

"I don't know."

Nick went quiet.

"Why now? Why did you tell me this all now?"

"Figured you already knew. Everyone else does."

"What?" I turned to look at him, a fresh wave of panic, "You told them?"

"They figured it out without needing me to tell them. Clayton finds it hilarious." Nick grinned, rolling his eyes, his hand gently stroking across my shoulder. I was trembling. "Come on, you're acting like I told you that we're kicking you _out_, not that I told you I love you."

"How long did you know?"

"Told you. After an hour on the plane with you. Couldn't believe my eyes when you just appeared, all panic and blood and werewolf scent, I thought I'd worked too hard and had lost my mind. I just stood there like a stunned fish.. Lucky Dad was there- I might have still been stunned while you were being drugged and carried out again."

"You could have probably helped better, yeah." I remembered that. It felt like a month ago, not a week, remembering that it had been Antonio to knock the tracker down. Not Nick.

"I would never have bitten you against your will. If you'd wanted to stay human, I wouldn't have cared."

"I know." I did know. He was a lot of things but he wasn't cruel. Would I have chosen to try it? I wasn't sure if I would have. I felt his mouth press gentle kisses against the side of my face and didn't push him away. "What happened to your mother"

Nick shifted closer, tugging my legs over his, so that I was half in his lap. All his actions were careful, eyes focused on me, every sense used to make sure he didn't overstep any boundaries. He said, very softly, very carefully, "Before Jeremy women didn't have much value. They had the pack's sons, so we had more heredity werewolves, but didn't live here. Didn't stay. Most would impregnate a woman, then turn up and take the child away a few years later. Even after Jeremy, there weren't really any women, the pack had never really known how to involve them. Elena was the first woman here and she's been changing that. My mother-" He paused. Sighed, leaning up to play with my hair, still pressing small kisses against my cold face. "- I know more than most know. Please, don't tell anyone what I share with you, it's better if he doesn't know that I know. Dad and my mother were just teenagers when she had me. Dad was different to the other werewolves at that time and he loved my mother. He still goes to see her, even after all these years, watches her with her grandchildren, hasn't wanted to have any others since her. I followed him once and saw her."

I leaned into his chest, feeling his heart speeding, his breathing quickening.

"I didn't talk to her." Nick's body relaxed when I made closer contact, but his throat still swallowed, constricted by something in it. "She looks like me. I have half sisters and brothers. They have children. All this family that Dad could have had but he couldn't."

"Because women weren't involved in the pack?"

Nick nodded. "Not when he was young. I think he would have had her with him for the rest of her life if he could have. She married, had another family, and I … sometimes I wonder if I could talk to her. But I think that would be too hard on everyone. Explaining why I look so young, why my dad looks so young, when she's an old woman now. Talking to her. It's easier on my father to pretend I don't know who she is. Look." Nick fumbled around, tugging out a small wallet. He held the string, now wound up, and moved it aside to show me some photos of an old woman, dark hair, with a face that could have stolen Nick's eyes, Nick's jaw, his neck.

"She _does_ look like you."

Nick's arms closed around me, tight, hard, and not saying a word.

After a while he tucked the photo and string away, hidden in the wallet, before fumbling for something else.

"Here." He pushed it into my hand, a tiny wrapped present. "Merry Christmas."

I opened it and found a thin silver ring, holding one white stone, ablaze with different colours, and lined with smaller sparkling clear stones. It was simple, just the silver holding the larger one in place, the smaller stones lining along the edges in something like a flower.

"I got it for you months ago. Australian opal. You were gawking at it in a window for a while in a hippy store so I had someone add these," His fingers touched the circle of small sparkly one, "to the side. For luck."

"What are they?" I suspected I knew the answer already though.

"Diamonds. I didn't think you'd care they're small."

"They're _huge_ to me." A ring with a diamond?

"Marry me?" Nick laughed, awkwardly reaching up to rub his hair. "Ah. I'm supposed to show you this after I ask ,aren't I."

"Tha-"

"Don't answer. I told you, you've got as much time as you want. Just hold onto this." Nick tugged my mutt off, sliding it onto a finger, grinning as it seemed to be a bit loose. "You've lost too much weight. Your fingers were thicker when I measured it."

"Ten months ago."

"Yes. I decided on this months ago. Had it all planned. Paid big money to get you into some resturant in England you wanted to go to, the fat... something, and managed to get us in. All vegetarian-" He paused, laughed, leaning forward to bite my neck "- for you, which was expensive all over again because they didn't generally do that, and then we'd go watch Bollywood at a cinema, then dancing. Then I planned on bringing you back here. Home."

"Nick..."

"We can still go to the fat place if you want."

"No, Nick. I fell in love with someone there."

Nick's entire body, which had relaxed, went stiff and he almost tipped me off his lap. His eyes narrowed. "Who?"

"_Him_. My owner."

Nick growled when I'd called him that, the man that'd captured me, his hands tense around my back. "You're not owned by anyone, Anne, not even me. Anyone that tries to tell you otherwise doesn't care."

"I don't love him now." I didn't know why I was telling him this. Maybe he deserved to know how fucked up I was since whatever it was we'd done months ago, that I wasn't the same person. If he was going to love me, if he was going to keep this up, he deserved to know how fucked up I had gotten. "He just... I thought he was going to rescue me."

"You were in a cage being treated worse than an animal. Of course you wanted to be rescued." Nick was pushing the mitt back on my hand, hands white with the effort, leaving the ring where he'd put it. "_You_ rescued yourself. He..." He gritted his teeth. "I know what he was like. His friend, in the basement, told me. I know that you _thought_ you loved him. He told me that yesterday too."

I blinked at him. "He did?"

"He told me everything. I don't care what you had to do there, or what they made you do, or what they tricked you into feeling. From now on, you're mine. And I'm yours. No owners, no masters, just equal partners. We defend each other." Nick grabbed me close, yanking me all the way into his lap now, wet bum and all. He reached down to stroke it, shaking his head, grinning slightly. "And get each other wet."

"You like doing that." It was a joke and it was coming from me. I blinked at it, surprised at myself, but he laughed. Slowly he was relaxing again.

"Yes. I like getting you wet."

"I'll keep the ring on. Just don't make a big fuss in there." I couldn't say the love word yet. Not out loud, anyway, even if I did know already, even if I had figured it out. It was too much to say it aloud. Too strange. Human courtships didn't usually go this fast.

Nick blinked at me. Then he grinned wider, grabbing me, knocking me onto my back as he pounced me. His mouth found mine, eager, increasing in strength when I returned it. "Good. Come on. I'm starving."

We headed in to find the entire house a disaster zone. Paper was everywhere, boxes, and there was toys littered from one end of the house to the other. Elena was trailing after the mess with a bag, trying to get through it, and she smiled a tired smile at us. She looked like she was already ready for a nap.

"You missed the twins opening presents." She sounded like she almost envied us, almost, but she was smiling warmly. "Never seem them so excited. You both all right?"

Nick tugged the mitt off my hand before I could stop him, holding up my hand, the ring glinting far too much. "Just had to give her a Christmas present."

Elena blinked at it, eyes going from me to him and back again, like she couldn't quite believe it.

"Speaking of Christmas..." Nick let go of me, squeezing my hand, and moved over to sweep her up in a big warm hug, mouth kissing her hard, laughing as she wriggled. He let her go and stepped backwards."Mistletoe."

"There's no mistletoe."

"Oh, my mistake." He laughed, bent down to pick up handfuls of colorful papers. "Anne, get me some breakfast? I'll help Elena out."

"Okay." I moved past him, ducking paper, finding two women already in the kitchen. One was holding a baby, a small dark haired woman, who reminded me of Pav. She was trying to feed the baby, who was struggling to keep attention, while the other was staring at the dishes in the sink as if she hoped they'd just fall into a void and vanish.

Jeremy's arm snuck around me, yanking my hand up, and he took one hard look at the ring Nick had left on my finger.

"Looks like he finally gave it to you. Paige, Hope, this is our new female werewolf. Anne. Anne, this is Paige and Hope." He smiled, squeezing me, and released me.

After introductions, we got distracted by cleaning, which had to done before any more food could be brought out for more breakfasts. Nick and Elena had to eat as they cleaned up, trying to tell the difference between paper, wrapping, containers and toys, the twins darting in and out of the kitchen with objects, other random members of the pack coming in and out trying to get more food. I had to give Hope credit, for such a tiny woman, she could chase those giant werewolves out with the most deadly look I'd ever seen. Power of a new mother? We didn't get to talk much as we both cooked and cleaned, except for grumbles about how it was the women in the kitchen and the men were off somewhere, but I did learn that Hope's baby was the son of the werewolf I hadn't yet met. Karl in New York. After a while Paige had to give up cleaning to help Elena and Hope had to retreat upstairs with her baby, the noise too much for the baby. I wasn't alone in the kitchen for long though.

Jeremy and Antonio appeared again to help me wash the last of the dishes, get the table cleared, and get some kind of quick lunch out into the living room, before chaos came back to the kitchen in the form of a hungry stampeding pack. Just as we'd put out the last tray of cold lunch stuff, we heard yelling from the basement, which had Jeremy vanish, before everything suddenly went quiet down there. He didn't explain what it had been. I suddenly wondered where Clayton was though. I hadn't seen him since last night.

Then suddenly, lunch was over, and I found myself alone. In the kitchen. Aware that somehow the task of cooking the entire dinner had fallen onto me.

I was trying to get things out when Jeremy appeared, soon followed by Reece, Noah and Morgan, the three of them looking sheepish as if they'd been avoiding work and had been caught out.

"Need some help? I've got three volunteers for you."

"I would love some help."

"Do everything she tells you." Jeremy fixed them with a hard look, waiting till they nodded, before he was gone again.

The afternoon was chaos, as much as the morning had been, but at least I seemed to be able to direct it somehow. It was kind of amusing to have them scrambling to follow orders, doing their best to avoid being seen as they tried to sneak mouthfuls, continually having them wash their hands when I caught them with their fingers in their mouths. Enough roast potatoes for a small army were steamed, so that I could cook them quickly after the meat was done, meatballs rolled, sauces mixed,vegetables sliced up and steamed as well. Luckily Jeremy had been thoughtful enough to buy things that were 'quick cooking', some things pre-packaged, I appreciated that he'd thought ahead. I might have liked to cook stuff from scratch normally but there were so many mouths here, most of them werewolves, that I doubted I had a kitchen big enough to do anything properly. Desert was easy, already made, a few things just needed a little bit of heating in the microwave. No problem.

Paige reappeared just as I was about to loose my mind with trying to balance things, and with her assistance, we managed to get it moving faster. With her was a young woman, who introduced herself as Savannah, and between the two of them managed to get a table set up complete with drinks, sauces and everything else needed.

I was enjoying it though. It reminded me of previous Christmases, not quite as crazy, but with as much energy, family running around, nephews, my sister, my parents, and it made me feel both completely at home and somehow extremely homesick.

By the time we all made it to the dinner table, food and all, I was just about ready to collapse and sleep. Pav had made it down, and was sitting propped up, but she was laughing and able to talk more than I seemed to be able to. Maybe it was I was tired, the reason that I didn't talk much, content to listen and eat, but I just couldn't really get into the lively conversation. Conversations were being thrown across the tables, people getting up to get at different plates of food, wine and alcohol, the entire house worth of people stuffed into the small living room next to the Christmas tree.

My mind was still half on what was under the house. It was hard to concentrate on anything else, even with all these people, with who sat under the house.

We found you.

Nick's hand tended to find mine when I got too quiet, or when I stopped eating, fingers wrapped through mine.

Desert was a struggle, even for werewolves, and when it was done, there were bodies everywhere. Groans. Grumbles. They grew louder when Jeremy announced that the who hadn't cooked or cleaned that day now had to wrap up leftovers and clean up. Clayton, who had appeared for dinner, the twins ahead of him, Nick, Antonio, Jeremy and Jamie all vanished, struggling, as if they were about to collapse and pass out on the floor.

I found a part of the couch that wasn't occupied, not resisting when Reece snuggled up to me, finding that somehow I was fine with this. It was not sexual at all, just two exhausted bloated werewolves, Noah on his back on the floor, Morgan beside the fire with a new book, Paige reading something as well, and Hope just sitting and gazing into the fire. Hope's eyes would occasionally go downstairs, as if she was aware of what it was there, and I wondered what it was that she was. Jamie was a necromancer, Paige was a witch, was Hope something as well? Pav was talking with Hope as they sat there, the two of them discussing books.

"Good job." Reece murmured,as he patted his stomach, yawning as he tried to talk. "Think you better cook dinner every night."

"I think I need to sleep for a year to do that again. Thanks. I couldn't do it without any of you." I sat up slightly, directing it to Morgan and Noah too,before collapsing back. So tired.

We listened to the twins complaining as they were made to clean up, Elena not going to Clayton's help. She made some effort at one point, trying to get up, but collapsed back and prodded her stomach.

Then when Clayton was clearly struggling to get them out of the kitchen again and upstairs to get ready for bed, she sighed, got up, and headed upstairs.

I got up as well, quietly slipping past the kitchen, moving for the door to the basement. No one had expressly forbidden me from going near it, exactly, even though I suspected that if I asked the answer would probably be a no. But I just ...I didn't know what I was even going to it for. To see what was there? I wasn't even going to go downstairs, just to the door, just to listen. Smell. It was impossible to relax when I knew that things were happening, things only a few metres away, relax when other things were potentially coming closer. Maybe the others could sit and relax in the living room, talking about some kind of small talk, but how could I do that?

"You looking for something?" Clayton's easy American drawl came from behind me at the exact same second as my hand brushed the door handle.

I turned around to shrug, letting go of the handle, doing my best to not look guilty. "No."

"Good." He fixed me with a look, before reaching past me to lock the door, eyes kept on me. "It's Christmas. Business can wait for tomorrow." Clayton's eyes went down to my hand, a smile twitching on his lips, as he took it and inspected the ring on it. The ring had seemed tiny before but now it seemed like everyone had seen it. I had to resist the urge to hide it in my pocket. I was wearing it for Nick, knowing it made him pleased, but this was a bit much. Clayton held it up and glanced back over his shoulder to someone just out of sight. "About time."

Antonio moved into sight then, taking it in as well, his own face relaxed. "Agreed. Thought he'd never calm down."

"This mean you're staying with us in America?"

"I guess so." I nodded, swallowing. "I don't have anywhere else."

Clayton nodded, relaxing, and leaing forward to hug me. It was a bit awkward, a bit close, like he wasn't quite used to doing this with someone who wasn't Elena, but he made an effort. I suspected that this wouldn't happen, if I wasn't a werewolf, and if I hadn't agreed to stay here in his family. Then he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, another around Antonio's, leading us both back into the living room.

I slid back into the spot beside Reece as Jeremy went to unlock one of the cupboards and tugged out two large black garbage bags. Carefully he tipped them under the tree, a bunch of small and large presents tumbling out.

"Adults get their presents after the twins go to bed." Nick squeezed into the space between me and Reece, shoving him playfully to one side, till I was wedged against the armrest and Reece was elbowing Nick and trying to push him back off the couch.

"There's no room for you here." Reece muttered, grumbling, trying to shove Nick off.

"Fine, I'll sit here." Nick moved to sit next to Elena instead, wrapping an arm around her and settling in.

Presents were handed out. I yawned, exhausted, trying to stay awake. It was getting difficult. Last night had been a long run, then up all morning cleaning, then all afternoon cooking, a heavy dinner in my stomach. When I was handed a present I blinked at it, sleepy. Jeremy smiled, moving back to the tree, continuing to circle around with presents.

As the evening went on, I ended up with paints, canvas, clothing, books, and various foods like chocolate and cookies. I felt guilty that I hadn't been able to give anything back but, as Jeremy reminded me when I tried to apologise, I had cooked.

It wasn't long before I couldn't take it. I said goodnight, heading upstairs and passing out as soon as I found the right bed.

I dreamed.

_It was the pack. I was being led to them, laughing, joking with someone, we were going to swim together. It was so at ease, so peaceful, there was no fear, no horror, just the pack and I was apart of it. Safe. Protected. Loved from all sides. I didn't see their faces, which didn't bother me, because I knew they were safe. I didn't need to see their faces._

_I saw them in the distance, deep in the water, splashing and playing, laughing. The person leading me to them was ahead of me, as they played, swimming ahead, only something else caught my eye as I started to swim._

_Whales._

_Beautiful whales. I loved whales, had since I was a little girl, loved their songs, their movements, had always wanted to see whales. And there they were, swimming free in the ocean near us, distracting me._

_The pack were calling to me now, laughter gone from their voices, trying to call me to them. I ignored them. I felt a yearning to see the whales and swam towards them. They yelled louder, tried to follow, but I continued to ignore them, I yearned to see the whales, had to, I felt so strongly that I was their kin._

_And then the whales changed. They were monsters now. Teeth, sharp and biting, and bloodthirsty eyes, whales that put two girls against each other in a fight. I was watching them from where I floated, so far from the pack, so vunrable in the ocean. The two girls had to fight. The whales made them fight. _

_And then suddenly, without warning, one of the girls slipped. The other girl, her eyes dark, not focused, slammed her fist down on the fallen girl's hip, hard, over and over, breaking the fallen girl's hip with strength that was not human. And the other girl, she screamed, collapsed, her dazed eyes meeting with mine..._

_It was me. Pain flooded through my hips, blood, my own blood, filling my nose, unable to fight back, drugs dulling my mind, my responses, as the other girl continued to attack like she was mad, her body going dark as her muscles started to ripple and contort, her own pain lost under her rage. Again, and again, and again... she was trying, bloodlust in her eyes, but it was all human bloodlust, human madness, and I knew that she would kill me. Slowly. Breaking every bone. The laughter, from the men watching, it was provoking her. She wanted to survive, wanted to please them, wanted to be the one to win this. Something was sticking out of my hip. Was it bone? I had to take my eyes off her just a second to see, panic at that new problem, but no. It wasn't a bone. She'd just jabbed something into it,some kind of object, as if breaking the bone wasn't enough._

_Then she was shot. It was so sudden, so unexpected, so cruel, that I saw the betrayal in her eyes, the hurt, and felt my own heart break for her. She stood there over me, her arms covered in my blood, hands trying to cover the gaping hole in her chest, a bloody bubble coming out of her mouth as she tried to talk. They laughed at her._

_The dream shifted again, the scene falling apart as the laughter kept going, cruel mocking laugher, and suddenly it was replaced by the sound of thudding music. Blood, I was still looking at blood, but it was on fingers. The laughter echoed in my ear, another hand grasping my arm with an iron grip._

"_Bleed for the pretty werewolf."_

_I couldn't move. All I could do was sit there, I couldn't even struggle when he plunged those fingers back inside me, far too rough, a stab of pain again as he deliberately stretched me wider. Too soon, it was too soon. Still, I couldn't move, like I was paralysed. I couldn't even talk._

"_Let him smell who got here first." A hand grabbed my face then, turning it to look at something, fingers digging into my jaw so hard that tears pricked in my eyes. My gaze was directed up from the chest I'd had to look at, past men's bodies, and to someone who looked familiar in the dim lighting. Nick was standing there, his hand clenched around a glass so hard that it was at danger of shattering, staring at us with such a look of anger and betrayal that I wanted to scream. Wanted to yell. Wanted to tell him no, this wasn't what it looked like, this wasn't me. I couldn't even open my mouth. _

_His other hand came up to wave, fingers red in the light, as he laughed again. The men around him laughed as well, all looking at Nick, and he dropped my head in order to slide his hand up the dress, fingers pinching me._

_I didn't see Nick's face. I heard him leave though, heard a glass break, heard people swear as he made his way to the door and left. _

"_Goodnight, Pet." There was a sting in my arm and darkness._

_I fell into somewhere dark, somewhere painful, crying, pleading, the mocking laughter still echoing around me. Nothing was here. Only smells of metal, blood, semen, sweat, and tears. I thrashed, trying to find it, trying to find an exit..._

"Time to wake up now. Come on."

My eyes flung open and I thrashed, trying to get whatever was holding me down to let go, fingernails finding something soft and trying to rip at it. The restraints softened, I thrashed harder, feeling something suddenly smash into my head. My eyes flew open then, as someone swore and the hands tightened.

Hands?

Nick's hands. I'd know them anywhere. They were clenched around my shoulders, I was on the floor, the back of my head aching like I'd struck it somewhere. He had his eyes fixed in mine, blood dripping from one cheek where there was a long red gash, fingers stroking my neck as his palms kept my head securely against the ground. He didn't relax it even with my eyes open, he waited, tense.

My sense of smell returned. I wasn't being hurt and the only smells in the room was Nick- Nick's sweat, his body, all him. I stared up at him with wild eyes, trapped, afraid, my heart beating hard against my ribcage, aware that he was speaking. It took a few seconds to understand, to somehow let the words in.

"... okay." He was saying, the sound distant, but I heard it. Nick's face was pale. Scratches were down his face and his shoulders. "It's okay. Anne. Snap out of it. You were dreaming."

"I'm awake."

Nick blinked and relaxed then, pulling me up, and yanked me into his lap as he sat back. He was breathing hard, sweaty, like he'd been wrestling with a crocodile. "Thought I was going to have to get Clay's help tonight. Here, let me check." He touched the back of my head and when I flinched, he flinched too, withdrawing his fingers. Blood.

Panic flared up as I remembered the dream. "How..."

"You knocked over the bed side table when you fell off the bed and kept finding it again. Gave me a huge fright. What were you dreaming?"

"I … I remembered."

"What? What did you remember?"

I told him. Told him about the fight, how my hip had been broken, about the look on her face when she realised they didn't want her, and about the bar. Seeing him there, and not being able to talk to him. I was crying before I could stop it, and he didn't try to stop me, just sat there, arms keeping me safe. It was like it'd exploded, all the month's worth of pain, and fear, and I couldn't stop it. This wasn't how a survivor acted, maybe, but damnit, I wanted to cry. Screw being hard and emotionless. Emotion was human nature and I wasn't going to let anyone kill that.

Nick didn't move an inch, even when I was snotty and face covered in tears, he stayed there as steady as a rock, keeping me against his chest. He only moved when I was calming down, returning a minute later with his chest cleaned up and with tissues for me, lifting me back onto the bed. I pushed my hand down my pants to feel where the hip was. The scar was more obvious now that I understood how it'd been made.

A rough hand tugged my hand out and his hand slid down to touch it. Pressing against the lumpy skin, the texture that stitches must have left. The stitches _I'd_ done. It was so intimate but there was nothing sexual about it. It was comforting, some how, to have someone else feel it, acknowledge it, as if I needed someone else to confirm that it wasn't just a dream. His fingers pressed along the scar, gently, touching it. There was no 'it was just a dream' from him. He knew I knew the difference.

We lay there, quiet, not sleeping, just trying to get some calm back. I could hear his own heart, it was racing as fast as mine, fighting against his own reaction to what I'd said. I kissed him.

Nick inhaled sharply as I did. It was the first time I'd been the one to do this, to kiss first, and his heart sped up, hands hesitating as they found my clothing.

I slid off the bed, my legs shaking, and he watched my every move as I undressed. I wanted this, wanted to be loved, wanted to be near him and with him and surround him, those memories not owning me. No one did. Everything I did from now on, I did for my _own_ needs. I needed to be loved right now. I wanted to be claimed by the right person.

When I pushed him onto his back, he held up his hands, torn between pushing me off or pushing me to go further. "You don't have to..."

"You're too tired, old man?" I was shifting onto his lap, sliding the boxers down, finding that he was clearly not too tired as far as his body was concerned.

Nick growled and rolled us over, pinning me under him, pushing himself into me with a slow push. His mouth found mine and we kissed hard, our lips trembling, hearts racing, my arms embracing him as my body closed around him, stretching to fit him, stretching as far as it could.

We lay there like that for a minute, caught up in the way each other felt, kisses going softer, longer, gentler. Then he started to move slowly, his legs kicking the sheets out of his way, pressing me down into the bed with all his weight.

"You're my mate." I said, very softly, very quietly, memory of the run the night before echoing in my head. "I trust you." It wasn't the 'l' word. But it was the closest I'd gotten to it.

Nick froze, his eyes locked in mine, and suddenly his kisses were hard again, tongue twisting with mine, his body moving faster, grinding up into mine, sending waves of heat throughout my body. Our breathing got faster, ragged, his lips not leaving mine as his hips thrust into mine, arms yanking my legs up higher. When I wrapped my legs around him, squeezing him, he shuddered, and I felt that it made his body rub against mine better. Harder.

I came, crying out against him, clutching onto him with my arms and legs, the pleasure filling my mind. Halfway through it he also came, his hands clenching onto my legs, lips trembling against my mouth.

Nick collapsed on me and I let him, comfortable with it, comfortable with his weight there.

"I better get Jeremy to check your head." He muttered after a while, shifting to the side, his leg across mine.

"Better get Jeremy to check your scratches." I replied. I touched them, very aware that I'd caused them, guilt creeping into my heart now. Woops.

"He'll think it's foreplay." Nick shook his head as he touched one on his arm, not looking at all bothered. He stood up to slide the boxers off completely, kicking them to one side, before crawling back onto the bed and collapsing beside me. "It'll be gone soon."

We went quiet again, watching the snow falling against the window outside, completely at ease with each other.

"How did he know you were a werewolf?"

Nick's head lifted slightly. "What do you mean?"

"In the bar, the man said ble-" I hesitated. I really didn't want to bring that back up again.

"What?" Nick's heart was racing again now, all relaxation draining from it.

"He said bleed for the pretty werewolf. Those exact words. How did he know you were a werewolf? I didn't even know." 

"Did he say anything else? Did you know the voice? See his face?" Nick was standing up suddenly, trying to untwist the boxers and getting them on again, struggling with the task. He threw something at me.

"Goodnight, pet."

_'Goodnight, pet'._

The voice echoed through my head. I went pale, blood draining from my face, as the voice brought up other memories. I'd been called pet so many times by that voice in the past ten months, so many humiliating times, when he pretended to love me, when he was enjoying causing me pain, over and over. It was him.

Nick's face had gone white then had suddenly gone red, a kind of fury there that matched the expression he'd had at the bar. He didn't need me to say it. "Get dressed. _Completely_ dressed."


	5. Cornered

I thought we'd go to Jeremy. We did, in a way, but all Nick did was bang on Jeremy's door. Then he was banging on Clayton's door as well, swearing as he remembered that the kids were there, but it was a bit late to take it back.

We went downstairs, Nick's hand clenching mine, and he led me to the study. He hesitated, hearing soft breathing inside it, so we tried the living room. Same problem with that room, already occupied by sleeping bodies. We ended up in the kitchen and he turned to face me.

"When Clay or Elena get here, tell them I'm downstairs. Then tell Jeremy exactly what you told me."

"Downstairs? In the basement? Nick..."

"You're not going downstairs, Nick." Clay wandered into the kitchen, yawning, as he reached up to scratch an armpit. He took in Nick's appearance in an instant- the red face, his body tense, hands clenching and unclenching but he stayed lazy, sleepy, relaxed. Only his eyes betrayed the sudden alertness that was there. "What's going on?"

"I've got to ask him some questions."

"That can't wait for morning?" Clayton turned to me then. I had gotten fully dressed, as Nick had ordered, and I stood out as much as he did for a whole different reason. "Where are you dressed to go?"

"No-where, I-"

I was interrupted by the appearance of Jeremy then. He looked just as exhausted as I had the night before. I wondered how long it'd been since he'd fallen asleep. Couldn't be long.

"Are you bleeding, Anne?"

"She hit her head. Can you check it?" Nick muttered. He wasn't calming down or relaxing but he wasn't pushing either. His eyes darted in the direction of the basement, over and over, like he couldn't get his mind off that person he had to question.

Jeremy moved to the freezer, pushing things aside, tugging out an icepack. He wrapped it up and pressed it against the back of my head. "It doesn't look that bad. Tell me if you feel tired or need to vomit."

I nodded. Jeremy glanced at Nick again, clearly knowing that this wasn't the reason Nick was so stirred up, lips pressing together. "Sit down and tell me what's wrong before you do anything else."

We sat around the table and I told them what I'd dreamed, struggling a bit, but Nick was eager to fill in the parts I couldn't seem to get. His hand was grasping mine again. It wasn't that I didn't trust Jeremy or Clayton, I did, but some parts of it were so intimate, so private, that it was a struggle. I didn't tell them where the blood came from, in the bar, but Nick's reaction to it probably gave it away to some extent.

Elena appeared after ten minutes, her hand on Nick's shoulder, standing there as she listened.

"Are you sure it's the same man?"

_'Goodnight, Pet.' _ I felt a cold shudder go up my spine at the memory of that voice. "Yes."

"Nick, what do you remember?"

"Exactly what she said. He smelt like some cologne shit, like he'd dropped the whole damn bottle on himself, I didn't smell anything except that smell." He tensed as he muttered, eyes on the table, "That, with the amount of alcohol there and her blood, I didn't smell anything special. I _thought_ she was drunk. I wouldn't have left her ..." He was angry, so angry, but it wasn't with me. I could see it in his mind, this realisation that he'd missed something so obvious.

"They did it to mock you. You smelt exactly what they wanted you to smell so they could mock you." Jeremy sighed. He leaned back, eyes going to Elena behind Nick. "Nick, do you think you could remember his face?"

"My eyes weren't really on him. I could try."

"I don't think anyone's going to sleep again, so Elena, get your dossiers out from the study. Nick, go through them, see if anything sticks out. We'll have to do this in the kitchen quietly."

Elena nodded, her hand squeezing Nick's shoulder, before she was moving quietly though the sleeping house again.

"Should I talk with our guest again?"

"Yes." Jeremy's lips tensed again, as Clayton stood up, like he hadn't wanted to give that answer. "Quietly."

"I'll take him somewhere a little bit more private." Clayton took a key from Jeremy and moved away, stretching as he walked.

We sat there quietly for a minute.

"I think you should have a rest till it gets light, Anne. Elena will need you to look as well but it might be easier for Nick to concentrate if you're not here."

I hesitated but I knew he was right. Nick was pissed off and I was probably reminding him more than was helpful. "I'm not really tired. I could help somewhere else..."

"I know you could." Jeremy stood up. "Just try and rest in your room. I'll come talk with you when Nick's done."

I knew that wasn't an optional suggestion so I stood up and headed upstairs. Whatever he had in mind, he wasn't ready to involve me.

Sleep did come. It was uneasy, dreams darting around, nothing clear, and it was almost a relief when I was woken up by the sag of the bed beside me. It wasn't Nick. It was Reece, balancing food, trying to not wake me.

"Nick sent you here?"

"Morning, sunshine. No. Jeremy said to stay here with you. I figured this bed was more comfortable than the floor."

I opened my eyes and found Reece was holding a plate for me, waiting, a tense grin on his face. He hesitated and added, "Sorry. I heard everything. Wasn't meaning to eavesdrop but ..."

"It's okay." I slid up, exhausted, body aching from head to foot. He pushed the plate into my lap and set a mug of a steaming drink beside it.

"Hope you're hungry. I'm starving." He went for his own plate, digging into it, but paused as he remembered something. He tugged out a little foil package from where it'd been hidden on the tray and handed it to me."Jeremy said to take this pill. Said it'd help."

I didn't even look at the pill, taking it, and then eating and drinking slowly, watching the closed door, trying to listen. Voices were moving around the house, apparently meaning nearly everyone was awake, activity everywhere. "Sounds like the whole house is awake. What's going on?"

"Paige and Savannah are going to stay in the town with Antonio and Noah. I'll be going in later this morning with Hope and her baby. We-" He hesitated, suddenly, as if he wasn't sure how much he was allowed to share. "-We lost contact with Karl yesterday. Probably nothing. But Jeremy's not keen on taking chances and Hope's insistent that someone goes so we're going to go into the city for a few days. I can pick you up something there if you want- boxing day isn't the worst day to get a good deal." The last sentence was thrown in to make it sound casual but I suspected this trip was anything but casual.

"Thanks, but I don't really need anything." My heart sank a little at that news. Karl, the only one I hadn't met, was also the one who was supposed to be watching New York.

A car started up, voices calling their farewells, and we listened to it as it faded away down the driveway. That meant that the first had already gone. I glanced at the clock. It was only seven in the morning.

"I'll get you something nice. Relax and sleep, you look a shocker."

"Thanks." I muttered as I shut my eyes and curled back up onto my side.

I must have fallen asleep again because when I woke there was a bright light was in my eyes. It was sunlight, I realised, just a brief shaft of it before the moving clouds went to cover it up again. The clock beside me said it was well past lunch. Lunch?

I sat up to find Reece gone and Jeremy at the desk with the laptop. He was working quietly but a slight shift in his posture, so that his side was pointed in my direction more, showed he knew I'd woken up and moved.

"What's going on?" I muttered, voice foggy with sleep, trying to slide one leg out of bed. The house was suddenly very quiet compared to earlier. "Where is everyone?"

"Off doing tasks I asked them to do. Jamie's downstairs keeping the kids entertained. Pav was awake a while but she's gone back to bed.. I haven't been able to ask her about where they took her. I'm here with you." Jeremy shut the laptop and moved to lie on the bed where Reece had been. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." I yawned, exhaustion in every limb, in my head, in my chest, so much that I wondered why. It was a little like I'd been drugged, except that was very unlikely. Or was it unlikely? I probably should have asked what that pill was. "What was that pill?"

"Mild sleeping pill. Nothing strong- just to help you relax without any more dreams."

I might have been angry any other time but I was too tired. So I yawned and shrugged. Worse things had happened and to be honest, I was glad, because the last thing I needed was more dreams right now. "Is Nick okay?"

"He's a little upset with himself but he's got Clayton to keep him in reality. Anne, this might be hard for you to hear, but you deserve to hear it." Jeremy moved closer. He kept his eyes on me. "What they did with you was purely about dominance. We think that they may have seen the two of you together beforehand and decided that was how you got chosen."

"To get Nick angry?"

"More than that. They called themselves a pack, don't they?" When I nodded, Jeremy sighed. "What most mutts want is territory. Clayton's reputation keeps them from coming into the state usually and we watch them to ensure that no mutt is causing too much trouble in one area."

"These ones were around for months in that one spot."

"Yes and they did it without a single incident that stood out." Jeremy shifted onto his elbow as he got into a better position to keep an eye on me. "We think that they may have chosen women who had connections to a pack werewolf. Not just American- Pav's wife was a distant relation of the Russian alpha. It's possible that their behaviour, including wanting to capture Elena and her daughter, suggests that they're not just looking for women. They're looking for something much bigger than that."

"They want to insult everyone here?" My jaw was open slightly. I wasn't sure if I was pleased or not about what I was hearing. Some part of me was glad, maybe, but it made me sound like I was just some pawn in a werewolf's pissing contest.

"No, I don't think so. They didn't intend on letting you or Pav escape so it wasn't about boasting about what they'd done. That was just an extra thrill, something that appealed to the nature of a werewolf. Taking the property of another. They would have kept quiet for a while longer. At least-" Jeremy's frown increased "-not till they achieved something else first. They're unusually well organised and self-controlled for a group of mutts. I would recommend that you hide this if you leave the house again." He reached over to take my hand, tapping where the silver ring was still sitting.

"It might be a challenge to them?"

"It might be, yes. You might be safer."

I somehow doubted that. I knew that it was, to werewolves that got very territorial, a very clear marker that I was 'claimed'. It may as well have been a collar. But I already was claimed, as far as that asshole had decided, and it wouldn't have mattered if I wore a ring or not. "I think he'll be angry, ring or no ring." I didn't really want to take it off. It had this bizarre combined effect of making me feel vulnerable and really powerful strong.

"Here, lean forward a bit, let me check your head." Jeremy moved to bend across me as I lay forward, switching on the lampside table and parting the hair at the back of my head. "It's just a little cut. You should be fine."

"I think it scared Nick more than it did me."

"He's not used to having a relationship like this. You might find that he overreacts to a few things for a while." Jeremy leaned back, his lips twitching slightly.

We lay there quietly listening to the quiet house, the soft creaks and sounds of the wind outside.

I turned to look at Jeremy then. "Reece said that someone was missing in New York."

"He wasn't supposed to say that." Jeremy's voice almost growled but he softened, gaze shifting to me. "We've just not heard anything back yet. So we're checking in. It's too early to be worried."

"Are you?"

"It's my pack, my family. I'm worried all the time. But I know that everyone knows their job and is more than able to defend or fight when it's needed. You included." He patted my leg and moved to stand back up again.

"What have you heard about my family? In Australia?"

That had an affect on Jeremy that I had not been expecting. He flinched, as if I'd struck him, and he shook his head. It made fear coil in my heart suddenly, this reaction, even though he hadn't said a word.

"I've got nothing yet I can tell you. I know you're probably waiting for that. I'll try and get something by tonight." Was he lying? He wasn't looking at me now, and he was quick to leave the room, taking the laptop with him.

The door to the basement was open when I went downstairs later, only stillness and silence coming from the staircase downstairs. I didn't need to go down to know that it meant that no one was there anymore. I could smell traces of the werewolf going out through the front door with Clayton's scent right beside it.

A loud 'BANG' made me jump. Another one. I went to the window to see Jeremy standing there with a gun, apparently shooting at something. I knocked and he glanced back to see me standing there and smiled a greeting, obviously not in any stress, before turning around and going back to what he was doing.

"Americans." I muttered, shaking my head, and going to sit in the study wth one of the books I'd been given. They had this thing about guns that I just didn't get. Australians didn't get guns and no one seemed to care in Australia. Farmers got one if they needed it, soldiers did, why did I need one? But Americans were so proud of their guns and I'd found it so strange to find bullets in a general store. Bullets!

Still, if it made them happy, it didn't bother me. I suspected it was just another thing I'd have to get used to around here.

Lunch had been missed and I doubted anyone here would mind if I went to get it now. I went to sit in the kitchen, not even bothering to heat up the meal, and sat there quietly.

"There's no news about your family. I'm sorry, Pav, but we've not found any news of them whatsoever. We'll keep trying without trying to draw attention to them. I'm afraid the same news for Violetta's family." He was gazing at her and she slumped and nodded.

"It's all right. Thankyou for trying." She was disappointed, I could see it in her face, but she tried to hide it. Tried to smile and shrug it off. "I'll head upstairs to finish my movie then."

Jeremy turned to face me. He waited till she was gone, though he really didn't have to, and he was holding a small folder. He slid it across the coffee table and sat down on my other side, so that I was pressed in between him and Nick, before opening it. "I'm sorry, Anne."

The article was only a few days old. I didn't know what I was staring at first, the front page of a newspaper with a photo of a bunch of black twigs, the letters refusing to arrange themselves in my head.

Christmas tragedy.

It was the sight of a pair of charred swings in front of the pile of twigs that made me understand what it was I was seeing. It was our house. Those were my swings. I used to play on them all the time as a kid.

I couldn't read it. I slammed the folder shut and slid back, shaking my head, not getting it. Our home. The place my parents had built and raised us in, and then raised their oldest grandson too, half in the country and slowly surrounded by other houses as the suburbs extended out to us.

"I have to go back, see if they're all right. Mum will be heartbr-"

Jeremy didn't answer. He opened up the folder again and pushed the article aside to show another one from a different page. When Jeremy read it out, Nick's hand tightened over mine, and I had to listen.

"Christmas tragedy. A fire caused the deaths of four adults and three children this morning. Residents in Melbourne's eastern suburb were woken by the sound of fire sirens early this morning to find that their neighbour's house was ablaze. Only one family member had made it out- the five year old grandson- who was found trying to put the fire out with a bucket and clutching to the family's dog who had died of a broken neck."

It spoke about me. Spoke about how earlier that year they'd been struck by tragedy, the owners of the house had lost their twenty six year old daughter when she'd gone missing earlier that year. It asked for information and listed other missing young adults after the article. My face was there beside them.

A low sound, so full of grief and pain, came from something then. It took me a moment to realise it was me, my own sound, my own body reacting to something I couldn't mentally keep up with. I bent over, unable to breathe, as Nick tried to stroke my back.

"Your nephew was taken to hospital with minor burns to his hands and face. He was at a foster home."

I lifted my head, struggling to think, staring back at the article. There were others about it as well, he'd printed off a page, trying to see a photo of him. I saw photos of my parents. Photos of my sister. The house again.

Three children? That made no sense. She only had three children. But it didn't take me long to understand. There was a photo from facebook of her standing there with a baby, just a newborn, with a big grin on her face. A daughter. She'd finally had a daughter.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was about to stand up, about to leave the room, feeling sick, like I needed to vomit. Or scream. The article under that one was the only thing that stopped me.

_'Child Survivor of horrific blaze goes missing.'_

"What is this?" I lifted it up, head swimming, reading it as fast as I could. He'd gone missing. Ny nephew had vanished again and they didn't know what had happened to him. I wasn't a suspect, apparently, as the insurance wasn't touched.

"What?" My voice was horse and raspy, head swinging up to see Jeremy's face, it unreadable eagain. "He vani-"

Jeremy took the article from me, looking as if he hadn't meant to show that one, jaw tightening. "There's nothing you can do about it right now."

"Where is he?" The realisation hit me like a sledgehammer. This wasn't right. This wasn't _normal_. Five year old boys didn't just vanish after they'd lost their entire family, they didn't poof into thin air, he would be scared, upset, afraid. I was pushing through the articles, trying to find something, anything, but … "Jeremy. Where is my nephew?"

Jeremy didn't answer and I could literally hear his brain weighing something up. But he sighed and moved to take something out of his pocket. "Anne, there's nothing that can be done right now."

When I moved to sit up, I felt a hand grabbing me yanking me backwards from the side. I pushed it off me.

Jeremy sat down and rubbed his head with his palm, as if he didn't know if it was wise to speak or not. It made me angry because I could see he knew something I didn't. He was holding something back.

"What aren't you telling me? He's my family. I'm all he has left. What is wrong?"

A hand tightened on my arm again. I ignored Nick, ignored his hand, unable to look at him.

Jeremy shook his head, hesitating, and he pushed the thing onto the table. It was a small folded letter, and the second I yanked it up and unwrapped it, the smell of blood filled my sensitive nose. Blood? Blood was dropped onto the page like it was some kind of fucked up perfume. A photo fell out as it opened fully. I didn't need to read the writing, didn't need to even glance at it, I saw the photo and understood everything.

Matt was alive. He had darker hair than I remembered, was taller, and his eyes were dull. Not dead, I told myself, not that. He was drugged up to the eyeballs with something that made him look half dead. He was sitting in a room that'd become so familiar to me in the past ten months that I had to drop it, had to back up, almost knocking over the coffee table in an attempt to get away from the photo. The cage. That damn cell. He was sitting in _my_ cell.

It wasn't an accidental fire. The date, my eyes flew to the date on one of the articles, literally the day I'd escaped. They'd punished me for running and now they had him.

"What are we doing sitting here?" I was jumping over the coffee table, knocking over the papers, the table, yanking keys off the hook. Grief was gone now, all there was left was purpose, anger, rage. So much rage. They'd shut him up in that fucking cell and I was sitting here.

"Anne..."

I was already outside, heading for the cars, trying to figure out which key went for which door. I heard running feet, a call, another car door slam, Jeremy trying to follow, or was it someone else?, but I found the right car. Keys. Break thing. Pedals. Oh fuck, some kind of manual thing, I struggled with it. A car door opened at the back and someone jumped inside as the car lurched backwards, but I was busy trying to get the stupid thing to go forward, not backwards, to care if it was Nick or Jeremy or the boogie man. I sped off down the driveway. If those bastards had my nephew, if they hurt him, I was going to rip them to pieces. Make them feel every single amount of pain that everyone they'd hurt had felt.

"Where are we going?" A low easy drawl came from behind me. Clayton moved from the back seat into the front seat in an easy jump, ignoring me as he moved there, eyes moving to fix on me with a calm stare. "Boxing Day sales are over."

"Get out." I tried to get the stupid car to move faster. The stick thing was impossible, I couldn't figure it out, when I seemed to get one good position for the stick, it seemed to fail. The four wheel drive was lurching and struggling to move at a speed that Clayton could have easily hopped out at. We were past the entrance already, I'd managed to get this far, so I could figure the rest out. "What's with this manual car?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I have to get my nephew."

"What you have to do is stop the car and I'll take you back. Your nephew is safe."

"He's not safe. Did you see the photo? They have him."

"They probably do." He didn't argue with that. "And why do you think they kept him alive? They could have waited and killed him after the fire. This is to get you to come scampering back, pure and simple, running back to them like a good little pet."

"He's my family. I have to protect him. He's just five years old, Clayton. He's Logan's age." Did everyone know about the fire? Clayton hadn't been in the room with us. I wondered how long Jeremy had been sitting on this one. I swore as a pair of cars overtook us, driving fast, speeding and shaking ours. Why couldn't I get it to MOVE. Who bought manuals these days anyway?

Clayton's face tensed for a moment, and he nodded, but he didn't give. "I know he is. Jere told me. But think about what'll happen when you get there. He's a pest to them- just a human child. They're keeping him alive because he's valuable to you that way. If he dies-" He ignored my sudden wrench on the stick thing, ignored my swearing, as the car failed again "-you don't need to go there. They loose their advantage and you suddenly don't need to go near them. Do you? The second you drive this thing out of our protection they'll hunt you down, snatch you up, and get rid of him."

"They'll hurt him if I wait."

"Maybe but they won't kill him. If they get you, they'll hurt you a hell of a lot more and hurt the Pack. I'm not going to allow you to hurt my family with a stupid impulse."

"They won't hurt the pa-"

"You're Nick's mate now. His wife. That makes you my sister. Elena's sister. If they hurt you, they'll do it to hurt us, and darling, you better believe that they'll make sure they don't _just_ hurt you, they'll send us videos of it."

"I'm your sister?" I didn't answer the fiancee part. It had made me flinch, I hadn't realised that the word 'fiancee' was more frightening to me than 'love'. My eyes got off the car and the road for a second to meet Clayton's face. He nodded and I tried it, tried the word out, stumbling a bit over it. "What if I was his human fi- fiancee?"

"I'm not gonna lie, I'm not one for humans. Can't stand them. But the second Nick decided on you was the second you become a sister, human or werewolf, and if there's one thing I do care about, it's protecting my family."

"I'm all he's got left. Who's going to protect him if I can't?"

"If you're all he has left, and you're apart of our pack, then he's family as well. Which is even more reason to calm down and focus on doing it right." He was still tense but so calm, so damn calm, like he was somehow managing to keep it all boiling under the surface.

"What would you do if it was Logan? Katherine? Elena? I can't just ..."

"I'd be doing exactly what you'd be doing." Clayton growled as he spoke, cutting me off, the idea flashing through his face, and for a brief moment the calm surface was disturbed by what he was feeling underneath. Just a moment. "We're not going to ignore the kid. We're just going to be smart about how we do this."

I hesitated and slowed, the rage fading slightly, and didn't pull back when Clayton moved closer so that he could pull my hands off the wheel. The second the car stopped he turned it off and yanked the key out.

"They killed my family." Grief was trying to creep in, take over the empty space that rage had left, and I put my head in my hands. I couldn't cry. I just shook, like the shock of it was finally there, this awareness that I wasn't going home. I didn't have parents. I didn't have a sister. My nephews were all gone except one and I didn't know what they were doing to him. I was an orphan and they had died not knowing if I was alive or dead. They'd died not knowing if I'd abandoned them, or I'd been murdered, or hurt, died not knowing if I loved them.

Clayton didn't say anything. He slid out of his side and went to open the driver's side, standing there patiently, a hand on my arm.

After some time I managed to get out of the car and he moved into the driver's seat. I went around to sit in the other side, legs trembling. 

We drove back in silence. It only took a minute before we were back in the driveway and the sense of security, of calm, of home came back over me. It didn't help as much as it had the first time I'd come here.

Antonio's car was missing, and another car, one of the ones I hadn't seen. Jeremy was standing on the porch still but he was on his own now. He seemed to relax slightly when he saw Clayton waving to him from the driver's side.

"Where's Nick?"

"Nick's a better driver than you. Elena might take a little bit longer to bring him home." Clayton pulled up and slid out of the car.

"He ..." I hadn't noticed him. Had forgotten about him even, I'd been so busy trying to get going, get moving.

"He took off. Elena followed him in her car, they passed us a few minutes ago. He lost your family too." Something was there in Clayton's face, empathy, emotion, maybe even pity. I couldn't tell.

I understood then and wished I'd thought before I'd jumped in the car intending to wage single war with the entire group of mutts. Nick had spent his whole life longing to know his own mother. My mother, while not his, would have become something to him more important than most men needed from a mother-in-law. I think she would have loved it too, this son-in-law that adored her, she'd never gotten to have a son. I hadn't had time to even think about that. He was so much more used to the idea of this 'mate' thing than I was, putting together the pieces faster.

An image drifted into my head, of us sitting there after we'd had sex the first time, and he'd gotten me to tell him about my family. Wanted me to show photos and was so disappointed when I didn't have any in my wallet or my phone. He had been so interested in them, in this family, wanting to know what it was like to grow up in a family like that. I hadn't really understood why it was a big deal. I'd send him some new photos when I got home.

A fresh wave of grief crashed over me and my hands started to tremble again. I sat there in the passenger seat, barely able to move, this kind of emptiness growing as the realisation that I didn't have home now, or people to photograph, or another chance to get new photos. What was left from the fire? What if there were no more photos left?

"Come on, come inside." Jeremy pulled the passenger side open, offering his hand, and I took it. He squeezed it as he led me inside, Clayton following us.

We sat and watched the driveway. I couldn't sit still. My legs were jumping, hands trembling, eyes following the merest fraction of movement outside the window. Not only was my family gone, now Nick had gone. Panic kept flaring up, and I had to pace, unable to stay still. Jeremy vanished for a few minutes to return with drinks, steaming hot chocolate, and pushed a pill across.

"What is it?"

"Mild sedative. If you would like it will help you relax but it's optional." He relaxed when I accepted it.

I sat down just as Pav came down then, using a cane to help her, and she squeezed in beside me, wrapping an arm around me. We sat there, drinking the warm drinks, my body's tenseness and panic fading away as the pill did what it was supposed to. She kept an arm me, but I knew it was as much for her as it was for me. I wrapped one arm around her in return. I knew what had happened to my family, however horrible, however fucked up. She didn't know and didn't know if her wife was safe, or hurt, or dying, or _dead_.

Other girls were still there too, most dead, some alive and suffering, and what about their families?

I couldn't grieve like this. It was selfish, bad timing, I had to make it something else so I could function. If they had my nephew, Clayton was right, they'd keep him till I came for him. I couldn't protect him like this.

"What's his name?"

My head swung up at Jeremy, not quite understanding, and he moved to sit beside me on the other side.

"Your nephew."

"Matt." I swallowed. "Matthew. Everyone calls him Matt."

The minutes ticked by slowly as the sun moved across us, waiting for the others to return. It got to dinner time, and as the darkness started to fade outside, a tenseness was starting to build in the air. No one spoke, no one said a word, but eyes and ears were fixed on the driveway.

Jeremy moved away for a while, making a quick phone call, returning to tell Clayton that Jamie had the twins somewhere safe and was happy to stay there overnight with Paige. No news from New York.

Another half an hour ticked by. It was dark outside now. Still nothing. Anxiety filled the room now, seeping from the four of us sitting there, even Jeremy seemed restless, his eyes not leaving the driveway. I suddenly felt like we were vulnerable, so few of us, split up like this.

"Nick was upset, Jere, but he wouldn't have stayed away that long. It's been three hours." Clayton was standing. "Elena..."

"Run upstairs and grab some coats, Clay, I'll get the car warmed up." Jeremy moved to take the keys from Clayton and opened the front door. He glanced at us, weighing up leaving us, before he called, "You two better come with us. I don't like leaving you both alone here."

"No need."

It was a voice from outside in the dark. Jeremy turned, hands tensing on the door handle, flipping the outside light on suddenly.

Nick and Elena blinked, moving through the snow at a slow pace, looking exhausted and a little beaten up. They weren't alone, there was someone between them, his hands bound behind his back, body limp.

"We ran into... well, you'll see."

"You mean he ran into us." Nick muttered, hoisting the limp body up with a grunt, as he tried to walk faster. His face lit up at the sight of me just slightly.

"What happened? Is anyone hurt?"

"Not really." Elena answered. She had a nasty cut above her eye and she was limping slightly. I wasn't sure what counted as 'hurt' in the werewolf world. Maybe that was when someone couldn't walk anymore? "I had a little nap while Nick took care of it. Those darts didn't really help much."

Nick shrugged. He looked just as bad off as Elena, one arm of his limp, the smell of blood filling my nostrils even from this distance. Bruises, bad arm, one of his eyes was a little swollen, and he was _pleased_ with himself. I wanted to hit him. Badly.

Clayton was downstairs by now, moving forward to take the limp body from Elena's side as they reached the stairs, his hand brushing across her arm. "Gave me a fright, darling. What happened to your phone?"

"It fell in the snow and by the time we found it, it was a little too wet." She sighed with relief as the heavy burden was taken off her shoulder. Elena rubbed her head, face going green, she grabbed for the hand rail to steady herself. "Those drugs aren't fun, are they."

"You'll probably feel better in the morning. He's human? Take him downstairs, you two, Elena, come with me and tell me what happened." 

My attention had been on Elena and Nick and only now did I see what Jeremy had focused on. The man was a human, it was obvious from the way he smelt. He was taken downstairs and Elena and Jeremy were already moving for the study. Pav moved to sit down as well and I slid into the seat beside her, squeezing in.

"He knocked into my car with his and I got this to the arm when I got out to see if the man was all right." Elena held up a small dart in a plastic zipper bag and a gun in another bag. "Nick had skidded his car when he saw the crash, getting stuck in the snow, and took care of the man. You'd think I'd have learnt after the _last_ time I was taken."

Jeremy took the bag and slid it into a drawer. When Nick came back in, he seemed disappointed that I wasn't in a seat he could join me in, and sat on the armrest instead. Jeremy had him standing up again though, yanking the shirt off, a sharp intake of breath at the sight of Nick's arm. Under the shirt was a bandage, probably used from Nick's jacket, and it was literally sodden with blood.

"Nick?" Elena hadn't noticed. "Thought you said it was a scratch."

"He had a gun." Nick sounded so casual, so calm, and I did elbow him then, making him grunt in pain. "Ow! It's not really that bad. It just grazed me."

Elena and Jeremy shared a look before she was up, moving for the kitchen, returning with the first aid kit.

It wasn't as bad as it looked when it was unwrapped, apparently having been exactly as he said, just burning and cutting the side of his arm. Jeremy insisted on putting a couple of stitches as he had Nick repeat what he'd seen.

"I saw Elena get hit by a driver as he passed her, skidded a bit too fast, and by the time I got there he was trying to pick her up and stick her in his car. He wasn't doing that good a job though, kept skidding on the ice, dropped her a few times, and he only realised I was there when I got close. The restraints on her were pretty strong though. I had to search him for the keys, couldn't break it."

"Werewolf strength restraints." Elena muttered.

"We found this on him though on the inside of his jacket." Nick moved to yank something out of his pocket, another zip bag, tugging out a cloth patch that must have been ripped off a jacket. It was a small grey and black symbol of a wolf's head. The black, I saw, was edged with a snippet of fur of the same color, like someone had stitched it there."Smell it."

Jeremy stepped back from Nick's arm and opened the bag as Nick's arm came to wrap around my shoulders, then around Pav's shoulders too, yanking the two of us over against his side.

The smell came out of the bag and Jeremy inhaled sharply, eyes narrowing, turning the bag to look at the symbol again. The smell drifted out of the bag, filling my nostrils, the scent of a werewolf that had brushed against this mere _hours_ ago.

My head spun. I felt the ground give way, panic flooding through my system, as the smell brought back everything that I'd been too warm and safe to remember, the smell of dampness, of rot, all those scents in my dream, and him. The man that'd claimed to own me, who'd hurt me, and who had my nephew now.

Nick's hand had let go of Pav and was grabbing for me as I fell. Too late.

I knew it was going to happen. I could feel eyes on me, physically close, hands reaching, feel eyes, hear words, but I knew that it was already too late. The smell had triggered something that I couldn't stop. Maybe it was because of the shock just a few hours ago, maybe it was the smell of him, maybe both. But I had to get out because it was already too late.

_Run away._

Their mouths moved as I stood up, giddy, grabbing for wall, door, the sounds as if another language now. Too late to explain. I tried, I really did, my mouth opening, but all that came out was a sound, agony, pain, fear, a growl, the sound of a caged animal who was willing to fight to the death to get out again. I had to get outside.

I stumbled outside, yanking jacket off, shoes dropping the ring with the last bit of control I had, slipping and sliding as the snow and ice failed under sock covered feet, and ran for the forest as the change started. If they followed, I couldn't tell, conciousness was fading as rage, anger, fear sank in, and the urge to run.

_Run away_.

I must have run a long way. When I came to, I was surrounded by forest, naked and covered by a thin blanket. It was morning again and I couldn't remember what had happened, what'd I'd done, just smelling something and the panic that'd come with it.

I wasn't alone though. Nick was sitting perched against a tree ten metres away, watching me, fully dressed and with a backpack beside him.

"Hi." I tried, voice cracking, trying to stand up. I didn't know what I'd done as a wolf but I knew what'd happened yesterday, remembered every last detail of it, heart breaking all over again.

He yawned, stretching, and came over with the bag. Nick hoisted me up and yanked his jacket off, wrapping the warm thing around me, a warm kiss joining it. "Feel better?"

"No." I leaned into him, trembling, and let him help me dress.

"You dropped this." Nick pushed the ring on my finger, before covering them with the mitts, his hands threading through mine.

"Didn't want to loose it in the snow."

He smiled, leaning down to kiss me again, wrapping arms around me in a warm hug. I didn't flinch or back away and it tightened. "Good thinking. You led one hell of a chase but you were one hell of a gorgeous wolf."

"It was the smell. Sorry. I didn't... I did it again, lost control again."

"Yesterday was ..." His voice tightened as he couldn't seem to finish that. "Here. Hold onto me." Nick yanked me up, hoisting me onto his back.

"I could walk."

"I like this idea better. Carrying you home again." When my only answer was to tighten my arms and legs around his back. Nick relaxed, head twisting back to find my face, kissing it again. Then we headed off.

Forest passed us. I saw our path sometimes, where I'd gone as a wolf, the trail Nick had left behind, smelt the alarmed animals, even smelt blood at one point. An animal I must have killed. It was better that I'd hunted an animal than a human. Or Nick. What if I'd hurt Nick?

I _had_ to stop loosing control like this. I _had_ to keep calm.

It took me half an hour before I thought of his arm and when I did, I stiffened, just about ready to jump off again. "Wait, what about your arm?"

"It wasn't that bad." Nick shrugged and tightened his grip on my legs.

So we continued, quiet, no words exchanged. But sometimes I would lean forward, arms hugging him a little closer, and he'd answer with a gentle squeeze of my legs. He was moving so steadily, so sure footed in the snow, heavy boots crunching, not seeming to find the icy patches or knowing where to move around. This was his forest- the one he'd grown up in- and he knew exactly where he was, how to get back, and how to stay safe.

I had a place like that too. It was a far away place now. I didn't think I'd ever see it again either, that distant home, those trees, the dry clay filled earth, so dry in summer, so wet and cold in winter, a place that was nothing like this bush.

"How are you doing with the news." Nick spoke, suddenly, awkwardly, like he'd been struggling all this time to figure out how to ask it. He tightened his grip on my thighs, squeezing them, thumbs stroking my legs unconsciously.

"I can't answer that."

He nodded and continued to walk. Another five minutes and he tried again, this time with a question I had been expecting. "That werewolf. That's him, isn't it." I nodded, face brushing against the side of his face, and he swallowed. "I thought so."

"Do you think he knows where I am?"

"Not for sure, but yes, probably."

"Is Jeremy angry with me?" I meant, of course, for running off into the forest like that on my own. One of the rules had been to always be with someone else.

"Not even close to it. I think he's glad you thought to go into the forest. Kicking a changing werewolf out the front door and locking it isn't being very hospitable."

After a while, I made him put me down and walked beside him, sliding my mitted hand against his and finding it not working that well. It was enough though. The snow crunched under our feet, sunlight breaking through the trees every now and then, some beads of cold moisture running down the trees or dropping from the leaves.

"How far did I go?"

"Not as far as it seems. I led you into the forest for safety." He wrapped his arm around mine, yanking me close with a quick tug. "We're nearly there."

"I didn't attack you, did I?"

"No, just tracked and circled me like a loving shark." He grinned. Nipped my neck, suddenly, nearly slipping on the snow in his haste. One of his boots found a icy patch that turned out to be a puddle, cracking and sinking into it with a splash.

"That's what you get for biting a shark."I muttered, yanking him up.

Jeremy was waiting for us, probably having heard us coming a mile away, and he was holding a coffee in his hand. He offered it to me and moved to led us inside, only stopping to tell Nick to leave his wet boots outside, and we headed back into the study.

Breakfast was waiting too, just cold stuff from the fridge, and when I sat he pushed the tray towards me. Nick moved to sit beside me, squeezing up closer than necessary, and I didn't mind a bit.

It was a little like being lectured by a father, again, his lecture on both of us this time. Nick had apparently not had the permission to go out to find me, nor would he have gotten it, as I had been circling the house as a big dark red-blonde wolf for well over an hour before he'd decided to head out with my clothing. That'd been the point I'd started to leave the house and follow him.

"Thankyou for getting outside though." Jeremy turned his attention me now. "It was quick thinking on your part."

"What have you got from him?" Nick asked, hand wrapping around mine, his gaze going from Jeremy to Clayton a moment as Clayton entered the room.

"He didn't come here for Anne specifically. He came to capture either Anne, Elena or Katherine, with the promise that the capture of one would mean he would be rewarded with becoming a werewolf himself." Jeremy grimaced. "Didn't seem to know the survival rates for that _gift_."

Nick relaxed slightly, but only a moment. He glanced at me, seeking my permission, before adding, "That badge belonged to the mutt who tortured her."

"Is that true?"

I nodded. I had never seen those badges before though. "What is it? Did he say?"

"All servants of the werewolves wear a badge hidden on them, with the wolf's scent, marking who they work for in their pack. It protects and identifies them. The werewolves don't do their dirty work- they get humans to do most of it, due to the fact that we can't tell them apart from other humans without getting close enough to find the mark. This one belonged to his Master. He doesn't know his name, or his face, he wore a mask in human form that was a copy of his Wolf face."

"I saw his face. I told you what it looked like."

"I know, and your description of his face earlier means we have a little more information now. We have his face, his scent, and his appearance as both a wolf and as a man. It's a good start to finding him." Jeremy glanced to Nick and then to me. "So now is the time we need you to leave for a while."

"What!" Both I and Nick said that, together, his hand tensing around mine.

"You can't send her away-"

"I can't go-"

"You're home. To Australia." Jeremy held up his hand as Nick went to protest, eyes moving to him. "And you're going with her. Reece?"

I hadn't seen Reece before, he was standing in the corner out of my sight, but now he stepped forward, face tense.

"You're going to go home for the funeral of your family. The mutts are too close now, much too close, and we'll throw them off if you appear in Australia all of a sudden, giving us an advantage in tracking both them and Matt- your nephew- down while they're trying to figure out how to bring you back. I've already looked into how to get you home. Today we'll call the Australian embassy together. You're going to tell them that you had amnesia. Nick found you in the street the morning you were going to the cruise ship, robbed of all your belongings, money, ID, everything, with a head injury."

"New York mugging?"

"Exactly. He, being a good guy, helped you out. You fell in love. Got engaged and bought a house together. Then when you came across the article about the fire, you remembered everything, and you're eager to go home to attend the funerals."

The word funerals drained blood from my face. My mind was eager to find a distraction from that, from that reality, and the 'bought a house part' was quick to jump out. "Won't they expect there to be some kind of house?"

Jeremy nodded and stood to head for a drawer. The envelope was suspicious enough, so thin, with heavy bits. He tipped out a sheet of paper, a _deed_, both our names on it, and a pair of keys. And the photo of a 'sold' sign beside what looked like a long driveway in bush. It wasn't Stonehaven, that was for sure, though the bush was similar. When the hell had he done this?

"A house? I can't ..."

Nick inhaled as he stared at it as well, touching one of the keys. "Jeremy, that's a bit too much."

"I already had plans to buy it and use it for the pack. It's bordering on this land and as long as you allow the pack to use it as well, you can be caretakers and legal owners." Jeremy's lips twitched as he added, a small smile, "The house was getting a bit too full and I think a few extra bedrooms might be appreciated. Owning a house and being engaged means that people will expect you to return to America."

"I'll pay you back. I... I'll work."

"We can discuss that later. First, do you have the story right?"

"Won't this, so soon after the... the fire... won't it stir the media up into a media storm?"

"That's exactly what I'm counting on. The werewolves chasing you will hold off, at least until the media's moved on, to avoid too much exposure. If you vanished during a media storm then it'd become an even bigger story. Investigations. Real attention. More than they're willing to get at the moment, especially if you vanish and the connection is made between your kidnapping and the kidnapping of your nephew. They'll have to wait for it to cool down. Reece?"

Reece spoke up then, glancing from Jeremy as his eyes went to him, adding, "The Australian pack will probably avoid you for the same reason. They might approach you, try and talk to you, maybe talk you into something, but they're not interested in the media chasing them if they snatch you." At another look from Jeremy, when he paused, he added slowly, carefully, "Their pack is different to Jeremy's pack. Only the alpha gets to have children and he will probably be interested, even with women already, and might try and trick you, seduce you, all kinds of sly shit. You'd be one hell of a prize. They're ruthless though, deadly, don't underestimate them. I wish I could go with you."

"You can't?" I blinked. I had half assumed that, because Reece was Australian, he would be coming as well. He knew what the Australian pack looked like, didn't he?

"They'd kill me the second I stepped foot off the plane. I'll be here though, giving you information, keeping in contact the whole time."

I nodded. Nick's hand tightened on mine as he looked at Jeremy.

"As I said, Nick, you'll go with her. If we're going to let the media act as protection then it'll help for the hero of her story to be beside her. I'll have to arrange a fiance visa for your return though, Anne, so we'll have to marry you two within ninty days of coming back."

"_Marry_!" Yes, I knew what that ring on my finger meant, I knew what his commitment ideas were, but that word … I flinched as Nick stiffened at my surprise. "I mean, that's soon. That's less than two months."

"We'll take care of that part while you're away. All you have to do, before you contact the Australian embassy, is to fill out these forms. It's a rush, I know, but it'll buy you time to learn how to defend yourself and buy us time to track them down. A happy ending may also buy extra time in the media." Jeremy was standing again. He pulled out a file this time, and not a pretty thin one, but a thick one. "Do you agree to try this?"

"I... yes." I nodded, head swimming. So much to take in, funerals, going home in a rush to delay the mad werewolves chasing me down, a dangerous Australian pack waiting, and a _wedding_ when I got back. Oh, and apparently we now owned a _house_ together. "I think I can do it."

Like I had much choice. The attack on Elena yesterday, even if it wasn't targeted at me directly, was enough to show that they were getting pretty close to figuring out where I was. Some part of me wanted to do this though. I wasn't really ready to explore that and find out which part of this plan I liked best, or which part I _didn't_ like.

"The flights are tomorrow morning. I'll organise all of that. You two, fill these out."

The morning did _not_ pass slowly. Time seemed to creep by instead, as slow as it dared, while we went over the forms. Some things I couldn't provide yet, such as birth certificates or a medical report, but Jeremy shrugged that off. We were getting them ready so we'd know what we needed. I could get that when I got back to Australia.

We went to see the house that afternoon. I still felt stunned, overwhelmed, even a little bit rebellious to that. The house was like Stonehaven in that it was old, probably having been there a very long time, with as many bedrooms and even with a basement. I was, I had to admit, delighted by having a basement. Particularly one _without_ a cage inside it. Australian homes didn't have basements.

It wasn't as large as Jeremy's house either, the bedrooms a little smaller, there was no study, but there was a room above the garage. Another novelty I hadn't ever seen in a house before. Reece showed up with Morgan and Pav and the men were quick to decide which rooms they'd sleep in, only to be kicked out by Jeremy as he reminded them that we got first choice. The couple.

It made my stomach churn.

While we were there, there was a delivery, which Jeremy had clearly been expecting. Boxes with furniture, just waiting for helping hands to put it together, and other stuff. He was taking photos as it came, taking photos of us swearing as we struggled with a cork on a bottle, apparently corks were also evenly matched with werewolves, the camera winking and flashing at every single little thing that happened. Pav took charge of the kitchen, still physically unable to do much, but she could direct Morgan to do things for her.

I figured it out after we'd spent half an hour trying to figure out how one of the beds went together. He wasn't _just_ taking photos of free labour- This was evidence of the happy engaged couple setting up home with some friends.

They paused for food and Nick led me upstairs to choose a bedroom. It wasn't just about that though, I knew it, I knew he'd seen how tense and quiet I'd been all day. Seen how I'd reacted to the word 'marry'. So when he shut the door to the master bedroom and turned to face me, I knew what he'd ask before he did.

"Are you sure you're okay with marrying me?"

"Yes."

"Really? You don't seem happy about this."

"I should be asking _you_ that, remember, you're the one who's a known womaniser." When he frowned, I knew that what should have been a joke had come out as something else. So I reached out, touching him for the first time since the morning, stroking his face. "Sorry. I'm stressed and that joke sounded wrong."

"You're right though. It _should_ bother me that Jeremy's pushing it. It doesn't though. Not one tiny bit." He sighed, shoulders slumping, letting go of whatever anger I'd caused. Nick reached out to hug me and tickle my back with his fingers, hand sliding up under the warm shirt, inhaling slowly.

"It's just ...so much is going on. I'm an orphan and applying to move to America in the same twenty four hours. I... I just feel overwhelmed."

He tensed when I said orphan, when my voice broke slightly, mouth moving to kiss my neck slowly. The smell of him was calming. Whatever storm was blowing around outside this room, outside those arms, it didn't seem to get in here.

"One thing at a time then."

"Where do we start?"

"Bedroom picking. I might not live here for long, I already have a place with Dad in New York, but if Jeremy's going to let us chose a room to keep, I won't pass _that_ up." He stepped back and looked around the room. Besides the box, with a bed still not set up, it was empty and dusty. "What do you think of this one?"

We wandered the rooms then, pretending each was vastly different, pretending to argue. Nick was determined that we test it with a kiss, a bit of a grope, claiming that unless it matched us, it was wrong. The truth was that they were all about the same size, give or take, except that the Master bedroom had windows that opened into the room to allow access to a balcony that was barely a foot wide. It _did_ sit above the pool though.

"Got to have good views." Nick said in approval as he stood on the edge of the slippery balcony, one hand in mine still. "Don't Australians like to swim?"

"Yes. Reece will probably be in it all day if he's staying here."

He frowned at that. Not the Australian he meant, of course, and I could see his mind weighing up the idea that if he could see the pool, then the pool could see him in return. The entire pack, most likely, if summer was as hot around here as it was where I'd lived.

The room above the garage seemed to win in the end. It was large, exactly the same size as the garage, with bay windows that poked out. There was no wardrobe, we suspected it had been used as a games room or something, but Nick decided that he'd solve that himself.

"Plus, it has plenty of room for me to chase you around." He added, grinning, a hand slipping down to stroke against my backside. I pushed him away, he yanked me closer, and we ended up wrestling on the ground, clothing pushed aside, hands and mouths teasing each other. When I felt him prod against me through the pants, and his hand brush against one stiff nipple, we inhaled slowly each other's arousal mixed with the smell of stale air and dust. Nick laughed. "Guess this is our room."

A sudden flash came from the door, Jeremy's face in a wide smile, and he lowered it as we tried to scramble to our feet, yanking clothing back where it was supposed to be.

"Good. We'll get your bed set up then. Noah, Reece, bring that other bed up the stairs." He headed downstairs, going to help them, leaving us.

"Don't mind that it has no ensuite?"

"The ensuite's between this room and the main bedroom. I'll just get someone to move the door to this side." He grinned, moving forward and teased my stomach with his fingers. "No problem."

"Think Jeremy will mind?" I pushed at his hand, grasping it, squeezing it in mine.

"If I pay for it, probably not." Nick glanced at the door, frowning, as he moved to inspect the door handle. "No lock though."

"Better make a list." I didn't feel as bothered by it but he seemed to take that suggestion seriously.

When the bedroom was set up, it was time to do the last thing we had to do before we returned to Stonehaven. A phone call that I knew would be difficult to make.

The Australian Embassy didn't move slowly. When they heard that the funerals, Jeremy had to talk on my behalf then as I lost the ability to speak, were just a few days away, things were rushed. Identity proven with specific questions, as I had no ID anymore, contact with the bank I used to bank with, with the centerlink system for Australia. It took only two hours, with Jeremy's smooth talking, and my input when needed, before they'd agreed to meet me at the airport with a replacement passport to replace the one that'd been stolen.

When I mentioned that it seemed surprisingly fast, Jeremy smiled.

"Elena's got a few contacts in the media and the story's already broken in a few places online. Not to mention the newspapers in Australia, getting ready for tomorrow's papers. Nothing moves this like a bit of media harassment."

We headed back to Stonehaven once it was confirmed, as Jeremy wasn't yet comfortable with how secure the new house was, and after a quick big dinner we were shooed upstairs.

I started to pack and it was really only now, with a suggestion from Nick to take it all, that I looked at the clothing that I'd gotten for Christmas. It hadn't been a high priority. It was clothing, a lot of it from Nick, and I'd left it in boxes, figuring that I didn't need to worry about it.

"Open this one first. Very important to take these. I'll go get my bag while you look." He vanished before I could blink.

I lifted the box, moving tissue paper out of the way, finding myself lifting up something short. It had ruffles, lace, and in a color it described as 'bali blue'. I held it up as Nick came into the room, raising an eyebrow. The matching panties were pieces of string held together with the occasional scrap of fabric. Not exactly the kind of thing I'd pack to wear home.

"It matches your eyes. Going to wear it?"

I shook my head. Threw it onto the bed, going back into the box, finding something else. This was also lacy, silky, with a tie between the breasts. Some kind of pastal babydoll. The panties were at least half there, I thought, but it'd apparently forgotten the part that covered the rest of the stomach. Below that was another babydoll thing, silk and lace, which at least seemed to cover most of the stomach and hips. Sort of. But when I held it out, I could see Nick through the fabric, so I could guess how much it really covered.

He looked very pleased with himself. He moved over, yanking it out of my hands, holding it up. Nick held it to his face, peering at me through the sheer silk, winking.

"How about this one?"

"I don't think so."

"You'd look pretty sexy in it."

"I don't think I could sleep in it. It doesn't look comfortable." I held it up. There were underwires under the breasts, I could picture them digging into my skin. A curvy body meant that my chest wasn't light, it wasn't floating around, it had weight to it and that weight pressing those wires into me, while I tried to sleep...

"It's not meant to stay on for sleep. I'm meant to take it off again." He grinned. A hand moved to sneak across my top, yanking at it, fingers grazing the bottom of my bra underneath. "Like this. Keep looking in the box."

I bent down and tugged the last thing out. It was, to my relief, just plain PJ boxers and tank top. This was also apparently this 'Victoria's Secret' brand but without any frills, lace or underwire to cause me annoyance. Something fell out of it as I picked it up, a pair of boxers covered in kangaroos, clearly not apart of the set. They looked like something a tacky gift store would sell.

"Thankyou." I stood up, wrapping my arms around his neck, and he nuzzled into it. "I'll take one of your ...silk things... with me. I guess you can pick it." I didn't think I could decide, not out of passion for the three things, but because I just didn't care that much. It also distracted him for a good ten minutes while he tried to decide, holding them up, yanking my hair out of the ponytail for 'a better idea'. When he decided, I didn't bother turning around, just let him stick it in the suitcase. If I would wear it, now _that_ was a whole other question. With the anxious anticipation at what we'd have to face in Australia I didn't really want to bother giving it any more energy.

We packed quietly. I found other clothing that I hadn't really looked at, jeans, tops, dresses that looked like they were for the beach, also all in those fancy brand boxes. I had no clue about brands, or fashion, but I suspected that Nick was more of an expert than I'd realised.

Finally I was done, the stuff I needed put in the case, and I sighed. Pushed it away and sat back. It still didn't feel real, even with all this preparation. Something jabbed into my bum and I yanked out the 'missing fabric from the stomach' babydoll from underneath. The underwire was already jabbing me and it wasn't even on.

"Nick?"

"Mmm?" He turned around.

I yanked his shirt off, making his grin return, but I had a different purpose. I pressed my fingers against where Jeremy had made a couple of stitches, checking it, finding that it was more or less getting close to healing. Another day and it'd probably be gone without even a scar. "Just checking."

"It's fine. Do you want to shower first, second, or together?"

"I'll shower first. You've still got to pack." I glanced at his suitcase, not even half done yet, so nearly folded that I had to roll my eyes. He was so neat, neat with his appearance, with his clothing, with his style, hair perfect, skin perfect, nails perfect, and now apparently, _suitcase_ perfect too. "Don't forget it's summer there."

"So no sweaters?"

"They're called jumpers in Australia but... maybe one. We're going to Melbourne." I moved to the ensuite door of the guest bedroom.

When I crawled into bed, Nick vanished into the shower, and I tried to shut my eyes and relax. Nothing. No relax, no sleep, even though I felt physically exhausted.

He slid into bed not long after, snuggling up, lips grazing against my collarbone. When I didnt move, he sighed, sliding back. We'd both had to get dressed, fully dressed, we had to leave in less than four hours. But some sleep was better than no sleep.

I moved then, sliding on top of him, surprising him with a quick adjustment in position. Lips found his neck, his throat, his face, his mouth, kissing him. If the only thing I was certain of right now was that I liked this, liked being here, liked being close to him so our hearts were close enough to hear beating together, that was enough.

"Nervous about tomorrow?" Nick's eyes searched mine when our lips parted, hands moving along my lower back with easy strokes.

I nodded, hair falling around my face, shielding us from the outside world. Then I rested it against his neck, easing my body down against his, resting there. "If I'm heavy, kick me off." I muttered, feeling his heart under my cheek, smelling the scent of water still clinging to his hair.

"You're not heavy. I'll be with you. You'll be all right."

"I don't know if I can face it."

"What?" Nick's head moved up so he could kiss the top of my head, brushing hair across my shoulder so that he could kiss my shoulder as well.

"The funeral. I suddenly feel so young. Too young to be an orp-" I couldn't say it. They'd miss so much. I'm sure they would have loved Nick, would have been amused by this rushed wedding, though I suspect they would have expected a grandchild to be popping out within a few months as well.

"I think no one's old enough to face that. I would have liked to meet your parents. Your mother."

"She would have liked you." It was true too, she hated bogans, hated men who didn't know how to dress themselves, men who needed a woman to feed them and clothe them. The ones that took more pride in how much they could drink during a cricket match than the way they lived. "My sister would have thought you were secretly a gay man."

He laughed, just a brief shake of his chest, arms tightening around me. "Wouldn't have thought that for long."

"No. And my dad..." I shut my eyes. My dad would have tormented him. Not in a cruel way, just in the way a father had the right to when it came to a man with his daughter. Asked him uncomfortable questions. Get him to run around doing things. Not for long but long enough to leave an impression. "How can I do it? Face them? Their friends?"

"I'll be there. You're not facing them alone. Go to sleep, we have to leave in a few hours, get some rest."

I wriggled to the side, under the covers, and let him snuggle against me, his hand finding mine and squeezing it. Sleep came slowly.

We woke in the same position to the sound of a knock on the door. There wasn't really time to do much more than brush hair in the bathroom, dress, and yank suitcases downstairs. Clayton and Elena had gotten up, Reece as well, and we spent a while eating breakfast and saying goodbye. It was strange, surreal, like it wasn't really happening. It was still dark outside and it was snowing gently, not enough to delay or affect our flights. The drive to the airport was long, giving more time for sleep, Reece being the one to act as driver so that Elena and Jeremy both could stay under the protection of Clayton and Stonehaven.

The contact from the Embassy was there, waiting, along with cameras. The media seemed to be waiting for us, eager to press questions on us from all sides, but the airport security managed to shoo them away and get us through to customs. Then the wait, the long wait, the forms, checking, long lines, security again...

The media was waiting on the other side, forcing the airport security to get us onto the plane earlier than they liked. _That_ suited us just fine. It came as a shock to be in first class though. I hadn't thought to ask, hadn't even considered the idea that Jeremy would book that kind of seat, but Nick seemed to not be shocked at all. He just flopped into his seat, yanked me into his lap, and kissed me until I relaxed. I stayed there until it was time to depart and we were off.


	6. Australia

Newspapers waited for us when we got to Melbourne airport. Photos of Nick and myself in the JFK airport making it to the front page news of Australian newspapers. They called it a miracle. Tabloids loved it, loved the emotion of it, using things like 'My parent's death healed me' and other rubbish. The wolf in me hated it, hated that the second we were off the plane there were cameras waiting, reporters, asking questions. Probing questions. How did I feel? It was so difficult to not be rude, to not shove past them, and I knew that the better I treated them, the better this would work.

So with Nick's hand in mine, steadying me from panicking or loosing my tempter, I managed to answer a question or two. I felt overwhelmed but glad to be home. Glad to be in summer again. I felt tired and ready to sleep.

Then he was guiding me through the crowd, through the reporters, through the airport, his hand steady, scent calming me when I knew that he was just as rattled, just as anxious as I was. There was a kind of surreal thing about being here, with Nick, in the heat of summer, like we'd left behind Jeremy, left behind the North American Pack, and it almost felt like I'd dreamt it all.

When we finally made it to a cab outside Tullamarine airport, while the driver loaded our things, I murmured "Thanks."

Nick reached out for my hand, squeezing it, his eyes fixed on the outside world. This was a foreign land to him now, with alien smells, alien creatures, alien ways. I knew how he felt and held his hand tighter, seeing his nostrils flare, his hand tremble slightly as a seagull flew past.

"It's an Australian seagull. Looks different from the American ones."

"That wasn't what got my attention." He gestured towards a man standing on the edge of the crowd, some distance from it, his eyes fixed on us with a calm stare. He also had a camera, an expensive one, and was taking photos of us both.

"Reporter?"

"He didn't smell like a reporter." He replied, hand tensing on mine, going quiet as the driver slid into the driver's seat.

We took off towards the city and I watched the man he'd pointed to, watched him turn and casually walk away, understanding exactly what Nick meant. We were already being watched, warned even, as this werewolf hadn't even bothered to hide himself.

Nick opened his cell and turned it on. There were instantly messages, a number of them, and his face relaxed slightly as he opened one up.

I changed the subject. "Any word?"

"Dad's found his old friend. There was just a little scare with a wild dog in the city, nothing bad." He didn't look at the driver but I didn't need him to. The meaning was plain to me. It meant that Karl had a run in with someone in New York. "Dad's spending New Years with him. Pav sends her hellos, she's feeling much better now, and she's taken over fixing up the new house."

"I wonder why she was forgotten?" I meant, of course, the list Jeremy had listed off before. The human had been hunting for me, Elena or Elena's daughter. He hadn't mentioned Pav. Maybe they'd assumed she was dying or too far gone, or maybe they didn't want a pet that was almost blind, I didn't know.

"I'll ask him." He knew what I meant. I suspected he wondered it himself. "They want to know what your favorite cake is."

"Why?"

"I'm guessing they're thinking about the wedding cake."

I blinked and shrugged. There was no real need for any sort of cake, as far as I was concerned, the whole wedding thing had never appealed. Marriage, yes, that seemed nice. Giant white weddings weren't quite as appealing. "I don't know. Um. Cheesecake. Tell them to not make it big or fancy."

He grinned. "I'll tell them but I don't know if they'll accept that answer. I think Elena's been pushed aside by Paige- it said something about practice for Elena's day. We'll just have to put up with what they do." Nick went quiet as his fingers moved across the screen to answer all the texts we'd gotten while we'd been stuck on the plane.

"As long as you're there. The rest doesn't really matter." I meant that as well. I'd have been happy to do it with just the two of us, a cheap dinner on the beach, and that was it.

He smiled, yanking my hand into his lap, and went back to working it.

Melbourne came into view and I went quiet to stare at it. It wasn't the prettiest city, maybe, but it was the city I'd grown up near. I'd studied fine arts here in this city for years, day after day, found little cafes and places to eat that were cheap and good, found a bar I liked, a park I liked, little lane ways that had the best coffee, second hand book stores that had the most unusual or precious books. Moving to Brisbane for the hypnotherapy course had seemed like a good idea, but that city was strange, I hadn't liked it as much as this one.

We drove around it, coming out to find the Hilton, the people waiting eagerly to take the bags. No media, thank god, and we could make it up to the room without any bother.

The room was, to my relief, not too large or over the top, but not too small for the time we'd have to use it for. Two rooms, a bedroom, and a small living room, giving a little bit more wriggle room. Nick was on the phone, arranging for them to get a hired car for our use, so that when we needed to go for a slightly longer run we'd be able to do it with as little attention as possible. The room also looked over the Yarra River and I wondered how it'd look in a few days time when the New Year fireworks were going. That would make for an interesting view.

"Not bad, is it?"

"Bit small. I might get it upgraded." Nick glanced around, crossing his arms, shrugging.

"Seriously?" It seemed big to me, more than big enough.

Nick grinned, suddenly lunging for me, yanking me to the ground in a pounce htat nearly had us both crash into the coffee table. He lay on top of me, yanking me under him, and sat up to push the table aside. "See? We nearly hit the table."

"I don't think they designed it for this." I wriggled, making his hand tighten on my shoulder. "I need a shower."

"Bath?" He nodded, pretending he hadn't heard shower, and stood up. "A bath sounds fun. I'll run it."

I hadn't meant for fun, going to answer, but he grinned at me in such a way that I just couldn't argue. I let him head off for the bathroom and got up off the floor, straightening the table, going to wheel both our suitcases into the bedroom and our carrybags.

The newspaper sat in the front room as well, I noticed as I went back in, folded neatly onto a desk. I didn't look at it again, just shoved my bag on top of it, covering it up.

Hands lifted me up, I yelped, Nick hoisting me over one shoulder. He kicked off his shoes as he did, one hand steadying me on his shoulder, the other going to his belt. In a smooth motion he threw it off, undid his pants, and kicked them to the floor with his boxers.

"What are you doing?" Silly question, very silly, as I watched his behind come into view, dangling over his shoulder. His hand yanked my shoes off.

"Bath time."

I was carried into the bedroom, in a few steps, into the bathroom, and felt him slide into the water. With me still in the dress I'd worn on the plane.

"I'm dressed!" I was yanked onto his lap, Nick's shirt still on, he quickly unbuttoned it and dropped it into the shower nearby. Hands yanking me back into his lap when I tried to get out.

"I know." Nick grinned. "So slow. I warned you about a bath too."

He yanked at my panties, fingers hooking under them, pulling them aside. They sank inside me in the water, his other hand pulling me against his bare chest, hardness pressed up against the inside of my thigh.

"I should take this off..."

"Too late. I've caught you now." He bit my neck hard, trying to push himself into me, growling as I twisted loose in the slippery water and slid backwards in the bath away from his body.

"Not really..." I stood up, turning around, moving to get out again. My body was excited though, this part of the fun, knowing that he would... that I would... the teasing was just extending it, drawing it out. I had teased him on the plane, all the way here, with little touches, little whispers, then I'd pretend I'd said nothing. I knew he'd spent that whole trip just wanting to drag me into the toilet. The power of this, this attraction between us, it was comforting. Turning my back on him? Just another tease.

With a growl, he lunged forward, trapping me between the edge of the bath, yanking my panties down my thighs. With a thrust he pinned me, hands cupping my breasts through the wet fabric, a groan of relief as he finally achieved what I'd teased him about for hours.

"So mean to me." He whispered, against the back of my neck, grinding his hips hard against mine. I moaned, softly, making him chuckle. "So mean to you too."

Water splashed out of the bathtub as he withdrew his body and then suddenly was in me again, stretching me, hands gently tugging my dress down, the bra off, throwing it to one side. With my breasts loose, his fingers teased them, stroking over the nipples, hands cupping their weight in his hands, shivers of delight running throughout me.

When he started to really move his hips, water splashed out with the force of it, the bath moving with his body, I could only grasp onto the edge of it and not try to fall out. I turned around though, sudden, catching him by surprise, yanking him against my chest as I settled down in his lap. I moved slowly, pausing and ignoring his please to yank the sodden dress and bra off completely, shutting my eyes, controlling exactly how this went, which didn't seem to bother him in the slightest.

Pleasure grew, so slowly, the warmth of the bath surrounding us, his breathing hitching against my ear as I moved just a little too slow for him, teased him just a little too much, as if he was struggling to control himself. I held him down with one hand and when I came it was slow, long, incredible, and so damn powerful that I had to hold on just a bit tighter than usual. I collapsed against his chest, before moving a little faster, a little harder against him, until he came as well, warmth again flooding into my hips.

After three hours in the bathtub, thanks to the TV, another long session of 'exercise', and fifteen attempts at ignoring Nick's cell, we finally gave up and slid out of the bath. Turned out a lawyer was downstairs at a nearby cafe waiting to meet us for lunch and Jeremy had been trying to get our attention. I was tempted to suggest we pretend the cell had died until I saw the message from him. It was a meeting about the legal side of the funeral. We dressed in a hurry, throwing clothes at each other, before moving downstairs as fast as we could.

"How will we know who she is?" I muttered, yanking one of my thongs on my foot, as we came out of the lift, my hair still dripping wet.

"Don't know. Jeremy said her name's Melissa. I suppose if she's booked us a table she'll have her name."

The cafe was fifteen minutes, at a hurried pace, down along the river near the casino. We stepped inside and I felt a little undressed for this kind of place, even for lunch, a little too careless and casual with the dressing. Nick looked at home. This was one time I wished I had that natural sense of dress and fashion he did, wished I knew how to dress, because it made me stand out more than a sore thumb amongst all these perfectly preened humans.

"Next time we go out, you pick my clothing." I muttered. He grinned and nodded, then pointed at a woman, who waved at us.

"Deal. I think that's her."

She stood up and waited for us to sit, and when we did, relaxed. I understood how she'd known us then, she had a copy of the newspaper opened up to the page, using the photos of us as a reference.

The woman was exactly what a person would picture a lawyer to be. Nearly dressed, all suited up, her black hair pinned back, glasses even. Her suit was clearly made to flatter her figure, suitcase made by some premium label, even the glasses seemed to flatter her face.

She was also not human. I couldn't tell this by smell, exactly, but I had this vauge sense that whatever she was she was not young however youthful her face was.

"Nick, Anne? I'm Melissa. I'm glad to meet both of you. Your alpha called in some favors with the interracial council to get some assistance that was more-" She paused, as if finding the right word, "-delicate and more understanding with this. Please, take a seat."

We sat down outside, beside the river, and ordered food. When the waitor was gone.

"It's not an easy day to get things done, legal wise, but I managed to get some infomation and get the right contacts while you were flying down." She was undoing the suitcase, pulling files out, pausing to allow the waitor to pour her a glass of red wine. "Ignore the werewolf behind you."

We both, naturally, inhaled just as she said it. There was a werewolf behind us, the same one as the airport I assumed, ten or more metres away.

"I've got my eye on him." She said, softer, though her gaze didn't leave the paperwork she'd been looking through. "The first matter is the move to America. Now that you're legally not missing, you're Australian, so we'll have to get this fiance visa sorted. I've got a doctor who'll see you on Monday, we're working on getting the birth certificate printed again, and the rest I'm working on. There is the matter of your nephew, Matthew. He is missing, legally, but the process of becoming his legal guardian is already well underway. In order to ensure he's allowed to go with you to America, you'll have to add him to the paperwork."

I nodded, grasping my own glass of wine, sipping it. Hopefully it'd help me relax.

"Nick will have to go through an adoption process but that shouldn't be a problem."

"Adoption?" Nick froze, just a fraction of a second, his voice raising.

"No problem with that, is there?"

"No. I guess I wasn't thinking that far ahead." He smiled, a warm smile, but I knew him enough to know that his tense leg meant that something was wrong with that. Some part of me wanted to be angry with him, he was so keen on marrying me, it was logical that he'd be involved in this too. But I didn't feel angry. I felt sympathy- this entire thing was moving so fast, too fast, and who could blame him when he'd just been told he'd have to adopt a child? I knew Matt, sort of, I could handle the news better. It also raised other problems that I knew we'd have to discuss later.

So much for relaxing while we were alone.

"He'll naturally inherit his mother's estate and his older brother's belongings, but as the legal guardians, you're both going to be the ones who control the money and decide how to use it."

"What about a trust fund thing? You know, those things that only open when a person's twenty one or whatever age it is?" I had no desire to have, spend or use any of that. I didn't want to know about it, honestly, I just wanted to get it over and done with.

"I could look into that for you. I'd recommend, as your lawyer, that you leave some of it free for your use. There's a few expenses with raising a child and I don't think his mother would mind if you had to spend her money to care for him."

She was right. Susie wouldn't have cared in the slightest how I spent it as long as I spent it on him. If I spent it though, it meant she was really gone, that she no longer needed it. I nodded, swallowed, took another sip of the wine.

"There is one minor problem though." When she had our attention, she lowed her voice softly, so that only our hearing could hear it. "The state requires you to prove your identity to the deceased via a DNA test. Do you know if the DNA of a werewolf is unique once changed?"

We shook our head and she sighed. "I'll call your alpha and see if he can find out. It may cause a headache for me but it's my job to find a way around this. Clearly you're not pretending to be her, I can sense that, but we'll still have to prove it to the humans."

Our lunch came then, plates of food for us, and some kind of salad for her. She shook her head, smile shadowing her lips, as she took in the amount we'd need. "I'm a little envious about your metabalisoms, I have to admit."

"What are you?" I asked, then hesitated, wondering if that was a rude question. "I mean... if you're wanting to share..."

"I'm sorry, I should have added that earlier. I'm a half-demon. My talents tend to come in use as a laywer- I can sense when people are trying to scheme or lie. Made me a rich woman." She laughed, shaking her head, and the glint of tiny diamonds on her earlobes caught the summer sun for a second. "So lunch is on me. You'll not be poor once your own inheritance comes through. It may take a month or two."

"My inheritance?" I hadn't even thought about that.

"Yes, and the insurance on top of that. Another time we'll need that DNA test but I'll work on that. There'll also be any money from interviews you'll do in the next week."

"Interviews!" I paled. "What interviews?"

"I've recieved a few offers from magazines and newspapers for an excluive interview from the two of you. Your alpha, Jeremy, seems to think that doing one may be helpful. They're offering quite a bit of money." She smiled. "Not a dull couple of days since I agreed to take over your case."

"I don't want that money. No interviews."

"Would you mind if it was donated to a charity of your choice then?" She didn't seem to falter at my refusal, not at all, moving on smoothly. "An interview and the money donated to a charity would work in your favor too. Publicity will keep you safe, even if it takes privacy away, and it won't last forever. They'll move onto the next big story and forget who you are."

"I suppose a charity, if Jeremy approves..." I muttered. "I guess I could do one."

"Excellent. I'll let you know who and where, coach you on the right things to say, and make sure that they know exactly how hard the law will come down on them if they overstep even one of the rules I'll put down beforehand. Leave it to me." She was still smiling but I could sense something there. I wouldn't want to cross this woman. She wouldn't just take a person down, she'd do it legally, till they had to change their name and hide on a desert island to escape. "Think about what charity you'll sponser though. Or maybe a few- the offers aren't small ones- we could probably offer this to a few different groups."

I nodded, fumbling for Nick's hand under the table, and found it. This was starting to feel a bit speedy again.

"We may as well eat up. I'll leave the rest till after our meal."

We ate, trying to eat without people staring at us, and the food vanished slowly. It was amusing to see Melissa's speed match ours though, eating her food so slowly that it didn't seem to be going anywhere, when we had at least three times the amount she had.

When we had eaten enough to stop our stomachs from complaining, she handed me an envalope, her face serious again.

I opened it to find an invite to the funeral on the third of January. I paled, tears threatening to explode all over the plates suddenly, the little piece of cardboard bring the whole thing home. It was probably my sister's best friend who'd organised all this, she'd probably paid for it too.

There were two names I didn't know. Bella and Elizabeth. Bella and Elizabeth? Born 19th November, 2011, died 23rd December, 2011.

"She had twins." I realised this with a fresh flood of grief. Of course. The newspaper article had said three children had died and Phill wasn't a child.

"I'm sorry, I thought you knew." Melissa blinked at me.

"I didn't ... I guess it was obvious. I just ...couldn't put it together." Twins. She'd had two daughters, twin girls, no wonder why she'd looked so pleased with herself in hospital. I couldn't take anymore. I stood, her face filled with surprise, nearly knocking over the glass of wine I hadn't been able to finish. "I think I want to go to my hotal room for a while." I said, fumbling with teh invite, trying to get it back into the envolope it'd been in. Nick took it from me to slide it away carefully.

"Of course. I'll be in contact tomorrow about the interview. Have a good night." She stood up as we stood up, and we headed back to the hotal, the walk suddenly a very long one.

I sat there all afternoon, staring at the invite, at the little mosaic of photos on the back of it. I didn't cry. I wanted to cry, I really did, but my throat was too swollen to allow any of it to come up. So I just stared at them instead, these photos, while Nick moved to the bedroom to quietly talk with Jeremy and let him know how the meeting had gone.

Then he came to sit beside me, wrapping an arm around me, gazing at the photos as well. Mum looked tired, older, but happy. Dad looked exactly as I'd remembered him. My sister also looked older, as did my nephews, and the babies so new, so young, so fresh to the world.

"How old were your nephews?" He was staring at the photos of them.

"Twenty six and ten."

"Your oldest nephew was twenty six years old?" The look on Nick's face was priceless, enough to shatter some of the sadness I felt, give me energy to explain that little oddity. I'd explained it many times to many friends in the past.

"Susie was already knocked up when Mum got pregnant. She didn't tell mum, but when she found out Mum was pregnant, she lost her temper and moved out into her boyfriend's place. Then she turned up a month later, five months pregnant, dumped by him for one of her friends, and Mum was apparently furious. Dad planted himself on the door next to Susie saying that if Mum kicked her out, she kicked them both out." I laughed, a soft laugh, breaking past the swollon throat, "She did. They spent a day in the caravan before her hormones had calmed down enough bring them both home then she turned into mother hen and offered Susie the granny flat out the back for a home. Susie gave birth to Phoenix-" I saw his lips twitch and I shrugged "-who we ended up calling Phill and then I was born a month later."

"It must have been a full house growing up."

"Phill was like a brother, I guess, yeah. She got married and moved out with Phill and her husband, Chris, when I was starting high school. Then a while later she got pregnant with Dylan. Chris died from cancer when Dylan was just a few months old. I guess he knew he was going to die because we found out that he'd stored his seman for her. He knew she wanted a daughter. She refused for years to do anything then one day at Christmas announced she was pregnant again. Matt showed up and she was so happy with him. But I guess she tried again and had her girls after all."

Nick reached over to hug me, not saying a word. We sat there and watched the yarra river, cruise boats moving past, already with people getting into the New Years party mood.

"Did you want to go out for New Years?"

"Why?" He seemed geninuely surprised at that question.

"I know you like to go out to places, drink, have a good time."

"I love it, yes. Not tonight though. I'll stay with you here." He squeezed my waist, shrugging.

"I might want to go out tonight."

"If you go, I'll be with you, but there's no pressure. We chose this room so we could see the fireworks without leaving." He hesitated and added, "I also don't know if that werewolf knows where we're staying but it's possible."

I had forgotten competely about him. I nodded, understanding, knowing that to Nick security was also a major factor. Maybe it should have been to me as well but somehow I just didn't care right now.

Silence fell as we watched the city again, watched the boats, the people walking along the side of the river, coming in and out of the aqurium on the other side. I loved that Aquireum, had even bought a yearly pass, loved the fish, pengins and the sharks.

"Are you okay? With adopting Matt?"

He tensed, shifting back a bit, and I knew the answer. Nick muttered, "It's going to take a little getting used to."

I nodded. Again the urge to get angry came but I pushed it down. He'd been happy with a speedy marriage, which had been a bit much for me, comfortable with the sudden flight to Australia, and even could put up with being in potiental danger by some dangerous Australian pack that were ready to kill Reece for some reason I didn't know. Now he was going to be a father, whether he liked it or not, unless he decided to not marry me.

I suspected that wasn't even an opition for him, as difficult as it was for him to get used to the idea, he'd made it clear what he wanted even when I seemed to hesitate about the commitment.

"Nick, I'd rather you tell me what's going through your mind, even if you think I won't like it. I don't mind you being honest."

He glanced up then, nodding, lips tightening. "I want the same from you. I... didn't want children. I toyed with the idea when Elena was pregnant but ... it never was something I really wanted that much." Nick said, after a while, as he reached for the menu. He tried to focus on it, tried to look casual, but his face was tense.

"I did want children."

He nodded, folding the menu and putting it aside, but picked it up again, rolling it around in his hands. Nick didn't answer, just avoided my eyes, gazing out the window.

"Guess htis is the kind of discussion we should have had before you decided to marry me."

"I told you, I knew that an hour after we'd met. It wasn't even really a choice."

"Guess introductions don't usually include 'So, do you want kids one day'?" I tried to joke but it came out dry, humorless, and he shrugged. I felt a bit rejected though, at his words, that he'd had no choice to marry me. Like it was an obligation. "You don't have to marry me. You have a choice."

He blinked and seemed to realise what he'd said, sliding forward, yanking my hands into his lap and squeezing them. "No, that wasn't what I meant. Sitting there next to you, listening to you jabber about something, it was this sudden realisation. There you were, sitting next to me on the plane, and I'd found you when I hadn't even known I was looking for you." He leaned forward, kissing my cheek, brushing hair out of my face. "Far as I'm concerned, we're already married, the wedding's just to give our friends food and a good party."

"But you don't want children and I-" I wasn't even sure if that was possible now. Elena had children, sure, but I wasn't sure if it was possible for me. I swallowed. My throat was swelling again. I had to try nad cry somehow. "I would have liked to try. Not straight away but sometime. I'm sure that wouldn't have made it easy."

"We've got years, Anne, I wouldn't have worried about it." He shrugged. "Maybe I'll like the idea in five, ten years? Who knows."

"What about Matt? How will we do this? If we can-" I trailed off. I was going to say, if we can rescue him, but I couldn't say that. It made it sound like there was a chance we couldn't.

"We can get him and we'll find a way."

"How? Where will he live? He's a human, with the werewolves?"

"He could live in New York with us. Good schools there, lots of things to do."

"But then we'd be vanishing all night some nights to change. In the middle of New York. There's no forest close- we couldn't just vanish for a few hours."

"Then he could live in the house Jeremy bought. He might not even notice if we're gone all night then and he's safe enough there. I bet Logan and Kate would love to have him running wild with them in the forest and at school."

"But you work in New York, don't you?" He nodded at my question and I sighed. "Then you'd be gone all week and I'd only see you on weekends."

Nick frowned. "Yeah, I wouldn't like that."

We went quiet. The reality of this was starting to weigh down on us both now, the reality of having a five year old child with us, and just how restricted this was going to get.

"Jeremy might let him know about the pack. He's going to be around them enough and he probably knows now anyway, given who has him." Nick's eyes narrowed, cracking the plastic menu cover in his hands.

"THen he might want to become a werewolf too. Imagine if you were a human and you grew up around a pair of werewolves, and they changed, and you didn't." If he did become friends with Logan and Kate, if they did become terrors in the forest together, I couldn't imagine how lonely it'd be for them to have that him not.

"He might want that." Nick muttered. He seemed to think about it for a while before continuing, "Jeremy might wait till he's old enough to know the risks. There'd be a point where we can't protect him and trust him to decide."

He was right, of course, but I just wanted to protect Matt. He was a little kid who liked big trucks and painting. Maybe he'd always be like that for me.

"We'll find a way to live together and keep him safe." I muttered. There had to be some answer to all of this.

"It's not something you have to worry about right now. Jeremy can fig-"

"Nick, I love Jeremy, but there's some things that he can't decide. inturrupted Nick. He was too used to giving everything to Jeremy to decide on, too fast, and this was one thing I couldn't let Jeremy decide. I doubted he'd want to, he wasn't the guardian of Matt.

Nick nodded and his shoulders slumped. Reality was pressing down on him too. We were already responsible for Matt's future and we hadn't gotten him safely back yet.

"I could work three days and do two days from the new house." He said, after a long pause, glancing up. "Don't have to do it all in the office. I think Dad would find a way to make that work."

"I guess that might work." I nodded. I felt a kind of pride in Nick then, because as much as he didn't want this role, as hard as it was for him to let go of his life in New York, he was trying. "I guess we could stay in New York too, from time to time, let him get used to the city, you freedom to go out still." THat was for Nick, more than Matt, because I knew that Nick actually loved the city. That was a bit odd for a werewolf maybe but he blended right in with that.

"Would you want to come out with me? If Dad offered to babysit?"

I nodded and he relaxed. Leaned over to kiss me, gently, hands brushing against my face.

"It can work. We'll figure it out. We just have to ..." I trailed off, the photo of him in that cell filling my head, rage, guilt for being so far away. I had to be here, I knew that, but my instincts all screamed to rush home, claws out, and protect him with every last breath in my body. My blood, my nephew, the puppy. Puppy? That had to be wolf instinct, I realised, this bloodlust. Protecting the young.

"We'll get him home." He moved to sit on the couch, holding his arms out, and I stood up to join him.

"He might be hurt. Or scarred in ways we can't heal." I let him lay us both down, with me on top of him, resting my head against his chest. Doubt filled me now, doubt about how I could do this, how I could mother him, how I could even think to raise him when I was so young myself. So hurt. So scarred. "I don't know if I'm good enough to ...help him. What if I make it worse?"

"He might be scarred." Nick's chin rested against my head. "You'll do as good as anyone else would though, and probably better, because he knows you."

"He was pretty young when I left."

"Doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry that you got yanked into it."

"Don't say that word. Life yanks us around and all we can do is cry when we need to, yell, growl, and find ways to enjoy what we can." He lifted my head, nipping at my lip gently, warm brown eyes helping ease the turmoil of emotions swirling around me.

A vibration made us both jump and he reached into his pocket to tug out the phone, pulling it to his ear as his hand strocked across my back.

"Hi Dad."

They talked as I lay there, Nick filling in what had happened with the lawyer, and I very plainly heard laughter coming from the other side when Nick told Antonio about becoming the guardian of a five year old boy. It was so loud that Nick had to hold the phone away for a good minute.

Then he put the phone to his head again and said to me, "Dad says it's about time."

"He wanted grandkids?"

"No. He thinks it's about time I grew up a bit." He grinned, speaking to me and the phone at the same time. The hand that'd been stroking my back suddenly slapped my backside and slid under the jeans to grasp it, stroking it. "I'll never really grow up."

"Agreed there." I muttered, resting my head back down, letting him get back to the phone call. "Peter Pan." I shut my eyes, breathing in and out, letting the day drift through my head. In some ways, the responsibility I felt for Matt seemed to overwhelm the grief somehow, give me purpose, a way to channel that grief in a way that made sense. Would Susie want me to do any less? She'd want me to make sure that he had every possible chance to recover because if- no, when- we got him back he'd need it. I'd lost all my family but I'd gained another one, before I'd known they were gone, and I'd found someone. Matt might not even know I was alive, not for sure, he had lost his entire world. Even his pet dog.

They were still discussing Matt, I knew, and I suspected there was someone else in Antonio's background joining in as well. When I heard both sides quieten, I muttered, "We'll have to get Matt a new pet dog. He grew up with one and it died with his family."

Nick twitched at the idea. "Not happening."

I heard it, very clearly, Antonio's voice on the other side. He had heard me and he agreed with me.

"But Dad, a pet dog. We're werewolves, we don't have _pet_ _dogs_."

They argued over it, though not very seriously, before Nick did a mock sigh and raised his hand in defeat. It only could raise a fraction- he hadn't yet taken it out of my jeans. "Guess if Jeremy thinks it's a good idea, I can't argue with that, but it'll need _good_ training."

They moved onto security then, discussing the werewolf trailing us, I could hear other voices. Maybe Antonio had put it onto speaker phone then. I still didn't care, I just let them discuss it, let them stress over it. New Years eve, that concerned them, they didn't want us to leave the security talk extended to the interview and funeral then. That was the point I decided I didn't want to hear anymore and I went into the bedroom to put clothing on clothes hangers, shaking them loose, letting Nick deal with that part.

Nick came in with the phone half an hour later, when the discussion was finally over, and handed the phone to me.

"How are you doing?" It was Jeremy, voice calm, relief washing over me at the sound. Why, I didn't know, but somehow I liked hearing that voice. Liked hearing the authority in it, the care, all of it.

"I'm doing unpacking. That's all I _can_ do." I felt a little relieved at his voice as well, I realised, like it wasn't all a dream after all. "I think if Nick wasn't here, I might have thought it was a dream. Thankyou for sending him."

"You're welcome. I'm sorry I couldn't send anyone else."

We paused, listening to a sound in the background, someone calling. One of the kids. They must have come home. "I'm on the phone to Anne, Logan, I'll come down in a few minutes."

'Tell her hello and I miss her meatballs.' I heard the voice, the kid I'd barely talked to, before his feet faded away from the phone.

"Logan misses your cooking. We'll be glad to see you when you come back."

"I heard." My throat constricted again. I did miss them all. "I think I would come back tonight if I could." Escape the funeral, escape the reality of it, all of it.

"We're here when it's over with. Was Melissa fine to work with?"

"She was good. How is everything there? With finding them?"

Jeremy paused but clearly thought that I was too far to do much, so he answered honestly, "We're making progress now. There's been more humans in town than we realised- we've been trying to find each one with some assistance with a few Russian werewolves and one of our old friends from the interracial council. The human servants don't know their faces so they can get close enough to smell or see the markings. We've found four so far. Three who work for same werewolf you knew, and one for another wolf, that Pav identified as the werewolf that captured her. They were eager to supply information in the hope that we'd adopt them instead. They seemed to assume that all werewolves had servants and slaves."

"What are you doing with them?"

Another pause on the phone. He sighed. "It's been said that, as they were aware of what was being done to the girls they helped capture, that they're responsible for their actions. I have to agree with that. We've decided to give each a trial, as this is going beyond just werewolf now, but they're not going to be found innocent based off what they said."

"So they'll be..."

"It won't be drawn out." He cut me off. "They knew that they were helping kidnap innocent women and girls. They knew that the girls and women would possibly die, or be raped, or be made into slaves, and hoped that they'd be bitten so that they could get their own chance at it. Don't feel too sorry for them."

I nodded, swallowed, and tried to change the subject. Pav floated into my mind. I felt bad that I hadn't asked before we'd left. "Why didn't Pav come with us?"

"She was too sick." Jeremy paused, as if he was listening to someone, before adding, "We think they've given up on her. She was left for dead when they noticed she was beginning to go blind. You took her away the night before she was, as they called it, going to be put down. The human, who was working for the werewolf she was kidnapped by, was there to capture a couple of new girls from as close to Stonehaven as possible."

"She didn't tell me that." It explained suddenly, why Pav's wife had been so aggressive, so instant that Pav leave. "I guess that's why her wife didn't want me to take her as well."

There was a long pause. "She didn't want to upset you."

"How is she? Can she get her sight back?"

"She is getting better every day now. She can see movement and shapes but she'll never get the sight back. Her hearing, however, is getting better than I've seen in any werewolf, bitten or hereditary." There was a sound in his voice, a smile or something. Another pause, a voice in the distant background. "She says happy new year."

"She can hear me?"

"She can hear everything." I could hear the smile in his voice now. "She also says that your kitchen is set up in the new house."

"I suppose that's a suggestion that I'll be using it when I get back."

"We're all looking forward to a house warming feast, yes. We're almost out of your leftovers. Speaking of which, it's time for me to go. Goodnight, Anne. Enjoy tonight and stay safe."

"Happy new year."

"You too." He was gone then, clicking the phone off, and I lowered the phone.

Nick's hands snuck around my waist, tugging me onto the bed with him, nuzzling against my neck. "You okay?"

"I think I miss it there." I turned to face him, reaching up to play with the dark brown curls, the back of my fingers brushing against the side of his face.

"It's your home now. Our territory." He replied, leaning forward so our foreheads were against each other, shutting his eyes. "Jeremy forbids us from going out tonight. Not even out of our room. We're stuck here."

"I suppose it's the wisest move. I was almost tempted to go out." I muttered. I shut my eyes as well, arm above my head, still playing with his hair.

"We'll order the most expensive stuff on that menu, best alcohol, and send him the bill. Get me the menu." Nick rolled up his sleeves, or made the gesture anyway, his short sleeves not really long enough for anything more than a push.

"Sounds like a good plan." I got up and headed for it. We lay there, thumbing through it, reading what was offered.

Nick found the page on the executive lounge and blinked. An idea seemed to come to him and he grinned before grabbing for the cell and dialing something.

"Jeremy? I know you said to not leave the room bu- I know it's late there, give me a moment." He stood up, leaving the room, leaving me to lie there blinking on the bed.

It wasn't long before Nick returned with a triumphant look on his face. "He agreed."

"To what?"

"This room's got access to the executive lounge- a place with high security only for the guests paying for expensive rooms. That means that only guests are allowed in and they'd be high profile."

"So?"

"So I asked if we could move around the hotal, security's pretty tight, and Jeremy agrees it should be safe. We'll go for dinner downstairs and then to the lounge for a drink."

"Really?" I sat up. Now that we'd been forbidden from leaving the room, all I wanted to do was get out. Even for just a few hours.

"Well, he sort of mumbled, sounded like a yes. He should have spoken clearer, sleep's no excuse." Nick shrugged but he turned the phone off with a wicked grin. "What have you got to wear?"

"I don't know. The stuff I got for Christmas, some jeans, it's all in the wardrobe now." I shrugged. I'd ended up dumping half the plastic bags in a neat pile in my case, at the bottom of the wardrobe, with the stuff I'd wear most hanging up. "I'll get something later."

He went to unzip my suitcase and rummaged, clearly intent on deciding this part, and I just let him. I lay back and shut my eyes. Clothing wasn't so much a big thing for me. I went for colours, shapes sometimes, but that hadn't always been a successful method. When he lifted out one of the summer dresses I had seen briefly, I asked, "What about that?" It looked light, not too warm, and didn't stick out too much.

"Too casual." Nick shook his head. Went back to his task. He glanced over his shoulder, grinning at me, adding, "You're as bad as Elena."

"Usually it's women who care about this." I yawned, watching him, as he held up something a little softer, a warm purple, a little closer cut. It looked a bit too formal to me but the color wasn't bad. It looked a bit short though, to me, the hem just above the knees. I wasn't used to wearing anything that wasn't jeans. "That one?"

"I like it too." He nodded, throwing it onto the bed, before digging for shoes. Heels appeared, high sandal type ones that were designed to slip on, complete with scary stiletto sticks jutting out from the bottom, that had apparently been in the bag with the dress and that matched it perfectly.

"I can't wear those."

"Sure you can. It's easy. Just keep your weight on the toes." It sounded simple when Nick said it, but I wondered how he knew. Women or personal experience? "Try it."

I did try it and found that it wasn't easy at all. But he was right, sort of, about the weight thing. After five minutes I was able to balance enough to walk, as long as the walking wasn't slow, and if I did loose my balance the shoes were slip on and I could get a foot out to steady myself fast enough to not fall over.

It did sort of feel sexy too, I was taller, closer to Nick's height from here. So I sighed, agreed to wear the heels, and got ready while he made sure we had a table downstairs waiting for us. Dress clung, letting just the right amount of cleavage show. There were two layers, softening it against my body, making it light and airy in the warm summer night. Once my legs were shaved, heels on, hair brushed, I almost looked nice.

Nick seemed to like it. He grinned at me, stopping to change as well, taking twice as long as I'd taken to get ready. It was worth the wait though, he stepped out in a tailored suit, brown curls controlled, taking my breath away. The man was handsome, beyond handsome, and he _knew_ it. He had the confidence of a man who really knew that not only did he look good, he knew that everyone else knew it too.

He took my hand, slipping a single diamond bangle on it, and kissed it. We headed downstairs, eyes on us at every step, I felt them staring. Felt them wondering. Nick just strode along, an easy smile on his face, not caring in the slightest how many people noticed us, his hand in mine.

We slid into a small table for dinner and ate, teasing each other with food, flirting, relaxing in the little private area. Nick made sure that we ordered expensive things, reminding me that this was going to Jeremy for keeping us in the hotel all night, got the wine out, and by the time the dinner was over I felt a bit tipsy, a bit giddy, the heels not assisting that much.

A phone call during dessert changed Nick's mood though. He stiffened, eyes moving around the room, nostrils flaring. Then a tight, "We agree," before he cut the call off.

"What is-"

"The alpha and his son are here. They order us to leave the first flight after the funeral." His eyes locked onto someone behind us then, I twisted around to see who, an older man with a youthful man beside him. They looked very normal, very formal, but their eyes locked onto me and I knew that they were exactly who Nick had been speaking to.

"Can we do that? Visas are difficult..."

"I'll call Melissa and Jeremy. Head up to the room and stay there, I'll be close behind, I want to speak with the desk for a minute about something." He kept his eyes on the pair of men as he stood up, pushing the last of his dessert aside, all trace of joy and relaxation gone.

I moved to stand up, the alcohol making that slightly difficult, but headed to the lift. It was fine to be a bit tipsy, with Nick at least, to loose my head. But there was a sense of danger that I didn't like and it worried me. Fear was already creeping into my chest and tightening it. That only got worse when the alpha, who had followed me, got into the lift beside me and closed the doors behind us.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the fear, but I forgot what room I even stayed in when he asked. Was it 510? 605? 610? His eyes locked on me in a way that made my heart freeze and a cold sweat break out. I mumble some answer, refusing to look at him, refusing to acknowledge him even there. I glanced at the key card, trying to see if it had the number written on it, which it naturally _didn't_. That would have been terrible security.

The alpha's eyes were fixed on me, openly moving up and down my dress as I stood there, his nostrils flaring with my smell. It moved so slowly, much too slowly, time crawling as I found myself on level fifteen. I was sure I'd said level seven, hadn't I? I went to get out anyway, deciding to go down the staircase, not wanting to repeat another ride with an alpha that stared at me like that. I knew that I was not safe, not at all safe, that I was in some serious shit if I didn't get into my room. Why had I drunk so much?

I stumbled, finding the staircase, heading downstairs. I heard feet behind me, heard the calm breathing of the older man, his shoes easily giving him enough traction when my heels slipped, screwing up my walking. I'd have to take them off. I bent down, reaching, when a hand grabbed my shoulder, shoved me against the wall, the man's body suddenly pinning me there. He was breathing hard now and I could feel his erection through the pants, pressing against the front of my dress, making it clear what he wanted.

A hand tore against my dress, ripping one of the straps, his mouth biting my neck so hard that I yelped, crying out, clawing against him. This might have worked with a human man but not with an alpha, not with a fully grown werewolf who was skilled in fighting, and he just twisted me around so my back was against him, pinning me there as he twisted my arm.

"You may as well stop trying. I was only going to have a smell but fuuuck..." A long deep inhale. The voice was low, full of his arousal, his hips grinding into my behind while his free hand groped between my legs through the fabric. "Fuck, woman, that smell of yours, like you're just begging for any werewolf to come along and mount you right up. Don't worry, I'll you back to your pretty werewolf when I'm done, though I'm tempted to change my mind about that offer after all and keep you." When I struggled, he tightened his grip on my arm, hissing. "This is _my_ territory. You do want I want."

I twisted around, agony screaming in my arm, struggling still, refusing to give up. An elbow connected with his face, making him swear and stumble back, but his hand stayed tight around my wrist as I tried to get back from him, tried to yank my wrist loose.

A fist connected with my face then, brutal, not holding any of that werewolf strength back, knocking me into the wall and dazing me. I must have blacked out a moment because it was the sense of being winded and flung across the handrails, my lower stomach crunching against it, that brought me crashing back to reality and almost back to earth as well. I almost fell forward, almost falling the fifteen floors to the ground, only to be yanked up from behind. He grabbed the back of my dress with one hand, his breathing hard, the other sliding under my dress and bra to squeeze one breast so hard that tears pricked in my eyes. I couldn't get a grip on the stairs, my legs were dangling too high, my hands unable to get a grip on anything.

"You're no Elena, I hear she'd have given me a real fight but you're good enough for now." He laughed as I struggled, letting me go a brief second with both hands, only to grab me again when I started to fall forwards again. His hands dug into my hips so hard that I knew that he'd leave bruises there, massive ones, hand shaped ones. "Move and I'll let go without regret. Now hold still a moment."

He moved to fumble with his belt with one hand, the other holding me firm against the handrail, and I heard it get flung to one side carelessly. The hand moved between my legs, as he kicked them wider, ripping the panties with one tug down the middle and yanking each half down my thighs. Fingers invaded me, pushing against my unprepared body, the pain and betrayal of that intrusion giving me a sudden understanding of just how this would hurt on every level possible. Rape was going to hurt me more than anything had ever hurt me in my life.

"Please... don't do this." I pleaded, fear screaming in my head, knowing exactly what he wanted to do. He was a father, he had a daughter nearly my age, surely he had something in there that wasn't bad.

"It's a tough world, sweetheart, no women rights bullshit. Here you're just property." He seemed to only get turned on by my plea, his voice filled with that sound I never wanted to hear from another man in my life, fear curling in my stomach at the knowledge that there was nothing I could say to convince him to stop. He was unzipping his pants, pushing them down with one hand, struggling a bit, pushing them all the way down his hips. "You should feel privileged that an alpha wants to fuck you at all."

He didn't notice my legs bending, didn't notice till stilettos met his bare thighs and he screamed and stumbled backwards, and by then it was too late. We were both falling then, him down the stairs, me down the middle of the staircase, my hands scrabbling for something to cling onto, the gaping hole of the emergency staircase and all the floors to the ground floor underneath me. Hands connected with metal, arms screamed in protest as my body jerked in a sudden stop, but my hands held and the fall was stopped.

I struggled, panting, swinging as my hands tried to get a better grip on the metal railings. One leg came up, one foot tried to get onto the concrete, only to find the slippery fabric of my dress and fall back down again. I swore, sweat beading down my forehead, and tried again, trying to yank my dress up as high as it could go. The sole of the shoe slipped, just for a second, before the shoe fell off and fell.

I hung there, panting, trying to get something back. I tried again. Bare foot had better traction than a shoe, and it held somehow. I hoisted myself back up over the bars with every ounce of strength I had in me, falling awkwardly on the other side and rolling.

I was up in an instant, ready to battle, ready to fight with everything I had.

He lay down the stairs, eyes blank, his head at an impossible angle with his body. There was no doubt that he'd broken his neck, it was obvious with his body facing the wall and his head facing up the stairs at me, but I still tensed, fear screaming in me, expecting for him to get up at any second and come back at me.

He just lay there. Dead. A foul smell filling the air around him, urine, where he'd pissed himself as he'd fallen.

I had to go past him, I had to get my key off him, and I stood there, panting, rivers of sweat making the dress cling. The movement towards him was slow, tense, every muscle ready to leap backwards the second he stopped pretending dead and came for me, even though I could see he was dead, even though I couldn't hear his rushed heartbeat any more, my instincts terrified of what he could do.

With every last scrap of courage I had, I inched closer, avoiding the puddle he'd left, bending over to yank the keycard out of the pants that were still around his ankles. Then I rushed down the stairs, only pausing to yank the remaining heel off, trying to remember where I was supposed to be going. The number of my room still evaded me and I was too terrified to spend any amount of time trying strange doors, possibly confrontations with whoever was inside, which meant that I'd have to go to the lobby and ask for help.

I decided to play drunk. They'd believe that on New Years Eve- that I was some drunk bimbo who'd lost one shoe, forgotten the room number and had lost her fiance somewhere. I got into the lift, ignoring the stares by the people inside, and stumbled out into the lobby.

I heard Nick before I saw him, voice raised, giving orders like I'd never seen him give orders before. He was waving an arm around at the desk, clearly upset, and when he saw me he nearly fell over himself with relief.

Only for a second though. His eyes took in my appearance, the sweat, the dress bunched up around my waist a bit too much, my blood nose, his nostrils flaring as the smell of my fear, blood and panic and sweat overtook him, and his face tightened.

"Sorry, darling, I got a little lost. I lost a shoe and hit my nose." I did the drunk thing very well, the glances between the hotel workers obvious, but they were quick to pretend as if this was no big deal.

"Would you like us to assist, Miss?"

"That's all right. I'll take care of her." Nick's voice was tense, chipped, and it almsot seemed as if he was angry with me. I knew better, they didn't, and they hesitated. Clearly they didn't want me to go with an angry fiance, bloody, thinking that perhaps he'd been the one to hit me.

"We're happy to help, Miss, would you like a drink of water?"

"I said, I'll take care of her." He was yanking me, hand closing around mine, and we headed for the lifts. More stares, these ones averted when Nick's eyes burnt into them, challenging them to say something, to speak, to get in his way. I squeezed his hand, trying to calm him, and he shuddered against my arm.

Once we were in my room he relaxed, making sure the door was locked, before turning on me and leading me to the bathroom. As Nick gently wiped the blood from my face, I told him what had happened, voice trembling. His hand slid up my thigh to find the panties still there, still in two pieces, and he growled. But he let me finish and when he did, only then did Nick ask, "Did he ... before he died..."

"No."

Nick's body shook, his head coming down to meet with my shoulder, relief flooding through him. He would have never forgiven himself, I knew that, it was deeper than pride for a werewolf. Raping me would have been as effective as raping him.

"What will we do about his body?"

"Fuck him. Let them find him like that." He growled, stepping back, and helping me stand.

"I don't think we can... he's not human."

He grunted, shrugging, as he helped me step out of the dress, tossing it at the garbage bin, the panties following. After a minute he sighed. "Yeah. You're right."

"His son's going to be pissed."

"Pissed?" Nick blinked. He thought I meant drunk, the aussie slang going over his head.

"Pissed. Angry. Do you think he'll honour that offer, that we're safe as long as we leave after the funeral? Can we even do that with the visa crap?" I trembled, feeling dirty, wanting to shower. The feeling of that alpha's fingers in me burnt against my memory, making me feel sick, but also relieved. Anything more and I'd have been a wreak.

"I called Melissa. She can make it happen. I'll call the son, he gave me his number, and tell him it's his problem. He can find that fucking coward of a fath-"

"No." I cut him off, yanking the phone out of his hands, and shutting it before it dialled. Nick blinked at me. I stepped into the shower, turning it on, trying to wash the sweat and shit off me. "No. He's alpha now, isn't he? Dad dead, he's alpha? Jeremy has to do it."

Nick slumped and sighed. He was yanking his own shirt off, clearly intending on joining me in the shower. "Yeah, you're right. Course you're right."

"Don't shower. Call him right now. Find out what he wants us to do."

He nodded, took the phone from me, kissed my hand and went into the little living room.

The spot the alpha had touched me felt like the fingers were still there, which they clearly weren't, like I'd never get that part clean again. I had to let it go though. He touched my body, sure, but he'd not done it with my permission. The only person that mattered was the person who had my permission. I listened to Jeremy and Nick as they talked, Nick telling Jeremy everything that'd happened. At some point he decided to put it onto speaker.

"-t me on speaker? Good. Get them to upgrade you if you can. Tell them you want an early honeymoon before the wedding."

"You sure you want us to do that, Jeremy? Wouldn't moving to another hotel be safer?"

"If the hotel staff finds the body and connect it with Anne's appearance, no, so it's safer to stay put. I'll call up the son, Andrew, and inform him that the agreement still stands."

"Yeah, okay."

"Give the phone to Anne and get downstairs into the lobby. Make sure they know you'll pay anything if they can get you upstairs before the fireworks start."

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me as Nick handed me the phone. He hesitated, reaching over to kiss me, before hurrying outside as he tugged on a fresh shirt.

Jeremy didn't speak till he heard the door click shut behind Nick, and when he did, he was tense, voice softer.

"While Nick's gone, I thought I'd double check, in case you'd decided to hide it from him a while. Did he rape you?"

I shook my head, remembered that Jeremy couldn't see me, and answered, "No. Close but no."

There was an audible sigh of relief on the other side. "Good."

"Will the son really let us go so easily? It's his father."

"If he's smarter than his father then he'll know there's bigger problems for him than revenge. Alpha isn't always passed down from father to son- there'll be all kinds of mutts in Australia going for the role as soon as the news breaks- he'll be busy trying to establish his own power."

"I guess so."

"You'll be home soon. I'd send Antonio but there's no real point. How's your jetlag?"

"I forgot to have it." I laughed, a dry laugh, rubbing my head. I was exhausted but so stressed, so strung out by this, that I just didn't notice. "I guess I'm not that tired."

"Nick said similar. Both of you go to bed after the fireworks and sleep. I'll take care of everything."

"That's an order?"

He laughed softly, knowing I was teasing him, relief in his voice. If I could tease then I was coping still. "_Yes_. Now you better pack up your things so you can move. I'll send a message and call if I have to. Goodnight."

I said goodnight and turned it off. As I waited for Nick, I dressed, and started to stuff things into bags, checking under the bed, trying to make sure that we didn't leave anything behind. A hotal like this would proably mail anything we forgot to us, as long as we paid the costs, but I didn't want to leave anything anyway.

By the time Nick came back I was done, both our stuff packed up in a messy pile in suitcases, waiting.

"They'll send up the porter in fifteen minutes to move us so we get upstairs before the fireworks. We were lucky, they had a cancellation last minute for some sort of king relaxation suite, something about a flu." He made a face. "They wanted to know if I wanted the Honeymoon upgrade."

"I'm guessing you said yes."

"I did say we wanted to start our honeymoon early, so I really couldn't say no. All packed already?" He sat down beside me, wrapping an arm around me, and we waited quietly.

The porter led us upstairs, his eyes darting to my nose as if he'd heard about it and had to check, the bags moved into the front room of the suite. It was on the corner, a more spectacular view of the river than the last room, and with a bathroom that looked out across the entire river. We explored it when the porter was gone, hand in hand, not willing to let go of each other.

"We could watch the fireworks from the bath." Nick commented, gazing into the bathroom, but he didn't smile. '

Rose petals had been hastily thrown across the bed in a love heart, the petals going from the bed to the steaming bath and covering the surface, a bottle of genuine champagne waiting on the table, a tray of fruits and chocolates beside it. There was even a little bed against the window in the tiny living room, probably designed for massages in the room, all of it over the top and indulgent. It made us laugh then, just a little, at how absurd the whole thing was. But that didn't really matter.

"Want a bath?"

"They did run it for us." I really just wanted to be near _him_. The bath was just a bonus. We undressed, taking the bottle of bubby and food with us, and stepped inside it, parting the petals, and I moved to sit in his lap.

We sat there quietly, my head against his shoulder, breathing in the comforting calming scent, eyes shut. Nick offered me food, from time to time, or stroked up and down my back, letting the lightly scented water trickle down my back. The petals were fragrant, even more so for a werewolf, but not too overpowering. The alcohol helped us both relax.

He watched the world outside our window, clearly understanding that I didn't want to talk, chin on my shoulder. After twenty minutes gently squeezed my shoulders and pointed outside.

Fireworks were exploding everywhere. The display was incredible from this view, fireworks exploding all around the hotel, showers of colour and ear numbing explosions overwhelming us both. I twisted around carefully so that I could watch it from between his legs, his knees rising up so that he could hold me between them, offering me a fresh drink and food.

When it was over, after half an hour, and our ears stopped ringing, he leaned forward to kiss my ear.

"Guess that makes it 2012."

"Happy new year."

"Happy new year."


	7. Farewells

Sleep didn't come easily for either of us, we tossed and turned, and were exhausted by morning. Nick got breakfast brought up, neither of us wanted to face anyone any more than we had to, and we sat at the window eating quietly, hands grasping onto each other, the other making sure our stomachs quietened down.

Jeremy called after ten, clearly hoping we'd slept in, sounding disappointed when he found out we'd been up since six. He informed us that it'd been taken care of. Andrew would not bother us as long as we were on the first plane after the funeral, Melissa had found a way to rush the process, and I was allowed to return to America with the correct visa until the fiance visa went through. I suspected he might have found a way if she couldn't- he did not want us sticking around any longer than we had to. I'd killed the alpha and that caused problems. The flight to New York was only six hours after the funeral had ended.

Melissa called near to lunch, letting us know that she'd agreed on our behalf to an interview with Women's Day, one of the tabloid magazines, and they'd been more than happy to pay our share to a charity or two of our choice. She knew what'd happened the night before, at least some of it, reassuring us that the interview would take place in our hotel room the next morning. We had to do nothing, just wait.

I sat in the room all day. All desire for excitement or exploration had gone now, just a sadness, one that made me sit there on the couch and two hours pass by in a blink of an eye. Nick didn't know how to handle that, he kept coming and going, at one point spending an hour on the phone to Elena, before eventually going to the gym to take out his frustration.

There wasn't much I could do to help him though. I'd had enough of excitement, of passion, of all of it, I just wanted to sit there and stare at the wall. Watch the shadows slowly creep across it as the sun moved in the sky, the lights from outside appear as it got dark, watched the room grow dark after nine at night. Even my fear of the dark didn't change it. I just sat there on the couch, staring out the window, all emotion gone. It was like my body just wouldn't cooperate.

He came in after ten, panic in his voice when he found the room completely dark, clearly knowing I was usually afraid of the dark. "Anne? An- shit, not again." He'd assumed I'd vanished again.

"I'm here."

He found a light switch and relaxed when he saw me sitting there. That didn't last long when Nick saw I hadn't moved, not an inch, I was exactly where I was when he'd left me hours ago. He moved to sit on the couch beside me, tugging me into his side, and it broke the spell. I shuddered, tears leaking out, letting him. The tears came without emotion, without anything, as if something had just broken inside me.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I thought you'd be better on your own."

"I was. It's okay. How was the gym?" I was avoiding it, avoiding thinking about the things I had to think about, all of it.

"Good. What's wrong?" It was a silly question, he knew it, he knew more than anyone else what'd been going on. Nick inhaled as he tried to correct it, "I mean, I know what's wrong. Can I help?"

"Order me some dinner?"

"You haven't even eaten?"

"Have you?"

Nick shook his head. He didn't let go of me as he reached for the phone and the menu, getting them to send something up as fast as they could, one arm kept securely around my shoulderss.

"How are you doing?" I asked him when the phone was hung up. He shrugged.

"I was a little angry. The gym helped. I'm feeling good now, just worried about you." Nick's smile was relaxed, easy, and I knew he wasn't lying. "Elena seemed to think you'd be better on your own for a while."

"She was right." I thought she was right, at least, though even I wasn't sure about that. Elena seemed to know, apparently, and I was happy to accept her wisdom there.

"Jeremy's emailed us some photos to offer for the interview tomorrow of the house and of us. I suppose he knows what he's doing there." Nick shrugged.

"I guess he does. He is pretty smart." I shut my eyes and leaned against Nick. Was it jet lag? I wasn't sleepy still.

We moved for dinner, my legs complaining at the movement after so long of being still, going to sit at the little table together. I was picturing it, what I'd have to do in two days, facing the friends of the family I'd lost. Who had organised the funeral? Probably the best friend of my sister, from the looks of the invite, but should I have done that? I wasn't even sure if I'd know how to start. It looked like the funeral would be for all of them.

"Do you think I'll have to speak?"

Nick glanced up from his steak, blinking, and he took a moment to understand what I meant. "You might be expected to but I don't think you have to."

"I don't know what to say. I've never been to one before. I don't know how I'll do it." I didn't know. Would the bodies be on display? Probably not. Bodies, of my parents, of my sister, of her children, all together. Hidden in coffins. I suddenly wasn't hungry and pushed my plate to one side.

"One foot in front of the other." He didn't seem hungry either, putting his fork down, instead moving to stroke my fingers with his. "We'll worry about the interview, get that done, and then we'll pack. Get into a car and go to the funeral."

"What about changing?" I meant to wolf. He blinked and seemed to realise that we'd have to do that, tonight or tomorrow night, like he'd somehow lost that in all the craziness.

"Do you know of a forest we can go to tonight?"

"There's one but it's not that close. At least two hours away."

Nick nodded and started to eat again. "Then eat up, we'll need it. I wonder if we can hunt a kangaroo?"

That made me smile, and he grinned, pushing my plate back at me. I ate as well, making it go down, making myself finish every last bite.

We headed downstairs and made our way east of Melbourne, using the GPS, finding the national forest I'd been thinking of. It was the largest I knew of close to the city and hopefully would mean that we'd not be spotted as wolves. Australia did not have wolves, big dogs were shot or trapped by the rangers, and we didn't need to stir anything up. But I'd chosen it for another reason as well. I needed to see it again before Tuesday.

"The funeral is going to be near here." I told him, finally. "They lived near it. We grew up in that forest."

Nick glanced at me and nodded, reaching over to stroke my hand, before he returned his attention to the road.

We pulled up a short distance from where there was a fire road and made our way down it in the dark, the warmth clinging to the night, hand in hand. The smell of the rainforest filled our nostrils, the dampness, the warmth of it, the insects singing in the warm night. It must have been a wet winter, if it was still this wet now, and that meant that bushfire would be unlikely.

I told Nick that as we walked, softly. "I used to spend summer in Brisbane watching the news, worried about Mum so close to the bush, because bushfire already came close to her house several times."

A kangaroo hopped across the road in front of us, startled by our voices, turning to gaze at us in the darkness. It was confused, probably, not used to smelling humans like us. Nick froze and stared at it like it was an alien from another world.

"Is that-"

"A big kangaroo. We'll have to be careful- there's no predators around here."

He inhaled sharply, drinking in the smell of it, the musky fur, the damp feet, and I waited patiently. I may not have had the nose I had now, when I was last here, but I knew these smells. There were no smells of werewolves or dogs out here. The Australian pack clearly didn't bother with this forest, probably using one of the more distant ones that had more land to run and hide in.

It moved away into the bush and we continued along the road, rocks crunching under our feet, until we were half an hour away from the car and knew we wouldn't be disturbed. I found a space, he wasn't far, not sure if I'd even manage it. But it was better to try and get it over and done with before we'd have to go to the funeral, before the flight, easier to do it now.

I was surprised by how easy it was. Not any less painful, not by a long shot, but it seemed easier and faster to will the change than it ever had. Was that because I knew this land since I was young? Because I'd been practising this? Because I needed to change for a while? Nick took longer this time, I was pacing around the forest waiting for him, feeling completely at ease and at home in the rainforest. When he joined me, he padded up, rubbing against my side, clearly waiting for my judgement with this one. Whatever he was in the American pack, however much he was higher up in roles, here I was the expert and he was more than happy to let me lead.

We made our way through the bush, through streams, racing each other through the thick undergrowth. It was much thicker than it was at Stonehaven, more little bushes, and I found myself having to slow down more than once to let Nick get himself out of a particularly thick patch.

We tried hunting a kangaroo, finding it much more difficult than we'd expected, the kangaroo much more agile and fast than we were. And when we finally caught up it whirled around and kicked, so hard, so strong, that it knocked Nick several metres away. There was not going to be much chance with it and I saw why when I got close enough to really get a good smell. There wasn't just one scent there- there were two. It had a baby in its pouch and wasn't just fighting for itself, she was fighting for her young as well.

I wheeled onto Nick, snapping at him, before leading him away. He seemed confused but followed. We came across rabbits as we were leaving the kangaroo alone, confusing him again, but they were good hunting and I didn't feel bad for it.

We changed back beside a river, not far from each other, and made our way back to where we'd left the clothing concealed.

"Two questions." Nick called ash e came over, striding across the ground with his clothing in his hand, not pausing to dress before he'd reached me. "First, why not a kangaroo. Second, Australia has rabbits?"

"Too many rabbits, it's a huge problem over here. Some idiot let some go and suddenly there's millions." I answered him as I dressed, tugging the jeans back on.

"The kangaroo?"

"It had a baby."

He nodded, satisfied with that, though there was a little roll of his eyes. He dressed and stretched with a big yawn.

"I'll buy you some kangaroo meat for lunch. I suppose hiding a kangaroo corpse would have been hard to do anyway." I promised him, reaching over to button his shirt for him, stroking my fingers across his chest. It wasn't quite the same, I knew that, but hunting a kangaroo would have additional problems if the body was found and it was identified as a dog attack.

"They're bigger than I expected, yeah." Nick nodded, reaching for my hand, and we made our way down the road again.

"There's some smaller ones but most are endangered. Only the big ones are everywhere."

I fell asleep on the ride back, Nick's hand in mine, his spare hand on the wheel. When I woke, we were at the hotel and he was trying to lift me up without waking me, the hotel staff watching on with amusement. They'd probably assumed we'd gone to a nightclub. I stumbled upstairs, Nick leading the way, letting him do the scouting ahead. For some reason he wasn't the slightest bit tired. Was that jet-lag? Maybe. I was exhausted, mumbled a reply to him when he reminded me that there'd be an interview that morning, before collapsing into bed.

I woke up to the sound of many voices invading our private space, all instincts suddenly alert, all muscles tense and ready for action, my cheek so damn sore for some reason, sitting up straight in bed just moments before a knock on the door.

"Sweetie?" That was Nick, using a word that he'd never used before, his voice a little fake. A little strange. "Liz? The crew's here."

"Elizabeth, or um, Liz, I'm the stylist for Women's Day. Can you please shower and wash your hair... but don't use any products or make-up!" There was another voice beside him, hesitant but determined, sounding like a woman with a job to do. "Don't worry if you look a bit hungover. Also, just put on a robe, we've get something nice for you to wear."

I blinked, sliding out of the bed, the name Elizabeth confusing my sleepy brain. Oh yes, I was Elizabeth, that had been my name. I'd forgotten that the whole world, at least right now while they were entertained by me, knew me as that. That sorted I went to touch my cheek, cringing at the warmth of it, seeing that it was sort of purple. Ow.

"Don't worry. I won't touch the make-up." I wasn't sure if I'd even brought any. I had used it before, I wasn't that out of touch with fashion, but as little as I'd gotten away with. When I was a teenager I'd come across the face of a prima ballerina in her late thirties who looked fifty and realised that was what happened when a woman wore make-up every day for years.

There was a soft snort from Nick from where he stood guard against the bedroom door, like he wasn't quite willing to risk the strangers coming in before I was ready. He hadn't ever seen me wear make-up.

Turned out I did have make-up in the bag I'd brought and one look in the mirror made me want to squirt the whole bunch of it on. My face was pale, dark shadows under my eyes, a stunning purple and red bruise across my cheek from where the alpha had given me one hell of a punch, I could even see the knuckle marks. Somehow the 'I fell while drunk' excuse wouldn't cut it for this one. When I tugged the jeans down my hips I found that he'd also left some bruises on each hip and the rail one across my stomach.

Nothing that could be done about it now though. I hopped into the shower, washing hair, letting the cold water snap me out of any exhaustion and jet-lag.

The reaction to my face was shock from no less than six strangers, Melissa's eyes moving in the most subtle blink, where as Nick just looked at me like he'd already seen it. Then the quick connection between my face and Nick, as was probably natural, though it pissed me off to think that anyone could think Nick could do this.

I shook my head, trying to smile and shrug it off. "We went out last night to celebrate for New Years. Drunken brawl, I was beside it, wham. Sobered me up pretty fast."

"We're considering pressing charges. Please, don't mention it, as it may become a legal case." Melissa spoke up, voice so smooth, so to the point, as if she wasn't shocked at all. "I hope this isn't a problem."

"Shocking. No, no, I can cover it." The woman who I assumed was the stylist was staring at it as if she was forming a battle plan, not getting ready to put on make-up.

"We were going to interview you first but maybe you'd like to get the photos out of the way." That was someone else, an older woman, putting a small video camera aside. "I'm Nadine, I'll ask questions. This is-" And she rattled off names, pointing at the six strangers, each name vanishing from my head as fast as it'd gone in. Two stylists, two camera people, Nadine and her trainee assistant who was busy trying to pour coffee from everyone.

"That would work." Melissa answered for us, making it clear that she was running this, not the interviewer. Her eyes moved across the stylists, giving them to order to start without saying a word, making one of them flinch.

"Right. Okay. Jess, wheel the pink case over, I think the smaller one's not going to do. we'll get started at the table."

Wheel that case? As I was herded towards the little table, Nick close behind, I glanced back to see a suitcase being wheeled behind us. Was that the clothing?

It was makeup. A ton of it, so much that they needed a large pink case with wheels, and some kind of fold out mirror complete with lights that they got working with a flip of a switch. I was sat down, one of the women sitting down with me, and they went to work.

Jess, the other one, would hold up clothing against me as her co-worker went to war with the bruise, shaking her head occasionally, her silvery blonde hair reminding me somewhat of what Elena might look like if she spent hours in the bathroom, plucking, preening, her face suggesting there'd been a little too much jabbing botox and stuff into places. She was surprisingly nice though, friendly, good sense of humour, and it baffled me why any woman would go so far with 'beauty' when they were clearly gorgeous every time they smiled.

When she'd found the right outfit, some kind of cream and blue dress with little crinkles along the bust, she went to work on the hair while my face was painted and prodded.

It wasn't that much fun. I was relieved when they'd finished, sighing, face a little stiff. One look in the mirror made me inhale and realise exactly why women got obsessive with this stuff. I looked fantastic. No bruise, no dark shadows, my usually dark red-blonde hair all glossy and golden in the sunlight, done so that it fell in loose controlled curls instead of just falling wherever.

"My turn?" Nick moved closer, eyes fixed on me, like he couldn't quite believe it himself.

"You-" Both women turned to look at him. Sure, they may have seen him before, but they didn't hesitate to drink in the sight of him again for a good thirty seconds. He was dressed perfectly, probably in some fashionable thing, hair in his own dark loose curls, skin perfect, his arms lean and fit. I had to join them in the gawking because no matter how many times I saw him, it was apparently never enough. He was beautiful.

It was Jess who spoke, shaking her head slightly as she answered, "You're perfect like that. Okay. Liz, you get changed into this."

The photo shoot took over an hour. We sat, we stood, we hugged, we cuddled, we ate, we gazed out the window. we displayed sadness, joy, love, regret, grief, happiness, or we did our best to. Reality helped me display the sad ones, at least at first, before Nick started to laugh at the words 'wistful, not depressed, but energetic'. Then I just couldn't help it but laugh with him.

He gave them a copy of the photos Jeremy had sent for the purpose, after Melissa had gone through each one and approved it, and we took a break for lunch. I was starting to really be glad she was around, she asked questions constantly, wanted to know how photos would be used, and without saying a single word she made it clear to the interviewer that if this article went in any kind of negative spin that Melissa would take it personally.

We sat down for the interview, ignoring the camera people as they set up cameras, Nick's hand resting gently on my knee. This was the part I'd struggle with. The part where we had to talk about emotions, not just pretend for a camera.

It started off about Nick and myself. How we met, how we'd fallen in love, what had we done, how he'd proposed, generic questions that might have been asked of any couple. He didn't lie as much as he could help it but he seemed to enjoy it, enjoy embellishing it, the women eating every single word up with the wide eyes of star struck teenagers instead of professional journalists. Nick's proposal became 'a holiday to the snow, we went for a walk to a romantic breakfast set up in the snow, and proposed there' instead of the fact- we'd been sitting on our wet bums in the wet snow and he'd spontaneously decided to give me a Christmas present before we went for breakfast and Christmas morning.

We struggled a bit more with how we'd picked the house, making them hesitate as our stories didn't quite match, but I was quick to explain that as how we'd spent a while not sure if we wanted to live in New York or live further out in the country. We'd given up on finding the perfect house until we saw it then we knew.

They accepted that. Loved the 'love at first sight' story, about how we'd met on the plane, but gone our separate ways, only for Nick to find me bleeding on the side walk days later and carry me off in his arms to the nearest hospital and take me home when I recovered enough. They hadn't just loved that, they'd sighed, nodding, making one of the men operating the camera have to cover his mouth to 'cough'. The reality of the past ten months was a little less romantic but they didn't have to know that.

It got a bit less amusing when we got onto my family though. I struggled with genuine emotion then, grasping for Nick's hand, he squeezed it as I tried to explain. I may not have had amnesia but I didnt have to lie about the shock, the hurt, the grief, and the fear for Matt when I saw the articles. They kept asking questions, probing questions, probing deeper into that pain, till I even felt tears prick my eyes, causing them to jump and decide it was a good time for a coffee break.

That lasted for only a minute before they jumped back onto it. We discussed Matt- what message i'd say to him, what I felt, if I had a message for who'd taken him, if I even thought that'd happened. They asked how Nick felt about becoming a guardian to him, which he'd grinned and said that we'd already discussed children, so it was just speeding that part of his life up a bit more, making him glad we had spare rooms in our house. They took that as 'I want children!' and that 'teenager with crush' expression returned. A sigh. They adored Nick. Any idea that he might have hit me was long shattered and replaced with this adoration.

The last part was about our plans for the future. The wedding, of course, we explained that now that I knew myself again the wedding would be rushed but we looked forward to it. To be honest, I dreaded it, but I wasn't going to tell them that. Nick said he was looking forward to showing Matt the forest around the house, which they nodded, smiling, sighing. Bringing Matt home to be with his family. Melissa, who was hovering over the interview's shoulder, nodded a brief curt nod as we emphasised that part.

Then it was over and we stood up, shaking hands.

"You can keep the dress." Jess called, as she helped pack away the make-up suitcase.

"What charities did you want us to donate to on your behalf?"

I had thought about this only a few minutes but somehow the answer was easy. "My Mum and dad-" I hesitated, swallowing, that flood of emotion threatening to rush into my face, "-they were always supporters of the royal flying doctor service and the CFA. So them, if that's possible, and the Starlight Children's foundation."

Melissa nodded again, just a fraction, as if she approved of that. They nodded, scribbling this down, before they were gone downstairs.

"Good work." She said as she moved to help us gather up all the coffee and snacks onto the trays.

"Who are they?" Nick asked, glancing at me from where he was trying to wipe up spilt coffee off the table.

"The royal doctor service are doctors who fly to remote areas like the outback to help people out there. The starlight children's foundation run a little entertainment area in the children's hospital and grant them wishes if they're badly sick or dying. The CFA are our country fire-fighters."

"All very good choices." Melissa moved to stand up, brushing her hair back, where it had fallen a fraction. "I assume that bruise was from the fight yesterday."

"Yeah." I reached up to touch where the make-up had covered it up.

"It'll fade soon." Nick moved over, casually, easy as he found my hands and yanked me backwards into his chest, chin on my shoulder.

"I did hear werewolves healed fast. Another thing I envy a bit." She smiled as she checked her phone. "I have to run, I've got some other things to do. I'll be back later today with the last of the things you need to do."

She was gone then, leaving us alone.

The hotal were more than happy to clean up the room while Nick showed me the the executive lounge. We ate up there in the sunlight as we took full advantage of the buffet. It was deserted, except for the occasional hungover looking suit man or woman passing through for a coffee, giving us the freedom to tease each other with our feet 'accidental' brushing against the other's legs. Or thighs. Or other areas.

"You're gorgous." Nick said at one point, suddenly, eyes snapping to me.

"It's the makeup." I wasn't fooled. I was still preened all over and wearing that dress they'd picked for me.

"Na. That's just hiding the bruise. You're always gorgeous."

"Thanks. So are you. Always."

Still, it made me wonder if it would really hurt to wear a little more makeup sometimes. Surely it wouldn't hurt. I wondered how he'd gawk if I put one of those skimpy things he'd got on as well. I was almost tempted to try it.

I was going to try it. It would be a fun distraction from what the hell had been going on.

"Are you going to the gym?"

"Not now. Maybe later."

"YOu may as well do it now. We need to sleep tonight." Sleep, and other things I hoped, shocked by how much I missed that. It'd been only a day and I was already wanting him, even after almost being raped, which led me to wonder if that was normal or if I was sick. Was it wrong to want that intimacy with someone I trusted so deeply when the rest of the world was churning around me? I hoped not but I had no experiance with wanting this from anyone else.

Either way, he had to go to the gym now, and I had to put that Victoria Secret thing on while the makeup still was good.

"So gym?"

"Fine, I'll go up." He raised an eyebrow at me. "Coming?"

"Maybe tomorrow morning."

"I'll meet you downstairs in an hour then." He tried to read me, tried to figure out what I was on about, but when he found I wasn't tense or upset, Nick relaxed and the smile returned. "I'll shower too."

"Sounds good." I liked the idea of a shower. Sweaty Nick, not such a bad thing, but clean Nick was better.

I made my way downstairs, heading for the lift, tummy bulging a little from all the food I'd managed to consume. Good food. High quality stuff that they probably kept only for that lonuge place.

I didn't get that far though. Hands grabbed at me, yanking me into the staircase, hands that I didn't know. I knew the face though, knew the grief in it as clearly as I knew my own, found myself face to face with the alpha's son. He almost went to hit me, almost, but he seemed to have restraint.

"I've come to make sure you're leaving tomorrow."

"We a-"

"You get the fuck out of Australia. Got me? Never come back. If you step one foot back in Australia after tomorrow, even a toe, we'll hunt you down ourselves."

"We are leaving."

"You _murdered_ my father." His hands were tensing, digging in, clawing into my arms, the grief and rage filling his face. Lust too, traces of it, the smell drifting up around him. "Right here. You left him _here_."

"He was going to-"

He cut me off again, inhaling sharply, stepping closer. His body was against mine, nose against my bare shoulder, drinking in the scent. His voice was almost groggy "That's your fault for fucking smelling like this. My father ... I should..."

Fear reared, screaming, and I knew that however lucky I'd been yesterday, today wasn't the same. This werewolf was young and I had only been lucky. But I was going to claw whatever I had to...

"No." Andrew shoved me backwards, suddenly, shaking his head like he was trying to clear my scent out of it. His eyes became clearer, anger, not exactly all at me, his fist clenching and unclenching. "Fuck. Get out of Australia tomorrow. Don't ever come back. I don't want to see you or hear of you or smell either of you. Understand?"

"We understand." Nick's voice cut in, over mine, cool, icy, and with a low threat in it. He moved to stand beside me. I wondered how long he'd been standing there, watching, listening.

"I can't guarentee her protection. You better stay with her." That made me blink as his voice almost seemed to show something else. Concern? Was he angry with me or concerned?

"She can protect herself pretty well. I think yesterday showed that." Nick replied, still cool, but his hand on my arm was tense.

Andrew frowned deeper, anger, but he shook his head again, trying to get some control. When my scent hit him he swore, but stood his ground, not willing to show anything that might be seen as submissive behavior.

"Come on." Nick murmered, yanking me backwards, the two of us backing up towards the door for that floor. "We're on a flight tomorrow. You won't see us again."

Once we were through the door we turned and headed for the lift together, Nick's hand sliding down my arm to take my hand, not speaking until we'd come out of the lift and entered our room.

"No gym?"

"I thought I better make sure you got back safely." Nick replied, relaxing as he locked the door, turning to face me. "He didn't seem pleased."

"He was there?"

"Hovering around. I would have told you but you seemed to have other plans. I'd be happy to hear them." He moved closer, smile widening, stroking up my bare arms, though he didn't sound like he really meant it. It was more of a show for me, I suspected, a confidence he wasn't really feeling.

"I think I'm not in the mood now." Fear was still there, making my heart race, but also curiosity. Regret. I knew how it felt to loose a parent, fuck did I know, but what could I have done?

"Neither am I." Nick agreed, climbing onto the bed sideways, smile fading. "Damn. Do I miss the pack right now. This kind of intimidation thing is where Clayton is good."

I crawled onto the bed beside him, kicking off the thongs, and tugged a pillow over for each of us. "Should we tell Jeremy about this?"

Nick nodded but neither of us made a move for the phone. We lay there, staring out at Melbourne, watching the boats on the Yarra again.

"He didn't seem so bad." Nick, said, after a while, when we'd both relaxed and were breathing normally. "Upset though."

"I guess I can't blame him for that. I almost feel guil-"

"His dad tripped down the stairs because he'd put his pants around his ankles. You didn't put them there." Nick cut me off. Eyes snapped to me, daring me to argue, but I didn't disagree. He was right, that was probably why the alpha had fallen so hard, he'd bound his own legs up just before I'd kicked him.

"You're right."

"Damn right, I'm right. If he wanted to live he shouldn't have tried raping you. One of us would have gotten him in the end."

We went quiet, still watching the world, hands gently twisting and playing with the others.

"It's never easy loosing your dad though." I said, quietly, remembering the grief in Andrew's face. It mirrored the grief in me exactly. If I came face to face with the person who killed my father would I show as much restraint as he just had? Probably not. There was a kind of respect for him then, suddenly, this new Australian alpha. His father was an ass hole but it was still his dad. "Even one like that. You always think they're immortal, that they'll be there forever, always around. Then..."

I swallowed. Then they vanished from your life and all that was left was this sudden desire to ask them questions. Find out about their lives. All those questions I'd never asked them, never thought I needed to, always assumed I had time. What had they been like as kids? Why did they choose Elizabeth for my name? Why had they decided to have me in their forties? So many things... I never asked, I never thought of.

His hand was threading fingers through mine suddenly as an answer, tightening the grip against it, our fingers entwined together. I turned to look at him and saw his own face twist with a kind of emotion, his throat tightening.

"What's wrong?"

"I was thinking. About how it'd be when Dad dies." Nick twisted onto his side, moving to kiss me gently, stroking my face. He looked sad suddenly, regretful, like he was upset with himself. "I haven't been very helpful with you, have I."

"You've been fantastic." I shook my head, gazing up at him, seeing a trace of something there. Was it fear? Maybe he'd realised it suddenly too, that his own Dad would die someday. "Really. I wouldn't have lasted here without you."

"I don't just mean here. Always. It was my fault that you got taken at all, No-" He cut me off, as my mouth opened, "-No, it was. They were there, in front of me, sitting in plain sight and I let anger think for me. Then you vanished, you didn't show up for the cruise, and I spent the whole cruise angry and trying to sleep with anything with two legs on the cruise thinking you'd just lied. If I had thought I would have realised that something else was wrong. All these months, angry with you, thinking you used me and played with me, when you were being..." He went quiet, eyes darting to my shoulder, where there was the thinnest silvery scar left behind from the whip, shaking his head. Rage and so much regret was there now. "This was all my fault."

"No, it wasn't."

"It was. I knew you were special, this sense I'd never felt for any woman in my entire fifty years, but I ignored that instinct because my pride was bruised. That was my fault."

"Pride's a big thing in this world." I reached up to stroke his face, it flinching as fingers stroked against it, but he tried to relax. "They toyed with us both."

"Too big. It's too important."

"Nick, if they had thought you were realising what was wrong, they would have just left faster. Maybe hurt you. Maybe even killed you. There was no stopping it." It was true, as much as I hated it, it was true. "It happened. I survived. I escaped. Here I am."

"I wouldn't have minded if they h-" His face darkened.

"I would have. I don't remember it all, back then, but I know that. I would have minded very much and I mind very much right now. So would the rest of your family. Then they'd never have known about the other girls or the problem was there until they'd gotten Elena and Kate."

It was strange, reassuring Nick that it was fine, that what'd happened to me was the best thing, when I had spent days fearing it. The funny thing was that I was almost believing it myself. Did I want it to happen if I had the choice? Hell no. I would have made myself rip his balls off there in the bar and then made him show me where the other girls were hidden. But if I hadn't been involved, if Nick hadn't known me, what would have happened? I doubted they'd have ignored a couple of injured werewolf females, even strange ones, but the trust they had in Nick meant that it had extended to me somewhat. Even though it was clear I didn't remember Nick. I may have even been tortured, just lightly, to ensure that I was telling the truth and that I wasn't apart of it. Either way it would have taken a lot longer to get them to believe my story.

I told him that, covering his mouth when he went to argue, but he sighed and his shoulders untensed after a minute.

"I suppose you're right. Clayton only seemed to want to accept your story when I told him who you were. I think he was concerned you'd been sent in to capture Elena or Kate."

"What did you tell me? Something about life ...we have to just figure out how to enjoy it when we can."

"Yeah." Nick flopped to the side, onto his back, hand finding mine again. "Fuck."

"Jeremy said they'd made good progress. We get back and we'll chase them all down."

"Dad will teach us how to fight when we get back. He offered and he's the best."

"Sounds good." I turned to look at him then, the words 'trying to sleep with anything with two legs on the cruise', wondering if that was what it sounded like. "You slept with people on the cruise?"

"I tried. FIrst time in my life that my body refused to ...get motivated." He shook his head. "So damn embarrassing."

"Old age?"

"They didn't turn me on any more. It'd been months by the time you showed up. I guess I hurried you a little..." He was relaxing at that memory, head twisting in my direction with a smile that was becoming easy and relaxed. "Sorry if it was too fast."

"It was a bit fast but I liked it."

"I noticed that." He leaned over to kiss me, warm mouth against mine, before his body shifted to half pin mine.

The cell phone rang. It was Melissa, downstairs, apparently wanting to come back up. She had a doctor for the medical exams, forms for us to fill out, and wanted to finish the fiance visa applications.

Nick sighed, standing up, pulling me up with him. "Back to work."

THat was how we spent our last afternoon and evening. The doctor turned out to be another half-demon, who was more than able to take care of any 'oddities' that being a werewolf would provide, doing exams for both the inheritance DNA tests and the visa medical checks. She brought my ID with me, a debit card from my old bank account, and dragged me off to get passport photos done once we'd managed to finish the medical checks.

The forms took a long time, a very long time, as Melissa made sure she went over every last inch after each page, having us change something we'd screwed up, and we'd have to go over it over and over. By the time it was all done, by the time everything was dotted, and crossed, and ticked, and photos done, it was already after eight at night and we were exhausted.

"I'll see you tomorrow in the car. It'll all be sorted by the time the funeral's over." She promised us, before leaving us, and we just made do with another room service dinner.

We were in bed by nine and asleep almost before we hit the pillow.

The next morning we got ready, both wearing the black clothing we'd packed, and the hotel was more than willing to send a car to pick us up with the luggage already packed. They had a storage room for this, they assured us, and the car service was second to none. Nick was keen to make me carry as little as possible so he paid them whatever absurd amount they wanted before we got into the cheaper taxi and headed east.

There were well over a hundred people there, crowding around, waiting. It turned out that they were waiting for me, apparently, as I was given special rights to see the bodies before ...before it all started. One of the employees for the funeral service led me through the crowd and into the large open hall of the church.

I froze at the sight of the seven coffins. Four large ones, adult sized, one child sized one, and two tiny ones, much too tiny. Nick's hand tightened as he pulled me sideways, out of the way, and shut the door so we'd have privacy. They were side by side at the front of the church, all seven of them, and only three were open for viewing. I moved closer, inhaling the smell of death, feeling it rush into my head in a dizzy spiral that made a low sob come from deep in my chest.

They had placed my sister's twins her her arms for the viewing. She was beautiful, all strawberry red hair, a shade three times lighter than my own, with just a few traces of grey starting to come through. She'd had green eyes as well, beautiful pale things, which had always given her the nickname strawberry. The babies, so tiny, lay there beside her head, their little heads touching hers, hands curled up against their chest and mouth and sides, both identical with long delicate dark lashes on their cheeks, like the three of them had just fallen asleep there together.

No pulse. Death. Chemicals. I smelt it, knew that it wasn't sleep, but I wanted to shake them awake anyway. I didn't. I stood there.

"The others were too... we couldn't let them be seen." A voice came from nearby, from where she'd been sitting all along, a person I'd half known was there but hadn't wanted to see.

It was her, the best friend, a box of tissues beside her. She was pale and so exhausted looking.

"She looks..." I couldn't say it. Not burnt?

"She went back inside for them and got them out but ... they found her outside. They think the dog panicked... think she must have been the one to break his neck... she saved Matt's life, they told me, saved him before the dog attacked him too. I...I'm so sorry, Liz." Sara spoke like someone who had cried so long and hard that she couldn't do it any more, her voice hoarse, broken, cracking slightly. "I wanted you to see them before we let everyone else in. I didn't want the shock to come with everyone around."

"The forces of hell couldn't stop her from protecting her babies." I said, tears running down my face, knowing it to be true. She had always been so over protective of my nephews. I couldn't imagine how far she'd go to protect any of them.

There was a long sharp scratch down her face, hidden by make-up, teeth on one arm. I glanced at Nick, and he followed my gaze, his breath hitching. His gaze moved to one of the little girls, mine following it, seeing the same marks around the necks of her. Around both of their necks. Make up hid it beautifully.

We understood what it was. We understood exactly what it was. Matt's dog was large but never, never in a million years, would my sister have let her youngest boy have a dog able to behave like that with a baby.

Nick moved to help me to a seat then, because my legs were shaking too much to sit, his arm under my arms. We sat down beside her, as she cried, and I found my own tears finally come.

This was it. This was all there was.

Others started to come in then, murmuring greetings to us, and we sat down. I barely heard a word that was spoken, barely able to think beyond the rage and grief, it clouding around my head. I felt Nick shake his head, wondering if they'd asked if I could speak, and I was glad he did. I couldn't breathe, how could I speak?

He shook me gently after some time and I found that we were alone again, bodies moving for the door, except for Sara who had put her arm around my arm at some point.

"There is going to be a book put together for you about them. We know that the fire took most things but I've spoken to people and... we'll all see what we can find for you."

I nodded and she stood up, moving past us, heading for outside. Men were gathering at the front, and the priest paused to look at me. Now I heard him and saw him, now that I seemed to focus, he asked very gently,

"Did you want to put the babies in their coffins?"

I nodded, standing up, wanting to. It would be the first and last time I would hold them. I had to do it, I'd never forgive myself if I turned this down.

Nick stayed close as I lifted each up, Rose and then Elizabeth, gently placing them in their little coffins with one of their toys already waiting. They were so tiny, so light, but so stiff. No warmth, no limbs that flopped around like Matt's had when he was tiny, they had left these bodies a long time ago. I was holding their corpses, that was all, a shadow of what they might have been.

Then we moved outside.

Nick stiffened and moved closer to me, suddenly, his mood shifting to something that was almost aggressive. I followed his gaze and saw what it was that had got him so angry.

Andrew stood there, dressed all in black, his face pale, with two werewolves on either side of him.

"What the fuck does he want? Now? Today?" Nick growled, moving forward, ready to do battle of some kind.

"I'll ask." I touched Nick's arm, moving past him, making him back down slightly A fight wasn't going to help.

"I'm right behind you."

The second we were within hearing distance, he spoke, his voice soft and hesitant. "I came to apologise to you. Both of you. I had intended on coming to inform you, with your alpha's permission, that the pack is still going to keep the agreement you made with my father but that there were werewolves, mostly older ones, who were loyal to him and furious with you."

"I don't think he agreed to the threats." Nick muttered, eyes fixed on Andrew.

"Yeah, I..." He scratched his forehead, looking a bit sheepish, an expression that made him look like his age. He wasn't that old. Maybe only a year or two older than Reece. "I found some things my father had written in our Legacy book. Some things that got me very angry. That's why I'm sorry. I got a bit too angry."

"I ... that's all right" I was too upset to care about fighting with him or getting angry or any other bullshit. I wasn't sure what a legacy book was. Was that an alpha's diary? I glanced towards Nick, who seemed to understand that part.

"I've already spoken with Jeremy, your alpha, and he also gave me permission to come here and see this." His eyes went back to the church, where the seven coffins were, his face filling with all those emotions all over again. Grief, mostly. Genuine grief. "I ...my father wouldn't allow anyone but him to sire children. It turned out that applied to me too. I found out a few hours before I came to see you that he'd found my ex-girlfriend with a baby and..." He cut off then, swallowing, the same grieved look. "I loved my father but I didn't know what kind of man he was. Till I found his entries in the Legacy, blaming women for the fact that he had trouble having children and describing each rape in vivid detail in the book. Myself and my sister were the only children that survived the attacks and he took us as soon as our mothers gave birth and after killing them. Then he recorded what he'd done with my ex-girlfriend and our son. He knew I would find this out, knew that I'd read it in the Legacy, and then suddenly I was standing in front of you and I was angry. I am sorry for how I treated you."

"What's the Legacy book?"

"In our pack, it's the written history of our pack." Nick murmured in my ear, softly. "I wasn't really aware other packs used it."

"It's the same for us. I can't alter it or change it now, by tradition it remains, but it wasn't all I found. There is one more thing. My sister was punished a few years ago when it was discovered she held feelings for one of your pack mates. Reece."

"Reece?"

"Reece's father, one of our werewolves, hid him away. My sister and him met by chance, while at Tafe together, but when my father found out he..."

Nick cut him off then, sudden, angry. "She, you mean, tricked Reece and he nearly got killed running. He told me all about that."

"She was trying to save his life. My father had promised to allow her to marry him, so long as he agreed to not father any children, but that if she didn't bring him, he'd be killed. Turns out my father wanted him dead either way. A year ago my sister went to America, with my father's permission, which was strange but I was away at University at the time. Then she vanished and he claimed he had no daughter."

His eyes went to me, suddenly, from where they'd been on the church behind me. There was nothing of an 'alpha' expression, if there was such a thing, just the look of a brother who'd lost his sister. "My father documented another thing in the Legacy before he died. She was given as a gift to a new American pack for her punishment and gave her in exchange for a treaty. He informed them of what time her flight was, in America, and had them pick her up. Then he documented the date and time she died to him."

"A new..." I understood, very suddenly, what he meant. "Is she..."

"The other woman who escaped, Pav-something, believes she saw her alive on the way out. I've sent a few photos ahead to America for you to look over. I mean what I said, that you're not welcome back in Australia for the time being, but this is not because I don't welcome you here. There is the growing belief that whichever werewolf that claims you, or kills you, or both, as revenge will be accepted as the new Alpha."

Nick edged closer, eyes on him. "That why you're here?"

"I'm here to make sure you get to the airport. If my sister is alive still, I'm trusting you to bring her home, or at least get her out of there. I'm not my father. Jeremy has offered to act as mentor during this change in leadership and if I am successful I'll be changing this pack to be like his."

"Why trust me?"

Andrew's eyes moved past me to the church then. I understood suddenly. They'd taken his sister and they'd killed my family. "They've taken from both of us. "

I turned to see the coffins being carried out by the faces of people I'd seen all my life. The three large, the three tiny ones, and the faces of the friends who loved my family as much as I had. They loved me too, they hadn't blamed me at all, not knowing that it was because I ran that they'd died.

I held no allegiance to Andrew, he wasn't my alpha, he wasn't over me, but we were bonded somehow. Both grieving, both with someone we loved taken from us, and both finding the world collapsing around us. "I'll do my best."

"We'll do our best." Nick murmured beside me, agreeing with me, his arm around my shoulders now as we watched.

Andrew and his friends remained, watching, as the six coffins were lowered into the ground one by one. My sister and her children were buried together, in one long wide grave, the sides of the coffins touching each other at the request of her best friend. People talked, people gave speeches, and I managed to give a few words, but no one seemed to mind when I just couldn't get past 'I'm sorry' before tears and crying made it impossible to talk. I got hugged and kissed and held by more people than I ever had in my life. Here, I was loved, here I was a victim, and here, it was okay to be.

People offered help, offered a place to stay, and Nick spoke for me while I couldn't speak. I was so grateful for him to be there right now, speaking, holding my hand throughout every last second of it, the scent of him not leaving my side for a second.

Some media stood beside the sidelines, including the same Women's day camera crew, but I ignored them all.

We all went back inside where food was waiting. I was not hungry but with Nick gently pushing it at me, reminding me that the plane wouldn't give as much as we might need, I had to accept it and try to eat as much as I could.

People came up, telling me how sorry they were, people who loved each of my family as much as I had, and I almost wanted to tell them how sorry I was instead. They told me stories I'd never known, things I hadn't heard, things I should have asked about instead of taking for granted.

When the car we'd hired, with the stuff from the hotel's storage room, came, I was glad to escape it. I gave my address to my sister's best friend, the new address at the new house, and we slipped out of there. Andrew was going to come with us in the car on his own, his friends would drive behind, to make sure we both felt like we weren't being captured or something. Melissa was already waiting in the car.

It was a much longer drive to the airport from here, over three hours, and I spent it sleeping, against Nick, face pressed into his shirt so I didn't have to look at Melissa or Andrew. I was glad though when Melissa offered me something to wipe my face with, clean up, telling me that there was the same camera crew waiting.

Somehow the wait in customs wasn't as long, or maybe that was because I was so dazed, and before I knew it we were sitting on the soft wide seats in first class, hand in hand, staring out at Melbourne Airport while others boarded.

"Andrew will let you come back sometime, I think." Nick said softly, his thumb stroking my hand. "If you want to."

"If he survives."

"That too. Here..." Nick moved to pull me into his lap, ignoring the stares we got, and I relaxed against him. "You feeling okay?"

"We're going home." I shivered, muscles relaxing at those simple words, feeling already the calmness that Stonehaven had put in me the first time I'd been there. I was leaving one home, one that I'd miss till the day I died, but I was going to another home. One I was starting to love equally as much as I did Australia.

He nodded, lips grazing against my shoulder, brushing hair away. The words, as they came from him, made every tense muscle in his body relax, soothing him as much as it did me. "We're going home."


	8. Grief

The flight was long and surprisingly quiet in first class. Only a few others were sitting around. We landed in Dubai, which interested Nick more than it did me, spent four hours waiting around, before we were put onto another plane and heading for New York. I ate, I slept, and I stared at clouds or ocean. Some part of me had just shut down again, that part that didn't want to move, it just wanted to sit and stare and not feel a thing. Nick tried to speak a few times but I couldn't really answer him, couldn't form words in my head or speak them aloud.

We still didn't speak on the drive back from the airport. Antonio picked us up, I just waved, and pretended to sleep to prevent any more attempts at conversation. If there was a problem, or a car following us, or something else, I was too out of it to notice or care. I couldn't speak, I couldn't even bring myself to try, I just gestured a greeting at Jeremy when we got back and let Nick led me up to the bedroom. No words, I didn't touch him, I didn't go near him, I just curled up on my side and refused to eat.

And so it went on like that for days. I lost track of time. There someone would come into the room and try and get me to talk, or eat, and I'd just shrug and curl up tighter. I wasn't hungry. I was tired, just tired, that was it. I couldn't even talk. It was like somewhere on that plane I'd dropped it out the window into the ocean below. Besides the trip to the bathroom, which was infrequent, and accepting water, I just lay or sat on the bed.

A dream chased me around during that time. I was in the church hall, standing in front of the coffins. There wasn't any flaming skulls in the dream, no grim reaper, no bloody red lights, no Halloween tricks, just the shiny wooden boxes and the urge to see the bodies, see my family, but unable to move. I just stood there in the dream, staring, until I woke up again. This happened every time I closed my eyes, sometimes I didn't even need to fall asleep to go back to that dream, over and over and over.

At first people sat with me, trying to talk with me, Nick the most stubborn in his attempts, and the one who got most angry and upset when I refused to talk to him, or look at him, or accept the food he brought me, or let him touch me. He vanished for days only to return and try again. Pav took a different approach. She just stayed there, not talking, and did that every day I was there. I let them talk, I even tried to listen at first, but they sounded distant. There may as well have been a full piece orchestra in the room as well- not a single word they said went in. And the truth was, I didn't care what they had to say, I didn't care if that made me bitchy or mean, I didn't care how worried they were or how long I'd been there. I didn't even care about the kidnappings, I wanted to ignore it, I wanted to ignore Nick, Jeremy, Pav, the entire damn pack. I wanted them to hate me. Kick me out. I wanted them to want to hate me as much as I wanted to hate them. Sometimes I would take the food they'd left behind, if they were well out of sight, and I would nibble at it but ... there just was no hunger. Nothing.

I didn't care about what Jeremy was doing, about the mutts that'd taken me, about what color to paint the walls for Matt. I did shower because showers were hot and the bedroom was always too cold compared to the summer we'd left behind. Showers took a very long time. I knew it was tormenting Nick and worrying everyone else, that I couldn't speak, but the usual guilt and concern for them was absent and replaced by emptiness. When he'd finally tried too long, I pushed him out of the room myself, and made him stay away. I refused to let him back near me.

I wanted to hate Nick. I wanted to hate him so much, so damn much, for being so loving and caring, I wanted them all to reject me and leave me alone. But I also wanted them to stay, I wanted them to care, I wanted them to watch over me. That need, the need for love, was much quieter. Softer. Like a little kid hiding in the back while the loud angry adult stomped around in my head screaming 'Screw them all!' The only face I wanted to see was my sister's face.

Some time after we'd come home I heard arguing. Surprisingly it was Clayton, Reece and Pav who was the one sticking up for me, telling them to back off and let me do what I had to, where as Nick was determined that something was seriously wrong and I was going to get really sick if I didn't eat or change. Jeremy agreed with Nick. I lay there, listening to them, not a single emotion or feeling there to react to what it was. They may as well have been talking about a stranger I didn't know. But they were discussing how to restrain me and feed me or put me in the cage, even after how bad that had gone the last time, and how big a tube they'd need to shove into the stomach. I decided it was time to leave now.

I stood up then, stuffing a few things in a bag, and I climbed out the window. Jumped into the snow, easily, somehow finding that as a werewolf such things were not only possible they were easy. Sort of. The snow did make it softer. I fully intending on leaving this place for good by making my way into the forest. I didn't really know why. Maybe it was time? I had disconnected so much from my body that I wasn't sure if it was time or not. I wandered down the side of the driveway, bare feet soft in the snow, ignoring the pain of freezing snow on bare skin, deciding to change midway down the driveway. I veered into the forest and found a nice little sheltered spot hidden from everything. The change was so sudden, so instant, that the pain was fleeting and it broke whatever spell I'd been under.

I'd wanted to believe that I could run away now, that they were angry with me enough, that Nick had gotten over his delusion of love. But the problem was that as a wolf, I couldn't play that human game, and I couldn't run away. As a wolf, I was closer to my heart and instincts than I had been for the past two weeks, the grief of a wolf experienced differently to that of a human woman. Instead of going further away from the house I felt like I had to be near them. I circled the house, just out of their sight, watching the house, inhaling their smells, listening to their voices. I was aware and concious, not like other times, but at the same time I struggled to think as a human. Their words meant nothing to me- it was just noises like the way birds sang. As a wolf I felt wounded, so wounded, so I wanted to hide but I wanted to stay close.

There was the sudden face at the open window I'd left behind, Nick's face, as if he'd found the empty room and the open window. I didn't really understand his facial expression but I knew the sound of his voice and the movement of the body while it sprang out of the window, and the meaning of the human as it traced scents down the driveway while it called to something. Another body was following behind him.

I didn't watch him change, I backed off, sliding back in the snow on my belly, head down and watching. I waited. I listened. I tried to understand the human mind in me, trembled at some more yells, trembled at the sound of running feet.

I waited.

I think I knew what Nick would do because there was no surprise to see him striding through the soft wet snow towards me, dark brown fur against the white snow, his ears and tail down to match mine. I only trembled and waited for him to join me and we moved to brush against each other, rubbing, heads pressed against each other. I trembled with relief. It was all right now. The shadows changed a little bit more, as we stood there, waiting, and then another wolf was there. And another. And another. They came while the sun tracked slowly across the sky above us.

This, I understood, this, I could handle. This was my pack and without the silly human game of 'I'm not sad, just tired' I could grieve properly. My pack grieved with me, they shared it, they copied my body language and I could grieve with not like what humans might expect but soft whimpers and trembles. They copied me, sharing it with me, like whatever I felt, whatever I'd lost, they felt the loss of it as well. This was what it meant to be pack. We shared each other's pain and we protected each other when it meant we had to. I could identity them, briefly, names for each scent, even feeling a brief surprise at the smell of a third female amongst the warm bodies.

So finally, after weeks, I could grieve the loss of my parents. My sister. My nephews and nieces. I grieved and cried and lay there, with nuzzles pressed against me, the warmth of other bodies pressed against me in the snow, tongues cleaning my fur, and my mate, so close, always so close, his nose against mine so that every time he exhaled, I inhaled the smell of him.

When I woke, they were still with me, human bodies entwined in a close intimacy that the human world wouldn't understand, hands and legs and arms tangled, all of us so comfortable with each other now that it didn't matter that we were all naked. There was a blanket across us, keeping us fairly warm in the huddle, the darkness still pressing in across us. Nick woke as I did, lifting his head from Elena's thigh, blinking sleepily at me with that face that I knew I loved so much it hurt to breathe.

"I love you." It was the first words I'd said in weeks, hard to speak, voice struggling to remember how to create the words. It was also the first time I'd spoken those words to him.

He smiled, reaching out, yanking me against Elena's legs and wrapped both his arms around me. "Welcome back." We shut our eyes and went back to sleep.


	9. Chaos

That morning I ate, much to Nick's relief, and finally took in what Jeremy was saying.

"We'll have to get your wedding done soon. We're nearly out of time."

"How long has it been?"

"Four weeks."

I hadn't realised it'd been that long, blinking, putting the cup down. Shit. No wonder why I felt so bony.

"Pav and Paige have been working on it. It's more or less ready to go. We'll just get someone to cater and get the cake done and ... well, anyway, they're not letting to do a thing. You need to recover your strength." Jeremy's eyes fell onto my arms, thinner than I'd ever had them before, his eyes creasing in a frown. "And your weight. Drink this with these pills."

I drank it and made a face at the horrible over sweet taste. The pills were huge as well. I made myself do it, his eyes making it clear I Had no choice, until the cup was more or less empty of it. "What was it?"

"Muscle building milkshake and multivitamins. You're underweight."

"That'd be a first." I muttered. I lifted an arm to stare at the puny muscle and bones. I'd grown up, always being softer, a little heavier, always wanting to loose weight and be thin like others. Now that I was 'thin' I had to admit I kind of hated it. And my breasts had shrunk too. That was something people hadn't ever told me, that weight loss equaled breast loss, and while I hadn't been overly proud of them... it would be nice to have a bra I could fit again. "Is that why I'm so cold all the time?" And why I'd missed my period? Probably. I vaguely remembered that extreme weight loss could do that.

"Yes. So rug up."

I nodded. When he pushed another plate of bacon and eggs at me, I ate it, ignoring my stomach when it complained that it was getting too full. We could handle 'too full' for a while. Whatever I'd been doing with the grief before was over. I still felt sad, empty, the whole world still shattered in pieces, but somehow I could breathe again. Whatever else I had to think about, however much I had to get used to not having my Mum or Dad around, or my sister, it would have to wait. Matt was the most important thing. "What about..."

"I'm sorry, Anne..."

My heart went crashing down. Lungs emptied of air. Fear crashed over my head. Fear that he was about to say 'Matt's dead'...

"...we haven't located him yet. But they've been sending you emails every week with a new photo. And before you ask, no, I'm not allowing you to see them or answer them. We've got some assistance with the computer to monitor this."

"He's alive?"

Jeremy hesitated. He glanced up at the doorway, where Clayton had appeared, and then nodded. "He's alive. Not the best shape but he's alive. What is it, Clay?"

"Nick's passed out in the living room. Want me to carry him into his bedroom so the twins don't wake him?"

"Good idea." Jeremy nodded.

"I'm sorr-"

"You're grieving." That was Clayton, who'd frozen mid turn, cutting me off and Jeremy at the same time. "If I hear you apologise for that I'll throw you in the cage myself."

Jeremy gave Clayton a sharp look, who'd missed it by turning at the right second, but he nodded. Sighed.

"I guess now that I'm awake-" I tried to rephrase what I was going to say. "-I'd like to be more helpful now. Do things. Be involved in it again."

"Clayton's going to train you to fight. He's already been working with Nick. I'm not going to let you do much more till you've put on weight but I do intend on allowing you to assist us with the tracking of scents." Jeremy slid down to sit beside me, arm wrapping around my shoulder, as he gave me a magazine. "We received this last week."

I opened it up. It was the article about myself and Nick. It was, as I'd expected, all love and romance and hope in times of terrible trial. IN other words, it was a tabloid, giving our story the fairy tail glitter and photo shopping the photos to make us shine. There were photos of us wrestling on the floor of the other house, covered in dust, that from weeks ago, one of us gazing out the window together, a close-up of the ring. I wasn't sure when they'd done that. I couldn't really read it, it was bizarre enough to see us in a glossy magazine like that, so I pushed it away. "Guess they liked us."

"They're offering to pay for the wedding, according to Melissa, apparently there's been a lot of support and donations towards the charities you named after readers read the story."

"I guess we're more interesting than what a celebrity eats for breakfast, which is the usual news." I muttered. To be honest the idea of being 'famous' really bothered me. I flipped the page, finding the next article was '10 miracle diet secrets! and 'How to dress when you're a plus size'. Ow. I had looked a bit soft in those photos, a bit thicker, sure, but that was a bit much. "I bet they'll love my miracle weight loss secrets. Is Nick okay?"

"He'll be fine after a sleep. Clayton and Elena were good with him."

"Has it really been that long?" I knew it'd been a while, sort of, but I had lost track of time.

Jeremy nodded. He was tempted to feed me again, I could see it in his eyes, staring at my empty plate and holding a pan of sausages. "Are you able to fit something else in?"

"No." I laughed, a wry laugh, shaking my head. I already wanted to vomit up what I had eaten, my stomach was all bloated and over-stuffed.

He looked disappointed but went to put the pan back down. "I'll put it in the fridge. Snack any time."

I nodded and closed the glossy magazine, pushing it away, leaving it for the middle of the table.

"What about ...well, everything? The Russian pack? The humans you found? Pav?"

"Pav is staying in the other house with Reece and Noah and is almost back to full health." I sighed, relieved. She had come in as much as Nick had, and I hadn't been able to think about her. "She was with us last night, during the run, and went home to have a rest. Didn't you notice her?"

Come to think of it, I had noticed on some level, the nearly black wolf with those beautiful blue-green eyes, the other female. Three females in the group. "I wasn't really thinking about who was there at the time. I think I just was glad you were all there."

"It was her second run with us."

"And the other things?"

"There's some problems in Russia and they had to return. There were some of the human servants found over there, they killed one of the werewolves, but they've decided to send one back any day now. We haven't found many here recently. Either they've found a way to hide their badges from our noses or our activity scared them off a little. We found the original warehouse you were all kept."

That got my attention. I stiffened, staring at him, not sure if I'd heard him right.

"Is..."

"It was cleared out. They didn't bother cleaning it much but they've clearly moved on and we're trying to identify the new location." Jeremy was fishing in a drawer in the study as he spoke, taking a few steps to the other side of the door, before returning to throw down some photos. It was exactly as I remembered except that it was completely empty. It made me shiver, my lip trembling, though the photos were less effective on me than the smell would be.

"How did you get the address?"

"Andrew, the Australian alpha, found the address in his father's belongings and was quick to give it to us." Jeremy replied. "Australia's pack are, more or less, willing to work with us now but there are still problems there. Andrew will take some time to establish himself as alpha and there's already been a lot of fighting going on. Some of the Australians have decided to follow you here and we've been keeping an eye open. Andrew thinks they may have joined this rouge group of mutts."

I nodded, trying to hide my yawn with a cough, answering, "I guess that's another reason I can't leave."

Jeremy wasn't fooled for a second by my cough. "Go have a nap with Nick." He said, softly, gathering up the photos of the empty warehouse. "We've made progress and are closing in on them. You'll need all the strength you can get if you want to help."

I headed upstairs and moved to climb into the bed beside Nick, the sheets fresh since the day before, his face pale and exhausted where he'd been dropped by Clayton. I slid up to him, touching his face, inhaling his smell, fingers brushing across the growth of hair on his face where he hadn't been shaving. Hadn't been shaving? Hadn't been grooming himself? _That_ was not like Nick at all. I yanked the sheets over him, slid into the bed beside him, and shut my eyes.

Some time later I woke to find that there was a third person in the bed. I was sandwiched between them. Nick, I knew him, but it took me a while to know that the third body was Reece, taking a few minutes to breathe in and out that scent that drifted over.

I poked at the arm and something moved to poke me back, a finger, the finger changing tactic to try a tickle which was too effective and made me almost knock Reece out of the bed completely.

I opened my eyes ,expecting to see him as I'd left him weeks ago, all grins and easy confidence. That was there but he looked stressed out now. Anxious. Tense.

"Hi."

"Welcome back. Did you try a kangaroo? Good hunting."

"She had a baby. I didn't want to kill her. We went for the rabbits."

"You never know what those girls keep in their pouches, no. It was always the reason I went for the males." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, sliding down, so that our heads were touching. "Very environmentally friendly choice, hunting the pests, though not good eating."

"How are you doing?" I asked, relaxing, reaching back to find Nick's hand as well.

"I'm fine. I just wanted to thank you." Reece's voice softened too as he glanced over at me at where Nick was passed out.

"For what?"

"Killing that bastard." Reece's voice was so easy and relaxed but that didn't fool me, every muscle pressed into my side tensed at the words. "I suppose Nick hasn't told you why I came to America."

"Not really. I heard a tiny bit from Andrew, about his sister, and I promised to find her for him. I don't know what her name was."

"Daniella." Reece shut his eyes while we lay there. "Her name was Daniella. _Is_ Daniella, I should say, because I don't believe she's dead."

"What happened?"

"My mother was attacked by a bunch of them years ago. Dad was supposed to track her down and kill her. Instead, he fell in love with her, and raised me as his son and I don't count anyone my father besides him." Reece's voice was less soft now, more tense, moving closer to me. "Years later, I meet Dani by chance while she's in a bit of strife, I fall in love with her the second I see her, and we moved in together while we went to Uni. I figured that was that. Love at first sight kind of stuff. She finally told me her father was the alpha and that she was afraid of him. They started to show up, these werewolves from her father's pack, and I figured that we were safer hiding with my parents. They wanted to meet her anyway."

I nodded, staying quiet, as he paused. He seemed to struggle with the next bit and it was over a minute before he could continue.

"I told her to pack because we'd go home for a while. Let them cool off. I went to my last day of Uni, came home, found the house in pieces, and I thought she might have gone ahead to escape them. When I got home I found..."

Another very long pause. Another very long silence, only broken by our breathing and Nick's soft snore.

"I found them dead. Both of my parents dead outside. House burnt to the ground. I thought Dani had betrayed me. They did their best to do the same to me but I refused to die before I made sure the bastards felt everything coming to them so I killed one and ran from the rest. That's why I came here to America. I'll go back one day and kill the rest of the bastards that did it."

"We're both orphans." I didn't mean to say it so bluntly, like that, but the shock made the words come out before I could think. He had lost his parents too, his home, everything, and here he was perfectly fine.

That made Reece tremble. He nodded, swallowing, but he didn't say anything. We lay there staring at the wall.

"We're both surviving orphans." He said, after a while. Squeezed my shoulder. "Big difference. The idiots left us alive to hunt them down. _One by one_." Reece went quiet again, another long pause, before he asked something else. His voice was suddenly uncertain, almost like a teenager, like he was almost afraid to ask it. "Do you... I mean, do you think maybe he was telling the truth? About Dani? That she _didn't_ want to betray me?"

"I don't know. We'll find her and ask her."

"Yeah. Yeah, we'll find her and ask her." He nodded, relaxing, and slid down further. Reece clearly intended on staying here to nap and I had no objections.

I shut my eyes, wriggling around, feeling Reece slide into my back and cuddle up. Nick's arm was around my other side. It was a nice cosy sense, having two people I trusted so much, neither of them treating me with anything except warmth and affection.

Nick woke us both when he leaned over me under the covers, peeled off Reece's arm, and shoved him off the bed.

"What the-"

"Who gave you permission to sleep here?" He growled but it was more of a mock growl than anything, like Nick was seriously tempted to jump on Reece and do a mock fight.

"I don't need permission to sleep with my pack-sister." Reece grinned back, pretending to growl, the two of them in high spirits. Maybe it was all the pent up energy but when Nick growled again, Reece tackled Nick, right over the top of me, knocking him onto the floor. Something shattered, a lamp probably, as they landed on the ground.

The two of them mucked around, growling, pushing at each other, knocking over a chair. There was a "You smell. Go have a shower." from Nick and a retort from Reece. I didn't need to be here for this. They were doing great on their own.

"_I'm_ going to shower. Have fun." I rolled my eyes and slid up so I could move past Reece for the bathroom, ignoring Nick's attempts to call me back, shutting the door on the both of them. The fact that they were able to play around was a good sign, probably, that they thought everything was okay again.

Nick joined me in the shower once he'd shoved Reece out and locked the door, eagerly undressing, though he hesitated when he reached the shower stall. I had rejected him for weeks, refused to touch him, refused everything.

"Room for me?"

I tugged him in and shut the door behind us. When he went to kiss me, press me up against the glass, I frowned and shook my head.

"Too soon?"

"Sorry." I almost wanted to cover my body, suddenly, not let him see it. What a strange feeling.

Nick kissed me more gently, his body inching back a tiny bit, shaking his head. Whiskers, I noticed them earlier, they tickled my face and made me squirm. "I don't care how long you need."

I knew that wasn't entirely true. Of course he'd care. In fact, after weeks without sex, I was surprised he was even trying to hide it. I figured he deserved to understand.

"It's just... I feel odd. Different." I didn't just mean the grief. I meant my body too. It looked so strange now, naked, I could see ribs, my hipbones, my breasts were tiny, belly all ready to reject all food. "Like I'm in someone else's body now."

Nick ran his hands over me, inspecting, pinching against bone. "These are smaller." He agreed, hand brushing across my breasts, stroking the nipple. The nipple was still the same size. "Yes. Too much bone everywhere."

"See? I can't be sexy." That was it. That was the problem for me, right there, the fact that I didn't feel like he could be attracted to it any more. He'd always said he liked the hourglass figure, those curves, and where were they now?

Nick laughed as he suddenly understood, ignoring my frown, kissing me, yanking my leg up around his waist. Something pressed against my thigh, his other hand yanking my other leg up, arms easily holding me there. He shuddered, breathing out slowly, as he inched himself inside of me, eyes shut. Those tickly whiskers brushed against the side of my face, against my neck, again sending shivers throughout me.

"Does it feel like you're not sexy?" He said, voice shaking against my ear, freezing now that he'd penetrated me. Nick swore softly, like he was afraid to move again, his entire body trembling. He was waiting for me, watching me, waiting for any sign that I wanted him to stop. "Like I don't want you?"

I was trembling too. How I'd missed it, missed him, and I hadn't noticed. My entire body welcomed him so easily, stretching so much, legs squeezing his waist as he stood there. I wanted him to move, not stand still, why wasn't he moving? It was the sign he'd hoped for.

"I...feel..." I gasped as he thrust, so suddenly, the sensation so incredible, that I couldn't speak, a low moan of relief at the fact that he was just moving. "I... feel..."

"What?" Another thrust, then he was frozen again, grinding up against me as lips teased my throat.

"You."

The word made him grin, moving his hips then, so slowly that it tormented me, and I tried to hurry him by squeezing my legs. He refused to let me change it, refused to move any faster than he wanted, mouth separating from my skin as his upper body moved back. Nick's eyes traced down my body, as the shower ran across both of us, down between my legs, watching his own body claim me, not bothering to hide the fact that he was enjoying the sight. "What am I doing?"

"_Teasing me_." I growled, leaning forward to bite him, to get closer to him.

"Uh huh." He pushed me back, one hand on my shoulder, now that my legs were able to squeeze him. "What else am I doing?"

"That."

"What is it? Don't try and wriggle out of this, this is part of your education." He laughed, hands tickling along my legs, shaking his head as my legs tried to squeeze him closer.

I tried to yank him closer, which he resisted, tried to hold him in me when his hips came to mine, which he suddenly allowed. He pinned me there suddenly, body stretching me open with such a painful pleasure that I gasped. Nick's lips found my ears, whispering. "Say it. Say I'm making love to you."

So _cheesy_, so silly, it made me want to laugh until he'd moved his hips back and then into me again, his lips pressing against my neck, arms wrapped around me in an embrace. He was making love to me. He was loving me with every inch of his body. Every inch of his far too still body.

"You're making love to me." I tried to will him to move, but he stayed still, refused to move.

"Are you doing it to me too?"

I nodded, which didn't get him moving, and I said it, said what he wanted to hear. "I'm making love to you too."

Nick laughed, which made my face go bright red, but he pinned me and started to move with earnest now, the shower pouring over his back and shoulders, his soft groans against my mouth as he made sure I felt exactly what he thought of me, powerful leg muscles making his thrusts stronger, harder, pressing against my heat and driving me crazy.

We couldn't talk any more, or at least I couldn't, all I could do was moan and let him, his hips driving me towards that climax that only he had given me in my life, only disrupted when one of us accidentally turned the hot water off, leaving the shower freezing. He cursed, fumbling with the thing, and when he couldn't figure it out, he yanked me up and carried me into the bedroom, throwing me onto the bed and climbing back on top of me. I glanced to the door, relieved to see it shut and locked.

Nick suddenly was inside me again, yanking my legs up around his waist, taking away my attention again from the door. Lips crashed onto mine, urgent, needing me now, lips tracing down to tease my nipple while he resumed the hard and fast pace he'd had in the shower.

I came so suddenly that it even shocked him, making him grin a very wide grin, shifting back to slow his thrusts while my body climaxed. When I was done, I stared up at him, finding him still very hard and moving in and out of me, waiting patiently.

Only when I was looking did he start to move hard again, shifting our bodies so I could see it as well, his eyes fixed in mine as I saw what it looked like for the first time, my back pressed against the bed and my hips lifted up. I gazed up at him, face going red, staring at him with wide eyes, seeing just how wide my body stretched for him. How damp it was. How warm with blood under the skin.

"Very sexy. Always." He said, voice tight like it was hard for him to speak, before he shut his eyes and moved harder before he groaned, his own climax filling me with his warmth, keeping my hips up so I could watch now, see what his body did, what it looked like, smell it stronger than I had ever before.

He crawled down to lay beside me for a minute, shutting his eyes, a lazy grin on his face. I matched it, a small smile of my own, one of his thumbs brushing against my swollen mouth.

"Who's getting up to turn off the shower?" He asked, as I nipped his thumb, making his grin widen even more. That had probably given him another idea he wanted me to try, I suspected, which provoked an irresistible urge to do it again, nibble and licking it, watching his reaction. That made him squirm, the grin freezing, eyes widening. Oh, I knew exactly what he was picturing me doing it to now, I wasn't so innocent as to not know what men thought about when something was licked or sucked on, and the thrill of power rushed through me again. Nick's shoulders were tense suddenly and he looked just about ready to pounce back on me.

I slid out of his grasp and crawled off the bed. Nick lifted onto one elbow and made a lazy attempt to catch some part of me so he could pull me back down. "Hey, tease, come back here."

"I have to go finish my shower now."

"I'll come and watch. I mean, I'll come and shave." He slid up to his feet as well, close behind.

I showered, washing my hair, scrubbing, doing my best to be serious about cleaning. This was surprisingly hard with a face openly gawking at me from the mirror, while he shaved, his grin so wide that I was surprised he could shave at all.

"Isn't it hard to shave like that? With that cat that got the cream grin?"

"It's worth it." He suddenly swore, a fleck of blood in the foam, and dropped the razor.

"Focus on your face, not on my behind."

"It's not just your behind I'm admiring." He tried to focus, only to swear again a second later when his eyes went off his chin and onto the direction of the soap in my hand. Some more red appeared. "

"You'll have holes all over your face. Focus!" I was almost tempted to leave till he was done, almost, but I was more or less done myself. I just had to rinse conditioner out and that really could wait. Turning the shower off, I yanked a towel around myself, going to sit on the bench beside him, slapping away his hand when he tried to yank it open again. "Focus."

Nick shook his head, amusement on his face, before he returned his attention to his face. I watched him, fascinated, so tempted to reach out and touch him. His chest, his arms, his face, his hair, anything, I'd never watched a man shave before and somehow it made me want to kiss him all over. He wasn't a teenager, he wasn't even a youth, he was an adult and he'd clearly done this so many times that it was second nature. It was sexy. He was sexy.

"I can't focus with you eating me up with those eyes." He said, pausing, half the stuff shaven off as he leaned over to kiss me. I let him, the smell of the unscented foam and taste of it, before Nick went back to work. He tried to keep his face still, serious, so that the skin didn't crease too much.

"Sorry. You're beautiful."

"Most women would say handsome."

"Okay, you're sexy."

The word made him flinch as the razor again cut in, Nick unable to resist that wide grin coming back, a hand sneaking up my towel only to get pushed away again. He went to fix that cut as well.

He dropped the razor in the sink, still not done with shaving, reaching over to yank me closer to him, kissing me so hard that I had to gasp for air when he let me go. Shaving foam covered my face and he laughed, wiping it off with a towel and sticking more of the stuff back on his face.

"About time you noticed." Nick winked. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to finish.

He took a few more minutes, going over his face, allowing me to watch as he continued whatever he did to keep himself like that. He used more products than I knew existed, asking me to hand one over, and I watched him and tried to not laugh at how absurd some of them sounded.

After a while, he was done, and moved to stand between my legs, tugging the towel open.

"Is it safe for you if I shower now?"

"Mmhmm."

I hopped off, brushing past him, and rinsed out the last of the conditioner. Nick was waiting when I was done, yanking me back onto the bench, covering me in some kind of cream stuff he'd used on his body which apparently returned moisture and some vitamin to the skin. Whatever it did, it didn't bother me at all to have those long fingers stroke across my skin.

He seemed to be thinking though, as he worked, his fingers lingering across areas where there was a little too much weight gone. After a while Nick spoke up and his smile was gone now, this serious thoughtful expression replacing it.

"Truthfully, you want to know what I think about your body?"

I nodded.

He moved to stand between my legs, rubbing his hands up them. "Right now, you look like you're about to collapse onto the floor and turn to dust. In other words, the entire fashion industry would kill for your body. But I'd personally prefer it if you were a bit less..." He touched the hip, frowning. "Bony."

"What if I get _really_ fat?" I suspected that with this werewolf thing that would be a hell of a challenge but having grown up being 'the chubby one' the fear was still there. Always there. Some part of me almost wanted to stay like this, even if it was too much.

"Women! Always this obsession with getting too fat." He shook his head, as if he couldn't quite understand it, fingers tracing along my waist. "I want you healthy. Strong. I don't know why women never believe it but we're more interested in a woman who loves and knows her body than a woman who looks like a twig. I liked your body when I met you, you were healthy."

"Are you saying I'm not ..."

"Before you say that again," Nick cut me off, clearly remembering what I'd said in the shower, "You _always_ are to me. Doesn't mean I don't want you healthy again. I hope you're planning on eating everything I give you."

"I didn't stop eating to loose weight." I muttered. Some part of me wanted to be annoyed but he cared, I could see that, I'd worried him. "I want to get healthy. Kick some asses. Get some revenge."

"Yeah, I know." He lifted me off the bench, helping me down, tugging a towel over to rub against my damp skin. "I'm just glad you're back."

A knock from the door made us both twist to direct our attention there, hearing Jeremy call that it was lunch time, his voice very clear that it was an order and not a suggestion.

We both dressed in a hurry and went downstairs to find that the first wave of lunch had gone. Dishes piled up.

"I didn't want anyone tempted to steal any food you left behind." Jeremy said, as my eyes went to his, arms crossed. He gestured to where he'd set out my lunch. Nick's was a _snack_ compared to it. "Eat up."

"I might vomit that much up..." I already felt sick looking at it.

"Eat as much as you can then. Muscle builder first." He was in full on alpha mode now, sliding my chair out, pushing the right food, any sympathy gone under the more important task. "Have you thought about whether you'd like the magazine at the wedding? I don't want to push you but they need to know and they've been fairly insistent."

"I... I don't know. Do you think the publicity would keep us safe a bit longer?"

Jeremy hesitated and nodded. "Probably."

"I suppose it's okay then. As long as whatever they want to pay goes straight to those charities again."

"If they take one step out of line, I'll cancel it. Melissa's flying over to keep an eye on them again."

He relaxed, squeezing my shoulder, before vanishing into the study.

A hand snuck over my shoulder, yanking one of the sausages up, Reece yanking the chair beside me over.

"Reece..." A warning from the study.

"Come on, she can't eat all that." Reece was quick to swallow it. "I'm hungry still."

"Food in fridge." Jeremy stayed in the study, the sound of the computer clicking on. "Not on table."

Nick was eating slowly, watching the two of us, an unreadable look on his face all of a sudden. I glanced at him and caught something else. Not jealousy, exactly, but he was wary. I guessed Reece was getting a bit too cosy for him. When Reece went to steal another sausage, it was Nick who growled, yanking my plate out of Reece's grip.

"You heard Jeremy. Here." He pushed it back towards me, eyes on me, waiting.

Reece grinned at me and went to get his own out of the fridge. He was like a young wolf teasing an older wolf, nothing more than that, I understood exactly what it was about.

I drank the special formula, took the pills, and went on to making sure I got what I could into my stomach. The three of us ate quietly, too busy eating to talk.

A small hand snuck across my side, sneaking, and when it was close to stealing one of the boiled eggs, I grabbed it and tickled it. A squeal of laughter came from beside me, Kate wriggling as she backed off, only to find Nick waiting to tickle her from behind. It reminded me of what Matt used to do when he was little.

I managed to finish it, with the help of Reece and Nick, and found myself tugged by her into the living room after.

"Mommy wants to see you. Come on!"

I blinked to find myself yanked into the living room where Paige and Elena were sitting. Between them was a big white book.

"We've got a surprise for you." Elena's lip twitched.

"We're going shopping." Paige added. "Wedding dress hunting, I should say. Sit down."

Control seemed to be slipping, I could already feel it, and I was yanked into a seat by Kate. She climbed into her mum's lap and watched.

Paige opened the 'Wedding journal' and started to show me things. Where we'd have the wedding, some indoor place in town, the look of it, what the bridesmaids would wear, what Kate would wear, almost every detail already figured out.

All that was left was me.

She moved to an empty page with room for photos. "We're going to try a few shops, have lunch, then try another couple. We'll look it over after dinner, all the photos, and then we'll return the next morning to get the dress or to try a few on again, re-evaluate, that sort of thing." Paige was tugging a map out of the album, with clearly marked '1, 2, 3, 4, 5' on it, as well as a couple of circles in additional locations.

"An entire day to find a single dress?" I gawked at Paige. Surely she was kidding about that. "Come on, we don't need to spend that long."

"One and a half for the dress and it doesn't end there.." Elena's eyes met mine and her lips twitched in a slight grin, before she went to return her attention to the map. "Paige isn't done showing you her plans."

"Can't we just ...I don't know, pick a couple of dresses off the rack and I'll see which is nice?"

"Pick a couple of dresses off a rack for your wedding?" Paige looked flabbergasted, Elena looked amused, and she blinked as she looked from me to Elena. "You're as bad as each other about this."

"Two days away? Is that even safe?" That was Nick, who was hovering over us and staring at the map, making a snatch for it but Paige was faster, shoving it back in the album.

"No looking. We don't need you following us around."

"Jeremy?" Nick glanced up to where Jeremy and Jamie sat. He was looking for an ally in this only to find nothing of the sort. "Come on, two days, that's not safe."

"She's got Elena and Paige. Two werewolves and a witch are more than enough to handle problems for a few days."

Paige flipped the page. "Then, we'll go cake tasting. I know you said cheesecake but I'm not sure we can get one that looks right..."

"I don't care how it looks. We just need enough of it to go around."

She decided to ignore me. "Then we'll go to this florist, find out what flowers you like, and they can get some flowers for the wedding and for your bouquet. Then we'll go test some food for the catering. We'll come home on the fourth day."

"If I changed my mind and told Woman's Day to bugger off, would that cut down on all of this?" I was sort of regretting taking Jeremy's advice about that.

"Not in the slightest." Paige shook her head. She closed the book.

"Ah." Damn.

"Can I come along for the food tasting at least?" Nick was still hovering over my shoulder.

"If you stay away from the dress hunt we'll think about it."

"Come on, it's my wedding too."

"That-" Paige tugged out a pile of papers and a map, "-is why you're the one doing the seating arrangement. I've put some lists of who can't sit next to who and who has to sit next to who. You can cut out names and arrange them on the map." She dumped it in Nick's hands. "There's some people who'll have to be near the front. I already put them in seats for you."

He stared at his task with clear dismay. This was not what he had been thinking when he'd decided to marry me, I knew that, and I felt sorry for him.

"He could pick food and I could do that." I had no desire to do it any more than Nick did but I didn't want to bore him to death before it was over.

"No, let him do it." Elena surprised me, her voice surprisingly cheeful, eyes locked onto Nick with a look that showed she was starting to enjoy it. "As best man, Clayton's obligated to help him." A gleeful look in her face flashed there for a moment.

There was a curse from the kitchen, Clayton making himself known, and then a hurried correction in front of the kids.

"So pack up. Car's ready, we've got an appointment in the afternoon, and we'll be home and looking forward to seeing how the seating looks." Paige slapped my leg, a smile, "Twenty minutes."

"I ..."

"Hurry, or Elena will carry you to the car!" Paige glanced at Elena, who shrugged a non-committal shrug, and corrected herself. "Well, I'll find a way to get you there. Come on!"

I stood up and went upstairs. Nick followed behind, tossing the papers he'd been given onto the desk.

"I'll sneak behind if you want."

"You've got a job to do." I reached up to tug his head down for a long kiss, happy to waste time like this, aware that I wouldn't see him again for far too long. We pulled away, as we heard a call about 'Ten minutes!', and I said softly, "If you struggle, call me, I'll help the two of you out."

"If you get lost in lace, puffs and cake, call me and I'll come carry you home." He replied. "What do you need? I'll help."

We packed my bag together, him doing his neat folding thing, me sitting there and stuffing stuff in the other end. Truthfully, this was a bit much, the wedding blowing way out of what I was expecting. I had never really thought about it, not before now, but I hadn't really thought about this much to do. Dresses, flowers, food, cake, seating, god knows what else, it sounded like we were arranging a giant event.

When we heard Paige coming up the stairs I went to go outside, only to be pushed back down onto where I'd been sitting on the bed, Nick moving to lock the door when he heard feet coming up the stairs.

"Ten minutes! I'm naked." He called, as Paige went to knock, and we heard her back off and head back down stairs. Nick turned on me. "what's wrong?"

"NO-"

He cut me off with a look, not even opening his mouth, sliding the chair over and sitting in front of me. Nick waited.

"It's just a bit much, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is. Is that what's wrong?"

"I suppose the more they plan it, the more I realise how little I cared about this part." I smiled weakly, and he mirrored it, leaning forward to stroke my hand. "I meant it. I love you. I just... wow."

"We're throwing them a party. Think of it like that. The only part we're in it for is the vows." Nick kissed my cheek, my neck, brushing hair off my face.

"I don't mind that part."

"Dress will be easy. It might take a while, they do make a lot of wedding dresses, probably too many, but you'll find it. The food is no problem, we'll eat anything, I think it's just an excuse to eat cake and eat some free food before deciding. Everyone likes flowers. Pick what you like or go for roses. It's not too bad. Just let Paige do the hard work, put some clothing on when she tells you, eat some food when she offers it, and pick some flowers you like."

"What do you like?"

"Tiger Lillies. Just don't tell anyone." He grinned and tugged me up. "Come on. Elena's on her way."

Elena unlocked the door, coming in, and found us both fully dressed much to her relief. She shook her head and called as she turned, "Nick's getting dressed."

It gave us a moment to say goodbye, wrapping arms around each other, inhaling the smell of the other. Four days was going to be long without this.

We came out to find Elena and Clayton in a similiar position, semi-hidden in the hall from the stairs, and they parted at the sight of us slowly. Covered their mouths, as if to say 'one more minute', and we backed up into our room again.

"Jeremy'll have his hands full keeping you two here."

"He will." Nick agreed, not hesitating to wrap both arms around me again, nuzzling against my neck.

He stayed upstairs as we headed down for the car, watching from the window, waving.

We spent the night in a hotel, drinking, staring at photos of wedding cakes and flowers, until I had to pretend to be sleepy just to get away from it.

I was dragged out of bed the next morning and we went to the first shop. It was exclusive, only by appointment, the sales woman taking one look at my generic jeans and sweater and seeming tempted to turn us away after all. Or maybe that was just my imagination?

The building was beautiful though, even I had to gawk at it, admiring the incredible decor. The wedding dresses were in one room, arranged in a wall of white fabric, lace, silk, satin, and whatever else they were made of. Some glittered in the soft warm light. Some puffed out. Some were sleeveless, some had incredible trains, some modern and short. Near that room was what I could only describe as a room of mirrors. Mirrors circled around two soft plush cream couches and a coffee table, the smell of fresh flowers coming from a massive bunch on the table, the same soft warm lighting making it look like the kind of place one could spend hours in with a book and a drink. On one side of the room was a golden rack probably designed to hold five or six dresses at a time.

The sales woman served us champagne and finger food, taking my size from Paige who'd somehow got my measurements, still looking uncomfortable, and started to bring dresses in. "Did you have an idea what you were looking for?"

I shook my head and she sighed. Brought a mix of the gowns, carefully hanging them up, arranging the skirts and trains out for maximum display. I sighed, gritted my teeth and stood up.

It was time to work.

The first dress I picked up was plain looking from across the room, except for a texture across it. It wasn't quite as plain when I got up close but I didn't mind that. I went into the change room the woman indicated, right across from the storage room, and changed.

When it was on I laughed, staring at myself. Paige was not going to like this, it was going to ruin her plans completely. But the silly dress was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

It was, I had to admit, beautiful. Long, white, fitted to my torso to hug the curves there and flaring out just slightly from the mid-thighs down into a full skirt that skimmed against my legs in front and flared out more in the back. No puffy scratchy stuff underneath to make it wide- it had volume simply because of the weight of the skirt or the direction I moved. If I moved left, it twisted, delicate bead work along the train skimming the wooden floorboards lightly, and it took some manoeuvring to get the train to follow me.

There were sleeves, short ones that barely left my shoulders, and no missing that'd show scarring, the neckline a v shape that didn't plunge too much, just enough to give Nick something to admire.

From a distance it'd look like a white dress with a lot of skirt and the slightest texture. I liked that. It didn't look overly fancy.

Closer up, the detail came into view, incredible detail, intricate lace covering it, showing that the dress itself was actually a sleeveless dress with the lace extending up to form the cover for my shoulders and back. Tiny sparkles along the edge of the bust, where there was something like white lace flowers, sewn on over the other lace, hidden with little crystals in their centres. The lace lessened suddenly, where the dress flared out from my thighs, becoming just the occasional flowers and leaves against an extremely fine silky transparent fabric that skimmed across the heavier white fabric under it. And the train went out further than I expected, at least a foot.

"It's a bit heavy." I muttered. Maybe that was me giving into the pessimistic side again, as I bet down to lift the skirt, feeling all those metres of fabric weigh it down again. The weight actually was a good thing. It made it stay in that nice shape. My words seemed to break the spell the room had been in because there was movement suddenly, as they'd been too afraid to move before, and someone coming up behind to help button it.

"It's meant to be a bit heavy. You can handle that." Paige called. "How is it?"

"I found it. We don't have to look any more." I called as I yanked the curtain open and came out into the room full of mirrors where Elena and Paige were waiting.

"There's no way, you can't have just found it already, we've got more to try on." Paige's jaw dropped as she stared at me. "You've found it. Oh my god."

They all gawked at me, even the sales woman, as I stood there. She was quick to button it up my lower back.

"I think I want another wedding." Paige grinned. "You're gorgeous! The dress is perfect. I don't know how you managed to pick one like that."

"I just picked one up off the rack. Easy." I shrugged, reaching up to finger the little flowers under the bust, watching the crystals sparkle. It had. It had the right sleeves, it had a shape I didn't mind that didn't look too wide or fancy, and the dress didn't look fancy from the distance. It did now, close up, but the only ones coming close up would be family.

"From across the room?" Paige shook her head again. "First dress, hidden amongst six other white dresses? It's amazing. It took me over a day to find mine."

The sales woman was taking photos of it, which was a bit silly, and when she asked if we wanted to try anything else on, it was a resounding no from all three of us. Elena looked relieved as well. She shook her head when Paige asked her if she wanted to try one on too.

"Let's save that for another time. I don't mind cutting this part short."

"Okay. Great! I'll call up the other appointments and cancel them."

It was time to take it off again, fingers undoing the buttons, and I went back into the changing rooms to change. There was someone else in them as well, another lucky bride probably, the door to the storage room wide open as if the sales person had just given up coming in and out and had just decided to leave it open for easy access.

I was peeling it off my arms when someone grabbed me from behind, hand covering my mouth, a soft hiss in my ear.

"Shh, pet. If you say one word, nephew goes up in flames." I saw Matt, a hand shoving a phone in my face, so thin, so much worse than I was, his face hollow, eyes wide as he saw me in the other phone. There was someone standing there with a match and Matthew looked wet. Sodden with something. My heart froze. Was it fuel? Would they do that? "There you are, Matthew, suffering and scared, while your Auntie buys herself a pretty dress. Do you like her pretty dress?" He held the phone out so that it caught the reflection of the wedding dress.

"If you …" My ears were straining for Elena and Paige, wondering if they were hearing this, if they were there. But the building was suddenly so quiet out there.

"Whatever you're going to tell me not to do, I've probably already done it. Now. Come on. We've got someone waiting."

I was ushered out, the cold metal of the gun against my back, expecting to see Elena and Paige waiting. They weren't. Where had they gone? Then into the storage room, past bags and bags of white dresses, sewing machines, a small office, I rubbed my fingers together, slowly, letting the engagement ring slip off onto the ground, just before we came out into a loading dock.

A truck waited. I was shoved into the back of it,tripping over the skirt, the man slamming the door shut behind me and locking it.

I smelt him then. Smelt him as clearly as I might have smelt Nick. A body pressed down onto mine, the man who dared call himself owner yanking me onto my back, hands ripping at the wedding dress.

He was angry. So damn angry. He was swearing, ripping the wedding dress, slapping me hard, yanking and biting at the white fabric.

"You belong to me." A hard slap. "You dare wear this? This thing?" Another hard slap, his hands ripping the bodice open, shredding it until he could pull it away, piece by piece. "Tie her arms up"

Someone else moved behind us, a werewolf that I hadn't smelt, hands coming to yank my arms into restraints on the truck's roof with the assistance of the werewolf. He moved back and I swung there, toes brushing across the ground.

Something was snapped around my neck then. It was heavy, it was cold, and it was tight.

"Can I have her yet, Dad?"

Someone else was nearby, sitting, his breathing fast.

"When I say." A low growl. "She's mine. You only get to play when I'm ready to let you."

A shiver passed down my spine at those words. I shut my eyes, waiting, waiting to be touched, waiting for someone to invade, to rape, but nothing happened. The truck bumped along, traffic outside. I flinched when I felt hands grab my head, yanking tape around it, stuffing fabric into my mouth.

"You already picturing it, pet? Patience. I'll have you when I decide." He laughed, tweaking my nipple, and I heard him move to slide into a seat close to the cabin. "How long?"

"Bit of traffic. It might be some time."

"Where's the other truck?"

"Just leaving now. They were successful. Left the witch behind."

My heart froze. Successful? Left Paige behind? Where was Elena then?

"Radio them and make sure they know their orders. Restraints only. If I find a single bruise on that one, if I find a single scent under my property's clothing, I'll feed him to the wolves myself."

A sweaty hand trailed across my stomach, down, towards my thighs. A low shuddering breath in, the hand trembling. There was another body, suddenly, shoving that hand away. A dull thud, hand meeting face, a groan of pain.

"But dad..."

I heard chains, heard the teenager's hiss of surprise, the sound of something slapping around and locking. I didn't dare look but in the dark I could see it, see that the teenager had been locked up to another set of restraints, his eyes wide with shock.

"I said. If you touch my property without permission, I will treat you exactly as I treat everyone else."

"Master." A call from the front. "One way street. Empty. We'd have to go the wrong way but it might save us some time."

There was silence for a moment and then he agreed with a growl. "Go."

The truck suddenly swung, and I swung with it, the sound of horns and yelling from outside, and we were suddenly moving fast. 'Master' nearly fell, almost, but he sat on something and stopped sliding.

Another swing, another sudden change in direction, and we were really moving now. The truck was speeding.

Then it suddenly slowed and the alpha growled.

"Sorry, Master, but there's a problem with the other truck. She's got one hand loose. They can't ..." There was a pause, the screech of tyres nearby.

"I'll deal with her. If anyone touches this property, you know what waits." He strode towards the doors. The man at the passenger side was already hopping out, yanking the truck doors open, light blinding me as I saw some kind of car park briefly. Then it was slammed shut and the door relocked.

Another truck's doors opened, the sudden sound of screaming and yelling, Elena's shout, someone else's cursing, before it was cut off by the slam of the doors.

That truck had to be soundproofed then, at least partly, because I couldn't hear it any more. I did hear other things, drifting from the front of our cabin, shouts, squealing of tires, the sound of two metal objects striking each other lightly. The other truck must have almost caused a crash but I couldn't see, just guess from what I'd heard.

It meant that whichever truck had 'Master' was the one that went first and was the one put above all else. we were irrelevant, his safety and security overtaking ours.

We pulled out again, only to serve to a stop as the driver swore and muttered about the traffic. The other truck's hasty exit must have caused a bit of a block because it took us a few minutes.

Any hope I'd had that Paige might catch up faded after ten minutes. I started to tremble, unable to resist that fear, feeling the teenager's eyes fixed on me in the dark. He was rubbing himself, trying to not appear obvious, his breathing hitching as he openly gawked at my naked body. I tried to pretend I didn't notice him masturbating but it was hard to ignore the smell when he was done.

The driver and guard didn't even turn around. They focused, occasionally speaking into a wireless in one ear, taking us out of New York as fast as they could. I could hear them murmuring constantly to the other driver, hearing them report adjustments in the route, though they were so careful to not give anything away to me. The traffic was forcing both trucks to separate in order to get out.

It got quiet outside. Traffic grew less. The road was smooth, quiet, and I suspected it was some kind of highway. Less lights flashed outside as well. Where ever they were taking us was not near a city and, after hours had passed, I wondered if it was even in the same state.

It got cold too. Really cold. It must have been night. The kid was trembling too, where he'd been restrained, but at least he had clothing on. I grit my teeth and made myself bare it. The cold made my arms ache less, which was good, and I could handle a bit of cold.

Sleep came, uneasy sleep, constantly broken by the truck, arms screaming at how high I'd been tugged up. My feet were struggling to keep on the ground. Hours passed, so many, that I lost track of time. All I knew was that I would have to go to the bathroom soon.

When I told them that, the drivers, they swore and pulled up. A gun appeared in the dim light, one of them jumping out, the gun pointed straight at me the second he tugged the doors open. Run and he'd shoot. It wasn't a tiny gun either, it was a scary big thing, and I wished i knew more about guns so I knew what the hell damage it might do.

Then again, maybe I didn't want to know.

No touching, they were very careful, they instead let the chains go loose so that I could walk. I had to drag the chains, making it only a few feet from the truck, till the chains forced me to stop and make do where I was. They didn't take the tape off my mouth and shot at the ground near me when I went to do that myself. Clearly I wasn't getting a drink any time soon.

I had to do it in the gravel, as they watched, my face burning. But it felt so good to get my bladder empty, such a relief, that I kept my head up. They didn't touch me. They did shoot at me, laughing, when they thought I'd spent a bit too much time gazing at the forest, and the effect on the quiet night world made my heart hammer so fast that my teeth chattered against the fabric.

I was quick to get back in and they yanked the chains back up. This time I could stand though, the weight off my arms, relief for fifteen minutes while I enjoyed it. This didn't last because I still kept falling asleep, slumping, and it'd go back to sore shoulders and arms again.

The sudden slide of the cabin window woke me, the cabin lights cut off, as the truck slowed. The doors opened, the sound of men reliving themselves, laughing, and then they returned to the cabin and we started slower along the high way. The smell of food drifting from the front while they got a snack and flipped on the radio. They were acting like a couple of guys that were nearly home, relaxing.

Voices woke me from the front when they raised. They sounded annoyed.

"What do you mean, we're going the wrong way?"

"Orders. Master decided to move the entire facility a few hours ago. We've got to turn around."

"I know what we've gotta do but that's hours away. The other truck's GPS halfway there now. How didn't you see him going that direction? You're the fucking driver!"

"I was busy. _Driving_. That was your fucking job. Now shut up."

"Fuck."

Their voices lowered, until I couldn't hear it over the radio, and I frowned, straining to hear. Nothing. Whatever fear I'd been earlier, however badly he'd convinced me that I had to behave, that fear was long gone now and I was more than ready to try and spy on them, or hear something useful, because I fully intended on breaking loose. It had been hours and I seriously doubted that they'd keep Matt and that match like that all the bloody time.

In fact, maybe they wouldn't kill him at all, at least not until they had me in the room with him. Clayton had been right. I would fight teeth, nail, claw, to get Matt back, and follow him around the country or the entire damn planet if I had to. Here I was now though, swinging around in the back of some old truck, stark naked, so cold my teeth chattered, dehydrated and starving and I was just willingly letting them take me there?

This scenario was too much victim and I'd had more than enough of my share of that. I'd rather run around in the nuddy in the snow, half lost, than continue this.

I tested the restraints, gently weighing my body down on them, seeing how they worked. They weren't perfect, a little rusty, and I wondered what they were doing in the truck. Was it a meat truck once? I could smell it now, the faintest whiff of decay, so light that I had to really concentrate. The chains and restraints had once been for meat long ago. Long enough ago to make the entire system a little old.

That meant that it was also a little bit breakable if I was careful about it. Quiet. With the cabin door shut and the teenager asleep where he'd been left, I had a chance.

I shifted closer, one foot balancing now that it could touch the ground, the other reaching out to prod at where the chains were attached at the wall. The walls of this truck were thin, some kind of thin stuff, which was probably why they'd wanted to gag me. Elena's truck would have to be different if they'd sound proofed it, newer maybe, better. I prodded at it, trying to get my toes through the links of the chains over there, seeing if I could wriggle them one way or another.

The truck swerved, slowly, and I fell backwards, swinging with it. Then it was turning in a slow arch. Changing direction? They must have found somewhere they could turn then. The sound of a chain fell from where I'd been manipulating it but no one bothered to look, the truck was still twisting around, and I sighed with relief.

My arms were coming loose.

"What the hell..." A yell, the truck suddenly speeding up so fast it groaned, bumping off the road, skidding on snow, on grass, as the truck struggled with the sudden increase in speed and the turn it was still halfway through. Tyres skid, loosing traction, I could hear swearing and...

Suddenly, we were on our side, sliding in the snow, a huge impact from the front sent me flying into the door of the cabin beside a smaller body, the chains not designed to restrain in this direction. The truck skid, twisting around, whatever it'd hit causing it to spin, and we were falling suddenly, gravity vanishing, before the truck hit a hard ground and slammed us down with it. Head met something hard and I was gone.

I woke to find someone on top of me. The teenager, loose, his eyes glazed with something, blood encrusted. The funny thing was, here we were, in a crashed truck, and he wanted to rape me? Now? His fingers, trembling with the cold, were fumbling with his clothing. Maybe he knew this was the only chance he'd get. His scent was all over me from our bodies bumping in crash.

My arms were loose now though. When I felt him try and slide down his pants, I wrapped the chain around his neck, using the bits of it attached to my arms, movement so sudden that he yelped. Froze.

Without being able to speak and with it too dark to see his face properly, I couldn't threaten him, but I didn't need to. The chain tightening around his neck was more than enough to tell him what exactly I thought of this idea. The chain closed down tighter around the soft tissue, his gasp, choking, hands clawing at my arms, but could I do this? I wasn't even sure if I could.

The door was flung open, yanked so hard that it broke and gave way, flash lights pointing at us and blinding us both. Heavy feet, two of them, rushing across the metal side of the truck, and yanking the kid off me. I was just about ready to kill whoever it was too, going to hit them with hand and chain and all when a hand closed around my wrist to pull me up, but a familiar scent filled my nostrils and I relaxed.

Nick peeled the tape off my face, carefully, face white with rage. He turned onto the kid, where Clayton had pinned him against what had originally been the floor, the kid's pants falling down.

"Where's Elena?" Nick asked, softly, glancing around.

"Different truck."

Nick swore, turning to see Clayton freeze, before he lifted the teenager higher, hand tightening on his jacket.

The boy, obviously a teenager, was already crying in big gulps, his entire body shaking, tears and snot and red splotchy face. Clayton hadn't laid a hand on him, he was terrified without that, flinching every time someone came close.

"Where is Elena?" There was the flash of something silver. I thought they might have done it, might have hurt him, but there was no blood. Just the sudden stench of urine as the threat made the kid piss himself.

"I don't know!"

"You like hurting someone tied up and helpless? Pain turn you on?" Clayton was moving closer, a low growl in his throat, his hand clenched hard around the knife.

"No... I ... I thought when my dad was bored..." He struggled to talk, the crying making it broken and he seemed to have trouble breathing as well, inhaling and exhaling so hard that I thought he'd pass out.

"You'd rape her, is that it?" Nick had let go of me when he said that and was standing beside Clayton. He was almost scarier than Clayton at that moment, which was saying something, the two of them towering over the kid. "Rape a woman who was tied up? You think that's something a real man would do?"

"I wasn't... I mean I was... but I thought... I thought maybe she'd ...maybe she'd get used to it. Let me... and I'd take care of her ...and... Maybe like me after a while." In other words, I realised, he had a delusion that I'd fall in love with him. I wondered if he'd ever heard of Stockholm syndrome.

"Nick, take Anne and wait in the car." Clayton was rolling up his sleeves, one by one, his neck pulsing with blood, face frightening even me. I suddenly felt really really bad for the kid, even after what he'd wanted to do.

Nick backed off and tore at the chains, yanking them clear off the wall, using his own knife to try and unhook me from them. When my wrists were freed he went to wrap me up in the blanket, so angry that he was shaking, yanking me off my feet and jumping out of the overturned truck. I glanced back to see it. The truck had skidded, turned over, hit a tree and fallen into a small valley. There was one body in the snow near the road, another lower down, where they must have been flung from the cabin. Neither moved.

Clayton's car was on the side of the road, looking like it'd skidded itself, blocking the road. It must have given them one hell of a fright to find themselves suddenly blocked by a car. Nick opened the door, sliding me into the warmth, and went around to get in the other side.

"Did he hurt you?" He inhaled, recognising the other scent on me, his lips pressing together so tight the blood seemed to drain out of them. Nick was already finding the answers as he asked, hand brushing across where I'd been slapped, yanking wrists up to yank at the metal bands still around them, trying to snap the collar off.

"Nothing bad." I reached up trying to find a catch or something. Just that stupid lock. My teeth chattered, Nick frowned, leaning into the front seat to crank the heat up higher. "Nothing bad at all. What ...how..."

"Jeremy never said we were forbidden, exactly, Paige said that." A quick tense grin. "We both knew how much you were both looking forward to coming home so we got Pav to help us find catering in town. She got you a cake too. The woman's a genius, she had both things by the end of th afternoon. So we decided that when we gave you suitable time dress shopping, around an hour or so, we'd come rescue you all. Then we find Paige napping in front of the shop and you and Elena gone, followed the smell of you to the back and we followed the truck."

"Where's Paige?" I glanced around, hoping to see her, but she wasn't in the car.

"With Dad. A bit groggy but she'll be all right."

I sighed and shut my eyes. Nick wrapped his arms around me, hugging me, though not an inch of him relaxed. Something warm was slid back onto my finger, I glanced down, finding the engagement ring in the dim light. I had to carry more stuff small but that wasn't valuable. Drop that. This ring was too valuable now.

"Did you hear where they'd taken Elena?" Nick asked, leaning back, his attention returning to the metal around a wrist. "We thought you'd be together."

"She got a special one. Soundproof and all. I think she was causing some problems. They had her ahead of us then our truck was going in the wrong direction so... I'm not sure where she is now."

"Sounds like Elena." Nick slid backwards, glancing back at the truck, as he saw Clayton emerging from it with a very still body wrapped in the other blanket. "Hold on a second."

He leaned across to undo the trunk of the car, Clayton dumping the kid in the back, and slid back to wrap an arm around me again.

Clayton got in the driver's seat and took off, nearly skidding, hands white on the wheel.

"She was ahead of Anne's truck, giving them a hard time."

"So the kid said."

"Is he dead?" That was me, voice breaking, glancing back.

"Didn't even have to hurt him. Told me about some GPS thing they use to track each other in the front of the car and passed out." Clayton snorted. "Just a kid. The other two hit the glass and broken their own necks. They should have worn seatbelts."

Nick reached into the front seat and struggled to get something out, Clayton reaching for what Nick couldn't and throwing a bag back at him. "Here, get dressed."

I dressed as fast as I could, struggling a bit, getting some help from Nick. We tried to break the metal off again, tried to pick the locks, but only the collar came loose when I had the smart idea of unscrewing the hinges.

"I know you want to go get Elena, so do I, but I think-" I paused, remembering the sounds of them relaxing, the way they'd behaved just before they'd found out they had to turn around and drive somewhere else. "-I think we'd nearly reached where ever they were taking me. They were moving everyone. There might be people there. They might be halfway through moving right now."

"I know." Clayton cut me off, sharply, hands squeezing the wheel as his gaze remained on the road.

"If it was Nick, I'd want to go to him, but we might find-"

"I said, I know." He cut me off. He was so angry, I knew where he wanted to be, I understood.

I went quiet. Nick's hand found mine, squeezing it.

"Elena can take care of herself a little bit longer." He was struggling to say it, forcing himself to do the logical thing instead of what his instincts wanted to do, hands gripping the wheel so hard that I wondered if he was struggling with the urge to spin the car around and charge after her. "Anne."

"Yeah?" I glanced up from trying to pull the warm pants on, his eyes on me.

"Do you know how to direct using a GPS? Nick doesn't."

"I do, I use them all the time!"

"You get lost all the time. Anne?"

I nodded, yanking my jacket on, and slid into the front seat. Seatbelt, moved to plug it into the red four wheel drive, switching it on.

Two things were on it. There was an address near some place called Knoxville which was still programmed in, just half an hour away and a small dot further away, moving down along the east coast of America.

I put it up, pointing which direction, and Clayton turned the car around and started that way.

"Ellsworth? Where the hell is that?" Clayton muttered, glancing at the address, shaking his head.

I wasn't sure either.

Clayton hurried, as much as he dared in the snow, my directions seeming to get us in the right direction somehow, the roads changing around us. Towns, homes, land, they came and went, and I wondered just how far north we were. When I checked the map, we were apparently near Canada, which showed.

The other dot continued south, along the eastern coast, I kept a close eye on it.

The address led us to a farm of some kind. Farm, or something like it, surrounded by forest. We pulled up and hid the car, the three of us getting out, neither Clayton or Nick telling me to stay put. We could hear the sounds of shouts, activity, a couple of headlights from two different trucks moving down the drive way we'd hidden a couple of hundred metres away from.

"Nick and myself will change. We'll stay hidden and follow you. Once you're going in the front door, we'll be right there." Clayton didn't hesitate as he glanced at my clothing. "Those have to go. You were naked in the truck."

"Why not me too?" I did not like the idea of being naked but he was right.

"You're innocent enough looking, you're their wanted girl, and you have thumbs." Clayton moved away, already, glancing at Nick when Nick hesitated. "What's the matter?"

"She's never done anything like this before."

"She did handy work in the truck with the kid's neck. Come on. Get undressed, grab the GPS and get cold, we'll be back soon." He moved away into the bush. Nick kissed me, quick, before he backed off as well.

I undressed while I waited, regretfully, putting the clothing back inside the car and getting the GPS out. It had a battery, luckily, or this wouldn't have worked so well. Before long my teeth had started to chatter again and I tried to stay warm by moving close to the car and out of the wind.

When the two wolves joined me, letting me know they were there, they backed off into the darkness of the forest and I started along the road on my own, pushing my hands into hte jacket, flinching as the lights of a car shone on me. It skidded to a halt. Voices, so delighted, so happy, so damn cruel, like they'd found an injured rabbit they wanted to eat all up.

"Look who showed up!"

"Just in time. Come on." One of them was a werewolf, his hand closing around my arm, yanking me along the road. My teeth were still chattering and he took that as a sign of weakness. "Andrew's poor pet is nearly frozen to death. Is the last truck loading now? Shove a blanket in it for her."

Andrew? Was that his name?

"Where's the truck?" The werewolf's fingers dug into my arm as he yanked me across the snow, not caring if frozen snow and gravel hurt bare feet or not, dragging me up the driveway.

"Skidded on snow. No seatbelts, broke their own necks. I followed the GPS." I lifted it up, hands clenching onto it, the dim light against my bare skin.

A snort, a shove, and more laughter when I stumbled and fell. Someone yanked me up and threw me over a shoulder.

I was doing the helpless part all right, though I couldn't repress a snarl when I felt someone slap my bare ass.

"Relax, pet, we don't use someone else's property. Without permission, anyway."

The farmhouse looked so normal, so calm, like you'd see in a Christmas movie. There was even a Christmas tree still in one window. But as I watched I saw a woman being dragged out of it by a chain on their collar, stark naked and stumbling, ruining the image for a brief moment. Then they vanished into the truck and it went back to being that picture perfect American farmhouse in snow look.

She came back again, fighting so hard that I was dropped in the snow and the werewolf lunging forward to help the humans, a sudden spurt of blood from one of them as something silver flashed in the light from the windows. One of the humans collapsed onto the snow, gasping, his heart giving way.

They were so busy with her that they didn't see or hear Clayton until the big golden wolf was on them. Nick wasn't far behind, only pausing to lick me, before he was attacking them, teeth finding wrists that held guns, snapping the bones. The woman vanished inside the truck, backing off, very sudden.

I slid up, standing quickly, but they'd made quick work. The house had been almost emptied fully of whoever had been inside, leaving just one werewolf and a handful of guards to drive the last truck. The werewolf was unconcious, his arm torn open, all the humans dead, and I went to tie him up.

I felt someone grab me from behind, hand iron on my bare arm, twisting my head to seea security guard clad in snow gear, breathing hard, face white his hand shaking so hard that he struggled to hold the gun that he pointed at the wolves.

"S-stop... stop them ...call them off... or I'll shoot..." He had an accent, Mexican or South American, and he was trembling so hard that he struggled to hold me.

The problem was that he was human and he clearly wasn't even sure if the wolves could understand him. Did he know about werewolves at all? Maybe he didn't. Maybe they didn't tell everyone. This man was dressed in the kind of clothing someone would wear if they had to guard a property for hours on end. He might not have even known what was going on inside. Not the truth anyway.

"They're wild wolves. I wouldn't shoot..." I said, in a low easy voice, so soft, his voice relaxing and tensing on my arm. "...there's two of them. Shoot one and the other will attack. Calm."

"They're ... they're ...not your pets?"

"Not my pets."

"Do we ...back off?" He was so afraid that the smell filled my nostrils. Clayton moved forward, snarling, the fur rising as the gun swung from him to Nick, his fur brisling. With his muzzle bright red against the golden fur it was one hell of a scary sight.

"In the truck. Slowly."

He seemed to agree with this, deciding I was on his side after all, sliding around the wolves in a wide circle, hand clenching my arm still so hard that I had to go with him. Maybe he thought he was protecting me now? Or maybe he hoped that if they attacked they'd go for the naked woman in front of him and give him time to run. That was more likely.

Nick seemed to think the same thing, a low growl as he stepped forward, the man pancking and shooting at Nick while he spun, loosing grip of the gun when I snatched it from him, and raced for the back of the truck, sliding inside it, trying to yank the doors shut behind him. We all ignored him. Nick had yelped so high and loud that the guard no longer mattered.

Nick yelped, backing off, suddenly limping, one paw held up off the ground. Clayton moved in, sniffing, licking, finding a wound in his shoulder. The same one he'd nearly got shot in last time.

I wanted to rush over but when I tried, Clayton growled, his head going to the unconcious werewolf. He was right, of course, we had to deal with the werewolf and the guard, but...

He shook his head, turning on Nick, licking the wound. Nick seemed to be fine, stood still, though he was trembling so hard and it terrified me. What kind of wound would it be when he turned back into human? Where would it be? I yanked the werewolf's arms behind his head, not caring if his arm was torn open, finding the handcuffs he'd had probably originally for my use and slamming them down. It made him groan but he didn't move. I glanced around, wondering if that was really enough, and found one of the dart guns abandoned in the snow.

There was something very satisfying about pointing at him and shooting him with it, watching a dart embed itself into his ass, and his body stiffen before it relaxed.

Someone attacked from the truck, the security guard, seeing me work with the dogs causing him to find a fresh wave of bravery. I swung around but Clayton was much faster, yanking at the man's ankle, yanking him onto his stomach and jumping on top of him. Blue eyes met mine, then to the gun, waiting. When I'd finally figured out how to reload the dart gun properly I did exactly the same thing to the securty guard. He yelled, he swore, trying to get up, teeth keeping him down, and then a dart to the behind and he was asleep.

Nick slid down onto his belly, paw still held up, whimpering. Blood was dribbling down his dark fur onto the snow, eyes narrowed in pain, licking his own wound. He'd have to change back. I couldn't help him.

Clayton moved past him, nuzzling at him, and into the house. I followed Clayton when Nick gestured, the dart gun reloaded, but the house was empty. The basement, which had clearly been used for storing 'pets', had empty cells. Equipment was gone, computers, cabnits of drugs, all of it probably moved just hours before. Clayton wasn't interested in what was left. He rushed us, rushed us along, and we rushed back outside to find Nick fully changed and human, tying a strap of fabric around his shoulder, cringing. Red blood seeped from it and ran down his chest.

"Did it go all the way through?" He asked when we came out, glacning over his shoulder. "The bullet."

I moved behind him and shook my head. No exit wound. "It's still in there then?"

"Shit. Probably. We'll deal with it in the car."

He handed me the fabric he'd been wrapping around it, instructing me to bind it firmly, but not too much, and I did as he asked. He didn't seem to be dying, just in a lot of pain, and I had to trust him to know what he had to do.

Clayton gestured to the truck. Did he want us to drive it? Probably not. I slid the doors open and only now rememberd that they'd been moving one pet into it when I arrived.

She was terrified, I could smell it, though her eyes flashed at us in the darkness, challanging us all the same. She was standing against the back of the truck, a chain in one hand, a knife in the other. The look was gone as fast as it had come though when she saw Nick and myself, equally as naked as she was, clearly not the usual uniform she'd see around here.

"You better bloody well be the rescue party or you may as well leave me here." Her voice was very Australian, weak, but full of a real anger still. I didn't know how long they'd had her but she was very clearly not broken.

"Danielle?"

"Who's asking?"

"Reece's pack sister." Nick answered for me. He was staring at her like he couldn't quite believe it, and neither could I.

"Reece?" She hesitated, grip around the knife relaxing and tensing as she stared from one of us to the other, "Where is he? How do I know if you're lying?"

"We're not lying."

"Listen, sheila, I've heard all kinds of bullshit to get me to do what they want. A naked chick claiming to know Reece won't stop me from fighting. You get Reece to tell me himself or you back off." The knife flashed in the light as he hand clenched around it. Hard.

Clayton moved into the truck then, now in his human form again, rubbing his head as he took in the woman. He frowned. "We don't have time for this. Leave her to freeze."

"We can't do that. I promiced I'd bring her back."

"Promiced who?" She was not relaxing one bit. IN fact, the sight of Clayton seemed to make her even more ready to attack.

"Your brother. Look, come on, we'll call Reece when we get to the car."

"Not happening. I told you, he tells me or no one tells me."

"Anne..."

I understood suddenly what Clayton wanted. Dart gun in hand. She understood too, eyes dropping, eyes narrowing. She lunged, I shot, and the two of us grabbed Danielle's arms and pinned her down onto the bottom as she struggled, trying to slash us both, wild with rage and fear. The smell of werewolf rose around us, making Clayon inhale sharply, his eyes narrowing at her. She'd been bitten and survived. How many more?

Then she slumped and was gone, asleep, relaxing.

"How are you doing, Nick?"

Nick swore from where he was standing outside.

"Can you handle carrying her to the car" Clayton glanced at me and I nodded. "Good. I'll be there in a moment."

I yanked her up, hoisting her over one shoulder, and with Nick helping on the other side, we went down the hill and walked slowly towards where the car was hidden. Nick carefully lowered her into the back seat, as carefully as he would with me, and tied her hands together. He wrapped the blanket around her and tucking it in so she was fully covered.

"We'll call Reece when she wakes." He said, glancing back at me, before he rested himself back with a soft groan. "Can you get my clothing?"

I nodded and headed into the bush once I'd dressed, finding their piles, and bringing them back to the car. Nick dressed slowly, with my help, his face white with pain.

"FIrst aid kit under front seat."

"I'll get it." I went around to get it and went to sit in front of Nick, opening the kit and pulling the bandage open.

"You'll have to get the bullet out." He tugged something out that looked like a long scalpal.

"What! What about-"

"Clayton's driving." Nick pushed it into my hand and leaned back.

Clayton moved into the driver's seat as I sat there, staring at the wound horrified, clearly intending on driving. He glanced back at us and didn't ask me to naviage, hooking the GPS up again and checking the address.

"Shit. What are they doing all the way down there?" He muttered, shaking his head. "We're heading off. Hold on back there."

"Drive smooth, Anne's going to get the bullet out."

"I..." I had no choice, I knew that, but I wanted to argue. Who wanted to dig a bullet out of their lover's body with a sharp object? "Isn't it better to leave it? I don't know how far it is or if it'll bleed worse or..."

"No she isn't." Clayton surprised us both. He glanced back at Nick and handed him a phone. "Not without calling Jeremy first."

Jeremy agreed with me, that I shouldn't try taking it out, and instead led me through how to treat a gunshot wound, voice so calm and comforting that I calmed down enough to do it, leading me through every step like he was teaching me how to boil an egg. We got the bleeding slowed, covered it, and I gave Nick something to help ease the pain. It was clearly not good, the wound, but there was nothing else I could do.

He then had Nick fill him in on what had been happening, clearly furious that Nick and Clayton had vanished like this, but they must have called him earlier and let him know because all he asked about was the house and how they found me. I heard him, still between Nick and Daniella, telling Nick that he'd be waiting for us and would take Nick, myself and Daniella back to Stonehaven.

"But-" Nick protested, frowned, and handed the phone to Clayton.

Clayton spoke in it, relaying the address, seeming to agree with someting Jeremy was saying. I couldn't hear it now.

After a few minutes of quick discussion he put it onto speaker. "Antonio, Paige and Lucas are waiting to swap. They're good at this. Clayton will fly, Nick will have to drive back, and Reece and Jamie will be meeting you both halfway up so that he can drive. We'll have to teach Anne to drive a manual soon." Jeremy instructed us.

Clayton seemed to agree, glancing back, as if he was going to say something. He didn't though, just turned and went back to the road, driving so fast that the world outside wizzed past in a rush of white and black and dark blues. Dawn was coming.

"Is everyone all right" Jeremy asked, when no one answered him, and we muttered yes, or 'fine'. "If you get tired, Nick, stop and we'll meet you."

"All right. I should be fine."

"Speak to you all soon."

We came to an airport almost half an hour later, a smallish one, Clayton getting out and taking the GPS with him. He threw the keys to Nick.

"You sure you can drive?" He called, already hoisting a bag out of the back, ignoring where he'd left the teenager unconcious.

"No problem." Nick replied, cringed as he moved the wrong arm, and then grinned. Clayton shook his head.

"Don't speed." THen Clayton was gone, hurrying into the airport, leaving us.

Nick moved into the driver's seat, yanking a shirt on, letting me help him tug it over his bad arm. After a quick thought I put one of those triangle things on it, so that he didn't move it too much, and so that if we were pulled over it'd seem obvious why he was struggling with one side.

"Thanks, love." He leaned forward, kissing me, mouth brushing against mine.

I slid into the seat beside him and we took off again at a more careful pace.

It was a long drive back. When I asked how long and found out it'd be an eight hour drive I understood why Clayton had gone for the plane. It was faster, easier, and he could track Elena down faster that way.

I stayed awake with Nick, the two of us talking, trying to keep each other awake. After a while we couldn't do it anymore. He pushed the phone into my hand, his face far too white, shutting his eyes.

"Call them and tell them what road we're on. I'm exhausted."

I called up one of the numbers and got Jamie. She reassured us that they'd be there, and to keep calm, before we cut it off to save battery power.

Nick was dying. I could smell it, my instincts were screaming it, and it took all I had to not panic. Instead, I moved to sit in his lap on the wheel, pressing more pressure back against it. The blood was faster again. I put as much pressure as I could, pressing down on it, ignoring his hiss of pain.

"Baby."

"If you say so." He opened one eye, a small warm smile, reaching up to stroke my face.

Waiting was a torture. Everytime a car passed, I twisted, trying to see if it was them, even when it was obviously too early for them to have made it. The light faded in slowly, only to go dark again when a sudden rainstorm hit the car, the water half frozen and turning the edges of the road sloppy with dirt, snow, mud. We had no food either, nothing in the car, and we had to wait. Danielle didn't wake, she stayed fast asleep, warm in her blanket.

They found us later that morning and I shifted out of the way so Reece could gently lift Nick up and carry him around to the back seat of the other car.

"Jamie's driving this one. Want to stay with him?" He asked, as I trailed after them, heart stopping everytime Nick hissed in pain. He wasn't really concious any more either. "Second thought, maybe you better, keep holding onto that wound. I'll drive Dani home."

"She'll wake up soon."

"I'll handle her." Reece glanced back to the four wheel drive where Danielle was sleeping, like he couldn't quite believe it, shaking his head. "She's like you now. Amazing."

"She's a bit scary."

"Just a show. She's pretty soft really, just keeps her safe."

I remembered what she'd done to one of the guard's throats with a butter knife, as it'd turned out to be, but I didn't correct him.

"Probably a good idae to keep her tied up though." Reece added, after a thought, and leaned down to kiss my forehead. "See you soon, sister."

Jamie brought some bags of food from out of the boot, offering them to me, and went to get in the driver's seat of her car. "You all ready to go?"

I nodded. Reece jogged to the four wheel drive and slid in, waving, and we took off.

Six hours later and we were home. Nick hadn't woken the entire time, I ate only because I knew he'd tell me to, and whenever Jamie asked if he was awake yet, I'd shake my head and she would go just a fraction faster. At one point Reece swerved, and we slowed, to see him ducking something thrown at him from the passanger side.

"He can handle it." Jamie decided, after a moment, and continued on.

The second we pulled up, Danielle burst from the passanger door, stark naked, her hands unbound, heading for the forest, looking so angry that even Jeremy hesitated to call her.

"I'll go with her." Reece called, jumping out. "She's a bit pissed with me. Actually, I'm a bit pissed with her too. We'll be back in a few hours." He hurried after her, carrying the blanket she'd left behind, calling her.

Jeremy had bigger problems, and he turned to help us carry Nick inside, not even bothering to head upstairs. We went straight for the living room and he was lowered carefully down onto the dining room table. I was already starting to panic, as I knew how bad it was getting, I could see the blood still seeping out. Water was already boiling, the fire roaring, some kind of tool inside it, and Pav led me out of the room and upstairs, telling me that she could take care of it. She was trained. I was panicing. Her voice was so calm, as she spoke, and I had to let her, had to trust that she knew exactly how important he was to me.

I sat on the bed and waited, fear pulsing throughout me, jumping at every little noise coming from downstairs. Ripping fabrc. Metal. Soft voices. No noise told me what was going on, it only hinted at it, making it worse. He'd had to wait over eight hours to get help and the bullet was still inside him. Should I have taken it out? Should I have taken him to a hospital? What if I'd wrapped it wrong? Or what if his arm wasn't supposed to be in a sling?

WHat if he died? My eyes drifted down to my hand, the one that'd held as much blood in him as possible, suddenly aware that it was still covered in his blood. What if he was dying right now?

I almost charged downstairs at that thought, almost, but the sound of Pav and Jeremy's voices made me stop and go back to sit on the bed. No, I had to stay calm, because he was in the hands of his alpha and a nurse. Who was better at this than them? The entire wedding anxiety had flown out the window now. Now all I wanted to do was drag him down that asile, ignore the guests, and let him know exactly how much I agreed with him about the future. Life without Nick would be wrong. Soulless. I wasn't sure it was something I'd be willing to face.

This must have been how Clayton felt, I realised, when he knew that Elena wasn't with me. That she was in danger too. I wished I'd insisted on going iwth him, helping him, but I had to stay with Nick. I had to care for my mate. He probably understood that too but I still felt guilty suddenly. Elena wouldn't have been taken if I hadn't let them take me to go dress shopping. Dress shopping! What a fucking stupid thing to do at a time like this. Any old white dress would have done. In fact, it didn't even have to be white or a dress, and I was silly and selfish for starting to enjoy the idea of a real wedding.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out, as Jeremy finally came up, "I shouldn't have gone. At all."

Jeremy blinked at me and stared at the blood crusted hand. He took my other hand, leading me into the bathroom, and washed it as I stood there, his face full of regret. "I have to tell you something, Anne. The capture wasn't how it seemed."

"How do you mean?"

"We had decided that we'd try and lure them out and follow them by letting you go into a public area."

"Wait-" I had to think about this. Lure them out? Using me? "Like bait?"

"You and Elena as bait, yes."

"Did she know?"

"Yes. She helped come up with the idea."

Anger bubbled up inside me. Jeremy seemed regretful, very much so, but that didn't stop me from blurting, "What about me? Why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't think it would go the way it would. Didn't think they'd try and grab you in public, or if they did, they'd keep the two of you together."

Something else dawned on me then. Clayton and Nick. Following us around. "Clayton and Nick weren't there to take us home, were they?"

"Nick was- he had no clue, Nick refused to hear anything that he couldn't tell you. But Clayton knew. He didn't like it, but he knew." Jeremy sighed. "We didn't think they'd seperate you two, we assumed she was in the truck with you. It went badly."

"Damn right it did! You should have told me!"

"If you knew that he was hovering around you, waiting to grab you, would you laugh? Joke? Try on clothing?"

"Of course not, I'd be waiting to claw his eyes out. But if I knew that I was to act like bait, I would have giggled, and pranced, and ate cupcakes alone on the street, even worn pink, if you wanted that vulnerable look. I would have tried to stay with Elena. I might have tried to protect Nick better..."

"We didn't tell you because we wanted it to go smoothly. But I ...should have. You showed you could handle yourself and I'm sorry."

"So now what? Where is Nick?"

"He's fine. The bullet is out, safely, wound cauterised, and Pav is cleaning him up. We have an address for where Elena is and you're staying here..."

"So I stay safe? I can't just let them do this to-"

"You're staying here to make sure the wedding happens and you don't get thrown out of America on the next plane."

"Can't we delay that?" I deflated. I had forgotten about that part. If anything was worse than being stuck here it was being sent to Australia.

Jeremy shook his head. I sighed, deflated a bit more, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "It'll work out."

"Pav could do it."

"She can't do it all for you. We've got two days left till the wedding, you need to stay put and help get it done now. And Nick will need you around while he heals." Jeremy was getting into that 'final' tone he did, when he was almost done, but he was hesitating, not wanting to leave either. "I'm bringing him up in a few hours. We're just giving the stitches a moment to hold."

"I guess that's all there is then."

Jeremy nodded and twisted his head towards the window as the sound of wind suddenly pounded on the side of the building. "If we've found their final address, if this is the place, you will be sent there as well." Jeremy said, after a while, voice soft while he watched Nick. "I'm aware that you probably feel you need to be the one to help finish it."

I nodded.

"You'll be there. For the moment, we'll get Nick fine again, wait, arrange chairs, and clean." He stood up slowly and paused, looking back at me. "Want to come down stairs?"

I nodded and followed him downstairs. Nick lay across the table, Pav sitting nearby with her hearing on him, and it was him that looked deathly pale now. It really didn't suit him.

She twitched her head up as she heard us coming, striding to me, and hugged me tight. Pav looked incredible now, I realised, now that I was looking at her. Her skin was glowing, hair silky, no sign that she'd been sick except for the way her eyes didn't quite focus on my face but instead in the direction of it. I hadn't seen her when I'd recovered, she had been in the other house, and now I was glad she was here.

"Welcome home. Sit down, we'll check you too."

Jeremy was tugging a toolkit out and I remembered only then that I still had metal bands around my wrists. I sat down, reaching up to take one of Nick's hands, frowning hwne it didn't curl around mine like it always did. It just lay there.

Jeremy pulled a chair across and started to work on undoing them one by one. Pav asked me questions, touching where my head had struck the truck, asking Jeremy what the skin looked like, but apparently there was no problems. I was fine.

"Did you find ..." Pav asked, hesitating, like the name wasn't something she could say,, lifting her head up to gaze at me. "Did you find her? Any trace of her?"

"No. Daniella was the last one being moved."

"She might be near Elena." Jeremy said. He clipped it and got one off, throwing it aside carelessly, before returning attention to the other wrist.

"She probably is." Pav tried to sound optimistic but clearly she was picturing other things. She had to shake her head and try and smile, which failed, before muttering, "I'll be upstairs a second. Call me if there's a problem."

"All right."

Pav moved away and hurried upstairs.

"Should I..." Should I go up to her? Comfort her? I wasn't sure.

"She prefers to do that on her own. A lot like you, it seems." Jeremy tugged the second band of metal off as he glanced at her path, worry etched in his face. "She's spent the last four weeks cleaning like her life depends on it."

"Maybe it helps her." I couldn't imagine it. How it felt to be here, safe, getting well, while she knew her wife was somewhere else, possibly sick, dying or dead, being tormented. I would have charged out of the house by then. Here she was, patient, waiting, caring for everyone else, and pretending she was fine. "Maybe I should go up to her."

"She'll just pretend she's fine. I've tried that. It's better to let her get it out." Jeremy shook his head.

"I should have talked to her more." I wanted to, I did, but truthfully, I didn't think I could leave Nick now. He still wouldn't hold my hand and it bothered me too much.

"You had something else you had to get out. She's had no shortage of people to talk to. I'll bring you something to eat." Jeremy stood up, not because of that, but because the phone was ringing. When he looked at who it was his forehead tensed and he hurried away. "Clay-"

Another temptation to get up rose, for a moment, to find out what was going on. I didn't. I stayed where I was, hands clutching to his limp one, unable to leave his side.

I woke up on the couch some hours later, Pav sitting beside me listening to an audio book, one of her hands in mine. I twisted up, panicking, but Nick was still there. Still sleeping.

"You fell asleep." She said, tugging one earplug out, patting my hand. "Relax. His breathing is getting easier."

"I'm sorry I didn't find Vi."

Pav tensed, her warm smile gone for a fraction, left with what she was really feeling. Grief, anger, and fear, but she was quick to hide it with another smile, making me wonder if I'd seen it at all. "You nearly found her. We're nearly there. I know she's alive."

"How?"

"I feel it. If she gets hurt, sometimes I feel that too. She's alive and she knows I'm alive." She squeezed my hand a little too hard, her lips tensing slightly. "She's tough."

"I wanted to bring her with us." There, there it was, the source of my guilt. I had to leave Pav's mate behind then I came here and suddenly I found my own. That was so selfish, so cruel to her.

"Vi was very determined you would leave her behind and take me. She's stubborn. Nothing could budge her if she wanted to stay put. Not even me." Pav turned to face me. She was still trying to smile but it kept faltering. "If you're worried about marrying while I... don't. Every time I see you happy I see those ass holes loose their control on us, I see that we have a chance to survive, and I feel like I can be happy again too. That there's hope still."

We both listened to Nick's breathing, our hands clasped hard, her breathing faster than usual. When I slid up to rest against her side, she relaxed, as if she'd missed being so close to someone. She wrapped an arm around my waist and we both shut our eyes.

The front door slammed open, the wind catching it, as Reece and Danielle tried to sneak inside. This startled Nick, finally waking him, and he leapt off the table in a failed jump, crashing to the floor with an oath.

"What... where am I? Jeremy! Anne! Clayton!"

Pav was flying up, shoving him down onto the ground, with the fury of a nurse who had an unruly patient. "Stay still." I'd never heard her raise her voice before, led alone give an order like that, but it was effective. He froze exactly where he was and stared around.

"Pav? Where is ...why am I here?"

I wasn't far behind Anne and when he saw me he relaxed, collapsing back onto the floor with a relieved 'Oh, there you are' expression.

"What's going on?" Nick asked, shaking his head, glancing down at the wound. It was again seeping blood.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Pav asked, frowning, helping him up and getting him into a chair.

"Clayton driving like a lunatic after I got shot." Nick held his good arm out to me, as if he was inviting me to sit on his lap, which made Pav's frown deepen and she slapped his arm down. "Hey!"

"No cuddles. Anne, how bad is the bleeding? How fast?" She asked. I remembered she couldn't see things as well and moved closer, checking, seeing that it was just a small trickle.

"It's not so bad. Just slow."

Pav relaxed, shoving a wad of linen against it, and held it there. "Idiot."

Nick yanked me closer. His arm was trembling but his grin was wide, silly, and he was clearly tempted to try to get me back in his lap again. "I'm feeling _great_. What happened?"

Pav muttered something about that being because of too many painkillers as she moved away .

"You drove us and Reece came and took over the driving." I remembered something suddenly, remembering who was in the boot, and glanced up to Pav. "Did Jeremy find what was in the boot?"

"Boot?" Jeremy returned from whatever he'd been doing with Reece and Danielle, confused look on his face. He was thinking of a literal boot. I had to remember that here it was American slang only.

"I mean, the trunk. Back of the four wheel drive."

"Yes." Jeremy answered as understanding dawned on his face. "He's downstairs, perfectly fine, just a bit upset. Where did you find him?"

"He's the son of the werewolf that kidnapped me. His dad was going to reach him the ropes about how to treat a woman."

Nick muttered something about cowards, yanking me into his lap, lips grazing against the back of my neck.

"He's very young." Jeremy shook his head. "I..."

"Sorry!" Danielle stormed into the room, still dressing, interrupting Jeremy. She froze mid pace when she realised she'd cut him off and to my surprise, flinched, as if she was expecting to be struck for that. She looked embarrassed at her own reaction. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Go ahead." Jeremy shook his head and yanked me out of Nick's lap, giving him a look. "No laps."

Danielle tried again. "Seems I owe you an apology. Thinking you were there to trick me. It's been a bit of a mind fuck, this entire year." She shrugged and glanced at Reece who didn't look at her, refused to look at her, his arms crossed. "Reece explained it all. Sorry- what were you saying?"

"I was saying, I'm going to need some help with the teenager downstairs until Clayton returns. He's very young, just about ready for his first change, from the smell of him, and I want someone to take care of him while we keep him in the cage." In other words, I suspected, Jeremy wasn't keen on him being killed like the older ones or being tortured either. He was fairly innocent, so to speak, too young. If that happened, he'd wait for Clayton to return and talk with him. "Food, water, someone to talk to, something to wash with. It's very possible he'll talk honestly without any encouragement."

"I'll take care of him." Pav said. Her face was steel now. So stubborn, so strong, the nurse face back on.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Food, water, a basin of water and soap, and a talk every now and then. No more difficult than any other patient."

Nick's hand tugged me closer so that he could wrap an arm around my legs.

"Sit down, everyone. We'll do introductions for Danielle."

We all sat down around the table, introduced ourselves to Danielle, her lips twitching, I could imagine her mind reminding her that she'd seen us naked before she'd known our names. She seemed to be impressed when I told her that I'd escaped the same place she'd been taken from.

"This mean I get to kick their asses too?"

"After a while. First, there's some rules."

Jeremy rattled off the same list of rules he'd applied to myself and Pav so long ago, slightly modified as if he'd figured out some things didn't work as well as others. Reece still ignored her. He was not happy still, somehow, looking like he was forcing himself to sit there.

When Jeremy was done he stood up and headed outside, not another word, nearly knocking over his chair.

Danielle watched him go and I saw, under that hard exterior, the softer version's hurt at his rejection. She had to swallow and grin but I'd seen the look on her face and knew that she probably still cared about him. I felt bad for her, having known that she'd been in that place longer than I had, knowing how it'd felt for me to have Nick there on the other side, so trusting of me, so eager to care when I wanted to shove him away. Sometimes I still wanted to shove him away and he'd back off but come right back when I calmed down, like he'd shown when I needed to mourn.

Nick seemed clueless about Danielle's feelings, no big surprise, and yanked at me when I went to stand up and follow Reece, frowning when I left him sitting there. He was fine, he was happy on drugs, Reece was upset as well now. I followed Reece outside.

The rain was gone now. Whatever reason it'd been there had passed and the wind scooped up snow and filled the air with it. It was difficult to see where Reece was but I could hear him, hear fists connecting with something wooden, his mutters and curses. As I came closer I called and he glanced up to see who it was before returning his attention to the young helpless tree. Smack. Smack. Growl.

I stood not far behind and watched him. The tree suffered, cracked, and fell across the driveway, making him swear and jump back.

"Tree killer."

"Shit, I didn't mean to do that. Help me out." He bent down to tug it out of the way of the driveway and I moved to help, dragging it through the snow. "What do you think of her?"

"Like I said, scary. Seems okay."

"She says she didn't know what her dad wanted to do." He growled. "She was there standing near my parents."

"Maybe she's telling the truth?"

Reece didn't answer, yanking at it harder, his fingers white in the cold. He wasn't just angry though. He was upset. After a while he stopped and stuffed his hands back in the mitts, turning to face me. "I keep seeing them when I look at her. I see them dead and her standing there beside her father. Waiting for me to find them."

He didn't move, just stood there, anger and grief mixed on his face. "It doesn't get better, you don't stop missing them. Every damn day I think I want to tell Dad or Mum something, or meet someone, or see something and then I remember that I can't tell. Then she comes waltzing back in, wanting me to forgive her, saying she didn't want any of it. That her dad's dead too now. It's not the same for her though."

Reece twitched, then he moved, walking past to the house. No, not the house, he was going for the firewood. I watched him as he threw it, threw it everywhere, trying to break it, trying to get his fury and hurt out.

I didn't know what to say. I just stood there, as he did it, watching, waiting. Somehow that seemed to be enough because after a while he calmed down and we started to pick up the firewood and put it back in a pile.

"Do you think I should forgive her?"

"Do you?"

"I don't know."

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

Reece froze and he shoved the block hard down on the pile, nearly toppling it. "That's not the point, is it."

"I guess for her it might be."

"I can't just jump into another love affair with her. Not like you and Nick. I can't ..." He shoved another one down. "She pisses me off so much. Just her face."

"You were in the forest for hours with her though."

He looked up, a sheepish look there a moment. "Yeah, well, I didn't want her to freeze to death either."

We stacked up the last of it and stood back, watching the snow blown around by the wind.

"Maybe she was afraid of her dad." I said after a while. He seemed to not like that answer either. "His son was. I just... I was afraid too. When I came out of there. I was feral until I bumped into Nick and Antonio. I didn't remember him but I don't know how I'd have been if I hadn't found him. Where I'd be. What I'd be hunting."

"Yeah."

"I'm not saying you have to forgive her. Just don't attack her a lot. Let her know what you're thinking, get all that shit out, and leave it out. Taking it out on trees isn't going to work forever."

Reece didn't answer. I wasn't sure if that helped either but he reached over to grab my hand and we went back inside.

Danielle had gone upstairs to Pav's room to rest, Jeremy informed us, and Nick had gone up to my room. I hugged Reece hard as he got the keys out to drive over to the other house.

"Just don't pretend to feel nothing." I wasn't sure what exactly I meant by that or if it'd even help. He didn't seem to get it either but he nodded anyway.

"Thanks, sis. See you tomorrow. Long day of arranging chairs for your wedding."

I scowled and he grinned, roughing up my hair before he hurried off.

Nick was waiting for me when I went upstairs, awake, a little less cheerful now. The medication was probably wearing off. "Everything all right?"

"I just wanted to make sure he was okay."

Nick nodded and leaned back onto the bed with a wince, sliding up against a pillow, and I crawled across to get back in with him.

"How are you?"

"Starting to feel it a bit more now. Can't believe I got shot. Dad will be impressed." He seemed really pleased though, by this, like he was telling me he'd won the lottery instead. "I have a manly scar now- you can't call me beautiful any more."

"I'll call you sexy from now on then." I suspected Antonio, if he'd seen how bad Nick had been, would have been as terrified as I'd been, but I didn't correct Nick. Maybe it was a male thing. "No more bullets though. You scared the crap out of me."

Nick moved to kiss me then, suddenly, but his shoulder made him cringe and fall back onto his back. He shook his head. "Don't call me that for a few days. I can't enjoy it as much."

I lay down onto my side and watched him. He was still far too pale but he was lively again. That had to be a good sign.

"How did you go with seating?" I murmured, kissing along the lower part of his arm, kissing his palm. It was an easier question than a lot of other ones relating to the past twenty four hours.

"I... thought we'd just wing it. People sit where they want. You know."

"Paige might object to that. Didn't she have a list of people who had to sit together and who couldn't sit together?"

"Yeah, well, I don't get that. We're all adults, we can find a seat." He glared at where the papers were sitting. I glanced too. They looked exactly like they had when I'd left him up here. "You scared the crap out of me too."

"Hm?"

"I thought you were dead when we went inside. Fuck." Nick shifted onto one side, tugging me over onto him, seeming to not care if it hurt him or not.

"Nick, when you two came in, I was choking the teenager with a chain and my teeth were chattering." It reminded me suddenly of Princess Leia. I'd have to watch that again now. It wasn't as fun or as easy on the hands as it looked.

"Yeah, well, you looked dead to me. How do you feel about being a classic fifties housewife instead?"

"Never leaving the house?"

"Exactly."

"Not happening." I shook my head, adjusting my body so that his bad side wasn't being pressured by my weight.

"I tried." He didn't seem to care though, hand stroking across my back, tugging the shirt up so he could stroke the bare skin. Nick sounded almost proud as he added, "Clayton was pretty impressed, I think, finding you already halfway to escaping."

I didn't care what Clayton thought, as much as I liked him, impressing him not high a priority, but Nick clearly did. So I grinned and kissed him.

My thoughts went to Elena. It'd been a full twenty four hours now, or close enough. "Do you think Elena's okay?"

"It isn't the first time someone's tried to cage her up. She'll be giving them a hard time till Clayton turns up and rips them up."

The outside lights came on, making us both jump, the sound of a car coming up the drive. I slid out of bed and saw Reece coming back to the house, Jeremy waiting outside, skidding a little in his haste. They exchanged quick words before Reece got back in and was driving off again.

"Who was it?"

"Jeremy must have wanted to tell Reece something." That was a bit odd, unless Reece forgot his phone, but how had he known it was gone? I wondered what was going on down there. Pav was outside too, joining Jeremy, his arm moving to wrap around her shoulders. Now I really wanted to know what was going on. "I'm going to see what it was about."

"He probably forgot something. Bring me up something to eat, will you?" Nick shut his eyes as he shifted lower down. I nodded and turned to hurry down the stairs.

Jeremy and Pav were coming back inside. I wasn't the only one to notice the activty outside, two pairs of little feet and one pair of big feet rushing down the stairs ahead of me.

"Where's Mommy? Daddy?" Kate called, sleepy, still in pjs.

"Sorry, Jeremy, they were up before I could blink." Jamie called. She already had caught Logan, who didn't seem to mind as she wasn't moving.

Jeremy knelt in front of her. "They've got to do some work tonight. You should be in bed."

"They work too much." Logan muttered. He yawned as his eyes went from Jeremy to Jamie, then to me. I saw it suddenly, how intelligent he was, because he seemed to understand that something more serious than usual was going on. But instead of causing a fuss, he seemed to glance at his sister, think of something and asked, "Can I have some ice cream?"

"Ice cream! Can I have some too?" Kate seemed to love that idea, grabbing onto it, distracted from her parents for a moment. I blinked. Logan was protecting his sister.

"Oh come on. One scoop and back into bed for the rest of the night. Deal?"

Kate nodded and hurried ahead of Jamie. Logan was quick behind her.

Jeremy glanced up at me and gestured quietly to come into the study. I did so, following him and Pav, and we sat down as Jeremy shut the door behind us.

"What's going on?"

"We got a phone call from Elena. She's in town."

I sat up straighter, shocked. "Are they-"

"She decided that it had taken too long and incapacitated the werewolf with her. I assume he was the one you know."

I nodded. "Probably."

"Apparently she replaced him, gagged him, and slid out the back. They didn't even know she'd gone. She's waiting in town to be picked up, so Reece has headed over to get her. I can't seem to get Clayton and tell him but I've left messages on Paige's phone." Jeremy didn't seem worried and when Pav looked concerned, he added, "They were on a flight to Florida some time tonight. It could be that they're in the air."

She relaxed then.

"Is Elena okay?" I was almost afraid to ask that question. Pav tensed again. We both knew what they were like, those werewolves, how they treated captives.

"A little pissed off, which means they weren't gentle, but she'll be all right. We're not going to tell Kate or Logan she's home till she's had a long rest." Jeremy moved to open up a book.

The car came back some time later, delayed by the difficult weather, and Jeremy hurried outside. Jamie had managed to get the twins back into bed, to his relief, and Elena was welcomed by us alone.

She looked awful, she was cold still, but she looked relieved to see me there and not curled up in a ball upstairs again.

"Is Clayton still following the truck?"

"We'll give him another call now. Then I want you to sleep. All of you." He turned to look at myself and Pav as well. "We can discuss what happened in greater detail in the morning."

We moved back into the study and Jeremy went to dial the phone. This time we heard Clayton answer, Elena yanking the phone, relief on her face.

"Clay? Where are you?"

"Speaker, Elena."

She flipped it on.

"Fuck, darling, am I glad to hear your voice. I thought we were going for a holiday in Florida with Paige and Lucas." Clayton's drawl was easy, relaxed, and Elena relaxed just the slightest bit more. Only a little bit.

"Sorry, I changed my mind."

"Want me to come home?"

Jeremy spoke up then. "Not just yet. Did you find the address?"

"Jere? We're looking at it right now. It's in a bunch of old warehouses beside a dock. Armed guards, some security cameras, trucks coming in and out for a while. Hard to know which warehouse is the right one without getting close." Clayton swore as tires came close, teh sound of him backing up. "Too much traffic around here. Lots of warehouses, lots of stuff coming and going, we're not even sure which truck we were chasing."

"It was dark green." Elena spoke up.

"That leaves us with about four, maybe five, trucks. Six. Another one just pulled in."

"How do the trucks get in?" Jeremy asked.

"Looks like some card they scan. We're staying in the car for the moment but we'll go to a hotel for the night now I know Elena's not still in one of the trucks. Can I talk to her alone for a while?" He wasn't just speaking to us, but probably to Paige and the other person as well.

Pav, Jeremy and myself moved away as she took the phone.

"You may as well go to bed." He said softly. The danger was over, apparently, but somehow I felt anxious. "I'll talk with Elena further."

"All right. Night."

I went to get Nick something to eat but when I got up there he was asleep, breathing slow, relaxed. I ate it for him, before sliding in beside him.

I was exhausted but I couldn't sleep for long. That feeling of danger still lingered, like there was something just outside my senses, I just couldn't relax.


	10. Planning

"Anne."

I was asleep.

"Anne."

Nope, I was asleep. Go away.

"Anne, come on, wake up."

I groaned and pushed a pillow at the voice. Stupid voice. Couldn't it see i was asleep?

"Ow!" Nick hissed in pain.

I flew up, eyes opening suddenly, expecting to see him bent over in agony, blood gushing from his wound. Instead he was sitting there grinning, waiting for me, clearly knowing exactly how I'd react. In fact, he almost looked a little too happy, a little too relaxed, leaning there. Naked. Had he been naked when we fell asleep? I didn't think he had been.

"That was low." I muttered. "Got new pain meds working?"

"Mmhmm. Come here." He yanked my legs over, climbing on top of me, kissing me hard. "Good stuff. I've got about half an hour before it stops being so good."

"Nope, no sex till marriage." I wriggled under him, closing my legs, denying him anything.

Nick laughed and nipped at my neck. "You know, little Aussie, what we have been doing _is_ called sex."

"You're wounded. No sex till after we're married." I wriggled out of the bed and out of his grasp. Bathroom, locked the door, and showered while he knocked on the door and made various half hearted threats to break it down.

I let him in when I was done, sliding to sit on the bench with a towel around me, watching him shower and shave. He was looking better already, healing quick, his body recovering faster than any human could.

"Have you been downstairs?"

Nick nodded. "Elena's still asleep, if you're going to ask."

"I was wondering where Clayton was. And Paige and the other person."

"Jeremy wants him to stay there a bit longer, I think, he was downstairs working on marking out a map. Looked like he'd been up all night." Nick concentrated then, starting his grooming routine, and I watched him.

"I'll go take a look." I leaned over to kiss his still bare cheek, just before he covered it with the stuff, and went to dress and hurry downstairs.

Jeremy was exactly where Nick said he was, staring over a satellite map of the warehouse district on the computer, a print out of it beside him with pencil scribbles on it. He did look a bit tired but his smile was warm when he saw me.

"Have a good sleep?"

"More or less. Did you figure out which one was the right one?"

"More or less. Some are clearly marked and owned, some aren't, it's difficult to say." He returned his attention to the map on the desk beside him. "It's probably one of a few. Paige has been calling about the seating arrangement."

"Isn't she supposed to be searching for the warehouse so we can deal with that?"

Jeremy nodded, his smile a fraction wider. "I'll tell her that's your answer."

I slid down to gaze over the satellite images. It seemed really stupid, really fucking stupid, to be doing some kind of wedding when this was going on. If it wasn't for the fact that I'd be kicked out of the country if it wasn't done I would have made them stop it. 'Coming back' as Elizabeth Miller had bought time, maybe, but it had caused a hell of a lot more problems. The magazine, now that we'd accepted it, would expect it to be like a real wedding.

"We could just do it in a town hall."

"We could, and maybe that was the better idea instead of letting it get so big..." He shook his head, as if he couldn't believe it himself, "...but we won't. Paige and Elena have got everything already booked."

"I'll help pay for it." I intended on paying for it all, to be honest.

"You don't have to. Antonio is the one paying for most of it. You're going to be his daughter in law." Jeremy laughed softly. "I think he gave up on that years ago."

"You two grew up together, didn't you?"

Jeremy nodded.

"Was your dad the alpha?"

Jeremy stiffened, making me wonder if I'd asked the wrong question, but he turned to regard me and then moved to a drawer. He pulled it out and sat beside me again, pushing the map aside, opening it. "I suppose no one's really shown you this yet, have they?"

"What is it?"

"Our history. The legacy."

It was the book, the one Andrew and Nick had briefly mentioned in Australia, with all the history. It was ancient too. Jeremy flipped it to a family tree and gently traced names on it.

"Tonio's father and grandfather were the last alphas before I was. This is his family." He showed me the line, tracing down to where Nick's full name was. Nicolas Sorrentino. It sounded Italian. "He was very happy to have me take that over and change the pack. My father wasn't much like me." Was that a scowl? It _was_. For the first time I'd seen a flicker of dislike on Jeremy's face.

"I heard it was different before you." I glanced at it and then him. There were a lot of names on that tree that weren't here, all men. No women at all until Elena's name had been put down, and then her daughter. "That you changed it."

"There's been a lot of changes in the entire supernatural world. New races are appearing, miracles happening, even female werewolves appearing out of no where. I was the one to keep Elena alive during her change and I couldn't believe any other woman could survive that. Now there's three more bitten women in Stonehaven, potentially more in that warehouse, and the first hereditary female werewolf." Jeremy shook his head. He looked his age, so to speak, like he was thinking over his entire life. "I don't think I changed it, really, I think it was changing already. We never thought we'd live to see _one_ female werewolf." He glanced at me and seemed to remember something, eyes going from me to my stomach. "That reminds me of something Tonio pointed out last week. I'm sorry to probe but have you had a period recently?"

I flushed bright red. Of course he'd know the answer, he had a nose that could smell the faintest trace of blood, but he was asking it anyway to be polite so that he could get to his point. I wondered how many werewolf noses around the house had noticed this?

"I think loosing weight stopped it."

"Possibly."

"Why do you ask?" If he thought it was that too, why did he ask about it?

"Take a pregnancy test anyway after breakfast. Here." Jeremy tugged a paper bag out of the drawer and gave it to me. "Better to hide it from Nick so he doesn't panic."

"Pregnancy test!" I almost raised my voice, almost, but managed to keep it soft. Was it even possible? Of course it was. But still... "It's not that."

"You're probably right, that it's the weight loss, but better to be safe now. Speaking of weight loss, breakfast time. Three scoops of the powder in one glass of full cream milk and three pills." He dismissed me, leaving me with the idea that I might be pregnant, like he'd said I might have the flu.

"What if I am pregnant?" I sat down, refusing to be dismissed so easily, keeping my voice low. "What then? Nick doesn't want kids."

"Then we'll worry about it then and increase your nutrient intake. Unless you'd be thinking about an abortion."

The word abortion made me grimace. No. I wasn't against them, exactly, and if I'd gotten pregnant after being raped I might have gone that way, or maybe not, I didn't know... but the word abortion right now felt so _wrong_. After all the deaths, after seeing so many girls die in the past year, my own family, there was no way I could be willingly responsible for another death. It didn't matter if it was the size of a seed or not.

"I guess that's not an option." Jeremy read my face easily. "Take the test before you get worried about that."

I nodded and went to get breakfast, the package heavy in the pocket, my head spinning at the idea. I reached down to touch the stomach. It wasn't big, it wasn't even really curving, it was just a stomach that had nothing unusual or special about it. Pregnant! Why had it taken me so long to think about this possibility anyway? I hadn't had a period since I'd come here, putting that aside to first stress, then the weight loss, and both were probably more likely reasons than a pregnancy.

Still, when I saw Kate playing with her brother in the living room nearby, two cute five year olds whacking each over the head with stuffed animals, the cute girl screeching, the idea stuck in my head like a tack jabbed into the brain.

"Get me any food?" Nick interrupted my thoughts as he prodded me, before leaning over to steal one of the pieces of toast.

"Sorry, no." I glanced back at him. He was already turning to the fridge and rummaging through it, keeping his sore side still. If it was a pregnancy then he was equally to blame. He was experienced enough with sex to know what sometimes came out when something was put in. Thirty years or so and he hadn't had a kid yet. When I felt the urge to pee, my heart sank, dreading the test.

It had to be just stress and weight loss. I was underweight, apparently, and anyway a pregnancy wouldn't probably even last during that kind of treatment. The test wasn't even important.

Nick slid beside me and pushed papers down. He glared at the seating arrangement and started to try and work it out, scratching his head, stuffing food into his mouth.

I stood up and headed back to look at the map instead of do the test. When Jeremy looked at me, waiting for an answer, I shook my head and he took that as a 'not pregnant'. I let him. The idea that I was pregnant was just too much right now. If I was, it wasn't going anywhere any time soon, and if I wasn't, it also could wait. The wedding was overwhelming enough.

Pav was there now, and if she knew about the potential pregnancy, she didn't mention it. Instead she said, "I need to know what to do about the dress. Paige sent me the details but she wasn't sure if you'd want the design after what happened."

"I want it. It was fine, I liked it, and that ass hole doesn't get to tell me what I wear." I was stubborn about this. "I'll pay for that, at least, I can pay for it." There was enough in my old bank account and I still hadn't touched my card yet.

"If you like. Go get your card and I'll call them."

I nodded and hurried upstairs. Ignored my bladder, ignored the little package in my pocket, grabbing the wallet and moving back downstairs. I gave Pav the card and waited with her while she dialled, expecting to have to read out the numbers, but she managed to read it with her thumb brushing over the bumpy letters.

"The only one in your size is backless. It's the exact same dress, but there's a keyhole thing in the back."

I hesitated. I didn't like the scars but why should I be ashamed of them? Or even have to explain them? "That's okay."

"That's fine." Pav spoke into the phone. "It's a rush though. Can we have the dress delivered today? The extra charge is fine. Thankyou, goodbye."

"Anything else I can do?" I looked to Jeremy. Give me tasks. Give me something to do. A map to look at, a dossier to read, _anything_. He shook his head and my face fell.

"Go do some painting?" Pav suggested. "I want your help later but I'm fine for the moment here."

I went to see how Danielle was doing instead and wished I hadn't. She took one look at me and slammed the door in my face. Confused, I was going to call Reece, when I found that he'd left a message on the cell for me.

Apparently my advise to 'tell her exactly what he was thinking' had been very bad advise. She was pissed off, he was pissed off, neither wanted to talk to me or each other, and he asked me to please not talk to him for a while.

That didn't help my mood. I stomped to my own room, resisting the urge to call him and tell him off for asking me if he didn't want me to answer, instead going to stare at one of the books I'd been given for Christmas and had no time to touch yet.

That didn't interest me either.

I had to sit down and think about this pregnancy thing. I hated it but while Nick was distracted downstairs, it was as good a time as any.

I wasn't sure when my last period was. Dates weren't exactly a priority in that place. But it had been around two weeks or so before I'd escaped, maybe three weeks, a humiliating experience there in that open place, and it had been more or less normal like before my life was turned upside down. Then my first time, or rather, my second time with Nick had been pretty soon after I came here just before Christmas. Then we did it again, and again, and again, all over the world, without either of us stopping to think what we'd be tempting fate to do if we didn't try some protection. Both our fault there. I may not have been experienced like Nick but I knew about protection.

"Anne." Elena's voice made me jump and I glanced up. "Sorry. I wondered if you wanted to come for a run. Jeremy said you were restless."

I nodded and followed her outside.

It turned out that, while I was pretty fit now in the human world, I wasn't quite up to Elena's standards in the werewolf world. After a while I had to slow to a jog and then to a walk, gesturing for her to keep going in the snow, panting. Bloody fitness stuff. Yoga was much more interesting to me than running.

She circled back after a while and we walked back to the house through the snow, admiring it.

The day passed. I drifted around the house, the bag a heavy weight in my pocket, trying to help people do things and finding nothing that I could do. Danielle refused to talk to me. Nick struggled with the seating but when I offered to help him he shook his head and said he'd do it. Jeremy was on the phone to Clayton every now and then, giving soft orders, keeping the rest of us out of it. Pav was up and down the stairs, talking to the kid, and the kid freaked out when he saw me so she forbid me from going down there.

We went to sit in the kitchen in the afternoon and I found myself trying to concentrate on photo of flower arrangements while Jamie failed to keep Kate out of the room. And naturally, where Kate was, Logan was, and I got back into the 'Oh my god' head space about the little brown package in my pocket.

"Anne, come on. You like flowers, don't you?" Pav said after half an hour, as I mumbled 'that's nice' to nearly everything, unable to decide. Kate was very eager to tell me which she liked. She pointed them out and started to whine and get teary when Pav would ask me. I was almost willing to let her pick but Pav luckily was in a more sane frame of mind than to let a five year old pick out everything. She turned to Kate finally, who was getting close to tears about wanting her own way, and said in that 'nurse authority' voice, her Indian accent not keeping her words from being clear, "Katherine Danvers, you can pick the flowers for one table and for your basket, and one more later if you're quiet."

I expected this to bring on a fresh wave of tears but it didn't. She was suddenly happy again and pointing out exactly what she wanted. This flower from this bunch, that from that bunch, and so on, creating something that would make the florist think we were mad. But it was her choice and when she was done she was happy to watch.

"Of course I like flowers. But why so many flowers?"

"Flowers are deeply meaningful in a wedding. In India, all weddings have as much flowers as food." She shrugged. "Remember the weddings in Bollywood?"

I did, and I understood why Pav was the one getting the flowers under way. This was an area she was familiar with.

"What are those orange flowers they had everywhere in them?"

"Marigolds?"

"They're nice, all golden and warm, we could have them."

Pav nodded and smiled somewhat. "What else? Do you want warm flowers then?"

"I guess so. It'd be nice with how much snow is outside." I glanced out the window at the gentle snowfall out there.

"What are marigolds?" Kate slid closer, trying to turn the pages of the floriest's book. I flipped through it to find one for her. "It's so _orange._"

"Red or orange roses would be nice with that as well." Pav suggested and I nodded.

"Okay. Um..." I did have an idea now, not exactly flowers, but the catalogue had shown so many leaves and stuff...

"What else do you want?"

"I guess I was wondering if there could be eucalyptus leaves. I know that's not a flower but there's a lot of bushy stuff in these things so..."

Pav nodded. "What other flowers did you like?"

"Wattles. Frangipanis. I loved the jasmine plant on my driveway, I used to put a piece of it in my hair on the way to Uni." I paused and remembered what Nick had said earlier when he was trying to motivate me into the car in the first place. "Tiger lilies."

"Marigolds, wattles, frangipanis, jasmine, roses, tiger lillies and eucalyptus leaves?"

"It doesn't really match much does it."I frowned and thought Pav's shake of her head meant she agreed.

"No but that's not your job. I'll give him the list of flowers and yes-" She turned to face Kate who's mouth had started to open "-give him your special order as well. One last thing I'd like you to do though, Kate, you can pick one with Logan's help more for being so good."

Kate slid close again, eagerily. Logan moved closer too, curious, unable to hide his interest in all of this.

"One bunch of flowers from these ones for your mommy to hold."

Pav let Kate and Logan pour over the little images of the floriest's pre-organized boquets. They took a while, arguing a little, before they seemed to find something they both liked and I read the name out for Pav.

"It's called 'Mixed Orcheds'."

"What did you want?" She pushed it at me now. "To carry down the asile."

Oh yeah. I had to carry one of these things too. I remembered another bride's arrangement, years before, when I was young. The Australian woman that'd married that Danish Prince had carried something I'd liked back then, with eucalyptus leaves and some sort of flower thing.

"Can I ask them to do something like another bride's thing? Bouquet I mean? Not exactly the same but like it?"

Pav nodded. "As long as you can describe it or they can find it on google, I imagine they'll try."

"Princess Mary. She was this Australian that met a man in a bar, turned out he was a crown prince, and she married him." I had loved her wedding. Normally I didn't care about them, these celebrities, but she wasn't a celebrity and she had been so down to earth even in her wedding. I'd also found myself taken by how this crown prince cried as he waited, on camera, not caring if millions of international viewers saw him bawling his eyes out or not. "She had a nice one. I guess it could have wattle and tiger lilies or something instead of the white though. White's a bit cold for winter."

"I'll call them up now." Pav nodded. "Can you start it ringing the cell phone number for me?" She turned the catalogue on its back and pointed out where a business card had been taped onto it with the right number.

I started it ringing for her and she got into them, authority back in her voice, somehow getting it moving with so little time. She also somehow remembered everything we'd said. Kate's pick, my favourite flowers, the bunch for Elena to carry, what I'd said, and told them that the other two bridesmaids could carry flowers similar to Elena's flowers. The other two? I wondered who were up for that task. Elena, probably, Pav, maybe Paige as well. Daniella had come too late and with her being pissed off at me, she'd probably have no interest in that.

"All done. Cross off the flowers!" Pav said, shutting the phone, and relaxed. "That's it for now."

Suddenly it was back to boredom again. Dinner wasn't far off, luckily, and I finally was able to cook again so I spent a while doing that, using the food to make something that was less instant and more home style meals. Maybe I wasn't very good at cleaning or sewing but I could cook.

Nick went to bed not long after that. I was worried but Jeremy reassured me that it was to do with the rapid healing- he needed rest now in order to help his body quickly heal it up again. Pav had looked at it earlier and found it already well ahead of what a humans wound would be at. I just had to relax and let it go.

The next day it was the same. Study door shut, basement off limits, Nick busy with some new task given to him to do with catering, I wandered around and found myself returning to the painting after all. Pav and Reece had taken Morgan and Noah into town to set up the venue and meet the people they'd contracted for the various duties here and there.

It didn't feel like I was getting married in two days. It felt like we had two wars to fight, one in Florida, and one in town, and Jeremy was trying to mobilise a small group of warriors suitable for each task. Would Clayton and Paige and her hubby even be back in time for tomorrow? I wasn't even sure if that would happen.

The magazine crew were in town now, ready. Apparently the flowers were already in the hall. Clayton had been in a fight down in Florida, though no one really was willing to discuss this, the discussions kept between Elena and Jeremy. Nick refused to join in- he wasn't going to lie to me- so they had to keep him out of it as well.

Finally I couldn't take it any longer. I went and knocked on the study door, waiting to plead to know _what the hell _was going on in Florida.

Jeremy let me in and I found myself staring at someone beside Elena. Melissa looked tired, like she'd just come from the airport, but even after that massive flight she still hadn't dropped the professional look she seemed to hold so well. Elena stood up and excused herself, sliding out behind me. She looked pale.

"We were just about to come find you." Jeremy shut the door behind me.

"Really?" I turned, hopeful that I'd get it now, something to do that didn't involve flowers or cakes or seating arrangements.

"Nothing that exciting. It's about your inheritance." Melissa spoke up.

My mood plunged down at that word, remembering when I'd last seen her, but I nodded and sat down. "Oh."

"I know you've had a hard time but as your lawyer, at least till the will and magazine are done, I really have to suggest you get on with that." She was opening up her case and putting down paperwork onto the table.

"What about-" I was going to ask about Florida, Jeremy knew that, but he cut me off with a shake of the head. I had to change my tactics. "What about it?"

"Your sister's property is still perfectly intact and probably needs some cleaning by now. I imagine no one's cleaned out the fridge, unless one of her friends thought to do it. I have some suggestions about how you might use it. And I had your parent's property cleared just after you left when the police opened it back up- I'm sorry for doing that but it had to be done and you were too ill to contact-"

"I gave her permission." Jeremy said, softly, when I tensed.

"We found some things that survived the fire and have them stored and ready to come over for you." Melissa gave me a list of items which I stared blankly at, the words not really sinking in except for one, a teddy bear. How a teddy bear survived the fire when other solid things didn't, I had no clue. "The property is now approved for a new build or for selling. I'd recommend that you have a property built before selling, as it'll increase the value and perhaps give you something back, but that's your choice as well."

"I'm not sure if I can afford to build anything." Or if I could even go back to Australia.

"You received the insurance, didn't you?" When I looked blank, she blinked.

"I haven't really looked."

Melissa shook her head. "I've got a copy somewhere." She was thumbing through the papers and put something else in my line of sight. "Life insurance was taken out on your entire family some years ago by your parents. It should be more than enough to build a house, if you needed, and there's your parent's savings."

I stared at the figure she showed.

It was a lot of money. No, it was a _lot_ of money. My parents had never been rich or even really 'middle class' but they'd always been stubborn about wanting this for us. Insurance on their lives, on their house, on their car, because by the time they'd had me, and my sister had her first child, they were already in their forties and by the time I was twenty, they'd be sixty. My grandparents had all died around that age, except for my father's mother who'd died in a car accident in her thirties, and it was a fear they'd always had. Leaving us too early.

Still, this didn't seem right. I was a millionaire. This was just a bit strange.

"You sure that's the right amount?" I muttered. Stared at it, waiting for my brain to go 'Oh, that's why it's huge, because I'm reading it wrong' but nothing happened. The ink on the paper stayed steady and unchanging.

"The house insurance paid for the fire damage, enough to rebuild the house and furnish it a little. Life insurance was considerably more. The car was insured as well, and as that was damaged, that was covered. The funeral was covered by the life insurance." Melissa checked it all, as if she was aware of every last detail. "That's the right amount."

"What was the delay in paying it?" Jeremy asked, his hand still on my shoulder, his calming presence helping me not freak out too much. He was looking at something else on the letter. It had apparently been held up for a while.

"Police and insurance company both wanted to investigate. They found no reason to be suspicious."

"Investigate what? Me?" Anger rose, so much, that I wanted to shove the money back at those people and tell them to bugger off. Money was worthless if I could get my family back. "Did they want to see if I'd killed them?"

"It's not uncommon for this to happen after an accident but I hurried it along a little. You are very innocent and they have no illusions otherwise now." She spoke very clearly, very easily, but I wondered how she'd hurried along a little. Maybe I didn't want to know. Melissa was, however human she looked, a half-demon and I didn't know what she could do besides 'tell when a person was telling the truth'.

"Thank you for your assistance." Jeremy spoke up.

"Yeah, thanks. I just..." I stared back down at the number. "I don't know what to do now. I can't go back to Australia."

Melissa gave me a minute to look before she went back to her original topic. "My suggestion is that you rent out your sister's house."

"She's Matt's mother. If, _when_ I mean, I get him back, that house is given to him."

Melissa seemed to be expecting that answer. "I agree but it will be years before he's able to decide what to do with it as a legal adult. The income could be separate to your savings, collected in its own savings account, used only for repairs on the house. That could give him a little more savings in the future and keep the house used and maintained."

"I like that idea. Okay."

"Your parent's property..."

"I don't know." I couldn't. I'd grown up there. How could I sell it or build a new house there? Or even build a copy of the old house? It didn't feel right. "I know it's urgent but I can't know. I grew up there and I can't even see it now." Why hadn't I seen it while I was in Australia? I felt a bit stupid now, I'd had a chance, and I'd lost it. Would I have really wanted to see it though? See it, as it'd been in the newspaper, burnt and ruined with police tape around it?

"Would you like me to arrange some maintenance workers to come keep it tidy until you're ready to decide?"

I nodded. Then I shook my head. She blinked. It felt like everyone was doing stuff for me, all of a sudden, calling people, doing contracts, and it was starting to bug me. Maybe it was more practical for her to arrange getting Susie's house rented out, as she was going back to Australia, but this wasn't so hard. Was it? Call them up, tell them the address, and let them cut the grass occasionally or fix fences or something.

"If you can give me a number I'll call." I said and Melissa's lips twitched in a small smile. "I can do that much."

"Fair enough."

"And your pay-" I suddenly wondered who'd been paying her this whole time. Had it been Jeremy? I glanced back and knew the answer. "-can I take care of that?"

Jeremy nodded. "After the wedding we'll meet to discuss that."

"All right then. I'm exhausted, I hope you both don't mind if I go back to the hotel now and sleep a bit." Melissa stood up and we made our farewells before she hopped back into her hire car and headed off.

I turned on Jeremy then with my original plan. It wasn't as effective though, now that I had this much to think about, and he easily distracted me.

The day before the wedding came in, with a fresh snow fall, the unused pregnancy test still weighing down the pocket of my jacket, and absolutely nothing that I could do. Elena helped Pav with reading phone numbers. Nick had gone out with the 'boys' to do some mysterious thing.

I was taken to the other house in the afternoon, Elena and Pav beside me, Nick left behind. Reece was there and one look at me showed that he was still pretty angry. But he had a job to do, to keep a watch on the house, and so he ignored me. It hurt a bit to see him like that and I had no chance to talk to him. I was yanked upstairs into the room that'd be Nick and my bedroom, whenever we got around to doing something about it. There was a wardrobe in there now though, and a door into the ensuite, showing that at some point Nick had done what he'd promised. We'd stolen the ensuite from the master bedroom.

"What time is the wedding tomorrow?" I asked, wishing I knew more details.

"Ten in the morning. Then a big lunch." Elena held up the dress and Pav checked it all over, making sure it was complete and perfect.

"Put it on, let's make sure it fits now. We don't need any problems tomorrow."

I did as they asked, while they waited outside, and was relieved to find that it fit like the other one. It was the same size, after all, and my body seemed to fit anything at the moment at the weight it was at.

Pav moved around me to check, brushing her fingers across to replace her eyes, and nodded after she was satisfied it was fine.

"Did you want us to cover your back with some make up or something?" Elena was touching one of the long scars down there.

"It doesn't matter. They're just scars." They were massive scary things, sure, but …

"The magazine might have questions you don't want to answer."

"Oh, yeah." I hadn't thought of that. She was right, if the magazine saw my back, saw the layers of long white and pink scars, it'd be hard to explain it. They might start thinking Nick was beating me again. "_Can_ it be covered?"

"I think I have an idea how." Pav moved to touch my back, her face scowling as she touched them. "Even my kidnapper wasn't this sadistic. Fuck."

It sounded strange to hear that word coming from Pav but it helped me feel a little less cowardly to cover it.

"What's your idea?" I asked. Make up? Latex? I wasn't sure.

"We'll surprise you with it. Okay, take it off and hang it back up."

We took it back with us, carefully keeping it packaged up, Elena keeping it in her room so that Nick didn't see it. For once I liked the idea of hiding something from him. It'd be a surprise for him to see me in that.

"Any news from the three in Florida?" I asked as Elena drove back to the house along the road. She paled just a fraction. "Is something wrong?"

"Clayton's a bit banged up. He's coming home tomorrow morning in time for the wedding though. There's nothing more they can do there."

That didn't sound good, the fight or the fact that they couldn't do anything. Had they lost track of them? "Did he loose their trail?"

"No, we know where they are. Clayton harassed them enough to force them onto a container ship."

"A container ship!" I paled myself now. They were on a boat? On the huge bloody ocean that covered almost all the earth? "How do we find them on that?"

"It's heading to a port on the west coast, near LA, before it goes to China. It's slow, bulky, and I think they only used it to get out while Clayton and Paige had the entrance blocked off. It won't move fast and we'll easily catch up to it when it docks on the other side. There are no stops inbetween." Elena's lips twitched in a slight smile. "Clayton trapped them on a ship for a while. We'll be waiting on the other side of the country."

"No way they can get off?"

"Not even if they wanted to. They could have paid the entire crew off, on those ships, but the ship is constantly monitored by multiple ports, and agencies owning the containers on board, and the owners, so they're stuck there for now. All they get is a cruise to LA."

I relaxed and she pulled into Stonehaven's driveway.

Dinner came too fast and suddenly it was time to go to bed. No big bachelorette parties, or bachelor parties, just a few bottles of wine appearing at dinner. Then I was upstairs and getting ready for bed, Nick waiting patiently, a lazy grin on his face as he patted his much too round stomach.

I remembered that test, that stupid test, and how I was supposed to take it. Not tonight. It could wait.

"Coming to bed, bride?"

"Remember, no sex till ..." My eyes went to his shoulder. He still needed mild pain meds for it, the wound still closing, so my rule held.

"Till tomorrow night, and the week after." He mock sighed but it didn't seem very convincing with the big smile on his face. "Can I kiss you?"

"Maybe." I slid into bed beside him, leaning across him so none of my weight was on him, kissing him gently. Nick pounced then, rolling me over, pain flashing through his eyes just a moment before he was on me, kissing harder, and I couldn't help but match it.

Of course I wanted to do more with him. But the smell of his wound kept making me want to back off, and so I shoved at him when he yanked one leg up, making him groan.

"Aw, come on. I'll be gentle. You could get on top of me..."

I shook my head, and he fell onto his back, trying, "You know, I hear orgasm is good for healing."

"I bet it is."

"Want to help?" A hand snuck over, grasping my hand, guiding it under his boxers. I let him, just for a second, my palm gliding over his increasing hardness. It seemed to jump at the touch. "Yes?"

If he didn't stop, I'd be jumping him, so I yanked my hand back and sighed. Of course I wanted to help. I was just about ready to jump on top of him. "Nick..."

"Tomorrow night then." Nick sighed.

"Why wait till night? I'm sure we could sneak away after the ceremony."

Nick grinned, leaning up, taking me in. "Oh, my naughty bride, not wanting to wait till her wedding night? I might have to make you wait now."

"Good luck making _me_ wait tomorrow." I nipped at his neck, softly. "It's been days. Are you sure about tomorrow?"

"About sex?" Fingers came to tease my bare hip under the pjs.

"About marriage. To me."

Nick blinked and he stopped teasing my skin with his fingers. "Of course I want to. Don't you?"

"I... I want to marry you. I'm just a bit overwhelmed about tomorrow. The wedding part. There's so much going on that it feels like it's a strange thing to do when other things are going on."

"Me too. We'll manage and find a nice quiet room to hide in for a few hours. Far as I'm concerned, I'm already married to you, this is just to feed our family some nice free food. Then it's back to chasing down those murderous mutts and saving America."

I nodded and shut my eyes, relaxing. We were married, sort of, already living together, already sleeping together, so what was wrong? I just had to sign some paper and become an immigrant to America, then celebrate that with a lot of food. Not so bad.

He shut his eyes and tried to fall asleep. I tried to do the same, tried, and after a while we both fell asleep, bodies pressed against each other, taking comfort in knowing what _we_ wanted.


	11. Beginnings

Thankyou for your reviews! :) I read them all!

For some visual imput, here's probably some help with dress-

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Again thankyou :)

The room was different. I stared at it sleepily, tugging the bed down, finding that everything had been moved. Or was it even the same room? The sheets were black and silver, with geometric shapes on them, no desk, there was a different painting on the wall, and the sound of a city outside. _A city_? That didn't seem right at all.

Nick was still there though. I inhaled slowly, breathing in that smell of his, and he seemed to wake when I shifted closer.

"I don't know who you are but I can't say I mind finding you here." He opened one eye, taking in my naked chest like he'd never seen it before, inhaling slowly. Then his eyes met my face and there was nothing in them, no reignition, no love, no familiar grin.

"What are you talking about? Where are we?" I wasn't dreaming. What the hell was going on? What was he doing with his face? He was staring at me like I was a crazy person found in his bed.

"I'm in _my_ bed. How did _you_ get into _my_ apartment?" He slid up and yawned, stretching, wearing some t-shirt I'd never seemed before. Another inhale, his eyes narrowing, as he seemed to take notice of the werewolf smell now that he was close enough. "And why do you smell like a wolf?"

I gawked at him. He really genuinely didn't seem to know who I was. And what the hell was with the sound of the city? The taxis? The shouting? I was groggy but it seemed to be coming from the window covered by the blind.

What if I hadn't been there? What if I had lost my mind while running, in New York, and had hunted down the only familiar face I could find. Made up all of this. I stared at my body, expecting to see the t-shirt, and finding myself in jeans and a sweater. What the hell was going on? Was I going mad?

"Antonio?" Nick called, louder, as he slid out the side of his bed. "Easy, lady. Antonio? You better come see this."

"What are you talking about? I'm Anne. You know, the woman you're marrying today?" There was the sudden sound of a taxi near by, honking loudly, no sound of forest at all.

"Sorry, um, Anne, I don't marry. I think you've got the wrong man. Shame though."

"I feel sick."

I felt like I was going to throw up. I threw myself out of bed, ignoring Nick's call to come back, and went for the door that had once been an ensuite in the dream exactly at the same time the door to the bedroom flew open.

I threw up, coughing, as Nick rushed in behind me. He seemed to have lost that face and he was really genuinely looking shocked now.

"Shit, Anne, what... I was just joking, I thought it'd be funny."

"What the hell have you done to the guest room?"

"Made it look like a city room. Cool, huh?"

"He ….said... he didn't know me." I said, coughing, the vile taste and overpowering smell of vomit making my head return to the toilet. Was he joking? What the kind of sick joke was that!

Elena was right behind him, hitting him hard across the back of the head. "Fucking hell, Nick, that wasn't funny." Elena charged at Nick, who backed up.

"I thought she'd realise I was kidding. Play along."

"With the sound of a city coming out of the phone you dangled out of the window? That'd screw any werewolf up. Argh." Elena growled, going at him again, as Nick ducked out of the way again, dancing around her to yank my hair up.

Another hand yanked him into the bedroom, Antonio's voice coming through the door, as he told him off as well and pulled him out of the bedroom.

"Sorry, I heard him doing something last night, but I figured it was the two of you having fun together." She rubbed my back as the vomiting finally finished and I flushed it away.

"How does anyone find that funny?" I muttered ,washing my mouth out, and glanced down at the clothing. "Where did he get these?"

Elena shook her head. "Males do strange things when they're nervous. I suppose things like really unfunny practical jokes."

"Clayton ever do this kind of thing?" I flopped onto the bed and stared at the phone she'd fished out of the window. He'd dangled it out there. What the hell?

"No."

"I'm the lucky one then."

She nodded, smiling weakly, turning the ambient cityscape sound thing off. "Want me to banish him from breakfast?"

"He'll just eat everything at lunch if we do that." Lunch. Wedding over by lunch.

I suddenly felt sick again, and it wasn't because of his joke. What time was it? Seven? Eight, nine, ten... three hours.

Elena followed my gaze to the clock. "I thought you should sleep in a bit. I know Paige is rushing back to help you, she'll be here at eight, so I figured I'd give you a bit of a rest before she pounced. Nick wasn't apart of the plans."

"She's coming back?" Oh yeah, hadn't Elena told me this? I didn't know, the nausa lingered around. The wedding was really getting to me.

"All three are already here, in town. Nick has to go soon to get ready. Did you want another quick sleep?"

"I need a quick walk, I think, get into the forest and out of this room." I glared at the covers. Elena nodded and seeing as I was sort of dressed, I was already hurrying downstairs within a few minutes, once I had a jacket and shoes on.

The house was exactly as I'd thought, except for the desk that'd originally been in my room moved into the hallway during the night by Nick. I heard Elena yell at him to put it back where it belonged as I was escaping out the front door.

I felt relieved when I found myself in the forest, in the snow, not in a city. Feet crunched on the fresh snow, the weather was clear with the occasional show of sun, or at least it looked that way for now, the sloppy version of snow gone and replaced by the pretty powdery kind.

I had to pee and I had to face something else, right now, or I'd go mad. I knew it, even as I found my hand pulling it out, knew that I had to deal with this. The throwing up this morning had sent my nerves to a all time high about the pregnancy thing.

"You all right?" Elena was jogging to catch up, apparently not intending on letting me go alone, and I pushed it half back in the pocket before I sighed and yanked it back out again. Why not? I felt a bit better about letting her know than anyone else, and frankly, I wasn't sure if I wanted to face this on my own just yet.

"Nick doesn't want kids."

Elena froze and stared at me. The statement was so out of the blue, so unexpected, that she couldn't hide her surprise and confusion. I explained it by tugging the little blue box out of the brown paper bag and showing her what it was. If the cute blue eyed baby didn't make it obvious then the stork and the huge words 'Pregnancy Test- the most accurate test in the world!' would.

"I noticed you weren't going through that cycle." She took it and glanced up at me. "Have you done one? When were you supposed to be due?"

I shook my head. "It's probably the weight loss and stress, but if it wasn't..." I trailed off, those excuses repeated in my head over and over so many times that it was starting to sound lame even to me. My eyes went past her towards the direction of the house. "I was due over two weeks ago, I think. Maybe three."

Elena hesitated. She stepped closer, moving to my side, the closeness sort of helping with this. "It's very likely it's your health doing it, like you said, but you should try it."

"That's what Jeremy said when he gave it to me." I muttered. What had I expected her to say? I wasn't sure, just that I'd had this urge to tell her, tell another woman. Why a woman mattered, I wasn't sure, but Elena had already had kids. She had some experience with this.

"Let's do it here." Elena could see what I thought of that idea, peeing on a stick in the snow, but she added, "There's no privacy in the house right now and I'm guessing you don't want to do it alone."

I shook my head. No, she was right, I really didn't. And why not here? No more embarrassing than anywhere else. It was a bit cold ,sure, but that wasn't really an issue. "I know that's a bit cowardly, but you don't mind waiting with me?"

"I made Clayton wait with me every time I tested while we were trying." She smiled a quick tense smile. "Here. It's not too hard. It's the same one I had to use. I guess Jeremy figured he'd get you one that was tried and proven.."

So there I was, in the snow, reading instructions and peeing on a stick. I trudged back over, face a bit red, but she just waited with me and didn't seem to care if I did pee nearby. Elena's focus was on the test itself. We stood there in the snow, waiting, my legs shaking from something other than the cold. It wasn't two minutes, we had to wait five.

Elena's heartbeat was as fast as my own, as she waited, staring at the test. Finally she told me to hide it in the box or we'd both go mad before it showed us what we were waiting for.

That didn't help and we yanked it out after ten seconds and tried to do something else. Look at the trees. Admire the snow. Tell Nick to bugger off, as we heard him following our feet, which I felt bad about but I wasn't sure if that would help.

Or would it?

"Better to know first." Elena said softly, agreeing with me. "Then you at least know what to tell him, if anything at all."

Two more minutes, I assumed, according to the cell phone's timer. We shoved it back in the box and tried to refocus on other things. I knew we should be in there, getting that wedding dress on, doing hair and make up and other things, and yet somehow this needed to be done first. But I didn't think I could move till this was done.

A sudden beeping made us both jump. She went to open the box and held it out for me to tug the sic out.

I suddenly just wanted to ignore it.

"Quick, waiting can screw up your result." She said and I took it.

I stared at it. Blinked. Stared at it a bit more.

Elena waited as patiently as she could, resisting an urge to stare over my shoulder probably, before she finally said, "What is it?"

"Two pink lines."

"So..."

We didn't need to say the word but I said it anyway, forcing myself to say it out loud, making myself say the word. It wasn't the word that was frightening, it was what I was suddenly admitting to.

"Pregnant." The word sent a thrill through me, not entirely unpleasant, my heart warming for a second. That was quickly followed by a less pleasant wave of anxiety. But I wasn't shocked. Why wasn't I shocked? Because we hadn't been using protection and this was generally how that went? I had this urge to look at my stomach again. Maybe it had gotten round overnight.

"Jeremy should know how to work out how far you are. Come on, we'll do it in his study, he'll still be around." Elena grabbed my hand and I shoved the test back in my pocket, hiding it.

Nick glanced up at us as we came back in, raising an eyebrow, as if he was trying to figure out what was wrong. "If it's the joke..."

"It's not. Relax. It's nerves." I said, trying to smile, and he just stared harder. What was the point telling him before Jeremy figured that part out?

"Wait in the study, I'll get Jeremy." Elena turned on Nick, as he went to follow me, "Get in the shower now while you can, because I think you're leaving soon,"

He frowned and nodded. I went to sit in the study, legs shaking, hands sliding under the top to press against my stomach. It wasn't flat, exactly, it'd never been flat. But was it harder than I remembered?

Some part of me wanted Nick to come along though. Sit there. Deal with it with me. But I felt guilty. Nick had said in Australia that he didn't want kids and he had been so good with the idea of Matt. If I was... then adding a baby onto a five year old was pretty cruel.

Then again, however young and immature he looked and behaved sometimes, he was fifty, and he was more than old enough to know what the hell happened if he didn't use a condom.

Jeremy came in then, followed by Pav. I showed him and he frowned. "I thought you said..."

"Sorry. Just couldn't do it then."

"You don't have to hide things from me. Pav, can you help out with this?" Jeremy moved into alpha mode, automatically, as he yanked over the calendar.

" What was the date of your last menstruation?" Pav moved to sit beside me, wrapping an arm around me, her warmth helping me relax a little. "It's okay. I dealt with a lot of this as a nurse, teenagers or women thinking they had food poisoning and instead were pregnant."

"Um, December. Maybe the middle of it. It was three weeks, give or take, before I was here."

"Did you and Nick have intimacy of that kind while you were sick?" Pav meant the past four weeks, while I'd been dealing with the grief, and didn't look surprised when I shook my head. "The test wouldn't work for anything after that so we can rule that out."

I nodded. I tried to do the maths but Jeremy was faster with his calendar.

"It's probably around nine or ten weeks along then."

"I've only been here ..." Six weeks? Seven? Today was the eleventh of February. Seven weeks, sort of.

"They usually count the weeks since your menstruation, whether there's been sex or not, so it adds a few weeks." Pav explained, squeezing my side. "He or she's probably about eight weeks old."

"I don't even look pregnant."

"Some women don't show for a while after. Can I feel?"

I nodded and let her feel, her fingers digging in, pressing, exploring it. It was probably time to tell Nick now.

"Can you get Nick before they drive off with him? Tell him to wait in the room?" My eyes went to Elena, and she nodded, slipping out the door.

Pav inhaled slowly as she found whatever it was she was looking for. She took my hand and pushed down in a spot.

There was a hard thing there. A lump. It was hidden but it was there all right.

I felt like I wanted to be sick again.

"You all right?" Jeremy moved closer.

"I thought the biggest shock today would be walking down the aisle." I muttered, laughed, and felt sick a little more. "Surprise!"

"Have you felt anything like nausea, or soreness in your chest, or anything else?"

"I threw up today. But that's it." My breasts, I realised, had filled out that dress pretty well for someone who'd lost a ton of weight too fast. I hadn't even thought about that, that they'd seemed to gain weight faster than the rest of me, so focused on everything else. "Do they get bigger _already_?"

I meant my chest, and she understood, and Pav nodded. I stared at them, making Jeremy clear his throat, and I decided to leave that for later.

"Are you all right?" Jeremy moved to sit on the other side. "With this?"

Yes. No. I shook my head, then nodded, then shrugged. "I...I'm actually not that bad. I think I'm more overwhelmed by today than this. But I have to tell Nick now. Um... I'll see you later today."

I found Nick where Elena had dragged him, his hair still wet from the shower, looking a little concerned as I shut the door behind us and locked it when I heard Paige call from downstairs. Looked like she'd arrived just in time to be shut out of the room. Elena's voice called Paiges and I sighed, relaxing. Turned to stare at Nick.

Movies did this so well. The pregnant woman would ask the man what he thought of a baby and he'd stumble and mutter and go 'let's talk about it in a few years' and there'd be fights, and then there might be a resolution.

I just blurted it out, leaned against the door, and waited. No point waiting months for him to do dramatic changes of mind while I got fat.

Nick stared at me like I was bonkers for a minute, as if he couldn't get it into his head, but then I saw the cogs starting to turn in his head slowly as he thought about this. Thought about all the unprotected sex we'd been having. His eyes even dropped to my chest for a moment.

"Have you had breakfast yet?"

That wasn't the reply I was expecting. "Huh?"

"If you're sure about this-"

"I am, yeah."

"-then you need to eat more. You're too skinny." He stood up and started to yank the clothing off, I let him, running his fingers along my stomach. Touching it. "How long, do you know?"

"Pav seemed to think it was nine or ten weeks along." At his sharp look up, probably thinking the same thing I'd said when I had reminded them I hadn't been here that long yet, I repeated her explanation. Nick relaxed.

"I was thinking _these_ looked good." He ran a hand along my breasts, stroking them, thumb over the sensitive nipple. "Didn't expect that. Is that why you threw up?"

"Maybe. Hang on." I wasn't quite sure how he was taking this okay. "You said you didn't want children."

"And you said you did want children." Nick blinked at me. "Don't you?"

"Well, yeah, but … you said you didn't."

"I didn't."

Paige's voice came from downstairs, calling, "Come on, Nick, we've got to hurry! She's got to dress!"

He checked to make sure the door was locked and tugged me over to sit on his lap on the chair beside the desk, hand running down from my breasts to my stomach again, running his thumb over it.

"I can't do the abortion thing. Not after..."

"I don't want you to." Nick shook his head. "It's okay. I was already getting used to the idea of Matt. I'm not upset. A bit stunned but not upset. Where's your belly?"

"Pav said it was too early to show much."

"Elena was already sticking out all over the place at this time." Nick leaned up to kiss my neck, brushing hair out of the way, tugging me closer against his chest. "I can't wait for that part."

"You can't wait till I'm fat and helpless?"

"Fat." He made a noise and nipped my neck at that. "I want you to gain weight. This baby will snap you in half if you don't get some muscle back. As for helpless, you didn't see Elena when she was pregnant, she got scary then. Hunted down some zombies while she was six months pregnant with the twins."

"Seriously? Zombies?"

"Mmhmm." He shook his head, staring back at my stomach, like he couldn't really believe it was happening still. "Dad is going to think I'm kidding when I tell him."

"He gave up a while ago?"

Nick laughed and nodded. We jumped when Paige's fist found our door, banging, again reminding him that we had to move. There was wedding on today, apparently.

"Nick, if you feel anything bad about this, be honest. Okay?" I stood up and went to tug on clothing again as he stood up behind me and went to the wardrobe for a bag and the suit bag.

"If I do, I will tell you. But right now I'm just stunned." He nodded, leaning over to kiss me, running fingers through my hair. "Same to you. Be honest."

"I'm stunned too." I admitted. He nodded, kissing my forehead, and let Paige in.

She shooed him out and I was chased into the shower.

Somehow the wedding wasn't such an intimidating thing now. I showered, meekly got into the robe Paige had left in the bathroom for me, let her do things to my hair and face, refused to let her put perfume on, and then got into the wedding dress and let them help me button it up the back. Pav's idea for covering my scars was pretty good, she'd somehow managed to locate a very simple silk jacket for a dress, the edges of it lined with the smallest amount of soft white fur, not covering the front but just the arms and back, and it matched enough the weather for it to almost look like it belonged with the dress.

I was sat down and flowers pinned into my hair, tiger lillies, in a little plait that was curled around, but most of my hair left loose and in that gentle curl thing again that Paige managed to create with the hair tong things. Pav stuck the veil up under the flowers. They dressed in their dresses, as they took turns helping me, their hair left long as well. We didn't really have time to do much for hair anyway.

I really did look like a bride. I stared at myself in the mirror, twisting around, gawking at the image.

"What do you think?" Paige asked, standing back.

I shook my head. Stared again. "I'm really getting married, aren't I?"

Pav laughed as she went to put on her own make up. "Yes."

Married _and_ a baby on the way. I shook my head, not sure if I could believe it, not sure if I wanted to. After all the shit from the past year it seemed like it was too good to be really happening. Though there were problems too. I wondered what the hell Nick would do now with his work in New York. Would he still do the 'three days there, two days here' work he planned on doing when Matt was here?

I'd have to talk with him about that tonight.

"Thirty minutes." Paige called, voice echoing throughout the upper house, as she hurried into the bathroom to get her own done, adding, "Elena, did you want help with your make up?"

Elena was staring at the box of it as blankly as I had. I had never seen her in a dress, never, and she looked drop dead gorgeous, the pale blue setting off her silver blonde hair perfectly. It'd been brushed. I didn't think she needed any of that stuff but she nodded. "If you've got time."

"I do. Jamie, how is Kate and Logan!" Paige called again, loudly, and I remembered that they were probably getting ready too.

She didn't need to hear Jamie's "Done!" because Kate came speeding into the bedroom the second she'd heard her name called. She was cute, golden blonde hair all over the place, a pair of pants under the dress as if she'd not really wanted to wear a dress but had put up with it. She already had her flowers though.

"Kate, those are meant to be in the fridge till we leave." Pav said, amused, but not seeming too worried.

"They're not _food_." Kate replied, crossing her arms.

"The fridge helps them stay pretty till we go." Logan informed her, following behind, as he stared at the three of us in the bedroom. He was much more taken with his mother in the dress than he was with me, his eyes widening at the sight of Elena. "Wow. You're really pretty."

She went a bit red and bent down to hug him close, and I was sure I saw a tear. Elena? Crying? Jamie came in as well and was quick with a camera, getting it.

"Hey." Logan backed up, staring at Jamie, his face going red.

"It's my job to get photos of this." She moved around, taking photos as we tried to finish, and I wasn't sure how good they'd be.

Jeremy's voice came from downstairs, calling Elena, and she hurried downstairs without bothering with the makeup after all.

"Have you had breakfast?" Jamie asked, suddenly, turning on me. Clearly Jeremy had spoken to her.

"Not yet."

"Go eat something while we can get away with it. Jeremy's orders, not mine. If I was you I wouldn't be hungry at all right now." She smiled apologetically.

I nodded and headed downstairs for the kitchen. There was food in the fridge, along with the flowers we were supposed to be carrying, the food already on plates for easy breakfasts. It was so organised. Mine was very clearly marked with a little post it note, even with the shake premixed.

While I was finishing it off I heard voices. Jeremy and Elena, their voices raised slightly, a kind of stress in the tone. I didn't want to eavesdrop but I was worried suddenly. So I followed the voices, making sure the shoes were loud on the ground, hearing them go quiet as they heard me coming.

"What's wrong?"

Neither of them spoke. Elena glanced at Jeremy and his head moved, just a fraction, a 'no.'

Now I knew something was going on.

"Nothing you need to worry about right now." Jeremy said, calmly, but there was something wrong in his face too. He was upset. He gazed at my wedding dress, slowly, face relaxing. "You look beautiful in that. Nick will love it."

"Is it Clayton?"

"No. He's fine. In fact, he's back now, came back just an hour ago and is with Nick." Elena spoke up, voice clear and strong and I knew she was telling the truth. I guessed, anyway, because if Nick was hurt then I wouldn't be able to speak that clearly.

"Please. I have no intention of hiding anything from you, Anne, but please don't ask any more questions until after the reception."

"Is someone hurt?"

Jeremy shook his head. I knew he wouldn't answer any more questions. He tried to change the subject. "I wanted to ask _you_ a question."

"What?"

"Can I give you away?"

I blinked at him and the man's cheeks went pink, just a fraction, like he was embarrassed to ask. I'd never seen Jeremy embarrassed before. "Give me away?"

"I know I'm not your father and I'm not a replacement for him or any of your family. But I would gladly be the one to give you away, on his behalf."

Various wedding movies and my sister's wedding flew into my head. She had been given away by Dad, some joke played when he'd pretended to shove her away instead of hand her over, and I'd wondered if he'd play the same joke on me one day. Only he wasn't going to be here.

Suddenly I wished he was. I wished he was there, to hold my arm, and keep me feeling like I had someone to lean on. Help me get through today. And he wasn't. I wanted to cry suddenly, so much, that I had to look down at my feet for a very long time and swallow it all back. It was not worth going through that make up thing again.

"I'm sorry if that upsets you."

"No. No, please do. Of course you can." I grabbed his arm, his hand. Come to think of it, he wasn't much older than my dad had been, and I wondered how I'd have explained that to Dad. Jeremy relaxed and stroked my hand. I was tempted to try again, ask what was wrong, but I didn't have time. The two hired cars were there suddenly, two old classic cars, and Paige was herding kids and Pav down the stairs informing us that apparently we were late and did everyone have their flowers already?

I was handed a huge amount of yellow-orange tiger lilies, wattle and eucalyptus leaves, arranged so it fell down the dress in a cascade that had to be at least two feet long at the longest part, only a second to admire it before I was in the car and the train tucked in behind me.

"Here we go." I muttered. My heart hammered faster, Jeremy's arm on mine, and we took off.

The hall itself wasn't that fancy. There were photographers waiting in the snow and a car park nearby with some familiar cars, the only sign it was the right place, and the cameras were going off as soon as we were out of the car. Pav, as the maid of honour, was the one to help get my dress under control somewhat on the carpet that protected it from the snow, while the rest got ready to go in the right order.

Wasn't I supposed to do some special walk thing? Didn't people rehearse this? God. I wasn't even sure if I was supposed to walk fast or slow or at a special pace. What about vows? Did I just repeat them or was I supposed to have memorised them? Shoppers gawked openly at me, pointing, the small town apparently bored enough to find a stranger's wedding interesting.

"Relax." Jeremy whispered, as he felt my body tense. "We're right here."

I nodded and swallowed as much of the anxiety down as I could. We made our way inside and waited at the end. I watched Elena go, with Kate and Logan right ahead of her, Jamie slipping into a seat inside, performance anxiety starting to rear again, Paige going behind her in an awkward loping walk I wondered if I had to copy, then Pav...

I _really_ wanted to throw up then and I doubted it had anything to do with being pregnant. Not only that, but suddenly Nick's bad joke was funny and I wanted to laugh. Laugh and vomit. That'd be _great_ for the photos.

Jeremy squeezed my arm and we started forward, slowly. People turned to look at me, eyes staring at me, my heart in my throat at the sense of being stared at. I didn't know half of them. Who were they? Was this even my wedding? I caught sight of Nick and focused on him like a lifeline, the attention overwhelming, following Jeremy's pace.

He was actually _crying_. Well, not crying, but his eyes were shiny and damp, and he was staring at me like he'd never seen me before, like he'd just fallen in love with me all over again. Clayton was actually patting his back. My cheeks went bright red but I had to admit, the sight of him in that suit, hair neat, his eyes wet, it had an effect on me as well. My own tears pricked out as I came closer, making him blink and grin, and I wondered if I'd imagined the tears after all.

He stood under an arch covered in marigolds. That was probably Pav's idea, I suspected, reminding me of India. The chairs everyone sat on looked fancy, covered in fabric, but several showed the tell tail plastic legs that a cheaper chair would have. And clearly the reception was just through the door over there, the one covered in flowers, because I could already smell the first scent of food drifting from somewhere in that direction. Nothing too fancy, nothing over the top, just a normal little room beside a larger hall modified for a wedding. It was so down to earth that I could relax a tiny bit more.

Finally I made it to his side and Jeremy put my hand in Nick's hand. I grasped it, he squeezed it, trying to reassure me. Suddenly I didn't care who was here, or why, because the only thing I was here for was Nick. They were here for the party, I was here for the vows.

He leaned forward to kiss me, only to get whacked in the back of the head by Clayton.

"That part comes after." Clayton said, shaking his head, yanking Nick back by the curls.

The minister, or I assumed he was that, cleared his throat and we tried to stop grinning at each other long enough to look at him.

"We have come together to unite Elizabeth and Nicholas, otherwise known as Anne and Nick, in marriage, which is an institution ordained by the state and made honourable by the faithful keeping of good men and women in all ages, and is not to be entered into lightly or unadvisedly."

The two names sounded kind of odd, together like that, the formal version.

"At this time we would like to take a moment to remember Anne's family who aren't here to celebrate with us. We will always remember them and we know that they are celebrating with us in spirit. The memories of these beautiful people live on in our hearts today."

I swallowed, as Nick's hands grasped mine the slightest bit tighter, warm brown focusing on mine as I understood that was for my family. My mum would be bawling her eyes out, probably, and probably my dad as well. He'd done that for my sister's wedding. My sister would suspect I was pregnant and, surprise, surprise, she'd be right, though that wasn't the reason we were here. I wished they could see this. I wanted to cry so much and the tears leaked down my cheeks again of their own will. I hoped Paige used waterproof stuff.

The minister paused as Clayton yanked Nick's head backwards again, as it came dangerously close to another kiss, shaking his head slightly with a small smile.

"There are two types of family. One you are born into and the other is chosen. Here today, both types of family have gathered to celebrate the union of Anne and Nick and to join together both families. Who here stands beside Anne, and gives their blessing to this union?"

I heard Jeremy stand up, though I couldn't bare to look around again, keeping my focus on Nick. "I do, on behalf of her family."

"Anne and Nick, as you start this new journey together as a family, it's important to remember that within its framework of commitment and loyalty, marriage enables the establishment of a home, where through trust, patience and respect, the love and affection which you have for each other may develop into a deep and lasting relationship. As Anne and Nick exchange their vows to each other today, they invite you to join hands with the person you love and reaffirm to each other your own vows."

There was a pause, as there was a shuffle while Clayton moved around to grab Elena's hand, someone moving up to grasp Paige's hand. I wished I had got Vi for Pav.

When everyone was settled once more, the minister got down to the real stuff.

"Do you, Nick, take Anne to be your wife, to love, honor, comfort, and cherish from this day forth?"

Nick nodded, grinning, head swaying forward as if he was tempted to try again now Clayton was distracted. Instead, he said, his voice a little lower than usual, a little huskier, "I do." He swallowed hard, grin widening, though there was that dampness again. I wanted to kiss _him_ now. It was taking all my willpower to wait for the right moment. Making out mid vow was not probably a good idea.

"Do you, Anne, take Nick to be your husband, to love, honor, comfort and cherish from this day forth?"

"I do." My voice sounded so calm and I couldn't figure out how I'd done it. I squeezed his hands hard, getting one in return, his fingers stroking against mine gently.

"Will everyone please rise?"

I heard people rising and wondered if this was it, if this was the kiss part. I hoped so.

"You have all been chosen to be here because you are Anne and Nick's family, either by birth or by choice. Do you, as are Anne and Nick's family, promise to support and encourage their marriage?"

This was a new one, one I'd never heard in a wedding before, but it seemed to suit the pack so well. Family. They were always about their own family and now it was mine.

" We do."

"You may now be seated"

There was the sound of chairs moving as whoever was out there watching sat down again.

I saw Kate and Logan being pushed forward, each carrying something so carefully in their hands, pushing up so they could stand right against us, Kate already holding up one of the little pillows with a ring on it. Clearly they had been told about this part.

"A circle is a symbol of eternity. Hold on, sweetie." He glanced down at Kate, who was shoving it up at Nick, waiting to do her duty of delivering him the very important thing. "It has no true beginning and it never ends. It always comes back to where it started. It's only fitting then, that it is a symbol of Anne and Nick's love for each other. _Now_ you can give the ring to Nick."

Nick took the ring from her, and she backed up, looking pleased. He took my hand and repeated the words, "Anne, with this ring I thee wed."

I took the ring from Logan, who moved back to Kate and Jeremy. It was gold, just a plain gold band, but it meant a hell of a lot. As I pushed it onto his finger I said, softly, "Nick, with this ring I thee wed."

Now was it time to kiss? I blinked as something else came out then. A long thin rope?

"If you would now clasp your partner's right hand with your right hand, and their left hand with your left hand..."

We did so, and I glanced at Nick, who mouthed the words 'strings attached' and winked.

"These are the hands of your best friend. Today, your wedding day, they are holding yours, as you promise to love and cherish each other forever. These are the hands that will work beside you as you build your future. These are the hands that will love you passionately and will comfort you with the slightest touch. These are the hands that will hold you and comfort you in times of fear or need. These are the hands that will give you strength and support when you can't do it alone. These are the hands that will always reach out for you with tenderness and love. May these hands continue to build a loving relationship to last a lifetime."

As he spoke, he gently wrapped our hands together loosely with the rope, tying them up.

"Remember that each day is a journey. Sometimes the path is uphill, sometimes it's smooth and flat Enjoy the scenery. It's a journey that no two people have ever travelled before. With your newly joined family at your side, it's sure to be a wonderful adventure."

The rope was tied and left to dangle there, between us, our left hands bound up.

"Anne and Nick, you have declared to each other, and all of us here, that you will live together as husband and wife. You have given and received a ring to use as a daily reminder of those promises to each other. Having made those promises, I do now, by the authority vested in me by the state of New York, pronounce you to be husband and wife. Nick, You may _now_ kiss your bride."

Nick moved forward quickly, lips finding mine, and we kissed, ignoring the applause, ignoring the laughter at his speed, it was just the two of us. Bound up and official. He lifted our hands, so that he could stroke my face, and I grasped at his, until there was a small cough from where Clayton was and an amused 'We're hungry too, ya know, come on.' so soft that I doubted anyone but us heard it. So we parted and Nick winked.

"Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Nicholas Sorrentino."

I finally turned to face who was there, Nick's hand grasping mine in the rope. A number of people were there I didn't know but mostly, I knew them. Reece, Danielle, Morgan, Noah, Antonio behind Nick still, Jeremy and Jamie, Hope was there without her baby, Melissa near a group of people who I assumed were the woman's day crew, another werewolf I could tell by scent but not recognise, and Sara. My sister's best friend, sitting there, crying. Beside her were eight empty seats, with a photo on the back of each one, of my parents, my sister and her children. I wasn't sure who'd invited her but I was so glad to see her there and when I saw the photos I did start to cry then, tears that were both happy and sad. The handful of strangers that remained no longer bothered me. It wasn't a large amount of people and it felt safe, intimate, protected.

"If people would like to move to the other room, we'll allow these two to sign." The minister said, guesting towards a door covered in marigolds, where I could smell the faint smell of food starting to drift through from a kitchen somewhere.

They shuffled out and we were directed into a smaller room where papers and things were set up, Clayton, Antonio and Elena following, Melissa quick to come in and introduce herself as my lawyer who would assist with the legal side of the visa if required. A photographer, I assumed, also followed.

It was a beautiful setting, a little old office I suspected was a real office usually, but I was glad when the forms were done and we could put them aside. Then we were headed into the larger hall where everyone was waiting. They clapped again, much to my embarrassment, and Nick squeezed my hand. We took a seat and out came the food.

I felt a little sorry for the humans suddenly, the few of them in the room, even Melissa looked a bit taken back. There was _a lot_ of food in the back room waiting to be served out. When I wondered about waste, and asked Nick, he laughed and informed me that they'd been instructed to deliver left overs to Stonehaven. I guessed Jeremy couldn't resist having a little supply of fancy food in his freezers just in case. Food was the primary goal right now, and a little bit of dancing and chatting, people swapping and shifting chairs so much that I suspected that Nick had been right about how seating really didn't matter all that much. The few humans and Sara almost looked left out until Reece took it upon himself to help out the poor isolated Australian and dance with her. Danielle looked furious at that, absolutely furious, and I watched as she separated and approached one of the reporters, a young man, as if she was a wolf hunting prey.

The room itself was beautiful too. It had the same cheap plastic chairs covered in fabric, red, orange and yellow flowers against the windows out into the snowy garden outside, arrangements also on each table, except for Kate's table which was distinctly more colourful and mixed with shapes and sizes she'd wanted. Marigolds lined the table's centrepieces in a circle and were along the edge of our table. We had no DJ, exactly, but it was set up so that people could go up and choose music from hundreds of thousands of online songs, adding their choice to a playlist, which meant that all the music was so mixed that it was hard to keep up with sometimes. But it made it personal and I liked that, even if some of the songs made me want to cringe.

Nick and I didn't talk much, too busy eating, but we kept touching each other, hands holding the others, stealing each other's food, and when I got wine, he was quick to yank it over to his side and tell them to get me water. Clearly he knew something about alcohol being bad for babies.

It was the smell of the french onion soup that suddenly had me leaving, heading for the bathroom, bringing up every single course they'd served before that. It smelt foul. Awful. Was it rotton? I actually had to hang back until that course was done and it was made worse by the fact that no one else seemed to mind the smell at all. Maybe that was a pregnancy thing? I didn't know, I didn't generally eat onions anyway, I figured I'd ask Jeremy or Elena about it later.

Nick came to find me when I didn't return and he found me sitting in the room we'd gotten married in, waiting out the onion soup, attempting to not vomit again. On the bright side though, I had room for the next thing, so it wasn't all bad.

"How are you feeling?" Nick slid into the seat beside me.

"Hungry." I muttered. "That soup smells awful."

"Tasted pretty good to me." He leaned over to kiss me and the smell of his mouth sent me all the way back to the bathroom.

When I came back he seemed to understand suddenly, heading off to find Clayton. When he returned his breath smelt like mints and he offered them to me.

"Thanks."

"No onions then from now on?"

"Not even a _little_ one. Funny that the first thing comes the day we find out, hm."

"We'll find out what else happens from Elena. She's been through this pregnancy thing before."

We heard him before we saw him.

"What's this about Elena and pregnancy?" Clayton's easy drawl came from behind us as he closed one hand on Nick's shoulder, the other on mine. "Thinking about trying for a kid after all?

"We are having a kid." Nick said, gazing back up at him, his voice soft. The music covered it enough to keep us safe from other prying ears.

Clayton stared at him for a good thirty seconds, as if waiting for Nick to go 'just kidding!', he shook his head and slid a chair over to sit between us. "Trying or succeeded?"

"I think we succeeded around Christmas." I spoke up, softly, "I just didn't find it out till this morning." I glanced back to see Elena not far behind Clayton. The two of them had snuck out of the bathroom, her hair a little ruffled, dress a little more crinkled. She grinned at me and reached up to try and calm her hair down with her fingers.

Clayton slapped Nick's back so hard that Nick almost fell, and NIck slapped back, laughter coming from Clayton. "Shit, Nick, I thought you'd never manage that. Can't say I'm not pleased though."

"You can teach him all you know." Elena commented as she moved to sit on my other side.

"We have to keep it quiet for a bit longer though." I said, softly, and she nodded.

"Why?" Nick blinked, looking from me to Elena, as he didn't get that.

"It won't help the fact that she's already targeted." Elena said, softly. "It'll put the baby at risk too. So hush."

Nick nodded and went quiet, before, "My father will probably notice though."

"Nothing wrong with telling him."

Elena opened her mouth and shut it again as I stood up.

"Sorry. I smell food and I'm really hungry." I moved past them into the larger hall, careful to not trip on the wedding dress, sliding back into the seat just as they took the soup away and put something much better smelling in its place.

Luckily nothing else caused stomach upheavals and Nick, Elena and Clayton came back in after another couple of minutes. Nick looked a bit paler though, and when he sat next to me, he was a bit stiffer. A bit tenser.

I reached out to grasp his hand and he held it, squeezing it a bit harder than usual, making me wonder what they'd told him. Secrets of babies? Pregnancy scare stories? I had no clue.

"You all right?" I whispered and he nodded, slowly.

"I'm all right." He left it at that and I had to let him decide how much to share.

Dancing seemed to lift his mood again though, as our lunch finally ended, everyone up to try and grab everyone else. Sara came over to hug me and tell me that she was glad I was happy, that everyone would have loved to see that, but she was exhausted and had to go sleep. Jet lag was not helping her.

Photos then, as a light snowfall began, and we were all hurried outside to pose in the snow. It was serious at first, the photography, but as people got restless and a little colder, the photographer started to play around and get our energy back up.

I was exhausted by the time it was over and the cake hadn't even come out yet. I even fell asleep on Nick's shoulder, on the side, until he gently woke me and told me it was time to cut the cake. Elena was quick to help re-pin and fix stuff that'd come out of place during the nap.

The cake was incredible. Smooth, white, in several high layers, more than enough to take home afterwords as well. It had just delicate details on it, little ivory leaves and what looked like real frangipanis and tiger lillies until we got closer and found out that they were actually suger. We cut it with a sword, to my amazement, one that was about as long as the distance from my wrist to my elbow. As we cut we found that the bottom layers were different flavour cakes but the top layer, the small one for us, was cheesecake. I took the slice and we fed each other, carefully, ignoring the suggestions from someone to slam it in each other's face. It was more significant to us to share each other's food, a sign that we trusted and cared for each other as wolves as well as humans.

After, we headed off, leaving them to celebrate. We were both exhausted, Nick's shoulder hurting, I was just about ready to pass out again, so Antonio took us home.

We didn't go to Stonehaven. We went to the new house and found the entire bedroom had been somehow set up in the past day. The bed was there, a mattress, a new bedspread, a small sofa in the corner, and rugs across the ground warming it up. Antonio left us alone upstairs, staying downstairs and saying something about how he was going to chop wood outside, and we made quick work of getting suits and dresses and other things off.

Nick was laying on the bed waiting for me when his face drained a little. I turned to look at him as I carefully slid the wedding dress over the sofa and found his eyes locked on my stomach.

"What's wrong?"

"I can see it now."

I followed his stare down and saw that he was right. My stomach was full of food and apparently it'd done something to push that hard lump out a bit. I might have mistaken it for gas another time, just being bloated, but now that I knew what was there it was impossible to mistake it for anything except what it was. I went to the mirror nearby, ignoring my nakedness and focusing on it.

It was there all right.

Nick came to join me, one hand joining mine as he tentatively touched it. The second he did, he withdrew his hand, like my stomach had burnt him. "You wanted me to be honest, yeah?" Nick asked, suddenly, stepping back a fraction.

"Always."

"I don't know if I can do this." At the look on my face he hurried on, "I mean, Clayton and Elena were talking to me about it. To be careful with you, to not be too rough during sex, that we might need to stop having sex altogether till after the baby and then we might have to wait, and ..."

"You just want sex?"

"No, I just... I just don't know if it's a good time for us. You're being chased around by some mutt who thinks he's powerful, Matt will need you, we're not even really settled in this home yet, and this will change our entire life. A baby will change everything."

"Marriage wouldn't?" I was starting to feel angry, rage building, my breathing a little faster. "You think it wouldn't change my life? Or my body? That I enjoyed throwing up everything at the smell of onions or enjoy the idea of my body being opened up as wide as ...well, wide?" I couldn't think of something to describe, too angry, so I just went over it.

"That's what I mean. We're young. We could wait a while. Wait till Matt is settled in, till those mutts are dealt with, then we can try for a real baby. If you want a baby, I can try, but it's too soon." He was really uncomfortable as he said this, as if he knew how bad it sounded, but Nick was clearly just as uncomfortable with the reality. "A few years..."

"Nick, I'm pregnant right now. With a real baby. It can't just be put back on the shelf for a few years like a book you get bored with."

"You don't have to be. It's still so early, not even really a fetus, it wouldn't be hard to ...well, just wait. It's not a good time and it wouldn't be fair to a baby either. Or to Matt. He'll need you all the time when you find him."

My teeth clenched as he said that, so hard that I had to release them, crossing my arms. He was suggesting i abort the baby. Because it was a bad time for him. Some smaller voice was trying to agree, trying to remind me that I wanted him to be honest about his feelings even if I didn't like them, but the anger overwhelmed that voice. After all I'd lost, I wasn't going to kill a baby, even it wasn't 'really a fetus' yet. I was already yanking clothing on as fast as I could, not bothering to worry about what was warm or not, deciding that I'd spend the night at Stonehaven. So what if we'd just got married? Why couldn't he say this tomorrow night and not ruin the day with this?

"Anne, please, don't be angry." He was reaching out now, hand trying to find mine, and I yanked my hand out of his reach. "I'm trying to be honest about how I feel about this."

I hurried down the stairs, past a surprised looking Antonio, who glanced up at where Nick was standing still naked. I didn't pause to explain. I was pissed off and I suddenly understood why what I'd said to Reece was completely wrong. Sometimes honesty needed to wait for a good time. I went for a car, swearing as I saw it was a manual. Bloody Americans. They had this obsession with those sticks.

"Get in." Antonio ordered, moving me as he slid in, glancing at where Nick was trying to tug pants on and chase me at the same time. "We'll be back soon, Nick."

"No we won't." I muttered, climbing into the passenger side.

We took off, Nick watching behind us, a striken look on his face.

"What did my son say?"

"He said he wasn't ready for a baby and I should just try for a real baby in a few years."

Antonio wasn't driving fast, I noticed, but he still got out onto the road and glanced sideways at me. "You wanted to get pregnant?"

"I'm already pregnant. He's a little late deciding he didn't want one now." I muttered and snatched for the door as the car suddenly served, Antonio reacting more than anyone else, his body twitching as if someone had just kicked him up the behind.

"You're pregnant? How long?"

"Nine or ten weeks, Jeremy and Pav thought. Nick saw the bump after I ate too much and he changed his mind." I hit the seat beside my thigh, rage still throbbing in me, wanting to hit something hard. "I mean, why today? Now? Why not be honest tomorrow?"

"Can I see it?" Antonio slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road. His hands were trembling slightly, his face openly taken back, but he didn't seem to be agreeing with Nick either. He was just staring at me like he'd never seen me before.

I lifted up my shirt and slid the pants down, just enough, showing it. "I think it's showing because my stomach's full."

"Nick's mother showed like that too, at first, she ate a bit more or had a full bladder and it'd pop out for a while." He said, his hand reaching out, fingers touching it. Antonio blinked, as if he'd remembered he was supposed to ask. "Sorry. It's just, I never expected to see that."

"You can touch. You don't agree with him?"

"I think ...he's brave to speak his mind right now." His lips twitched slightly, as he smiled, fingers coming down again with more confidence as he touched my stomach. Then he pulled away. "He did make it clear he didn't want a baby."

"He's more than old enough to know what unprotected sex can make." I muttered, crossing my arms.

"He _is_ old enough." Antonio agreed. He pulled the car back onto the road and resumed driving as he added, "Congratulations. I hope."

We sat there a while before I said, softer, "I can't abort it."

Antonio nodded and after a while, slowly, carefully, "I heard that for some men, becoming a father happens when they see the baby. For women, it starts as soon as they find out they're pregnant. I was in love with Nick the second I knew she was pregnant but I was a little different with women at the time."

"That was when women weren't around?"

"Women had two uses back then, babies and lust. But I loved his mother. I still do." He glanced away to the side of the road ahead of his, hands tightening on the wheel. "I had to run away with her when she was pregnant to make sure she was safe. I was going to stay with her but I was afraid for Nick when he was born. I thought that he'd need the pack and I had to make the choice for him. I thought it was right at first, when he was friends with Clayton, but when I saw how he went through women, I wondered if I had been wrong. It was too late by then."

"He never seems upset about that part though. About loving women."

Antonio nodded slowly. "True but sometimes I wondered if it was something else he was looking for. I was glad to see he'd settled down with you. It was a long time for him to find you."

"Now he wants me to get rid of the baby. I can't do that." I felt it as the lump seemed to be reducing itself. My stomach had to be working pretty fast then. "I think I'm already her mother. His mother. Whatever it is."

"I can't speak for him. All I can say is, as its grandparent, I'm a little overjoyed." Antonio smiled wider, reaching over to squeeze my hand. "I get a daughter in law and a grandchild in the same day. A year ago, I assumed that there was no chance for either."

"I'm glad you're happy. I never knew my grandparents. I always wanted my kids to know theirs..." And he was the only one left, already. "I'm exhausted, could you drop me off at Stonehaven? I don't want to see Nick right now."

"I can't, I'm sorry. We're not allowed to be on our own for long. We have to go back. But you can sleep in a different room or downstairs." He turned the car around slowly and we started to wind back along the road.

Smoke was pouring up off something ahead. It took me a fraction of a second longer than Antonio to understand, because he was already suddenly speeding, hands white on the wheel, before I understood where it was.

Something in the house was on fire. We could see it as we wound through the driveway, trying to get there, finding that Nick was lying on the ground outside with a blow to the head. He was still breathing, still fine, but the red of blood dripped from a cut on his head into the snow under him. Antonio checked him, his face draining of blood at the sight, but he glanced at me.

"He's all right. Stay with him."

"What? Where are you going?" I knelt down beside Nick, brushing the snow off his face, any rage at him fading into a fresh wave of fear for him.

Antonio didn't answer. He yanked the jacket off his suit, dunking it in the snow, getting it as wet as he possibly could and before I could make a grab for him, he was going back inside the house. The side of the house, one window filled with the flames, had smoke rising high off it as it tried to tear through every last flammable material. I knelt there, legs weak, fear at the sight.

"Where's Dad?" Nick's voice made me jump and I stared down to see him cringing, rubbing his head, sitting up slowly.

"He went inside."

Nick stood up then, fast, but his groggy head made him fall back down again with a curse. He went to try again but he didn't need to- Antonio was coming back out, coughing, with a small body in his arms.

It was Matt.

I didn't understand, didn't know what was going on, but I knew it was Matt. He had his mother's strawberry red hair and he had her nose, obvious even with the blackness on his face, wrapped up in Antonio's wet jacket as Antonio bent low over him.

"How-"

"Clayton." Nick said, cringing as the words hurt his head, trying to stand up again. "Got him. Brought him back today."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Antonio went to answer but paused, coughing, sliding down to sit in the snow beside us with Matt still in his arms. Nick rubbed his back as I went closer to check on Matt. He was all right. He was asleep, it looked like, and when I opened up his jacket I found his arms and legs were loosely restrained. I frowned.

"No..." Nick pushed at my hands when I went to undo it. "Not a good idea."

"Why not? He's ..."

"Smell him." Antonio managed to say, moving to tug his glove off and take a handful of snow, swallowing it. It seemed to help him speak. "Anne, smell him."

"Smell-" I blinked. My nostrils were full of smoke and werewolf. And of Matt.

He was like Antonio, like Nick I smelt it, my instincts accepting it, but my human mind couldn't. What the hell? That was impossible. He had a human father.

"I don't understand."

"Nick, help me. I think we can stop the fire." Antonio coughed again, struggling to speak, and he got to his feet. Nick hurried in after him, I wanted to hit them both but they were gone, but the flames vanished only after a few minutes. The fire looked worse than it'd seemed.

They came back out, both panting, tossing something that resembled a warped metal bucket into the snow. It was half melted and covered in foam, I assumed from the little red thing I'd seen briefly in the kitchen and paid no attention to for ages.

"There was a bucket in the kitchen with oil on fire. Luckily, most of the kitchen is designed to be as inflammable as possible, so it only got to the window frame and curtain before the oil was burnt out completely. It didn't take much to get it out." Antonio told me, as he breathed in and out hard, shaking his head. "Someone was trying to get something worse started. We've got to get back to Jeremy."

I stood up, still not understanding my nephew's smell, but lifted him up carefully and followed them to the car. Nick seemed to be coming back to life now, not looking at me, his attention on Matt. He didn't seem shocked to see him. Neither did Antonio. How long had he been here? Antonio got into the back seat with Matt and I followed, sliding in beside, refusing to leave the kid. Nick got in the front seat and started up, as he tugged the phone onto one ear.

Whatever he said to Jeremy, I didn't hear, I didn't take in. All I cared about was Matt. He was breathing okay, his skin wasn't burnt, but he was naked for some reason. And he was sleeping so calmly. There was a little wound on his arm which suggested he'd had a needle in there recently. He looked older than I remembered too. He was five when I'd left. Maybe he was six now? I couldn't remember his birthday. It had never needed to be remembered- it would be there, this reminder, this sudden party. It was during winter though.

"Dad." Nick called from the front, slowing the car. "Look."

We looked. Smoke was rising from another place now too. Nick swore and sped, the car flying along the slippery roads, nearly loosing control several times until Antonio told him to slow down. The driveway was open, the gates literally knocked off, and the smell of smoke grew stronger as we got closer.

Stonehaven was on fire.

Nick was sliding out of the car the second it stopped, running for the house, ignoring Antonio and my yells for him to get back. He was already in the house, smoke pouring out the door frame, and gone.

"Don't untie him." Antonio ordered, as he slid out, coughing and running after Nick.

The roar and size of the flames terrified me, so loud, so massive, flames leaping up high into the air as they consumed the roof. I wanted to go after them, but I sat there in the car, one hand on Matt as he breathed in and out slowly, trembling.

They were taking too long. I didn't like it.

I slid out of the car and went for the door, ducking back as a wave of burning smoke suddenly filled my lungs, backing up a metre. Fear of the fire was battling with fear for Nick and Antonio, the two of them raging, until I had the strength to try again, go for the door again, dropping low. What had I been told as a kid? To escape a fire, stay low, feel the door to see if it was hot on the other side, and don't panic. It hadn't included that for going into one but I wasn't going to be fussy. It seemed to help- lower down, there was less smoke, and I could breathe a little more.

The study door was hot. I left it alone, panic thumping in my heart, struggling to breathe as I crawled along the ground. The fire was so loud, so overwhelming, smoke filling my sensitive nose, hiding any scent left behind by Nick or Antonio. Where were they? The ground was hot too. I couldn't move fast at all, just a slow crawl, trying to see beyond dark shapes of furniture and flames. The best way to figure out where I was by touching the wall, and I traced across it, breathing hard into my shirt, trying to keep as much out as I could.

Hands grabbed my legs and yanked me backwards, hard, dragging me as someone crawled backwards. I twisted around to see Clayton, his face covered by fabric, dragging me out. It was almost impossible to yank his hands off my legs, they were clawing in, and the second we were out of the house he yanked me up onto my feet.

"Nick, Antonio. Inside." I was coughing, hard, my lungs hurting, though it wasn't too bad, just irritating. "They went in."

Clayton glanced at the house and frowned. "Stay put." He was moving for the door again, ducking low, covering his mouth with the shirt.

A hand grabbed my shoulder and Jeremy yanked me backwards. He was shaking as he stared at his home, stared at the fire, stared at where Clayton had gone. I started to shake too, teeth chattering, coughing, a sudden chill coming over me. He blinked, stared at me like he'd remembered I was there, and called for someone to bring a blanket and water.

"Relax. It's okay." Pav was the one waiting, her voice calm, but she knew it wasn't okay. She held me down and made me cough, the blanket keeping me warm, giving me a bottle of water when I was able to drink.

Then they were back again, Antonio coughing harder, Nick limp over Clayton's arm.

"He hit his head." Antonio said, as I shot up, panic flooding every inch of my body. "It's okay. He charged straight into the wall." He turned to Jeremy, accepting the water from Pav, shaking his head. "The basement was on fire. Everything was. I couldn't get to Nathan."

Nathan? It took me a while to understand who that was, the name, but eventually... it was the teenager we'd brought back. The kid Jeremy hadn't wanted to hurt.

"Clayton, Elena, do you think you can check the ground around the house for scents with this smoke?" Jeremy turned to Clayton, who was with Elena, his arms wrapped around her neck. "The fire department will be here soon."

"We'll try." Elena dunked a couple of blankets in the snow, getting them soggy, threw one to Clayton and moved away one side with Clayton on the other. The blankets, I realised, were probably to try and avoid the heat that was pouring off the burning house.

"You all right?" Antonio asked, moving closer to Jeremy, as he seemed to find breathing a bit easier as the minutes went on.

Jeremy shook his head. He was still staring at the fire, his face pale, like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Antonio had the same expression and the two of them watched it, both shaking, faces pale, Antonio's face streaked with black. They jumped when part of the roof caved in, suddenly, collapsing into what was originally Jeremy's bedroom. Huge flames leapt up from the house, almost as high as the house itself, dancing into the sky, the black smoke pouring up.

Their home, their haven, it was gone.

"It's them. I don't know how, but it's some mutt, looks like he torched the place and drove off." Clayton came back, shaking his head. "Didn't even wait to see the damage."

"The other house had a fire too but it didn't catch." Antonio said, squeezing Jeremy's arm. "We can use it."

Jeremy didn't answer. He seemed to be unable to speak. He just stood there, staring at it, face drained of blood.

"We better get back." Elena said, finally, stepping over and taking Jeremy's shoulders. He didn't resist when she pulled him backwards. "Come on. They're coming."

The siren was coming, we could hear it, and we all moved back, Antonio remembering to shut the door of his car so that they didn't see Matt there. Pav moved up to take Jeremy's hand, checking him, before directing Elena to sit him in the warm car and wrap a blanket around him. Jeremy let himself be led away, his arms shaking, shock all over his face.

The fire truck was there, the fire fighters moving out, trying to keep the blaze from spreading. We had to back up further, letting them take over, letting them do their jobs.

"We should get to the other house. Check Nick, and keep Jeremy warm." Antonio said softly. His voice was trembling as well but he managed to keep steady.

I moved to the car and went to slide into the seat beside Jeremy. It was crowded now, Matt was on one part, Nick in the front seat rubbing his head, and Jeremy sitting there with, his head in his hands. Matt had been gently placed on one of the seats further back, a blanket around him again. Jeremy moved over when I came in and when I hugged him, he seemed to accept it, leaning against me. Clayton was soon joining us as well, squeezing in on Jeremy's other side.

"That home has been home to the pack for so long." He said, finally, his voice soft and shaking. "So long."

"They're trying to make us think we're destroyed. Finished. It's just a house, Jere. Just a house. This is still our home."

Nick twisting back. He glanced at me, as if he wanted to say something or do something, but hesitated. "What about the book?"

Clayton growled. He was so angry but he was keeping all of his attention on Jeremy, his love for the older man obvious. "The book doesn't matter either. We don't need that."

"We've got it." Jeremy blinked, slowly, and looked up.

"What?"

"I was going to bring it to the other house and have Anne write her name in beside Nick's name. It's in that bag." Jeremy gestured to the bag behind the driver's seat. Some colour had returned to his face, just a fraction. Clayton seemed to relax slightly too.

"So all we've lost is a house and some stuff. We've still got the land and the book and we can rebuild."

"We can rebuild." Jeremy nodded, slowly, as some energy came back to his voice. He turned to watch the house burn out the window, water pouring onto it from the truck, like he couldn't believe what he was seeing even now. "The poor teenager didn't make it out."

"Maybe they took him. Maybe not. You were willing to help him and that's more than I'd have done." Clayton turned on me then, suddenly, voice getting hard. "You need to think about what's in you before you barge in to burning houses."

"She did wha-" Nick started but was cut off, as Clayton turned on him.

"And _you_ need to think about what's in _her_ before you go barging into houses. Antonio told us who went in first."

"I didn't want to leave Nathan there." He grimaced at Clayton's expression at that. "He wasn't that bad, Clay, just an idiot who had the wrong idol. What were you doing in there?" He turned on me, suddenly, eyes boring into me.

"Saving you. Idiot. No kid should grow up only knowing one of their parents if they could have two." I crossed my arms. He paled at my words, staring at me. I added, voice trying to harden like Clayton's had, though it didn't work as well, "I'm having the baby, no matter how scared you are. I'm scared too but the best things are scary at first."

"Huh?" Clayton stared at me and then Nick.

"Nick didn't want the baby." I muttered at Clayton's confused mutter.

Clayton blinked at Nick as if he didn't understand that.

"What baby?" Nick stared at me blankly, reaching up to rub his head, cringing. "Matt's not a baby."

Huh? At my expression, Nick laughed, coughing, and swung around to get into the back seat with the three of us, finding a way to somehow sit between my legs in the gap there. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I haven't forgotten. Bad time for jokes, I guess. All right. We'll try it. Just don't expect me to be an expert."

Clayton kicked him, relieving me of the need, and he shook his head. Relaxed.

We returned our attention to the fire, Elena talking with the fire fighters, taking over for Jeremy. He didn't seem to mind, in fact, he seemed relieved she could. He was looking better now but still seemed shocked. My hand was holding his hand, while Clayton stayed beside him, and Nick settled down between my legs in the gap, resting against my knee as he stared up out of the window. My free hand reached down to find his one, squeezing it, relief flooding me as I realised we'd escaped it. Our first fight.

When it got dark, we decided we had to get back to the other house and keep warm, so the two cars were bundled up, an address given to the fire fighter in charge, and we made our way back slowly. Matt didn't wake, Pav carefully injected him with something again, and when I asked why she hesitated and looked at Jeremy.

"I'll explain later." He answered, glancing at the child, his eyes darting to Clayton and back to Matt. Clayton had been surprisingly protective of Matt, hovering around him, keeping an eye on him. I guessed it was because Matt was roughly the same age as Logan and Kate.

The kitchen in the other house, which was apparently called Forestwatch, was pretty bad looking too. I helped cover up the gap the window had caused with plastic and duct tape, as Pav and Elena went around somehow getting enough beds and bedding for everyone, the twins coming an hour later and taken up to one of the spare bedrooms that they'd have to share with their parents. We took one look at the size of it, and the amount of them, and Nick agreed with me that they should take the bigger bedroom we were in. We didn't need that much space and they did.

When I asked where Matt would go, Jeremy frowned and glanced down. Towards the basement.

"There's a cage down there now, isn't there?"

"It's a little better than ...well, it's not too bad. But yes. I'm afraid we need to keep him somewhere he won't hurt himself if he wakes. I'll be sleeping down there." Jeremy seemed apologetic.

"Why didn't you tell me about him?"

"He's not well. Did you smell him?" Jeremy hesitated again. There was something wrong and he didn't seem to want to tell me.

"Yeah." He smelt like wolf too. But I didn't think his father was a werewolf. "I don't understand."

"I'll tell you more in the morning when I can. I really need to rest tonight and so do you." He leaned over to hug me, and I couldn't press him any more, he really seemed to be upset. "Goodnight."

I watched Jeremy go downstairs, Jamie not far behind, Matt in his arms as he carefully made his way downstairs. It was obvious that the last thing he wanted was to hurt him and I had to trust him.

In the kitchen, Reece, Noah, Morgan, Antonio, Clayton and Elena were organising night shifts for patrol. It seemed that myself and Nick weren't allowed to take part and I was too exhausted to argue with them. Instead, when Pav was done checking Nick and giving him the all clear, I let Nick led me upstairs and into the smaller bedroom, crawling into the bed. It was smaller, only a double, but somehow that worked better than the bigger ones. Having Nick so close helped my tense body relax and before I knew it I was asleep.


	12. Reality

I woke up at around three in the morning, according to the cell phone Nick had dumped on the bedside table, and couldn't sleep. I could hear the faint sound of voices downstairs though and I slid out of bed after fifteen minutes of restless twisting and turning to join whoever it was. Not before I checked Nick though. I bent over to touch his head, where he'd clearly run into something, brushng the curls to one side to see the other spot. Just little lumps.

His wound on his shoulder was more or less done healing too, just a tender looking patch of pink skin, and it didn't look as upset as it had. He'd have his manly scar, a tiny little round one, and I could finally relax.

Downstairs Elena was still awake sitting at the table and still in the bridesmaid dress. She smiled a greeting at me as she was midway through drinking a cup of coffee, pale faced but alert, that energy a person got when they were exhausted but'd just had a enough coffee to keep them going. Whoever she'd been talking to was gone now.

I slid into the seat beside her and we sat there quietly, both unable to sleep. I was thinking how lucky it was that no one was killed. Well, except for Nathan. But maybe he had been taken away? Maybe they hadn't wanted to kill anyone, which was an odd thought, but we'd all been very clearly in the town when they'd set the houses on fire.

I asked Elena this, if she thought that, and she nodded slowly.

"It wasn't to kill us, no. It was worse than that in some ways. A single mutt invaded the core of our territory and set our home alight. It's... not a good sign, if they're getting as bold as to do that." She sighed and rubbed her head.

"You don't think that mutt was connected to the group?" I wasn't sure but when she said 'a single mutt' it didn't sound that way.

She shook her head. "I doubt they'd have been as stupid as to set a house on fire in such a amateur way or kill their own alpha's son. It's possible but there was only one scent around the house. We were talking about it, Clayton and myself, and we think this mutt was on his own. He might hope that he gets into the other pack though which provides us with another problem, if news about this group of mutts is spreading throughout the isolated mutts in the country. They're probably hoping that if they help them destroy us then they'll get something out of it."

I nodded and stood up after a few minutes, fixing us both food from the fridge. There wasn't as much here and we'd have to shop at some point. But I thought something would help us both relax a tiny bit. While I made the sandwiches I went over what she'd said.

I got the sense that it was bad, very bad, even if everyone was trying to stay strong. Even Elena seemed tired and I'd never seen Jeremy like that before. He'd always been the picture of calm, always knew what to do, what to say, like he was steps ahead of everyone else somehow. But he'd seemed to loose that when he saw the fire. For werewolves, I was starting to understand, territory and strength was the most important thing. If mutts started to invade it, expecting this pack to collapse and the other pack to take over, started to challenge us openly, and were even bold enough to burn the place down...

Elena moved to gaze out the window as she took her sandwich, her fingers tapping on the table. She seemed to want to speak, like something was there she was struggling with herself, and when I had sat down, she finally said softly, "Clayton's gone with Reece to hunt him down instead of protect the house."

"What?" I had not expected that, after all their careful watching the house plans. "Why?"

"Do you know how Clayton became the pack's protector?" When I shook my head she returned her attention to me. "When he was seventeen he cut up a mutt, every limb, every finger, every toe, keeping him alive till the last second and took photos of it. He spread them around, to every mutt, made sure that everyone saw what he could do." I cringed at that, at the brutal image of such a thing, and she nodded. "It was enough to send them a message that if they messed with the Pack they'd regret it. That was some time ago though and the past ten years, they've been getting bolder as Clay gets older and getting a bit too confidant, thinking he's a bit too old and weak now."

"He doesn't seem like that to me." He looked so young. HE and Nick both did. They might have been fifty but they would easily pass for thirties still. As for being weak, I'd never had an illusion about that with Clayton, even when he was being gentle with his kids. He was not like others and didn't pretend to be, seeming to be closer to his instincts than any other werewolf I knew and not caring if that was unusual. "Weak or old."

"No, he isn't really old, and he isn't close to being weak, but he isn't getting younger either. He decided it was time he starts to train someone else. Reece is old enough and proving to be a good fighter." Elena agreed. She glanced around, voice lower again, her voice so soft that I could barely hear it. "He and Reece are going to make it clear the pack's still not something you mess with."

I understood then. I didn't need the plans to understand. They'd gone to find the mutt and repeat the message. Elena didn't seem to be upset, exactly, but she didn't seem to like it either. If the mutts here were getting too cocky then...well, something had to be done. She didn't seem to want me to respond to that so I suspected it was between us only, for now. She looked almost relieved when I didn't comment and instead asked, "How is Jeremy?"

"Concentrating on helping your nephew, and no, you can't go down. Jeremy's asleep and he'll be having a rest for a few days. I'll be acting as alpha for a little while." She really didn't need to tell me that, I sort of sensed it already, but I nodded.

"He's not that good then?"

"He's going to need a while to recover from the shock but he'll be all right. Jamie's taking some extra time to stay with him and he's deciding to focus on your nephew while he pulls himself back together." Elena's eyes flickered down to my stomach then. "Any nausea? Can you see it yet?"

"Just when I smell onions and only after a lot of food."

"You seem to be having an easier start to it." She smiled a small smile. "I was already starting to show by then."

"You had twins though. I don't think that's what I'm facing."

"You never know. Maybe female werewolves have twins all the time." She smiled wider and shook her head. "It's a shame we can't do an ultrasound and find out."

"Why can't we? I'd almost like to see what's going on in there now." Get a photo even.

"If you saw a doctor for that she'd want blood tests done and the second she saw them she'd know you're not human. It's a shame though." She shrugged.

"Maybe we could get an ultrasound only. Tell her no blood."

"The last time Jeremy told a doctor no blood it went pretty badly. I'll think about it though. Either way, you'll probably have to spend most of the time here now."

"Does that mean I'm giving birth here?"

Elena nodded. "Jeremy delivered the twins."

I groaned softly and tried to think about that. Nick was afraid of the baby changing his life but he and I had a lot of fun getting it in there. Getting it out was going to be a hell of another story and it wasn't something Nick could join in with.

"You'll do fine. Your body seems to know it better than you do." Elena reassured me. "There's a lot of information online."

"I bet." I wondered if this house had the internet or a computer yet, suspecting it didn't, as no one really had needed it when the Stonehaven had it. "I guess I'll look when I can."

She nodded and yawned, going back to her half drunk coffee, eyes going to the window again.

After a while I spoke up, thinking of how Nick and I'd fit in the other room just fin."The twins and you two can use that room for however long you want. Months, whatever time it takes to build again. Our room is big enough for two of us."

"If it's months then it'll be three of you." Elena smiled slightly. "Thankyou though. It does help to have a little extra space with those two."

"How are they doing? Do they know about the fire?"

Elena nodded. "They're upset about all their toys gone but Logan's taking it better than Kate. They don't really understand it much more than that. Clay was just about ready to race for town and buy them everything they wanted but ...he was upset enough about the mutt to resist them for once. Oh." She stood up and went to get something from the pantry. "I rescued your wedding dress from Kate. I'll get you clothes out in the morning."

She lifted it out carefully and hung it across the chair beside me. I stroked the textured fabric.

"Thankyou." I'd have to find a way to stick it in the smaller wardrobe. What did people do with wedding dresses after anyway? Store them for their kids? I yawned, a tiredness returning, and agreed when she suggested I try and sleep again now.

Nick was awake when I came back into the room with the dress, the light on, reading a book as he waited for me. I managed to hang it in the wardrobe, glad it had a bag I could zip up, and crawled back into bed beside him as I kicked off the pants and tugged off the shirt. I'd fallen asleep in them and they weren't that comfortable.

"You all right?"

I nodded. Nick stood up, leaving the room for a second, only to return with a wet cloth. He started to wipe my face and I saw why- there was still traces of soot on it.

"Going in for me." He was shaking his head, as if he was still having trouble believing that.

"You were in there too long."

Nick's fingers slid under my panties, slowly, but he just held my lower stomach, feeling for that roundness hidden under the skin, finding it and keeping his hand on it. He shifted closer, breathing me in, head against mine on the pillow. "I'm sorry for getting afraid about this."

"I'm sorry for biting your head off when you were honest." I answered and he grinned, kissing my shoulder, as his fingers stroked my stomach. "To be honest it's scaring me a bit too. I agree about the sex part."

"Clay and Elena have a sex life. They just have to be creative. We'll have one." Nick went quiet as he pressed down, gently, more curious now than he had been earlier. "I wonder why I didn't notice it before."

"It's sort of hidden right now. You need to know where to look." Sleep was slurring my voice a bit, and yawns breaking it, but I had to add one last thing before I slept. "I told your dad. I'm sorry if you wanted to. I was a bit angry."

Nick shrugged. "One of us would have told him and he might not have believed me. How did he take it?"

"I think he was about to cry." Well, not exactly, but he looked happy enough.

Nick laughed, shaking his head against my shoulder. "He's getting soft in his old age. Why is it not as big as before?"

"I haven't eaten much so it's not being pushed out." I wondered if I should tell him what his dad had said in the car, about his mother. But Antonio hadn't said I shouldn't. I opened my eyes as I shifted again, finding a better position to sleep in, just on the cusp of sleep."Your dad seemed to think your mum looked like this, at this time of her pregnancy, she only showed when she ate."

"My mum looked like this?" Nick's body tensed slightly, as he lifted the blanket and gazed down at my stomach with a new expression, connecting the dots. Not 'baby' any more. It was his child. In me. Like he'd once been in his mother. He swallowed as he leaned closer, and I twisted so that our bodies were close, his hand slipping out so he could drape his arm across my waist. Nick said quietly, "Clay seems to like being a dad. Even when they're being brats."

"They're not brats all the time. We'll figure it out." I muttered, shutting my eyes, and let sleep come.

Nick woke me by accident late that morning. He was sitting on the bed on the other end, a laptop in his lap, a little wireless internet thing plugged into the side, fully dressed and looking like he'd come back. The laptop looked new enough, the packaging on the side of the room, so I suspected he'd snuck out early to get it.

"What are you doing?" I blinked at him sleepily, sliding up, crawling to the other side of the bed.

"Look, this is what it looks like." He twisted the laptop around to show me an alien. Not an alien, I realised as I read the page beside it, a fetus. "I wanted to see what was going on in there."

I sat up, his arm yanking me over, as he gawked at the page. Nick didn't seem to believe it. "It's got fingers and toes already and the heart's already working. And it can move its arms already. They don't wait, do they? I wonder if I could hear the heart?"

"Lots of growing to do, I guess. You probably need special equipment to hear it right now, it'd be so tiny." I yawned, relaxed, as he moved to look at other sites. He at least wasn't looking pale and a little freaked out, like he had last night, seeming to take it better now. I kissed him, leaving him with his task. Once I was done with the bathroom I headed downstairs.

Noah smiled, calling morning, from where he was kneeling beside the wall. I guessed that he was trying to repair the burnt part of the kitchen so it was more weather tight. He had relaxed around me, it seemed, as if being a 'claimed woman' made it easier for him to know how to behave around me. I could barely believe it, barely believe I was married now. We'd had a fairly unusual night last night, no classic sex till dawn, but with Nick seeming to recover from his shock I didn't really mind. As far as I was concerned we had a lot of chances. Maybe starting tonight. Or this afternoon, if I couldn't wait.

I still didn't really feel pregnant, I was just aware of it now, the test slapping it in my face and forcing me to notice all the little things that I'd just been too distracted to pay attention to.

"Morning." Elena called. She was still awake, though it looked like she was just about ready to collapse, dark shadows under her eyes. "Breakfast's in the fridge for you. I'm heading up to bed now, come get me if you need me."

I nodded and she went upstairs, slowly. The twins were in the living room, playing with something Nick must have brought back for them, adopting the new house easily. I wondered if they'd already been here over the past month, visiting. Jamie and Danielle sat with them, the two women playing, but their voices were low and lacking in energy, like everyone was still too stunned to really want to talk.

My attention was distracted by Antonio who had grabbed me, swinging me around, hugging me so hard I could hardly breathe. He, at least, was in a good mood.

"Nick told me he changed his mind." He put me down, smiling. " Sit, I'll cook you something hot while I instruct Noah."

I sat down and Antonio got to work, flipping eggs, bacon a bit too overdone, tomato a bit burnt, but he was trying hard and I ended up with a plateful of more or less edible food that was hot and smelt good. Actually, the charcoal parts smelt really good, I found myself enjoying every last bit of it. He even offered a cup of coffee, which turned out to be decaf, and I accepted it.

Jeremy came into the room while I was halfway through the plate and I paused gobbling it down to ask him about Matthew. He was downstairs, he hadn't seen me properly yet, and I decided to put my foot down about this.

So he sighed and sat down, taking a moment as if he was trying to prepare what he was going to say, whatever it was so difficult that even Jeremy seemed lost for words. Finally he started. "What I'm going to tell you won't be easy. But you need to know, first and foremost, that he is alive, he is eating, and he is talking, and we're going to do everything in our power to make sure he recovers."

I knew it was bad then. My heart sank, fear throbbing in it, skin going cold. "It's bad?"

Jeremy nodded. He glanced at Antonio who went to move Noah out of the room, telling him to come back in half an hour and have a break, before Antonio came to sit on my other side.

"Did you know about Clay's childhood?"

"Jeremy, Clayton's great, but..."

"Let him finish, sweetie." Antonio's hand found mine, so much like Nick's, and he held it. I swallowed the end of that sentence.

"Clayton was found already bitten when he was six, the same age as your nephew, somehow surviving the bite and thriving. He didn't know how to talk and it took some time for him to adjust to the human world again. His body and mind as a child was much happier with the wolf mind. But as an adult, he became one of the most feared fighters of the werewolf world." He paused.

"I know that."

"He's the kind of werewolf an alpha would be glad to have. Dangerous, closer to wolf than any other werewolf, and someone no mutt would dare enrage." Until recently, I thought, as Jeremy paused to let this information sink in.

"Clayton was the one who managed to get to Matthew before they got him on the ship. He was in his own container. He's emotionally in a very bad place, grieving for your family, thinking _we'd_ killed his family and that the man who bit you was his real father. He also believed that you didn't love him." My jaw had opened, ready to protest that, and Jeremy cut me off "I _know_ that's a lie. I know you love him. It was a manipulation in order to get Matt to do whatever he asked. When he bit Matthew, it was with Matthews permission, because the so called alpha told him that Matthew could be a great warrior with strength like a superhero. That was Matthews own words. We believe the mutt hoped it'd create another Clayton, his very own one, and he was found with the best care, his own personal doctor and nurse living in the container with him, caring for him while his body struggled with the bite."

"Wait, he bit him?" I smiled, a reflex to deal with what I'd heard, like I wanted it to be a joke. I didn't feel the least bit amused and my hand clenched. My mind didn't, couldn't, work this one over. It was confused. "Is he injured badly?"

"He's bitten now, like you, and his body is rejecting it very strongly. But right now he is alive and he is talking." Jeremy grabbed for my other hand as I swayed, slightly, my head light. "Breathe, Anne." After I managed to get some oxygen back in my lungs, Jeremy asked, slowly, voice almost calming me a little. "Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

"That he thinks I hate him, that you killed his family, that asshole is his dad?"

"And?"

"And that asshole bit him because he made a six year old think it was what his fake dad wanted?"

Jeremy nodded.

Their faces yesterday morning flashed in my mind then, suddenly, how pale they'd looked, how I knew something was wrong. "This is what was wrong yesterday, isn't it?" When Jeremy nodded again, I went pale with rage. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We were going to tell you after. Not before the wedding. He couldn't come to it and you couldn't skip the wedding. He is too sick to leave the basement right now. Antonio was right to take him out with the fire but he has to stay there until it's the right time."

"We wanted to tell you, sweetie, but he was sedated and asleep. You didn't need to be there." Antonio said softly from the other side. "He didn't know you weren't around and he was better off drugged for that time."

"I'm his family. He needs me." I swallowed. I tried to push the rage down, tried so hard, because I knew that Jeremy and Antonio were trying to protect him and me. I had to calm down. "So now what? You keep him down there till he's well again, I make sure he knows I love him, and we undo the mindfuckery on him?"

"It might take a long time. He saw his family die in front of him, wolves attack them, his home burn, so you'll have to expect it to take a long time and be patient with him. But yes. And we'll all be there to support you and help you. You aren't alone and neither is he." Jeremy stroked my other hand as I tried to take it all in.

"Will he start changing as a teenager, like Logan and Kate?" Was that what it meant when a child was bitten? I wasn't sure how to take this, how it worked, if this bite thing only worked on bodies of a certain age or up.

Jeremy paused, just a fraction, and shook his head. "He isn't hereditary like them. For him, now that it's in his system, it starts now. He's already changing into a wolf and may do it quite a lot until his body settles down. Clayton wanted me to tell you that he will be there to help guide Matt."

He was already changing. I paled, picturing that tiny body, the pain of those changes, remembering the hell of the first six months, and how I'd only managed to control it out of sheer will and rage at the man who kept hurting me. Matt was six years old, five when I'd left Australia, and he was terrified and hurt and scared, and far too little for it. "He's too little for this."

"He is too little." Jeremy agreed. His face was sad now. "You might have to face the possibility that he might not survive it at all. It's not an easy process and grown men don't survive it. Or-" He hesitated, as his eyes met Antonio. Antonio nodded. "There is the smallest chance that he might not want to stay human. There is a possibility that he may give into the instinct to be a wolf. It's slight but I don't want to lie to you."

I wasn't hungry now. I ignored the plate of food, so afraid, so _angry_, I wanted to rip that bastard's teeth out of his jaw one by one, take the fangs out, make sure he could never bite anyone again. And bite a kid? Just so he could try and make a new Clayton? Was it because his own son had been a weak kid who didn't seem that bright?

"When you're done emptying the plate we can go down to see him."

"How is he?" I forced myself to eat, forced it to go down into my upset stomach, breathing in and out fast.

"Like a caged wolf. Right now he's sedated and has just finished breakfast. He may react badly to you but I don't think keeping you apart is going to help. We'll have you visit him twice a day for fifteen minutes for now. I want to keep your stress down as well for your baby's sake." Jeremy reminded me then, of my own baby, and I nodded, ate more, breathing in and out so that I didn't pass out.

I followed him downstairs. Matt was awake, eating, a little red wolf cub bent over a plate, hair rising and a long low growl at the sound of us. Clothing was half ripped across him, like he'd tried to wriggle out of it but his stomach had taken over, green eyes glaring at us as we came to stand near the bars.

"He changed again." Jeremy said softly, reaching out for something on the wall, marking it down. It was a clipboard with a daily schedule, he was tracking it, tracking every last thing Matt did. "I'm trying to find a pattern. Sit down and talk to him, or just let him smell you. It doesn't matter while he's like this."

I didn't know what to say so I sat down and he growled at me, clearly willing to sink teeth into me if I came close enough, no trace of conciousness in those eyes. He was tiny, adorable, the kind of wolf cub that people would see and think 'I can tame that adorable wolf, he's so cute', but he was very clearly not tame. I wondered if he was like this when he was human too. From the way Jeremy had been talking, I suspected he might have been.

He didn't look particularly healthy though, now that I looked closer, there was an air of something else there that set my wolf side on edge. Illness, or disease, I wasn't sure what it was called, just this awareness that he wasn't right at the moment. Some urge in me wanted to go in and groom him silly, clean out that fur that was all over the place, stroke it down, comfort him. I had to hold onto my legs to resist the urge to get up and go inside. He may have been little, cute and needing attention, but he had a mouth full of teeth that he was clearly willing to use.

Matt's nostrils flared as he growled, backing up, eyes fixed on me, ears down, fur up on his back. Sniff, sniff, sniff, stare. A quick lunge for his meal, gobbling it up, not trusting me, before he was backing off into the corner again, returning to the growl, stare, sniff, get some food routine. On the far wall of the basement was where Jeremy had clearly set up his own bed, clearly intending on spending as much time with Matt as he could, a pile of books and a little lantern with it. Some of them were even children's books. I wondered if he'd let me sleep down here as Matt got used to me, spend time with Matt, let him know I wasn't going anywhere.

After fifteen minutes, Jeremy guided me back upstairs and I went to sit back in the kitchen, feeling weak.

"He's doing better today. Has more energy than usual." He tried to cheer me up, rubbing my back.

"He's too young."

"I know and I'm keeping my eye on it." Jeremy reassured me. He went to get the plate of leftover breakfast from the fridge and ate it, his own face still a bit pale. "He's got a lot of support, a flood of pack uncles all willing to help him, and a aunt who loves him. Soon, he'll have a cousin too."

"It might make him more jealous." I muttered.

"It might but that'll settle. His instincts will urge him to accept some kind of family, I suspect, so he may accept a baby faster than he accepts you."

That meant this could take over a year or more. I would stick it out, of course, but the entire thing was daunting. I found myself being handed another plate by Antonio, who pushed it at me, and I ate slowly. I was a little hungry still, actually, I'd only had one serving. I wanted to scream, and yell, and throw plates around, but that wasn't going to help. The only thing that would help was getting those assholes once and for all.

"How are you doing?" I asked, as I ate. I was worried for him, I cared about him even, this alpha who'd taken me in and so willingly cared for me even when I wasn't stable. "With the fire."

Jeremy wasn't fine, and he didn't try to hide it, but he smiled weakly as he answered, "That house had a lot of memories and a lot of history." Jeremy said, finally, his eyes on the table now.

"Not all of them good memories or history." Antonio reminded him. Maybe that was why he wasn't as bothered by the fire, I wondered, if he and Jeremy shared bad memories there.

"No." Jeremy agreed with that. He went quiet again.

I was called upstairs by Nick and with nothing more I could say I headed up to find him on the bed still, asking me if I wanted to see a birth. _That_ was not attractive in the slightest.

"Not for months, Nick."

"Neither do I." He shut the laptop and put it on the bedside table, shaking his head. "There's too much on the internet." Nick moved to the window beside the bed and gazed out of it. "I think Stonehaven isn't burning any more, I can't see smoke."

I went to sit beside where he stood, gazing up at him, as he stood there and looked out one of the smaller windows, one hand coming to run through my hair, looking in the direction Stonehaven was. Had been.

"Was that about Matt?" Nick asked, glancing down. When I nodded, he asked, "What's wrong with him?"

I told him. As I spoke he came to sit beside me, our legs pressed up, his arm wrapped around my waist.

"Clayton survived. I grew up with him after. I can try and help you with this, and I know Clayton will, he's probably furious about what he found." He reassured me, nuzzling against my neck, his fingers twisting around mine and squeezing.

"He might not even survive the changes."

Nick didn't say anything then, as if he couldn't think of anything positive or reassuring, so he just nodded a fraction, chin brushing against my shoulder. My hand found his thigh, stroking it, feeling it flex and react to my touch under the fabric of the pants. Nick was so alive, so warm, I just had to touch him and I felt reassured somehow. Jeremy was right- Matt had a flood of grown werewolves who were raised from kids knowing about this and all here to offer him guidance and Pav was a trained nurse. I had to let them do what they knew how to do.

Elena interrupted us a few minutes later as she carried in some of our stuff from the room she'd taken over. Nick squeezed my leg and went to help her, moving things in, and I went to put them away, the cleaning somehow distracting from the greater problems. I was already looking forward to going downstairs and seeing Matt again, angry or not.

We had to go to Stonehaven, very suddenly, just as lunch was about to be finished. There was the problem of Nathan potentially being in the basement in a cage, and while it was usually private, there would be investigations into the house fire now. He might have been burnt enough to cover his unusual genetics as a werewolf but if they found a body in a cage in a _basement_ there'd be all sorts of assumptions and possibly worse trouble for Jeremy.

So we had to go and get it cleared out in under half an hour, slowly, carefully, without knocking down the fragile remains of the house, make sure there was no trace of the cage after, and then somehow re-soot the places our feet had touched. Only Nick and Noah went inside, Nick with enough balance to not lean on everything, and Noah being small and light enough to tiptoe behind Nick and follow his every footstep. I had a bag of fine soot from Forestwatch but went to gather soot from things, moving around to do it evenly, so that I could have an extra bag afterwoods so they could cover their tracks as they backed out again.

Poor Nathan was still there, halfway out of the cage, like he'd been so afraid that he'd been willing to cause himself who knew how much damage to get out. They had to slowly back out with him in a blanket, leaving him on the snow while they went back in, and I couldn't look at the blanket. I couldn't picture it because when I did I'd be seeing my Dad, or my nephew, or my mum, not Nathan. I did feel bad for Nathan, dying in that house alone, wondered how he'd been treated by that man, if he'd been abused for being too weak, too submissive to be any good. He'd tried to rape me, I knew that, but he'd also made it clear he'd hoped I'd love him eventually. He'd just been a screwed up kid that had no clue about the world.

They'd then tore the bars out, most of them already too ruined to put up much of a fight, and thrown them over to where Antonio was waiting to catch them and put them in a tarp in the back of the four wheel drive. If anything displayed the strength of werewolves it was this- grown men, snapping, bending and throwing heavy metal poles around like they were bamboo.

We'd hurried with the cleanup, including covering our feet around the house, and backed off as the investigators arrived with a minute to spare.

"We just can't believe it." Antonio told them, shaking his head. "Wedding yesterday, homeless today."

They seemed to accept that, apparently knowing about the wedding, and congratulating Nick and myself. We talked a little bit, about how we were postponing the honeymoon now, that we wanted to stay and help a little longer, before we headed off to let them do their job and do our job.

The bars had to be buried in an unmarked grave some hours away, in the middle of no where, a lonely death for the kid. Nathan would be buried on another site which Antonio had driven to with Noah. I helped Nick, or attempted to, before he remembered I was pregnant and yanked the shovel off me.

"I think you're not supposed to lift anything." He didn't seem certain about that, clearly not sure what pregnant women were and weren't allowed to do, but he was determined to make sure I stopped working anyway.

I wasn't sure if that was a myth or true but I decided it wasn't worth testing. So I waited, watching, as Nick struggled with the hard cold ground. I even perved a little, seeing as he wasn't letting me work, something it might be impossible for any hot blooded woman to avoid. He was sweating, shirtless, his muscles standing out as he dug the hole, curls clinging slightly to his damp face and neck.

"Should I get the poles?"

Nick stood up and shook his head, breathing hard. "No lifting." He went to get them, burying the pieces and remains of the cage in the deep hole, before he covered it up again, bit by bit, and dumped snow on top of the disturbed dirt.

We headed back to Forestwatch once he was done, the heater keeping us both warm, one of Nick's hands in mine. Halfway we got lunch, ordering enough from a drive through for six of us, and I got most of it before I realised that he'd been slipping me extra food.

The last stop was to shop. Elena had sent Nick a list to get on his way home, apparently Antonio had got the other half of it, and we loaded up with groceries, some toys, and pregnancy vitamins. Turned out such things existed and I needed them.

Sara was at Forestwatch when we returned. I wasn't sure when she'd come, hoping it wasn't long, but she was sitting with Elena and the twins in the kitchen and chatting away. She smiled when she saw me and I relaxed. The smile was a bit odd though, like she knew something, some secret. Elena moved away with the twins at the sight of us and we both sat down with her.

"I called up the house and Elena told me you were out for some _private_ time away from her twins." Sara's eyes moved a fraction of a second to Nick's messed up hair and that smile widened just slightly. That explained the smile. She thought we'd gone off to have some fun in the back all afternoon while the twins ruled the house. "Elena said you'd be back by four," She glanced at the clock which said five now, "but I was a little late anyway so it's probably good you both enjoyed yourselves."

"We had to get some groceries for the extra mouths to feed here. I still have to get them out." I explained and she nodded.

"I'll get them." Nick volunteered, standing, and moved to get them while we talked.

"Suz would be so glad to see you like this." Sara said, softer, as she shifted her chair closer. "Happy, married, and with so many friends around you. I think she used to worry that you studied too much and had too little fun." Sara's face twisted with sadness as she said it, but she was smiling still, really genuinely believing what she said.

"I guess I wasn't a big fan of getting drunk instead of doing art."

"She was proud of you for _that_, believe me, but she kept wondering if you were a lesbian because you brought no boys home. If she'd have seen how you were yesterday... she would have been so happy. So would have your mum and dad." Sara shook her head, before she went for the bag beside her, pulling out a large wrapped gift. "I brought you this for a wedding present."

I took it and when Nick got back, arms literally laden with bags, I opened it. Inside was a photo box, filled with photos, as well as a number of CDs. It made a lump come back into my throat, eyes suddenly warm, these photos and images of my family that weren't horrible, just of them laughing, and smiling, and happy. Some were of us on holiday when I was young, some even before that, photos of my parents when they were young, black and white photos of their parents. I wasn't even sure how she got some of _those_- my parents had both lost their parents before I was born. I knew Sara had been around my entire life, almost, she'd been the only friend Susie had kept from her teenage years. A lot of her other friends had moved on when she got pregnant.

"We all got as many photos we could, all that were at the funeral, so you had something still. So one day when you have a child, you can show them what they were like, what you were like."

"Thankyou. This ...it means a lot to me." I reached out to hug her, her arms closing hard around me as she squeezed me.

"They would have wanted you to have a life, a family, and friends. I'm so glad you're building one here and with such a cute guy too." She turned to look at Nick, who was putting away the stuff, and he grinned at her, a confidant cocky grin, which made her cheeks redden slightly.

Nick moved to wrap an arm around me as he took the photos and gazed at them, looking at the family, at the people I knew he'd wanted to meet.

"We'll have to buy a photo album and put them in." He decided, squeezing my shoulder, as he stared at a photo. "Was this you?"

He sat down and we looked at the photo. It was me, when I was just a toddler, being held by Susie in one arm, Phill in the other arm. We looked almost like we were twins at that age, two toddlers with silver blonde hair, his just a fraction darker than mine, compared to Susie's redder strawberry blonde.

"She had the most amazing hair as a toddler, just like her nephew, we used to joke and call them twins." Sara shook her head at the memory. "You wouldn't think that two years later, Phill had brown hair and hers had started to darken and get warmer in color. See."

She flipped through the photos and showed him a photo of us when we were older, on our first school day, my hair a golden blonde now and his going a warm pale brown. We looked nothing alike at that age. My hair had darkened, and darkened, and darkened, until it was now the dark red-blonde color it was now, while his had stopped changing and remained that shade right into his twenties.

"What about this one?" He tugged out a photo of a baby, eyes darting to my stomach, for a second.

"That was Li- I mean Anne- too. She was adorable then. But then, I didn't have to change her nappies, I got to leave when she got a little too upset or smelly." Sara smiled weakly. "Wish I could do that with my own baby."

"You have a baby?"

Sara nodded. "She was born a while after you went missing. I love her but sometimes I miss sleep. And sex. And sleep. Funny how I want to have a break when I'm with her but when I'm here, halfway across the world, all I want to do is go rushing back."

Nick's face tensed, just slightly, but he managed to shake it off when she mentioned that she missed her baby. His smile returned, just as wide, a hand sneaking under the table to touch my stomach.

"Have you two thought about having a baby yet?" Sara asked, her eyes moving from Nick to myself, her curiosity overwhelming any attempt to be polite.

"We've talked about it." I nodded. Nick seemed to be fighting with the urge to tell her.

"You don't have to rush. You're both young."

We were interrupted by the sound of hungry kids, and Elena calling them back, so I knew it was time to start cooking dinner. Sara agreed to stay for dinner, but she'd have to go back, her flight home the next morning. She'd been offered a longer trip but she'd had to go back to her job and her baby.

Dinner was fantastic, with both Sara and myself knowing how to cook, except Nick kept getting funny looks when he kept offering to lift things. Or carry things. Or do something. I suspected she was starting to wonder if I was pregnant, from the way he was behaving. She raised an eyebrow when I told her 'Sorry, no onions' as she took one out, nodded, and put it away again.

We sat down and ate together, with apparently everyone else out and having dinner in town, which I suspected meant they'd retreated for a while to avoid the stranger. If I was learning anything about werewolves, they weren't keen on being social, and Elena was really trying hard to help. Or maybe she was trying to get the twins used to strangers, because they were fascinated with Sara, continuously asking her questions about Australia, about her job, about what she _ate_, like she was an alien visiting their home planet. I had to give it to her too, for a woman with jet lag, she took it all very well.

We entertained them with dessert, bringing out a treat I'd had as a kid a lot called a 'frog in a pond.' It was basically a chocolate frog sticking out of a cup of green and blue jelly. They seemed to love that, catching the frog from deep inside, and eating it up like the little hunters they were. We'd tried to make some extra for everyone else but Kate and Logan made sure that all the frogs were captured, leaving some very empty looking ponds in the fridge.

I went out with Sara as it got late, Nick promising to drive her to her hotel safely.

"You _are_ pregnant, aren't you?"

Yep, Nick had given it away successfully. I glanced at him as he came out, blinking at her.

I nodded and she squealed and yanked my top up so she could stare at my stomach. Thanks to a big dinner it was there again, this tiny roundness to the stomach, and Sara was quick to touch it before I could blink. Some part of me suddenly wanted to shove her back, push her away from me, get her out of my personal space, and when she went to hug me, I flinched and stepped back out of her way, repressing a snarl.

She blinked at me, hurt suddenly on her face, and confusion. We'd hugged quite a lot when I was a child and a teenager, and even sometimes when I was in my early twenties, but for some reason now I could not do it. I didn't want to hug her. I liked her, I was glad she was here, but I _couldn't_ hug her. Nick seemed to be a bit surprised too, but not too much, and he managed to hug her. I could see his body rejecting the idea. What was going on?

"What's wrong?" She turned to look at me, that same expression on her face.

"My chest. It's sensitive." They were, so to speak, and it was the only thing I could think of. "From the pregnancy."

It seemed to wipe off that confusion and hurt though and she nodded, giving me a sympathetic pat on the arm. "Oh, I understand. How many weeks are you?"

"Nine or ten, but please keep it quiet. We only found out yesterday." I wasn't sure who she'd tell but she nodded.

"Very early then. Don't worry, sweetie, they might hurt less in the next few weeks then." Sara nodded and turned on Nick again. "Congratulations, daddy."

"Ah, thanks." He glanced at me, a 'how the hell did she know?' question in his eyes.

"She guessed from the way you wouldn't let me carry a plate." I muttered.

"Good on you too. Don't let her carry anything heavy, or eat soft cheese, or eat seafood, except well cooked fish of course, or drink caffeine, or alcohol... and make sure you give her a back rub. She'll need it." Sara had turned on him listing off things she could remember. She turned on me then. "Cocoa butter is good for your skin, get some, it'll stop stretch marks. And it can't hurt to get ready now for the baby, get the nursery ready while you can still bend over, and plan the birth."

"Okay." What more could he say? He seemed to be torn between wanting to rush back into the house and probe her for more questions.

"Promise me you'll write. Email, I mean. Send me photos of your ultrasound too. Take photos of your stomach every week from now on, you'd be amazed how it changes. I'll show you mine." She seemed to thrive on this, on this news, her face warm and all traces of sadness gone. "Would your sister be happy! Wow."

I promised, I took her email address and told her mine had to be made again because it'd been deleted months ago. She grasped my hand, seeing as I couldn't hug, before hopping into the car. I watched as Nick drove off with her and I was left watching them leave.

I went inside to find Elena clearing the dinner table. I felt so guilty, so damn guilty, for rejecting Sara's hug that it must have shown.

"What's wrong?"

I told her what'd happened. "We used to hug all the time, even if I wasn't a big fan of it, but now I can't stand the idea of her getting too close." I felt awful. I kept seeing her face when I'd flinched and stepped back, the slight hurt there, but I couldn't stand the idea of a hug. Not even with Sara.

"It's the wolf in you." Elena explained. She touched my arm, so easily, so relaxed, and I found my body quite happy about that physical contact. It felt safe. "Not really your fault, just an inbuilt instinct to avoid close physical contact with other species. Including humans. You won't catch Clayton touching a human, not even a handshake, unless he has to."

"But he's _hugged_ me." They were slightly awkward hugs, sure, but they were real hugs.

"Well, you're not human, you're apart of the pack now, and you're Nick's mate. Three points that make him feel at ease with you. No one here would behave the same way with humans or others, even friends, than they do with each other and you. That only changes between a werewolf and a human when sex got into it."

"Nick with his lovers."

She nodded, a small smile at that, and agreed. "Yes, Nick was a little less anxious about that before he met you. I'm not sure how he did it. But that's why no one wanted to stay for dinner with her. It isn't personal, it's just that we're more comfortable with each other."

"That explains why I felt like backing up every time Paige approached me with a brush or make up or..." I remembered that, this urge to back up, and how hard it'd been to stay still and let her do it. I'd even flinched a number of times but she'd ignored it as if she didn't care.

"Exactly. She understands though and wasn't offended by it. Sara didn't understand. What did you tell her?"

"She'd guessed that I was pregnant so I told her pregnancy made my chest too sore to hug." Not exactly a lie either, sort of, an exaggeration. "She has a baby so she understood."

Elena nodded. We dumped the dishes and started to rinse and stack them. Now that she mentioned it, I did feel comfortable bumping into her, but when I'd been in the wedding, or getting out of the car, being stared at or being the centre of attention had set me on edge worse than it had before I'd been bitten.

"This is going to take some getting used to." I muttered.

Jeremy appeared then, offering to escort me downstairs for the night's visit with Matt, and I watched him sleep. He was a little boy again, clearly exhausted, covered up in the blanket and looking just as unhealthy as he had as a wolf. There were bruises on his arms. Very fresh bruises.

"He's sedated to help him get some rest." Jeremy said softly as we sat down. "He didn't react well to the sound of Sara's voice."

"I would have-"

"It was just some bruising and I was quick to calm him. If something more serious happens, I will come get you." Jeremy's arm brushed against my arm.

I nodded and leaned against him. He seemed to relax, smiling somewhat, letting me. Jamie came down and raised an eyebrow but she seemed more amused than jealous.

"I'll be up in ten minutes." Jeremy glanced up to her and she nodded, before vanishing back up the stairs.

"She's a necromancer, huh?"

"Yes. A good one too." He nodded.

"Raises the dead?"

"Amongst other things. She can contact the dead." He seemed to regret saying that, stiffening, but I had no desire to contact my family right now. I kept it in my mind though.

"I've got more problems with the living right now." I muttered and he relaxed, nodding. "I guess then if she can talk to them then they're clearly in an afterlife. That's nice."

Jeremy smiled a fraction and squeezed my arm. We stood up and headed upstairs after a while to our own separate rooms.

I found something on my bed when I went in. It was wrapped up in white, with a orange bow on it, and it had 'from your bridesmaids'. When I opened it I gawked at what I found.

Oh my god. It was worse than the ones Nick had bought for Christmas.

I stared at it, lifting it up, distinctly seeing my own horrified reflection in the mirror on the wall. At least the ones he'd bought had fabric that was somewhat transparent. This white baby doll thing didn't even bother pretending that it was anything _but_ to display every inch of the body, with just the slightest transparency to the bra and panties part. The fabric was with a kind of leaf pattern to it, all over, the babydoll open in the front like the other one. There was even a garter thing attached, that thing that went around the thigh, and I could already see his face when he caught sight of _that_.

I wanted to wear it. I wanted to see Nick's face when he saw it. But should I wear it? Was the world too screwed up right now?

I decided that damn them, and the mutts, and the fire, and the rest of it. Who the hell were they to screw with last night? Whoever had decided to give this to me, it only said 'from the bridesmaids', I decided that they were right and we'd have the wedding night tonight. My legs were still more or less waxed, something I had managed to do before the wedding, which Nick would probably _never_ see again. Shaved, okay, that might happen now and then but never again would an eager witch with a waxing kit approach me.

It actually looked kind of good on. I was very clearly naked under it, the darkness of my nipples against the white fabric, another dark shape lower down, it did not hide a single thing. But my breasts were filling it out pretty nice and my stomach had that soft curve to it, thanks to that 'snack' after dinner as we'd cleaned, which actually worked well with the opening at the front of the baby doll and the very low panties. It made it look kind of sexy. I seemed to have gained weight as well, bones not quite as obvious, some shape back.

I felt kind of sexy right now. Screw those assholes out there. I was sexy right now and I had the freedom to be sexy. I'd come kick their asses later. Right now I had to surprise Nick and I could hear him coming up the stairs.

I hopped into bed, tugging that garter thing on as I managed to get in under the sheets, tugging them up to my head, as he came in. He looked _exhausted_. No, not just exhausted, he looked shell shocked too. Pale. Overwhelmed. I suddenly had this distinct feeling that my 'surprise' wasn't going to be as much of an impact as I'd hoped.

"You all right?"

"I had a very long lesson in how to take care of you for the next nine months." He grinned, crawling over, and collapsing dramatically on his stomach as if he was fainting. "You owe me one for that drive. She's sending me emails too."

"I didn't even know you know how to use the computer." I teased him.

"I have many skills I have yet to show you." He tried to flirt, but he just slid up. There was a tenseness there in Nick's face again. He smiled, leaning over to kiss me gently. "I'm going to have some more food and have a shower. Don't wait up."

Then he left me there, dressed up and without a werewolf to take it off again.

I sighed and undressed from the sexy stuff, feeling less sexy than I had before, hiding it and tugging on the bed shirt that he'd given me instead. I felt tired suddenly, exhausted, and really let down. Damn.

I woke early the next morning as I felt the bed sink. Nick was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the laptop again. He looked as pale as he had last night when he'd come home, dark shadows under his eyes, like he hadn't fallen asleep when I had. It looked like he'd been up all night on the laptop.

"What's wrong?" I slid up and stared at him.

"You really want to know?"

Probably not, if he put it like that, but I nodded anyway.

"Anne, I've been trying to be positive about this." He was staring at the pregnancy page again, at the 'what dads should know' section, and Nick's face was drained of all blood. "I just don't think I can do this. All of it. I'm not a natural father like Clay, is, I don't think I'll be a good parent even. I don't know how to cope with this."

The sound of activity downstairs made us both flinch. I sat there, stunned, unable to speak. What the hell, where the hell had this all come from?

"What are you saying?"

"I'm... confused." He frowned at the word. "It's too much right now. Maybe it's selfish to bring a child into the pack right now. Maybe we're not ready."

There was a call from downstairs, which I tried to ignore, but Nick was clearly eager to answer it. He stood up and dressed as I stared at him. The last time he'd said this, I'd yelled, I'd run off, but now I couldn't. I'd gotten used to the idea of this working out.

"Think about it." He turned to me at the door. Nick sounded tired when he spoke, quiet, like he'd been thinking these words all night. "I know you want a family to replace yours but you have one, Anne, _we're_ your family. How can we protect a baby when we're struggling to protect our own pack?"

Then he was gone. I stared at the door. The words selfish smashed itself around my head, rebounding, unable to believe what I was hearing from him. Maybe it was the tiredness talking. I didn't care. He was being selfish, not me. Or was he?

I had no clue. I dressed, voice gone, and went downstairs. All emotions were faded away again, like they had when I was trying to recover from the funeral, and I felt numb. What if he was right? What if it was selfish to want this to happen now?

As I came down the stairs I heard activity. A lot of it. Jamie was in Elena and Clayton's room with the door shut, and locked I suspected, and feet were moving through the house below at a fast rate. I could hear Pav and Jeremy's voices downstairs.

"We're going to meet the container ship." Jeremy informed me, when he saw me, something in his arms. Laundry I supposed. Whatever he'd lost at the sight of his home burning had vanished now, he was back to his calm and confidant self. No trace of the indecision or self-doubt remained. He glanced at me, waiting for me to ask to go, but when I didn't he blinked slightly. "Elena and Antonio will meet Clayton and Reece. Anne, you can't go, but Nick, if you want..."

Nick moved forward. "I'll go."

Jeremy glanced him and then nodded. "Hurry up and throw some clothes together."

Nick nodded and back headed upstairs.

When I still didn't ask to go as well, Jeremy looked at me, and very softly, asked, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. I wasn't ready to talk. I wished I could talk to Reece, suddenly, or someone. He was probably still angry with me though, I'd gotten no messages from him, nothing. I wasn't even sure what I'd say to him but...

I watched them go, Jeremy's hand on my arm, Pav on my other side. It was clearly war, or something like it, because even as they were pulling out, they were already discussing tactics. Who would stay where and who would be on the front line. My heart sunk as it faded from view. Something in me told me that this time Nick wasn't changing his mind. He hadn't wanted to deal with being a father. He wanted me, of course, I didn't doubt that. But he couldn't go a day without returning to that earlier panic and resistance to the pregnancy. We'd known two days and he'd only been happy about it for less than twelve hours.

Daniella was watching them as well, from inside the living room, her arms crossed, face white.

I sat upstairs all day, staring at the window, feeling myself starting to slip back into that depression that'd overwhelmed me after the funeral. It was almost like I was already grieving for the baby and it was still there.

The problem was, I wasn't sure if he was right or wrong. Maybe it was selfish timing. Matt needed me, those assholes needed my fist, and from the way Elena had talked it'd sounded like the pack was also suffering worse than they had been for a very long time. Mutts challenging their territory, burning down their house, it wouldn't be surprising if one tried to attack one of us at one point to add to the insult. An hour after he'd gone I wanted to scream at him. But he was gone by then. The text messages I sent to him only received 'talk later, love you', no matter how upset or angry I tried to be in them. He just brushed me off.

No one could tell me what was going on either. I heard bits and pieces, that there was a storm and the ship had been delayed, that they had to wait a bit longer, that they were doing this, or that, but nothing seemed to be happening. If Jermey was frustrated by the delay he didn't show it. Instead, he continued with the routine. Led me downstairs twice a day, even if I didn't talk, Pav made sure I ate the right stuff, took the right pills, and then I was left to do what I wanted. So I cleaned. For a week, I cleaned, I waited, and the ship still hadn't come in yet, delayed by the bad weather.

Reece got back to me on the third day though, prompted by Jeremy, and I almost burst into tears at the sound of his familiar voice and accent. He was so startled to hear me crying that he promptly lost any anger he'd had left. He didn't know what to do, how to fix it, and he went for Nick after five minutes. I hung up before Nick could show up. I didn't want to talk to Nick. Why would I? The phone started to ring, over and over and over, and I ignored it. Watched it vibrate on the desk. I was starting to get angry now, all over again, angry and crying and I knew it was probably hormones but damn them both anyway.

Reece then called Daniella who tried to talk to me, as awkward as he'd been when she saw tears, but she tried. Apparently they made up. That news just made me cry harder, feeling rejected somewhat, as neither of them had told me. Stupid reaction, completely illogical, but I wasn't feeling logical. I was stuck in a house, trying to decide if I was selfish or not, and not allowed to go out and kick the ass of the man who'd bit me. Why? Because I was pregnant. Suddenly this wasn't so much fun anymore.

Maybe it was because of this that Jeremy offered me to go shopping with Jamie and get out of the house for a while. We didn't speak, neither of us knowing the other that well, but we shopped in silence. Somehow that worked and I found myself coming back to my senses there, in the supermarket, with Jamie taking half the list and me working on the other half. The task distracted me enough to calm down for a few hours and I almost wished I hadn't stomped on my phone on the way out, almost wished I could ask them what they were doing in LA. Waiting? Watching the boat already? Attacking right now? Or was it still delayed? I wondered if it even _was_ delayed, or if I was being told that in order to keep me calm.

I found that Elena had been right about physical contact with humans. The town wasn't large and apparently I was recognised as 'the bride' from the second I walked into the shop. This meant that I had to endure a great deal more hand shaking and back slapping than I was comfortable with. Maybe this was another reason Jeremy had sent me out here- to get me used to the world outside the property again?

As I wandered around, avoiding hugs, smiling politely, and shaking hands, I found myself yanking food I hadn't tried off the shelf. Then I took a look at it, how preserved and pre-packaged it was, forcing myself to throw it back there again. Australia was pretty awful with fake stuff in its food, preservatives, food colors and stuff, but America was mindbogglingly difficult to find food that was safe for us.

Us?

I swallowed, shutting my eyes as I held the fifth packet of potato chips, understanding. Even now, I couldn't even bring myself to buy food that might harm the baby. I could 'wait' but I'd regret it, every single day, I'd never stop wondering.

"You all right?" Jamie had found me, apparently done with her edge, her eyes fixed on me as if she had been standing there a while waiting to be noticed. "Anne?"

"These are junk." I muttered and stuffed them back on the shelf. "I want something potato, and salty, but they're filled with junk."

"We could get some chips on the way back if you want." Jamie offered, slowly.

"Thanks, that'd be great. Organic chips. Yum." I craved organic food, I suddenly realised, because the moment I'd said 'organic' I felt my stomach agree loudly. Organic vegetables, meat, whatever else was organic, I just wanted to _eat_ it.

After a while I couldn't stand shopping beside her anymore. People moving up to me, congratulating me, and Jamie must have known something about werewolf space because she tried her best to distract them for me. It worked sometimes, I'd hear a 'Isn't that Jamie Vegas?' and they'd leave me alone and go talk to the famous 'medium'. But when someone joked 'Are you pregnant' and I found two pairs of hands on my stomach while they kidded about the fast wedding, that was enough. I got away as politely as possible, pretending my phone was ringing, and went to wait outside. I sent Jamie a message when I got to a safe quiet ally beside the shop so she'd know and waited.

The smell of werewolf didn't alarm me at first, I was so relieved to be outside, but when the wind brought it again down the snow covered ally the hair raised on the back of my neck. I didn't know the smell.

I turned to see a man making his way down the ally straight towards me, eyes fixed on me. The face was familiar somehow, which set me on edge further, because it was usually the other way around. I recognised the smell before the face.

He stopped beside me, too close for my liking, and tugged out a cigarette.

"Want one?"

I shook my head and started towards the street again. This was a strange mutt in the town just outside of where Stonehaven had been. I was no idiot, I remembered what Elena had said about the pack seeming weak, and a mutt appearing here was no coincidence.

"Hey, don't be rude. I'm Tyler Lake. What's your name?" He jogged after me, overtaking me, half blocking the exit. He frowned, crossing his arms, eyes going up and down me from head to toes. "Don't believe I've met you before."

I wasn't sure about this, not at all. Every instinct said to avoid him, to go find Jamie, and to wait with her. Or to kick him hard in the groin, that urge was also there. He wasn't supposed to be here. "Is this your territory?" I asked, cool, crossing my own arms. Eyes fixed in his, refusing to back down, refusing to be taken as submissive.

"Seems it's fair game right now." He stepped closer, only an inch between us, inhaling in my scent. "When did they get another female?"

Not woman, I noticed, 'female'. Both fury and terror flared up at the close contact. I could step backwards, get him out again, but this was a challenge and I felt insulted somehow by his comment about this territory. "This is still pack territory, Tyler Lake, and you're not welcome."

"You're not Elena." He ignored my warning. A hand came to touch my hair, pull at it, twisting it closer. His head ducked down so that he could bring it into his nose. Another long, hard smell. "That bitch's got blonde hair."

I hit his hand, hard, away from my hair, forcing him to swear and let go, backing up, staring at his hand. One of his fingers looked a little out of place suddenly. "Ow, what the fuck!"

Right, this was the point I could move, and so I did. I moved past the shop and found that Jamie was still there, surrounded by people. I went in, she took one look at my face, and decided it was time to pay and leave. I agreed, relieved as she started towards the checkout, and we waited impatiently. I couldn't see that mutt out there but again I wasn't kidding myself. He was probably pissed off.

She went to load the car and I waited, as she dumped everything in, head twisting to smell for him. I couldn't tell though.

"Everything all right?" Jamie asked when we got into the car.

"Some mutt deciding to test the pack."

Jamie swore softly as she moved the car out and onto the road. "I can't fight him and I know that you're not supposed to right now."

I didn't ask how she knew, guessing that as Jeremy's girlfriend, she probably picked up on a lot around the house automatically. "I just slapped him a little."

We made our way out of town and along the slippery ice covered roads out into the forests and paddocks that filled the area. She was trying to hurry but it wasn't so easy with roads like these.

I saw him before she did but she saw the car first, a car pulled up on the other side of a curve in the road, hazard lights flashing. Jamie swung around to try and avoid him and we ploughed straight into a tree, brakes making it just a soft tap, but when she went to reverse, we were stuck. The wheels spun on the wet ground.

While she concentrated on that, my attention was on the bigger problem. Tyler was watching us, arms crossed, clearly not pleased with me or my 'slap'. I didn't know if Jamie even had powers as a necromancer to counter a werewolf's hand to hand strength but I didn't want to find that out the hard way.

"I'll talk with him, and you get the car out."

She glanced at me and then back to Tyler. It took Jamie a few seconds before she understood. "Oh no, you're not going. I'll..."

"Get in a fist fight with a werewolf? Find out if he can yank a door off a car?" She clearly did not think that was a good idea and neither did I. Nor did I like the way he walked, in the mirror, so slow, so casual, so easy, like this was something he was already expecting to leave the winner of. "Get the car out as fast as you can and I'll get in."

I slid out before she could argue and found my feet up to my calves in snow. That wasn't a good sign. He stopped, waiting, on the edge of the road.

I made my way up, circling around a little to put distance between us, and he moved closer. There wasn't any polite indifference in his face now. He was _pissed_.

"What are you, some kind of pet for Clayton's pet while he's off scaring kid mutts?" He moved closer. "And don't give me the 'you're brave speaking his name' bullshit, he's well past his prime, everyone knows it now."

He stopped in front of me, staring down at me, all six feet something of him towering over my five foot five. I didn't care how tall he was. My hands were on my hips as I glared up at him.

Rage filled me at his words. For Clayton, sure, but also for the way he had no respect of Elena who was the alpha in training, and for using the wordpet_ twice._ "I'd say you're brave for insulting _Elena_ with the word pet, personally, mutt. Get out of the state." This feeling, this sense of territory and protecting it, it was new. And it felt right. The bastard was in my pack's territory, hoping to claim it, insulting the alpha to be, insulting the pack's protector, and the alpha himself just by being here. I felt like the wolf in me was in charge now, fur raised, teeth bared, willing and able to warn him away. Not just for Elena, or Clayton, or the pack, but for the baby. The more this mutt thought he could walk in here and take over, the more threat I felt towards my baby.

He laughed, a low humourless laugh, turning for a moment. Then he twisted around, hitting me so hard my body twisted and my head rung, and I heard a car door open from where Jamie had sat. She wasn't sure what to do though. I knew she wasn't keen on getting close to him. I turned around to return my glare to him.

"You think you and her are anything more to us than something to mount when we get bored?" He yanked my jaw up, inhaling. "You're helpless without one of us men around."

More rage, but also something else started to rise. I sensed his lust, I knew what he wanted, and I knew that it was his weakness. So I pretended submissiveness, stepping back, eyes struggling to stay in his. He liked that."I'm just to be mounted?"

"This is all you're good for." He moved closed, grabbing my hand and guiding it to his crotch, making me rub it, his hand closed so tight around mine that blood cut off for a moment. "I think I'll take you, now your pack's finished, see how well you work. That'd be a nice little insult to Elena for what she did to my brother, take _her_ pet. Much better than Clayton's cock, isn't it? Do you like it?" His hand softened around mine when it was clear my hand wasn't going to move, guiding it, too filled lust to see the disgust in my face. It was the first one I'd touched since Nicks and I wasn't impressed _or_ turned on.

The second his hand gave mine freedom I hurt him then, nails clawing, ripping and tearing at flesh, all my strength and rage into it. He screamed and fell back onto the snow, blood on my hand, rolling around.

"Love it." I spat at him. This side of me scared me a little, this aggressiveness, this anger, but somehow the less I fought it, the more I liked it. "I think I improved it."

"You bitch! Whore! Fuck!" He grabbed for me,trying to yank me down, but it just took a kick to the head and he was unconscious.

There really was a lot of blood. I wasn't sure how much damage I'd actually done but when he grabbed for me again, I kicked his head hard, and he slumped down into the snow unconscious.

A car speeding along the road made me jump and I turned around to see a car skidding to a quick stop beside us. Reece jumped out, his nostrils flaring at the smell and sight of blood, seeing it on my hand.

"What the hell?"

He yanked my hand up but saw no wounds, Reece's eyes going to where Tylar lay unconscious in the snow, blood covering his groin and flowing into the snow.

"Tyler Lakes." I introduced him, as if this was a regular meeting, and he frowned and moved forward to turn the man onto his back, grabbing his hands and yanking them behind his back as he ripped away at the man's shirt for something to use.

"You better bloody well not have been trying to be bait." Reece snapped. He yanked harder on the man's wrists, the backs of the hands against each other, and yanked him into the back of his car onto a tarp as easily as he might have been lifting a bag of oranges.

I tried to find something to clean my hand, using snow and a puddle, cringing at the smell of it. Urgh. "I wasn't trying to be bait. I was trying to get back to the house and he followed. Then he tried to ...well, never mind, he won't try it again. Wait, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in..."

"Jeremy told me to come back. Halfway to the house he tells me to turn around and go find you in town." Reece shook his head and slammed the boot of the car down. "Is something going on? Your smell keeps changing."

I blinked. Did I? Yet another thing I hadn't even thought of with all of the changes going on. But with a semi concious werewolf in the boot I really didn't want to speak of it right now. "I'll tell you in a bit."

"Okay. Here, let me check that face." He moved closer, inspecting the bruise, before shaking his head lightly. "I'd offer to kick his ass for you but looks like you did a better job than he did. I keep forgetting you're like me, I keep thinking I need to protect you and Daniella."

"It was easier than I thought. He was too busy thinking about what uses a female werewolf had." I felt a bit warm at his praise, though I tried to keep that down, reminding myself that the fights I had been in were more or less flukes with idiots. I'd also have to accept protection for a few months. "Feel free to step in though."

"Where's Jamie?"

I turned to point at where she stood beside the car, face white, staring at us. "I'm here."

"Jamie, leave that car, it's stuck. Someone needs to drive this dickhead's car."

"We've got some shopping in the back." I told him. He nodded and moved to help Jamie transfer it to his back seat, throwing it in, and offered her the keys.

"I'll meet you both at the house." Jamie moved to drive his car, going ahead.

I slid in beside Reece and we pulled away gently. He reached out to pat my shoulder.

"Good work. Brutal, but good."

We drove for a while, his hand finding mine and squeezing, and I was confused. Wasn't he still supposed to be angry? "Aren't you angry with me still?"

"Huh? Oh. No, I haven't been angry for ages.." He seemed to have forgotten about it even. "If Daniella doesn't like how I feel then tough."

"It's been a crazy few days."

I nodded and we drove back, quiet. When we got back Jeremy was waiting and Jamie beside him.

"You shouldn't have fought." He said, eyes fixed in mine, arms crossed. "Not while you're pregnant."

Reece twitched, stared sideways at me, and an understanding came into his face. "Sorry, I was a bit late. She had him more or less unable to move."

"I wasn't going to let him come and attack the car." I replied.

"No, but you could have called me." Jeremy glanced down to my pocket. I blinked. Oh yeah, I had a phone. "Who is it?"

"Someone called Tyler Lakes."

"Let me see him." Jeremy moved to the boot and cringed at the sight, just a tiny movement. Tyler was awake again, staring at us with his eyes glazed with pain, swearing when he saw me. Jeremy glanced at Jamie and then to me. "Move back, I'll see what the damage is."

In other words, he didn't want the ladies to see the damage. Even though I'd caused it. But I nodded and we went inside, carrying bags in. Reece visibly flinched from where they were behind the boot.

"What the fuck did that bitch do to my cock?" Tyler's voice was high pitched, angry, but also scared. Scared? I must have done a hell of a lot of damage then. His voice drifted in the window again as we put things away. "What the fuck are you going to do about it? That bitch..."

"Gave you a warning. Come back and it'll be worse." Jeremy was shoving something at him, fabric or something. "Pressure and wait. We'll escort you to the state line. Come back and Clayton will greet you next time. Reece?"

"If you apologise for calling her a bitch, I might even let you ride in the front seat." Reece sounded cheerful now, confidant, pleasant When all he got was swearing, he slammed the boot down, cutting off the sound. "Too bad. I'll be home for dinner."

He took off. I had to guess it was in Tyler's car now because the sound was different.

Jeremy came back in, looked at me, and shook his head a fraction.

"He insulted Elena." I muttered.

His lips twitched and then he said, firm, very clearly ordering me. "No more fighting. At all."

"Even if I'm defending myself? That's all I was doing. He's the one who put my hand there." I hesitated but I had to ask, I was curious. "What did I do?"

"In self-defence, maybe, but I don't intend on putting you in any more situations that will require actions like those." Jeremy sat down and rubbed his head. When he spoke, he was shaking his head, like he was trying to get it out. "Enough damage to make any grown man cringe. Try and avoid cooking sausages or meatballs for a while, _please_. You all right, Jamie?"

She nodded and he reached out to her a moment, face softening.

"She did pretty good." Jamie glanced up at me.

"She did. Good work, Anne, just try and keep safe." He nodded. He was relieved she wasn't hurt, I suspected, so I got off a bit lighter. Jeremy was right though. I should have phoned from the shop and waited there.

Dinner was homemade pizza, which entertained the twins and relaxed everyone. It also was easy for me, all I had to do was cut up stuff and put it out, and let people put what they liked on their own pizza. I even had them cook it themselves, telling them what temperature and how long, and surprisingly no one burnt theirs when they went back to make a second and a third one. Reece came back and Daniella stared at him, just a moment, before she muttered something about wanting to read a book. She vanished upstairs pretty fast.

I found Reece in my bed, reading a book, waiting for me.

"What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on you for Nick. Come here." He yanked me over, hugging me hard, lifting me up and shutting the door behind us. "You worried us when you didn't answer your phone."

"I didn't feel like talking to him."

He blinked and slid down onto the bed, still holding me, and snuggled up to me there. I shut my eyes and breathed out, slowly, feeling that ease come back into my body with this close contact. It was so different from Nick but it was comforting.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you. I did ask you what to do with Daniella." He rested down beside me, watching me.

I shook my head. "What's happening in LA?"

"Oh no you don't, girl, don't change the subject." He frowned. No easy grin, nothing, just real genuine concern. "You're scaring the crap out of Nick with the reports from Jeremy. He said you hadn't spoken a word to anyone for two days. Well, until I showed up."

"Nick keeps changing his mind about being a father." There. I said it. "Nick wanted me to put it off. Then he seemed to get used to the idea. Now he's changed his mind again." I muttered.

Reece moved to slide my sweater and top up, inspecting. Unlike Sara, who I'd reacted to badly, and the people in the shop poking, somehow this was fine. I could smell him, smell that he was like me, and suddenly it was okay to be touched as long as he didn't break the boundaries. Reece was careful not to, keeping his hand near my bellybutton. I gazed down as well and blinked at it. It had gotten bigger in the past week and I hadn't noticed.

"Did he say why?"

I nodded.

"Well, why?" Reece leaned back again. He didn't seem angry, exactly, though he was a little confused. "You're pregnant. That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"He said something about not being ready, and that the pack wasn't ready, that it wasn't safe anyway, and that we should wait a few years."

"Well, what happened that night?"

"He drove my sister's friend to her hotel room. Apparently she'd lectured him the whole way about how to treat me and how to be a father."

Reece exhaled slowly. He seemed to understand and I suddenly did as well.

"So he just got freaked out."

I sighed. "Maybe I should have tried to reassure him more that'd it be okay."

"I'll tell Clayton to speak to him. Probably better to let them speak because he's been there." Reece yanked his phone out. "Don't worry, I'll just tell him what's happening and to check on Nick. He doesn't have to know it was us starting it."

I watched as his fingers flew across the screen. Reece was probably right, that this was better between them. Two grown men who'd grown up together.

"I don't think this pack will fall apart because of another baby. We're too busy getting used to having all these shelia werewolves running around."

I hesitated. The problem was that I agreed with him, partly. "Well... I agree with some of it. It's not safe, is it?"

"It'll never be safe. We'll always have mutts trying to bite our tails." He shrugged as if this wasn't a problem at all to him.

"And I'm being chased around by those assholes."

"You did a pretty good job today of showing the mutts exactly what would happen if they touched you." Reece lay back and shook his head. "I almost felt sorry for the dickhead. I don't think he's ever going to look down and not think about you."

"He was just clear about what his weakness was. I suppose I can't keep doing that. Once they know my weakness, the tables turn." Once my stomach got big, in other words.

"That's why you're staying here. With us. We protect you when you're vulnerable, you protect us when we're vulnerable. Good system, huh." Reece slid out of bed as he heard feet pass by. "I'm going to talk to Dani. You have a good rest."

Before bed, I went to make an email address and give Sara the photos she'd requested. Last week's photo had been assisted by Jeremy, who'd found it amusing, but I somehow managed to do the this week's one with the webcam on the laptop. Now that I looked at the two, I had grown, my stomach starting to show even without a full stomach. I emailed it to her, the two weeks, and crawled into bed.


	13. Answers

"Anne, wake up." Jeremy's voice, as he opened the door, was all it took to have me upright in bed, eyes wide, heart thumping. He flipped the light on. "It's four am. Come on downstairs, quickly. We need your help with Matt."

I slid out of bed in a hurry, not bothering to pull on pants with the long bed shirt coming down to my thighs, following him downstairs. I could hear it before I could smell it, finding myself staring in horror at Matt's tiny body thrashing, Pav's soft voice murmuring to him as he screamed and thrashed and convulsed. Was this what'd happened to me when I changed? I couldn't remember. His face and body were red, sweat pouring off him, the restraints hard around his wrists and ankles as he thrashed and fought and shook.

"Jeremy, there's some towels in the chest freezer in a garbage bag, and a box of ice packs next to it. Anne, can you fill a bowl of water, not too cold, just a touch of warmth to take off the cold, and bring a face towel with you?"

We nodded, moving fast, and when we came back she was still speaking to him softly, so softly, stroking his face as tears ran down his cheeks.

"Is this normal?" I asked, Jeremy's face tense, and he nodded.

Maybe it was normal for a werewolf, a grown man, or even a grown woman, but it wasn't right for a child.

"All right. Jeremy, gently fold the towels around him. Don't wrap too tightly, it'll make him panic, and tuck ice packs inside. We've got to get the fever down. Anne, sit here at his head, and use the cloth to wipe his face and forehead."

I sat down at Matt's head, his face held in place with further restraints to stop his head thrashing or hitting anything. It looked terrible, wrong, like we were torturing him, but I had to force myself to accept it. I took the water, squeezing it out, and wiped it across his face.

Pav took the cloth, showing me as she murmured, "Slow, gentle, like you're a wolf mother. Talk to him. Tell him anything that isn't going to scare or upset him. Maybe things about the future."

I nodded and copied her, my hands moving slower, fingers stroking his hair as I ran the damp cloth across his hot skin. It did seem to calm him down and I could put a second cloth across his forehead without him trying to get it off again. I spoke as I worked, soft voice, talking about the snow, about ice, about what kind of painting I'd like to do for his bedroom, about wanting to take him to a big toy store in New York when he got better, about how Kate and Logan were offering to decorate his bedroom with him, and show him the forest. He seemed to love his forehead being stroked, his hair, his ears, it relaxed him and I wondered if his mother had done this once. Maybe she had.

We worked for hours. I saw where he'd been bitten, swollen up again, the fever triggering the swelling. The man had bit his arm where he'd bit me and it looked terrible, puffy, standing up from the thin freckled arm.

Finally Pav got the result she'd wanted from the thermometer and sighed, relaxing.

"All right. You can take those towels off now. Anne, stroke down his arms and legs like you were his face, clean off the sweat." I nodded, moving slowly, understanding what she wanted me to do. He was so young and so muddled up in the bite, between wolf and child, that touch would comfort him. It was to help us bond as much as it was to cool him down and reduce the fever.

When I was done, he was relaxed, his breathing slow, the smell of neglect on his skin gone. Tears pricked my eyes as I watched him sleep, my own body still sweating and flushed from my own panic. On a deep level he knew it'd have been me. He knew my voice and he knew my smell. The fever had caused his body to react but it had been his wolf instinct panicking with so many bodies around him and his wolf instinct relaxing when it knew I was there.

Pav's head twitched up and she blinked.

"There's a car pulling up. A strange one."

Jeremy was cleaning up so I offered, hurrying into the laundry room for some pants out of the clean laundry, and went to open the door.

"Mam, is everything all right?" The older man asked, taking in my sweaty skin, flushed face, and the hurriedly pulled on pants that probably belonged to one of the bigger werewolves- it dragged on the ground around my feet.

The younger policeman nudged him, leaning in to whisper softly, "Craig, it's the bride. From the wedding." A human may not have heard that but I did and my cheeks went redder. They seemed to relax as they decided that all was wrong was that they'd yanked a bride out of her bed a week into her marriage.

"We were informed this was the address a Jeremy Danvers was living at."

Oh crap.

"It is but it's very early. Can I ask what it's about?" I smiled, trying to relax, but somehow I really hated them being here at all.

"It's to do with the fire on his property, and I'm sorry, but we'd prefer to talk to him early."

I nodded and turned around. They weren't invited in but they followed me in anyway, probably assuming that at seven in the morning it would be rude to leave guests out in the cold. Maybe that was so in the human world but I was more and more aware that on these properties there was a whole other set of rules.

"Please, wait in our living room. I'm sorry about the mess." I moved a few toys and such out of the way, dropping them in a cosy hole under a side table, before hurrying to find Jeremy.

"Couple of policemen, Jeremy." I said softly as I came down the stairs. He stiffened and stood up straighter.

Pav handed him one of the rags she hadn't used. "Here, wipe your face and step out a moment to breathe."

"Do you need me to stay here?" I glanced at Matt.

"I think the worst part is over now." Pav felt his skin with her hand, stroking it gently, and he grasped for it when she reached his hand, clinging. I felt a tinge of jealousy. He flinched when I touched him but at her touch he tried to return it. It was only natural but...

"Come on, you're the hostess of the house." Jeremy's hand brushed my arm and I nodded. He led the way upstairs, through the kitchen, and came out into the living room where they were openly staring at one of the toys that'd been ripped apart.

"Your kids?" They looked to me.

"My grandchildren." Jeremy informed them, voice and body radiating confidence and calmness. He sat down in his chair. "How can I assist, officers?"

"Would you leave a bucket of oil around the house, Mr. Danvers?"

"Not with a pair of five year olds, no. Is that what caused the fire?"

A nod, a stern look. "It seems that your fire was deliberately lit. We've found no traces though and we need to talk with you about this. Is it all right if we do it in private?"

He glanced to me and Jeremy nodded a fraction. I stood up and went back down into the basement.

Pav sat there, quietly, holding Matt's hand. She smiled as she saw my shape come into vision.

"He's sleeping all right now." Pav said softly. "His temperature's coming down too. Throw those towels into the wash and put some new ones in the freezer in a plastic bag."

I nodded and started to gather them up in the plastic bag, separating the ice packs, and headed upstairs for the laundry. I was shaking a little with relief as I worked, putting them in, and slumped against the laundry bench while the machine kicked in. Nothing had terrified me more than what I'd seen him go through. Nothing. They could threaten me all they like but all I had to remember was Matt like that and it wouldn't matter what they threatened.

Something moved outside the window in the door and I moved to it, pressing against the curtain, to see Reece and Dani some distance away together out in the trees. They were arguing again, their faces read, just about screaming and I was glad I couldn't hear it. I'd never seen him yell in my life and it was a shock to see it, but she was giving him just as good as he gave.

Reece was shoved hard, stepping back a few feet, before he shoved her against a tree, making me wonder if I should step in but my hand froze on the doorknob. He was kissing her. Hard kisses, the kind Nick liked to give when I teased him or frustrated him, the kind of kiss that came after being denied contact for too long.

I laughed and took my hand off the doorway.

I watched them, making sure Dani was giving as much as she got on this level too, and when she shoved him against another tree to repeat the treatment, I shook my head and turned around to go upstairs. They didn't need me gawking at them.

I felt my heart twist though, thinking of Nick, of how he loved it when I surprised him with that kind of kiss. It always stroked his ego and he was always very careful to make sure mine was stroked in return. I missed him, missed him so much it made my chest hurt, rather like an anxiety attack only with no panic. It felt strange to not have him around, not have him there beside me, even if he was scared of this baby thing. But he'd wanted to go. He might have stayed if I'd asked, I suspected he would have, but I would have never forced him to do anything. I loved him too much to do that, respected his mind, his instincts, his needs. If he didn't want to be a father I couldn't force him to try but I couldn't force myself to give up either. The reality was, as heart breaking as it was for me to admit, if he had to decide that, and I had to decide this, we wouldn't be able to work together on this one.

I tugged one of his shirts up when I got into our room and inhaled, slowly, shutting my eyes. I just wanted him to hug me right now. Or touch my arm. Or just look at me. Any of those things would work right now.

Jeremy came in and saw the look on my face, the shirt in my hand, and sighed. He sat beside me and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"How is it going on the west coast?"

"Elena's been working there as a receptionist for the night shift."

I snorted softly at the sight of her there, on the phones, cheery smile, the whole works. I supposed the night shift would be more to do with filing. "She was bait?"

"Originally. It already worked on a few mutts who weren't involved." His lips moved a fraction too, his own small smile. "Now she's overhearing some other things."

At my quizzical look he continued.

"The ship called in around ten last night reporting that two crew members had died of a high fever. They called in again at three with a claim of faulty equipment requiring extended time at sea ."

"That's an odd combination."

"Very strange. The humans there are noticing and there's even concern that it's a hijack."

I blinked and realised that wasn't good news at all. Humans with guns finding a container ship that had werewolves and their 'pets'? "Not good news then."

"The general agreement there is that if it was, they would be moving away, not staying put. There's no moves to intercept it for now." He squeezed my waist. "At least not from the human's perspective."

"You're thinking about doing it while they're at sea?"

Jeremy nodded. "Elena's the one calling the shots and yes, she is. I agree. Isolated enough, they're more or less trapped there. It may work well. For now they're stuck. I wanted to see how your progress was with the pregnancy."

I stood up and let him check, hands running across it, asking me questions about it. Had I had any nausea in the past week? Nope. Any pains? Nope. Any cravings? Organic food. Jeremy blinked at that one, and I shrugged.

"Don't ask me, it's all I thought about in the shop. Organic stuff. I can't even touch something if it has food colourings or preservatives or any other junk. I think if I tried, it'd be as bad as onions."

He smiled then, a small smile. "Good that your body is craving healthy things then."

"Well, there is such thing as organic chocolate and ice-cream, but more or less healthy. Is it normal to have no symptoms?"

Jeremy nodded. "I believe so. Your stomach's starting to come out now though and you might need some new clothing soon."

"No need to rush that, it's lasting all right." I sat back down beside him and we sat there quietly, relaxing.

"I heard that Nick wasn't interested in being a father." He spoke after a while.

"Who'd you hear that from?" I stiffened.

"Antonio, who heard it from Clayton, who got a text from Reece." He smiled a small tense smile. "I think Antonio and Clayton are going to talk to him together. What do you want?"

"I..." I hesitated. He squeezed my leg, comforting, steady gaze fixed on me. Whatever I said I knew he'd support. "I didn't know when he told me. That's why I couldn't talk much the past week."

"Understandable."

"But when Tyler attacked me, part of the reason I wanted to ...well, make it clear he wasn't welcome... was because I had this feeling that if I didn't establish it, that it'd risk the baby." I glanced down at Nick's shirt in my hand. My heart still hurt, it didn't want me to admit this, it didn't want me to say it out loud. "I can't force him to accept something, I love him and have to trust his needs. But I can't force myself either. Everything in my body wants to do this. Everything. Even the part of me that doesn't want to give birth, it still wants me to _try_."

A loud sound in the hallway, a heavy body falling against a wall, a giggle, a deep laugh, made us both jump. It was Reece and Daniella. Making for the room he shared with Noah and Morgan.

Jeremy blinked.

"They made up. You were right about needing more rooms." I shook my head slowly and he laughed softly, squeezing my leg.

"If Nick still can't accept it when the baby comes then..." He didn't want to ask, I knew that, but he had to ask as the alpha. Had to know if I was going to leave or stay.

"If I'm welcome, I'd stay. It's safe here. I know that the best security is numbers."

"You are welcome, and the baby too. Nick will have to deal with the child being apart of the pack, whether he wants to be a father or not." Jeremy added, quickly, as he saw the pain in my face, "It may take him a while to come back to liking it but it's possible he will."

"I hope so." I started to fold his shirt, a strange habit for me, swallowing. "I'm just trying to plan ahead. Know where I stand either way."

"I've discussed with Pav your desire for an ultrasound. We believe we've found a clinic that will help you get one without any additional questions so long as a trained nurse- Pav- is beside you."

I brightened up at that news and he relaxed as I seemed ot be happier. "When?"

"Two days. But that leads me to another question. When did you last change?"

I wished he hadn't asked. It just reminded me of what my body had been trying to tell me for days now. I twitched, suddenly restless, and he seemed to understand what that meant. "Too long ago. I've been trying to do other things. I'm not sure if it's safe."

"Elena could change. I'd feel better if you tried it in a few hours now the police are gone. I'll come with you."

I nodded. I felt like this was a big thing though, the alpha, and added, "Reece could..."

"It's all right. We'll let him talk with Dani today." He smiled again and stood up. "We'll be fine as long as we stay near the house."

I stood up and followed him downstairs where we got breakfast going.

"What did they want? The police?"

"There's an investigation. Your wedding had the entire guest list from Stonehaven there, and being family men, they reassured me that they personally doubted we'd burn down our own family home. I suspect they don't view any of us as the arsonists. But they were also very sorry- there seemed to be no trace left of the arsonist, the snow had covered up the tracks."

I sighed with relief at that. The wedding was good news for that part of it, at least.

"They were very apologetic about getting you out of bed so early as well." Jeremy chuckled softly. "Their wives sent over some food for you so you could relax on your honeymoon." He pointed at the fridge and I went to see several casseroles inside, both with absurdly big bows wrapped around the clingwarp.

"I hope you have their addresses to return the dishes."

"They said it it was all a present. So you could cook in them in the future for your own children."

I rolled my eyes and shut the fridge. Relax and then get down to the baby making part! The sad part was that they were so close to the truth with that, that it was more amusing than insulting, because I had to do both. Cook _and_ feed hungry mouths. "They could come in handy. Jeremy?"

"Mm?"

"Do you need help to rebuild Stonehaven? I want to buy this house."

He blinked at me and for a second, couldn't answer, hesitating. That look was back on his face from when he'd seen it burn and I almost wished I hadn't asked. But then he hugged me hard.

"Is that a yes? I can buy this house from you. Transfer the amount you paid. You could use it towards that one. After all the help you've offered me with money, and security, I want to help." I hugged him back,wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I more or less am all right with money but I was concerned about that, yes." He hugged me again, before moving back to rescue the spitting bacon. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I like this house. Now I want something secure, a land, a home, so I can start to ...I don't know, just get ready. Garden when it gets warm. I used to love doing that. Plant some roses. Just settle in somehow. Just let me know how much and I'll buy it from you but it'd still be for use of the Pack. I might have to extend it if the pack keeps growing though..."

He nodded. "I'll show you the price after the run. Normally, we're spread out a bit."

"Is Noah and Morgan in LA too?" I was thinking again about Reece and Daniella upstairs, hard to not do when I heard a very loud crash of something suddenly. "What about that other member I haven't met?"

Jeremy shook his head as he started to drop food onto a few plates. "Morgan had to return to work and Noah is in collage. They're in contact twice a week or more if urgent but they seem to be ignored largely due to their age. Karl, the member you haven't met, is remaining in New York. He has business there but is reporting mutt activity in and out of the city. And before you ask, no, there's been no activity in the city since New Years. The last mutt that tried to follow you two found Karl and changed his mind pretty fast about sticking around." His eyes went to the ceiling as well as there was another crash and he sighed. "You might have to replace a lot of furniture. Fair warning now."

Pav came up for breakfast, but Reece and Daniella remained upstairs, and Jeremy only vanished a minute to leave a plate at their door. Then the three of us, after he told Jamie where we were going and to call if there was a problem with Matt, moved to go outside.

Fifteen minutes later I rested down in the snow, stark naked, and tried to relax.

I knew Jeremy had said Elena had done this, I knew that she had two healthy active twins now, but anxiety still came as the change came. My body didn't care what Jeremy had said, or what I feared, it seemed to know exactly what it wanted. I just had to lie there, feeling the agony of the changes, the ripples of my skin moving, trying to force the anxiety to take a rest for a while. I'd see Kate and Logan. I knew that it was safe.

When I'd changed, I lifted myself up, waiting to feel for any pain or strange smells coming from below my tail. Finding none, I slid up, sniffing, only again to find nothing wrong. It was safe and I was fine. Of course I was. I had done this while I was pregnant, even if I didn't know, and there was nothing wrong.

Pav came bouncing out of the snow, finding me, and gently pounced at me. The two of us rolled around, snapping, biting, her play so gentle and careful of my stomach that I suspected she might have been afraid for me too. Her sight was clearly no better like this but her hearing... she whipped her head around in Jeremy's direction long before I'd heard his paws coming through the snow.

The three of us moved to run together, the simple joy in that enough, snow flying under paws, finding a frozen creek and learning from Jeremy how to get water from under the ice, how to move on ice, how to know if the ice was too thin. We watched as he tested it with each paw, tapping, putting weight down, jumping back a little as thinner ice cracked and made him back up slowly on his belly.

This was something Pav was again great at. Ice was deceptive, it could look one way and be another, but she didn't rely on her eyes. She relied on her keen sense of hearing to find out what it was doing. She could hear the ice's reaction long before we could and was scrambling back several times long before I heard the ice starting to crack. Before long she had her own little hole and lapped up the water eagerly.

I found it a little more difficult, as I was a little more heavy than her, but after five minutes and several scrambles off the ice using my claws, I found myself lapping up the cleanest and sweetest water I had ever tasted, so cold and _clean_. I moved back a little too fast, ice cracking under me, and was just a second too late, sinking paw deep in the frozen river. Woops. It didn't matter much though.

Jeremy then led us to a little clearing and we found ourselves being instructed in combat. No fighting that was serious, it was all play and gentleness, but again we were being instructed by the alpha and both of us did our best to memorise it. How to hide, how to chase, how to surprise someone. How to get loose of a wolf's teeth. Anyone watching would have thought this wolf, black against the snow, was teaching a couple of young wolves, a black one and a dark reddy golden one. Most mutts would have seen it as an irresistible challenge- the alpha alone with two females. Kill the alpha, take the females, but we were left alone and nothing came to challenge us.

When we were done and changed back, he continued to instruct us as we dressed, and we walked back in a quiet lesson about how to evade, how to distract, how to escape. When it was right he promised to teach us both how to fight. Pav would have to rely on her hearing instead of her sight. I would have to rely on my agility instead of speed, as apparently I was better at that than most wolves, but my hip made my running slower and I tired easier.

"How did you get that flexible? Did you do any exercises?" Jeremy asked me as we moved through the thick snow. He was helping, I was exhausted, a hand guiding me.

"I used to do yoga a lot. Even in the cell. It kept me from going mad." I explained as I followed his feet for the best parts of the ground. I was relieved to find my feet on the compact driveway suddenly. Pav stepped beside me.

"I think you should start doing that again. Exercise will help your body prepare for the birth." Jeremy relaxed and strode forward.

They went downstairs to check on Matt, who to my relief, was apparently still sleeping peacefully, his temperature back to a more or less better one. I needed a rest once we'd finished lunch, still exhausted, curling up in bed with Nick's smell still lingering on the shirt I held onto.

I shut my eyes and slept.

Another week passed. The news was that the cruise ship was still 'under repair' and apparently even Clayton was getting restless waiting. It didn't seem right, somehow, it made no sense. There were no more deaths reported onboard but apparently, according to what Elena had overheard, it was unusual for a ship to spend that long. Money was being lost by investors and it was starting to become a problem that was getting too big. They weren't keen on going in though- the boat was still in the deep sea and to hire a boat in that kind of water would have involved at least one human in the trip in and out. So they had to wait until the ship came into the bay and out of the rip.

Jeremy kept us distracted. Jamie and Pav came with me for the ultrasound, Pav acting as the nurse, and I found myself hearing the thump thump thump of a very strong and very alive heart.

Then another heart.

Two babies in the same womb, facing each other against each other, their hearts beating fast, squirming and wriggling every time the white proddy thing pressed against the stomach. Both perfectly at the stage they were supposed to, Pav was reassured, no problems, nothing that was a concern. Both babies were not moving in the right direction for us to see what gender they were but I was too overwhelmed by the sight of the scan to care.

We drove home, only a soft 'guess multiples is natural for werewolves' from Jamie as she looked at the photo we'd been sent back with. There was a little DVD there as well. I'd started using the butter stuff Sara had suggested for me after the third photo- it had gone out again and it scared me a little.

No one was around when I got home, dishes showing dinner had already happened, and I'd crawled into bed before I heard people coming out of their rooms. Something seemed wrong, tense, but I was exhausted and too overwhelmed to get up again.

Pav woke me just after one in the morning. She said softly that they were finally making a move on the west coast and she needed me to sit with her. I shot up and was dressed in a second, holding her hand as we went down the stairs, feeling my own anxiety about Nick's safety start to surface.

Jeremy said that the ship had started to move in over the past six hours and we'd have to wait for more news. He tried to distract us by having me bring out the ultrasound information. It worked for a little while. He seemed amused, though not that surprised, when he saw two babies in the photo. He'd suspected that with my stomach starting to behave like Elena's stomach- expanding slightly more rapidly than expected- that perhaps there was more than one again. That was why he'd decided to get a ultrasound. He didn't want to be surprised by a second baby again when he was trying to care for a first newborn.

"They're heading in right now?" I asked, as I slid into the table, and he nodded.

"Called in ten minutes before Pav woke you up. The ship is moving slow enough so it might be an hour or more. I'd guess two or three."

Daniella came down, followed by Reece two minutes later, the two of them still trying to pretend as if there wasn't something going on. It was impossible to hide, they kept staring at each other, brush against each other by 'accident', and she seemed to stiffen when Reece came over for a cuddle and a kiss on the forehead.

I showed him the ultrasound and he stared at it.

"It's cute. Um. Where is it?" He stared at it blankly.

I pointed at one of the baby shaped blobs and he went 'Ooh. Cute'.

Then I pointed at the other and he blinked.

"Is it that long already?"

Pav snorted and moved to go check on Matt while I explained it. When I did, he laughed, hugged me again, and made me explain which end the heads were and the feet were. Finally he seemed to get what was baby and what wasn't.

"Are they both boys?"

"No, that's the cords." I replied and Reece nodded. "They didn't want to show us their genders."

"Smart babies."

_Babies_. Good god, the word sent shivers down my spine. I was starting to get used to the idea of one but suddenly it was two. Maybe this should have been something I expected, because wolves had litters of two or three, but I hadn't expected it at all. And giving birth to two? Without Nick?

"So the moral of this is, if you're sleeping with someone, wear protection." Dani shot Reece a look who shrugged, grinned at her, and looked away to fiddle with a sandwich he'd fixed for himself.

Jeremy took the DVD, claiming he wanted to copy it, to his room while we sat around the kitchen table and waited. Maybe he'd got another phone call, maybe he wanted a distraction, I didn't ask and he didn't tell us what he really wanted. Tension rose with every minute.

An hour passed. I had to go to the bathroom, came back down, and the only thing that changed was that we moved to the living room, stretching out on the soft furniture, waiting, dozing, like a bunch of wolves napping but alert to every sound, every vibration, every whisper that we heard inside the house and out, waiting.

Another hour. I decided it was time to eat and we made coffee, the home made pizzas and spooned out ice-cream. Jeremy reappeared then with the DVD and Reece yanked it off him to take a look. Reece was fascinated, apparently very ready to become their uncle, but Daniella not so interested. With the twins asleep upstairs, and Jamie moving up to check on them every half hour, we could openly look worried.

The third hour came and still nothing. I needed to sleep by this point, finding by now that I needed to have a quick nap, however anxious or stressed I was, my body was too tired to keep me going. I fell asleep against Pav, who had fallen asleep just a moment before I did, and when I woke it was well into the fourth hour and someone had carefully placed me on a single blow up mat that was set up as a bed. Pav was stretched out on the couch. I lay there, watching everyone, finding that everyone was awake and alert. Something had stirred us all awake at the same time, our sleepy eyes blinking in confusion as Jeremy lifted up the vibrating phone and headed outside into the darkness of the night for privacy.

I slid beside Pav on the couch and watched, waiting, no one seeming to know but Jeremy what was happening. Pav moved closer and grasped my hand hard, our arms brushing, her face white. There was no more pretending to be fine for her, not now, she was waiting for news of Violetta. I gently pulled her closer, her head resting on my shoulder, her body shaking. Weeks and weeks and weeks of suppressed worry was showing now.

"Can you hear him?"

Pav shook her head as her fingers clutched to mine. I noticed that she'd put a small plain ring on her ring finger, nothing special, just something she'd picked up as a joke at the shops from a little toy machine. I thought it was a joke. Maybe she really had wanted to get a ring to wear for Vi.

"We'll hear soon."

"Who are you waiting for?" Daniella didn't seem to understand. She looked from me to Pav, confused.

"Her wife. Violetta. They were together in there." I answered, when Pav didn't seem to be able to answer, her eyes shutting at the name.

"Wife?" A small flicker of understanding in Daniella's face like she'd finally clicked onto why Pav had no interest or intention towards any of the werewolves here. Married woman. Married lesbian woman, in fact, clearly no threat towards Daniella's relationship with Reece. "I didn't meet her. They didn't let us mix between groups."

"We know." I stroked Pav's shoulder. "I only met Pav the day I broke out."

Minutes ticked by as Jeremy stayed outside on the phone. A sweat was breaking out on me now, fear, terror for Nick, knowing that whatever was going on, he was in the middle of it all. Of course his father would protect him and so would Clayton but …

Jeremy came back inside and moved to sit down. The phone was shut.

"The ship was stopped again just outside of the bay, suddenly, claiming another engine fault. There was no way on board with a hired ship, as we'd hoped, and so it was done with a few members of the Russian pack who'd come to join them." As Jeremy spoke, we listened, the quiet in the room only disturbed by the sound of cheerful music upstairs. It seemed strange, given the mood in the kitchen, even wrong to have it there. No one complained though. "Karl was involved in assisting the breaking in as the ship moved in the dark and the bribing of the pilot."

"Couldn't they hear the helicopter?" Daniella asked as she found Reece's hand. No more attempting to pretend to not care, they clasped hands, arms brushing against each other. He raised an eyebrow and she flushed slightly.

"A pilot is a person has a different role on a ship. They also required an engineer and as one of the Russian pack was exactly that, he pulled some strings and gotten the job. They used a pilot boat to get onboard."

"And?"

"There was only two mutts on the ship with their captives and equipment. They had bitten the men with the fever by accident while trying to change. These men were, as it turned out, the ones most experienced with repairing the ship. The ones isolated in the engines."

"What about who they found?"

"They found only dead women at first and one dead doctor with them in the container. It seemed that they'd caused a delay by accident which meant they didn't have enough supplies to hide and care for their captives. Seven women. Died, it seemed, from complications with the changes, or from just plain neglect, but it's hard to know." Jeremy talked low and calm but I wondered how angry he was. His hand was clenching, just slightly, around his phone. "Some of which were partially eaten."

Pav's face went white. She was shaking now, so hard that she had to put the water down before she spilt it all. But he went on, so calm, so soft, like he was forcing himself to speak without emotion. Her hand grasped mine so hard I felt it protest.

"There was also another container there. This one had live women, humans, some just teenagers. Not connected to the mutts, as it turned out, but being smuggled in for the sex trade industry from Russia and other poorer areas of Europe. Seemed that that particular ship's captain had been accepting dubious loads for some months. There was one female werewolf hiding with them. Protecting them. She and Clayton had one hell of a fight, apparently, he actually had trouble and can't get her to leave the container. She is Russian and she seemed to know you, Pav. In fact, she refuses to leave the women until she sees you through a video phone."

Pav burst into tears then, as he offered the phone, and we heard a distinctly Russian accent come from it, loud and echoy, a red head standing in the middle of a dim light. "Parvani?"

She took the phone and cried into it, loud hiccuping cries, the weeks of anxiety bursting. "Vi- V...Violetta?" The second she saw Vi'a vivid red hair, probably the only thing she could make out easily with her eyesight, she slumped against the couch, relief taking away her ability to control her body.

"Are you safe? Are you still sick? Are these ones treating you all right?"

Pav nodded, shaking, struggling to hold the phone, staring into the face of a wild looking red head who was having trouble standing herself. I shifted closer to hold it for her, so her hands could fall down and wring the skirt she was wearing. "Yes. Yes, they saved my life. I'm all right now. I'm all right. Are you all right?"

The voice, so loud before, softened. "What about these ones? Are they the ones that protected you?"

"Show me their faces and I'll tell you." She had me move to her side, so that I could be her eyes, and repeating what I said. She wasn't ready to tell Vi about her eyes yet, apparently. I saw them, dark in the light, but I knew their shapes as well as I knew my own. Clayton and Elena, with a pair of men who I didn't know, probably the Russian pack. Clayton looked injured somehow, bent over a bit, his arm in a funny shape, something dark coating his head and face. "We know them both. Clayton and Elena. The other two, if they're with them, it's okay. You can trust them."

I moved away as Vi said something softer to her, in Russian, and Pav answered it with her own language. Then, "Come home to me. Please."

"All right, put me back to the alpha." There was that strength again, that authority, and I handed the phone back to him. "We'll call you back soon." I heard Clayton mutter something loudly, echoing in the container, but it cut off as Vi apparently hung up on Jeremy before he could answer. Very rude, it shocked even Reece, but Jeremy shrugged lightly and didn't seem bothered. She had spent months learning to not trust 'alphas' and I suspected he wasn't the least bit surprised.

"Is Clayton all right?" I asked as he put the phone down on the coffee table.

"Like I said, she surprised him and beat him up just as good as he did to her. They're both _fine_." He added, quickly, as Pav's eyes widened. "Both are going to be a bit sore but they're fine."

"What about the mutts?"

"Violetta killed one, the mutt who captured her and Pav, when he was running. The other one is still loose on the ship and they're trying to locate him before it gets into port." He hesitated. "The problem is that the alpha and two of his supporters, according to Vi, skipped ship a week ago after his captives died. According to her, if they weren't on the ship, they probably were thrown overboard in the container, she did remember several very loud splashes and screams. We don't know how he got out, she only used the chance to escape herself when they were gone." That flicker of rage was back in his face again, at the mention of how the last captives of my 'owner' had been treated, but he controlled it fast.

I swallowed and nodded. Somehow that bastard seemed to keep evading us. Over, and over, and over. And what was with him abandoning them? All of them? Was he going to start again? "So in other words, no late night walking just yet."

"Yes, that's right. Rule still stands. You go with a member of the pack or a close friend of it or stay here. Excuse me, I need to go upstairs and discuss some details with the Russian alpha." He moved upstairs. Pav was still shaking, but with relief now, her face regaining some of her color. I went to make her a cup of tea and sat with her as she drank it, her body relaxing somewhat, shaking her head slowly.

"You all right?"

"I'm happy." Pav smiled at me, the first smile that reached her eyes, as she clasped the warm drink. "I thought I'd gotten used to the idea that she might have died and there she was, fighting to stay alive, resisting them every single inch of the way. She was always so strong."

"I'm so relieved for you." I hugged her hard, and she hugged back. Tears were leaking out again.

"Help me up to my room, would you? I think I need to have a sleep." She stood up and I stood up with her, taking her up to the room she shared with Daniella, helping her into the bed. Daniella probably was unofficially sharing with Reece by now, her scent fading from the mat on the floor, which meant Pav could get some real sleep.

Jeremy came to get me as I came out of the room and I was guided into the room he'd taken over. It suited him surprisingly, the old master bedroom. I had half hoped it'd become the nursery with the two french doors. But we had time for that. He shut the door behind us.

"I sent the video to Antonio. Of your twins. I wouldn't normally interfere but..." He smiled somewhat. "...sometimes I'm his best friend. I hope you don't mind."

I shook my head. "No. I don't think I would have even thought to do that. Did he like that?"

"He was _hoping_ that twins were a werewolf thing. I didn't tell him what was in it and it was one hell of a boost for him to see it." He patted the seat beside him as he stood. "It's crazy. Twenty years ago I was trying to get rid of Elena because we had a rule stating that no pack member would have a long term relationship. I assumed that meant I'd never have a lover, that there'd be no children, and ..." Jeremy shook his head. He sat beside me on the desk, gazing out the window. "I don't think I realised how unhealthy the pack was with just male werewolves. Like a pack of male wolves who had no mates to hunt beside, who stole pups then had no clue how to raise them. Our history in that book-" He nodded at the Legacy which was on the desk beside him, "-shows that nearly all the time the pack suffered for it."

"I grew up with dogs. My parents bred them." He glanced down at me as I spoke, slowly, carefully, still respectful that he was the alpha. "When people took a puppy away too young, or didn't expose them to all kinds of things in the world, they were aggressive, nervous, and more likely to bite. Their mother and their siblings were the most important ones to teach them boundaries and exposure to the world, to children, to cars, to trains, to the world, made them face it with confidence. So my parents would only release the puppies to their owners when they were ten weeks old after four weeks of gradual exposure to the world. They had a reputation for breeding the most reliable working dogs. Not pets, not lapdogs, dogs that could work as guide dogs, or cattle dogs, or other jobs where they needed to be steady and follow their leader."

Jeremy nodded slowly. "It might be a little like that, as little as I want to compare a wolf to a dog, needing to change the way we interact with the world. But speaking of a new world, you said you studied hypnotherapy. Do you think, even without finishing the course, you're able to practice?"

The change made me blink and I nodded. "The last few modules were on running a practice and health and safety. Important stuff but not about the basics. I could do it."

"I've ordered them to bring back the other mutt alive, if possible, which may mean they'll have to drive a good five or six days to bring him. I'd like for you to demonstrate on him, get information out of him, and then Clayton will use his tools to test that." I refused to feel hurt at that, that I had to 'prove' that what I did was right, because this was new. Most people still thought hypnotherapy was just a trick.

"Usually it's memories I get. Sometimes not even the ones you want. Sometimes they're memories he needs to revisit."

"Could you get memories from the time he had in that pack?"

I nodded slowly, thinking it over. "I could probably direct him. It may just take a while. As a practitioner assisting with healing, I shouldn't do that with clients, but this isn't the same thing."

"I have very little sympathy for werewolves that behave as he did, so no, it's not the same." His fingers tensed around the desk. Jeremy glanced at the phone as it started to vibrate. "I'll meet you downstairs."

Downstairs, Jamie was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee, chatting with someone on the phone. Her agent, from the sounds of it, something about a contract. Six in the morning and they were already contacting her? Shesh. I remembered that here she was famous somehow. It sounded like it was almost time to return to filming a show. That'd make it difficult with the twins, if she had to go, they adored her and seemed less anxious about how long their parents had been away. They didn't like it, like any five year olds wouldn't, but they accepted it with their Auntie Jamie in the house.

Reece and Daniella were watching a movie, the volume soft, almost falling asleep as they waited. No one, except Pav, were quite ready to relax. And Pav had earned the right to her sleep.

"They've captured the last mutt." Jeremy said, coming in behind me, the phone still against his ear. "On their way now. Elena and Clay are on the next flight over, Antonio and Nick bringing in the mutt."

"Where will he go though?" I really doubted that they'd move Matt.

"Reece?" Jeremy's eyes went to him. Reece slid up quickly, untangling Dani's arm from him, her body still slumped in sleep.

"Yep?"

"That shed out the back. You've got five days to make sure it's weather proof, sound proof, and escape proof. Up to the challenge?"

Reece grinned, teeth flashing in the dim light of the TV, and nodded. "I'll get cable too, if you like, make it a nice little retreat."

Jeremy's lips twitched as he shook his head. "Not this time. Get some rest and then start today. The sooner we have it ready the better."

Reece nodded, standing up, and very gently lifted up Daniella from the couch. She didn't even stir, trusting the scent of the one moving her, just shifted closer to him and resumed her slow even breathing.

"You too, Anne, get some rest."

"Is anyone hurt?" I asked, hesitating, not even sure why I'd asked.

"Bruises, a couple of broken bones, some other wounds. Nick hasn't been hurt badly and is fine." He seemed to know what concerned me before I did. "He does have a broken finger. It'll be healed by the time he gets here."

I nodded, relaxing, and finally felt like I could sleep now. So I went upstairs and tried it, crawling back into bed, Nick's shirt against my pillow.

I woke up late that morning, sweating, caught up in the sheets, a soft cry of fear muffled by a blanket that'd gotten caught over my face. I grabbed for Nick and didn't find him. Fear, until I remembered he wasn't there, that he was far away.

Sliding out of bed, I moved to gaze at the ultrasound image instead, using that as a point of calm, staring at it. It had been a nightmare about my 'master' again. This time he'd been raping me, claiming that he was the father of the twins, and it had sent my flight instinct into high alerts again.

Sleep wouldn't work again anyway, it was too late in the morning, so I went onto the laptop instead. I went to read on twins and found my own anxiety raising at the articles. How to breastfeed two at once. How to put them into bed so they didn't die in their sleeps. How to get them to sleep through the night. Scary scary stuff.

Youtube was what alerted me to what Nick had been doing. It had, in the recommended history, all kinds of bizarre videos relating to birth. Not pregnancy, but _birth_. I opened up the brower history and stared.

The night before Nick had changed his mind, he'd been online. Maybe I should have felt bad about this, spying on him, but then if he hadn't wanted it found he wouldn't have left it there. It started off with a google search for 'birth'. That seemed to lead him to a video of an actual birth. From there, he seemed to find more youtube births, some of the images making me _cringe_. Who on earth would put their own birth on youtube so open to be viewed and criticised? Maybe they were hoping it'd help others? I wasn't sure how.

After that, he'd stumbled onto a video about angels. A baby that'd died soon after birth. A woman that'd died giving birth. These videos took up hours, like he'd been transfixed, watching births, watching babies born, and then finding the ones that hadn't made it. Finding women who hadn't survived.

Then Nick had googled 'birth problems'.

There was a Dad's site about this. The first line read,_ '_**_While the vast majority pregnancies end in a normal birth, things do not always go to plan. You may be faced with anything from a premature _****_birth to a Caesarean section...'_**

**Once he'd finished scaring himself with that, he'd googled 'birth complications stories'. **

**The rest of the night, all he did was read these stories. One after another after another. Miscarriages, breech births, stillborns, the mother dying, tears, ruptures, sudden c-sections, all kinds of terrible horrifying things that made birth seem like an absurd risk to take. **

**The last thing he searched for was 'chances of complications with twins home birth' and found an article about what could go wrong. **

**In other words, he'd also assumed it was twins, like his father had, and he was ****_scared_****. Not about him, not about his life, but about me. He'd spent all night scaring himself silly about the birth. I could picture him that morning sitting there on the edge of my bed, like he'd been up all night, pale and with dark shadows under his eyes. It was a side of Nick that I didn't like as much, a side he only really showed me, the side that tended to worry a little too much.**

**I shut it and sighed. Breathed, slowly, wishing he'd just told me this. But then, I hadn't asked him either, I'd just let him speak. Was I afraid of this? Hell yes. So much so that I wanted to find out myself what to expect from birth, how it was done, what was useful to help it, things like that. I didn't want to watch youtube videos of real births. I'd never attended a birth, I'd never thought about it before now, but I knew that it was going to be dangerous. I knew that women used to die all the time from it. **

**That didn't scare me from trying. Neither did the 'pelvis broken and walk with a walking frame' story or the 'left to give birth with two broken hips and a broken spine' story. Or any of the other seriously shocking and heartbreaking stories that he'd looked at for a good fifteen minutes. **

**But for him, who could see a way out of this, who had spent all night reading stories about the pain of it, seeing videos of it, reading stories about how badly it could go wrong, after half an hour with Sara who said god knows what to make sure he treated me right...**

**I wished that Elena or Clay could drive back with Antonio. I wanted to tie Nick down onto that bed and ...well, I didn't know, but ask him outright. What was wrong? Then he could tell me. Say it out loud. Not just leave it in our internet history for me to find out and understand.**

A knock came from my door and Pav came in, sliding the door closed behind her, and sat on my bed. She looked so much better than I'd ever seen her, well rested for once, her long dark hair soft and silky, wearing one of the 'bollywood' warm orange and yellow top over jeans instead of the black or dim colors she usually put on. She might have made fun of the 'bollywood' things but it seemed that she secretly had liked them. The colors, at least.

"You look much happier."

"Thankyou. I had a favour to ask though. Would you help me arrange a Hindi wedding? Not now or in the next few months. But I want to marry her properly in my culture. Invite my parents and family." This clearly meant a lot to Pav.

"Of course, but I don't really know how."

Pav dismissed that with a small wave. "I'll help you. We'll make it work together. Is something wrong?"

I told her what I'd found and she sighed, shifting back.

"I worked for a short time in the birthing unit before we were taken, I was going to return to my studies to become a midwife, and yes. There were problems. Every day, a new problem, a new emergency."

"Helping me relax about my own birth?" I joked, but I swallowed.

"Yes. Half the time, the emergency or problem was the father. No, I'm not saying he shouldn't have been there, but they did tend to panic unless we gave them a task to do. A job. Something that they could physically do. Stoke her face. Hold her hand. Get her some icechips. Little tasks that kept them busy. I found that the mother would almost always struggle with the birth if the father was panicking. She would have more chance of getting hurt. His fear would make her muscles tense and they need to be relaxed as much as possible during that part for the right muscles to work properly."

I nodded and went to sit down beside her. This was better than internet birth videos. "So I need to relax and it should be okay?"

"You'll find it harder than it sounds. But yes. Nick's reaction is a little early, maybe, but I think it's the fear of that moment instead of the baby. The moment all three lives are being risked. You and the babies. Twins during a home birth are particularly difficult to deliver, which was why I needed to know what and where they were."

I shivered at the words 'particularly difficult to deliver'. That meant that she was concerned. She squeezed my arm and wrapped hers around it.

"It'll be all right. I know for the moment what I'll need to do. When we get closer I'll ask Jeremy for another scan to again see where they are. And I'll speak to Nick about what he can do to make sure your body is ready. Jeremy mentioned Yoga, didn't he?"

I nodded and she moved forward, hands brushing across the silver laptop on the dark desk, opening it. Pav sat back. "Look up pregnancy yoga videos for the first trimester. Next week is the second, already, but don't be worried about that just yet."

I did what she asked and found a lot there. Pav made me play them, listening to each woman's voice, before she found a woman she trusted enough.

"Try and do these every morning. I'll ask Nick to take you for a walk after every daily session, that the exercise will build up your fitness for it, and perhaps that task will give him something to do instead of sitting around staring at the computer thinking about how bad it'll go."

"He might come back and not want the baby." I muttered but she shrugged.

"Doesn't matter. I'll tell him it's for your health. He can pretend there's no baby if he likes but it may calm him down a little. Hysterical fathers to be are never quick to calm down." Pav stood up. "I'll let you start them today and speak to Jeremy about getting a mat. You'll need it as you get a little heavier."

So for the next five days, that was how I passed my time. Breakfast with required pills and muscle building shake, visiting Matt, the morning yoga, a walk with whoever wanted to come for a walk, lunch, and then starting to work on Matt's bedroom. He was in and out of fevers again but none of them as high as the one earlier, just keeping him still. And he didn't react badly to me any more. He didn't like me near him, if he was awake, and he didn't speak a word, but he had stopped going into rages and apparently that was a good sign. Even better, he would sometimes point at a book, and sit there quietly while I read. As a wolf cub he tolerated me nearby, so long as I didn't overstep his boundary, going about whatever he wanted to do or play with as if I didn't exist. Apparently his tail was the best toy offered to him.

Reece worked on the shed and it didn't take long to become what he wanted. Soundproofed, bars on the windows, bars under the shed- he'd lifted the entire thing up and dug underneath to hide bars that bent up at the edges of the shed- and one hell of a lock for a simple shed.

Clay and Elena came back on the second day and were fairly happy by the news about the ultrasound. Not surprised- Antonio had accidentally spilled the beans to them- but happy. More pups running around the pack? It seemed such a natural state for a pack to have. I'd never seen Clayton so cheerful. He wasn't openly affectionate towards me, not usually, and would pretend to be doing something else, but I always felt his attention on my back. The few times I'd thought he wasn't around and I could empty the bin- a fraction of its heaviness for a werewolf- I'd find him pushing me aside as he took it out of my hands.

I'd asked Elena, after three days of this, if this was the wolf nature again. She had to bit her lip to stop from laughing as Clayton glowered at me, again taking out a bin, and nodded when he was gone.

"Your mate isn't around so he's watching out for you on behalf of his pack-brother. Just let him do it. He'll be more cheerful if you do."

I let him and she was right, when I asked for help, he was more than eager to do it. Not that Claton was taking my orders, there was no way we were in roles that'd allow that, but as long as I requested some help and asked the general vicinity around me, he usually would step in or give Reece such a _look_ that Reece would scramble to his feet and help.

Elena would come on the morning walks with me and so he'd naturally either be with us or with Jeremy.

I paid Jeremy for the house, allowing him to get to work with rescuing as much of Stonehaven's stones and building materials as he could and discuss a rebuild with a builder. He'd decided to use as much of the old material as he could but wanted new material too. Old and new. Their home, rebuilt, starting again with the new kind of pack. He'd found a company that built modular homes as well as regular homes and with some negotiation, they agreed to rebuild Stonehaven as it had been, but he'd asked them to connect a moduler home on the side, extending the entire house by twice its length. That way he had his studio, he had spare rooms, and he had space. The studio, he was reassured ,would have large opening windows into into the outdoor and garden area. I'd been brought in for that exact reason. Jeremy heard that I liked to garden and suddenly I was officially in charge of landscaping. He had them working so fast that they'd start the second the plans were re approved, though with Stonehaven already approved, that wouldn't be hard. They said no more than two weeks at the most and would be on the site the next day to start to clear materials and sort out what could be reused. It took him two days on the phone with them, and on the website, before it was finally organised and the job was agreed on. There was a kind of relief at the news in all the pack. Stonehaven was going to be rebuilt.

As good as that was, it did limit our ability to run over there for a long time, and it was made clear that we could not leave this land's boundaries from now on. We could walk on that other land, if we wanted, but there would be workers and builders there. Clayton was forbidden from going over because of his wolf nature- he wouldn't have been able to tolerate humans trodding on our land that well. Equally, Jeremy warned the company that the boundaries around this property had to be respected as there was occasionally hunting and that he didn't want there to be any _accidents_. They were hasty to reassure him that they'd stay off this land and be too busy working to explore any of that forest.

All of this kept me semi-distracted, even the run with Elena and Pav seeming to help with that, and I had no shortage of books on hypnotherapy thanks to Jeremy's interest, but when the fifth day came, no one could even be bothered trying to look like they weren't waiting for the car.

No one really left the house, except to go outside and get more wood for the fire, that same funny tension. We were concerned about the escaped Mutts in that pack, of course, but we wanted our own pack here safely. Karl had returned to New York, apparently, and there was no activity there as usual. Noah and Morgan were safely up north studying. That only left Nick and Antonio, Violetta insisting on going with them as she wasn't comfortable on a plane, as well as the captive.

I showered and slipped into my room, ignoring the voices below, so that I could get dressed. I slipped on the maternity pants. They were another surprise that Elena had brought- she'd probably guessed that I'd need them at some point and they were more comfortable now, the elastic not too tight around my stomach. They didn't look like maternity pants either with the baggy top and jacket I wore in the cold climate, but they didn't dig in like the jeans were starting to do, or leave red marks on my skin. My pride hated it but I figured pride could wait till this was over and _then_ I'd put the jeans back on. I stared at my belly in the mirror, still topless, prodding it under the elastic, wondering how long it'd be before I couldn't hide it below clothing.

Then I turned around and found Nick standing there. He stared at me, so white, so exhausted looking, bruises fading along the olive skin on his arm, and so _real_ that I couldn't move. Had he gotten in while I was showering? I could have missed the car, I supposed.

He stood so still I wondered if it was a trick. A life size cutout of him. But I could smell him, his fresh scent so strong in my nostrils that I felt a little dizzy, see his breathing as he stood there, his chest rising and falling faster than normal, see his nostrils flare as he took in the smell of me.

"I saw the video." He said, finally, like he had trouble speaking. "Dad showed me."

"I saw your internet history. Youtube dobbed you in." I replied, struggling a little myself, crossing my arms and then uncrossing them, restless, not sure what to do.

He seemed to realised I was still half naked and he was in an open doorway because he glanced back, slid inside further, and shut the door. But he stayed there. On the other side of the room.

"Did you eat a lot of lunch?" He glanced down to my stomach again.

"No. I haven't had lunch yet."

"I can see it." Nick stated.

"Me too."

A loud scream and squeal from outside the door made us both jump, Kate finding Antonio, who had come upstairs. Nick's hand found the doorknob as he stared at me with that pale face, those narrowed eyes, staring at my stomach like it was going to kill me right there and then.

Finally, he moved back, sliding out of the door, and I heard his feet go downstairs. My heart shattered all over again as I heard him go.

Antonio knocked, I guessed, so I hurriedly pulled on a shirt.

"Come in."

It was Antonio. He opened the door but had raised his eyebrow in the direction Nick had passed, shaking his head, before he came in and yanked me up in a big squeezy spinning hug.

"Twins!"

"Glad you're happy." I muttered. Tears leaked out on my cheeks and he put me back down, staring at me, confused.

"You all right? What did Nick do? Was this about what he said to you when he left?"

I nodded, swallowing, and he frowned. "How did you know? I'd talk to him if he just stayed put for ten seconds but he doesn't even want to be in the same room as the bump."

"Everyone knows. Let me see this dangerous bump." Antonio knelt, tugging the pants down a little, listening to it with his ear. He grinned. "I don't hear any teeth. Or growls. My grand-pups must be asleep."

"Grand pups?" I smiled then, a small smile, at the genuine happiness he was showing at this. "Does that make you grand-wolf?"

"It's a less frightening word than grandfather, isn't it?" Antonio shuddered a little. He stood up, hugging me again. "He won't spend ten seconds with you? Tell you what. Wait here. I have an idea." He kissed my forehead and hurried out, calling for Clayton.

I heard a scuffle downstairs, kicks, shouts, an oath, and this continued up the stairs. Antonio and Clayton had Nick between them, dragging him up the stairs, and threw him onto the bed. They managed to tie him down there, ignoring his swearing, ignoring his thrashing legs. Clayton stole the sandwich Nick was holding in his mouth.

"Have fun!" Antonio called as he and Clayton retreated, shutting the door behind them, leaving the two of us alone in the room again.

I stared at Nick and he blinked at me, confused. This was good. He couldn't move and I could get his attention easily. I yanked off my shirt, ignoring the way his eyes darted to my stomach, and stripped the pants off, as well as the panties, standing there with my hands on my hips as he stared at the tiny bump. It was obvious when I was naked, sure, but it wasn't that impressive. Not yet anyway.

"I really don't' want to talk about this." He muttered. Looked away, guarded expression from mine, unable to look anymore, tugging at the restraints that held his arms there.

"Tough." I climbed onto the bed, straddling him, sitting above him with my wet hair dripping down onto his designer clothing. Probably ruining it, but again, tough cookies for him. "You didn't tell me why you didn't want me to do this. Was it because of the things you were looking up?"

Nick didn't answer, just clenched his jaw, hands tightening into fists as he yanked.

"Are you afraid I'll die?"

"Of course I fucking well am." Nick snapped, suddenly, hurt and fear replacing the blank look he'd been trying to use to hide it. "Have you seen what happens when women give birth? To just one baby? I don't want you to die for this thing." His eyes snapped down to my stomach. It was no longer a baby to him, or twins as it turned out to be, it was back to 'dangerous unknown'.

"What about this?" I yanked the photo of the ultrasound. Showed him. Held it into his face, making him see it. He shut his eyes.

"I don't want you to die. Don't you dare risk it." He snapped. So much anger, so much fear, but it wasn't directed at me.

"I don't want you to die. I don't want them to die either. They're half of you. Didn't you hear their hearts?"

He shook his head. "No, there was no sound, and I don't care. I made up my mind."

I wriggled off him and slipped the dvd into the laptop, dumping it beside the bed, and turned it on. It had our voices, Pav, Jamie and myself, and the person doing the ultrasound. She was explaining what each part was. There was the sudden sound of a heartbeat.

Nick twitched. His head twisted sideways when he heard laughter, relieved laughter, staring at the video like he hadn't really seen it before. Then our surprise when she pointed out that there was a second heart nearby, which was why it was so loud, the two of them nearly in sync with each other at that moment. His face flooded with color as he stared, seeing them flinch and wriggle around when the stomach was prodded gently, watching them react to the movement.

"Your mother didn't die." I said, softly, as he stared at the wriggle-wriggle-swimming of two little bodies, at the zooming in while they were checked for any problems, the bodies side by side and held safely close by the cords. His eyes widened slightly as they each had their internal organs checked, including their forming brains, their spines obvious, the throbbing of the heart so fast in their chests.

"I know."

"Pav's a trained nurse."

"I know that too."

"Elena gave birth to twins without a trained nurse." I was stroking his chest, gently, fingertips brushing across him over the fabric.

Nick nodded, not answering, his stuck on the screen. He'd stopped struggling with the restraints.

I gently untied him, and his hands came to rest on my thighs.

"What if something goes wrong?" He said, finally, tearing his eyes off it to me.

"I'm sure Pav and Jeremy have already discussed that. I would guess that he already taught himself how to react to a problem with Elena's one, being the first in the pack, he's probably gotten all his old notes out and has gone over them again."

I took Nick's hand and placed it over the curve, letting him feel it, his hand moving away from mine as he stroked his long fingers over it. He sighed. Shut his eyes. The sound of their heartbeat started again as the video looped over.

"I don't know what I'd do if you died." Nick said, finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know if I can do this on my own. I'm not a natural like Clayton."

"I'm not going anywhere. You need to stop expecting me to drop dead the second it's time to shove them out and start thinking about what fun we'll have being creative later." I slid down, lying against his chest, though that didn't work as well now. So I moved to his side, leg across his, inhaling his strong scent. "I missed you."

"God. I missed you too." He groaned softly, as he shuddered, letting go of whatever resistance he'd had left. "You never answered your phone."

"Wait here." I stood up, closing the laptop and went to change in the bathroom. Sexy wedding night baby doll thing? Check. Bride garter thing? Check. There was still no one upstairs, no one to see me sneaking out in the sheet I wore, and I climbed back into the bed and lay down beside him, sheet wrapped around me. "Want to nap now?" I pretended to yawn and snuggled against his side.

Nick edged closer, suspicion on his face as I refused to let the sheet slide down even an inch. Fingers creeping across the top of the blanket, across my stomach. "Are you naked under there?"

"Not exactly." I yawned again and stretched for good measure.

Nick edged closer, climbing on top of me, knees on either side of my legs, hands pinning my arms down gently under the blanket. He was not fooled for a second. He seemed to get that 'hunter' expression, that wide grin he got when he knew I was teasing him and he was more than willing to hunt the bait. One knee shifted, once he had a balance, and ran up the inside of my legs slowly. I bit him, and he slid it up higher, teeth sinking into me gently, hesitating when he found something halfway up my thigh. That belt. Or was it the smell of my arousal, drifting up to him, through the sheets? He had barely touched me but I was so turned on by him, maybe after all this insane time of waiting for him to be healed, and then for him to stop starting fights while in bed, and then he was gone for too long and... I struggled to resist the urge to yank the sheets off.

"I know what you want." He said, softly, shifting his leg up higher, so that his knee brushed against the warming place between my legs. "I can smell it. No woman's ever loved or missed my knee that much though." He laughed, softly, teasing me with it, and I narrowed my eyes.

I shoved him off the bed, Nick falling onto the ground with a crash, and slid sideways, sheet still up around my neck. Nick just laughed and bent over, low, as if he was deciding what direction to pounce and when. As he stood there, he stripped, yanking his shirt off in a hurry, throwing it to one side. My heart was hammering in my chest, hard, my body responding to his already. turned on by that look in his face and the reaction of his body to this. He hadn't even seen his surprise yet.

Someone pounded on the wall then, in the hallway, reminding us that this was a very full house with some very people who had some very sensitive hearing.

"Shhh." I whispered.

Nick just rolled his eyes. He stood up, eyes locked in mine as he undid his pants and shoes and socks, and threw them aside, so confidant with himself, so content with his body, that he just stood there, hands on hips, letting me drink in every inch of his body that I could see from where I lay.

Then suddenly he pounced, the bed groaning under us, hands reaching for the sheet and grabbing. I held on, he yanked harder, and it ripped cleanly into several long pieces. Nick grabbed at me, eyes taking in what I was wearing just for a second, though it was still covered by most of the sheet, before he had one wrist bound up against the bed. Then the other. He'd clearly done this before and knew exactly how to tie my wrists so that I couldn't wriggle loose again.

"Hey, we needed that sheet."

He grinned and yanked the sheet off me, kneeling between my legs, taking in the sight of what I was wearing.

"What's this?" He knelt down, lower, inhaling sharply as he ran his fingers up along the edge of the low panties, not hiding his amusement at it.

"If you don't like it..."

"I fucking love it." Nick leaned down, his shoulders brushing between my legs, and before I knew what he was doing, he'd kissed my sensitive nub through the transparent fabric of the panties, yanking my legs up over his shoulders. I twisted, he held me down, inspecting it. "It's pretty see through, isn't it? I can see everything." A finger ran up the dampness, tracing the shape there, digging in just slightly when he found what he was looking for. I twisted, breathing hard, and he shook his head at me. "Uh huh, bride, stay put. I'm looking at something very important."

"You're supposed to kiss me now. We haven't kissed for ages." And do other things up here. What was he doing down there? My face was bright red, as something wet and firm pressed up against the thin panties, squirming. I hadn't really expected him to pay so much attention down there before.

"I _am_ kissing you. Hold on, there's something tickling me." He leaned up, teeth catching the white frilly thing around my thigh, and yanked it off my leg with one clean yank. "That's better. Now." Nick moved back inside, a low growl in his throat when I closed my legs, shaking his head. "Now, now, don't be shy. Let me see."

I tugged against the restraints on the bed, yanking hard, but he really had done a good job and I just wriggled. Nick glanced up and grinned. "You're not getting out of that."

"That's a challenge, you know."

"So's this." He slid a finger down in the slight gap, where my legs were holding together, and it found that sensitive nub again, pressing against it, making my hips buck a little. Nick moved closer, teasing me with that one finger, stroking and teasing until my legs released slightly. Nick didn't wait, he yanked the panties off, throwing them in the direction of the other thing, and knelt back down to 'look'. I felt him kiss there, against the hot skin, and writhed when something else pressed into me. I moaned softly, and found him covering my mouth, a wicked grin as he went back to what he was doing.

And he knew how to do it. Apparently he had experience at this, how to tease a woman with his mouth, because he was doing to so well that I struggled to keep quiet, my body working up to that climax so fast that I felt dizzy, and when I came he waited, didn't move, more than happy to watch and taste and feel the way my body felt when it did that. Only when my body relaxed on the sheets did Nick shift up and pull my legs gently around his waist.

"Like?"

I nodded. I didn't think I could talk now. He kissed me hard, mouth against mine, relief flooding me as we finally kissed. At some point while we lay there, our mouths and tongues finding each other again, his hands carefully undid the babydoll and opened it, hands sliding across my stomach, up my breasts, stroking them gently, fingers teasing them. They were so sensitive now. My body was loving it, loving the way his body kissed, brushed against me, feeling the hardness prod against my sweaty skin, waiting for him to finally give into it...

"I wonder..." He froze then, suddenly, as he gazed down between us. I looked too. He was very clearly wanting something else, I was surprised at his self-control, but Nick was staring at my stomach.

"What?"

"Can we do this now?"

"_Come on_." I groaned, as he tugged back. "We already did this while I was pregnant."

"Maybe we shouldn't have. I should go Clayton." He muttered, shifting back, as if he'd decided that he'd wait.

I yanked hard on the bedframes, wanting to yank him back, and felt something snap in the bed head. I yanked him closer, up against me, and he blinked at me, the concern fading into a grin.

"What can I do for you, bride?"

"Stop teasing me. You have a laptop, look it up online." I flopped back. Honestly.

He didn't seem to think of that but he hopped up now, yanking it open, fingers flying as he bent over it. Nick swore, had to keep erasing what he typed, too impatient to really focus. It would have made for a great photo,this handsome man bent over his laptop, clearly turned on, looking up information on sex with a pregnant woman.

I got my answer when he jumped back onto the bed, making it grown again, and buried himself as much as he could in my body within seconds. Nick sighed softly against my neck, clearly relieved, and I kissed him when he turned his face to mine. I inhaled slowly as my body stretched as much as it could to accommodate him again, the dampness from before making it much easier but no less mind blowing. I'd never get used to this part.

"I love you." I whispered against his lips, and he shifted up off my body to kiss me again harder.

"I love you too." He lay there for a moment, feeling my body squeeze and contract around him, shutting his eyes. "Fuck, and your body."

"And you wanted to stop." I laughed softly, and he laughed too, moving slowly, shutting me up as I lost the ability to talk again.

Our bodies moved faster then, giving into the lust we had for each other, his chest rubbing against my sensitive breasts in a way I'd never felt before, was that pregnancy too?, as his mouth kept me quiet. It only took a few minutes before I was there again, orgasming, crying out against his mouth. He didn't take long to join me, groaning softly into my mouth, and he collapsed beside me as he breathed hard.

After a while he untied me and helped me sit up. Still a trace of fear when he saw my stomach but it was less now, he was calmer, less edgy. Maybe he'd just needed to get laid, I thought, a small laugh startling him.

"What happened over there?"

Nick told me everything. It was pretty much as Jeremy had told us. They'd hid, waited, and stressed in a motel in LA while Elena did the baiting. Baiting failed because the ship seemed to fail. Then they'd waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, until Clayton was jumping out of his skin, and Nick was jumping out of his skin with worry for me. He'd been the one to send Reece back, without asking Jeremy, and annoying Clayton a little, but they heard what I'd done with the mutt and suddenly Clayton was quite happy to have Reece back there. Then it was time to move, suddenly, just as the Russian pack sent two to assist.

The ship itself, apparently, had been hair raising to get onto. The container ship and the pilot boat were rolling around, a gap opening and closing between ship, boat and sea, slippery with the salt water, and several slipped and needed help across. And there had been so many stairs, so many places to look, that they'd had to split up and use whistles to communicate. It took far too long and by the time they got there, both mutts had tried to hide. They found the dead women, realised how they'd died, and he had to stop there a while. Breath in and out slowly, holding onto me, so much anger in his face. He didn't understand it- how any man or woman could treat a living creature like that. At all. They went to search for the mutts in the ship while Elena and Clayton searched the containers. He heard only about Violetta and the other girls, the dead mutt in front of the container with a broken neck, when it was already over, Clayton with a broken wrist and one hell of a concussion.

The other one had been easy, between the four of them, so damn easy once they found him. And Violetta had insisted on helping capture him. So the five of them circled him, chased him, and more or less beat him up enough to get him quietly off the ship again. The Russian pack agreed with Jeremy that they would take care and ensure the safe return of the girls found on the ship back to their home countries and so apparently they were going to be flown back under false Ids. None knew about werewolves, they just knew that some rich strangers had saved them and were now sending them home, so none complained and all agreed to stay quiet about it. In the end, the only thing anyone could agree on with the dead captive women the mutts had abandoned was to let the ocean have them. They'd left the container open, smashed everything, tipped the blood and tests out, burnt the scientific notes, weighed down the bodies and pushed it into the water. There wasn't much else they could do. The women couldn't be found and with the ocean deep enough out beyond the rip of the bay, it would take care of their bodies.

"We didn't find the asshole who bit you. I'm sorry." He leaned over to kiss me, gently, clearly frustrated about that.

"It's okay." I stroked Nick's face, just caring that he was home, and safe, and here. In our bed. That problem could wait until we left the room and rejoined the world outside it. "Worry about that later. It's your day off."

Apparently the rest agreed with us, because we were left alone, and ended up making love over, and over, and over, like we just couldn't get enough of it, him trying out different positions that would be good when I was heavier. He was trying to accept the pregnancy again, trying so hard, that I loved him for it. Of course he wasn't okay with the birth still but he was trying. We found food outside the door from time to time, bring it in, sometimes eating it before, or during or after tangling around each other all over again.

It was only the next day that we really came down, early that morning, hand in hand and getting a raised eyebrow from Jeremy. He just smiled a fraction and pushed over breakfast. Back to normal routine then.

The issue of my 'master' was going to have to be dealt with sooner or later though, and if he'd abandoned all his pets as well, it meant that it might be sooner than I liked.


	14. Waiting

After breakfast, I went down to see Matt, Nick trailing after me with Matt's breakfast in his hands. Pancakes, berries, icecream, and bacon and ham on the other plate, apparently too heavy for me to carry. He took one look at Vi, tried to hug her, and did not succeed. She kept staring at him like he was a rapist pretending to be a hero, glaring at him as he joined her outside the cage in the basement, while I went inside with both plates to sit with Matt.

Like usual, he didn't look at me, he didn't speak, but he didn't start to scream or shove at me when I came close either. Instead he took the food, eating it with his fingers, and let Pav clean his fingers, hands and face after. That wasn't a stage I had won the right to yet, physical contact while awake, but I couldn't feel bad about that. He let me feed him and apparently that was a big thing.

She glanced up at where Vi and Nick were standing, Vi's arms crossed, Nick a little overwhelmed by her and muttered softly, "He kept trying to hug her and get to know her the entire drive across the country."

"I'm not the least bit surprised."

Matt made it clear he wanted to be alone to play with Clayton, when Clayton came down to check on him, and so the three of us went upstairs. As we walked ,Vi's arm came to dangle around my shoulders. How ever much she mistrusted everyone else here, Daniella, Pav and myself had earned her trust enough. And if Pav and myself trusted everyone here then she tolerated for now.

Vi seemed quite happy to hug me though, arms dangling around my neck, having not lost the memory of when I'd gotten her wife out. She loved to torment Nick with that- she'd hold onto me, so casually, so lightly, but would stare at him with a challenge to find out what'd happen if he came close to her. It drove him nuts and it made me laugh, which would relax him all over again.

But when she tried to pull me and Pav into her lap, eyes fixed on Nick, he'd had enough and lifted me up off her lap, carried me across to 'his' chair, and sat back down. He grinned, nibbling my neck, eyes on Vi. It was all in fun and she just shook her head and wrapped her arms around Pav as she relaxed.

"Pav tells me you're withchild." She said, softly, as her eyes fell to my stomach. It wasn't hard to tell now, if someone knew where to look, and I nodded. "We'll stay to make sure everything goes all right. She told you we were nurses before this, yes?"

"She did. She took such good care of Matt too." I'd forgotten she and Pav were going to Russia to live with the Russian pack.

Jeremy came in and blinked at us: me in Nick's lap, Pav in Vi's lap, Vi and Nick staring each other down as they displayed increasingly affectionate displays. Another game, apparently, but I was a little relieved when he called me over and took me outside to the shed to do some work.

"What was that?" He asked, hand on my arm to keep me steady on the slippery yard, as we made our way slowly to the shed where Reece was waiting outside.

"Violetta and Nick establishing territory, I'm guessing."

"I'd agree. Ready to try it?"

I nodded and Reece opened the door. The mutt was tied up, held to the ceiling and floor, trying to stand up and avoid the chair bolted to the ground. He was fully concious, staring at us with a mixture of fear and anger. I felt my heart jump into my throat. This was going to take some practice, maybe, I'd never tried this with an unwilling mind before. That didn't make it impossible but it limited it as well- I couldn't put suggestions into his mind that he didn't accept, like clucking like a chicken, that only worked for minds willing to do whatever the hynotherapist asked.

I took a seat in front of him as he stared at me and could suddenly see myself from his eyes. I must have looked like an odd replacement for the big muscular werewolves he was used to, a short curvy woman who limped, probably looked like she was a little overweight with the belly being hidden by the baggy clothing, and who probably had an air of 'not threatening' sitting down in a tiny shed on a chair in front of him while he was bound up and restrained. No wonder why I'd had some lucky breaks with fights before. Compared to Elena, who was tall, clearly athletic and who looked like she worked out all the time... or Clayton, who was famous for his way of getting answers, and his huge muscular frame compared to mine, I must have been one hell of a let down.

His face reflected that exact assumption. He glared at me as I sat there, trying to intimidate me, and that grew harder when Jeremy shut the door behind us. Whatever he'd been waiting for, it was not me.

"What the fuck do you want?"

I resisted the urge to hit him and instead went for a pleasant smile. "To talk."

He inhaled sharply, as my scent started to fill the shed with his stench, making it obvious what I was, and his eyes narrowed. "Who the hell are you?" If he asked that, he probably wasn't that high ranking in my 'masters' pack. I could remember being showed off several times, not to mention the fight between pets, and there weren't that many of us who were safe enough to be taken out of the cages.

"I'm here for answers." I replied, rolling up my sleeves, and he glaced at my pockets as if he was expecting some kind of knife to appear. Nothing. I switched into therapist mode, body language open, an 'open expression' on my face, as if this was simply a counselling session. "I'd like you to please relax down into your seat again and breathe in and out slowly."

"What the fuck?" He stared at me like I was nuts, yanking at his chains, but I waited patiently. Clearly he'd been expecting Clayton and torture. That was what we were renowned for. In some ways what I was doing was worse, sneaky, underhanded, but this was the guy who'd let his 'pets' die of thirst or from their bites. "This pack getting soft now with females in it?"

"Take your time." I answered. Waited. Slowly, he settled back down, and I suspected he was starting to hope he'd survive this after all. I wasn't the one who decided that and with his actions I doubted that he'd leave this shed alive.

"So what the hell do you want?" He asked, as he stared at me, every muscle tense and ready for struggling once again.

"To talk. I said, I'm simply here for answers. Nervous?"

"You don't look like no fucking expert in torture." He snapped. This was the beautiful thing about counselling skills- it was difficult to be angry at a person who had open body language, who listened, and who responded.

"That's because I'm not. I'm not here to torture you."

He was less angry by the second, more confused, like it was a trap. His voice was less hostile now, much less, my scent and his confusion disarming him. "Do I need a fucking lawyer?"

"You have me to talk to." I responded, slowly, calmly, keeping my arms and legs uncrossed, directing my body in his direction.

It took half an hour of this, light words, reassuring talking, and I suspected my scent was giving him all kinds of ideas about where this might lead, before he could relax enough to shut his eyes, and then another fifteen minutes before he assumed I was too afraid of him to get any closer so he could keep them closed.

I led him into it then, into a light trance, taking him back to his bedroom as a child. He told me about his bedroom, about his toys, going from the adult into a child's mind again, a child that'd seemed happy, and loved, and normal. His real name was Robbie or Robert as an adult. I let him stay there a while, asking him to tell me about it, and when he was suitably relaxed, I moved him forward into the moment when he met the alpha and told him to view as a third person, instead of as himself, telling me as if it was a story.

He smiled then, such a chilling smile that it made me shudder. A man, who I identified as the alpha from the description, had offered him a job after a few years in prison for the sexual assault of a teenage girl. He'd receive a new identity and act as part of the body guards. He didn't know the man's name, just that he was rich, and more than well connected. The training took place in South Africa.

It was the second year of working there that he was let into the existence of werewolves on the second year after proving his loyalty to the alpha by assisting him with the rape and disposal of a girl _without_ asking to join in. He may not have known it at the time, not known a werewolf's inability to share 'property', but the alpha must have been impressed that he'd stood there passive while the other guards asked to join in. The making of a good submissive mutt, in other words. He'd gotten his special badge, the one that contained the scent of the alpha, and was seen as a senior figure amongst the security guards.

The end of the three year contract was when he was bitten. Out of the sixteen he and two others survived and instead of being angry about not being warned about it, he was praised for being strong enough to survive it, and put into the lowest rank. The other two were killed over the next year, both for being idiots.

He was assigned to one of the six mutts powerful enough to be apart of the 'pets' change. That was just a year ago after the alpha received a woman from the Australian alpha and bit her instead of killing her. Daniella. The other four of the council demanded that they too receive pets and so the lower ranking mutts were divided amongst the five 'council members' of the pack and they started to capture women from foreign countries that were in America. Robert was assigned to a new Master, received a new badge, and wanted to be rewarded with pets. It was all he wanted. His own slaves. He was willing to suck up and do any job asked in order to achieve that right.

Robert increased in rank, due to his assistance capturing women and assistance breaking them. When he spoke about this part, he watched himself do it as an observer, face filling with that lust, power, cruelty, and I saw exactly what kind of man he really was. It made me want to vomit but it had given him the right, the privilege to create six slaves of his very own as long as he funded for their supplies himself. He was not high enough to work with or close to the alpha now, working with one of the others, but he didn't care.

I got locations from him, where he moved, only to find that the pack moved in two groups. That explained why the alpha had got off the boat with two others while it was at sea. They were the top dogs. He was just the lower ranking group. But he described their locations, names, and he was clearly eager to boast about what he'd done, because he would tell me what and who and how he harmed women in those places. Where he got his pets. Why he got them, which made me shudder again, as he'd wanted more teenage girls. Girls that looked like the girl he'd been sent to prison for assaulting. He'd described them to me, the youngest had been thirteen, the first to die, the oldest sixteen. Homeless kids that wouldn't be noticed.

The worst part about it was that in hypnotherapy, if he didn't want someone to know, then he wouldn't say it to me. It meant that every word he'd speak he was proud of. Oh sure, he wouldn't just blurt any of it out to me if we were chatting face to face consciously, he'd probably hide it knowing how much shit it'd get him in. But on a subconscious level he wanted to boast. He'd wanted to tell me, describe the girls he raped, he wanted to make me uncomfortable, upset, angry, he wanted a rise. He may have not been concious of how I reacted but that wasn't the point. He was proud of every part of the past four years.

It had shocked me how much he'd said, how much he'd wanted to say, like he wanted to boast. Wanted the North American Pack to know on a subconscious level. When I brought him out of it he had no clue what he'd said. He seemed confused when I stood up.

"That it?"

"That's it." I clicked the recorder off and knocked on the door.

Jeremy let me out, relief as I appeared unharmed, the risk paying off. I handed him the voice recorder. It'd been well over three hours and I was exhausted. Clayton was waiting now but he hesitated when I slipped back inside the shed. Shut the door.

"Back again?"

I kicked him hard between the legs, the sound echoing around the soundproofed room, hurting enough to knock him out for a second and dangle there, a pathetic excuse for a man. Maybe that was wrong but the suppressed fury and horror of the past three hours snapped and I _hoped_ it hurt.

I knocked again as he came back into concious slowly, and slid back out. Clayton glanced in and shook his head.

"Hope you saved some for me."

"Clayton's turn, go inside and have lunch." Jeremy said softly. "I'll go listen to this. Reece, stay put."

Reece nodded and sat back down, wrapping his arms around himself, waiting while we headed inside.

I wasn't that hungry, honestly, after hearing his story. I went into the living room where Nick was watching a movie, crawled into his lap, and sat there, refusing to let him up for lunch. Elena brought lunch to us, after Jeremy said a quiet word to her, and Nick just let me sit there, his arms wrapping around me, nuzzling against my neck. It was bastards like that which had made me doubt that anything like Nick existed, while they'd had me in that cell, people who somehow became so cruel and so wrong in their head that I didn't know how they could pretend to be anything but evil.

"Don't you dare become like that." I muttered and he blinked, hugging me harder, nuzzling against my neck. Of course I knew most men weren't like that, I knew that these men had been specifically hand picked based on their sadistic natures, but it still made me so furious.

"Here, eat something." I ate as he fed me, fingers brushing across my face.

I wondered how Robert had gotten like that. He'd seemed so normal as a child, so happy, but somewhere between childhood and adulthood had become so fucked up and so cruel that I wondered if something fucked up had happened to him. There was no way I'd find that out with hypnotherapy, not without his concious trust, because he'd shown me what he wanted me to know. Shown me as the rapist, as the sadistic bastard, shown the woman his best four years in his life. If I tried to dig for the trauma it wouldn't have worked. That would have shown his vulnerable side. Luckily, Jeremy didn't need to know about his trauma, he wanted to know about what this man had done and where he'd been with the 'pack'. Frankly, I didn't care what his trauma was. He was an adult and he was old enough to know that something was seriously fucked up with the way he thought. There were enough shrinks out there.

Clayton came out some hours later, confirming parts of it, got some other things with his own technique, working with Jeremy in his bedroom as they put the pieces together on the pack. Bit by bit, they were exposing them, finding their locations out.

I assumed that would mean action. It did, so to speak, but no more news or signs of the 'pack' showed up. Nothing. No kills that couldn't be connected to an unconnected mutt, no traces, no humans found, no signs. One of the bodies, probably from one of the earlier containers, had washed up forcing Karl to move to LA but apparently he had no resistance to the move at all. Reece would go out, visiting these places, but found no trace of them having been there for some time. Antonio vanished into New York to resume his work, he couldn't spend a lot of time with us anymore, and a week after that Nick had to return to work as well, spending three days working in New York and the rest of the time with me. He flew back and forward, barely got any work done with me, until his father had to threaten to make him stay four days if he didn't do some work here. So I backed off and he worked.

It was hell, those three days, but it was made better by Matt's slow but steady progress. Clayton started to get more involved as Matt started to calm down. He still couldn't speak to us, couldn't say a word, but he was interested. I knew that deep down he wanted to trust me but he still struggled with that. All we could do was show him how much we cared, myself as his aunt, and the pack as the family adopting him, and let him finally see that it was true. He didn't go one night without a nightmare but no nightmare went unnoticed. Someone always noticed and sat with him. Elena was instant somehow that we didn't forget him down there. We made the basement as cheerful as we could, toys, books, a small TV, telling him that while he was sick he'd have to stay in our 'hospital'.

Pav and Vi barely were seen for those first few weeks, except with Matt, but they started to reappear as they recovered enough and resumed being social again outside their bedroom. It was lucky Daniella had moved into Reece's room. Four couples and three kids, five couples when Jamie visited, made for one hell of an interesting house when it only had five bedrooms, one of them not even really meant to be a bedroom in the first place. Vi had issues with trust and kept unintentionally insulting Jeremy, even when she tried to make an effort to behave, but all it took was Pav's brush on her arm and she'd calm down again.

Logan and Kate were allowed down now with Matt at Clayton's insistence. Apparently he remembered how important it'd been for him to have Nick show up when he was in that stage so they played with him, with Clayton sitting there, told Matt what they'd learnt in school, and had one lesson together a day as a little group. He and they would communicate with hands instead of words, Logan teaching the other two, until he was able to speak with his hands. I was so emotional at the sight of the three of them 'talking' and playing that I burst into tears and had to go upstairs before I scared him again.

A month passed and then another. The pack had no choice but to return to a normal life, return to roles and jobs, because no matter how hard we looked we saw no trace of them whatsoever. I spent a lot of time searching online, all the time, as Elena showed me where she looked so I could look while she was off 'talking' with a mutt or two that'd gone a bit too far. Or warn them away. Nothing. It worried all of us. It wasn't like him at all. He'd just dropped off the map and I knew that he wasn't like that. I suspected Jeremy was concerned he was starting again, somewhere else, with so few of his 'pack' remaining. I wondered if he was right. But I was his 'property' and I knew the asshole well enough to know that I'd be hunted down.

I wondered what he'd say when he saw his 'property' so successfully knocked up. I looked pregnant now, with or without clothing, and had thought Nick would be turned off by that. It turned out that he wasn't lying about loving curves. I was gaining weight again, healthy again, and he loved the curves so much that I had to avoid going into the room with him while he was working- he got distracted too easily. The more Pav taught him about birth, and how she needed him to help her, the more Nick focued on the 'after' of the birth and not the birth itself. When she suggested he think about the nursery, clothes for me, and toys, he grabbed onto that. He'd come back from New York with something new for me to wear, something that I suspected was expensive, or with special pregnancy products.

I couldn't leave the house for those two months, so I trained. I studied. I painted and Jeremy offered to paint with me, somehow our two styles to mix on a painting for the nursery, and it was then that I found out how good he was. I was embarrassed to work with him, the two of us so different in styles, but it didn't seem to matter that much. He agreed that greens and yellows were good colors when we didn't know the genders of the babies. I just liked it because it was 'Australian'.

We were lying in bed after another 'test' of positions, when we felt it. Flutter, flutter, flutter, one or both of the babies responding to the flood of endorphins, Nick sitting there and staring at my stomach as he felt them move under his hand. That was the moment it became real for him, the moment that he wanted them to come out as much as he wanted me to survive the birth part.

The next day, when he was supposed to be going to New York alone, I found my things packed and was rushed to New York with him. He wanted to buy furniture now, even if there wasn't a spare room yet, he wanted to have somewhere to put them.

There was no point in wearing a disguise- if the fake pack was around they'd know me by scent- but I was confined to the apartment for the three days he worked. He got the middle day off and took me nursery shopping.

He refused to buy anything cheap or stupid from the local town, rolled his eyes at my suggestion of Ikea, no, he had to take me to a store that was appointment only, high quality furniture that could last for generations, the most incredible looking baby furniture that I'd seen in my life. When I'd suggested he focus on the part after the birth I hadn't expected him to go this overboard.

There were cribs that were themed, cradles with silver leaf in them, a crib with a pumpkin carriage around it, one that had flying cows and a moon, a Gothic style crib, one that had dinosaurs... and the one I pointed out, a solid wood crib with no special detail except for a nice shape to the wood, the one I'd assumed would be cheaper as well as less tacky, turned out to be the most expensive one in the shop. Naturally. Five thousand dollars each.

Nick ordered two and then ordered two matching cradles too, so we had something to sit between and rock them to sleep, a suggestion by the saleswoman who clearly had no clue how small the bedrooms were. I wasn't sure where we'd put the cradles but he shrugged and said the living room. Then he agreed that we needed the changing table, the bookcase with rollout desk, the wardrobe and the bedside table to match the cribs. The cost of all these things made my head spin.

At that point I wondered why he'd asked me to come at all, he clearly knew how much he wanted to spend, and I felt dizzy everytime he pointed out something new, a painting, or something else, the cost of a full 'set' more than I'd spend on a car. When he asked me if I wanted a 'nursery glider' that was a chair with a footrest, both edged with frilly girly frills, I pinched him and said "No." as firmly as I could. He grinned at me, kissed me, and then ordered a pair of hand painted toy chests instead. For a man who thought he couldn't be a father, he was doing good work with the spoiling part of it.

When he got to decorations and pointed at a seven thousand dollar rug, I had to sit down, I couldn't take it any more. And while his back was turned, I snuck out, got a taxi and headed for Ikea. He'd find my trail and guess. No problem.

Ikea was where I'd gone with my sister when she was expecting Matt. I knew he liked his old room, liked the theme that it'd had and while I loathed most of the Ikea 'adult' styles I loved that they were so creative with kids and so careful about safety. They didn't just have themes, they had entire bedrooms set up for the buyer to see, and I could afford Ikea. I could afford that other place too, technically, but so what? If he wanted furniture for his 'grand-pups' in fifty years time, fine, he could have it. But I _knew_ how fast kid's minds changed about themes and decorations. We were not buying a seven thousand dollar rug that a kid might hate in four years. I texted where I'd gone and went hunting.

I was clearly pregnant by now, nineteen or twenty weeks pregnant, so I had assistance in a flash. An older employee handed me a notepad and pen and explained how to order it at the checkout. They could get it for me later. Thirty dollar rug, with a grass texture and a circle of different animals in the middle? Fantastic. Made to last. Easy to clean, apparently. Nick appeared then, face red from the running, and rolled his eyes a little as I pointed at it. I kissed him and he relaxed, sighed, and said I could decorate as long as he got to keep his furniture. I continued to shop. Fifteen dollar bed canopy in the shape of a leaf. Nick didn't get it, much, but when I texted Kate through Elena's phone, she whole heartedly agreed with me apparently. And who knew better about a kid's bedroom than a kid?

Maybe, I hoped, this thing might even stay in the room for longer than five years. Real value for money.

There was a good storage box for under cribs and beds in a similar pattern to the rug but with some sort of red and blue pattern on the top of numbers and letters. A bed divider so twins could sleep in the same cot at first safely. I didn't need to worry about paintings- Jeremy and I were already having fun with that, working on some canvases together for both the twins and Matt, with Kate and Logan pitching in whether we wanted them to or not. A wall lamp that looked like a big glowing green bug, that went on the list, and made Nick laugh as he prodded it. Only ten dollars, I informed him, and he again rolled his eyes only to be kissed. The sales lady returned and offered to show us what a baby needed, and what they had to offer, which was helpful enough. I honestly had no clue besides the cute stuff.

Nick got into it then, taking the list off me and wrote down exactly what she suggested based on our 'color theme'. The list grew, bedding, baby monitor that'd alarm us if the babies stopped moving fifteen seconds or longer, some wall pocket things to go above the changing table, storage things, a mobile, a couple of baths. When I told her I was having twins, I found out that I'd need at least a two person sofa to 'tandem feed', and some pillows to prop each baby up. I hadn't even thought about that. Feeding two babies at once? Two werewolf babies? Good god, I wondered if I'd ever get them off me again. Nick seemed to think we'd need a new sofa but I managed to convince him to wait for that.

He thrived when she got to the toys and I found a sofa and waited. He seemed to want to buy the lot, every single thing, finally enjoying Ikea's displays as he was shown toys. Half the toys wouldn't even be used until the babies were older but that didn't stop him. We could store them, apparently, he was going to get us another shed. Uh huh. I just laughed and let him go for it.

Mid laugh, I smelt _him_. Not Nick. The ass hole, the claimed ot be my master, it was just the briefest scent mixed with all the others, but I knew it. I knew it and it made me stop laughing mid laugh, my stomach clenching with fear and panic and rage, like he'd flipped a switch in me from happy to petrified and caged all over again.

I didn't see him. I didn't want to see him. If he was close enough to smell in this crowd then he could see me and he could see the bump. He knew. I turned to Nick, who was asking if they had kangaroo toys.

"Call Antonio."

Nick's eyes narrowed and he inhaled. The smell was gone now but he knew me well enough to know that I wasn't kidding around. That was the plan. If there was a problem, if I smelt a scent I recognised, we called Antonio for backup. He handed me the phone as he informed her that he'd come back for more toys, that relaxed look pretending to be on his face, but I called Antonio as he led us to the checkout and got it delivered.

A crowded place was safer so we waited there, hand in hand, pretending to be a happy couple reading the catalogue instead of a pair of werewolves suddenly on alert. Antonio pulled up, we hopped inside, and were quick to move into the street.

"Did you see him?"

I shook my head. "I smelt him. Just a second." My heart was racing, skin clammy with sweat, and Nick hugged me against him. I wasn't just afraid, I was pissed off, and one part of me wanted to hunt _him_ down. Show him what happened when he tried to claim me. Nick's arm kept me sitting in the car.

"You made the right choice." Antonio said from the front, as he focused on getting us out of there to the apartment. "I'll stop at the apartment, we'll pack, and head off. No point risking it."

Nick nodded.

"How did the furniture shopping go?" He changed the subject, but his eyes were focused and steady, aware of every movement around the car, every sound, fully alert.

"We're going to need a shed to store the toys." I answered, managing a weak smile, which made Antonio smile a fraction as his dark eyes scanned the street Nick wound down his window a fraction, knowing the scent of my 'master'. But it seemed wrong to run. It seemed so wrong. "Isn't this a good chance to follow the trail?"

"Not happening." Nick cut off that idea, glancing sideways at me, his hand reaching over to grasp mine.

It took some time to get through the city. Half an hour passed before we reached the garage under their building, the same one I'd been found in, and we made our way to the lift while Nick checked that the door into the garage was locked. We held the lift for him until he jogged back over. No use pretending to have light hearted conversations now, we just packed quickly, throwing clothes at each other, cells, going under the bed for elusive things.

The car was trashed when we got back, windows smashed, tail lights ruined, tires slashed. There was the smell of a human in the area, not a mutt, but I smelt traces of the alpha there too. Either way, it would be impossible to drive off. We backed up, headed back for the apartment, and called Jeremy and Elena.

"We'll fly." Antonio seemed to agree, hanging up, and moving to call the airport.

"Wait, there's flights there? Why do we drive all the time?"

Nick shrugged. "Flights are full of strangers crowding in on you. We'll try and book a few seats around us, won't we Dad? Make sure nothing sneaks up on us."

Antonio shook his head. "No, Nick, we'll use the red eye flight. We'll have to wait here and go on that one."

Nick nodded and went to stand in front of the window, his arms crossed, unable to relax. I didn't needed to see his face to know that he was scanning the street, the buildings, staring. Antonio spoke softly into the phone and handed it to Nick. "Clayton wants to speak to you."

Nick moved away into our room and I went to sit at the bench in the kitchen. Antonio coming to stand beside me, his hand on my shoulder, as he reached for a newspaper and thumbed through it. It was something my father would have done when I was upset, not speaking, not able to know what to say, so he'd just stand nearby, a hand on my shoulder, pretending to read a newspaper or drink his cup of tea. It'd pissed me off as a teenager but it made me feel suddenly emotional again, the hormones assisting, both glad for Antonio's presence and missing my own father.

One of the windows smashed, suddenly, and I was shoved onto the ground, Antonio's arm coming under my head just a fraction of a second before it struck the tiles. Another one smashed, the strong wind blowing in, and another, Nick rushing in with the phone and quick to get low, crawling across to us in the kitchen. Glass showered us as the kitchen window went out, shards sharp and nasty, something flying across us and slamming into the wall behind us. My heart pounded hard, panic flooding me, Antonio's body shielding me from the glass and Nick sliding across. He swore, I inhaled the smell of his blood, and saw him yanking a piece out of his hand. I sat up, trying to reach across, but was pushed back down firmly.

"Stay down. He's fine." Antonio said, softly to me, and twisted his head around to Nick. "And stay put."

Nick nodded and carefully lowered down where he was. He lifted the phone, Clayton's voice was there, echoing on the phone, trying to find out what was happening, his eyes moving to where something had struck the wall. "Windows just got smashed in. On the seventh floor. Is that what I think it is, Dad?"

"Crossbow bolt."

Antonio went to rise but fell back down as the third window in the living room exploded, another bolt shattering it, and he swore, ducking down, a small deadly black thing barely missing his back.

"Clayton says to get into the hall."

"Are the bags near the door?" Antonio said, staying low, half his body still shielding across me and my stomach.

Nick nodded. He moved across slowly, tense, and Antonio gestured for me to go around the bench and get behind it before him. I hesitated but he shoved me ahead, and crawled after me, hands and knees finding glass more often than not. We stopped on the other side, Antonio finding the same problem as I had, but we didn't wait. Nick had the door open, ducking down as something slammed into the wall a foot from him, and slid out, tugging the bags after him.

My heart froze when I heard the sound of something hit a head, Nick's groan and a heavy thump on the carpet outside. Antonio yanked me back, tensing, eyes narrowing, nostrils flaring. A foot crushed the cellphone with strength that was probably not human.

His arm came up to push me behind him, the bulk of him moving in front of me, every muscle ready to lunge.

They'd die. I knew it. I knew that they'd fight to protect me, even die for it, and the sudden impact of what they were willing to do shocked me, crushed me, because I knew that there was no way I could allow it. Antonio was one of the better fighters but...

"Don't move." He hissed, soft enough so that only I could hear him, as he heard me lift the drawer open and tug out the first thing I found. A spoon? Oh bloody hell, I was going to get a bit of a reputation with these 'weapons' of mine, heels, hand, a spoon, but I slid it up one of my sleeves anyway.

I smelt him again, inhaled that terrifying scent as he came into the doorway, flanked by two humans with crossbows. Quiet and deadly things. I didn't even know his name, didn't know any title but 'master', 'owner' or 'alpha, and refused to recognise any of those names. He held Nick up by his shirt, throwing him carelessly inside the room while his goons shut the door behind them.

I was caged again. Caged, trapped, _seen_, and Nick was unconscious. Or was he dead? That word sent shock waves throughout me, fear, rage, a shudder going down my spine as my skin itched, threatening to start the change. Antonio's smell washed over me as he shifted back against me, tighter, back against my front, like he'd sensed how close I was getting to loosing control.

"He's breathing." He said, softly. Then he stood up, legs shielding me, drawing up all his height and weight as he took in the alpha and the humans beside him. "You're not welcome her-."

They shot him. He fell across me, fell back, cut off as something went right though his chest and out the other side, slamming into the wall. He didn't get up, didn't move, and I smelt his blood behind me, so strong, so much of it, far too much.

"Cowards." My voice shook, as they looked at me blankly, my body starting to shake. Werewolves didn't fight with guns or crossbows.

"Tie her up. Carefully." The alpha ordered and they lowered the crossbows, throwing them to one side, clearly not allowed to harm me. He gazed at me with cool rage, eyes flicking down to my stomach, but he didn't move. Didn't raise a fist. He just stared at me. "Take those stupid rings off her finger while you're at it and throw them out the window."

I shifted back, tensing now, every muscle ready to spring, to rip, to attack, to protect the babies inside me, a cold rush of fear at the way he stared at it. At my stomach. He loathed it. The humans came closer, bread ties in their hands, and I knew he expected me to be quiet. To be scared. To loose control.

The first man, a brown haired man, didn't have time to jump back. The spoon was shoved through his eye and as deep inside as I could shove it, he didn't even have time to cry out in shock. The other man fell back, reaching for him, staring at horror at the big wooden spoon's tip, at the mess left behind.

The alpha laughed. It made me flinch, his laughter cruel, hands coming up to clap as he took in the sight of one of his own men lying dead there in front of him. He shook his head, seemingly so amused, like he had when I'd lost the fight. He snapped at the other man, suddenly, amusement gone, "Leave him. Shoot her."

I couldn't move in time. Another gun came out and something hit my neck. I fell, and as I fell to the ground, the darkness came up to close around me.


	15. Prey

I groaned softly, a pain in my neck, arms free and legs free, but it was dark. So dark. A few months ago I may have been terrified of this, of this dark that closed in around me, but right now that was overwhelmed by fear for my babies. Hands flew to my stomach, feeling, touching, trying to see if I could feel anything.

To my relief, they were still there, the flutter-flutter of them responding to my panic, my stomach just as round as it had been before. Hands slid under my pants, checking, feeling, trying to find blood or ...well, anything.

Nothing. No blood. No sign that they were in any danger. I didn't feel aches or cramps, my back didn't hurt, it was fine.

Nick. Antonio. They weren't with me. They weren't here. Suddenly I was panicking, my hands sliding across the floor, nostrils inhaling, trying to find them. Find them here. With me. Where were they? Had they died? Fear surged through me, suddenly, the memory of their limp bodies and the smell of their blood filling my nostrils as strongly as if they were in the room with me. I felt around, fast, careful, only finding walls.

What if they had died? Nick, dead.

A low whimper came from me as I lost the ability to breathe. Something crashed down on me, an image of him in a coffin, covered in cuts from glass, one of those deadly bolt things having ripped a hole through him as it had through Antonio. There had been no time for a rescue. No time for a flight or a drive from Stonehaven. They were alone and they would have died.

My body collapsed onto the ground, pain flooding throughout my limbs, lungs crushed, heart racing. The change started, tearing fabric, my cries of pain and grief echoing around the little dark room, grief and fear crushing me into the ground until it was over. I curled up in a corner, shaking, eyes shut, ears and tail down as I curled around my stomach.

I didn't know how long I lay there or when I changed back. I only found myself there, in torn clothing, shaking again as a human, so much fear throbbing through me that it threatened to overwhelm me again.

Then I felt it. Flutter, wriggle, calming me down. Forcing me to think, to be logical, to stop panicking. It wasn't helping. I had to stay in control. They were injured. I didn't know any more than that and I couldn't assume anything yet. If I did, I'd loose it, I'd scream, I'd cry, I'd loose the ability to keep my inner wolf at bay. Calm. I had to stay calm. My rings were gone. I missed them, fingering the skin where they'd been, breathing in and out as I pictured them.

There was no lights, nothing, not even a crack. But there was a gentle sway-swaying. Was it a boat? The ground felt metallic. Maybe it was a ship again. What if he tipped me overboard? Again the panic flared, again I forced it down. If he wanted to harm me he wouldn't have drugged me. He wouldn't have cared if the babies were hurt or not.

Why hadn't he harmed them? That question should have been my priority right now. What did he expect? I was his property, as far as he was concerned, so did he consider them as belonging to him too? Or was this a message to Jeremy? Stealing the offspring from his pack? I didn't know. I wished I could ask Elena or Clayton about it, they knew about werewolf pissing contests, they knew what lengths they'd go to. I did know that he wanted to capture Elena's daughter, not kill her, and that may have been a hint.

He hadn't harmed me either. The cuts from glass, I noticed, had been cleaned, the glass removed, the ties around my wrists not tight enough to cut in too much, and I'd been left dressed as I was when he found me. No cell or wallet. Damn. No extra spoon hidden up another sleeve. Maybe I'd go for another girly item next time. A knitting needle or something. I had to stop thinking about it and breathe. That had become difficult over the past few weeks as the stomach got bigger and it had to be a priority. One, two, inhale. One, two, exhale. I repeated it, sitting there, stroking my stomach under the fabric.

Another flare of panic, what if I ran out of air? No, I had to stop that, because the air wasn't stale. It was more or less fresh and I might have been here for a while. Clearly if he'd gone to the effort of getting someone to get the glass out of my hands and knees, he wasn't interested in letting me suffocate, he wouldn't have bothered wasting his breath telling someone to spend time locating and removing big and little shards of glass.

One, two, exhale. One, two, three, inhale. I shut my eyes, opened them, and waited.

Time ticked past. Hours, minutes, I didn't know. It wasn't cold in here, it wasn't too hot either, but it was quiet. I kept myself occupied, trying to pretend that everything was all right, that I was fine, planning the nursery as if this was a very normal thing to do when you'd just seen the father and grandfather of your children potentially killed and you were sitting in a dark room that even your night vision couldn't get through.

The sudden vibration of the wall made me flinch, sliding up to my feet, muscles tense. Then another vibration, this one much stronger, like something had struck the outside of the walls. Doors at one end were flung open, blinding me, the bright light and shadows moving in it making me flinch as I stood there, tense, ready for another fight.

"Poor Pet." The voice cooed, though it didn't sound entirely believable, like he was trying to comfort a chair instead of a person. "You were not supposed to be in the isolation room. Seems my servant disobeyed me."

There was a sickening crunch of something in the blinding light and slowly it started to make sense, a room outside this one, the alpha standing there, a now dying humans neck under his feet. I couldn't look. Instead I stared at him directly in the eyes, a challenge for a moment, then thought better of it, directing my gaze to the wall beside him instead. I had to stay calm and let him think I was safe. Well, safe for someone who'd jammed a spoon into someone's skull in front of him.

"Take her down to the cell prepared. If she struggles, drug her again."

Two bodies came into the room, werewolves, apparently humans out of the question with me from now on. They took each of my arms, firm but not brusing, and I was yanked off my feet and literally carried behind the alpha as he led the way down the hallway. I didn't fight. I used this chance to look around. Mostly closed metal doors, nothing really I could see, but there was steps going upwards there, steps going down beside it, doors of a lift, more metal doors, and I was carried through one of them.

Compared to my first cell room, this was a five star hotel room, with a double bed against the wall, a desk, cabinet above it, and some drawers below it, even its own bathroom. I stared at it as I was lowered onto the ground. There was a window with bars. This was not what I'd been expecting. It was tiny, the same size of the cell, but it had furniture.

The door slammed behind me. The alpha remained behind, as I stood there, striding past me and brushing against me. I flinched at the unwanted contact and he laughed, a cold mocking laugh, freezing and turning around to touch me again. This wasn't a brush, his hand ran down my chest, down my stomach, and when he got to the bump, I jumped back. Into the closed door. The space between the bed and the door into the room was only about a metre, too little suddenly for him to be in here with me.

He followed. Of course he would, I'd started a chase for him by accident, I'd backed up. He held me there, one hand pinning my shoulder to the door, the other coming back down to close over the bump again. Pressing, eyes locked into mine, touching. When he asked, "How did this happen?" I sensed a threat there now. His voice was low, soft, dangerous, like he was angry and was finally willing to show it.

I had to swallow pride for them. "Please. Don't harm them."

"You gave me quite a shock, pet, when you sent those photos to dear _Sara_ in Australia."

My eyes shot up in panic, suddenly afraid for her, for her baby. He laughed that cruel laugh again hand pinching my hip where the bump vanished. He knew what I was afraid of. "Relax, Pet, she's not worth any attention of mine. The Australian alpha isn't as willing as his father to roll over when I bark. You shouldn't have killed his father. He was very useful."

"He was going to rape me."

"You should have let the alpha. I would have been pleased with you if he'd fathered this." He shrugged, like rape didn't matter so much as the father of the children did, and I understood suddenly why he wanted me alive. Why he hadn't harmed the babies while I was drugged. "Who fathered this then?"

I refused to answer, eyes fixed on the window behind him, my heart starting to beat faster, panic flooding my body as he got too close. It was exactly what he wanted. The alpha grabbed my arm and dragged me onto the bed, inhaling slowly, pinning me down on it as one hand moved between my legs to press and grope there, eyes fixed in mine as I refused to look at him. I didn't answer and he growled, leaning down, the hand digging up higher as his fingers pressed into me through the fabric. "Who did you open your legs for?"

I couldn't tell him Nick. Nick wasn't 'good breeding', even if he was to me, he wasn't high in the ranks. He wanted Jeremy or Clayton. "J...The alpha. The alpha at Stonehaven."

He _did_ like that, I saw his lips curve up in a dangerous grin at that, as his fingers digged harder, my eyes shutting as shame flooded through me. At least my pants were still on. "Good girl. He had you all to himself? None of the others wanted you?"

I shook my head, trembling. "He was getting old. He wanted me pregnant. No one else was allowed."

It was exactly what he'd hoped for. "And the two I found you with, the pretty boy that's been by your side since you left? The one I saw in the bar when I chose you? You married that one, didn't you?" His voice took on an edge then, a threat, as if he was _challenging_ me to say it was Nick.

"We ...we thought if you thought it was him, you'd bugger off. Think that a lower ranking pack member did it and decide you didn't want me back or care if I was pregnant."

It was what he _wanted_ to hear and he believed it.

His fingers tore at the fabric, suddenly, tearing the seam so his finger could slide through it, pushing the panties aside and digging into me. I flinched as I felt a strange finger press up into me. "You think I'm an idiot? I wouldn't have realised that it was an act? Those magazines, that wedding, that act in the shop? I knew something was going on when I saw that. I knew you were hiding something I'd like." He was breathing harder, pressing hard against me, twisting me around and pushing me onto the bed. I knew what he wanted. I knew what my priorities were as well. He shoved me down as I tried to stand, body blocking mine, hand going back between my legs or trying to. I refused to let it.

"Please, don't harm the babies."

"Harm them? I'm _taking_ them."

I pushed him off as his hand tried to pull at my pants, trying to roll off the bed, and he yanked me over. Not as easy when my stomach was making it impossible for me to lie on my stomach, and he wasn't impressed by that. I struggled now, refusing to act submissive for this part, refusing to pretend I was quiet or sweet or obedient. No way in hell. He was not getting that thing inside me. When I struck him hard, he almost fell off the bed, not expecting the strength behind the punch.

He called for help, as he yanked his shirt off, the two werewolves jumped easily on the bed, kneeling there and pinning me on my back while he stood up and started to tug off his pants.

"I can't have sex. It might start labour too early." I gasped, trying to wrench the hands off my shoulders, trying to get them both off me, breathing hard, the fear throbbing through me. Not a lie, exactly, but not a truth either. Not yet anyway.

That made him hesitate, as he was standing there, before he pulled up his pants with an oath. The alpha barked an order, "Get the doctor," and kicked at one of the werewolves when they moved too slow, leaving us alone again. "If you're lying, Pet, you won't get off lightly just because you're pregnant."

But somehow I suspected he was lying. He believed that these were Jeremy's children, believed that Jeremy was as bad as he was, and he wanted to steal them. It would have been such an insult to Jeremy and the pack if he had. He had no idea though, no idea what that pack was like, and how he wasn't just insulting the alpha, he was hurting the family of these babies. I was furious with him, with his selfishness, but all I could do was hide that. I knew that if he kept thinking this that meant he couldn't risk my life, at least not right now, while I was still the one carrying them.

A human doctor came in then, an older Indian man, flanked by the two werewolves, and the alpha turned on him. My heart leapt into my throat again, as he made the doctor answer, knowing that what he said would prevent rape if he just …

He agreed with me. I slumped back onto the bed, relieved, as the doctor explained the dangers of carrying twins and the risks. No sex of any kind till _after_ birth. He added, as his eyes went to me, that he'd write up a special list of dietary requirements for a multiple pregnancy. The alpha nodded, clearly not pleased, and without another word to me, yanked his shirt off the ground and was gone out the door. The others followed him and I was left alone.

I sat there, breathing, trying to calm down.

The doctor returned only half an hour later with a bag of maternity clothing to replace the pants the alpha had torn. I wasn't sure how he'd gotten them so fast. He then examined me. It was so non-sexual, so calm and professional, that it put me off a little bit. I'd started to expect that all men here were bastards. This one wasn't a bastard. He was older, gentle, and informed me where he was going to touch before he did it. Maybe that was because I could have harmed him easily with one kick, maybe not, but he didn't seem afraid either. When everything seemed all right, he was gone again, and I changed in the little bathroom out of the torn pants and into the ones that were still intact. The doctor, who'd called himself 'Dr. Smith', had somehow calmed me down.

I explored now that I was calm. The cabinet above the desk held a little TV- protected behind very thick glass from me, and a couple of towels sat in the drawers below the desk. The bed wasn't bolted to the ground as I'd expected but the space it was in was so tiny that it was well and truly wedged there- no way I could use it to block the door. The bathroom was a fraction smaller than the main room, taken up by the sink, the toilet and a shower which would require some wriggling to get inside with my stomach. Still, if I needed to escape somewhere, they'd struggle to fit in the bathroom behind me. Under the sink was another little cabinet, which held toilet paper, a toothbrush, soap and toothpaste in a little tray there. There was also a little make up bag. I opened it to find that he'd provided me with make up and a brush. Oh, and a comb, I realised as I jiggled it, to help me keep looking pretty. I grimaced at the sight of another box there too. 'Waxing kit'. No razors, they'd have been very useful, but instead he'd provided me with a 'no heating required' waxing kit for the legs, bikini area and underarms.

He was making it very clear how pretty he wanted me to be for him. This was very different from the cells, where he didn't care how we looked, very different. It was like I'd graduated in his eyes for getting knocked up while I was away. But he kept acting like this was what he'd expected, what he'd hoped I'd do, like he'd let me run around and stood back to watch. It made me furious.

I slid out of the bathroom, throwing it all back, and climbed onto the bed to stare out the window, shoving the curtains aside. We were in the water, bobbing gently up and down, anchored up some distance from the docks. That explained the narrow hallway and the slightly better than usual 'cell'. It couldn't have been a very large ship either, more of a boat than anything, and I tried to see how long it was on either end.

It was at this point that I thanked my father for insisting we go fishing every month or less. He'd loved boats. Loved them and he'd point them out and I'd sit there pretending to care as he told me about which he wanted. I'd yawn, wish I was on the land, and read a book as I waited to hook a fish.

The funny thing was that I'd liked boats too back then, but being the teenager, I'd pretended to not care. When I was twenty one I started to play the game back, on the rarer occasions we went out in his boat, showing him the boats I liked. He loved that, he'd told me all about the boats I wanted, how they sailed, which had powers, proud that I preferred the sails to the power run ones. I'd promised to let him teach me how to sail but ...well, it'd never happened, University and life distracted me. I'd always told him I had to do this, or I had to finish this essay, or that painting, and promise next year. Next summer. We'd have time later. But I was wrong about that.

I swallowed hard, shoving that thought down for now, and focused on the boat I was in. Thirty metres long, a hundred footer, one hell of an expensive boat but with so many cabins down here, maybe it was some kind of tiny cruiser for divers. That would explain my room. This had no sails either, it was pure power, probably with a deck above us and one below, no part of this kind of expensive ship would have gone to waste.

It also meant that this ship was very able to go out a very long way from the coastline. Into the sea. I was glad we weren't doing that already. I could try to signal the boats, and I went to check the light switch, but found that the light bulb had been removed. Damn. Boats were moving past us too little anyway.

Feet on the hall outside had me scrambling down, on my side, like I'd been lying there. The door opened and the doctor returned with the dinner for me. Plastic plates, no knifes or forks or spoons, so I'd have to eat it with my fingers. It was growing dark in the boat as I finished it and when he returned, he had a flash light and took it without a word.

I tried the TV. It did work. The cabinet doors blocked its light from the window and it was crappy reception but I tried it, flipping channels with a remote I'd found, testing it. The sound was awful too. I'd have to stand right against the desk to hear it.

I jumped as I heard something beside me in another cabin, a pained scream, and my alpha. It was too much like a woman for it to be him. I hadn't thought what he'd do if he couldn't touch me, where he'd go, but I could hear it now I was closer to the wall. The soft sounds of someone next door crying, and his groans, muffled as if coming through a few walls. Maybe a cabin like mine? It made me shudder, fear and anger, and I almost wanted to smash the door down and tear him off whoever it was. Fight at least three werewolves and rescue her? No problem. These hormones had given me super powers.

I wished.

I sat down and did what I could do. I waited.

When the sounds faded, I could move, like the sound of it had paralysed me. One part of me couldn't believe it. It wanted to think that maybe it was another TV, maybe it wasn't how it sounded, maybe it was my mind making it up. The other part of me knew deep down that he'd gone to rape some other poor woman because he wouldn't risk harming the babies he intended on stealing. I was shaking, I noticed, my body shaking all over. Not cold. Just shocked.

It was dark now. A crack of light came under the door and I touched it, testing it as the hallway got quieter, finding that it was well and truly locked. It was also raining outside, just a touch, the rain being blown against the window.

I was exhausted, I knew I had to get some rest to have it for tomorrow, but it was a struggle.

The alpha didn't return to see me for two weeks. I got meals three times a day, examined again, and that was it. TV was of no interest and there was no way I could get it out of the case- I tried- so it wasn't a potential weapon. There was someone in the cabin next to me, the woman he must have raped, I heard her using her own little bathroom several times a day. I didn't hear anyone on the other side. But the hallway was used a lot and several doors were opened and shut at mealtime. At least five doors. The boat moved once a day, circling gently around New York, and anchoring in new locations every time. And every two days a boat would leave with rubbish and return with supplies, the doctor always on it, probably the humans doing the work. It explained why we'd not found a trace of him- scents didn't hold on the water.

On the Thursday night, if I had counted my days right, I saw the alpha and the two werewolves with him get onto the boat and leave for the night. A week later, the same thing happened, they were on the little boat and didn't return till dawn. That meant it was time for them to change and they intended on doing it in a forest.

My body changed too. My emotions started to calm down, my stomach continued to expand, and I had this suspicion that if I didn't find a way to get out, I might soon feel too unbalanced to try. I was already struggling to get out of the bed at the first crack of light. And my feet were starting to swell. It was not a good sign- it was reaching the point where I physically depended on protection, rather than preferred it to be around me. The babies were becoming much more active, much more noticeable, going from flutters to gentle shoves from the inside. The two times I changed into a wolf, after shutting myself in the bathroom, were the same. As a wolf I was starting to get limited with what I could do as well. I had teeth and claws but I also had two pups in my belly rolling around and starting to really wriggle against the fur.

I had nightmares, over and over about Nick and Antonio, because no matter how much I tried to control that fear in the day, I couldn't hide from it asleep. It brought back the dream I'd had after the funeral- sitting in the hall, staring at the seven coffins, but now they were joined by Nick and Antonio. They lay there there as I'd had to leave them, Antonio on his back with a hole through his chest, not moving, and Nick dropped onto the glass with blood seeping out from under him onto the polished wood floor of the hall.

It hadn't mattered how much I lay there before sleep, reassuring myself they were probably okay, it was the same dream. Over and over. Sometimes I would hear Jeremy's voice, or even Paige's voice, but I was so wracked with guilt over the sight that I'd stand up and lock the doors of the hall. Not let them in. Not let them see what I'd done. If they got too loud, I'd wake up, trying to escape them any way I could.

The doctor did another exam at the end of the two weeks. He told me how lucky us female werewolves were to not have stretch marks. I'd not even thought about that, but when he muttered something about werewolves and their pregnancies, I wondered then. Was I the only female here who was pregnant? He seemed to be too much of an expert. Hadn't the alpha seemed pleased that I was pregnant? What if he'd gotten someone else pregnant too? That woman beside me? One of the other doors? I asked him and he shut up, quickly finishing up. But before he did, I asked him for something to do. A book to read. Music to listen to. Something.

He hesitated then, and came back inside, shutting the door behind us.

"Are you craving anything?"

Nick. Pack. Home. "Pizza."

The doctor nodded and vanished. The next time he came with dinner, six hours later, he'd hidden slices of pizza in amongst a pile of salad greens. It was hard for me to believe, this small gesture of kindness, so sure was I that everyone working for the alpha had to be bastards. They had to be assholes. Why was he even working here? Every time after that he'd ask me what I was craving, voice soft, as if he didn't want to be overheard, and I'd find some version of it more or less hidden with the rest of the food. A wrapped piece of chocolate in soup- all melted but protected by cling wrap. Tiny pieces of bacon hidden under in the scrambled eggs. He'd smile and cover his mouth, glancing back, and when I asked him once why he'd do this, he made a very soft comment about how his daughter might be pregnant. Might be on a different boat somewhere. He was treating us like he would treat her.

In other words, his daughter was one of the girls captured. I asked him, the TV loud enough to block the door from us, and he nodded just a fraction. His face twisted with grief, cutting through the mask of indifference, but he didn't say anymore about it. He stood up and went back to his duties.

Another two weeks passed, and I found nothing I could use to escape. No forgotten screwdriver. The window was too thick to break. No one came in anyway, except for the meal, and the doctor doing his weekly checkup. Days started to flow together, I lost track of time, only aware of how long it'd been from the light and darkness that came in through the window. Had it really been a month? A month of this? A month of dreaming about Nick and Antonio's dead bodies? How long was I with the pregnancy now? Another four weeks. I couldn't even figure that out. The shopping for a nursery seemed like a distant memory now. The Pack seemed like a distant memory, one that broke my heart too much to think about much, I had to focus on how to escape. Only there wasn't one. Floor under carpet, metal. Walls, metal under the wallpaper. Bed stuck. TV impossible to reach. Even death couldn't be an escape. I flat out refused to harm or kill the babies. That didn't mean I didn't try, spending four hours a day going over every nook and cranny of the room, allocating the morning to one hour and the afternoon to three. I kept doing yoga for lack of anything else to do.

I kept hearing that girl next door. Bathroom several times a day. Raped, from the sounds of it, several times a week. Maybe more. I didn't know. Maybe not at all? She might have been trying to escape like I was, or maybe trying to piss them off by yelling. I was almost tempted to do that myself. Maybe she'd just lost her mind in here.

I found a few days after I reached the four week mark that I had another side effect of pregnancy, a humiliating one, and when the doctor saw I was struggling to sit comfortably, I was shocked to find I trusted him enough to tell him, even more shocked when I let him look. Haemorrhoids. Not the kind of thing a hollywood movie about a pregnant chick would let on, those horrible things, but his suggestion to lock the bathroom door and sit in a sink full of warm water was dead on. They didn't go but they didn't get worse either. That was a positive thing to focus on. Bum wasn't hurting any more or less than the day before.

The alpha woke me at the start of the fifth week there. He was impatient, tired of waiting, and I found my arms tied behind my back, as I was held down, as he ordered them to keep the doctor downstairs. A collar was snapped around my neck and I struggled with him, struggled as hard as I could while the clothing was cut off me, but I knew it was going to happen. I knew it and I still wasn't prepared for it.

One of them held me down, forcing me to kneel in front of him on the bed, and I felt him prod at my behind. He started to rape me, one hand on the back of the collar and holding it so tight I could barely breathe, using my behind instead of the usual place, not caring if I screamed, not caring that it was agony, that he may as well have been stabbing into me with a knife. When I passed out from the pain and lack of oxygen, I was woken up again, over and over, the alpha ordering them to keep me awake. Let me feel it. Let me feel who owned me, who had the right to my body, who could do whatever the hell they wanted with it from now on. I could smell my own blood as he didn't bother to be gentle or slow, feel it running down the back of my legs, too much of it, far too much. My head was already starting to swim and the boat felt like it was rocking more than usual. Their voices were fading away, distant, sinking away with the sounds of the boat.

This time, when I passed out, I stayed there.

I went home. To Stonehaven. Paige's voice was calling from there and this time, instead of pushing it away, instead of forcing it out with guilt, I clung to it, I followed it away from the pain. And there I was, sitting in a chair, and Paige was speaking to me as if she was right beside me. Or behind me. I didn't know.

"_I'm in your head."_

Well, of course she was, I was unconscious. Did people usually know when they were unconscious? I felt a stab of fear, suddenly, for the babies. I was here and they were there. Still. I could see no bump coming out of the top.

"_No, you're in my body and I'm in your head." _ Paige explained, patiently. _"We've been trying for a while. I'm not sure why it worked so well this time."_

I saw Jeremy there then, I thought, saw a pair of legs I guessed were his and felt a surge of relief, wanted to reach out and touch him. Make sure he was really there. I couldn't move though.

"_You can talk."_ Paige said, softly.

"Jeremy?" My words, Paige's voice. How strange. "Are those your legs?"

"Anne?" He shifted closer, hesitating, before I saw one of his hands reach out and touch Paige's hand. It was difficult, his nature didn't like it much, but maybe he guessed how much I needed that right now. Only, I couldn't feel it, and I needed to. I needed to feel someone who wasn't raping me. I needed to be touched.

I felt Paige flinch in my mind at that thought.

"Look, no bump." I said, but my voice ...or rather, Paige's voice... twisted with a kind of grief that threatened to throw me out again. My babies. Where were they?

"_They're still there."_ Paige said, softly. _"I don't know why it worked so well but you'll go back."_

Jeremy moved to kneel in front of me so I could see him properly now. He looked tired, hands on my hands, but alert enough for me. How badly I wanted to hug him. Or anyone from the pack, for that matter. He spoke, his other hand coming up to find Paige's other hand. "Where are you?"

"On a hundred foot boat circling around New York. Thirty metres. Powered cruiser thing, expensive. Made for cruising with lots of guests, I think, it has a lot of cabins. There's three werewolves, including the alpha, and they leave every Thursday night to change on land." I wanted to say, come get me, I'm being raped, I hurt, I'm fucking terrified for the babies, but this was much more practical.

Again, I felt Paige flinched as she heard my thought, and cringed. Sorry.

"Is Nick okay? Antonio? Did you get them?" Fear again threatened to topple me out of this body, or was it something else, because I felt tugged at. Pulled away. I clung on. I felt so weak though. It had this sensation of wet fingertips trying to hold onto wet glass.

"They're here." Jeremy answered. He stayed guarded about that, but I saw his jaw tense a fraction, and wondered where they were. "What else can you tell us?"

"There's a doctor here. Indian. Dr. Smith, but I doubt that's his real name. His daughter's on another boat. I think they're forcing him to take care of us in exchange for her to be treated okay, he treats me well. Meals come three times a day. I have a window, sometimes looking at New York, sometimes not."

"Are you sure?"

"I see the big green woman every now and then. It's New York. Can I see Nick?"

Jeremy shook his head. "He's sleeping. How are you?"

"Fine." The word didn't seem right.

"How are you really?"

I didn't know how to tell him. "Impatient. Worried about Nick and Antonio. A bit sore." That'd have to do.

He moved aside for someone else, for Elena, who was much more comfortable about touching Paige.

"Have they hurt you?" She spoke softly, hands stroking Paige's hands, with the look of someone who knew about this side. I wanted to tell her and I would have nodded, finding it hard to speak the words. How could I say it? I heard Paige's voice again, as the slippery glass sensation came back, softer.

"_I can tell her for you."_

"Paige will tell you." I replied, finally. I was trembling somehow. It was adding to the glass sensation. "There's another girl here. I think they're hurting her."

Elena nodded. She started to wobble, as my vision started to struggle, sliding upwards while lids slid down, and I heard Paige's voice as it faded, "Let Jeremy in from now on."

I was in bed. 'Dr. Smith' knelt beside me, his face a mask of fury, the smell of my own blood all over the place. On his rubber glove. There was something down there, pressed hard against the spot I'd been raped in, his arm across my body as he held it there hard.

"You could have killed her or the babies. You might still, if her body goes into labour." He was trying to not raise his voice but it was shaking, his hand shaking.

"You didn't tell me not to use that entrance." I could see the alpha's face, just a part of it, and he'd gone white too. He was trying to be cocky but his legs were covered in red. Where was his confidence now? I wanted to laugh at him but I was struggling just to breathe.

"I told you to have no sex at all with her. None. What did you call this? A _date_?"

"What about the infants. Is it too early to cut them out?" He didn't care about my death, in other words, he wanted them.

"It's too early. Much too early." Dr Smith was standing, suddenly, shoving the alpha, shoving him out the door. "Get the hell out of this room and let me do my job. And take this stupid thing with you." He threw the collar at the alpha, slamming the door in his face, before he returned. There was something cold against my neck, an icepack, and he was pressing something back hard against the bleeding. "Are you awake? Just blink twice."

I blinked twice, really glad he didn't ask me to speak, because I knew it wouldn't work well. My entire lower half was in agony. The babies. I panicked, eyes widening, trying to see. Feel. Touch. Smell. Blood, so much.

"Calm down. Two blinks for yes, three for no. Do you feel cramps?"

I felt. No. I felt pain, a hell of a lot of it, but no cramps. So I answered him.

"Good. Are the babies moving?"

They were, I could sense them, feel them wriggle and push like before. I answered him with yes.

"Is the pain closer to a ten than a five, ten being bad?"

A yes this time as well and I saw his face go white again with that fury, that anger.

"Are you allergic to any pain killers?"

No.

He lifted up a syringe and carefully injected it in. "It isn't much but it will help you relax. Can you hold this against your neck for a moment?"

I lifted a hand and held it there, it taking some effort, but my hand blocked it from falling. He nodded and slid down to check, hands gently pressing against the stomach, pushing my legs apart slightly to check there. It was what Pav did, I knew that, but it still made my cheeks redden. He pulled out the thing he'd been holding against the other end.

"Your bleeding is slowing. It looks like he was careful to not touch your stomach or vagina, and there's no signs of impending stillbirth, no bleeding, no contractions, your cervix is still closed and ridged." He was checking, fingers pressing up, and I shut my eyes. It wasn't the least bit sexual but after before, even this was a challenge to endure. "I'll stay with you for the rest of the night. Tell me if the babies slow their moving or stop, or you feel cramps."

I nodded, a fraction, shutting my eyes. The pain was lessening now, the drugs kicking in, and I sighed with relief.

"Your neck's bruised and swollen from that stupid thing." He added, as he moved closer, muttering about idiot men. Took the icepack away, a moment, before replacing it. "Drink some water."

A glass was offered to me and I drank it as best I could, shutting my eyes, knowing somehow that I could trust this man. I slept, uneasily, and woke in pain again to find him again checking the cervix, using some tool I had been too stunned to notice before so he could reach. My throat felt less swollen now.

"Is it okay?" I spoke, voice cracking, and he glanced up. Nodded. I grabbed for the water again, drinking it, finding it help to clear my throat.

"Still nothing wrong there. Your babies are moving, I can feel them as well. Strong ones."

I sighed with relief, relaxing back onto the pillow, trembling a little as I watched him check the other part of me. There was a light in here now, a little one designed to be plugged in and used for blackouts, and I could see the dark stain of blood all over the sheets. Everywhere.

"I bled a lot." I muttered.

"Haemorrhoids and anal sex do not mix. You may take a few days to get strength back." He replied, as he changed the wad of linen, throwing one into a bucket and putting a clean one there. "The bleeding has almost stopped now."

"I want to go home."

He froze then, pity and grief on his own face, as he seemed to agree without words. He felt bad for me. Knew I wasn't wanting to be here, knew I was just as much a captive as his own daughter, knew that whatever had happened before, it was not with my permission. Dr. Smith slid up to sit beside me again, leaning against the drawers beside the bed. It didn't matter if he was human right now. He was keeping me alive and even the wolf in me could tolerate his closeness.

"Is your daughter safe on the other boat?"

He shook his head, eyes dropping down. "I don't think so. Keep that icepack on your neck."

"I'll get her out." A stupid offer, a stupid promise to try and make, I couldn't even sit up. It made him smile a little though. "How old is she?"

"Twenty four. I didn't talk to her. I was angry with her. She loved someone I didn't approve of and I cut her off. I was so proud of her though." He shook his head. "What a stupid thing to cut her off over. _Love_. In a world that doesn't have enough of it. Now she might be..." His eyes flicked up, to me, to the bloody gloves, and he paled.

He thought she was probably being raped too. I wasn't even sure if she was alive still.

"How did you both get... here?"

"They came to my door. Told me that I work for them, for free, in America, or they kill her. Showed me photos of her. I had to come." He spoke so softly that even I had to strain to hear his words. He was shaking a little then. "I couldn't abandon my girl. Then they tell me she's pregnant and if I want her to get the best care I have to give the best care to their slaves."

We jumped a little as the sound of the boat's engine came up, and it started the nightly move to the new location. He shifted to check my throat in the light.

"These aren't his babies." I said, softly, as he checked. He tensed. "They're ..." I wanted to say Nick, I wanted to tell him the truth, but I couldn't. As long as I was here I had to keep it up. "... a different alpha's babies. In New York state. He's trying to stop them. Get us free. All the girls." I didn't tell him how many had died and how few had survived.

He didn't answer. Just sat there, staring at the floor, staring at his own hands.

"How long till I can shower?" I asked after a while, as I felt the pain increase again, felt the throbbing of it right up my back, like he was still there, still raping me. I craved the hot water, craving the soap, wanting to get all that shit off me. I wanted to wash and scrub and clean, and get that layer of skin off down there, I could still feel the pain he'd left behind. Asshole. No wonder why he needed to capture women, he had no clue how to treat one.

"Some hours yet. I'm sorry. I need you to stay still."

I nodded and shut my eyes.

"Is the pain getting worse?"

I nodded again and he shifted to inject another amount of it in, careful. As it took over again, I fell asleep again, sinking back down into the sleep I needed. Into the hall with the bodies.

Jeremy was waiting. Not there, not inside with me, but outside. I heard his voice and now I needed to follow it, needed to find him, because I'd had enough. I needed to see the alpha that I trusted and loved, the one that I really would fight for and trust in.

Dream or not, I told him everything. Maybe it was because I thought it was a dream. It may have seemed real, the sound of his voice, the touch of his hand on mine, but I put that to memories. No pride here, no attempt to hide anything, I just told him what'd happened and how terrified I was. For me, for Nick and Antonio, for the babies, and he listened patiently as he might have done in reality. Hand on mine. Holding it and not interrupting me.

The dream was gone with him promising that they were coming. I woke crying, the Indian doctor sitting there wiping my face, stroking my hair, clearly seeing more of his daughter in me than he ever had, telling me it was just a dream. But it wasn't a dream, not all of it, I hadn't dreamed that attack last night.

I didn't know how much more I could take of this. Five weeks were too much. He'd keep me here till I gave birth. Maybe he'd take them and leave me to die. What had he said? Is it too early to cut them out? It sounded like that was all he wanted to do. Cut them out and leave me here. It was unlikely, after all the effort he'd put in to keep me alive during the change, but it was a threat of sorts too. He didn't care if I died or not right now.

"You can shower now." The doctor said. "Stand and move slowly. I'll help you."

I stood slowly, finding I needed help, every part of my body still struggling to support itself. He helped me into the bathroom and when I could lean against the wall for support. He helped me undress, caring about as much as my naked body as he might have cared about a fish, clearly not the first time he'd done it with a pregnant patient. The shower seemed to help, though I couldn't wash that part of me, it stung far too much. It did get the blood and shit off though and I scrubbed as hard as I could.

While I was there, he must have stripped the sheets and put new ones down, the old ones in a garbage bag. The doctor helped me dress again and I lay back down on the new sheets, cringing, and shutting my eyes.

"Talking to your babies will help. They can hear you." He said, softly, as a knock came on the door.

"Dump the bag in the city somewhere. With holes in it. Try." I hissed, as he went to sit up, pulling hi back down. I'd suddenly realised how useful those sheets were, covered in my blood, in my scent, and he clearly didn't understand because he blinked at me. "Tell them I have some bad disease that means it has to be burnt far away. But don't burn it."

He nodded a fraction. I didn't know how he'd manage it but... he hesitated, obvious he wasn't keen on leaving me here alone but he had to go. Had to leave me.

The alpha was there again, arms crossed, waiting.

"She's to be left on bed rest and no physical contact. At any time." The doctor ordered the alpha, which any other time may not have worked, but this time it was the doctor who was the expert. But the alpha had to pretend. "I need to take this into the city. She has an infectious disease, not passed onto the twins, but which will spread if I don't burn this far away from the ship."

"We'll see. Go make breakfast." The alpha's face whitened just a fraction and he slammed the door on me, cutting out their voices, and I shut my eyes.

Breakfast came and I tried to eat it. I wasn't hungry but I was determined to heal and get my strength back to strangle that asshole. Shove a curtain rod up his ass. I didn't know, I just wanted to hurt him somehow. I forced myself to eat it all, mostly meats and eggs, finding the same hidden treats, drowning it down with the glass of green tea. My body was starting to recover already, bit by bit, but I didn't dare sit up. That part of me was not going to heal as fast as the rest of me.

I heard the boat leave later that day, unable to sit up and see if he had the bag with him, I just had to lie there and hope. Another meal, this one with as much meat and eggs as the first, but with a salad beside it. He'd clearly changed my diet to replace the blood. I was exhausted, falling in and out of sleep as the day went on, waking to find that the light he'd left behind was still plugged in and still lighting up the room enough. I grabbed at it, yanking it out before it got dark enough for the patrols in the hallway to notice, and hid it in the bed. It might come in handy later. The only times I stood up was to get to the bathroom and that took so much out of me that I had to sleep again after.

The second day came, and I started to feel my emotions react to it now. It was hard to believe that he'd done that, that he'd really crossed that line, that it'd really happened. I didn't even want to say the word out loud in my head any more. However much my body healed, I still felt it, the memory of it burnt into my head. I sat up as I heard the boat leave again, heard the three werewolves and one human leave for their nightly thing, and slumped back down.

I was too exhausted to be angry. I wanted to be angry but I was too tired to do it. I slept. I changed, while asleep, woke up a wolf, and crawled into the bathroom to hide in the shower. Hide and tremble, tail tucked under my body, finally giving into the fear and hurt.

It was then that one of the humans came in to give me dinner. He didn't see me at first, or smell me, too busy setting it down off the tray, muttering about being treated like a servant. Didn't expect for there to be an injured wolf in the bathroom. But he did spin around as I leapt, an automatic response that sealed his death.

Teeth closed around his windpipe as I knocked him back onto the bed, my weight on him, tearing. Blood flew up, a gurgle from the hole, and then he went still. Didn't even have time to reach for his gun.

I spun around. The door was open. Usually there were two. There he was, fumbling for his gun, panic in his face as he saw a big wolf race out of the room, face and chest covered with blood. After five weeks of playing possum with them, and two days after being raped, this was probably the last thing they expected. I was on him before he could get it out, struggling with the catch, and he didn't even get to yell.

I froze and inhaled, slowly, checking the ground, listening. Two upstairs, one downstairs. Three werewolves had scents in this hallway, leading to three separate cabins like mine. I ducked my head in them, padding softly on the carpet covered floor, finding bedrooms. The scents would all go to a room beside mine, I found, two sleeping in the other rooms. The last one cabin I checked was locked and when I put my nose to the crack to inhale, I smelt her. A woman. Not even a werewolf. Just a human girl. That meant that I was the only werewolf on board now.

I went downstairs. It was hard, the stairs narrow down here, clearly designed for people and not big wolves, but I froze as I inhaled the scent there. It was the doctor in his room, pacing up and down, I could hear his mutters about something. The other rooms had human scents but were empty now.

A shout came from above me, making me tense, and I knew they'd found their buddies. The doctor slid out of bed and came out the door, only to freeze when he saw me, arms going up.

Even the wolf didn't want to attack him. I growled softly, a low warning growl, fur going up as I slowly made him back up into his room. Stay put. Don't leave. The second he sat down and stopped moving, I stopped growling, and he seemed to get it.

"I won't move."

I moved upstairs, slowly, pressing into the shadows, as feet hurried up and down, kicking open doors like they were in some kind of action film. That just told me where they were. They probably had their guns pointed straight out too. They'd probably called for the werewolves to come back, so I had to move fast, but not like them.

I slunk out a door at the end of the cabin and found myself at the lower cabin's diving area. Waited on my stomach, feeling the little pups wriggle and dance, the fury of a wolf mother more than ready to do whatever the hell I had to.

A boat was coming. I heard it, and so did they, relieved shouts and greetings. It would dock here near me. Another element of surprise for me, for a while, but it wouldn't work well forever. Three werewolves against one pregnant wolf was not a good odds.

One of the humans ran out, with not a gun but a crossbow, it lowered on one side as he waved a light, blinding himself. I almost snorted at how idiotic he was being, catching his gun hand, literally swinging him hard against the edge of the boat. He fell overboard with a scream, dropping the crossbow, which I carefully picked up and threw into the deep water. One less weapon and human to worry about. I crouched, the boat came closer, hearing the injured man try and swim back up to a ladder, panting with pain and the cold of the sea. He found me, again, just hidden behind the wall there, found teeth snapping at his arm and throwing him back into the sea.

The other human rushed out, a crossbow raised, his hands shaking. He didn't see me, or if he did, it was brief. The crossbow was directed towards the light, not towards me, and it just took a quick lunge. Humans were so weak without their weapons, so soft, so fragile, it just took ten seconds to get past his arms and he went limp, a fresh spray of blood filling my nostrils. Such easy prey, so much fun to hunt, to chase, to _scare_. The wolf in me loved it. Wanted to eat them. Wanted to treat them like the meat they were.

I backed off and went back to my room, changing, trembling. Washed it off me, all their blood and shit, scrubbing, and the doctor came up. I heard him vomiting as he caught sight of one of the bodies. Fear was in his face when he saw me again, even though I was human, a dart gun in his hand.

"Here. Shoot me."

"What?" I blinked at him. He shoved the gun into my hand, his hand around the muzzle. "Why? I'm leaving. Escaping."

"You can't escape with the other girl in your condition and I can't leave as long as they have my daughter. Shoot me and I'll keep her safe. Here." He moved closer, thrusting his wallet at me. "There's enough money in there to get what you need to get away. Take anything you like, use the atm card, anything. Use the lifeboat. You said your alpha can save my daughter?"

"I hope so." I took it, hands shaking, unsure. "But he might not..."

"I'm happier hearing I hope so. Shoot me and get going. He didn't get his call out to them, I made sure of that, but they'll be back at dawn and you want to be far away by then." 'Dr. Smith' waited, arms outreached, another gun in his hand, as if he was reaching to grab me and drug me. He handed me a slip of paper with his pin on it, for the card, and assured me there was a few thousand dollars. I could pay him back when we got his daughter out.

I nodded, thanked him, and shot him. He fell backwards, over the other man, and I hurried out.

The lifeboat was on the lower back deck, it took some effort to get it down, particularly as I was still weaker than usual. But I got it into the water and slid into it, yanking the oars up and moving away. I could see boats, see suburbs or something, and headed for them. Switched boats, finding another lifeboat anchored, leaving that one drifting in the sea. This one had a motor and fuel, thank god, so I moved in the other direction, the boat cutting through the sea in the dark night.

The boat drifted away from my sight and so did the lifeboat, the city coming into sight. I didn't know what time it was. I just knew that I had to get moving now. They knew where I would be going. They knew I'd be going to Stonehaven. I'd have a few hours ahead of them and I had to make it count.

I hopped out of the boat at a small dock beside the big city, shoving the boat back in once I was done, kicking it away. Hopefully it'd be carried a while by the tide before they located it, if ever. The lights of a building at the end of the pier winked to me in the darkness and I made my way along the wood, finding a cafe still open and still roaring with business. There was an atm there too, which amused me, allowing me to check that the account did have enough. It did. Well over three thousand and four hundred dollars waiting.

I withdrew fifty and went out to where a taxi had just pulled up to drop someone off. A woman was heading for it, but she took a look at me, at my stomach, and stood back.

"Go ahead, I'm craving a coffee."

I thanked her and slid in.

"What time is it?" I asked the driver, who glanced at his watch.

"Nine thirty. Where to?"

I had to think about that. The airport, apparently there were flights, but I didn't know how long I'd have to wait. An hour? Two? Five? But at least I'd be able to get a taxi from there easily enough.

"The airport. JFK."

He nodded and took off. I sat there, fingering the man's pin in my mind, vowing to repay him when I could.

But then, I realised, I didn't have ID. Fuck.

"Um, how would you feel about a really big trip instead? I'd pay you for it. Huge tip." It'd be expensive, I bet.

"Where to?"

I told him the address and he whistled, shaking his head, but he looked almost delighted by the offer. But he pulled over, glancing back, clearly not sure if he wanted to believe it or not. "You sure? You'd have to pay for my return trip and that'll be-" He paused, checking it, eyes goggling. - One grand and two hundred. Isn't it better to fly in your condition?"

"Car travel is better for me than a plane." I glanced down at my stomach as his eyes went down to it as well. "I get sick on a plane but a car is calming."

"My wife said the same thing when we tried to visit the inlaws. Wanted me to drive the whole way. Boy did I regret pushing the flight on her. All right. If you're sure you want to spend that much..."

I nodded, offering to pay half of it right now. He agreed, shaking his head, radioing it in as we pulled out again.

This was better. Cars were harder to trace by scent. Even if they thought about a taxi, searching for a huge fare, they might have struggled catching up by the time they knew I was gone. I asked him to ask them to keep it quiet, that I needed it to stay quiet, to pretend they hadn't heard about it if anyone asked, and he blinked before he added that. A kind of understanding was dawning on his face as he glanced back at me, taking in my appearance again, eyes lingering on my stomach.

We drove, sliding out of the city, and I pretended to nap.

An hour after we were gone, he started to ask me questions, and I stiffened. But after a while I understood why- he thought I was escaping from an abusive partner. Thought that was why I was limping, why I was so pale, why I looked exhausted, hair unwashed, shadows under my eyes, why I'd suddenly wanted a taxi instead of a plane and why I was using a man's card when I was a woman.

"Hey, no problems from this end." He said, when I muttered something like 'I can't really explain but thanks'. "Take the bastard for all he's got and get that baby the hell out of town."

I smiled weakly and he decided that was the answer. It was safer to let him think that. He didn't ask any more questions and the drive dragged out, anxiety and panic keeping me awake when I was so exhausted I could have passed out, hands stroking across my stomach softly as the babies did their wriggles now and then.

I pretended to sleep again and he didn't ask any more questions. It was a long drive, though he hurried for me, the night road clearing as we left the city and got into the highways. I ignored the need to pee, ignored the need for sleep, the hunger that made my stomach rumble so loudly that he offered back a sandwich and I shook my head, saying it was gas. Ignored the pain in my backside that still hadn't faded. It was bleeding again, I suspected, this was a lot of activity for it. Oh well. I shoved down the panic that it was the babies and finally asked him to stop at a service station so I could pee. He seemed to be expecting that, nodding, and said he needed to get some food.

Fifteen minutes there, so I could check that I wasn't bleeding from anywhere but the behind, relief at finding nothing was wrong still, and I hurried in to buy a huge bag of snacks. Didn't care if they were organic or not, my hunger was not a safe thing to play with in this state. The last thing I needed was to change again mid-trip.

He laughed softly, shaking his head as I slid back in with the huge bag of stuff, and we started again. Two hours to go. I kept glancing back at the road, kept expecting to see a car chasing us down, kept expecting something bad to happen. Every time a car came up to us or passed us, my heart raced with panic, and I crammed another block of chocolate into my mouth to calm down again. Each one vanished after a while and I relaxed again.

The driver, Bob, had made up his mind that it was an abusive partner now, and started to tell me about how there were tons of groups that'd protect me. I should look them up. I nodded, vaguely, and yawned. Pretended to sleep, every sense on alert, listening for any changes in cars around us, any voices, any smells coming through the crack in the window that wasn't welcome.

"Fifteen minutes." The drive called, softly, after some time. I had fallen asleep, jumping, and he added, "Sorry, thought you were awake."

"I ...don't want to wake up my parents. Can you pull up a little down the street from them?"

"You sure? It's nearly two in the morning."

"It's better I let them sleep tonight. I'll think about what you said. About women's support things." I insisted, adding the last part for him and he nodded.

The smells coming in the window were familiar now. So familiar I didn't dare believe it but the GPS on his dash confirmed it. I was nearly home.

"Here we are. Here... I'll take off the second tip."

"No, that's okay. Keep it. For getting me the hell out of there." I slid forward and did the card before he could change it, keeping the amount in mind to pay back the doctor when I could, and slid out of the car.

I watched him turn around and head off again. My legs shook, the bag of junk in one hand, teeth chattering with nerves. Every sound, every movement around me, it no longer was safe or comforting, even as I walked along the driveway into the property. Shadows seemed to be threatening, the smells barely able to comfort me, even when I smelt familiar trails of the pack along there. I should have felt safe here. I should have felt comfortable, relaxed, protected.

I was terrified. The darkeness crowded in on me, the smell of the snow was gone, left with dampness, unfamiliar animals awake from their winter slumber and making noises I didn't know. Stars above me were in the wrong places. Winter barely had stars, I hadn't noticed that before, but now that I looked up...it was nothing like Australia.

It wasn't even winter anymore. What was it, if it'd been five weeks, April? The start of spring? Middle? I had no clue. It wasn't cold like winter.

The driveway finally wound around and came up to the house. Only a dim light was on in the kitchen, the rest of it asleep, and I realised I had no key. Um. I walked up, bare feet crunching on the gravel, shaking so hard now that I had to stop a moment to urge my body to go just a bit further. I was nearly home. Nearly home. Just a few more metres. I could knock. Throw something at a window. I could _break_ a window, so to speak, I owned the place.

I went for knocking and stepped up onto the porch. Tried to breathe. Tried to fight the anxiety that they wouldn't be here, even though I could hear someone coming to the door already, tried to breathe, tried to knock.

Knock...

The door opened and my fist hit someone's chest instead. A hand closed around my wrist, scaring the crap out of me, as I was literally yanked inside and the door slammed behind me, locks going, arms coming around me to squeeze me until I _really_ couldn't breathe and had to shove whoever it was back.

"Nick?"

He stared at me like I was a ghost, nostrils flaring, hands running up and down my arms. Across my face, stroking my hair, down across my stomach. It was the feeling of a baby moving that had him stare, shake his head. He looked like he was half drugged himself, eyes unfocused, movements sluggish.

"This is one hell of a hallucination." He muttered.

"This better not be one. I don't think I can do that trip again without having a heart attack. Want a chocolate?" I held up the bag, hand shaking still, and he stared at the bag. Stared at me. Reached back out, his scent crashing into my nostrils, and my legs gave way as relief flooded me, falling to the ground and kneeling there against his legs. I was home and he was alive.

He seemed to fall too after thirty seconds, arms grabbing me and tugging me against him more gently than before. Lips found my head, my forehead, my face, my lips, his mouth pressing gentle kisses all over my face, one part of his lip rougher than I remembered. I pushed him back and saw a long thin scar there across part of it, maybe where glass had dug in, another scar on the side of his forehead. His eyes searched my face too, before he stood up, pulling me up with him.

Lights came on upstairs, Violetta coming crashing down the stairs three steps at once, clearly ready to do battle. She stared at me like he had, like I was a ghost, like I wasn't supposed to be here. "You..."

"She's home." Nick told her, arm under me as I swayed, and I knew he wanted to lift me up. Carry me to our bed like some stupid hero in a book. But he was still half drugged with something and I suspected I was helping _him_ stand as much as he was helping _me_ stand.

Vi grabbed me in a hug, and Nick to my shock, red curls flying as she grabbed us both in a hard hug, raining kisses on both of us. "Stupid, stupid, stupid..." She said, between Russian, the words flying as she scolded us and loved us both. "Where was she?"

"At the front door."

She stood back and he shrugged. Then Vi's eyes locked onto me.

"I got a taxi."

Vi blinked again. Not much better of an answer, I knew, but that was it. I got a taxi. Spent over a thousand dollars getting home. Well, it was his money, but he'd get twice it back. "From where, New York city?"

I nodded and she laughed, grabbing me again, hugging me and lifting me up in her arms as I swayed. Now this I wasn't expecting, to be lifted up like I was a child by Violetta, but she ignored my protests and carried me up the stairs, clearly able to handle it. Nick followed close behind.

"Are you hungry?" When I nodded, she stood up, calling, "Pav, she is hungry." I glanced to see Pav hurrying past, fingers brushing the wall so she could see in the dark, Vi moving out to help her. Nick guided me to the bed and I collapsed onto it, exhaustion flooding through me. He wasn't done, he was yanking off my pants, trying to find out where I was bleeding, calling for her to bring a first aid kit up as well.

"It's not a place you can put a bandaid." I muttered.

"It's still bleeding?" Even drugged, he seemed to wake up more, tensing as he found what he probably hadn't wanted to see, the sound of something ripping in his hands. He knew about it then. I shut my eyes, shame flooding me. I should have fought him harder.

"It'll stop."

Pav returned with the first aid kit and made him tell her what he was seeing, doing virtually the same thing the doctor had done, and telling him to put pressure there as she checked to make sure it wasn't bleeding somewhere else. It wasn't, she said with relief, as she checked me the same way he had, apparently I was still perfectly normal. No cramps? No. No pains? Only in my bum. She sat down, relieved, stroking my stomach gently as I lay on my side, eyes shut.

"He was a pain in the ass to live with. I'm glad I moved out." I muttered, trying to smile, trying to joke, trying to lighten the mood. Apparently Nick didn't find it funny, I heard the sudden smash of something against a wall, Nick vanishing outside in the dark to dismantle the log pile and swear so he didn't wake the kids. If they were here at all? I didn't know.

Pav shook her head and stayed where she was, hands stroking my side, my arm, her smell relaxing me. I fell asleep and woke when someone gently shook me, food under my nose.

"Eat and go back to sleep. Nick's cleaning up his mess." Pav said softly, as Vi vanished out the door, and I ate as she watched, glad to have a spoon again, the thick soup filling the holes in my stomach that junk had missed.

"Where is everyone else? Antonio? Is he here? All right?"

Pav shook her head. "Go to sleep. We can talk in the morning." I tried to argue but I was too tired, too worn out, too relieved to be here. Home. Safe.

I fell asleep again. I had bad dreams still, dreams that I was still in that ship, that I was in that cell, that he was raping me again, constantly waking up. Nick was there every time, fully awake now, sitting with me and quick to notice if I'd woken up again. The worst ones were of running. Running, and running, and running, a never ending driveway and loosing the babies on the driveway but I had to keep running, I had to keep going, because he was coming. I had to leave them. I had to run. Or the one that had me wake up on the boat, this being all a dream, waking up to find him doing it again. Over and over and over.

Finally I told Nick to sleep beside me, hold me, and stay close so I could smell him. He blinked and nodded, slipping into the bed beside me, an arm across me.

This time it worked. I slept.


	16. Breathing

I woke as Nick stood up early the next morning, before sunrise, as if he was too restless to lie there. I kept my eyes shut, listening to him near the wardrobe, taking things off hangers and putting things back on the hangers, like he was cleaning it up, the sound of rustling for a while.

I fell asleep to it, slipping back into the dreamless sleep, and when I next woke he was standing beside the window, curtain aside, sunlight streaming in on him. I couldn't resist looking up at him as he stood there, the warm light highlighting the warm brown in his hair, the olive skin, body so toned and well cared for, white and red scars across his back and chest and arms. All looked more or less the same age but some were much more dramatic than others. And while they flawed the beauty, somewhat, that he might have had when he was younger they just added to how damn handsome he was now as an adult.

He stayed there, eyes fixed on the world outside, as he tended to do when his mind was working over something that Nick didn't want to say yet. I yawned and continued to watch him, through heavy blinks of my own, trying to push the desire to sleep a little bit more to the back. Just let me look a little longer. Just a bit more. I was getting so used to his moods now, seeing the real moods behind his silly pranks and jokes, and apparently a month apart hadn't changed that.

He knew I was awake, apparently, because he started to make his muscles flex. A small smile appeared on his face, twitch, twitch, tense. Very nice sight, I had to admit, very nice, but if he came too close I'd have to tickle those muscles and see how macho was then. He glanced sideways at me as he flexed his arm, smile hiding the tension he was really feeling under the surface, and sat on the edge of the bed, laying back so his head was right up against my breasts.

"They're building their spines now."

"Huh?" I blinked at him, sleep fogging my head, unable to keep up that much with him.

"The puppies. Spines are forming. Nostrils opening. Lungs getting ready to work." I felt a tremor go through him as he added softly, "I didn't stop following it while you were missing. Made Clayton read it out while I was in bed. Even though they kept telling me that you might... that they might have been ..." He cut off, jaw tightening, one arm shifting up so that he could reach for my hair and play with it. "I knew you were alive."

"He thought they were Jeremy's babies. Wanted to steal the alpha's children."

Nick tried to laugh. It came out as a cough and his head twisted in the other direction to the stomach so close to him, pushing up the fabric so that he could kiss it, touch it with his other hand, get a really good close look. There was a low possessive growl there, just under his breath, as he decided. "Mine."

"All yours." I agreed, shutting my eyes, body ready to surrender to that. He could stand watch for a while. I was exhausted. "Sore back duty too."

I felt him stand up again stand on the bed, stepping carefully over me, and lay down so that he could rub my back and hips, stroking me, the aches and pains easing as he did it. That was nice. I was done being superhero pregnant werewolf. I just wanted to be super tired fat pregnant woman instead. The fingers against my aching skin and my increasing desire to nap some more took over, before I was back in that sleep, feeling safer than I had for days.

Voices woke me some time later, outside.

"Have you gotten through to them yet?" Nick was out there, talking to Pav, halfway up the staircase.

"No. Phone's off. I left messages."

I sat up slowly, amazed how difficult that was now after last night's effort, and slid to my feet. The robe I used to wear no longer went around me. But exploring the wardrobe I found clothing that would fit me, even now, a month later. No, wait. It was new clothing. When the hell did he manage that? I didn't have time to ask though, I had a more important thing to ask, so I just tugged on one of the bras and a dress that turned out to only come mid thigh but I was in a hurry, spent two minutes trying to get the panties on while bending and stepping was difficult, before I hurried out to find those voices.

They were turning down the staircase, Nick heading down behind Pav, and I called, "Where's Antonio?"

"Here, sweetie." Arms closed around me from behind, arms so much like Nicks, and the smell of him too came over me. Relief flooded me as he hugged me into his chest, chin on the top of my head, aware that he was not dead. He hadn't died. But he did sound tired. Very tired. It wasn't like him at all. I inspected the less muscled than usual arms as he hugged me, seeing similar scars to the one Nick had. Glass? He released me as he added, "I didn't want to keep you awake last night."

I turned to see the damage plainly on his chest, a shirt in his hand, the spot they'd ripped a hole through him still covered with a bandage, and he undid it for me. Showed me. It was more or less healed but still it smelt 'wounded' to me. I didn't know how to explain that but it did.

"I'm sorry I couldn't fight." He explained, eyes moving up to Nick who'd frozen at the top of the stairs, the apology as much for him as it was for me. It felt like it wasn't the first time he'd offered it to Nick either. Nick didn't answer. He just went downstairs, ignoring his father, refusing to answer. I blinked, twisting around. "He didn't take it well."

I turned to look up at Antonio. His face was still so pale and he sounded like he had trouble breathing. "What's wrong with your lungs?"

"The bolt and a shard of glass on the other side tore a muscle that helps my lungs work, the diaphragm, part of the lung and some other things that I need on both sides. I am told it may take some time to put itself right. That's why I'm still here and not looking for you." He let me touch the space, let me touch where it had gone in. It looked so small, the scar, so tiny. I turned him around, and he followed my prompts, as I turned him around, finding other scars. Cuts. Nasty looking ones. Deep looking ones. Tiny scrapes that were more or less faded. Apparently even for a werewolf falling directly on broken glass was not recommended. "I couldn't move. I'm sorry."

I hugged him hard, tugging the big man down, kissing his forehead. Relief flooded through me, I'd have expected it to go for his heart, or kill one of his lungs, or split his stomach open or do something else terrible. Too much delicate stuff in there. "You had a big bloody hole in your chest. I thought you'd _died_. I would have been more upset if you'd tried and died trying to chase me down. " I trembled at that, memories of the nightmares I'd had flooding into my head, thinking I'd been responsible for Nick loosing his father. "I thought you'd both died. Sometimes. When I was asleep."

He reached out to hug me again, harder, and I let him. The smell of hot food drifted up the stairs to both of us, as I stood there trembling at the memory of those dreams, the guilt, the fear that it was more than a dream.

"Come on, we need breakfast." Antonio pulled on his shirt and draped an arm across my shoulders, the muscles not nearly as prominent as they had been last I'd seen him, and we headed downstairs together.

Nick still didn't look at him. Antonio glanced at him a moment before he sat down. I sat down beside him.

Pav was cooking, Vi making coffee, the sounds of a normal kitchen and a normal life difficult to take in. I couldn't relax. I sat there, stiff, part of me wondering if this was a dream after all. If I'd made up a dream, where Nick was alive, and Antonio was alive, and I was home again in my house. I almost felt like I was loosing it.

I flinched when Nick's hand came onto my shoulder, and he blinked at me, confusion at my reaction. He tightened his grip as he sat down, dragging my chair closer to him, our legs brushing against each others.

"You all right?" He leaned forward, kissing my neck, my shoulder, allowing me to whisper. Of course everyone would hear it, in a house like this that was no surprise, but it helped.

"It feels like a dream. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up on the boat and none of you are there." I told him. "That maybe you and Antonio are dead where I left you to die. That I'm making you up."

He inhaled sharply, tugging me into his lap, not an easy thing and it made the chair groan somewhat. "I'm not dead. We're not dead. I wasn't allowed to come for you."

"No one here was." Vi spoke up as she slid two plates in front of us. "The rest of the pack searched."

"Is that where everyone is?"

Nick nodded. He let me get back into my seat, anxiety about how much the chair could take overwhelming the need for him to be close, but one of his hands remained in mine. "Left yesterday. Karl reported finding a bag and a sketch of a boat in it. It had bloody sheets in it. Jeremy identified it as your blood." His shoulders tensed, eyes darting to me, making sure I was there right beside him. "I felt it. Everything you felt. I tried to find you."

"And guess who had to keep bringing him home." Vi added, narrowing her eyes at him. "And keep you drugged. Stay put, Jeremy says, and you keep running off. Scaring people on boats around New York. Over and over and over, big boats, little boats, ships, I keep hearing of you on police radio, man swimming to boats and scaring humans." She shook her head, a soft laugh now, though I suspected she hadn't been amused at the time. "Or big dog swimming onto boats and scaring humans. Shot at more than once. I thought Jeremy was going to lock him in the cage for a while."

"I was looking for her. I knew she was on a boat. I was getting sea sick. I was right too." Nick defended himself as he ate, only pausing to give me a look when I hadn't touched my plate. He was torn between wanting to tease me by taking it and shoving it at me to get me to eat.

Vi might have rolled her eyes at this once but she seemed to hesitate and sigh. "Okay, you were right about the boat. I admit that."

"And about what he did." He stabbed at something on his plate and missed, cracking the plate. I stared at him. Had he felt it?

"Yes. That also." Her face softened a little, going from me to him. "But your alpha said to stay."

"It was more of a suggestion." Nick muttered, yanking his fork out and trying to eat. He glanced back at me, back at my plate, and pushed it towards me. "Before you ask, the drugs were to help me rest."

I sighed and started to eat. I didn't know how I felt. Furious, guilty, angry, hurt, the idea that my mate had shared the rape with me, even if only a fraction... the second I got these babies safely out, I was going to hunt him down myself. No more being prey. I was the fucking hunter and he'd made me this way.

"Jeremy, Clayton and Elena were going to get you last night. The doctor you spoke of left a drawing of the boat and what times the mutts left the boat." Antonio said softly from beside me.

"I got a chance to escape and I took it." I replied. "Was he really coming?"

"They called us just before they left the airport at nine." Pav responded as she slid down beside Vi.

I laughed, a dry laugh, making them all blink. "I was leaving New York at nine thirty. Taxi at a pier. Guess we just missed each other. Have they called back?"

"Not yet." A flash of panic came to override the other emotions for a second and Vi shook her head. "Relax. Jeremy will probably try and search the boat for clues as to where you are. Talk to the doctor. Try and wait for the mutts to return. They are not going to be long now."

"I drugged the doctor."

"Then that may delay them finding it out." She responded, squeezing my knee under the table, only to have Nick's hand chasing it away with a fork. "Not long now."

"How did you two..." I turned to Nick, then to Antonio.

"Not die?" Antonio asked and I nodded. "Jeremy sensed something was wrong. Clayton was already at JFK when Nick called him. Second he heard the glass start to break he was on his way." He responded. "Did not react well to what he found. Managed to get us both stable while on the phone to these two nurses. He was impressed with your use of a spoon, by the way, but we agree we will teach you how to fight properly." Antonio explained slowly, with visible pauses, like he couldn't get enough air in his lungs if he spoke too many words.

I flushed, remembering that so long ago, that desperate attempt to get one of them off me. Maybe it'd been a bit too brutal. A bit too cruel. I'd have to add it to the list. I felt guilty about it, about these deaths I'd caused, even if they'd been fighting for the wrong side. Two months ago I would have assumed all of the men working for the alpha were bastards. I knew different now. Who knew if the ones I'd killed were good or bad? Bribed or in it for the kicks?

Hunger vanished at that thought. I remembered how it felt to kill the men on the boat, how they'd been so easy to kill, so soft, so easy to rip apart, and how I'd almost wanted to try and eat them at the time. What if they'd been like the doctor? Too afraid and protecting someone? And I'd enjoyed killing them.

I ate, though I didn't want to, eyes on the table and not on anyone. I hated it, hated this side of me, hated that I could or would enjoy something like that. This hunter in me was great for the assholes but I didn't know their stories. I didn't know who was an asshole and who was in trouble. If the doctor hadn't told me, would I have killed him too? I might have.

The twins appeared then, sliding into the chairs, gasping at the sight of me. I smiled at them, weakly, and was quick to excuse myself. It had reminded me of someone else I had wanted to see all those weeks, worried over, constantly wishing I could see. But I'd have to shower first. I probably looked like a zombie.

I saw myself upstairs in the bathroom mirror and found I'd guessed right. No wonder why Logan and Kate had gasped. I still looked as awful as last night, hair all over the place, skin pale, shadows still there under eyes, a obvious bruise where the collar had dug in, and got into the shower as fast as my aching behind would let me. It was only a minute before Nick slipped into the bathroom behind me, yanked off his clothing and joined me.

I stiffened, expecting him to try something, but he didn't. He stood there beside me, helping me clean myself, pressing soft kisses on my wet skin as I leaned against the shower wall.

"Did you really feel it?"

Nick nodded, sliding the soap across my legs, kneeling.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for that. That was not your fault." He muttered. "Don't think you're hunting him alone now though. This is _our_ problem. Nice trio of stretch marks." A finger trailed up my stomach, along a pale line, and lips followed it. Kissing them as the shower poured down on his head. "They're like tiger stripes."

I watched him, shaking my head. I hadn't noticed them. There was the slightest reaction to him, as his hand slid between my legs with the soap, a stirring of heat responding to my mate's touch and smell. Then fear. Not of him, not at all, but I was afraid. He didn't touch me anymore than to clean, even as he kissed my thigh, and stood up to gently clean my chest as well, up along my neck, lips pressing gently along the bruise there.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect you better." He was shaking suddenly, sliding the soap onto its rack, holding me closer. "So wrapped up in trying to find ways to not think about how you could die giving birth, I didn't focus enough on keeping you safe now."

I relaxed into him then, shutting my eyes, trembling as well. The feel of him against me was the most comforting thing that he could offer. "I... I was too wrapped up in trying to keep you happy and distracted. We both were insane. I can't believe I went to Ikea on my own."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "No, neither can I. Or that I wanted to buy that rug."

"The seven thousand dollar one?"

"Mmhmm." He was relaxing, smiling, a soft chuckle in his throat. "Madness."

"Nick?"

"Mm?"

"You can still touch me." It was a little late to tell him that, given that we were naked and standing against each other, but it made him laugh and relax. Hands stroked across my breasts as he stood back, gazing down. I _had_ to give him permission. Had to say it out loud. Somehow it helped me to know that he would listen to me, whether I said yes or no, willing to back off or come closer as I wanted. "Only you."

Nick nodded, before he reached behind me for the shampoo, offering it. I cleaned my hair, finally, after so long, shutting my eyes as his hands stroked along my back, rubbing it, the warmth of the water and his palms easing the aching muscles there. "No need to rush that. I'm going to tie you up and keep you in bed from now on."

"No, don't. No ties." I felt a flicker of panic at that, remembering how my arms had been tied, how I'd been helpless. "Not for a while."

He stiffened and nodded. "No ties."

His arms wrapped around me from behind, the conditioner sitting there, chin on my shoulder. We waited, quiet, probably standing there longer than the three minutes, before he reached up to direct it down and ran his fingers through my hair. I shut my eyes and enjoyed it.

"I'll get you a jacket for that dress." Nick stepped out and wrapped a towel around himself. "Two seconds."

"One, two?" I called as he vanished. Shut my eyes. I felt back there, feeling the damage left behind, cringing. It was swollen and nasty there. No wonder why Nick was so upset. He was less than thirty seconds before he returned with a dark jacket. "When did you buy all that stuff in the wardrobe?"

"The day before we went shopping in the city. Thought you'd need some spring clothing when you got bigger. Look, jeans!" He held something else up, pleased with himself, as I stepped out and reached for the towel. However upset Nick was about how I'd been hurt, about loosing me, he still couldn't resist that side of him, the side that wanted to make me smile and spoil me rotten. He held up other things he'd found for me, panties, maternity bras that were actually kind of nice looking, short sleeve tops, things that showed he was thinking well ahead.

"You'll have to help me dress. I can barely move."

"No problem." He helped me towel off, careful, and I leaned on his shoulders as he helped me step into the panties and jeans.

"Is it really spring?"

Nick nodded as he stood up, pulling them up and doing them up around my tummy. "Didn't you see?"

"It was pitch black last night."

"Want to go see the land?" He offered a top but I reached for the dress instead, it was short enough to work as a long top too, pulling it on after I tugged the bra on. It was like he'd first brought me here- wanting to show me, wanting to lead me around, show the land off. "All the animals are starting to have babies."

"I want to go see Matt and then bed." I answered. Yawned. I was tired. I just wanted to crawl back into bed and stay there. "Can you bring spring up to me instead?"

He grinned and lifted me up. Any excuse, it seemed, for Nick to display his strength and to do something silly. Hadn't Violetta done it too? Maybe that was why he'd been waiting for an excuse to try it again.

We headed downstairs.

"Does he still think..."

"Pav explained about how the man lied to him. He's a smart kid. The man didn't tell him that it'd hurt as much as it was, he said it'd be easy like a cold, so he knew that he'd been lied to. When he found out we'd been left for dead and you were gone... apparently the man had promised him to not hurt any more people. He doesn't like liars." Nick stepped slowly, carefully.

"Did he notice I was gone?"

"Kept asking about you. We told him the truth."

"How is he doing?" I asked, as we made our way down the stairs slowly, nuzzling against Nick.

"Had some trouble again, more fevers, he nearly died once, but he's getting stronger all the time. Clayton's helping him accept it and he's happy now about it." Nick set me down on the ground floor, the staircase to the basement too narrow for his little hero action thing.

Nick jogging ahead of me so that he could walk in front of me on the staircase, one arm twisting back to rest on my leg, like he was ready to be there if I fell. He'd _always_ done that. He'd _always_ wanted to go first down stairs. Even before I was pregnant. I suddenly understood why.

Matt was there, cage door wide open, playing with dinosaurs with Kate and Logan. He was talking. I stared at him, as he took a while to notice I was there, telling them about how this dinosaur ate deer because it was a were-dinosaur. The sound of his voice sent thrills up and down my spine, when I'd left him he'd not known how to talk, and while he struggled to speak full English, he still was getting his point across.

Then he saw me and he smiled. He actually _smiled_. His face lit up, red hair longer now, freckles and a slight tan to his skin suggesting he'd been outside a bit since I'd been gone. There was color back in his skin too.

"Hi."

"Feeling better?" He asked, standing up.

I nodded. Swallowed a lump of emotion, again, trying to not burst into tears and scare the kid.

"He lied. Pretended to be good guy. I don't like liars." He explained this, simply, the logic of a kid who didn't need to know motives or anything else. The alpha had lied to him and so he was clearly a bad guy pretending to be a good guy. I suddenly really was grateful towards cartoons that showed bad guys who did that. He could watch them as much as he wanted for the rest of his life now.

"He pretended to be a good guy with me too." I said, sitting down, and he nodded.

"Dad." He pointed at the wall. I noticed that on the wall there was a photo of me in the wedding dress, so long ago now it seemed, standing there with a slightly stunned smile on my face beside Nick. There were other photos too, of his mother ,of his family, and he was pointing at a photo of his father with his mother, when his father hadn't been sick.

"Yes. That was your dad. He got sick and died but he wanted to meet you." I nodded, trying to rub a tear off, and Nick came to lean on the wall beside me.

"Like dinosaurs?" He offered one up then, accepting me there, and went back to his play as he let me watch.

I stayed there for an hour with them, the three kids, sitting there as they played. Matt didn't touch me or go near me, but he smiled, and he showed me his toys, keeping his safe distance from me. He told me he was a wolf boy now. There was some wariness there, even pretend aggression, but neither Kate nor Logan let him push them around, a kind of mock battle going on between the three of them. It was like Clayton and Nick. They'd adopted each other. They were allowed close, close enough to touch, and at one point to pretend to wrestle over one of the toys.

He asked about the babies too and in return I asked him what he wanted his bedroom to look like when it was finished. He liked dinosaurs. He wanted were-dinosaurs. I smiled, which made him smile again, and when it was time to go I waved.

"He only lets Pav touch him sometimes. Only the kids get to be that close." Nick said softly, behind me, while we made our way upstairs. "He hasn't smiled that much in two hours since he started to do it."

I was glancing back, and as I came out of the door, bumped into someone.

Jeremy blinked down at me, looking tired but alert, quickly grabbing for me as I almost fell backwards again. Not a good idea. Nick was slower to notice him or me slipping. One second after I'd noticed, he glanced to see why I'd stopped on the top stair and blinked.

"Jer-"

"I was waiting for you two." Jeremy pulled me out of Nick's way, careful to get my feet firm on the floor before he hugged me, his smell washing over me and comforting me easily as much as Nick's had. Funny how an alpha had that power. Elena had it too. "Welcome home."

"What are you doing here?" I asked against his chest, feeling the last of my tenseness ease off. He was safe too. Voices somewhere nearby upstairs, Clayton, and Elena going up the staircase. "They said you were in New York."

"We found the boat and a groggy doctor. He explained where you'd gone. By the time we figured it out, found the pier, and managed to bribe a taxi driver enough money to tell us if a pregnant woman had gotten a taxi somewhere, you were already halfway here. Apparently none of the taxi drivers wanted to talk to Clayton. Found his attitude intimidating. Daniella and Elena had to ask in the end. Something about an abused pregnant woman fleeing the city." He seemed slightly amused, letting me go. "The doctor seemed to think you were going to be followed so we came straight back on a plane."

"Is he all right?"

"He's here."

I paled slightly. "But his daughter-"

"Is here too. All are fine. Relax. Are you all right?" He looked me over up and down, careful, nostrils flaring slightly. "Still bleeding?"

"Just a bit. It's nearly healed. What about the mutts following me?" I flushed. Did everyone know? How embarrassing. But then again, maybe not, I couldn't see Jeremy doing that. Telling everyone. _Nick_ might have, if he was worked up, if he was panicking, but Jeremy wouldn't.

"Keep these stairs to a minimum then. Elena will talk to you later when everyone calms down. We're going to be on the lookout for any mutts trailing you. Reece and Karl are leading the hunt for them on the other side."

"Jeremy, I told him you were the father. He didn't want to kill them when he thought that."

Jeremy froze, slightly, raising an eyebrow at Nick's inhale. He seemed to understand. "All right. It was probably the right thing to say at the time. As long as you don't ask for child support."

"You can paint the walls with Nick." I muttered. "When we free up a room."

"Deal." Jeremy touched my arm, gently. "Come have some more breakfast."

It wasn't an order but I knew he would insist if I said no, so I nodded and followed him.

Doctor 'Smith' was standing there in the kitchen, a cup of tea in his hand, looking exhausted and overwhelmed. He had probably never met werewolves like Jeremy, or Elena, who weren't sadistic or cruel, but who were intelligent. They'd clearly allowed him to come here, into our home, into our territory, which was one hell of a compliment towards a human from werewolves. I was glad. He'd saved my life, maybe, and maybe the babies as well.

"Anne. You look better already." He grabbed me in a hug. I didn't flinch much. "No problems?"

"Just healing pains." I glanced around for a girl, for a daughter, seeing no one. "Where's the girl?"

"The one beside you? Hospital. She didn't know what they were and needed medical care beyond my capabilities. Even if she had heard, she would be too badly traumatised to believe it when she recovers." He shrugged but it was stiff, a jerk, his face going red for a fraction of a second. She must have been in a bad way. I wasn't surprised, I just wished I could have done something. Saved her. I didn't know how. But that wasn't who I'd been asking about.

"Your daughter. Where is she?"

He smiled then, the first genuine smile I'd seen from him, and pointed behind me towards the kitchen table. I turned.

It was the most obvious answer, something I hadn't even thought of, but when I looked at her I suddenly saw it. The same face. Same hair. The same smile. The same career, for crying out loud. And his comments on love...

"Pav?"

"They lied to him. I wasn't pregnant or on a boat." She answered, sipping her drink, as her father moved past me to sit beside her. They'd clearly already spoken, made up, because she smiled at him, and he was a little awkward with her, like he wanted to hug her but he wasn't sure if he had the right to that yet.

"I didn't even think of you..."

"In a situation like that you weren't expected to." Her father shook his head as he looked down at Pav, that same awe of the building applying to her, pride filling his gaze. "My baby. I'd never have thought you'd be so..." He shook his head again as she leaned forward to hug him.

Vi was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, arms crossed, staring him down with a challenging stare. The doctor's eyes followed Pav's eyes to the red head. His daughter in law. She was tense, watchful, as if she couldn't quite forgive him as easily as Pav did. He smiled at her too, that same awkward smile, a little tense as she didn't return it. She stood up straight, turned around, and walked off.

"Come on, father."

"Maybe I should let you two ta-"

"No, she wants to talk with you too." Pav waited till he was following before she headed out. He followed behind, hesitating only for a moment, before breathing in, straightening his back and going after her. Like a man going into battle. I knew that look on his face.

I stood in the kitchen with Nick for for three seconds before arms captured me, Elena's arms, Clayton not far behind her, his eyes tracing onto my neck and then to the fridge in front of him. Nick seemed to jump out of whatever thoughts he'd been lost in, heading for the fridge as Clayton started towards it.

Elena released me as fast as she'd gotten me, pointing at a seat, and waiting until I sat before I was offered a second breakfast from Nick. It looked like it'd been made last night, already on a plate, wrapped up in clingfoil. I unwrapped it.

"We expected to find you curled up in a cell and out of your mind. Not halfway home after taking out the ship's guards."

"I'd had enough of the boating lifestyle." I smiled weakly and she smiled back, shaking her head. She couldn't relax completely, her shoulders tense, eyes tracing over my face and neck. Paige had said she'd tell them and she probably had. "Paige said it?"

Elena nodded. She glanced back at Clayton, who caught her eyes, and seemed to get the hint. He left, carrying a plate with a cold roast chicken on it, dragging Nick behind him, the two of them heading outside into the sun.

"She told us you'd been raped." Elena's voice dropped. I flinched slightly at the word, like she'd struck me, and she hesitated. "Yes?"

"He hurt me. Yeah." I nodded as my eyes dropped to the plate of vegetables, feeling a resistance to the word again. All those warm fuzzy feelings were draining away, my arms shaking, guilt replacing it.

"Say the _word_, Anne." She pressed, staying where she was, her eyes fixed in mine. "Don't pretend it's something else."

"Fine. He raped me." I muttered. Stabbed at a carrot. _This_ was why I'd been dreading the talk. The second I'd said it, fury filled me, fury that was taken out on the carrot.

"I won't tell you that you'll get over it." She said, quieter, voice soft. I glanced up to see her eyes avoiding mine now. Elena's face had drained of blood at some point between now and when I'd looked down, probably when I'd said the word. Stupid word. Stupid meaning. But there was something else there too in her face. Grief, rage, regret, _hurt_. "Because you don't. You can't get over being raped. But you can get stronger. Just don't push Nick away. Rape isn't about you, or your body, or how attractive you are. It's about power, pure and simple, about them being turned on by hurting and overpowering someone."

"I keep thinking I could have-" I didn't know what to say. Fight back? Claw his eyes out with my arms tied up?

"If you could have done anything, he would have found a way to stop it, or use it to make him enjoy it more." Elena interrupted me. She was shaking too, somewhat, her eyes only meeting mine now and then. That was fine, I didn't like eye contact either. "The only thing you could do was survive it. And you did."

But I wondered how she knew. How she knew what it was like.

"So what do I do?"

"I can't tell you that. You'll know how to get through it."

I knew. Of course I knew. If I pushed Nick away, the bastard won. If I feared Nick, the bastard still had power over me. He was a coward. He hadn't even let me have my arms free, had two of his buddies there beside him, and had nearly killed me. "I guess I know." My eyes dropped, fingers stroking across my stomach where I felt a brush of moment on the other side. "He was a coward. He even tied up my arms so it wasn't a fair fight. I would have clawed his eyes out if I could have."

"It was about power. Plain and simple."

"Is it a wolf thing? To do that? Claim someone, or try to?"

Elena shook her head, suddenly, eyes snapping up. "That is a _human_ thing. Wolves don't force it on others just to get off on the power. Only humans enjoy that. He was a coward, like you said, not worth your time or energy."

"I enjoyed killing them. The guards. They could have been like the doctor but I didn't care, I wanted to kill them. Was that the sick side of human nature too?" I asked, trying to get away from the rape, but trying to talk. To open up. Elena was safe, she was strong, and she seemed to understand things I was confused about.

Now she came closer, a hand finding my leg, arm brushing against mine. "Did you make it a quick death or prolong it? What would have happened if you hadn't?"

"I killed them quickly. I didn't mess around or play with them. They would have killed me to save their own necks." Literally, I thought, seeing as their necks were the fastest way to get them down. I remembered those crossbows, raised, ready to do damage. It would haven't taken much to get me down for good. "Except for one man. I had to go for his arm first, he had a weapon in it, I had to get rid of it first."

"Seems like self-defence to me, like something any wolf mother would do, kill before she was wounded. Protect herself." Elena answered, softer.

"I wanted to eat them though."

She nodded. "I imagine you probably would have pissed on them too after."

I hadn't, I hadn't thought of that, but now that she mentioned it... "No, but I like the idea. I might have thought of that."

"Clayton's the better expert at this but I think it was more a warning, killing them quickly, eating them, and then pissing on them. To send a clear message. Come near me, hurt me or my pups, I kill and eat you." She hesitated, adding, "If you'd have played with them, toyed with them, prolonged their suffering, that might have been that sadistic human nature."

"I didn't. I went for their throats."

"I know. We saw." She squeezed my leg, smiling a little, and I remembered that she'd been on the boat just hours after I'd left it. Maybe just minutes. "None suffered for long. Jeremy was proud of you for doing that. It can be difficult for the first few years to resist. We've all killed. We've all regretted it. It's what helps some of us decide to control it."

Proud of me for killing quickly. I shuddered slightly and she hugged me again, before she went to eat, reminding me what I was supposed to be doing.

We ate, side by side, her presence calming like Jeremy, energy so much like his in so many ways. They both had that authority now, that strength, and while she had a different kind, I could see why he'd wanted to train her as his replacement.

Nick and Clayton returned some minutes later with the chicken bones, throwing them in the trash, sitting on the sides of us. Nick snuggled close to me, arm tracing across to Elena's shoulder, ignoring Clayton's attempts at prying it off again.

I felt a hand on my knee, one I'd never felt before there, and saw Clayton's hand there. Holding it. His eyes were fixed on Nick's eyes, challenging him, making it clear. He flirted with Elena, Clayton would pretend to do the same. I seriously doubted he'd mean it, he was so vastly different from Nick in that way it was almost amusing they were friends at all, but Nick glanced down and took the challenge. Tried to peel it off my knee, which made it hold on more firmly. Hands off Elena and he'd take his hands off me.

Elena just rolled her eyes and continued to eat. I took her cue and ate, ignoring them and their silly fight, knowing it was harmless. They'd clearly already had a fight over the chicken, I could smell dirt and grass in Nick's hair and on his arm, and there was a smudge of dirt down Clayton's face and along one arm. Smelt like Clayton won- he had more chicken smell on him than Nick did.

It relaxed me though, from the talk with Elena, allowing me to calm down again. I surprised Nick, as he was sliding his spare hand up my thigh above Clayton's, by kissing him on his neck and distracting him for a moment from the 'fight'. The coward I'd run from didn't know what kind of lover I could be, if I wasn't tied down and was willing, and he'd never know. Nick knew. Half the time he seemed to know better than I did and was constantly surprising me with it. The other half, I was surprising him.

Clayton chuckled at that, as Nick kissed my shoulder, eyes still fixed in his, but his face had softened. He took his hand off my knee and stole some of Elena's breakfast.

"Get your own. _Both of you_." She added, as Nick went for some of mine, eyes fixing them with a stare.

"Want some more, darling?" Clayton asked, eyes finally going to Elena's face, his own face softening at the sight of her. She nodded and he leaned forward to kiss her, quickly, before getting up and heading to the fridge. Nick wasn't far behind him. The two of them pretended to shove each other, bodies bumping as they tried to get to the fridge, taking out their stress and anxiety in their mock fights with each other.

"How many weeks are you now?" Elena asked, as she caught me stroking my bump again, eyes going down. I lifted my top for her, letting her touch it, seeing her smile as she felt the motion there.

"I don't know. I lost count."

"Twenty five or twenty six weeks." Nick called from where he was heaping things up on bread at the bench, glancing back. "They're making spines in there and getting ready to breathe."

Elena chuckled softly, running her hand across my stomach, shaking her head a little. "I never felt it from this side. Are they active?"

"Very active. I panic if they stop moving for more than five minutes." I stroked where I felt one wriggle, just slightly, as if it'd heard my voice. "The doctor said they can hear us now. I don't even know his real name yet."

"He's outside with Pav and Vi." Nick slid back down beside me with his breakfast, throwing a slice of cold chicken onto my plate as he did. "Seems serious. Lots of crying. They can hear me?"

"Nick, you know that." Clayton said, coming back over. "Made me read that part over and over while you were lying in your sick bed."

"I wasn't really aware of much of it. That was why I needed you to repeat it." Nick reached over as well. Elena withdrew hers to start to eat, and he stroked my stomach, tracing the lines that went across the bellybutton. "She's getting tiger stripes."

"Suits you after your good work." Clayton snorted, approval in his face as he caught my eyes, nodding slightly. "Killing an alpha, scaring a mutt and maiming him with your hand, escaping a boat. Don't like to think what you'll be like when I teach you to fight hand to hand."

Nick went to answer for me, hand over my stomach, but we both froze, feeling something. It was just a brief tightening over my bellybutton, the muscles tensing, then relaxing.

"What's wrong?"

"Felt something weird in my stomach. Like a cramp."

"I remember I felt them too. Jeremy said it was probably the ...hicks something cramp. Pretend labor to make your body ready for the birth." Elena added, eyes on my stomach, "If you feel three or more in the next hour, tell him and Pav straight away."

I nodded and stared sideways at Nick. He'd flinched at the word 'birth', I'd felt it, and Elena's eyes had gone past me to him too. No matter much he tried to distract himself from that day with nice clothing, or furniture, or enough toys to fill a shed, it was clear he was still struggling with that part. His hand had tensed on my stomach just a fraction before he leaned closer, as if subconsciously wanting to shield me from that.

"You all right?" Elena asked, and he shrugged. Dropped another piece of chicken onto my plate to join the first ignored piece. I was full and tried to offer them back, but he slid his plate back, shaking his head.

"Eat it. Strength."

I ate it. If he felt better about me having it, fine. He relaxed somewhat.

"Where are you putting the babies?" Clayon asked, eyes going upstairs. "Bit crowded here, isn't it?"

Running feet had him distracted suddenly, as a small body ploughed into him, climbing up into his lap. His face softened as Kate showed him a drawing, warm smile, clearly adoring her equally as much as Elena. Logan wasn't far behind with his own drawing, somehow managing to get into Clayon's lap beside his sister.

"Like it? It's a dinosaur."

"It's beautiful, darling. Both are great."

"Where were you thinking? When the house was quieter?"

I glanced at Nick.

"The old master bedroom." He answered, fingers finding mine and threading through them. "But we've got space to wait."

I yawned and slid up, Nick's hands quick to help me. "I have to sleep now. Sorry. I'm exhausted. It was a long night."

Elena nodded and Nick moved with me, following me up the stairs, helping me get into PJs again and get into bed. I really didn't need his help with getting in it- that part was easy, just a flop and a wriggle till I had a pillow between my legs and another under my head- but he'd gone funny again when Elena reminded him of the birth. Over attentive. Asking me if I wanted water, if I wanted music, if I wanted a backrub. I said yes to all three, he was running down the stairs, jumping back up, sliding the laptop over so I could find music as he rubbed my back. I figured if he kept behaving like that he might wear himself out and calm down so I made a few more requests, which had him going up and down the stairs a few times, for a flower in a vase, a book, no, a different book... cruel, maybe, but it seemed to calm him down. Pav was right about giving them something to do.

I yawned, relaxed, let him race around. He'd wear himself out eventually. Slowly he relaxed, his too fast hands finally slowing down, the massage starting to work as I found music I liked. Sleep came easily, his scent surrounding me in the bed, hands on my back, music calming us both.

I woke up with Nick's legs and arms wrapped around me, one of his muscled legs between mine instead of the pillow, my stomach resting on the pillow instead, like he'd changed my position while I was sleep. He was sleeping, breathing slowly, the dark lashes against his cheeks, the scars on his face only adding to how handsome he was. I noticed in his curls the first trace of grey there, a single hair that had escaped his notice and rested against his forehead. It made me smile, shifting my head closer, forehead against his.

He breathed in, long and deep, but didn't wake, like some part of him was checking. Checking me, that I was there, that I hadn't moved away. Some part of him always alert, never resting, and I had to admit I had something similar. I always seemed to wake up if he left the room or moved out of the bed.

A soft knock came at the door and Antonio came in, eyes seeing us like that, and I patted the bed quietly, letting him know he was welcome. Nick was dressed. I was in Pjs.

"He's still scared about the b – i – r – t- h, is he?" He said, resting down beside Nick, hand going out to stroke his son's hair. "Elena said something."

I nodded.

"I can spell, you know." Nick muttered, voice foggy with sleep, as he opened one eye. "Shouldn't you be too?"

"Not as much as you." Antonio answered, prodding him a little, before his eyes came up to me. He seemed almost regretful to spoil the moment and sat there a while, taking in the sight of his son like this, the stomach between us like it was being protected, not trying to hide the pride in his face as he looked down at it. "I think she'll manage."

"What's wrong?" Nick twisted up, looking at him, waiting.

"There were three mutts in town. Two fled when we saw them, one of them being the one you know, but the third was exhausted and Reece got him easily. He wants you to come downstairs and see if you know him. Or just come down and prove to Reece that you're back."

I nodded, sliding up slowly, stretching. I wanted to see Reece anyway, missing him, the silly Aussie who I'd easily gotten close to. Nick pulled at me, grumbling, before sliding up.

"I'll be down in a few minutes."

Antonio nodded, standing, before heading out the door and shutting it behind him.

Nick helped me re-dress, distracting me with kisses that were much less gentle or innocent, making the minutes tick by a bit more than I'd planned. He didn't push me, didn't rush, but he didn't hide his feelings on that level either. By the time I was dressed I was flustered and had to push him away to cool down a bit. It gave him a chance to dress too.

Reece was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, Nick jumping past him as he waited, arms open. Again I was hugged, again I didn't care, relief flooding over me again as another familiar smell washed over me.

"You're getting bigger." He stated, stepping back, looking me up and down. Maybe another time I might have hit him for that but why bother? It was the truth. "Do you want to take a look?"

I nodded. He moved ahead of me and we went outside.

For a moment I got distracted by how the yard looked. Green grass, all lush and all over the place, flowers, green bushes, insects flying about, birds busy everywhere, Nick was right. It was spring. No trace of winter was left, except for a slight coldness in the sun, but even that was changing. I hurried after Reece, Nick not far behind me, as we made our way to the shed.

The second he'd opened the door, I felt fear and rage flood over me, memories of pain, of those arms holding me down from one side while he smirked at me. That same smirk came back at my face, his bloody face staring at me square on, that same look he'd had when I'd been raped beside him. I was just a piece of meat to him.

Nick took one look at my white face, at the look on his, and decided what it meant, going in before Reece could grab him, and hit him over and over, hard, Nick's face a mask of fury that might have scared me if I didn't share the rage he felt. The man was already unconscious before Reece had grabbed him and yanked him back out.

"Did he do it? Was that the one?" He was breathing hard, fist covered in the man's blood, struggling against Reece's arms.

"Calm down, mate."

"He tied up my arms and held me down." Truth was better than nothing and Elena was right. They were all cowards. I didn't have my arms tied down right now, and before Reece could grab for me, I'd gone in there, more than willing to punch the living daylights out of him too.

Clayton grabbed me from behind, just as I went to try it, yanking me out of the shed too. "Woah, hold on there. That's my job."

"Bastard likes tied up women. Bet he can't do much against one that's free." I snapped. I felt so angry at him, so angry, I _wanted_ to kill him. I wanted to see his eyes when he knew how it felt to be tied up and vulnerable while someone was hurting him. Maybe that stick up his asshole would get the message across. "Coward."

"You're not a coward and he's tied up. Calm down. I need him alive." Clayton said, voice soft, that 'cowboy' voice somehow breaking through the rage. "Can't get answers and find the other two if he's dead."

Nick was released by Reece and came to stand between me and the man, hands reaching up to stroke my face, his own rage set aside. The second his eyes were in mine I relaxed, slumping, Clayton letting me go so that Nick could take over.

Jeremy was talking with the doctor inside the house, who's name turned out to be Amar. I paused in the doorway, Jeremy's eyes glancing back to me, and gestured slightly with his head. I could come in. I sat down beside Amar.

"We don't usually allow humans to know, as I was just saying. However..."

"You kill them?"

Jeremy nodded at my question.

"He saved me and the babies."

Jeremy nodded again, holding a hand up slightly, cutting me off before I said anything else. "However, your daughter is here and you have assisted us in bringing back a member of our pack. I have to warn you, what actions I'd have to take if you took this out of the pack, what you know. The Russian pack have the same warning."

"I understand. My offer remains. All I have left in this world is my daughter and I want to stay with her and act as a doctor for whatever pack she remains with."

"You're welcome to stay but not in the house. We're territorial by nature, we don't feel comfortable with any human, friendly or not, staying here too long. If a RV would be acceptable, I believe that would allow you to remain here, so long as you agreed to remain inside at nights and all werewolves to stay out unless I allow you out. This is for your safety. Do you agree, Anne? This is your house."

I nodded. Jeremy was right there. As much as I trusted him, I knew that it hadn't been earned yet by the others, and he was safer if he had a patch of his own 'territory' in an RV. It was mobile, meaning that it could move, and more importantly... there was no room here. None. I didn't know where I'd put him even if I did want him to stay here. "They're nice, they have everything a house has, just a bit smaller."

Amar nodded. "I grew up in India. I don't mind smaller."

"I can give you your money back ..."

"I'll do that, you're to stay on this property. You can pay _me_ back later." Jeremy interrupted. "Both of you. I'll send a couple of my pack to go pick it up for you. Do you have family you need to contact?"

Amar shook his head. His head dropped, slightly, voice lowering. "No. I only have my daughter now. Everyone else is gone."

I reached out for him, hesitating, some part of me resisting that touch. But I did anyway. He patted my hand.

"Thankyou, Anne. But I am not unlucky. My daughter is alive and married to a good strong partner. I got to have another chance with her. I thought I would never be allowed that." He smiled then, a sad smile. "Her mother would have been proud of her. I will help the birth, if you allow it, I am qualified."

Jeremy nodded, a small smile there. "I was going to ask you. I am experienced with some medical things, after these years, but assistance is welcome. Pav's experience has proven to be very useful."

I was called away then, and Jeremy nodded, allowing me to go find Nick.

He was waiting upstairs in our room, looking out the window again. I shut the door and went over to him, gazing out beside him. Again he seemed to be weighing something over in his mind, something he needed to think about first, and I waited patiently.

"Spring is pretty, isn't it?" I asked, after a while, watching it. It was. Flowers everywhere, the forest alive with color and leaves, birds going backwards and forwards, butterflies, the works. I loved winter, I'd loved the snow, but this was more familiar to me.

He nodded and shut the curtain, turned around, pushing me back towards the bed gently, ready to spring back if I hesitated or stiffened. I didn't. He tugged off my clothing, pausing only to jump across the bed to lock the door, before returning and continuing his task, tugging his own off with much less care than he had mine. Music on. Loud. He wanted me all to himself, no overhearing, no eavesdropping.

"Nick, I don't know if I can ..."

"I know." He smiled, hands coming out to stroke my bare arms, moving closer as he sat me down. "I just want to see you."

I sat down, letting him stroke my thighs, part them, fingers sliding against the sensitive skin there. I flinched, slightly, remembering my first day there, remembering someone else's finger, and he glanced up sharply.

"What else did he do to you?"

"Just touched me."

"How?" He wasn't asking to be naughty, or get turned on, he wanted to know exactly what'd been done. Exactly how much that alpha had trespassed. If someone hurt him I'd want to know the same thing.

I told him. He growled softly, kneeling closer, finger tracing down. Fingers pressing against me gently, rubbing against the sensitive skin there, the smell of him and the sight of his fingers between my legs relaxing me enough to start the dampness build, a warm throbbing answering his attention. He waited for that, breathing in and out slowly, and only when he was satisfied I was turned on enough did one of his fingers dip inside me, pushing me open gently, lips finding my stomach and kissing it as his finger probed me. It was nothing like the alpha, it was tight, but I was damp, turned on, his finger not hurting or upsetting me. And I knew that feeling, I knew him, I knew I could trust him.

"Then what?"

I told him that they'd tied my arms up, his hands coming up to run along them, that they'd cut the clothing off. Nick moved around me, checking, finding where the knife had dug in slightly more than other places, tracing them. Covering them with his scent and my arousal. Marking them as his again. Lips pressed against my neck, my shoulders, my chest as he checked, inspecting, soft growls and mutters as he found a new one I didn't know about. He traced the fading bruises around my neck.

"Did he do it then?"

I nodded and he shifted me back, slightly, so he could touch that area, so gentle, so careful. He wasn't the least bit turned on, I noticed, this wasn't about sex to him. He just wanted to see me and understand.

"What did it feel like to you?" I asked, as he shifted up, sitting between my legs on the floor, my legs in his lap.

"Not like it must have for you. But I knew what it was." He answered, eyes fixed in mine.

I made him stand up then. Made him show me where he'd been hurt, where the glass had hurt him, made him tell me what it had done. He'd been in bed for a week from the blood loss, more or less out of it, only to wake up expecting to be in the apartment and finding out I'd been gone for a week. He showed me the cuts, the scrapes, showed me the worst ones, where they'd cracked his head open. He had dreams of being on a boat, enough to make him sea sick, and so he'd started to look for me. Nick couldn't explain how he knew I was near New York still. Didn't know how to explain that he knew I was alive. He just knew it, and he kept trying to find me, ignoring Jeremy's orders as 'suggestions' which was extremely unusual and out of character for Nick. But no one listened to him, no one acted fast enough, until Jeremy finally had to have him sedated constantly.

We crawled onto the bed, lying side by side, when I found every last little mark, when he'd told me everything.

I told him how I'd escaped, what I'd done, how I'd come back. Nick had said he'd had an urge for chocolate and had somehow gotten out of bed, still drugged up to his eyeballs, feeling like he wanted to open the door. There I was, standing there, about to knock, looking like I was going to pass out. Apparently he'd been expecting to see me but thought he'd finally lost his mind.

We ignored knocks on the door, as the day went on, ignored the sound of lunch, just lying there, sometimes sleeping, sometimes awake, staying put. The world had to wait. He tickled me, I tickled him, teased him about the grey hair, watched him yank it out and claim it'd never been there, teased him about going bald if he kept doing that. We argued about silly thing, like whether there should be egg on a pizza like some Australians liked, flirted, and talked to the bump. Played music for it. For each other. It was silly, sentential, but it was what I needed and he seemed to need it to. Just to be near me. And he was actually something of a good singer. Well, I thought so, and he seemed to agree when it came to my voice. Apparently we both agreed that Dolphin's cry and Times like these seemed to suit us, right then, right there, laughing and teasing each other, behaving like shy teenagers getting used to each other all over again.

"Oh, you forgot this." He said, suddenly, remembering something. Nick sat up and went for the drawer beside him, tugging out a small bag, and lay back down. He slid the rings back on my finger, shaking his head. "Got to glue them to your finger."

I gazed down at the two rings back where they belonged, shutting my eyes as he kissed me. Stupid world. He was right. We had to use some super glue. Maybe a tattoo copy underneath that. Just in case.

"Nick?"

"Mmm?"

"I don't want to give birth either."

He laughed, suddenly, kissing me. "You're not scared of anything, Aussie, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm scared of the dark. You dying. Of him. Why not birth too?"

He moved closer, running his hands along my hips. "You get them out and I'll be scared for both of us."

"How about you get them out and I be scared?" I muttered.

Nick seemed to relax, now he knew I was scared too, and shook his head. "We can take turns."

"Okay." We lay there a while, quiet, before I asked,"How is Stonehaven going? I'm glad to have everyone here but..."

"But we can't keep twins in the closet. No. Too much clothing. Maybe in the drawers beside the bed..." He glanced back, as if seriously thinking about that. "They might fit."

"Nick..."

"It's going well. Frame is up, the modular house part is already looking like it's halfway, they were quick to get on with that one. Jeremy is tempted to move into it while they finish rebuilding Stonehaven. I visited a few times, took a look at the plans. It looks like Stonehaven grew an extra bit on the side. If Jeremy can't fit everyone into there with four extra bedrooms..."

"I don't mind if one or two or three people stay here." I said, quickly. "I like them here. But..."

"But we need a few more rooms?"

I nodded. Matt needed a room too.

A hard knock on the door made us both jump.

"Nick, open this door before I break it down. Let her eat her lunch." Vi stood there, no more soft request, clearly meaning business. "I don't care how naked you are."

I slid out of bed, Nick close behind, tugging on a dress quickly. He yanked on his boxers and pulled it open.

Vi came in and set the tray on the bed, sitting there, waiting. She was going to watch me eat. I sighed, sat down, and ate as she waited. Clayton called from downstairs, calling for Nick, and Nick dressed grudgingly, Vi refusing to budge, to go see what he wanted.

"He is not rushing you?" She checked, when he was gone, and relaxed when I shook my head.

"Not even trying. We just needed to be alone for a while. Be near each other." I explained, my voice soft, and she relaxed.

"I understand. It was like meeting again with Parvani. Like getting to know each other again."

"What do you think of her father?"

She stiffened, shoulders straightening. "I do not know. I know he helped you and kept you alive. I know he tried to help find you and that he is full of regret now but _I _was with her when he cut her off. He broke her heart and abandoned her in another country. She welcomes him back but I... I don't care about his feelings. I protect _her_. I say this to you because you also protected her. Do you think I should forgive him?"

"I don't know if I could that fast, if I was you. If I saw her like that." I admitted, and she nodded, flexing her fingers as she dug at something under one of the nails.

"I will let him try. I told him that if he hurts her again he never sees her again." I offered her something off the plate and she shook her head. "I ate. Thankyou."

I stood up and glanced for Nick, out the hallway, but he was gone. Damn. I needed to dress properly. She watched me.

"Something the matter?"

"I need to dress."

"I will help. Relax. We're both married woman." She stood up, smiling a little, and I let her help me, finding it less embarrassing than I'd expected. Maybe it was the asking for help that I'd resisted.

We headed downstairs and went outside. I stood out there, feeling the sun on my arms and neck, just a touch of warmth in it, the dry grass under my feet, some insect drifting past. Nick was out at a different shed, one I didn't remember being there, Clayton going inside.

"What is it?" I called, as I came closer.

"We're measuring the furniture." Nick held out one arm for me to go into, Vi not far behind, her arm sneaking around my waist as her eyes met his. He grinned at her and suddenly went for her too, as if he was going to kiss her, making her step back and let go of me. I looked past him inside the shed.

"All the baby stuff..." It was. One crib was set up, the other in a box, the cradles, the other furniture,sitting there and covered in little and big boxes of other things.

"Delivered three weeks ago. Told you I'd get a shed." He squeezed my shoulders. "We're trying to figure out how much room they'll need."

"I would have offered you Logan and Kate's ones but the fire burnt them too much." Clayton called, as he tried to measure without tripping over a box, scowling at it. "Who let Nick into the shop? Look at all this."

"I let myself in." Nick protested. "And that's important. It's a baby radio. Don't step on it!" He let go of me to rescue it, just as Clayton's foot threatened it. "It plays soothing but educational music to help them sleep."

"Nick, if your babies are asleep, you don't want music waking them up again. Trust me." Clayton rolled his eyes at Nick. His eyes went to me. "Want me to smash it for you?"

"If you're right, sure. Let Nick try it out. He can get them to sleep if you're right." I smiled somewhat.

Vi picked up a kangaroo and it vibrated at her, big feet wriggling slightly. "It moves."

"It won't last three minutes with a toddler." Clayton muttered, shaking his head again, but he threw up his hands as Nick glared at him and got back to the measuring.

I left them to it, heading back to the house. I still struggled with that sense that this was all a dream, too good to be true, and couldn't stand watching that anymore. The muscles across my stomach tightened again, slightly, contracting just a little. Another practice contraction? The last one had been hours ago. I relaxed.

The only things I wanted to focus on was that asshole in the shed, to be honest, find out what was going on. How could I pretend to be interested in baby junk right now? I didn't know how they were doing it.

Clayton caught my shoulder as I stopped and stepped towards it, like he'd moved the second I had, and shook his head when I looked back at him.

"Uh huh. Not now. He's not pretty."

"I can handle not pretty. What did he say? Where did you find him?"

Clayton glanced at the house, and then back to me, before he led me to a quieter part under a tree, crossing his arms. "The airport. Getting on a plane. They located you and decided to come back when you were close enough to take the babies from you. We got our hands on this one when he went to the bathroom in the airport. Alone." He shook his head, as if this was the height of stupidity in his mind, a mutt thinking he was safe enough in Clayton's territory to go somewhere alone.

"Cut them out, you mean. He said something about that when...well, a few days ago."

"Yes. The flight went to New York. Karl waited there and saw them get on one for Africa."

"_Africa_?" In other words, they were really retreating, not just pretending to. "He went to Africa?"

Clayton nodded. He glanced at the shed, and back to me. "You going to leave that shed alone now?"

"What are we going to do about it? When they come back?"

"_We_ are going to train." Clayton crossed his arms. "Seems you fight with or without permission so we'll train you to do it properly. No more spoons."

"It was useful." I shrugged. "What about when they get back? What do we do?"

He shook his head. Frowned harder. "You stay here. Jeremy calls shots about what the rest of us do."

"I want to-"

"I know you do. If you were Elena, I would ..." He cut off, softer, the word seeming to cut down the layers he was putting up as I overstepped my 'rank'. "You want the alpha?"

I nodded. "I don't know if I want to kill him. I just want to ..." I tried to figure it out, explain it to him, even though Clayton's face showed that he suddenly understood somewhat. "Everytime we meet, he's at full strength and I'm weakened somehow. Drugs, or ropes, or a belly full of babies... I want to face him at my _own_ full strength. For once."

Clayton sighed, rubbing his head. "I'll speak to Jer for you. If it was Elena, I would offer her the chance too, expect nothing less. He calls the shots when we go after him and you know that the mutt will probably come at you before you're full strength."

"Maybe he won't. He keeps running away when too many get close to him."

"If he is going to kill you, I _will_ step in before my brother looses his mate." Clayton didn't like it, I knew that, his pride demanding that he kill him. The pack's protector. "If he goes for Jeremy or Elena, I _will_ step in, even if you haven't had a go. No compromises on that. And if he comes for you before you've gotten those babies out of there, you stay put where Jeremy tells you to stay, and I'll put you there myself if I have to."

I nodded. "Fine."

"Nick won't like it." Clayton muttered, glancing back at the shed where Nick was showing Vi things, apparently describing what they did.

"I know." I looked at him and softened slightly myself, relaxing, much like Clayton had when he mentioned Elena's name. "I know he won't. If the alpha goes for Jeremy, he's all yours. But he wants to steal the babies first, I think, now that he thinks that they're Jeremy's babies. Take them, insult him, and then come after him after Jeremy has time to be insulted."

"Yes, the mutt mentioned that. How did he come to that idea?" Clayton looked back at me and I shrugged.

"I told him it was Jeremy. It protected them. When are you teaching me? Today?"

He laughed, shaking his head, as he looked at me. There was a warmth there that I knew I'd never see him share with a human, that I'd only seen him give to Nick and Antonio and the others, filling me with a kind of warmth, knowing that he did see me as a pack-sister, that I really was seen as part of the family here. If Clayton accepted me, I was more or less in.

"Two days. Get rest and do that stretching thing you do."

Nick called us back over then, impatient as he glanced up at the house, clearly wishing he could put things up there right now. Then Elena and Reece had to go, apparently to pick up the RV, and Clayton was quick to vanish into the back of the car going to pick it up.

Two weeks passed and I grew larger, ate, slept. I tried to do other things, go for walks, stretch, but somehow I couldn't do it. I tried to train two days after I'd come home but the third time Clayton shook me awake, we agreed to try again after another five days. My body was determined to catch up with rest and with doing whatever it was in there.

The second week started with the first lesson, once my body didn't try to fall asleep after ten minutes, and with Antonio still physically in such bad shape that he couldn't climb a staircase without pausing, Clayton used Nick or Reece to demonstrate. Antonio sat beside me and explained.

Nick was not as good a fighter as his father or Clayton. I might have minded seeing him get bruised and battered somewhat in real fighting any other time but I suspected that this was teaching him as much as it was teaching me. And he always had me there waiting with an icepack or a cloth to hold on his nose or a hug, which he took _full_ advantage of, usually making out that he was more injured than he actually was. Clayton was being serious, when he did this, sure, but he wasn't beating him to a bloody pulp. Just a slightly bruised and occasionally bloody version of Nick. No pulping involved.

Violetta showed up on the second day when Nick was about to collapse, Reece already surrendering to have a sit down some fifteen minutes earlier, and she took one look at Nick sitting there with a bloody nose, pretending to be unconscious on my slowly vanishing lap, rolled her eyes and offered to spar with Clayton. I had forgotten that she'd matched him on the container ship, blow for blow, beating him away from the container until he agreed to call Jeremy and get Pavo n the phone, but the second I saw the red head go for Clayton, his own golden curls flying, I believed it. The two were more or less matching, blow for blow, both giving equally as much as they got.

As they fought, Jeremy showed up, followed by Elena, and Pav, as well as Amar. The look on his face as he watched his daughter-in-law was priceless. I wasn't sure if he was terrified of her or proud of Pav for having a wife like that. Antonio tried to explain to me what they'd done, why she'd moved this way, or he'd done that, but he was lost, the two of them moving so fast that it took all our energy to keep our eyes on them.

We didn't know which called defeat, both suddenly stopped, Vi with a bloody lip and Clayton's nose dribbling blood. Both were grinning like they'd had the time of their lives, and both shrugged when Nick asked who won. Apparently, while Pav was a Bollywood actress, Vi was a trained kick boxer from very young, and it was what put her through her nursing training. She may have looked feminine, if she was just sitting around, but it was becoming more and more obvious which of the two wore the pants in that marriage.

From then on Vi helped him with the lessons. These happened once a day, every day, and I would be expected to get up and 'gently' copy what Clayton or Vi did with Nick or Reece, depending on who was more tender from Clayton or Vi's demonstrations, Antonio watching me or Nick or Reece, and changing our posture, or showing us how to use our arm, how to hold ourselves. They were real genuine lessons that would take three hours at least. It was a bizarre thing to try and learn while I was front heavy but at the same time, it was forcing me to practice balance too, so often did I nearly fall on my ass and have to be grabbed by the watchful older man.

The rest of that time I tried to relax and get to know this new season in this foreign land. Nick took me for walks, after a nap that followed the training, showing me things, telling me what birds were, what the spiders were, giving me all kinds of incredible names. I didn't find out Nick was full of shit till I told Matt about this, trying to cheer him up as he had to be restrained again as another fever crippled him, which sent Logan into peals of laughter. Dragon birds? Butter flowers? Fever butterflies? Logan got a book and showed me the real names. He couldn't read yet, naturally, but he knew the names and the pictures by memory, his incredible mind stunning me. The kid was a genius. Kate was too, when she wasn't distracted, but he had a focus that she seemed to lack.

The next walk, Logan came along with his book, and when I asked Nick about the names, every time he'd try and impress me with his 'vast knowledge about the bush', it'd take Logan thirty seconds to find it in his book, show me, and we'd read out the real name while Nick looked sheepish. Nick soon gave up trying to pretend he knew everything and started to ask Logan instead.

Spring was incredible out here. It was so fresh, it rained most of the time, but when the sun came out, I would wander around in the gardens, when I had no one to walk with in the bush, drawing whatever I found. Spiders in webs, birds that I didn't know yet, animals that were strange. Everything was awake and trying to breed, Nick was right.

I wasn't kidding myself. I knew things weren't peaceful off this property. I knew that, I felt it, I could barely spend five minutes without having to stop and check the area around me, inhale, listen, freeze, identifying each sound. But I couldn't spend every moment stressed out about it either. Jeremy was in constant contact with various members of the pack, directing them, the threat as much and more to the pack than it was to me personally. My task right now, my job, was to wait, learn, and keep calm. The training was more than enough excitement. Every time I tried to ask him, he'd tell me that nothing had been sighted yet, and that I could learn to fight. So I did.

Another excitement ripple through the pack a week later when Stonehaven's 'baby', the modular home, was finished. It'd only taken a few months, the first month in a factory, and more or less completed in three weeks, with an additional week for the usual checking that apparently needed to be done. I got informed, as we all did at breakfast on that Sunday, that Jeremy was calling a 'Meet' in a week and we had a week to clean the place and put furniture inside it.

I'd asked what one was and found out. It was the official Pack gathering, called for emergencies and large threats. There'd apparently already been four since I'd arrived in December. Three, I hadn't been allowed to, as I wasn't an 'official' pack member yet. The last I would have been but it had been as soon as I'd been taken and Nick and Antonio injured. This one would be slightly different- Paige would be there as she and Lucas had been in charge of searching and hiding the boat that'd been abandoned when I'd escaped, and Jamie would also join us some of the time. Non-werewolves had never been allowed at these meetings before and it showed how serious Jeremy was taking this. He wanted to get rid of them for good. But he hadn't wanted to call it until he could fit everyone inside the house again, not wanting anyone to stay in town.

So it was nose to the grindstone.

We all went to see it on the Sunday as it was the worker's day off. I had expected to see a small thing or a building that looked nothing like Stonehaven. I was wrong on both accounts.

It was more or less exactly in the same style Stonehaven had been. The stones along the lower floor, which were extending across to cover Stonehaven's frame as well, were exactly the same shade and color as they'd been before the fire. The second floor was just a touch darker, a slightly different stone, but the windows were the same style, the porch exactly the same, the roof covering both buildings made of the same shingles it'd once had. It was clearly a different house, with a different floor plan, but it matched so well.

Jeremy pointed out that along the base of both buildings they'd placed Stonehaven's old stones. There were enough to cover the ground floor walls of both buildings.

Jeremy led us through it, ignoring the dust and dirty ground, shadowed by the large group of curious werewolves as he pointed out what he'd had changed. The ground floor had a kitchen, he had wanted that, but the family room and 'breakfast' room, which had originally been separate and open to the kitchen and hallway, had been combined and shut up into two rooms that were closed off a bit. One would eventually studio for Jeremy and whoever else wished to use it but he'd use it as another 'bedroom' for now, the other the library. It would be used for the Meet as it was large enough for everyone to fit inside comfortably. There was still a dining room to eat in, a den for an additional study and for Jeremy to use until Stonehaven's study was rebuilt.

The second floor had the four bedrooms. Jeremy informed us he would be moving into the Master bedroom from now on, spending his nights there, spending his days at Forestwatch while construction was taking place. This naturally meant that Elena and Clayton would be moving out with him and the twins as well. I doubted they'd spend the day there either- Clayton would not want to be near the builders- but it did ease up Forestwatch's overcrowded rooms somewhat. Jeremy told Elena that he'd return to his old room in Stonehaven, and give Elena that room when he could, but they had the second largest bedroom on the other side of the building for the time being which they'd have to share with the twins while the Meet was on. The twins would get one of the two spare rooms, they could choose, so the remainder could eventually be the new guest room. Jeremy added, with a small smile, that if I had to kick anyone out at any time for getting on my nerves, he'd put them in there. His eyes went to Nick a fraction, making me laugh and Nick scowl, his arm wrapping around me as if he was making it clear he wasn't going anywhere.

We headed back downstairs and he showed us the garage. It was a gym now, or would be, because they had no need for the garage. Stonehaven's old garage had survived the fire and was still usable so he wanted to use that space for something else more practical. It suited everyone too.

Both basements were ready for use. Stonehaven's one had been the first thing they'd repaired and now the two basements were connected by a heavy metal door with more than enough room for storage in one and a cage in the other. No one would use them, not until the workers were gone and Stonehaven finished, but it was a relief to see something of Stonehaven return to life. Even if it _was_ the basement.

It was in the basement that he unveiled his best surprise yet by tugging open a very large 'fridge' box.

Cleaning equipment!

I was let off easily with the cleaning, now into the twenty eighth week of the pregnancy, while Jeremy got the rest of the pack into it that very second. Even Logan and Kate got a broom each, though they spent half of it racing around riding them, while I got to go outside into the sunlight and draw ideas for a garden for Jeremy. He insisted I do something. Not too many flowers, maybe, but something green, lush, growing.

That was how that week went. Sunday finished, the workers coming back on Monday, so the pack that were on the land took turns to spend all night in Stonehaven's new section in groups of two, scrubbing it, cleaning it, getting rid of dust and mop the floors, and when that was done, opening the boxes of furniture and setting it up. If Nick was there, I'd have someone sleep in the room with me, usually in the bed.

When I expressed that I did want to help, I got to sit with the kids, giant canvases that they could put up on their bedroom wall, I'd do an outline of something for them and then we'd play with it and finish it together. Matt, naturally, wanted his were-dinosaur. Kate wanted half a dozen things on hers, Logan wanting something else, and that took up more time than I'd expected. They just wanted to keep doing it, going back over and over, plastering more paint or whatever else objects they could find onto it. When that was done, and we still had two days to kill, rose bushes magically appeared in little bags of dirt with kid sized shovels. So I directed the kids to help me plant them, a dozen of the things, and dealt half the time with pricked fingers and sore thumbs. It took two days to plant twelve roses in the back of Forestwatch. _Two days. _

Twenty eight weeks pregnant with a pair of babies proved to make other things difficult too. Getting out of bed, off a couch, things were starting to get a bit tricky in that department. I got leg cramps at least once a day and if I rushed too much, it made breathing difficult, which meant that Antonio and myself seemed to share that problem and wander along behind the rest at the same slow pace while we were wolves. That always amused the rest of the pack, the dark wolf and the reddy gold wolf, struggling to keep up and snapping as someone tried to play, or chase, or provoke. Nick would stalk beside me on my other side, trembling with suppressed energy, trying to keep at my pace but would usually get provoked enough by Clayton to vanish into the undergrowth, a sudden dark brown blur, chasing the golden wolf as the golden wolf succeeded.

The babies started to move at more scheduled times, as if they too were starting to need naps during the day, but they tended to have different ideas about how much sleep they wanted at night than I did. And I was starting to feel as anxious about being a mother to them as Nick was about being a father. A mother? _Me_? What the hell! I struggled to spend an afternoon with the twins. Continuously checking on about the mutts seemed to help distract me but even I couldn't hide from that fact forever. I'd need to think of names, I'd need to get the nursery ready with some help somewhere, and I'd have to at some point finally find out just what the hell happened in labor anyway. Nick knew. I had no clue. Maybe that was why I wasn't afraid of that part as much as _he_ was- I was still blissfully clueless.

"Antonio?"

Antonio looked up from his book as I spoke. It was the night before the 'meet' and I still had no clue what the hell it was, only that it was big enough for every member of the pack to be flying in tomorrow morning.

"How long did it take for Nick's mother to get him out of her?"

He blinked at me and then laughed. "You're already feeling like that, huh? They could survive now, with the right medical care, but you don't want them out now."

"They could?" I glanced down at my stomach. I still had at least two months to go, I assumed, but... I had no objects to getting them out of there early if they were safe. "Can we get them out now? Steal a couple of those things in hospitals?" In other words, I wanted them safely out of the way, because the mutt would be getting restless now. I wanted to surprise him by being baby free and at full strength.

"Not now, sweetie, leave them in. They have a better chance if you let them stay as long as possible. The mutt chasing you around may show up soon, you're in the third trimester almost, but you want to make sure they're strong enough too."

I nodded and sighed, leaning back. "Of course I do. I want them to be safe. I just ...want to be ready. Myself. Not have them in harm's way when it comes."

Antonio many not have said the words, exactly, but from this week onwards Jeremy was putting the entire pack on high alert. Mobilising it. Putting the troops into position. However it was described for a pack.

"So tomorrow's meet is to get our battle plan ready?"

"More or less, yes."

I woke to find people already up, moving around, and was hurried into the bathroom for my turn, Nick going with me so that he could 'help'. I still hadn't been able to allow him to touch me, or have sex with me, but he didn't seem to care as long as I didn't hide from him either. He might have been impatient with a lot of things but with this, he wasn't, he went as fast as I had to.

I may not have allowed him to touch me but I did touch him and it'd been like I had to re-discover his body all over again. This meant that our 'shower' took a little longer than people liked. I refused to listen to their knocks, kissing Nick hard, my hand stroking him as I pleased him, wriggling away from his hand when he offered to do the same thing. Not yet. I couldn't do it yet. He'd tried a week ago and I'd had a full on panic attack.

We had to get out when Clayton threatened to unlock the door, got dressed, and went downstairs to wait.

The meet was crowded. I finally met Karl, sat down, and we talked. It was more or less discussions on what to do, what had been found, what information we knew, and who'd do what. We knew that they'd gone to Africa but that they'd come back. The pack counted on it, in fact, and I was the bait for them. Bait that was expressly forbidden from doing any kind of combat unless it was absolotely necessary. We weren't going to chase after them so long as they remained out of the US, which I hoped meant that they wouldn't come back till I'd given birth and was ready for them, but Elena would be monitoring for any signs, and she and Clayton would be working twice as hard on their 'mutt monitoring' to ensure that every problem _was_ just an American mutt. _Not_ apart of the rogue pack.

Paige showed us what she'd discovered on the boat, a laptop that he'd left behind and what she'd found when cracking through some incredible security. The alpha's identity was still unknown. Somehow she'd found nothing on him except that he'd been incredibly rich. The other two on the boat were the last two werewolves of his pack: Iven, a thirty year old man born in France, and Troy, a fifty year old Canadian. Both with criminal records that matched the last pack member we'd caught, sexual assault, other kinds of assaults, Troy with minor drug charges. That meant that with Troy 'disposed' of by us, which meant that there were only two left, the alpha and Iven. The pack had been originally five main werewolves, it had seemed, with 'lesser' werewolves that they'd bitten and spent a fortune of the alpha's money on to keep alive. Most of their attempts died, some survived, but they'd kept a list of it.

Troy was the scientist and the owner of the laptop. He'd not only documented the captures, as if it was an experiment, he collected and kept every study he'd done, every dissection, photos of it, video logs, like he was a scientist on the verge of a cancer cure instead of doing deep research into his own genetics. Iven was his son, the 'product' of one of his rapes, and stolen from his mother when he was three. He'd been the one to cut up and test every woman that died, even shooting several of his own pets mid-change to see what it looked like, a sick bastard that had no heart and who adored the alpha. He kept boasting about how proud the alpha was, how impressed, how dedicated he was to the alpha. Paige screwed up her face as she told us what his logs had documented.

They started to employ humans from prisons five years ago, remaining a roaming pack of five, deciding to grant them the 'gift'. Or kill them. Then the alpha had negotiated a treaty with the Australian pack for free roaming there. He would not challenge them in exchange for free passage. Daniella wasn't even apart of the deal, she'd just been handed over to him, like the Australian alpha had found a good way to move her out of the way. Once the alpha had her and bit her and had someone to use over and over, it changed the dynamics of the growing roaming pack once again, as the other five 'elders' wanted their own pets. Their own slaves. Daniella had to leave the room at that point, Reece not far behind her.

The list of names, of people who'd been bitten, went from a dozen 'servants' a year, to hundreds. Literally. At first they'd just bit them, thrown them in cages in crowds, and waited to see what'd happen. They'd all died, every last woman, and then someone had the smart idea of keeping them separate and use medical care to keep them alive. So they each agreed to bite ten women, hire doctors, and see how many survived. That was when my name appeared in the list. When Pav and Vi appeared. I was one of the alpha's ten women and he didn't just document my name, he had a file for each of us, who we were, what our family was like, where we'd lived, every single detail he could find. And why he'd picked us. Apparently he'd decided on me the second he'd seen me with Nick. Wanted to insult the pack somehow and was going to leave Elena till last. A 'surprise' for them.

I was the last of the alpha's women to survive the process. That explained why he kept coming back. He was convinced that the pregnancy I had was Jeremy's babies, assuming Jeremy was like him, Troy kept talking about how much he'd love to get his hands on one of them. Just one. He'd never gotten a baby to test before.

Nick had to leave then. We heard him in the kitchen, smashing things, Clayton hurrying after him to calm him down, and Jeremy made Paige wait. Antonio came to sit with me, hugging me close, my own reaction more shock than rage. Nick came back after half an hour, sliding back beside me, wrapping his arms around me and not resisting his father's own arm when that came to rest over him too.

Paige continued to read out the summary of what'd happened. Troy had lost all his women, Iven was the 'owner' of Pav and Vi, and the other two werewolves had been killed so their few surviving women were going to be 'donated' to Troy. Used property wasn't passed on. We'd captured one of them and Vi had snapped the neck of the other on the container ship. The coward, Robert, had been Troy's assistant and rewarded with his own women. Apparently Troy hadn't expected any of them to survive. He'd just wanted some new women to test on. He didn't express regret at the loss of his pack members either, just regret that their bodies had vanished and he couldn't test them. He'd looked sad in the video when he said that, she'd played it for us, like he was grieving the loss of their DNA and tissue to test.

"In other words," Clay muttered, "He'd been a fucking psychopath."

As Paige talked, we'd all sat quietly, Nick's hand clutching mine, as the full story of what the hell had been going on came into view. They'd apparently picked America because they thought this was the easiest and they were tired of roaming. It had Elena. The alpha had wanted Elena. So he decided he'd take her and the land too.

It was well after lunch when she'd done and I stood up to get food for everyone, finding myself pushed back down as Paige went, Elena and Clayton going to help. Everyone else sat in the half-finished library, stunned, tension and disbelief in the air.

Food somehow relaxed us all. Reece and Daniella didn't return but a quick look showed that they were outside the window of the library. Still listening, still there, but out of sight. Elena took food outside and sat with them, probably giving Daniella the same talk she'd given me, now that it was more or less exposed what Daniella had really gone through. She'd always pretended that nothing had happened.

The afternoon went on with Jeremy assigning people what they'd be doing and where. When he saw me try and hide a yawn, he pointed upstairs, telling me that I didn't need to do anything except go sleep in one of the bedrooms. Nick was to go with me, he was still shaking, and I was too tired and overwhelmed to resist. We headed upstairs, supporting each other, and collapsed into one of the beds in a room. I slept while Nick kept watch.


	17. Birth

I woke up an hour later to see Jeremy sitting beside me, his hand stroking my arm, watching me. I yawned, stretching, trying to stir myself up out of this sleep.

"You all right?"

"I just got tired suddenly. Wanted to sleep. I'm sorry I missed your orders." I still wanted to sleep.

"Is it like the tiredness you had after the funeral?" Jeremy asked, eyes in mine, and I blinked. Nodded. Now that he mentioned it, yes, it was exactly like that. My body wasn't tired but I was exhausted. I could have gone back to sleep. "It was a lot for you to hear. I'll support whatever you need to do but..."

"I don't want to go back to that." I tried to sit up, tried to snap out of it, trying to fight with whatever it was my body was trying to do. Sleep was protective, it took me away from the world, and I couldn't fall for that again.

Jeremy seemed relieved to hear that. "I'll find you tasks. You won't be left to do nothing while we work."

"What's the plan?"

"Karl is watching New York as usual. Noah and Morgan are going to work in the airport near here for a while, keep an eye on it. You know Elena and Clayton's job. Antonio's to stay and heal, you're to stay with him when Nick's not around, and Nick and Reece will alternate in town, watching over it. Vi is going to go with them, every now and then, and Pav will take care of you and Matt with her father's assistance. I'll stay here and direct it all." He reached down to brush hair off my face. "Now, come with me. I have a surprise for you. I'll tell you your jobs in the morning."

I blinked at Jeremy who smiled and helped me get up off the bed. He led me into his new bedroom, through the room, and into the bathroom. Nick was waiting there beside a steaming spa bath, filled with flowers, a proud grin on his face. I gawked at the bath. It was huge. More than enough room for Nick and myself. And beside it was dinner. I stared at Jeremy who looked happy with himself at this.

"How would you like a bath?"

"Are you sure? I might never get out of it again."

"Nick can carry you out."

"No, I mean, I'll never want to leave it. What about Daniella?" I remembered her, the distress she'd had, wondering if this was better for her.

"Reece is taking care of her. Don't spend all night here, I want to sleep." Jeremy backed out and shut the door behind us.

Nick helped me undress, fingers stroking across my skin, and helped me into the bathtub. Hot water, just slightly scented by the rose petals, closed in around my aching legs and back as I sank down, the jets of water pressing into the sore muscles. He slid in beside me after he stripped, moving over to tie my hair up, kissing my neck as he did.

"Where'd you get the petals?"

"It's a secret. Come here." Nick pulled me into his lap, half expecting me to resist, but I didn't. Instead, I eagerly straddled him, floating above him in the water as his hands gently worked the sore parts of my body. "Want one of these?"

I nodded and he laughed, kissing me, shuddering as I kissed him back. Hard. The problem with our house was that it only had showers.

"If I knew you'd like it this much, I'd have got it months ago." He grinned, reaching out for one of the plates and feeding me, his eyes widening as my mouth teased one of his fingers in return. There was that look again, that look of a man who'd waited for sex for a long time but didn't want to push it, who was watching his woman lick his finger as if it was...

That was exactly my point. And it woke me up, snapped me out of that 'must sleep' thing, finding a reason to snap out of it. Whatever shock I'd felt earlier couldn't consume me again. I couldn't fall apart again.

So I kissed him, again, hard. This was my life, right here, I wasn't there now. Nick's fingers grasped my back harder at that, his breathing faster, but he still hesitated. Still didn't want to push me if I wasn't ready. I reached between us, stroking him, lips dancing against his as I started to breathe faster too, my eyes shutting.

"I don't want to push you." Nick whispered, though his body was responding, hardening under my fingers, pulling his head back to search my face. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Shut up and let me enjoy being weightless." I sunk down on him, exhaling slowly, relief flooding me as our bodies joined again, and as always, not quite a perfect fit. Never a perfect fit. The sense of how I had to stretch only added to the exquisiteness of it, the extra blood in my body making that area even more sensitive than normal, and he groaned against my ear. I lifted myself up, so slowly, teasing him as I pretended to get off his lap again. "Unless you don't want me here..."

Nick thrust his hips up into me, suddenly, biting my neck as he grasped my hips and pulled me down into the right spot again. He was careful though, more careful than usual, and his fingers avoided my behind as if he didn't want to scare me. Didn't want to hurt me.

We moved slowly together in the water, our eyes shut, hips in a rhythem easily, as we took our time, fingers stroking each other, kisses slow and deep instead of passionate or full of lost, his fingers massaging my back even as we made love in the deep spa bath, even as he worked my body up. The release, when it came, was felt all over, and he had to hold me there as I shook, the pleasure as strong as the relief in me that I _could_ still feel pleasure like this, and when I was done, he moved a little faster, kisses a little harder, one hand sneaking between my legs to play with the sensitive nub there until he'd made sure I felt that pleasure a second time. Only then did he give into his own need for release, groaning quietly against my neck, arms tightening around me as his body claimed me.

We sat there, trembling, our hearts racing in our chests, my stomach pressed hard against his as the babies prodded and kicked against him.

"They get to feel your endorphins too." Nick informed me, softly, his head finally lifting up to meet my eyes. "Get to feel your pleasure."

"Good." I didn't ask how he'd known that or how much he'd been reading into pregnancy. I just kissed him and he grinned.

We repeated it for two hours, even as the bath cooled, knowing that if we left, it'd be well over half an hour before he got me into bed. Half an hour was far too long. It was only when Nick realised it was almost midnight that he groaned and untangled himself from me. "Come on. Bath is cold."

I got up with him, struggling somewhat as my weight came back out of the water, and he lifted me carefully over the edge. We dressed, hurried down, and found Antonio waiting patiently in the study with Jeremy, the two of them putting away books from a box.

"Ready?" He glanced back at us, and we nodded, his lips twitching somewhat.

Once we'd gotten home, we were quick to try it again with gravity involved, Nick slipping behind me on the bed so he could make love to me from behind, his arm across me, the slowness only adding to the intensity of it. I passed out as I climaxed, barely able to stay awake, vaguely aware of his soft groan behind me after a minute while his body joined mine.

I found out my tasks the next day, between fending off Nick who was more than willing to make up for the lack of contact with endless sex, involving ...well, not much. I assisted Elena again, mapping out things, spent time with Matt outside, and grew. Training continued though, thankfully, either Vi or Clayton around to give me half an hour between their tasks.

The problem was, that while the pack was ready and all set up, we needed the two remaining mutts of that pack to do their part. They ignored our plans. No sightings of them came, it was like before I'd been taken, they'd dropped off the map again. We had a vague idea of where they were, sure, but in Africa it was much harder to hear of 'strange' deaths. Reports were irregular, difficult to tell apart from the real animal attacks that sometimes happened, and usually there wouldn't be a report for weeks after the attack. Any mutts causing problems were isolated mutts, scared easily by Clayton and Elena, no connections. Tyler was caught once and he took one look at Elena and skipped states. Apparently he'd thought I wasn't far behind her.

The amount I needed to change slowed down too as my body moved into the final part of pregnancy, the days starting to stretch out between changes, Jeremy assuring me this was matching what Elena had found. And even when I was a wolf, I cared less about runs or about the land, more about finding cosy holes. Cosy holes suddenly had a huge attraction for me. I also seemed to suddenly like hunting and did my best to chase things around, succeeding sometimes, though the inability to breathe did make that difficult.

It was frustrating, having to wait, having to sit still. I had to sit with Pav and let her teach me about childbirth instead, which was much scarier than I'd expected, especially when she got that 3D youtube video on the full screen of the computer and made me watch. And that was of only one baby! Only one! I had to get both out.

Nick and myself moved back into the room over the garage, the larger room, which was cooler and quieter. I liked it up there, liked that I could sit in a window seat and watch the world outside, or that I had room in my bedroom now to do yoga or stretching without being stared at by a couple of curious kids. Usually a trio of curious kids now, as Matt was now allowed in and out as he liked, as long as he didn't leave the yard. They were great kids, I loved them, but the bigger I grew, the more they wanted to look, and touch, and listen, fascinated by it.

More weeks went by and summer came with a crash onto Forestwatch, bringing with it incredible heat and torment for my already over-warm body. Nick got the hint about the pool, after several of us spent a week nudging and suggesting he clean it up, and the second it was ready the pack seemed to fall into the water, obsess with it, a bunch of grown men and the occasional brave woman flopping around in the water. Elena and Clayton used it to help teach the twins to swim. Matt watched but refused to get in the water.

I couldn't get out of it. That wasn't just because I liked it, it was literally becoming difficult to get out of the pool once I'd spent any amount of time in there weightless. The water was incredible, so soothing, the sun beating down on me, hair going more golden and lighter as it was bleached, and I finally found a way to keep fit and get my pent up energy out. Swimming! Floating! Nick chased me around in the pool, fingers trying to touch or grope me, but with the pool generally in use from dawn to dusk by at least one person besides us, he struggled to find a time or a place.

He did get a few goes though, much to my amusement, and he was usually the one helping me get out of the pool again up the stairs at the end.

When I couldn't swim I paced up and down and when that left me struggling to breathe, I sat there with Pav and watched Bollywood films with a fan constantly blowing at me. Nick had to come sit with me, I made him, and I knew I was really reaching the point where I was totally defenceless. I struggled to _dress_ without Nick's assistance now. And yet I was ordered to keep eating. Keep gaining weight. Keep putting fat on those babies in there. Some part of me wished they'd slow down a bit with that, they seemed to put on a kilo a day, and my body felt like the hips were starting to stretch apart, pushed by the weight there. It was one hell of an unsettling feeling, that feeling. The fake contractions came a lot more too.

Matt seemed to be better for those few weeks, at first, and we'd even gotten his things moved up into one of the bedrooms. Sometimes he slept up there, sometimes he wanted to go back into the basement, like he couldn't quite leave that space yet, some part of him struggling with the changes. When he finally did move full time into his bedroom it was clear that no one would be getting in there for some time. Clayton was allowed, as was Logan and Kate, but no one else was allowed past the door. He'd change in the basement still, and Jeremy would shut the door just in case, as Matt was slightly unpredictable. No one knew if he'd be a calm wolf pup or an aggressive one, which side of his nature would be worse. Maybe he was picking up on the growing anxiety of the pack.

It didn't help that it'd been five weeks since the Meet and no one had any news to report whatsoever. Jeremy was getting impatient too. He was frequently checking in, sometimes twice a day with some of them, but nothing. No reports. It was like we knew we were heading for that crash, heading for that fight, and no one could say anything more than 'we're ready for it'. He let us know that Hope would be coming to live with us soon. I wasn't sure why but Elena seemed to, she went 'Ooh, of course', and I decided to not ask.

When I'd reached the thirty sixth week, halfway into summer, some odd thing came out, slightly bloody, and when I panicked and dragged Vi into the bathroom to tell me what it was, she and Pav seemed to panic a little. It was like they'd only just realised how far along I was. I was told I could go into labor any day now, which was less of a shock to me than it was to them apparently, and they managed to convince Jeremy to get one last ultrasound. So she took me taken into town for another ultrasound, Doctor Amar right beside me. Nick came as well, with Elena, the five of us refusing to do anything but crowd the poor ultrasound tech in the room. She just had to go with it.

There they were, the two babies, squished up against each other, both apparently pointing in the right direction. In other words, neither was trying to resist birth by putting their feet down first, neither was sideways, both head down and ready to go. It freaked me out a little bit more, to be honest, to see that. And again, neither were allowing us to see their genders, too cuddled up and squashed to do much more than wriggle or nuzzle against each other. It _was_ really running out of space inside.

In some ways, it was a relief. They were nearly safely out. I could nearly have them safely in a crib, somewhere, and go hunt down that bastard myself. It was a miracle they'd stayed put in there for so long. Now... we just needed a nursery to put them in.

Nick seemed to think of that too as he stared at the moving wriggling babies, his face paling, muttering something about how he better hurry up and get the furniture upstairs.

The moment we got home, that was exactly what he did, grabbing Clayton. The walls were painted, Jeremy joining in, an incredible speedy effort which had the walls covered in green paint, with yellow lines across the top and bottom, before the men, Vi and Elena started to carry objects upstairs. By now I just sat in the living room. Swimming was out of the question now, as was the staircase, so I watched them and ate the only thing I could stomach. Watermelon.

We listened to the men upstairs, their complaints, teases, the occasional crash of something or someone falling over. I wasn't sure why Nick had taken this long to realise it needed to be done, the room had been empty for a while, and groaned when I heard a knock on the door.

Elena came down the stairs, throwing something aside on the couch as she opened the door, and I sat up straighter. It was Paige and Hope. Paige, I had been in contact with for some weeks now, she'd been instructing me in what else lay in the supernatural world. Hope, I didn't know so much, still didn't know why it was so urgent for her to be here now. I didn't want to be an unsocial hostess but...well, I felt like my stomach was about to split open and spill babies all over the floor.

"Hope's staying here till the babies are born." Elena informed us, after she re-introduced Hope to me and introduced her to Daniella and Vi. "Jeremy decided we needed some extra help figuring out what they were up to."

Hope smiled, looking funny beside the bigger woman, such a small woman. I wondered what it was exactly she could do. Appearances in this world were usually deceptive. I looked like a whale but apparently I was a werewolf. She looked like a doll but was apparently a half-demon. She was holding her baby, who had gotten much older and much wriggler.

"You can use one of the cribs, if you like."

"I might be staying till after the babies are born." Hope said, her eyes fixed on me, an odd expression there for a moment. She blinked it off and shrugged, trying to move the baby to another side.

"I wanted to put them in the same crib anyway at first. Feel free to tell Nick to move it to the spare room." It felt strange to be talking about what I'd do with the babies, after they got out, so focused on what I'd be doing. I rested back, taking a moment to breathe, glad of the fan. It seemed like yesterday when I'd found this was going to happen, when it was snowing and I was more scared of a wedding dress than the alpha, and here I was. A beached whale in front of a fan. I didn't even have the energy to find out if Paige was staying too. It turned out she was, Elena told us, as they joined us.

"Is that Bollywood?" Hope stared at the screen, blinking. Come to to think of it, she did sort of look Indian, if slightly paler than Pav.

"We're playing spot Pav. She used to dance in the background of them." I informed her, eyes returning to the screen, taking a bite of the watermelon. "Vi's got the highest score and _she_ stopped playing two hours ago."

Clayton ducked his head downstairs, closely followed by Nick, Nick jumping down ahead of him. "What's for dinner?"

"Whatever you decide to cook." Elena replied for us, not even bothering to turn around as their faces fell, and added, "Nick, can you move one of the cribs into the spare room for Hope?"

"Okay. Clayton, go make dinner." Nick ordered, ducking out of the way of Clayton's kick, laughing and racing back up the staircase. The closer it got to the birth, the more hyperactive and impossible he was getting, his anxiety sending his moods into new highs and lows.

I stood up, slowly, and made my way upstairs to see what they'd done. The doors were open into the balcony so that it could air, though the paint was apparently a 'fumeless kind', the changing bench and expensive furniture set up in the large room. The other crib was in our room, they were sleeping with us a while, but the two cradles he'd insisted on buying were sitting on either side of a soft looking armchair, with a two person sofa at the far end of the room looking out into the backyard. The painting was up, the 'forest with animals' rug from Ikea on the ground, and the two leaf bed canopys I'd wanted to buy were up high, one above the cradles and chair, the other above the sofa, making it look like we were in some kind of giant forest. I liked it, anyway. And the mobile dangled above the changing table, little dogs and kangaroos swinging around. The toy boxes were against the walls in different areas, both open and empty, and the wardrobe was empty too.

"Want help with this stuff?" Antonio asked behind me, carrying a heap of boxes in his arms.

I nodded and together we put clothing into the drawers, tiny tiny clothing, reading the labels of the toys Nick had bought to figure out which ones were the safe ones for newborns. A lot weren't and Antonio promised to put them back down in the shed. Whatever was left was put in the toyboxes and he helped me in my room with the crib, putting the mattress down and making the bed. I could barely bend forward as it was. Once that was done, we headed back into the baby's nursery, putting stuffed toys on various furniture, like the wardrobe's shelves, the shelves with desk. Decorating more than practical stuff. Antonio held up the 'baby sleep system', the radio Nick had bought, and I shrugged.

"He said it'd help them sleep. Still no word?"

"Hope feels like it's close."

Once I'd put up some photos on the wall I collapsed into the little armchair and he sunk down into the sofa. "What does she... um. Do?"

"Hope? Senses chaos. Extremely good at it too. The second she'd gotten into the house she could tell he was nearby. And... and, Iven was spotted. Just an hour ago." Antonio no longer tried to hide these things from me, or make me feel better by pretending nothing was wrong, he'd learnt that the less I knew, the more I stressed. If I knew where I stood then I knew how to stand.

I sat up straighter then. "Where?"

"Airport. Jeremy's calling the pack back here for a quick meet tonight. He's already asked me to tell you that no, you're going to sit that one out, go to bed."

He expected me to argue but instead I flopped back. The instinct to fight was gone now. I just couldn't do anything more than waddle around and sleep. "Fine. But thanks for telling me. I don't think I could have made it anyway."

Antonio's dark eyes studied me then, carefully, as he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Achy." I muttered, reaching down to stroke my stomach, prodding the bellybutton which was now prodding outwards. "Huge."

"Is your back hurting?"

I nodded and he stood up, moving over so that he could rub it, Antonio as much an attentive father-in-law as Nick was father. "Nearly there. I'll keep Nick as calm as I can when it happens."

I crawled into bed early, still aching, and Nick stayed his attentive self, rubbing my back and trying to reassure me that everything was fine. Normal. He left the concern about the alpha and Iven to Jeremy and Clayton, left that part of the problem out of it, more than willing to stick to his task here with me. I wished it was that easy for me. I knew he'd hunt them down beside me, when the time came, I knew he'd be right there, but he couldn't think that far ahead right now. He just wanted me to survive.

I was woken up by the feeling of Nick getting out of bed. He jumped up, tugged the curtains back, and then bounced on the bed like a five year old on Christmas day. "Anne, wake up." Nick whispered. Prodded me, and I slid up, sleepy and grumpy, my back aching all over. I bit him, he yelped, before he smiled and kissed me. "Look outside."

I slid out of bed slowly, Nick sliding faster so he could pull me to my feet, and went to the window.

"What is that?" I gawked at the world outside. Little lights were everywhere, so many of them, in the trees, dancing around the yard, and I wondered if I was seeing things.

"Fireflies."

All sleep vanished at that. I tugged on the maternity nightie over the boxers, a lacy blue silk thing that was comfortable and sexy, another of Nick's little gifts, before hurrying outside, Nick not far ahead of me as he made sure he was leading the way. The stairs made me cringe, that was a bad speed for stairs, and Nick stopped. When I didn't move, he retraced his steps up to me and gently picked me up, kissing me, before he helped me outside.

We weren't alone outside. Most of the pack were moving around outside in the warm summer night, the meet just finished apparently, mobilised. Getting ready to hunt down Ivan. Jeremy wasn't taking chances this time, he wanted to get one less mutt out of the way, so that they could focus on capturing and killing the alpha. I watched them, from time to time, but the truth was that I found the fireflies much more interesting. I wandered around into the backyard, making half-hearted attempts at catching them, Nick doing better and showing me.

"We don't have stuff like this in Australia." I smiled at him, tugging him over and kissing him. He kissed back, harder, pushing me into the wall carefully, a hand slipping between my legs as he stroked me, teasing my body. We'd given up on sex some weeks back, it was just too difficult for me, but hands were a whole other thing. While the pack did whatever it was doing in the front yard, we groped each other, the gentle glow of fireflies dancing around us in the dark, Nick's fingers making me gasp and moan against his bare shoulder. I did the same to him with mine,sliding my hand into his boxers, his hips grinding into my hand as mine lowered into his fingers. Apparently some women lost their sex drive at this point. Me? I just seemed to be worse than usual. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or how uncomfortable it was but... the more we could do this, the better.

"You all right?" He asked, as my legs noticeably shook, and I nodded, kissing him hard, refusing to let him stop. Not fair. Nick batted a firefly away as it hovered around us, sinking a second finger to me as I moaned against his lips, eyes shut.

"Keep doing that." I begged, softly, eyes half shut as I watched his face, watched the fireflies dancing around us in the night, and he was quick to follow my request, his own arousal pushing hard into my hand as I teased it. "Will they hear us?"

Nick shook his head, grinning, turning me around. He lowered me to the ground, slowly, bending me forward, a hand coming to cover my mouth as he tugged my boxers down enough for him to get access. Doggy style? The last time I'd been here, I was being raped, but I felt Nick's mouth kissing the back of my neck as he moved closer, my arms free and on the grass, and any fear I might have felt faded as I felt him push himself into me. No pain, just the slightest bit uncomfortable, my body turned on enough to make that not matter in the slightest. He groaned against my back as we knelt there, our bodies caught up in each other, Nick careful to not get too carried away while we again made love. On the grass. Surrounded by fireflies while people talked in the front yard or moved in and out of the front door. His hand over my mouth, keeping me quiet, while his other snuck between my legs under my stomach and made sure I enjoyed this as much as he was.

It only took us a few minutes before we were collapsing, our bodies too worked up to last long, and he helped me tug my boxers back up and get off the ground. I leaned against him, watching the fireflies dance around us, feeling his own relief at being able to still somehow be with me. It might not happen again for a while. It was hard to believe that I might have once been afraid to do this with him and here I was, risking being caught in our backyard, while people came in and out of the house on the other end.

My back still ached though. I directed his hand to it, and he understood, gently rubbing my back.

A contraction suddenly bent me over, a real one, and I bent there whimpering as it took away my ability to speak or breathe. Nick's hands held me up, his heart rate suddenly rising as fast as mine, his hands shaking. When it was over, when I could stand again, he took one look at my face and lifted me up, carrying me inside.

Jeremy opened his mouth to ask us what we'd been doing, or something like that, when Nick told him what'd happened.

"Upstairs, Nick, and wake Pav."

Nick hurried upstairs and lay me on the bed, before vanishing, the two of them returning quickly. Downstairs the cars were leaving, I could hear them driving off, nearly all the pack going. Even Vi was going. The hunt for them had started and for me...

I gasped as another contraction washed over me, curling up into a ball, feeling my stomach tighten around the bump. It was a serious fucking pain. Not unbearable, exactly, but knowing it'd keep happen made it worse.

"How long has she been in labor?"

"I don't know. She had one of those things downstairs."

Antonio appeared, moving to stand near Nick, as Nick's panic started to build higher. Everytime I had a contraction, he would pace, anxicous, unable to sit still. Everytime Pav would check me, how far I was, he'd try and get there too, between my legs.

"She's got a long way to go, Nick, back off." Pav muttered, pushing him aside, Antonio helping by pulling him up by the scruff of his neck. "Only two centimetres dilated."

"_Only_?" Nick snapped. "That's _this_ wide!" He showed her, fingers probably a fraction wider than the real thing, as if he couldn't believe anything down there would go that wide. "Is it because we had sex?"

"Probably started it, yes." Pav smiled then, sliding up to sit beside me, stroking my hair as he started to pace.

"She said her back was hurting earlier today." Antonio tried to follow Nick but gave up as Nick just kept pacing up and down, his face white, breathing fast. "Nick, calm down."

I tried to keep calm, but his panic was flooding into me, my own anxiety rising as his did.

"It might have started earlier then." Pav agreed.

"Is it too early?" I asked, trying to lift myself up, and she shook her head. Yes, I wanted them out fast, yes, I wanted them out of the way and safe, but suddenly it felt too soon. Too early. I wasn't ready yet.

"It should be all right. I'll get father." Pav stood up slowly, only to be beaten by Nick to the door.

"No, I will." Nick sprang from the room, suddenly sprinting, and returned literally herding and chasing the poor half-asleep man up the steps.

Amar said the same thing as Pav- I was only at the start of it, and there was a while to go.

Six long hours passed. Nick's anxiety grew, as my contractions continued to be agony and frequent, his eyes locked into my face every time I cried out in pain, his fists clenching and unclenching. I could _smell_ his fear. I could feel it. I could hear his heart. It was soaking into me, I was sharing my mate's panic, and I couldn't relax no matter how hard I tried. When I was checked, I'd only gone another centimetre.

"What do you mean, there's seven more to go? That's this wide." He was again showing poor Pav, his shoulders shaking, again measuring it wrong. Antonio wrapped his arms around Nick's shoulders, trying to get him to calm down, only to be shaken off again.

I stood up, ignoring Nick's order to get back into bed, and tried to walk. To pace. I wanted to pace around. When Nick lifted me up and put me back into bed, Antonio yanked him out of the room for a walk, and Pav moved closer, voice low.

"I could lock him in the basement until you're closer. Jeremy's given permission."

"I'll keep it in mind." I muttered. Stood up again, her arm under me, and managed to pace two lengths of the room before Nick was back. He frowned at me, a cup of water in one hand, towels in the other.

"Why are you up again?"

"I want to walk." I cried out, bending over, Pav keeping me upright as a contraction came back to kick me and remind me what the hell was going on in there. When I could talk, could listen, I could hear Antonio's low voice outside. On a cell? The house was empty.

Oh right, Hope and Paige were still here. I'd been so distracted by this...

"What's going on?" I asked as he came in, standing up, sweat starting to beat off me.

"There's some fighting going on, a chase, cat and mouse. Ivan has some humans working for him that are making it more difficult. Paige is going to protect the house." He explained, coming over to wipe my forehead with a wet cloth he must have gone to get, Antonio seeming to be much calmer than Nick. I was relieved that one of them wasn't about to climb up the walls. His hand was steady, firm, and I sighed. Relaxed.

Then Nick appeared behind me, yanking me up off my feet, and dropped me back on the bed. Panic returned. Fear. Pain again. A cup of water shoved at my mouth and his frown deepening when I refused to drink. He was starting to get on my nerves. I loved him but if he didn't calm down in an hour...

An hour later, I couldn't take it any more. I had barely gotten any wider down there, apparently, and Nick was already trying to get me to push. He knew how this worked, he knew how wide I had to get first, but he just couldn't seem to control the fear raging in him, the fear that was made worse every time I showed the slightest bit of pain. Which was much more frequent and overwhelming now.

"Cage him!" I pleaded, and Antonio nodded, lifting Nick up as if he was a child. "Bring him back when it's time."

Nick seemed hurt, betrayed, struggling against his father and Pav as they carted him downstairs. It wasn't what I wanted but the second I couldn't smell my mate's panic was the second I started to calm down myself.

It didn't speed it up though. Another hour dragged by, as Pav returned and sat with me, Antonio remaining with Nick in the basement, until I was grabbing for her dress, pleading for her to check again.

I cried out as another contraction made me double over in pain, breathing hard, grabbing for Pav's dress as I yanked her over. The second I could I asked her, "How much longer?" she was already checking, careful, standing at the end of the bed. I didn't know where her father had gone. Maybe he was resting so he could do the last part properly? I hoped so.

"You're four centimetres dilated. It's going to be some time yet, could be hours or more. I co-" She was cut off as something snapped. Hands on her head. Her spine. Fingers sliding out.

Pav fell to the ground, the alpha behind her, his hands letting go of her head.

This wasn't like Nick and Antonio. I could hear her heart slowing. Her blood slowing. Her breathing cut off.

See her head facing the wrong direction.

I screamed, screamed so loud it hurt, and was cut off as a fist hit my face. Not Pav, not her, not after all she'd gotten through, survived, got back. I staggered to my feet, blood pounding in my head, screaming at him.

"Pet, she was useless. Blind. Touching my property. Now, shut up." The alpha snapped, taking out his phone, and speaking into it as I stood there with my entire body shaking with rage. "I'll be fifteen minutes. Get the car to the house and keep distracting them for an hour or two."

He must have thought I was helpless, being in labor, must have thought I couldn't fight. I rushed at him, pain be damned, fists flying, and he actually stepped back as he tried to defend and fight back. Fists connected with his face, his chest, knee in his groin, the rage flooding me. A contraction stopped it, gave him the advantage, and his fist finally made contact with me, another joining it, knocking me backwards against the bed as I had to give into the pain in my stomach,breathing hard, unable to speak or scream.

He laughed as I bent over, face white with pain, reaching out to grab my hair and yank my head up in his direction. "I'll tell you what, pet. I don't need to cart two babies out of here. One's bad enough. You keep one, I take one, and I leave you alone. Deal?"

"Fuck you." Grief and rage clouded my mind and I lunged for him again, now the contraction was over, punching. He blocked, I copied what I'd been taught, the other fist coming sailing up under his blocking arm to meet a rib. I felt bone crack under it, felt him jerk back in pain, and something jab into my side.

The room suddenly swayed under my feet. Weakness flooded over me, some kind of drug taking over, and he pushed me onto the bed hard, swearing as he reached up to touch his ribcage.

"Coward. Real werewolves don't use weapons or drugs." I spat, fighting it, fighting the drug.

"Real werewolves, as you put it, will die out soon, bitch." He wasn't looking at me now, focused on finding something on his touch phone, as if he was reading something. "It's just to keep you still, relax, just let it. The survivors are us. Who adapt. We adopt new ways. Do you really think other packs around the world are going to keep using fists when the world's creating new and better ways of fighting? This pack will die out. You chose the wrong pack, pet. Should have stuck with us." He seemed to find what he was looking for. "Now stay put. I don't have time to wait hours."

I blinked, the drug trying to drag me under, trying to stay concious. Trying to get up. My muscles were failing, refusing, even as a contraction came and made them tense up. He was kneeling on the bed, yanking my nightie up, holding something as he gazed into his phone. Reading something off it.

My drugged mind only understood what it was when it cut into me, cutting deep, screaming. He stopped, stuffed something into my mouth, and taped it there before he continued. The pain and the drugs were enough to throw me out of the room, out of my head, into darkness, but it was the cry of a baby that had me crashing back again into my body, the agony and smell of my blood now joined by something else.

The smell of my baby.

"A daughter. What a gift for me. Thankyou, pet."

He had cut her away from me, was wrapping her up carefully, her arms and legs moving hard as she screamed and cried. My stomach was gaping open wide, and he reached back inside, the agony again searing so hard into my head that I was gone again.

His voice cut through it, the haze of pain and darkess, just inches from me.

"Good girl. Giving me the alpha's daughter." A hand patted my head, I could barely feel it, but I smelt something beside me, crying, covered in my blood. "I said I'd leave you with this one. I'll come back in a few months. Put a new baby in you. Think of it as an exchange."

I heard him leave, heard the sound of the baby crying as he vanished, and understood. This was what Nick had been afraid of. He may not have known it, he may not have understood it, but on some level his instincts had warned him. Warned him to beware, to keep watch, to be _here_.

I wished I'd listened to him. I wished I could open my eyes to see the other baby. I...

The darkness faded in, peace coming over me, the last thing I was aware of being the wriggling body beside my head.


	18. Life

Another dream came, as real as the first, and I sank into it away from the horror of the first. I heard angry voices. A contraction. Panic. _Smelt_ panic. So much pain, pain that must have come into my dream from my waking state. I could only lie there as my body beared down. Or did I wake? I didn't know what was real and what was fake anymore.

Another contraction, pain, and voices again. There was nothing in there to push out. I didn't know what it was doing. My babies. My eyes flew open and then cringed in the bright light of the room, arm trying to rise up to shield them, trying to get legs off bed. Babies. Had to get them safe. Find them. The world felt like it was half dream, half reality, I could hear one of them crying, I could feel the agony in my stomach, but at the same time I could hear those voices, even though the room was empty. Even though I was alone. I couldn't move, I couldn't stand, my stomach was one giant gaping hole. I lay there, shaking, shock flooding through me.

"I don't know what he did." That was a voice I knew somewhat. Paige? Upset, she sounded like she was very upset, her voice shaking.

Clayton swearing. Nick nearby.

Had they found me? Had they found it?

I opened my eyes and saw only an empty room. Felt the arm of my wriggling baby beside my head, my paralized head, and saw no one. Smelt Clayton. Smelt Elena too. But the house was still, early morning sunlight filtering in through one of the windows, Pav's body where it'd been abandoned.

"You're the leader of your fucking coven. Get that thing off her."

Voices. Voices that might have been in the door but the door was closed. And I could sense no one there. It confused me. I blinked, tried to stand again, but I couldn't. I was weighed down by the drugs and my own pain.

Another contraction, which made me groan and cry, tears leaking down my face as my wounded body tried to push with muscles that'd been torn. It was empty. Why did it keep trying?

"Nick, _sit_, you know she can't release it yet. Calm down or we'll have to pu-" The voice faded away, drifting, and Elena's smell vanished with it. I smelt Nick, just briefly, smelt him right beside me, but then it was gone. Like they were ghosts. Or was I a ghost? Was I dead, lying here, caught in this death and hearing them in the room? I wondered how ghosts experienced death. I'd have to ask the necromancer.

If I was dead, that would explain why I saw Pav for a moment, just a flash of movement from the doorway, but that made no sense either. Her body was on the ground.

The voices faded away and was replaced with just the sound of birds outside, my own harsh heavy breathing, dripping on the floor and I wondered if I'd imagined them. Made them up to make this reality less difficult to deal with. My baby was quiet now. I didn't feel it moving and I couldn't turn to see.

The pain fogged my head so badly and I was so confused. So so so confused.

Another contraction, adding to the agony, adding to the helplessness, and I could only dig my hands into my palms and whimper. Just make sounds. There was the sense of something brushing against my face, something forcing my palms to uncurl, but I couldn't see or feel who it was.

Flickers of movement, just sometimes, as the hour continued, as the sunlight got higher. I didn't think I could speak any more. When it was over and my eyes were open, the room was clearer, less wavy, making it obvious that I'd probably been dreaming their voices, wanting them to be here so badly that I'd started to hallucinate.

My stomach was a mess. I raised my head to stare at it. He'd left the scalpel there and left it open too. Bleeding was surprisingly little, less than I'd expected, but it was still enough to be a problem if I just left it there like that with a giant hole going right into my womb. My arms wouldn't co-operate though, wouldn't move, and my legs just lay limp. I hated being helpless, I loathed it, and the wolf in me urged me to change. Change! Don't stay helpless! I forced it away. Changing would do god knows what with a hole like that. I had to stay perfectly still and on my back. The bastard wasn't going to kill me that easily. Changing wouldn't have worked anyway, my body was getting faster with the contractions, more desperate, more determined to finish a birth that'd been interrupted.

I must have passed out again because another contraction woke me and the time passed so agonisingly slow, head foggy with pain, the only escape sleep and even then it chased me into the darkness where I heard voices, where I smelt people that weren't there, where I felt hands on me.

How long had I been lying here? A day? Two days? I felt exhausted and weak and the contractions were fast now, not allowing rest, not helping me deal with the problem at hand.

I didn't understand it. It was like it had no clue that they'd been taken out, like it was still trying to get something out when nothing was left in there. I didn't hear or smell the baby any more and fear raged in me, only adding to the weight of the pain, the smell of it gone. Maybe he had taken it after all. Maybe he'd lied, one last torment to me, one last tease and punishment before he had vanished with my life.

Something gushed then, with a contraction, a distant scent of something strange as fluid gushed out from between my legs. I couldn't move, could only lie there as the pain washed over me, but when it was over I blinked, seeing only the devastation of my stomach there, wondering if I'd wet myself. Maybe.

I saw people again, just briefly, I saw bodies moving around the room. Smelt them. Felt Nick. They were gone as fast as I'd seen them but my legs were moving up. How strange.

"She's got to push now."

Push? Was that the doctor? The nice doctor? I remembered him, remembered how he'd saved me, even seeing him briefly down at the end of the bed as he'd been once.

"Release it. I'll go tell Clayton."

Suddenly, the world shifted. One moment the room was empty, Pav was dead on the floor, then a blink and she was alive, bent over with a towel, wiping my legs clean. Nick was beside me. Elena was on the other side, my head on her lap, and Paige was standing against the wall, face white.

I was dreaming again. Or I had died. I shut my eyes and waited for the dream to fade away like before. It was either that or I'd died. That was the only explanation for it.

"Anne, are you awake?" Elena was asking, stroking my head, Nick leaning over to check. "Is she?"

I felt lips brush against mine, so careful, so tender, so affectionate, and opened my eyes again to enjoy the hallucination. Nick was beautiful in my dreams. Too frowny though.

"She's looking at me." He said, eyes in mine, and he leaned back. I gazed past him to where Pav was cleaning. "Now to Pav."

"Anne, it's all right. You're awake now." Elena tried, and I shuddered, trying to sit up, my body refusing to do what I asked.

"This is a dream." I muttered. My voice was so croaky. Had I been screaming? That made no sense. Maybe I was thirsty. "I wish it had ice."

"It was a glamour spell. It wasn't real, whatever you saw." Paige tried to speak. Her voice was quiet, she was white, and she was struggling to speak.

I just wanted ice. Where was my ice? If this was a dream then I should be able to get that. I had everything else I wanted, except for a baby beside my head. I tried to reach for it and found Nick's leg there. A thin piece of ice was pressed against my lips, and I opened my mouth for it, tasting Nick's finger as he pressed it in. _Ice_. God, it felt real, it felt so real. I sucked on it, nearly choking as my body suddenly had another contraction, gasping as the pain of it forced me to wake up somewhat more.

"What did you see?" He asked, voice low, as if he was struggling to talk.

The dream was becoming so real now that I reached down to check my stomach, to find it, finding that my arms worked in this dream. Or was it the real thing? I had no clue anymore. There was a big belly button but no holes. No cuts. No giant bloody tears either. There was only a solid stomach, restricting my panicked breathing, still with the 'tiger' stretch mark across it.

Pav leaned up to cover my stomach, before she slid up to sit beside me as well.

"He _killed_ you." I croaked, throat so raw, wondering if I'd been screaming. Maybe I had been.

"Was that why you screamed?" She asked, softly, voice softening.

"I … where's the babies? Where did you put it? He put it beside my head. Where is it?"

"It was a spell, Anne. A stupid fucking spell." Nick snapped. His eyes were on Paige with as much fury as he'd shown towards the man he'd thought raped me. "You haven't given birth yet."

"I don't understand. I saw him. I saw him cut them out of me. I saw him take our daughter awa-"

"It was his fantasy. His ideal way it'd go." Paige said. Her jaw was trembling. "I saw him go into your room while Pav came to help me with Hope. I saw him and... I thought if I locked him in a glamour spell he'd be quiet for hours until we got Elena and Clayton back here. Thought he'd stand there long enough for Pav to get Nick out to restrain him."

I doubled over in pain as a contraction wracked through my body, head foggy, her voice trailing off. I felt Nick inhale sharply too, as if he was feeling it as well, his fingers tightening on my hand until it was over. Was he feeling it?

Paige continued when I could lie back, when I could listen. This was seeming more like reality all the time and I wasn't sure if I was happy about that or not. "He was supposed to think it was real. I thought he'd wait for the birth to finish. A car distracted Nick just a moment, but he seemed to grab a pillow and jump out the window so he could get into it. You were screaming so much." Her words trailed off. She was shaking.

"He cut them out of me. He killed Pav." I shook, trying to calm down, trying to understand. A spell? I... "Where are they?"

"Just about ready to come out." Pav said, trying to sooth me, her hand stroking my leg. "Nearly there."

"I was lying there for hours." I stared at the window, at the sunlight pouring in, shaking. "For hours. With my stomach cut open. I saw it."

"It wasn't real." Paige insisted. She sat down as Elena offered her a chair. "It was just to keep him safely locked up in his own head till help arrived."

"Paige wouldn't release it. Not until he was far away." Nick muttered. "I tried. I tried and ..." He cut off as a contraction knocked us both over, his own breathing as fast as mine, like he really was sharing it. He'd felt the rape and now he was feeling this. My body wanted to push, wanted to bear down again, and I did what it wanted, I followed the instincts it had, a soft cry escaping both of us as I _pushed_.

"If I released it too soon, he'd just turn around and come back. He'll know now. He'll know it wasn't real."

I slowly unwound my tense muscles, as Nick did the same, reaching up to touch his tense face. "Did you feel that?"

He nodded. Grinned weakly at me, leaning down to kiss me. "Well, I promised to share it."

I tried to wriggle into his lap, Nick moving to sit behind me, helping me up so I was lying on his legs. His scent, his fear, his pain, it didn't panic me, all I wanted was him to be close. I just wanted to hear his heartbeat. I was terrified, confused, and it _hurt_.

"Clayton's downstairs with Jeremy, keeping watch."

"I thought it was only Iven..."

Elena shook her head, a small smile. "You're about to give birth and you're still trying to be involved."

"Well?"

"It was-" She paused, the contraction interrupting her, my head swimming. "-only Ivan on the plane. He snuck in across the state line from another airport. Came straight here."

"So I'm still in labor. No cut in my stomach. Pav's alive."

"Pav's alive." Pav agreed. She checked. "And you're just about ready to push. How are you feeling?"

"_Drugs_."

"You've already got some in you." She answered.

"I don't feel them." Or did I? Maybe that was why I felt so confused and bewildered by this. I blinked, then grimaced as I had to stop talking, my stomach contracting and pushing, pushing without me directing it to, like it'd had as much of this as it could take. I felt Nick's own stomach tense against my head.

"We had to give them to you to calm Nick down. I hope you don't mind." Elena said, softly, glancing up at Nick. "He wanted an epidural."

"Mind? You can put _more_ in me." I cried out, grabbing for something, finding Nick's leg as my body bore down again, Pav waiting.

"I think you're ready to push."

"My body's way ahead off you." I snapped, flushed at my tone, but didn't have time to tell her sorry. My body was doing it again, bearing down, so hard that it made me dizzy, burning agony throughout my hips. I felt Nick hiss too.

"Give her more drugs." He snapped as well, when it was over, his face pale. "Give _me_ drugs. Fuck."

"Paige, can you get some towels and the hot water off the stove? We're going to need it sooner than I thought." Pav's eyes snapped up to Paige who nodded, hurrying out, her face still white. "Nick, time to come help."

Nick slid out from my back, and I felt Elena move there, lifting me up higher. I wasn't sure why but I appreciated that, it seemed to help the next one, the next bearing down sense, and this time I added my own push to the body's shove, my heart pounding, trying to get this done. Elena bent with me, like she knew what this was like, knew how exhausted I was, her weight helping me. I wanted to scream but I couldn't, I just grit my teeth, eyes shut, a low moan of pain, which rose into a high pitched whine as the pain increased suddenly. This was just as bad as that damn ...spell. I noticed someone else in the room, Amar, standing in the corner to give me privacy as he and Pav worked together, directing her when she needed help.

Nick had frozen halfway to Pav, bending over as he shared the pain, and when it was over he went to sit near her between my legs. The sight there, whatever it was, made him jerk backwards and fall off the bed. "Fucking hell. I'm coming back up there, Elena."

"Oh no you don't. You get to see it."

"What's wrong?" I tried to see, but I could barely move, just lay there against Elena, body already exhausted.

"He's never seen a baby's head half out before."

"Oh, that exp-" I did scream then, a soft low scream, as Nick's own body tensed, hands clutching hard against the rails of the bed as he tried to stand there. I pushed, pushed with all I could, sheet ripping under my fingernails. I could feel it. Feel it move, feel it get out just a fraction more, Nick pushed forward and told to hold the head. Support shoulders.

"One more."

Then it was over, with another agonising push, and I lay there, pain remaining as something slid out of me, exhausted, eyes shut as I heard it. The real cry. Not a spell, or anything else, and Nick's inhale as he sat there with the baby in his hands, the sound of Pav moving around, my head spinning too much.

"This better not be a spell as well." I muttered, low, my throat raw from screaming. I wondered if I'd screamed while I was in the spell too? I must have. "I can't do that again." I knew I had to, once more, but still...

"It's not a spell. It's a girl."

I could hear Nick's breathing, hear him sitting there, hear the baby in his hands, and after a few minutes opened one eye to watch him. He was holding it like he didn't know if it was allowed close to him or not, hands shaking, frozen. His eyes were wide as he gawked at it, this tiny baby wriggling and telling him how much she hated being out of that warm place, like she'd just popped out of my chest.

_Well, I_ thought, _to be fair he had just seen her rip out of that place he liked so much. _

She was at least as big as Matt had been.

"Can I hold her now?" I asked, softly, and he blinked at me. Pav gently took it from him, the cord cut by now, wrapping the squirming crying baby in a blanket and giving him back to Nick.

Nick stood up and went around to me, flopping beside me, the baby lowered carefully onto my chest. Elena didn't move, but she reached over for another towel, offering it to Nick.

"What do you think?" I asked, eyes going up to Nick, cringing as my body started again, started the pain, cringing as I tried to breathe. It wasn't going to give me a break, apparently. He bent over me, his own breathing hitched, and Pav moved up to feel and press into my stomach. That did not help. I could feel the other baby, feel it moving down, feel my body pushing it down into the space that had been opened up. "Take the baby."

"You better let me hold her." Elena said, after Nick just stared there staring at it blankly, and I nodded. Let her take the baby, sliding to my side, her fingers brushing across his face.

Nick was struggling to breathe, his face white, and I reached up to stroke his face. Silly man was in shock. What did he think would come out of there? His nostrils kept flaring, inhaling the smell of the fluid, the blood, the baby, his arm trembling as one of his hands found mine and clung to it.

My body was trying to bear down, trying to push, and I went with it, reaching down to press against my stomach, this urge to touch it. It was softer than before but not completely.

Five minutes later, they had to get Antonio in, because Nick couldn't move. He couldn't even speak. He offered to kick Nick but I asked him to catch the baby instead. He blinked, went red, and nodded. I honestly didn't care how long he looked at it down there now, it wasn't going to look anything like it usually did, and Nick was clearly too shocked to try it again.

It wasn't long, although it felt like another hour through the pushing, before another cry joined the first, another body wriggling around in Antonio's hands, and he was quick to wrap her up and wipe her face, apparently able to think better than Nick. He stared at his granddaughter as Pav moved back, sighing, relieved and relaxing. She was getting things ready, helping Antonio clean, Elena moving over with the other baby as they were weighed. Amar came over, from where he'd been directing Pav.

I wasn't relaxing. I needed to keep pushing. I could feel it, even if they hadn't noticed, and I couldn't believe it.

"This is a spell. Or a dream." I cried out, exhausted, but so stubborn, so tired, I had to get this over with. Finished. Get it out. A gush of something between my legs sent a wave of panic through me, blind panic mixing with pain, but it didn't smell like blood.

Nick doubled over too, his eyes finally blinking.

"It's not a dream." Pav called.

Amar was moving forward from the corner now. He paused as he went to do whatever it doctors did after, I had no clue, and glanced over at where Pav was. "Pav, we're not done."

"The placentas aren't coming?"

"I'm seeing some feet." Amar called and she hurried back over, staring at the spot between my legs with the same expression he ha. "I thought you said twins?"

"I..." She tugged gloves on suddenly, sliding there, the two of them between my legs as he was directing her, suddenly, telling her what to do, telling me to push again, which made me groan and shut my eyes. Thanks. I noticed. I could feel it, this tiny body, smaller than the other two, as my my body pushed it out through the gap. And somehow this time it was easy, compared to the other two, the pain shorter, quicker, before something almost fell out with the guidance of Pav's small hands.

"A boy?"

He was tiny compared to his sisters, so quiet, and barely moved as he was lifted up. I wanted to sleep, to pass out, but fear kept me awake.

"He's not crying." I tried to sit up, but I was pushed back as Antonio went to look.

"He's just staring at me." Antiono said, blinking at the baby, as it wriggled and lay there. Wonder appeared on his face his face, as he touched the baby. Pav had to wrap it up in a towel, not having a third blanket around, and handed it to Amar.

I shut my eyes and lay back, exhausted, breathing hard. It felt like I was done. Nothing else wriggling in there. I heard Amar's voice as he said it was fine, the baby was fine, just small. Something about it hiding behind the other two during the two ultrasounds. I didn't care how he'd hidden, I just wanted to sleep. It was daylight outside, I realised, it had to be close to lunch. Hadn't noticed that before. Maybe I'd get some dinner.

"Any more up there?"

"No." Pav said, after she checked my stomach, and I sighed. Relief flooding through me.

"Good. Nick, no more puppies." I muttered. Heard laughter. I couldn't open my eyes to see who laughed, couldn't move, not even when I felt Nick's body shudder, his panic searing into my nostrils with the sudden smell of my own blood. I let the darkness come back and my body slip into peace.

When I woke, I lay there, eyes shut, body drained of all energy, feeling some incredible pain coming from my hips with the smell of blood. I wasn't sure if I was going to expect to see my stomach torn open by a mad alpha or triplets. Both prospects frightened the hell out of me. And the truth was, I wasn't sure which was reality. Both had been equally realistic.

Nick was there beside me, fingers gently running through my hair, or was he combing it? It was just like him to do that. Groom me while I lay here unconscious. I bet I'd wake and find myself dressed too.

I opened one eye and smiled a fraction. I _was_ dressed. Clean. Had he painted my nails? They were purple. I lifted one finger and stared at the nail polish. This was a new low, even for Nick. Good god, the man really had been terrified.

"Dinner time?" I tried to speak, voice cracking, throat hurting.

Nick froze and I felt a shudder go up his spine. He slid down to my side, lower, dropping the brush on the floorboards. He looked exhausted. I reached up, slowly, making muscles work so I could brush across his face. It wasn't telling me which of the dreams was the right one.

"Did I have triplets or did a mad alpha cut my stomach open?" I croaked and he leaned down to kiss me hard, just a moment, before his lips softened and the kiss was gentle, long, even slightly desperate. Did that mean it'd been the first dream?

"Triplets. Dad's got at least one of them in his arms at any time. He can't get enough of them." He tried to laugh but he struggled, his body shaking, head dropping beside mine on the pillow. Then he sat up straighter, suddenly, grabbing a glass of water that was there. "Here, have something to drink."

"Read my mind." I lifted my head to let him tip some of it in, sighing in relief as it parched my cracked throat, head falling back.. I shut my eyes again, felt him stiffen with panic, and opened them. "I'm fine, stop freaking out."

"You almost _died_, woman." Nick growled. Suddenly strength was in his voice, suddenly he was full of energy, like he couldn't take me joking right now. "Tore something. Bled all over the place. They had to put _stitches_ in there."

"Are they all right?"

"The stitches look strange."

"The _babies_, Nick."

He blinked and nodded, face softening, relaxing. "They're healthy. Already hungry." His eyes trailed from me to over his shoulder. "Clearly mine."

I chuckled, cringed as the movement made the pains in my hips come back. "Where are they?"

"Probably kidnapped by someone in the pack. I keep turning my back on that crib and one's vanished. I left them in there." He glanced over his shoulder to the crib and when I tried to get up, he sighed, and helped me.

The three of them lay there, one of the girls fast asleep, the little boy and the other girl shoulder to shoulder. He was tiny compared to his sisters, like they'd hogged all the good stuff, but he seemed to be twice as alert as them, staring up at us as we came to stare down at them. I inhaled, slowly, shutting my eyes, bringing in the scent of my babies into my mind. I already knew it by heart. Three little werewolves. I could smell it in them, that smell Logan and Kate had, three little puppies to add to the pack.

"So that was a spell?"

Nick stiffened. "Paige keeps trying to apologise to me."

"I didn't know spells like that existed."

"She did it to Hope once, apparently, faked a death in front of Hope and her kidnapper to escape. Elena's on Paige's side. It _did_ make the alpha leave." He added the last part grudgingly, reluctantly. "They're on his tail now and Iven's in the shed since last night. You've been asleep for a day. And no, you can't go down to the shed."

I wanted to but instead I looked at the bed, trembling, and Nick took me back. Lay me back down there, careful to do it slowly.

"So does he still think he's got my baby?"

"He ran off with a pillow. Second she brought you out of it, he came out too, so no, he doesn't. If anything makes it worth it, it would have been the look on his face to see what he was really running away with." Nick chuckled then. Leaned down to kiss me. "We'll hunt him down. Get our pillow back. I liked that pillow."

"I'll hunt him down." I muttered. "You keep those three safe. I'll buy you a new pillow."

He smiled weakly and I lay there, staring at the crib, watching the three sets of feet inside it wriggle and kick.

"I think she really is sorry you suffered. Even I wouldn't have thought he'd go that far." Nick said, after a while, his heart rate slowing.

"Defending her?"

Nick nodded, slowly, face easing as the rage vanished. "She did keep you safe. If she hadn't done that..."

"I'd have a big hole in my stomach and he'd have one of our babies?"

He nodded. Shivered and reached down to touch my stomach. It had deflated quite a bit now, was a bit soft, and I dreaded to see how it'd look if I lifted the dress. But if that was my worst problem, a baby belly, I didn't care how it looked.

After an hour, Antonio slid into the room, eyes for the crib before us. He found us lying there, wide awake, and grinned. Whatever energy the injury had taken out of him had apparently been restored.

"Just wanted to get another hold. How are you feeling?" He came to sit beside me.

"Sore. Nick said I nearly died."

Antonio rolled his eyes and leaned over to hit Nick over the head. "You had a small tear and bled a while, it was fine, they had it under control quickly. Nick fainted at the sight of the placentas. He didn't believe me that it was supposed to come out."

"Did he try to get them back in?"

Antonio laughed.

"I only suggested it was strange. I knew what they were, they just didn't look...right." Nick muttered. "They were like big ...organs. And the babies were so messy and bloody. I thought ..."

"They're supposed to look like that." Antonio replied, shaking his head. "When you were born..." He trailed off, as Nick's eyes went up to him, and I realised that this was probably the first time Antonio had mentioned Nick's birth at all.

Antonio stood up to gently lift up the awake baby, holding her against him, her eyes blinking owlishly as he held her. She had dark hair, a lot of dark hair, head a funny shape, her fists closing and opening slowly around one of Antonio's offered fingers.

"What are we calling them?" I asked, yawning, shutting my eyes.

"What was your sister's name?"

"Susie. What her twin?"

Antonio suddenly spoke up, looking so much like Nick when Nick was embarrassed to admit something. His eyes were on the baby in his arms, touching her, stroking her face."What about Lily?"

"Susie and Lily?" I offered Nick, who blinked at his father, before he looked at me. He nodded slowly, a small smile on his face growing there. I wondered if it was the name of his mother. It seemed to do something to his heart, his eyes darting back to him, as if to check that was okay. Antonio had turned to hold the baby again, holding her close against his chest, eyes on her. That was Lily. I wondered why her toenails were painted purple too though...

I spoke after a while, "What about the boy?"

"We could name him after Clayton."

"Bit of pressure there for him." I teased, nipping Nick's neck slightly. "Who else in your family?"

"Dad, what do you think if we name him after your Dad?"

Antonio seemed to be overwhelmed by that, sitting down, and nodding. He swallowed hard. "I would think that's a good choice."

Nick grinned. "Dominic Clayton, Susie and Lily?"

I nodded, relieved, and lay back. Now that was out of the way I could sleep.

It took a week to get out of bed again. Apparently Antonio had been right- I wasn't that badly off, considering, and had more than enough help to get each baby fed. Apparently Nick had even been thoughtful enough to buy an automatic breast pump _and_ to help me figure out how to use it before the milk really came in. I'd _never_ felt like mooing as much as I did with that thing on there. Paige was still devastated as to how it'd gone, the spell, but I'd reminded her that if she hadn't done it, we'd have a much bigger problem.

Still, having a werewolves ability to heal meant I was out of bed and healing faster than expected. Or maybe that was how stubborn I was about getting out and back to full strength.

Matt was fascinated, and finally released his personal boundaries to come closer, as fascinated as Nick was about how 'breast feeding' worked when the milk finally started to really come in. They'd sit there watching it, side by side, as I fed one or two of the three. We found that none of them wanted to be alone in the crib without the others but luckily there was never a shortage of werewolves willing to hold the left out baby while the other two got attention.

And it turned out that the reason Lily had purple nail polish was to do with practical needs, rather than Nick loosing his mind with worry, as she and Susie were identical. Lily got purple, Susie got blue. Pav explained that because they'd been in the same 'sack' they were guaranteed to be identical. We must have originally started off with twins and then one of the eggs had split. Then the girls had shoved Dominic behind them at some point. He might have been smaller than them but he was twice as hungry and he was catching up faster than I could believe.

By the second week I was more than willing to try jumping down stairs again, much to Jeremy's horror, partially triggered by the alpha again vanishing. And with the last of his pack taken care of, with the way we'd humiliated him by sending him away with a pillow, no one had the illusion that he'd just slunk off. I cornered Clayton as soon as I could and made him start to train me again, between a machine on my boobs, hungry werewolf babies, changing nappies and snuggle times which I usually ended up doing more than planned because I couldn't put them down again once they were settled, clean and happy, I would collapse exhausted in bed. Nick seemed to struggle at first too, needing some instruction and help, but he was getting into the swing of it by the second week.

By the third week we'd gotten a routine going. Feeding three babies six times a day, each, Nick taking the bottle and me trying to get used to the feeling of being milked by a baby or a machine, dirty nappies more than we wanted to admit. It did help to have Elena and Clayton there, who'd already been through it, who seemed to have a little more experience than us. Antonio also pitched in as much as he could. I was openly training again now, getting fit again, trying to get my body back to some kind of good state now that the babies were safely out of it. The second my body was healed, the training with Clayton got serious, and I started to really feel like I was being trained. Nick would find another bruise or two. Clayton was careful to avoid my chest but also very clear that anyone fighting me would not be like that. They would probably try going for that spot first.

With a routine going, training underway, and my body returning to some kind of normal state, now I just had to wait for the alpha to reappear. It didn't take long.


	19. Choices

Three weeks in and we were in the full swing of it. It was easy!

...well, not easy. Actually, this parent thing was so damn difficult that I sometimes wondered if I could slip one of them into Elena and Clayton's room for a night and see if they were too sleepy to remember that their twins were now kids.

But we had a routine and we adapted. The early mornings were the best. We'd be woken up by one, two or all three of them for their morning change. Or sometimes they'd be woken by Matt, Logan and Kate around seven thirty, if they were sleeping in, the three kid's curiosity about the the triplets not vanishing even after all this time.

The two of us would get up, moan and groan like zombies, sometimes let the twins and Matt in, sometimes we'd leave them outside, kiss each other as we tried to get the three nappies changed before the triplets got hysterical. The amusing thing was that Susie was happier in her nappy, so she was generally left till last, as if she found the warm squishiness comforting. Nick would gently lie them down on the bed in a row, using some sort of special baby holding foam thing, and vanish downstairs for their and our breakfasts.

Then I'd collapse back into the bed and sleep for a blissful ten minutes, triplets beside me, till he'd returned with two bottles and our breakfast. It turned out that we needed formula after all, as I just couldn't make or pump enough for the three, so he'd feed two with a mixture of 'pure' and 'powder' while I gave one of the triplets the 'pure stuff' while I pumped out some more on the other side. I was glad he didn't say this in public. People would think we were drugging them up, not trying to feed them.

Once the three were fed, Nick and I could lie down on either side of them, reaching across to hold hands as we watched them fall back asleep between us. This was the moment when we could admire them, watch them falling asleep, their unclear eyes blinking at us, even lifting their head just a fraction in an attempt to follow our hands. They knew our voices, they knew the sound of us, and they were getting used to knowing that we were it. The ones that rushed to them whenever something was wrong.

He didn't confess to it but I'd watch his eyes trace over each baby's fingers, lifting their hands up, counting the fingers, touching the tiny nails, touch the bottom of their feet, like Nick was making sure that everything was where it was supposed to be still. I didn't tease him about it because I tended to do the same thing.

Nick's anxiety about being a father was easing too. Or maybe he was too exhausted to be afraid of how to do it, maybe he just did it.

"Nick?"

He glanced up, eyes soft as they met mine, yawning as he reached across the three nearly asleep babies to stroke my face. "Mmm?"

"Love you."

He grinned and wriggled around them, slowly, carefully, so that he could reach me. "Love you too."

"Let's not forget protection from now on." I muttered, as I reached down to catch one of Dominic's hands, his eyes twisting to my face as I smiled at him.

"Not a chance. I'll pull out." He teased, resting down so that our heads were touching, his big blue eyes followed Nick's movement. I hoped he was teasing anyway. Even teenagers knew that didn't stop. When he added, "Or you could go on top. I hear that stops it. Gravity."

I reached over to smack him, his hand catching mine, squeezing it and pressing his lips to it.

We went quiet, watching them sleep there. They knew no dangers, no anxiety, knew nothing about a big bad mutt trying to capture them, they just knew us, and we both intended on keeping it that way. It was kind of humbling to see them like that, kind of terrifying, these three little lives just so dependant on us like this.

"I'll come with you when it's time. Dad will come here." Nick said, softly, watching them.

Antonio had returned to New York to his work a week after they'd been born. I nodded, not disagreeing with him, because he had just as much right to trace the alpha as I did.

"I know."

"The fights yours, I know, I'll just be there to mock him. Chase him. Maybe shove something up his ass for you. I was thinking something really sharp."

"Just stick close to Clayton so you don't get lost." I muttered, and he laughed softly, his terrible sense of direction something I'd only just found out about.

Another problem with triplets was that we had to do things for ourselves somehow. Luckily, a full house suddenly had its advantages, as we'd be able to shower or eat or do the weekly change together, with no shortage of babysitters willing to watch them for an hour or two. Pav and Vi had gone to Russia to spend time with the Russian pack, before they decided where they'd live, and there was no help from them. Amar, Pav's father, had stayed with us. He'd tried to go to Russia with them but had suffered a full on panic attack on the plane, having to get off it and return. I knew he'd been struggling for some time with his own anxiety, after months of working under the impression his daughter was being hurt, and now he had to deal with all of that. So Jeremy let him remain and act as 'pack's doctor'. He worked with Daniella quite a bit with the research material found on werewolves.

On our fourth change since the birth that we smelt the alpha. We'd been racing and playing with each other, taking full advantage of our few hours alone together, Reece and Daniella more or less within scent and hearing range but giving us some privacy.

His tracks had been just on the edge of the properties, not fresh ones, but he hadn't tried to hide his presence either. It was a challenge, a reminder, and perhaps even the start of his return. He'd left kills along the edges of our border, small animals or rabbits, anything he'd been able to sink his teeth into, and left them to decompose without bothering to eat them.

Nick was the one that found the tracks and I skidded to a halt beside him as I followed them a way. His teeth closed around my ruff, yanking me back, growling as he shook his head. I knew he wanted to wait for Reece and Daniella to catch up and he was right of course but my instincts, my fury, wanted to chase those tracks and hunt the man down.

Instead, I sat back, obeying Nick's order, licking and nuzzling at him as I felt his heart race, his fear that I'd take off without him and endanger myself all over again.

Reece and Daniella caught up and were quick to evaluate the situation. It was Nick who called the shots out here on these runs and when he jerked his head away from the border, we knew what he requested, even if he'd pointed in the wrong direction.

The four of us made our way back to the house, quick and without games now, changing quickly. No time for 'creative fun' I figured, as we called it, the moment I was changed and found Nick changing, I just kissed him, reaching up to brush his tense face with my thumb.

We headed back, slowly, brushing against each other as we walked, knowing that Daniella and Reece were already at the house, we heard him calling for Clayton, so Nick tugged me behind a tree.

"Let him tell them." He whispered, putting a finger over my mouth, before he yanked my legs up around his legs and kissed me hard, stunning me with how fierce it was, how possessive, how desperate almost. We stood there for a good five minutes, taking full advantage of our moment to throw away responsibilities and duties to the wind, it driving Nick mad as he tried to get me to undress and I refused, catching movement behind him. A golden wolf was scooting along the ground on his belly, stalking up slowly, one blue eye winking at me as I made eye contact with him.

"Nick..."

His hand was sliding up my top, teeth nipping at my lip as he stroked across my stomach. "Reece will tell Jeremy. Stay put." Another hand was sliding down my pants, finding what he was looking for, making my breath hitch as he teased me, lips refusing to let me tell him what he probably wanted to know. Oh well. His fault for kissing me when I was trying to talk. I kissed him hard, suddenly, making him press me harder against the tree, grinding up against me gently, making it very clear what he thought of our month without sex. Alpha be damned, apparently, because Nick a bigger problem than the alpha. Well, a bigger something, he was sure of that.

It wasn't just about the sex though. I knew that, I knew that it was triggered by the alpha too, this sudden desire to enjoy and have what was rightfully his. At least that was what I told myself as I gave in just a little, kissed him just a little harder, reassuring him that yes, I was his. He was mine.

But I was ready to drop to my feet as the big golden wolf behind him finally stalked close enough to yank Nick off his feet and throw him to the ground.

Nick yelped as Clayton threw him to the ground playfully. yanking him away, my feet easily finding the ground. I tried to warn him about the wolf stalking up behind him, really, it was his own fault that he was now pinned by the big wolf.

"Hi Clay." I said, tugging my top down, as the wolf's mouth opened in a panting grin above his prey. It lasted a moment before his eyes narrowed with a silent query that I guessed was to do with the invasion. "It's near the border between this property and Stonehaven. In that corner. I didn't get to see how far he'd left it."

A slight nod, a low growl in response, Clayton's feelings on this invasion fairly clear. He twisted around as Elena tried to pounce on him, catching her, the two rolling around and snapping at each other playfully for a moment before they turned and headed off, shoulders brushing, off to investigate what we'd found.

I turned and headed inside before Nick could try again, hearing the familiar cry of one of my babies and knowing Jeremy would be waiting to hear it from us too, Nick groaning softly and running after me.

Jeremy stood in the kitchen, rocking Lily, as Reece took Dominic and Daniella tried to feed Susie but was struggling as Susie continued to fuss and cry. She looked relieved when she saw me and handed her over fast. Daniella never pretended to like babies. She helped, when she had to, but she preferred to admire them from a safe distance. I took Susie, who seemed to calm down at the sound of my voice. I fed her while Nick explained what we'd found.

"Do you know how old the tracks were?" Jeremy asked us and we shook our head.

"Maybe a few days old."

"Any humans with him?"

We shook our head. The past four weeks, whenever we'd found a trace of him, there'd usually be some kind of human or another nearby. This time he'd been on his own as a wolf and I guessed he'd probably had to come from a distance if his shadows weren't there this time. It was purely to piss us off. Maybe even get us to chase him.

"He's circling us, isn't he?" Nick asked and Jeremy nodded a fraction, as he turned his back to rub Lily's back. Nick moved to take her when Jeremy offered, nuzzling against her head with his cheek.

Matt came in from the back, Kate tearing after him, but he only stopped to wave before he tore out the front door, only to get knocked over by Logan. His body was getting stronger and I no longer had mini heart attacks when they got like that. Which was virtually all the time. So many kids now, it was a relief that the three older ones would soon start attending school for the first time together. But only when we'd dealt with the last of the threats.

The babies asleep again, we all gathered downstairs in the living room, waiting to hear for news of what Elena and Clayton had found. They came back after a few hours, confirming what we'd found.

"Three days old. Ended at a road." Elena said as she came inside and flopped beside us. Nick leaned over to lie on her lap, ignoring her shove. "You're as bad as ever, Nick."

"What do you want us to do?" Clayton asked from the doorway, standing against it, arms crossed. "Go after him?"

"Follow it for a while. Not too far, just enough to get an idea of his direction."

Elena nodded and stood, Clayton moving out ahead of her, the two of them heading off.

"I need to talk to Anne urgently." Nick stood up, grabbing my hand, not waiting for permission, just trusting that Jeremy wouldn't abandon the babies if they needed him. Of course he wouldn't. I was dragged upstairs, Nick hurrying me with little pushes from behind, and when we got into the bedroom and the door was locked he pounced.

Apparently he hadn't finished what he'd wanted to start against the tree. I wriggled out of his way, twisting around him, only to be yanked to the ground and pinned there, pretending to be trapped as Nick stripped my clothing off, a low growl under his grin. Bit by bit. Three weeks without sex was pretty cruel to him, I knew, but I still pretended to resist, pretended to wriggle away, feeling him grab my ankles and pull me back.

"Protection?" I glanced at where he'd put it.

"It's okay, I read that you don't need it for the first month." Nick pressed kisses to the back of my neck, nipping, licking, as strong hands pulled my hips up into his while I lay under him. His still clothed hips ground hard into my legs as he pushed them open. "We've got one day before I have to worry about that. And you're healed now."

"Oh, so _that_ was what was urgent."

He grinned at me, nodding, and growled when I slid away from him, climbing up over the bed to escape him. With a pounce he was on my legs, dragging me back again, pulling my legs over the edge of the bed and pinning me with his hips again, the fabric there digging into my bare skin. I tried to reach back to undo his pants, my body so turned on after weeks of waiting, but he held me still.

"Want to lie down?" He asked, hands running up my back, as his back shuddered, betraying how badly he wanted to be inside me, but enjoying how it teased me. I wanted him to move, I pushed my hips backwards against his, making Nick growl and push himself forward harder, the soft edge of the bed digging into my stomach.

"I might fall asleep." I wasn't kidding either. Thirty seconds on that bed, no matter what he was doing, and I'd pass out.

He chuckled and his body shifted backwards. I growled, trying to pull him back, but he stood up and moved away.

"Come back here." I turned around, twisting around, sliding up onto the bed. For a moment I suddenly wanted to hide my nakedness, face going red, my body so different from what it'd been like before the birth. No time for a gym, even if Jeremy had created one, while I was racing up and down stairs trying to heat bottles and pump boobs and...

Nick raised an eyebrow when I didn't follow him, clearly expecting me to, and watched my hand sneak across to hide my stomach with the sheet.

"What are you doing?" He slid closer, kneeling in front of me, trying to pull it off. "Hiding something?" When I refused to let it slip, he took that as a challenge, sliding in between my legs through the sheet, teeth catching the fabric and ripping at it bit by bit.

"My stomach looks odd."

He understood then, comprehension dawning in his face, and with a slide closer Nick pushed the sheets up onto my lap. He wasn't going to force me to show it, though I suspected that he didn't care as much as I did, no wide eyed shock at the peeks through the torn parts of the sheet, no horror, and his body didn't seem to be affected in the slightest. Nick kissed me more tenderly, reaching up to stroke my face, stroke my tender breasts, hands running up and down my sides. Sure, I'd healed, but my body was different now. Fuller breasts, like I'd needed that, the softness back, and my stomach trying to recover.

Nick stood up, pulling himself free of his clothing right against me, grin focused down at me as he undressed so that I could see every single detail that sprang out. "Looks like I care?"

"Looks like you want to poke my eye out."

He grinned, as if he was tempted to pretend to do that, but his grin froze when I did something he was not expecting. I licked it. That almost set him off, then and there, his eyes widening. My eyes widened in response, an innocent look, as I shifted closer to lick it again, a firm lick, ignoring my own needs for now.

Nick somehow stood back, slowly, painfully, and then went to sit on the ground in front of me. I wasn't sure what he was doing until he pulled at my arm.

"Come and have a seat." He patted his thighs.

"Don't like me doing that?" I teased, standing up, trying to hold the sheet to my stomach. It didn't last long, Nick tore it apart, till I was clutching shreds that were starting to resemble tea towels. .

"I fucking love it. But I want you to enjoy me while I can still get away having you without a condom." Hands wrapped around my thighs, pulling me closer, his lips brushing against my bellybutton. I stepped over him, legs on either side of his, and carefully slid down into his lap. We both breathed out a sigh of relief, as he sank inside me, his arms wrapping around me and kissing my neck as my head fell back.

"Are you sure we can do this without protection?" I bent my head down to meet his lips, kissing at him as I rocked slowly against him, my body so sensitive now, that I almost lost control myself. I wasn't sure myself, somehow, wasn't sure if he was right.

"Mmmhmm."

His eyes fixed in mine as our bodies moved against each other, slowly, watching my reaction to him, so careful to stop or shift his body back if it hurt. It did hurt, somewhat, my body wasn't quite used to this yet, but the dampness made it bearable and I was already so close to climax that if he'd tried to stop, I'd growl and push myself deep onto him, fingers digging into his. Our breathing grew faster, pleasure taking away any ability to talk, my nails scratching against his back, bodies grinding against each other until the release came within a minute of each other, his hips driving up into mine as he followed mine with his own shudder, head in my breasts while he took advantage of the last chance he'd get to do this without protection.

We collapsed against each other, his back falling onto the floor, and I lay across him, feeling his heavy breathing soften under me, his stomach relaxing, one of his hands reaching up to brush my hair out of his face. I scooted back so that I could rest my head on his chest instead. There were some advantages to him being taller than me.

"We'll have to go back downstairs soon." Nick murmured, wrapping his arms around me instead, head falling back onto the floorboards.

"Can't leave the triplets to them forever."

"Nope." Still, his arms very clearly were saying 'don't move'. I didn't want to move. Why would I want to?

It only took him five minutes before he rolled me onto my back and we started again, slower, gentler, careful with each other, trying to take our time, enjoy this last one as long as we could, the climaxes longer, slower, and longer apart so that he could watch me, and then I could watch him. Afterwoods we were almost asleep when we heard the distant cry of one baby. It wasn't long before the other two joined in, a mutual distress call.

We stood up, tugging on clothing fast.

"Better go rescue Jer." Nick grinned at me, pulling me against him for one last kiss.

"Then when they're asleep again we nap."

"Agreed." He yawned, stretched, and we made our way downstairs.

Jeremy was trying to talk on the phone and allocate baby duty to a very uninterested Daniella, who stood back, arms crossed, as if she was hoping we'd show up. She looked relieved when we did and slipped outside. Changing three babies was always difficult. Luckily, they didn't always need changing at the same time, just had a habit of getting upset when one was crying their head off. Real pack members- already getting distressed as a collective. When one was distressed, all got distressed, and we had to make sure that all three had someone to comfort and be attended to sometimes. And they'd usually take it as their cue to try it themselves.

This usually meant that one of us would have two and the other would change the baby that needed it. I sat down with the girls, it being Nick's turn, as he sighed and took care of Dominic. As usual, they calmed down when he did, only to have one of them then decide it was a great idea and wet herself as well. A quick swap of babies, Lily on the changing table, Susie on the couch so that I could finish dressing Dominic, and then again when a nasty smell drifted up from Susie while she lay there. Another swap, Dominic on the couch dressed, Lily being dressed and cooed at as she calmed down, Nick taking on the third and last change. Hopefully.

I listened to Jeremy on the phone as he talked, cooing to Lily as her face grew less and less upset, knowing she'd need a feed in five minutes or less. Jeremy seemed to guess this too, having spent three weeks with them already, because he was trying to get the bottles ready for us while we dealt with the smelly bit.

"That's good news but it'll be difficult for us to stay away for a week." A pause, as he glanced up at us, frowning a little. "I see... Yes, I understand...We'll pack up a bag and be out tonight so the workers can start work early... Yes... That's fine. ..You have my number. All right, goodbye."

"What's wrong?"

"They're doing something with Stonehaven that is dangerous without protective gear. I know you don't have room but we'll have to spend a week here, I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. That's okay. It's still warm and dry, the kids could have a sleep out in a tent or something."

"Yeah, we'll stuff Matt's toys into his wardrobe and Elena and Clayton can sleep in there." Nick hesitated, and then corrected himself. "Actually, Matt will probably drag his entire bedroom worth of toys into the tent."

"Probably." I smiled somewhat. He did have issues with that, leaving his belongings behind, and while he couldn't take them to school when it started, he did somehow manage to carry half his room around the house depending on where he was. "He'll probably not like anyone in his room. But the twins would probably be welcome."

"Is the den all right for you?" Nick offered Jeremy, who nodded. "We'll get something comfortable in there. It'll work."

"Did they say what they were doing?" I was getting ready for feeding the lunchtime 'pure' feeder, Lily, yanking the blanket across my shoulder and the pillows into place. Not to hide the breast feeding part but because Lily was already proving to be an easily distracted baby who'd forget to eat and then get upset because she was still hungry.

"Something to do with chemicals. Want me to feed one?" Jeremy was quickly handed Dominic as Nick flopped beside me with Susie.

I yawned and leaned back as they fed. Breast feeding was not as much fun as other activities with the breasts. It was a strange sensation, a little uncomfortable even, and it'd taken a few days just to figure out how to do it. When Nick shifted so that I could rest against his arm I took advantage of it, half-dozing there, jerking awake every now and then when Lily bit harder or tugged a bit too much.

I woke being lifted down into bed, now upstairs, hearing the soft coos and noises of the three babies in their shared crib. Nick must have gotten them upstairs and then come back for me.

"I fell asleep again?"

"Lily didn't mind- she just kept going till she was done." He slid into bed beside me, looking as exhausted as I felt, and pulled me against his stomach. We both fell asleep again, the fan blowing cool air across us.

The next few days had the house suddenly full again of people and kids. This proved to be a problem, somewhat, as the adults seemed to know how to behave around babies that were tired, even sometimes willing to pitch in. Except for Daniella, who flat out refused when she could, and who started to volunteer for any or every other chore she could to get away with not doing baby duty. With a ton of laundry and cooking no one argued there. But the kids didn't know and when Matt had Logan and Kate around, it worked him up, so that the three ran around the house and yard screaming in some fantastic game that no adult could really figure out. Kids screaming usually woke babies until we had to leave them upstairs in the nursery virtually all the time, carry around the baby monitor, and listen obsessively to it in case a coo turned into a cry.

The tent idea proved to be a hit though. It was put up in the backyard, somewhat in the shade out of the warm sun, and the kids almost moved into it, dragging everything they could from Matt's room inside.

So while they entertained themselves, we somehow managed to prepare for operation asshole hunt. Well, that was what I called it, Jeremy probably had a more elegant phrase in mind. For me, that meant more training with Clayton and/or Elena, which meant I needed more naps, and had more sore bits and bruises, and half the time we'd be running instead of learning techniques. I didn't like running as much as they did. My hip always made that part difficult but apparently that was exactly why I should push it. Even if I wasn't fast, endurance was apparently important, so I focused on it. Endurance and agility. Nick tried to join in but he couldn't pretend that he was more interested in looking good rather than actually being muscular. He might not have been as obsessive with my looks, although he did continue try and dress me up in clothes he liked, but when it came to his own appearance he was downright obsessive. Between that and babies, I couldn't cook any more, I'd be falling asleep all over the place, burnt pasta, fell asleep while trying to do a laundry load, my domestic skills a flat out disaster.

Elena spent half the time with Jeremy, the two of them on the phone with Antonio, because apparently Jeremy bounced most of his ideas off Antonio that way. This wasn't new for us, he did spend a lot of time in the den anyway working, but now it seemed to be reaching fever pitch with the invasion along the edge of our property. Elena and Clayton had confirmed our findings- that it had been a three day old set of tracks preserved by the warm sun and dry weather. Corpses not eaten, just killed and left there, something that baffled and irritated Clayton more than anyone else. Wolves didn't kill for pleasure. They killed for survival. He was attacking our prey and leaving it to waste and upset the rest of the animals in our land.

It was while we were distracted by this that the alpha finally made his move. And he didn't have to lift a damned finger to do it.

We didn't even realise it was him at first. One minute the twins and Matt were sleeping outside, the next they'd vanished on their bikes, almost with the rain, in the direction they were allowed to go. Not near the road-side of the property, it was very clear that was off limits, as were the borders of the lands, but they didn't go that direction. Being curious kids who'd heard Stonehaven was now off-limits they did the exact thing kids did when they heard they couldn't go somewhere.

They went there.

Reece and Jeremy agreed to do 'baby duty' so the four of us went after the kids, finding their bikes on the edge of the two properties, the gate in the fence wide open, Stonehaven's forest a bit too thick in that area for kids bikes to handle.

Nick lifted up Matt's bike off the mud, muttering about how it was brand new, resting it on the fence. Clayton didn't seem to care as much, he was still stunned that his kids had learnt how to ride at all, but he didn't like them wandering away too far like this.

"Should we chase them as wolves and herd them back? Or go as humans and carry them back over a shoulder?" I offered. Nick almost seemed tempted by the first choice.

We were already heading through the gate and into the property. Elena's cellphone rang, she ignored it, reaching down to inhale the scent of her kid's tracks, handing it to Clayton. He opened it.

Then suddenly everything happened at once.

She tensed, as if she'd smelt something she didn't like, Clayton's voice going "Wait, Jer, slow down...", and Nick fell back against the fence for no apparent reason. Seconds later, as Elena went to stand, she too suddenly was knocked backwards off her feet into the dirt.

Clayton dropped the phone and dragged her and Nick backwards, behind the fence, back behind the trees on the Forestwatch side of the fence. I grabbed the phone, hearing feet running, and slid backwards as well, behind my own tree, hearing Jeremy's voice calling for someone to pick it up.

"What's going on?"

A crossbow bolt slammed into the tree behind me, inches from my shoulder, and I froze. Eyes snapping across to where Clayton had dragged Nick and Elena, some five metres away, their faces white. Blood dripping on the ground. I could smell it, smell his rage at it, hear Jeremy's voice trying to get someone to answer as I held the phone against my ear in shock. Clayton was tugging off his shirt and ripping it, pressing it against where the scarlet of blood was shining in the sunlight.

"Is anyone there?"

"What's going on?" I snapped into the phone.

"Anne? Stay off the Stonehaven property. Don't cross into it." Jeremy spoke but I cut him off.

"It's a bit late to tell us that!"

"The kids are in there." Clayton called, softly, flinching as he heard something slam into a tree nearby.

"The kids are in there, Jeremy."

"I know. Come back to the house."

"They're shooting at us!" But, I realised, not _at_ us. There was the occasional crack of a bolt into a tree, the tremble of a heavy branch as the force of it struck it, but it wasn't near us at all. It was a warning. Panic was starting to rise, panic for the kids, for Nick, for Elena, the stench of their blood and fear filling my nostrils like a drug. "What about the kids? Nick? Elena? They're hurt! I don't know if we can mo-"

"Come back to the house." An order, not a request, and one that my instincts wanted to obey. Follow the alpha. Listen to the alpha. No more needing to panic. "We move from there."

Clayton had heard it too, even from that distance, gesturing for me to come across. I resisted a moment, fear throbbing through me, fear of those deadly little black things, but when it looked like he was tempted to drag me across himself, I finally skidded across the clearing, expecting to be struck, but the bolt again went wide, missing me by metres, another warning shot. Stay off the land.

"Can you lift Nick?" He asked, already lifting Elena, who cringed at the movement. There was something sticking out of her hip.

I lifted Nick as an answer, arm under his shoulders, his groan making my blood run cold. He had something stuck in him too, in his leg, in his shoulder. It showed that they expected him to be the better fighter than Elena, disabling his limbs instead of hers. I kissed his arm, getting a tense smile in return.

Clayton said, louder, to the still open line, "We're coming, Jer. We're leaving the fence." It was probably also to whoever was shooting at us. He hated it, I could see it in his face, hated that he was being forced to leave the challenge. But an order was an order and he didn't disobey his alpha any more than I could.

All my instincts screamed at me, as I tried to follow Clayton, tried to walk away from the fence, my back such a wide open target that it almost started the change. Almost. Nothing was right about exposing the vulnerable back like this. I had to cringe, almost duck, as I felt or heard the whoosh and clunk of a bolt into a branch as we tried to hurry the first hundred metres away from the fence. Only Nick kept me from loosing it completely, somehow managing to be an emotional support for me while I held him up, his voice soft as he spoke to me. I didn't understand a word of it now, it was just sound, but it helped.

It was a half hour walk back, at least, but we hurried. We hurried faster when Nick slumped unconscious, Clayton lowering Elena down so that he could lift him up, so that he could move ahead. I helped Elena, lifting her up fireman style, and tried to hurry after him, but his endurance was definitely ahead of mine. He was already ahead of me five minutes by the time we got to the house. Elena had to keep reminding me to stay calm, and it helped, until I could finally understand what she was saying again. Then when I was calm, I saw her own panic rise, the roles swapping. They had _her_ babies. And nothing I could say could calm that.

Jeremy rushed out to help me bring her in. I saw it before Jeremy did, the cringe in her body, the wince in her face, and knew that she was going to do what Nick had managed to stop in me. The only natural response a werewolf had to direct threat against their pack. Against their mate or their offspring. They changed into their stronger faster self.

I tried to hold her still, as she fought. She wanted to go back now, injury be damned, wanted to go find them, all rational sense faded when Clayton vanished out of her sight. And she was beyond stopping. Jeremy yelled for Clayton, who was already halfway out the door, the two of them grabbing her out of my arms and dragging her inside. Down to the cage.

I was going to follow but I heard Nick's groan, smelt his trail of blood, distracted by that. I followed it, the scent rising into my nostrils, finding him on the couch and Reece waiting for Amar to come back with medical equipment out of his RV. Nick was bleeding everywhere, his skin going white again, my heart rate increasing as well.

"Relax, it's all muscle." Reece called, eyes seeing my panic. "Our friendly doctor can handle it. Come here." He jumped across the coffee table and closed the gap in a second to grab me in an embrace, feeling my tenseness, and refused to let go till I calmed down. "Shh, it's all right. He's fine. They didn't shoot to kill, just to disable."

It fucking hurt though, I could see it in his face, as he stared at where one of the black bolts stuck out of the thick strong thigh muscle. Those muscles were huge and crossbows weren't gentle objects. Bad muscles to hurt. I relaxed, Reece let me go, and took my hand as he led me over to Nick, keeping me calm with that simple contact.

"You touching my woman again?" Nick pretended to glare at Reece, yanking me down, but the movement made him groan. "Shit. Gotta rethink that."

I slid down to sit beside him, touching his arm, seeing it in the shoulder muscles too. I tried to joke, tried to relax. "You really want to have manly scars, don't you? Always getting injured."

"They look good though, don't they?" He grinned, or tried to, cringing as he rested back against me, so that his head could rest in my lap. "Ow. Where's Elena?"

"Cage."

He didn't seem surprised by that, although Reece did, clearly understanding her reaction as much as I had. Even the most controlled and experienced werewolf could loose it if their child was hurt, I suspected, fall back to their strongest instincts. I reached down to stroke his face.

Jeremy came up before Amar returned, a scratch down his face, breathing hard.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked, snapping a bit more than I liked, this attack so sudden. "Who's in Stonehaven?"

"He called me just as you were crossing in. The alpha of the rouge pack. He has the kids. He made it clear that if we came onto Stonehaven's land, we'd be shot at. If we came near Stonehaven the boys would be gladly killed and he'd vanish with Kate." He hesitated, as if he wasn't telling it all, but that was enough for me for now. "I called you as fast as I could."

"What do we do?"

"Get Elena and Nick cared for. He won't harm them for the moment." Jeremy was in full on alpha mode, probably to keep us calm, showing full confidence in himself, no doubt at what he was saying, and it soothed me a little. Maybe he was right. Matt, Logan and Kate would be safe as long as we stayed put. The alpha wouldn't let go of his three most prized bargaining chips. He leaned across to inspect Nick's wounds. "They're not short range wounds and in muscle only. Good shots though."

I realised he was right there. When Antonio had been shot from less than a metre away it'd gone right through him. Nick still had them in him, sticking out, so they must have been a distance away.

I had to go upstairs with Reece to help with the babies, the next round of baby duty taking over my fear for Nick, and focus on caring for them. Again Daniella vanished when we needed her into the laundry to wash another load. I felt a bit angry then, a bit resentful, but they were my babies. Not hers. She didn't have to help. It just would have helped right now.

Reece headed downstairs to check on Nick and when he returned, just as I was dressing the last of the three, he sighed.

"Bad?" Panic flared up, Lily's eyes widened at my expression, but he shook his head.

"Just that you're to stay up here for now. With the babies. Get a nap. Nick doesn't relax when you're watching him in pain and they're some big ass muscles he's got to relax before they pull them out."

I stiffened and he held up his hands. "Hey, come on, it's true. I'd freak out if Daniella was hurt. Get some rest, we'll need it for whatever Jeremy wants us to do."

Much as he annoyed me, he was right. I sighed and nodded.

"Daniella okay? She keeps vanishing when the babies appear."

"She's got ..." He hesitated. "Well, she can't stand looking at any baby. It isn't personal. Don't take it that way, please, just that she can't do it. Can't even wash their clothing, I do that for her."

"She hates babies that much?"

"Hate and love are close than you'd know with her." He didn't seem to want to say any more so I let him leave, didn't probe deeper, my own curiosity provoked.

But that wasn't important right now. I was bewildered by this. Was the alpha at Stonehaven then? Had he killed the workers? But what did he want? Elena? Me? Both of us? Would he return Matt and Logan in exchange for us? I suspected he would.

I got my answer when I went to open the laptop and to email Pav and Vi about what'd happened. There was a strange name there from a person who'd sent it half an hour ago. Aaron Monsanto.

_'Elizabeth, _

_You've earned your freedom and I offer it by my side. So long as your pack doesn't approach Stonehaven, there'll be no more bloodshed, and we'll leave peacefully in twenty four hours, with or without you, taking whatever captives are left._

_Come to the border between Stonehaven and your property, approach peacefully on your own, and we'll return Matt and Logan. We'll also not target any of your children as long as they live and remain within your territory. Call me and I will ensure that they meet you at the border._

_Elena is offered the same exchange with her daughter. _

_Fail to come and I will leave with the children. Come with the North American pack and there will be bloodshed. Your pack may fight with teeth and claws but mine also has alternative forms of combat and are not ashamed to use both. _

_My phone number is …_

_Aaron Monsanto, Alpha of the South American pack.'_

Aaron. Such a simple, common, everyday name, it almost didn't seem to match him. He should have been some evil sounding name. His last name was much more evil sounding to me, as I knew about the company Monsanto, but I doubted it was connected.

When was he the South American pack? When did that happen? I thought he was a 'rogue' pack. It almost sounded like he'd given up on trying to conquer North America and had his eyes set on somewhere else instead.

I sat back, staring at the email, frozen. Stunned by how polite it was. How straight forward. I go there, he sends Matt and Logan back. And what if I could get him to send Kate back as well?

I didn't want to go. But at the same time, I knew I had to. It was the only way to get close enough to rip his balls off him and feed them to him. I shoved my phone into my pocket, slipped downstairs into the kitchen, and made sure the baby monitor was on the counter. Nick would hate this. I wondered if he'd realise what I was up to, that strange connection between us probably going to rear up at the worst time, but that just made me move faster.

I slid outside and slipped away into the forest. And the further I walked, the more I separated myself from my pack, the more terrified I felt. Oh sure, I wanted revenge, but I liked them. Their company. Their support. Their teeth.

I started the phone call when I was out of their hearing range.

"Elizabeth."

I didn't ask how he'd know it was me. Or how he'd gotten my email to begin with. "Bring them to the border."

"How far are you?"

"Twenty minutes. Fifteen." I decided I'd jog part of the way. Sooner we got them, the better. "If I don't see them, I don't come across." Okay, maybe I didn't have choice in that, but I said it anyway. "If I don't see them, it proves you're a snake. A coward."

He growled lowly and the phone was moved away from his head a moment. Then it was returned, "I have no desire to babysit a pair of annoying children, Elizabeth, I'd much prefer your company. My men will meet you. Be peaceful."

Then he hung up.

I started to jog, my legs and chest trembling, wondering what the hell I'd gotten myself into with this. Should I have told Jeremy? What if they could tell? When I felt the phone vibrate again I stared at it. Nick was calling. Damn, he really could move fast. I rejected the call and kept going. Reece called. Jeremy called three times. I finally turned it off and pushed it into a pocket. I was running out of time for this, they'd be on my trail within seconds. I had five minutes, tops.

They waited for me at the border. Men in uniforms that reminded me of swat team uniforms, guns in hand, emotionless faces waiting with the two boys in front of them. So professional, compared to the alpha's usual mob, so damn scary. Most did have crossbows, some had full on guns, and was that a fucking grenade? No. It was a water bottle. I was starting to panic a little too much.

"They've discovered I'm missing. They will be not far behind." I informed them, holding up the phone. One of the men, or was it a woman?, took it and smashed it into a tree. Impressive but it wouldn't change it. "Well, hand over the boys."

"Come this side, and we'll leave them to be found." It was a woman. I had expected all his lackys to be men. "And we'll back off. The agreement still remains. We don't enter that land and they don't enter ours. We only shoot if they do or if you attempt to run with them."

"I'll put them safely against a tree then."

When this seemed acceptable, both shaking boys were shoved at me, and I had to carefully lead them to a tree, sit them down, making sure I remained in the sight of the 'swat' team people. I murmured some comforting words, I hoped they were anyway, to Logan and Matt, both of them so frightened that they could just stammer, their teeth chattering against the fabric gagging them.

I stepped into the other side and was escorted away, hands bound behind my back with the skill of a professional, shoved ahead fast as I was hurried away.

They spoke to someone on a radio, some sort of confirmation that they'd gotten 'her', and I heard the order to leave once they'd delivered me. Leave? What the hell?

The look on the alpha's face, when I was shoved out of the clearing and onto the driveway in front of Stonehaven, was one of pure triumph. He had his men, who were not half as professional as these ones, nor as confidant with their weapons, take me from the more professional swat guys and girls. Once I was delivered they were gone, driving away, leaving me there with just a handful of guards.

Maybe they were going to watch the boundaries? I had no clue.

The alpha stepped closer, stroking my face, and looked angry when I flinched and pulled back, nearly knocking the human over in my haste to avoid his hand. A second and third hurried to grab me, holding me steady, as he stepped closer. Personal space vanished.

"You came here."

"Yes."

"You agreed to join me. Be my mate." He snapped. Grabbed my jaw, trying to kiss me, and I bit his lip so hard that he yelped and backed off.

"I didn't agree to being touched. That isn't happening, Aaron. I'm not here to be touched or to join you."

He growled and slapped me hard. Clearly he'd been hoping I'd drop to my knees and submit. Not happening. Not even close. A hand grabbed my breast and squeezed so hard that tears pricked at my eyes. Tears that seemed to do something to him, make him breathe a little harder, blood pump a bit faster. My pain was turning him on.

"I offered you freedom. A partnership. You won't accept it?"

"Not if it means that you're going to try and rape me with that tiny thing." And to rip his balls off. But I didn't tell him that. I couldn't act nice though. Couldn't pretend I wanted him. "I've had better sex with my mate."

That same rage and humiliation burnt into his face. But on some level he wanted me to make him angry, wanted an excuse, wanted to hurt me. I was pinned against the humans, his hand going down my jeans, pushing against my bare skin. He jerked his head towards the building. "Take her down into the basement and make her a bit more tender for me."

I was dragged down, kicking and struggling, and thrown onto the ground of the basement. Feet kicked at me, catching my body, my bound arms making it difficult to block or avoid the boots, until he ordered them to stop.

"Let's leave her to think about it. Beating and rape or being respected and treated well." He ordered and they moved upstairs, leaving me lying there dazed, blood dripping from my nose and split lip.

Okay, so coming here, not the best choice. I had to admit that was a bit silly. But they'd shot Nick and taken the kids. What was I supposed to do? Sit in my room and wait?

"Where's the proof you're leaving the country?" I asked when he came back, trying to sit up.

"Get the tickets and passports." The alpha ordered. Three minutes later, he held them in my face, a bunch of fake passports and some genuine tickets to some country south. "Will you submit?"

"Sure, without sex."

"Stand her up."

They stood me up. He moved closer, slowly, a knife in his hand. "I could rape you any time I wanted now. I'm giving you the choice, pet, giving you freedom. If you suck off me and each of these men while your arms are tied and don't fight, I won't hurt you. From then on, you'll be mine exclusively."

He was undoing his pants. They all were. Expecting me to behave, maybe, thinking they'd beaten me enough. And instead I fought. I slammed my shoulder into one of the men's faces, knocking him over, before swinging around and kicking hard another man. Head hit concrete, there was a sickening crack, and he collapsed, unconscious.

A gun was pointed at me, suddenly, from one of the men. He was shaking, glancing down at the other man, and just as his finger started to squeeze...the alpha snapped his neck.

"No one kills this one. Does everyone understand?"

A nod, their faces going white, backing off.

"Still won't submit?"

"No." I felt fear when I saw that was exactly the answer he wanted. Saw exactly what he wanted. I doubted he'd really expected me to let him at all, suddenly, seeing that he liked this. I had to change how I fought him. Clayton's training in fighting was useful, sure, but this wasn't the way I was going to win this one.

"Pull up your pants and hold her shoulders down." The alpha ordered, as he moved to stand over me, before kneeling. I was held down, the three remaining concious men having to struggle to do it, as he moved right up against me.

"I promised I'd do this, didn't I? To give you a new one? Don't you remember?" His hands were zipping his fly down, sliding his pants down his legs. "Only you tricked me..." He stripped my pants down my legs, till they were around my knees, so much rage and humiliation on his face as he lowered himself on top of me, legs over one shoulder, his nostrils flaring. "...and now I have to remind you what you owe me. Make sure I get to keep it this time. Did you know you're..." He pushed himself inside me with a groan. "...more fertile right now? Internet. Should tell your pack to try it."

"Coward." I gasped, eyes shutting as he started to use me, trying to block out the feeling of it. "Can't even do it with me free. You only get off on a tied up woman."

He ignored me, teeth tearing at my neck as he raped me again, trying to get me to cry or struggle. I did neither, staring up at him, face blank, as if I was just waiting for him to finish. Elena was right. This was just about power. He could do it as much as he liked and he'd still be weaker than me.

"You can still come back to me, Pet, still be mine. You're stronger now. The only one who lasted. The one that'll give me a son that is _strong_, not a pathetic wimp." He panted, driving himself deep, trying to avoid the challenge in my eyes. "No leash. No collar. Bear my children and you'll be honoured above all else in the pack. Like a queen. No one else will get you."

He struggled. My eyes were locked into his, challenging him even as he tried to hurt me in the worst possible way, as he was just slapping me. I could feel it softening and shrinking inside me. Feel his body struggle to keep it up, even with my 'bitch in heat' scent, his growl in his throat. He couldn't do it while I was staring at him. Couldn't cover my face because then I'd have won the challenge. Teeth tore at my shoulder again, drawing blood, and that seemed to help him keep it up, his teeth and hands beating me, but all I did was flinch and then stare up at him. He wanted tears, and struggles, and pleas, he wanted submissive. It shrunk again, softening, his body struggling to keep up when I wasn't doing what he wanted.

"Turn her over."

I was twisted around by the human, ropes tightening, bringing my hands closer together. One small victory for me. He bent over me and continued, pushing into me from behind, hips slamming against mine in a desperate attempt to hurt me. Oh, it hurt, of course it did, but when I twisted my head to challenge him again, when my eyes locked into his, I won again. His body responded exactly how he didn't want it to. So he had two choices, do what his body wanted, which was to stop, or let me win that as well.

"If you don't let me finish," He hissed, hands digging into my hips, trying to push himself as deep as he could. "I might have to finish with the girl."

He meant Kate. Of course he meant her. Rage threatened to take away my control, rage at the idea that he'd even toy with that idea, but I forced it down. He wanted me. He wanted _me_ because I was insulting him. She was a threat and nothing more.

"So hurry up and finish." I yawned. "Can't you even get it in deeper? Jeremy's great like that."

I may as well have said he had a small penis. The look on his face was priceless, almost enough to take away the horror I'd crammed into a tiny spot in the back of my mind at what was going on, the alpha's own power being threatened. He couldn't take it any more, couldn't have me staring at him, and with a growl he covered my mouth, hand clamping on it, twisting my head away from his. I won, in other words. He couldn't do it if I was looking at him or able to comment.

He still struggled though. Suddenly he bent down, voice in my ear, a different kind of mockery this time. "Do you remember, Elizabeth? All those months ago, when you were just an innocent girl, how I bent you down on the concrete like this and was your first? Do you remember it?"

I did, suddenly, remembering the horror, the fear, whatever drugs in the drink he'd given me not enough to send me fully out. Being dragged out, thrown on the ground, half in a puddle. The pain of it. Horror, at what was happening, at the way Nick had abandoned me to be raped in a New York ally. But he wasn't my first. Nick had been. He'd just assumed it because I bled.

Now, months later, this seemed to turn him on better than anything else, this memory he had of me. He bent over me more, the damp basement smelling a little like the ally way, the sound of his body slapping against mine echoing around it like it had that night.

"Go get the kid and bring her here. Strip her and bring her on a leash." He ordered to the human, who's own face whitened. The alpha growled, "Go!" and the man left us alone. The alpha bent low over me, his hips slamming hard into mine, hand still over my mouth. I felt my mind trying to leave my body as he raped me but refused. Power. I had to keep it. Had to really hurt him when he was done.

His breath hitched, body starting to climax, his hand dropping from my mouth as his hips kept driving him in and out of me.

"Nick was my first. I didn't even know you'd started in the ally." I struggled to speak clearly, speak in one sentence, but somehow I got it out, voice steady, even if I had to speak slow, ignore the sense of my body invaded by his smell, his unwelcome fluids. With a growl he got off me, aiming a hard kick at me. I hadn't been much fun for him. He'd only _just_ managed to get off. He stood and tugged his pants up, breathing hard, clearly not satisfied. He was waiting for Kate now. A minute ticked by, until I could speak, his back turned to me as he tried to drink the beer he'd left there, his arms shaking.

"We'll see if Katherine feels the same way when I'm _her_ first, won't we?" He spat at me, aiming a kick for between my legs. "Someone who hasn't been fucked by the entire damn pack."

Beer? Alcohol. Increased rage. Decreased libido. Perfect before Kate got here. If I insulted him enough, he'd have to do it again to me. Silly pride. I lay there, still bent over, as he drank it. Drank a second one. Felt the fluids dribbling down my legs and onto my jeans. Only when he'd finished drowning the second beer did I aim for that weakness in him.

"You should see the penis that created her. Clayton... well, he doesn't need a little girl to feel large." Oh, _that_ insulted him, and I felt his boot sink back into my side. Something cracked in my ribcage at that but I ignored that, I tried to ignore the feeling of semen inside me, ignore the fear that he was right about the fertility and that it would do what he wanted, focusing on his pride, his weakness, and ripping it apart before Kate got here. "Maybe you should ask him for some tips on that position you struggled with. Or how to make yours work better."

He came to kick again, but froze, eyes on the doorway. My eyes followed his to see what had stopped him.

Clayton leaned there, arms crossed, watching the two of us. He looked like he'd been there a while but I doubted it, he wouldn't have stood to one side while it happened. He drawled, so casual, so easy mannered,"Thank you darling," before his eyes snapped up to the man and suddenly he wasn't so relaxed. He stood up a little straighter. "Some human mentioned you wanted to rape my daughter?"

The alpha literally vanished, the beer shattering all over the floor, the foul smell splashing everywhere, as if he knew that without his humans and guns, he was no match for Clayton. I didn't have time to wonder how or where he'd vanished to, only to give him credit for knowing it was time to run, he at least knew when to forfeit pride for survival. Maybe that was how he'd survived so long.

Clayton didn't give chase. He knelt down, the only sign of his own rage being the way the veins and tendons in his neck throbbed, his lips pressed tightly together. The bound arms were quickly freed with his start and my assistance once I could move, his nostrils flaring. He could smell it, what he'd just been too late to stop, the man had insulted his brother's mate again. He _wanted_ to chase him. He _wanted_ to do what his instinct told him to do.

Instead, he helped me get out of the ropes, helped me stand, and checked where I'd been kicked.

"You better go follow that human." I muttered, trying to not feel ashamed or dirty, trying to ignore the slipperiness down there. I rubbed my wrists, avoiding his gaze.

"Believe me, Elena objected to that one very strongly when she heard him trying. Took care of that. Do you want to chase him like this or give chase as a wolf?"

I realised why he hadn't given chase. This was my fight, as far as Clayton was concerned, and he was only going to step in when I couldn't fight or chose to step back. But before I worried about the alpha... "Wolf, then I'll change back. Let's hunt him down." The idea of a hunt sent ripples of excitement throughout me. It felt right. "How's Nick?" He seemed to forever be getting injured. Whatever wonderful brilliant fantastic things he was... he was not a fighter.

"Back to his usual self. Always bouncing back from injury. I'll keep him going in circles while you change back then. Mind if I change in here?"

"Fine by me." When he nodded, we turned our backs to each other and stripped, throwing clothes aside. I knelt down and concentrated. With all the rage, and humiliation, and fear, and hurt that I'd hidden away till now, I got it going fast, the agony of it nothing compared to what I was feeling about what that man had done twice now. Nothing. Tested paws, wriggled body, flipped around a bit, and then I was ready to join Clayton in the hallway.

The two of us raced outside, Clayton leading, using the door instead of the second story window. The alpha may have had that advantage but he only had two legs.

We traced his path, his frantic run to the car, where he'd sat in it for a while only to find it mysteriously not working all of a sudden, then to the other vehicles. One moved thirty metres before it gave up and there his track was again, running for the road.

Clayton moved ahead of me now, his faster sprint taking advantage, a low growl and glance back trying to tell me what he wanted me to do. He was in charge now, until it was my turn to fight, and I slowed down and backed off into the trees. If I was right, he was going to turn the alpha back this direction and we'd herd him into the forest instead.

I was right. I heard the alpha's feet, light, fast on the ground as he returned into this direction, on the driveway, probably hoping to get into the house again and find a weapon or change.

He found me instead, leaping out from the bush, my teeth snapping and finding fabric, air, then his wrist. I grabbed it and, without putting too much pressure into to it, whirled him around so hard that he skidded into the bush. I didn't break his skin, didn't try and break the bone, but I could smell his panic, his assumption that I'd kill him now. Into the forest he went just as we'd wanted, Clayton trotting out of the forest casually and going to stand beside me, head raised, ears in the alpha's direction. Gave him a while. Then we gave chase.

We herded him into the deeper part of the forests away from roads and away from people. It took him some time to think, to breathe, to see what was going on, and when he did he finally decided to whirl around, clearly intending on fending us off as best he could. We circled him, teeth bared, low growls, fur raised. As Clayton went to leap on him, I saw it. Saw the flash of silver heading for Clayton's light underbelly.

With a mental apology to Clayton, I twisted and, yanking at Clayton's leg, sending him off balance and throwing him to the ground. He turned on me, just a moment, but I was already twisting out of the reach of the blade, twisting with more agility than the alpha had, even managing to get under his legs and throw him off balance for a fraction.

It was all Clayton needed. As the alpha staggered, twisting around to follow me, trying to slash at me, Clayton was slinking up behind him and with a quick tug at his pant, had him falling forward into the dirt. Teeth grabbed the wrist of the knife hand, forcing him to release it ,and I knocked it out of his way. Clayton pinned him down, growling, teeth around his neck. Eyes fixed in mine. This was when I was supposed to go change.

I backed off, only to try and leap forward as I saw the other arm twist around awkwardly with a weapon. Another knife, twisted around to find Clayton's side, one I hadn't seen, and he yelped, jumping back, the knife caught in his ruff. He scratched at it, knocking it out, only the slightest trickle of blood coming off the knife.

A growl at me, to go, to change, and he was again circling the alpha, wariness mixing with his refusal to back down.

I backed off.

I changed, and came back into the clearing. The alpha was gone. Clayton was lying still, on his side, only a tiny amount of blood...but I couldn't hear his heartbeat.


	20. Consequences

I did what anyone would have done. I panicked and I forgot the ass hole. Forgot about him, forgot to care about the danger of him being around, just ran to the big wolf and tried to shake him. Wake him.

Was it a spell? Did that matter?

I rushed at the still body, felt the warmth starting to fade under the golden fur, and knew I had to try it. I hadn't done any sort of first aid for a long time, though I used to love reading the books, and it was impossible to know just how the hell to do CPR on a wolf anyway. Did that stop me? Hell no. Even the awful smell of a wolf's mouth didn't stop me. I yanked him so that he was lying perfectly on his side, heart up, paws floppy, not seeing an injury, not seeing anything wrong with him at all, and felt for where I knew his heart was. Where I'd last heard it. Everything was so still. He felt so _empty_.

What was it? One, two, thee, for, five, cover the nostrils, blow into the mouth... that wasn't easy, he had a huge mouth, a huge stinking mouth, and I wrapped my jacket around the base of it in an attempt to keep the air going in rather than out. No, that was not going to work, he was not human and his mouth was too big- air kept escaping. The tongue was blocking it too. I yanked it forward and closed his mouth. He had a nose. A -compared to his mouth- small nose that was going to be easier to keep air in.

I blew, five times, and tried to push down on the heart. Get it moving again. Get his heart going again. Nothing, and so I tried again, using the nose, finding it kept the air inside so long as I kept his mouth shut. Kept going, breathing for him, moving his heart for him, I couldn't give up, couldn't just let him die out here on his own. Elena, Nick, Jeremy, I knew how it'd be for them, how fucking terrible... and for me, because I had a brother in this strange man, a brother that'd brought my nephew out and helped him embrace the bite.

A minute into it I heard Elena, behind me, heard her skid to a halt, heard a low groan like she'd been hurt, her knees hitting the ground as she started to breathe fast, gasping for air, sobs suffocating her. She knew. A small voice beside her spoke, Kate's voice, not understanding what was wrong. What I was doing. What was going on.

I ignored her, ignored her hand trying to pull me away, growling at her. She backed off and I kept trying. It took Elena another full minute, though it felt like hours, before she suddenly understood what I was doing. Elena slid beside me, taking over the heart, pushing it down. She'd figured out what I was trying to do and she could push it deeper than I could. Kate knelt between us, her small hands touching her father, trying to understand. Like Matt must have done when he found his mother.

She'd started to cry, started to realise he was wrong, even if she couldn't connect death to him.

Then he breathed. His heart suddenly started to pound, so hard, so fast, lungs filling with air, his legs twitching, suddenly no longer empty but full and panicked and scared. I'd never smelt fear in Clayton before but I did now, and felt him launch himself at me, teeth going for my neck, eyes wild with fear.

Elena bowled into his side, shoving him off me, yanking Kate close.

He stood there, shaking, blue eyes wide, the snarl fading as he seemed to regain his senses. Then he collapsed onto the ground and started to change.

I turned and so did Kate, but Elena couldn't seem to bring herself to stop looking, to stop watching, to turn her back on him for a second. She was still crying, still shaking, and she sat there on her knees, arm around Kate.

"There have been too many fucking close calls." Clayton swore, standing up, his legs shaking. He knelt beside her, grabbing her and Kate in a hug together, burying his head in Elena's hair. "Too many fucki-" He hesitated. "Sorry, Elena. Kate, don't say that word. Daddy's just upset."

Elena didn't seem to notice or care how much he swore. She clung onto him, shaking, all pretence of strength or confidence gone. I'd never seen her like this. It showed just how much the two of them were connected, because he was shaking too, not caring if I was there or not while he held her and Kate.

I felt dirty. Felt like I was intruding, with that smell on me, that asshole's smell, so I backed off, standing, and walked the short distance to one of the rivers. I sat in the water, washing the dirt and shit off me, my own legs unsteady. What I'd been thinking by coming here alone, I didn't know, but I knew I'd made the wrong decision. And I'd nearly killed Clayton in the process. Guilt wracked me. Shame. It could have been prevented. Sure, I'd screwed with his mind while he was trying to fuck me, and I'd even destroyed his libido temporarily, but... I'd lost more than him in this. Lying to Nick, not telling Jeremy what I should have told him, getting into that position where he'd been able to rape me because I let them tie up my arms, and bringing Clayton back to life wasn't going to make up for the fuck ups I'd done. The rash _stupid_ fuck ups.

Someone waded in beside me, ignoring their clothing, and flopped beside me with a soft grunt of pain.

"I want a divorce." Nick muttered. He was trying to kid but it just hurt more.

"I..."

"You screwed up. Gave me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry."

"Everyone screws up. You were just overdue for it. Come here." Nick pulled me into his lap, ignoring the wound there, seeming to not care that he was getting his 'dry clean only' clothing soaking wet or not. "I don't want a divorce. Ever. You saved Clay."

"I screwed up more than I did good."

"True." His fingers stroked my side, splashing me a little, finding patches of tender skin where I'd been kicked. I felt his rage, his anger, he didn't hide it, or try and make his body relax or look happy, but he refused to let me go either. "But you got hurt and you didn't deserve that."

"How did you... everyone?"

"You left me the email to find. Didn't you?" He blinked at me, confused suddenly.

I did what? I blinked then realised what he meant. I had, without thinking, left the laptop open. Email still on the screen. And with the babies due to cry within the next five or ten minutes, the screen saver being on a fifteen minute window... I'd left him the email to find. Maybe not consciously but I knew the babies routine well enough and knew how long that screen saver took to show up.

"I guess I did. I … thought I was saving them. I guess I thought I was saving the day and backup was behind me." I laughed, a dry humourless laugh, and when he pulled me against his chest, didn't resist. Yep, that'd been mad. I kept mocking them for their ego and their pride and yet there I was, trotting off into a forest, to do battle with some asshole who had guns and crossbows and apparently a small army that resembled a _swat team_. That made no sense. "I was an idio-"

"If you keep beating yourself up, darling, I'll have to kick you." Clayton prodded my head from behind, limping in to sit in the water beside us, half dressed. He groaned softly as the water closed around him. "Clothing's on the bank. You saved my life, you know."

"I... I just did what my instincts said to do." I muttered. Flushed. I didn't feel like I deserved his praise. "It's my fault you were left alone. I thought I could take him alone."

"So did I, remember. We both thought he was easy."

"How did you ...I was gone just a few minutes..."

Clayton shrugged. He rubbed his head. "Last I remember, I'm holding him down, then suddenly I'm standing over my own body and seeing weird shit. Flashes. Then I'm back in it, hurting like hell, and so instinct kicks in, attack the person nearest. Elena probably saved _your_ life."

"Is she okay?" I stared at him. He looked like he had barely a scratch on him. It made no sense, now that I was calming down, made no sense that he'd been dead when he'd been virtually uninjured. The only scratch on him was where the tip of the knife had dug into his ruff. Wolves had so much fur and skin around there that it'd been a stupid place for the man to try and stab. Was it poison? If it was that, he'd be dying again. I caught sight of one of his feet, burnt and blistered, charcoal, which explained why he'd come to sit in the water with us. Feathery burns were across his chest as well, fine ones, just slightly red. "Are you okay?"

"Jeremy's with her and Kate. I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Amar's coming with Reece."

"I'm so-"

"Yeah, I know. We both messed up. Both got hurt."

Nick squeezed me, kissing my neck gently, and I stood up, helping him get up and dressed with him keeping watch. Not that there was much he could have done. Clayton remained in the water, keeping the burn in it, his breathing still fast, splashing the water up across the feathery one on his chest.

Jeremy, Elena and Kate found us. He took me aside and I got told off again. No rage, no anger, just disappointment in his face. I'd had twenty four hours, he reminded me, and I should have spoken to him. Should have consulted him first. He was my alpha now and I had to think about everyone. The worst part was the disappointment in his eyes, like he'd expected better and I'd let him down. He stroked my arm after, trying to comfort me, but I knew he was right. Asked me if I was injured and I shook my head. Not in any way he had to worry about. I didn't ever want to get that look in his eyes again, _ever_. It was worse than any beating.

Nick was waiting when he was done and Amar was there now, Reece nearby, being examined. When I asked about the babies, Nick reassured me that Paige and Lucas had shown up to visit Elena and see the babies, apparently a visit that I'd been told about but must have forgotten in the exhaustion of the past month.

"You all right?" I tugged his wet shirt open, checking, the bandages still steady and where they were supposed to be.

"Just a bit sore. Won't even scar, apparently, just hurt till they recover. I'll be back on you in no time." He grinned, winking, but the grin faltered when I flinched away from one of his hands that'd come up behind my pants. "Anne?"

Maybe he hadn't known. Maybe he hadn't felt it because it hadn't hurt like the last time. I shrugged and turned away, both relieved and sad, I couldn't tell him. Still one part of me had wished he'd known about it this time too. Wished he could know without me having to say it out loud. I'd tell him another time.

"It makes no sense." Amar was shaking his head, as he treated Clayton beside the river. "It's like you've been shocked with electricity."

"Tazar?" Elena suggested, standing beside Clayton, her legs brushing against him.

"No, much worse, different markings. They are like lightning burns and it stopped his heart. Anne," He turned to me, "Did you see or hear lightning?"

I shook my head. "Not even a flash."

"It was strange, Jer. I was watching him while I was out of my body. He just vanished. Into thin air. I don't know what to make of it."

"It might have been a dream." Jeremy suggested, softly. He didn't seem convinced himself. "As you died. Your brain firing up. I'll ask Jamie if she knows more about out of body deaths."

"I don't think it was a dream." Clayton said, softer, resting against Elena's thigh as his foot was bandaged up. "It was pretty damn real."

"He vanished in the basement." I said, suddenly, remembering. "I ...I guess I didn't think about it. Just ...he vanished."

Clayton's head swung up to me and he blinked. "I forgot about that. He did, didn't he? Standing there one second, gone the next. I was a little angry, didn't care at the time."

"Why?" Nick blinked at him, then back at me, that same confusion.

Elena froze, somewhat. She must have smelt it on me, knew as well as Clayton what'd happened, but by the time Nick had shown up I'd washed as much of it off as I could. I shook my head at her and Clayton a fraction- I'd have to tell him later.

"Look at the bruises on her." Clayton answered after a pause. I blinked and went to stare at my reflection in the moving water.

I hadn't even had time to think about that, to remember the beating, it getting drowned out by everything else. There were some pretty spectacular looking bruises there. Nick frowned deeper. "I know but-"

"Time to get back." Jeremy called, slamming the phone shut a bit too hard. "I'll help Clayton. Reece has both cars waiting."

I went over what'd happened, skipping the rape, when we got back to Forestwatch. The kids were upstairs in the nursery with the babies, so upset and shaken that they'd quite willingly agreed to spend the rest of the day there, maybe knowing it was the safest and most carefully guarded room. Jeremy didn't show any confusion but everyone else did, except for Elena. A mutt, we understood, even one that called himself alpha. But something had changed. Now there was a new kind of human involved, one professionally trained, wearing professional armour, and there was one, potentially two, cases of the alpha vanishing into thin air. Not to mention the attack on Clayton that'd left a few burns and killed him but had no signs of it being a werewolf attack.

It made no sense.

Jeremy explained to me briefly what'd happened while I was gone. Nick had gone upstairs to rescue me from having to change three babies alone, found the email, and almost busted open the stitches getting down the stairs again with it. I was chased to the fence, just missed apparently, and they found Matt and Logan sitting there bound up and waiting instead. They did go for Stonehaven and instead of finding scary 'swat people' with their weapons, no one was guarding the property anymore, no attacks, just a group of the unprofessional and jumpy human guards. Elena had gone upstairs for Kate, Clayton went downstairs, the others dealt with the humans before any more weapons could go off. It had been easy, just bluffing on the part of the alpha, and it disgusted me to think how disposable his 'allies' were to him.

He'd called the company building Stonehaven, about the 'chemical spraying' and they were confused. They'd called the new number to let us know that Stonehaven was complete and we could move back in. No one had told him to stay away for a week. That meant that we were officially back in Stonehaven one we'd cleaned it up.

I kept avoiding Nick, his touch, his kisses, and he got more upset, even more so when I struggled to touch the babies even. I felt like filth. Like a whore. Elena had to pull me aside when I went outside for fresh air.

"You need to tell him."

"What, that it happened again?"

"What is it called, Anne?"

I gritted my teeth. Last time I felt like I could have done nothing to prevent it. This time I felt guilty. Like it was my fault. And it was. I'd made the choice to go there. I shook my head, refusing to say it, refusing to call it rape when I felt responsible for it. "I'll tell Nick when I can."

"No, now." Elena's hand closed around my arm. She glanced back through the window at where Nick sat, holding one of the babies, his eyes locked onto us.

I turned my back on him and slid down to sit on the grass, out of his sight, tugging my knees up to my chest. I didn't _want_ this conversation. I didn't want to talk. She was always so quick to jump at me, ask me these things, talk to me, and it pissed me off right now. Like she wanted to get me _before_ I could go into denial.

"And tell him what, that I let them tie me up, let them take me to the alpha, knowing what he wanted, and then realised that I couldn't control it after all?" I growled. "He'll just be upset. Angry."

"Did you go there wanting to be raped?"

"I knew what he wanted. I knew and I let them tie me up."

"But did you want to be raped? Did you want him to have sex with you?" She kept pushing, keeping her grip firmly on me.

"Of course I didn't fucking want that. What kind of stupid question is that?" Elena flinched at my tone, I'd never ever been this angry since coming here, but I couldn't stop it. Couldn't control the anger. "But I still let me tie them up. Subconsciously..."

"Argh." Elena growled. "Your subconscious hadn't got anything to do with this and if it did, it'd assume you could break out of the ropes again. Like every other time he captures you, when you manage to wriggle free. This time you didn't. This time you couldn't escape. You tried, didn't you?"

"I couldn't move my arms. They'd tied them ...differently. I couldn't get loose."

"Clayton said that the bindings were professional. Wire in the rope. Cuffs around your wrists and upper arms. Even he struggled to get them off you and I know he's _not_ an amateur with bindings." Elena's lip quirked a moment, but just a moment, the joke lost on me at that moment.

"The swat people did it." I was relaxing, slowing down, anger fading. They were worse than I'd realised. I'd thought it was just ropes. "I ...I thought I could escape again. Wanted to kill him. He kept offering to let me free if I ...if I agreed, and I didn't. I taunted him."

"It was _rape_, Anne. You didn't consent." She sighed, flopping down beside me. "It's ..."

"Power. I know. I just screwed up so badly."

"Power, yes, and he wanted to humiliate you like we did to him. It happens. That doesn't mean you're responsible for his actions."

"I have to kill him now. I can't let him keep doing this." I dropped my forehead onto my knees, shuddering.

"Are you going to tell Nick now?" She didn't respond to my desire to kill, didn't even look at me then. I wasn't sure if I really meant it either.

I didn't want to tell Nick. I didn't want to hurt him or upset him. But I nodded. If he'd been hurt I'd want to know. I heard her get up to leave. "Elena?"

Elena stopped and looked down.

"Is Clayton all right?"

"In bed. Doctor's orders. He'll be bouncing off the walls by tomorrow night. Thankyou for thinking quickly." She leaned down to squeeze my shoulder, a warm smile. "I ...I don't know if I'd have been able to think that rationally without you there."

She went to get Nick and I waited, dreading it, dreading the smell of him, dreading the sound of him, for the first time wanting to avoid him. When he flopped beside me, leaning against me, I stiffened. Nick hesitated and leaned away.

"Nick..."

"I was kidding about the divorce, ya know."

"He raped me again."

Nick didn't react with violence or with anger. He just sat there, arms crossed over his bent legs, eyes on the grass. Then, "You all right?"

I shook my head. I didn't hurt, I didn't bleed, no injuries like the last time. Somehow that made it worse. I hurt inside. He slowly wrapped his arm around me, so careful to not scare me, and this time I didn't resist or pull away.

We sat there a while, his heart rate speeding, body frozen, until he said finally, softly, "I thought Clayton was over-reacting a bit over the bruises."

"He found me. Untied me."

"It wasn't your fault. No-" He saw my mouth open, saw the flare of argument that he was used to. "-No matter what you're going to say, no man should do that kind of thing without permission. You didn't give it. And don't say sorry either." Nick frowned. "I … I wish I knew what to say."

"Just don't hate me."

"Hate you?" He blinked and before I knew it, I was back in his lap, his mouth against mine, kissing me hard, hands cupping my face. "I don't hate _you_. Fuck. Fuck..." He stood up, carefully sitting me back down, and walked as calmly as he could towards the axe. I watched him as he dismantled the fence, the trees, the bushes, cutting off part of a rose, sinking it into the woodpile, so quiet, not swearing, but slamming it so hard that his arms shook with the force. Clayton hurried out, hobbling, ignoring Elena's call. He went over to him, I could hear his voice, but Nick shook his head, throwing the axe at the ground, before running into the woods, Clayton close behind as fast as he could move.

That was what I didn't want. More than anything. I hadn't wanted to upset him. Bring him into this, into how fucked up it was, make him suffer for it. It wasn't fair. I stood up and headed inside, for bed, ignoring dinner or the calls for me to come back.

The next morning, Jeremy called everyone into the living room, and we all flopped around the room, kids in the den, babies in their cot in the dining room just in sight of us, Nick and Clayton back from whatever they'd been doing in the forest. He seemed calmer now, keeping one hand on me at any time, and right now he'd dragged me between his legs and held me there, Nick's arms and legs holding me until I gave in and relaxed against him.

The practical side of the problem helped us relax. Jeremy started to discuss what was strange and what to do, he had two very attentive listeners in both of us. Very attentive but also _very_ obedient.

He found problems with the mutt's behaviour that made no sense. For one, the operation seemed to have a very organised factor to it, and the mutt had never really been that good with organisation or control. That was obvious to anyone in the pack. No good alpha would have lost such a huge 'pack' to us so quickly, so thoughtlessly. The professional humans also made no sense, nor did the fact that they'd left the property and the town when they'd delivered me. The South American pack kept to themselves. He didn't know them, their names, their locations, nothing. Jeremy was convinced that someone else was running the operation in the background and making him their puppet. The distraction.

The other problem he had was that Paige and Lucas were convinced that either the alpha was using magic, to vanish, to stop Clayton's heart with electricity, or that there was some kind of supernatural support that we hadn't seen. That opened up a whole other kettle of fish.

"Is he hereditary, Clay?" Jeremy asked Clayton who shrugged.

"I always thought so but his smell was always off."

"We may be required to request involvement from the council on this one." Jeremy hesitated, eyes going to Paige, who was sitting beside Elena. "I suspect that's going to be the case now anyway, isn't it?"

Paige shrugged a little. "Not officially, at least not yet, but Savannah will be coming to work with you. I can't until I receive agreement from the council."

He nodded a fraction, eyes going to Lucas. I had no idea what he was, if he was even anything but, "I'll be assisting too."

"We could do with help. This is going into an area we're not as familiar with." Jeremy admitted that last part as he sighed. I could see him going over this again, the pieces not adding up to him. It'd been much more simple when the alpha was 'just a werewolf'.

They started to go over possibilities of what he was or how he'd do it. I shut my eyes and leaned against Nick, listening, his hand stroking my hair slowly.

"What if a sorcerer was bitten?"

"He smelt hereditary." Clayton shook his head.

"Shapeshifter? Could he be pretending to be a werewolf?" Jeremy asked, turning his gaze towards Lucas and Paige.

"After reading into his behaviour last night, I doubt it. We don't know much about them, admittedly, but he was leaving tracks that smelt like werewolf after for three days. It seems likely that he is genuinely that." Paige was thumbing through a file as she spoke.

"A son of a sorcerer? A necromancer? Half-demon is out, it's not passed on to offspring." Lucas was flipping through something of his own. "Or the suggestion that he's being supported by another seems likely as well."

I heard one of the babies, Lily I guessed, start her warning whine and slid up to my feet, Nick helping me, heading into the dining room. We both worked as they talked, discussing possibilities, his arm brushing against mine as much as he could. I felt fear for them. Especially my daughters. This kind of world, where I was assumed to be property and not something people had to be aware of, it wasn't on. Clayton had set his reputation young and that'd more or less protected him and his pack for a long time. I knew that I had to do something like that, had to make it clear to the alpha and to every other damn mutt.

But at the same time, after my disastrous attempt yesterday, I was feeling a little... reluctant. I couldn't just rage off into the sunset and kick ass. I had to stop, think about what the hell I was doing, and maybe even accept help.

I stood there, watching the there of them fall back to sleep after we'd fed them, and Nick stood behind me with his arms wrapped around me. I sighed, leaning back into him, and he rested his chin on the top of my head. There were some nice things about being shorter than your mate. We watched them as they drifted off, one by one.

"You worried about their future?" I said, softly, ignoring the discussions in the living room.

"All the time." Nick muttered. "I thought it'd be easy after you gave birth. Now I keep planning on what to do when one of my girls brings home a mutt. Or a mutt follows her home."

"That could be years from now."

He nodded, swallowed. I suspected what he was thinking probably went a little beyond the usual 'father scaring off the teenage boy' routine.

"I think I need to hunt the alpha down. Make an example of him." I said, softly, and Nick's arms tightened around me. But he didn't argue either. "Not going to run off right now. I'll think it through carefully."

"Talk to Clay. He's better with that than I am. I-" Nick hesitated, leaning across to brush the blanket off Dominic's face, "-am not a fighter like him or my father. Or you. I'd like to be but ..."

"I don't care." I turned around to kiss him, the back of the crib pressing up against my butt, nuzzling against the underside of his neck. It was the truth. He wasn't a fighter. He could fight, sure, and do a good job, but Nick didn't have the same reflexes. I didn't care if he did. "There's more ways to win a battle than muscle."

"So you keep demonstrating." He laughed softly, ducking his head down to bite my ear gently, hands running up my sides. Nick was careful to not touch me too much, not to pin me in, keeping a distance between us. "Can I help? With hunting him down?"

"Keep an eye on it from here and keep me updated? Eyes on my back at all times?"

We heard someone come in and turned to see Clayton standing there, phone in hand, holding it out to Nick. He was white again. White was never a good sign with Clayton. He was either shocked or furious. I suspected, from the way his heart pounded, and the tendons in his neck were raised again, it was probably fury rather than shock. Or maybe a little of both.

"Antonio's got some bad news."

"Dad?"

The look on Clay's face went to Nick's automatically as he and I both heard the words,

"There's a bounty on Anne."

Suddenly I was in the car. I wasn't sure when I'd gotten here. Did I care? Nope. I was again finding the manual gear thing frustrating. The car wasn't moving. It jerked forward an inch then died. Wrench, wrench, wrench.

Whatever plans I'd had about a 'calm hunt' were out the window. Or they would be, if the car started, but it just jerked around and died.

Clayton stood at the open driver's door, arms crossed, but he didn't stop me. He just waited for me to stop killing his car, to calm down, which took me a good hour. I pushed past him and went up to my room instead. I looked it up.

I was in the cell, the photo of me, stark naked and standing there like a caged wild animal. Then another photo of me with Nick. With Clayton. And the last still was of me in the basement earlier today, being raped from behind. He'd addressed it to 'Mutts of the world', that the bounty was well over a million dollars and a guaranteed member of the SAP. The South American Pack. Humans may have thought that it referred to men who liked doggy style, I didn't know or care, but for the actual mutts... it connected me to the Pack, it showed me as a wolf, and showed what they might get away with doing with 'pack women'.

If there was any doubt about my existence, it was gone now. Not only that but to those who wanted to pay extra, he'd offer a soundless video of the rape for a 'better look at her'. Two hundred dollars. I couldn't look away from the photo of me bent over, even if I had been winning at the time, couldn't tear my eyes away from it.

Nick banged on the door, as I stared at it over and over, shock making my teeth chatter and my body shake, struggling to mentally comprehend what I was seeing.

The door cracked, finally, and Nick tore it out of his way, Clayton helping, before he picked up the laptop and threw it out the window, glass exploding all over the place, the laptop falling and breaking on the concrete below. Clayton stood there, a hand keeping me in the seat, till he was convinced I wouldn't move or jump out of it. We stood there, the three of us, Nick shaking. I didn't know if he'd seen it or just heard...

"I've got to hunt him down." I said, finally. My voice was trembling. "I've got to fucking hunt him down right now. This is too far."

No one argued.

"There was an address for your delivery. And you've got his number still in your email. I think there's ways to track phones, isn't there?" Clayton said, finally, lowly. He had his arms crossed.

"Then I've got to go. Before mutts start to crowd in the state."

"You won't be allowed to go alone." Nick leaned against the wall, rubbing his head. "Not ...I won't let you. You can go with Clayton. With one of the magic users. But not alone."

I didn't argue with him. He was right. This was getting beyond my abilities.

"You sure about this?" Clayton's hand lowered to rest on my shoulder. "You won't see your babies for a while. Might be weeks. You won't be able to feed them after."

In other words my breast milk would dry up. I wouldn't be there for my babies when they were so new, so young. But if I didn't ... if I didn't, they'd keep coming. I wasn't an idiot. I remembered how CLayton had got his reputation, Elena's explanation of it, and how well it still worked.

"Clay," I hesitated at that, saying the nickname Nick and Elena used, as if I was waiting for him to scowl at me. He didn't seem to be angry at all. IN fact, it was the opposite, like he relaxed when I used it. Leaned a little closer. Body language a little more open. Like he'd been more tense about me using the formal name than the ones his friends used. "When you attacked that mutt years ago, what did it do? With how mutts saw you?"

He knew what I meant, shoulders squaring a bit. "Damn well didn't come into the state for twenty years, that's what it did."

"Exactly. Far as this werewolf world thinks, right now, all of us are fair game. We're still seen as your property. If the pack goes after him, they'll figure I belong to the pack, and keep showing up hoping to chase me away, or lure me away, or worse. Like a dog trying to piss on a tree or hump a leg. If they think that, they'll assume that extends to all the women here. Including Elena."

Clayton nodded a fraction at that.

"I keep thinking about Nathan. About how he was so screwed up and he thought I could love him."

"The kid that wanted to rape you in the truck?" Nick's head swung up. He frowned.

"Because he thought I was winnable. Property he could steal and make his. He was deluded, thought I'd love him once he'd claimed me, thought I could be claimed. And he won't be the last to hope that, will he? If they think I'm owned by the pack, protected by the pack, treasured by the pack, they'll assume I'm helpless without it. I won't be able to go anywhere and it'll get worse, won't it? Risk my daughters, your daughters, and threaten Elena's credibility as alpha."

"Probably will." Clayton flopped onto our bed and sat there.

"I'm not Nick's property." I ignored Nick's stiffening, as if I'd rejected him. "I'm not something that can be handed around. I'm his _mate_ and the sooner they get that into their thick heads the better." I saw Nick relax again.

We went quiet. This was bigger than the rape, or even the photos, this was literally the point where the mutts would start to watch me. Start to watch Elena. News would spread, that video would spread, and then they'd start to form ideas about the pack. New ideas that'd threaten _more_ than just me. Nick finally left the window and slid the rolling chair over to the bed as he sat down, his hands finding mine, holding them.

"If I hunt this ass hole down and the mutts in this country hear about it, will they try and behave that way?"

"It depends on what you do with him. Make it good and most of them will probably steer clear of you." Clayton took me in, a long slow look, as if he was reading me somehow. "Not all of them. Some might take that as a challenge, might seek you out if you're out of the state, and you might need to keep giving them that message. But I doubt they'd think you're property. They might try and win you for a mate."

"Tough cookies for them. I already found mine." I glanced at Nick, who smiled somewhat, but it was tense, he was struggling to deal with it too. I returned my attention to Nick."Would it protect my girls and help Jeremy or Elena as alpha?"

"It might for a long time." He was nodding slowly. Was that respect there? I wasn't sure.

"Then I've got to go."

"By that logic, Ane, someone should go to show what happens when they mess with Katherine or Logan. With our offspring. He-" Clayton hesitated. Maybe he wasn't keen on getting me upset. "Put photos of Kate up too. Same bounty. Same offer. No videos or photos like yours but …"

"You mean Elena should come?"

"I _can't_ come." Elena's voice came from the doorway and we turned to see her. She wanted to, I could see it, she wanted to rage out the door as much as I did. "The alpha isn't allowed to do a lot of things, no matter how good a fighter they are, and as the alpha in training..."

"It's always the pack protector and body guard that acts for the alpha." Clayton finished for her. "Me."

I understood suddenly. He meant himself. "You want to come make an example of him too?"

"Damn right I do."

"So you're not going to stop me?"

He shook his head harder, standing up. "Not at all. In fact, I'm coming with you. I agree with every damn word you've said. If any mutts get any ideas about stealing anyone from our pack, be it our children, our men or our woman, they need to see what the the consequences are for them." There as a kind of tenseness there, even sadness, like he had expected this and hadn't been looking forward to it. "So I'm coming with you. You follow my lead. Do what I tell you to. We get him and you make an example of him."

I nodded. I wasn't going to say no. He did outrank me, so to speak, and could even order me to stay put. Clayton wouldn't do either unless he was ordered to.

"And Savannah is going to be going as well." Elena added. "Jeremy's orders. We're not used to dealing with magic."

"So do we get moving?" I was ready to stand up, ready to charge out that door.

"Not yet. We'll pack up, have a good night's rest, and leave early. No need to tell Jeremy too much."

Nick sat on the bed, asleep, a little pale, waiting for Elena and Clayton to leave. When they were gone he grabbed my face and kissed me hard, desperate, the fear and anger in it.

"Aren't you coming too?"

Nick shook his head. He wanted to, I could see it in his face, but he was holding himself back. "I can't. If I'm there, it'll look like I fought the fight for you. I'll be waiting here for you."

"I wish you could come."

"Me too. I would be there in a second if you called. In fact, call me the second he's dead. Call me just before. Let me say my own farewells. Tell me everything. Everything that happens." Nick grasped my legs, tugging me harder against him, trembling. He was kissing me harder, between every word, and growled at the broken door. Normally those kisses and that promice his body was offering would have worked. I would have responded.

Now I felt nothing. No arousal. No need for him. I wanted him to kiss me, to touch me, I wanted the intimacy and trust, sure, but I just couldn't extend it to a sexual need. I agreed with Elena, on a logical level, that this had been an abuse like the beating, that it wasn't my fault but my emotions just couldn't catch up with that. They were numb.

"I can't do that with you yet. I want to but..."

Nick relaxed, or tried to, taking a deep shuddering breath out. He nodded. Tried to smile and rested his forehead against mine. "No. I wouldn't make you. It's okay. We've got decades."

I nodded, flopping, shivering. The anger and guilt was being replaced by the numbness and the drive to do something. To take revenge.

Antonio turned up that evening, suitcase in hand, and promised to care for the triplets that night with Jeremy so we could rest properly. That may have been a nice idea but I struggled to sleep without the sound of their breathing, their soft coos and baby talk to each other, without their smell in my nostrils. So did Nick. Only when we had a piece of their clothing, one per baby, did we manage to fall into an uneasy sleep, bodies and hands entwined.


	21. Rio

As much as wanted to rush, Jeremy had us wait a week while he made sure everything was checked, that Paige and Lucas could research with Elena, that I was fully rested and to make sure, probably, that he wasn't himself about to change his mind and order us to stay behind.

I woke up to breakfast and babies in bed very early the morning we were leaving, fried tomatoes, bacon, eggs, and Nick offering a piece into my mouth before I was even fully awake.

"Morning, love." He grinned at me as I opened my mouth, taking the food, before reaching for another bit.

"Breakfast in bed?"

"You're leaving soon." Nick reached down to play with Susie as I took the spoon and fed myself, his eyes avoiding mine, like he couldn't look me in the face. Couldn't face it.

"Then I'll be back."

"Yes, and I'll lock you into this room." He shivered, sense of humour dry and not working as well as usual, glancing up with that intense stare he had when he was upset. Nick reached up to stroke my hair, playing with it, hand tracing down my neck and across my chest. When I didn't flinch, or pull away, he gently cupped one of my breasts, running his thumb across the nipple through the fabric.

"Agreed. And I'll tie you to the bed." I shivered at his caress, which made him grin a little then, clearly liking my train of thought.

"You could do it now."

"With the three babies on the bed?"

"If you're serious I could move them into their bed." Nick moved closer. Lips finding my neck, slowly, gentle kisses, hand running up my leg. "Cuddles after... unless you still need time."

"Put them in their crib for a moment." I said, after a moment, and he gently lifted each baby up, kissing him or her before lowering them into the crib one by one. Once they were safely out of the way Nick jumped back onto the bed, sliding up between my legs, kissing up the bare skin.

I shivered, shut my eyes, tried to relax. I didn't want to leave like I'd been yesterday, full of fear and guilt, I didn't want the alpha to be the one to separate me from my mate. To destroy the trust I had in him. I wanted to face him loved by someone, still able to be touched, still able to care. Nick's finger tips brushed against the edge of the fabric, then stopped, waiting.

"You better undress me if I'm leaving soon." I said, softly, opening one eye. He relaxed, grinned, and slid up my body to kiss me hungrily as his hands finished undressing me. "I need you to go slow this time."

It took some time, more than usual, before my body responded to him. Nick went slow, so slow that I ended up trying to get him to hurry up, our bodies pleasing each in a way that had me lying there in a daze for ten minutes even as he brought the babies over for cuddles and kisses. No one would do this to me, ever, no one besides this man. It wasn't just fucking. Yes, we did that too, that rough version that was about release, possession and the excitement, but it was also something else.

I kissed him gently as he brought Dominic over, still the salty taste of my sweat on his lips,and he reached up to stroke my hair as I lifted Dominic against my chest and held him there, watching my son's blue eyes lift up to mine and a smile as he recognised me. Somehow Nick managed to get Lily there as well and held Susie, snuggling up to my side, the five of us dozing together.

Kids circled us like anxious sharks as we stood in the kitchen just before eight the three trying to convince us to stay. It wasn't working and Matt was loosing his temper worse than the other two, little wolf-like growls as he kept trying to yank my bag off the table and walk away with it, till we had to put it up high out of his reach. He'd shadowed me the second I'd stepped out of the bedroom.

Paige asked for my phone and charger so I dug it out with one hand, the other hand closed around Matt, Nick standing behind me, handing it over. It was feeling a little crowded now.

"We'll keep your phone here." Paige took it and slid over something she'd been fiddling all breakfast. "We'll keep it here and walk around with it. Make it look like you're moving. And this is the phone you'll use. Untraceable and with some software on it that'll help you track his number instead. So while he's watching your phone and thinking you're here..."

"I'll be getting closer to him." I took the phone and nodded. "Is it an easy program to use?"

"It might take some getting used to, the program, but you'll get it. And it might only buy some time but we're guessing extra time is useful." Lucas handed me a small notebook, I guessed with instructions as to how to use the program. "Right now he was last seen at the airport in New York."

"Anything works." Clayton glanced around him. "Savannah?"

"Meeting you at the airport. She's already working on getting his flight details." Jeremy replied as he sipped his coffee.

"I think you should dye your hair." Paige was speaking to me, not to Clayton, ignoring Nick's sharp intake of breath.

"She's not touching it." He started, before cutting himself off, chin resting on top of my head like he was shielding my hair.

"Why?" I wriggled loose of his grip, not really keen on it myself, but …

"Humans will know you by face so even a slight change would buy some time. I know-" She glanced up at Nick who's mouth had opened. "-werewolves don't. But he doesn't seem to be working with just werewolves. So you could use this."

She held up a hair dye that was, more or less, blonde. Really blonde. The kind of blonde that most people associated with a sixteen year old girl who was trying to stand out by fitting in. It was a little like Elena's hair, in a way, except that hers was gorgeous, silvery and natural. This was 'light iced blonde'... and when I frowned at it, she was quick to slide over another box. A darker warm brown, praline or chocolate or something.

"Is it scentless?" Nick asked, reaching over to take the darker brown one from me, inspecting it. He wrinkled his nose as he smelt it through the box. "Won't work. She'll pass out from the smell."

"It's an idea." I slid the darker brown into my bag anyway. He was probably right. I'd probably spend however long it took to set with an oxygen mask on. "Anything else we'll need?"

"A hug?" Reece offered as he came downstairs, sleepy, somehow prying me free of Nick and Matt, yanking me into his arms. He yawned, stretched, and held me there. "Sure you don't need a third person?"

"She can't take you." Nick growled softly, though his heart wasn't in it, and I suspected that he wouldn't have minded if Reece was coming along if he couldn't.

Farewells happened then, quick ones, a relief for me who didn't like them. Backpacker style backpack, check. Matt detached, check. Smaller backpack, seeing as I didn't use handbags? Check. We'd almost look like a pair of backpackers off for an adventure, rather than a hunt, which seemed to match Clayton's appearance.

Then we were off.

I found a solution to the 'hair' problem at the airport, seeing an Islamic woman with her kids, and nudged Clayton. He'd reverted back to his charming self around humans, all scowls and glowers at any man or woman that tried to flirt with him, the real side of him apparently forgotten in his closet back home.

"What?"

I pointed at her, gently, and said softly, "Better idea than chemicals?"

He followed my gaze. She wasn't covered up fully, just her hair, and he nodded. Then Clayton gestured to where a dark haired girl was standing. "She's there. Come on."

Savannah filled us in. The alpha had caught a flight to South America, flanked by one person who to her looked like a professional soldier rather than the usual scared humans we were used to, and she thought it almost looked like he was being escorted there rather than going willingly. But she couldn't be sure. They'd bought a flight to Rio and had already left on a flight two days before. She was going to wait and see what my phone, with the tracking software, said before she bought tickets.

I moved as close as my instincts would allow and let her show me how to use it. Lucas was right, it didn't take much to learn, but then we were both similar ages and familiar with technology. We saw he was still in Brazil, somewhere further south from Rio, so she agreed to go get tickets. Clayton remained her they had to be first class. No exceptions. She nodded and slipped away, gesturing to a quieter corner she'd meet us in.

Clayton's body language with her was actually a little shocking, after spending nearly months alone with my pack, because no matter how much he knew her, Clayton still couldn't seem to bring himself to relax or trust her. When she was gone he steered me into the corner and we waited for her. Elena contacted me as we waited, letting me know she'd found some interesting stuff and wanted me to read it on the plane, so I started to download attachments onto tiny laptop while we waited.

Clayton as he stood there with his very 'social' scowl at anyone who came too close to help us. The poor airport employees were quick to back off again. I might have felt sorry for them another time but right now I was searching through the documents Elena had emailed me, the little laptop frustrating for me to use, trying to read about anything in South America that might be a werewolf sighting. Savannah waited in the line for all three of us.

I told him what I'd found and he nodded slowly, just a fraction.

"It's called a Lobisomem there. Most of what she found is just myths about how they're created, like if a woman has too many daughters and gives birth to a son, or that they change at a crossroads or need to run through a bunch of graveyards before they can change back..." I shook my head slightly at that. Clayton snorted too as he glanced down. "But there's one thing that might be interesting. There's a town called Joanópolis which has more sightings than any other. Called the 'Capital of the Werewolf'. Looks sort of the direction his cell was in."

"How far from Rio?"

I looked that up. Good old Google Maps, I didn't know how people lived without it. "Around four hundred and fifty kilometres. Um, so that's around a six hour drive. Probably longer if the roads aren't maintained as well as ours."

"We'll get something off road at the airport."

I nodded and found myself staring at the other myths. It was something that really interested me, as much as hypnotherapy did, and I used to love it when I was younger. "There's myths about men who turn into jaguars too. Clay, how many of these myths might be based on fact?"

"Humans can have over-active imaginations. But... it seems sometimes they're inspired. No one really knows what's out there still."

"I'd love to find out once life settles down." I said softly. I really did. Exploring the world for myths, seeing if I could find traces of them, using my new senses do it. Humans spent their entire lives trying and usually failing. "Australia has this thing called a yowie. Some of them are as huge as ten feet high, covered in hair, apparently stink like hell. But there's been a lot of sightings. And there's been sightings of large black cats around Australia too."

"What's so unusual about that?" Despite himself, I suspected he was interested too, if just a fraction.

"Panther sized black cats. In a country that has no natural predators, except for dingos, and they're located only in a few areas that the panthers are never seen in. I used to love this stuff." I admitted, a small smile as his eyes met mine.

We went quiet and watched as Savannah bought the tickets for us. She came over and we stood up, hoisting the bags up again.

"Three tickets to Rio. Flight's at two thirty so we have to hurry through customs. Here." She handed us each our passports. "First class, like you wanted. We can give them the baggage now."

So we stood up and reluctantly lined up. I felt a little caged myself, in those rope fences, people bumping into us, their personal spaces a little too narrow for my liking. Humans did set my instincts on edge these days. I made myself relax and pretend to be good. Great! Rio, here we come to ...well, hunt down werewolves.

Then through customs, same problem, until we finally made it out with an hour to spare. By then my nerves were already frazzled and when Savannah informed us that there'd be no food on the plane, it was express, so we'd have to eat here... we gorged ourselves, finding a quiet corner in the airport's food court, taking out the anxiety on food instead.

I called Pav and filled her and Vi in. They didn't care about the time difference- apparently Elena had already called them and they'd been expecting the call. They filled me in from their end, having been taken around the territory, and were living in a cottage a short walk from the Russian Pack's main building. There had been some conflicts already, mostly around the fact that they were the only female werewolves in Russia but they were also married to each other. Lesbian werewolves were appreciated as much as mated ones, apparently. Pav reassured me everything was fine though- Vi had already scared off one of the young men with the alpha's permission after he got a bit too friendly with her. Another one was a little too protective of Pav for Vi's liking because of the partial blindness. After months of getting used to our pack she was struggling to start again with the trust game.

It wasn't long before our stomachs were bulging and it was time to board so I had to say goodbye with a promise to call again.

The plane itself presented another problem, one Clayton had not encountered before. The first class seats were in separate capsule designs. He didn't like it much, neither did I, because it meant that we'd be unable to see each other unless we sat up fairly high in our chairs. Easy for him- he was tall. For me, not so easy. But the flight was a short one and we settled in, Clayton in the window seat in front of me, Savannah beside me next to the aisle so I gritted my teeth and put up with it. Savannah didn't seem to mind in the slightest where she'd been sat, she settled back, put in earphones and was in her own little world for the rest of the flight.

Despite my uncomfortable feelings towards the way the flight was set up I couldn't help but feel some excitement as we took off. Being a full time student before coming to Australia since High School was great, sure, but it had problems too. Including the problem of never having enough money to travel. The most I did was the two hour flight from Brisbane to Melbourne.

I slid up out of my seat as we took off, watching the coastline of America fade away as the plane proved that it was indeed an 'express', leaving only ocean. Some dark blue, some light, and the swirling of the clouds that suggested a hell of a storm was building up for the more tropical parts we might have been passing over.

The little video screen in the 'capsule' showed me where I was. I got lost in that, watching the map, watching out the window, the claustrophobia with the humans fading as i focused on better things. How many twenty six year olds got to go to Rio first class? Hunt down werewolves? Indulge their passion for crypto...well, whatever it was called, the myths thing. I was lucky. I had to kick myself out of this depression. It had been an assault, not something I could change, not something I could have stopped, and I had to get over it.

I kept telling myself that as I made myself realise how lucky I was to be here. Flying to Rio. Rio!

Rio!

Rio!

The champagne helped me relax, helped the depression and anger fade, helped me focus on the positive things of this. Yes, I was leaving my babies for a few weeks at least, leaving Nick, leaving Matt and yes, I was chasing down my rapist to do ...well, I could think of a few things. I was going to Brazil though!

It didn't work. I sat there, grumpy, stressed, tense, and the hour inched by.

We changed planes at one of the American airports, I wasn't sure which and didn't care so much, and made our way onto another plane after a few hours of sitting around. Clayton kept acting funny, like he kept seeing something, but he didn't tell us what was going on, just scowled at his food.

This plane took off at ten pm which had the three of us sitting there tense, stressed out of our heads, and thankfully left alone in the food court. Then it was back onto a plane.

This one had the same style seats but now it was suddenly a relief, in a way, Clayton and myself sitting side by side, Savannah in the window seat, and we could pull up the side of the capsule things in order ot get privacy. That didn't mean sleep, of course, but it did mean we could feel like we were slightly safer. Closed in.

And they did serve dinner on this one. A puny dinner, the kind of thing you'd see in an overpriced restaurant more interested in the look of it than the taste, which had Clay order both of us extra. He muttered something about trying to get some sleep, which I assumed applied to me only, because as I rested back I could still see the blonde curls clearly- he had to have been still sitting upright, keeping watch as usual. Around us the only other few people in first class with us started to fall asleep or focus on the TV screens.

I only inched my seat down a bit though, wanting to keep Clay's head in my view, and his smell there. Comfort in numbers and all that. Shut my eyes, slowed my breathing, and tried to doze.

I did sleep for a while. I started to wake when I smelt something come into the caspule beside me, but as it was a familiar smell, I didn't rush the waking part.

Something lifted me up and I opened my eyes to see Nick carefully lowering himself into my seat and lowering me into his lap. When he saw my eyes were open he grinned.

"Can I go swimming? I brought you something perfect to wear here." He reached for the flight attendant button.

"Nick!" Clayton growled, twisting around to stare across the barrier. He glowered at one of the flight attendants who was hurrying over to our seat. She hesitated before coming over. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Too late to turn the plane around now. I'm here." He nuzzled my neck and grinned his dazzling smile at the young woman who's cheeks flushed. "Hi there. Sorry to disturb you this late but could we have something to eat? Something a little warm?" She nodded, backing up, muttering something about how there could be a second dinner that no one needed. Nick turned his attention back to us. "Can we go dancing?"

"We're not here to sightsee, Nick." Clay's voice was low now, a warning, clearly not amused. I wasn't really either but I couldn't deny I was glad to see him.

"No, you're hunting down my wife's rapist." Nick hissed, softer, the grin fading. His voice was so low now that only we'd hear him. "Thirty seconds after you were gone I knew I wasn't going to just sit around. Would you sit around at Stonehaven if we were after Elena's rapist?"

Clayton didn't answer. Just turned his head around back to the TV and didn't look back.

"He'll forgive me. Glad to see me?" Nick shifted in my lap to look at me, lips finding mine. I nodded, shook my head, glared at him, then kissed him hard. He chuckled, reaching up to cup my face, breathing out slowly as he relaxed. I wasn't going to tell him off. Truthfully, I was relieved. The freaking out I'd had on the first plane was gone now. Nick was here and I could think again. Oh, I'd be mad later, when I'd gotten off this plane and stopped stressing out of my head, but we were stuck together here. May as well enjoy it, right?

"Where are you sitting?"

"Economy. But that lovely young lady said I could stay here with you if you allowed it. She even offered me the spare seat over there." He jerked his head towards the empty seat on the other window seat beside me. "She seemed to like me."

She returned with the meals, offering them to us, and smiled somewhat as he winked at her. I nudged him and he grinned, nipping me, arm tightening around my waist.

"How long is the flight?" He asked, softer.

"Over twelve hours."

"Ever heard of the mile high club?" He got a bite for that one, a bite which he took in a different way than I intended, Nick's eyes sparkling a little.

"You do anything there," Clayton's voice came now, eyes still forward, "And I'll throw you off the plane. Don't care how high up we are."

"He's just grumpy that he hasn't joined it yet with Elena." Nick whispered, ignoring the soft growl, hand sliding up my top. I batted it away and concentrated on the meal instead.

The flight quietened down as people slept and when I snuck to the bathroom at four in the morning I was quick to be joined by Nick. He grinned at me, locked the door, the tiny room barely big enough for the two of us. Nick went to bend me over, which sent a wave of panic over me as it jolted still painful memories, and I had to spin around. He didn't seem to mind that either though and, like he'd always been, continued to teach me to enjoy 'naughty' things.

Clayton glowered at us as we came back half an hour later, unnoticed by the rest, shaking his head at us like we were a couple of naughty teenagers. Then he muttered, softly, "We joined last year. Now sit down and shut up for the rest of the flight. That's an order."

Nick laughed and slid back into his seat.

A few hours sleep, interrupted by the breakfast, made for a very tired me. I ate and tried to read the documents Elena had sent me, ignoring the bump-bump of the plane as it bounced around, or the small shape of it, or the fact that I couldn't run. Or walk. Things the wolf side of me wished I could do right now to work off this growing anxiety. Reading seemed to help and Nick came to sit inside the capsule with me, the roomy legroom making it easy for him to sit under my legs, reading his own 'Lonely planet guide to Brazil'. Any plans of telling him off this morning faded. Having that scent, that heartbeat, that touch, it eased my anxiety a little more. Even Clayton seemed less strung out than the night before, even if he still kept addressing me rather than Nick.

Savannah just seemed amused at Nick appearing out of the blue. She offered a USB so I could copy the documents onto her laptop and sit in Nick's seat so we could read them and comment softly on what we'd found.

I read what Elena had found, recognising the Chupacabra one, feeling my long abandoned inner geek stirred up. Maybe this was a delayed reaction but... there were werewolves! Vampires! Witches! Sorcerers! For the first time since I'd been bitten I felt a kind of excitement at this news. When the alpha had taken me, I'd been the kind of girl who believed in UFOs and loved to discuss this stuff, the kind of crazy artist person who decided to do hypnotherapy to help people explore past lives. Being bitten and captured, assaulted, and treated like an animal had somewhat made me more practical and a little bit more violent... but now suddenly it seemed to be interesting again. Like some part of me had woken up and come out of hiding The part of me that believed in things, that had hope, wonder at things and that was almost native...

I didn't want to loose that again. Sure, I'd grown up, life had forced that, but loosing that wonder of the world... he'd tried to break me. Tried to tear apart what I was and rebuild me into some kind of pet for himself. I couldn't loose that wonder again now. Couldn't abandon it or pretend it wasn't aprt of me.

I glanced down at Nick and grinned a little. "Nick?"

"Mm?" He glanced up, pressing a kiss to my legs.

"Want to know something about me that I didn't want to tell you when I met you?"

He nodded, curious, sliding closer.

"I believe in aliens."

The look on his face was priceless. He shook his head, slid a hand under my pants bottom as if he was checking to see if I was feverish, then shook his head again. "The little green kind or the little grey kind?"

"All kinds."

"Since when?" He was blinking at me, maybe not sure if I had gone mad or not.

"I was four. Saw something odd then while we were camping."

That got his attention. As long as we'd been together, as long as he'd helped me build a new life, we'd never spoken about my past. Nick knew a few more things than others, true, but it was mostly general stuff. My family's ages and why my nephew was older than me. What I'd studied. He knew that I'd had no boyfriends before him, something he'd failed to notice apparently when we'd had sex the first time, but I still had no memory of that. Other than that he'd never probed and I never offered. Focusing on the future was always easier for us than the past.

Now, whether he believed in what I saw or not, I'd just spoken of my past. It was another minor breakthrough for me- being able to speak of the time before the bite, time when my parents were alive, to connect my past with right now.

We went quiet as the flight attendant went past, Nick's arm snaking around my leg as he went back to his book, as if he was pushing all his questions down for later.

The morning dragged on, though it was easier with the company now. After hours, as we came to lunch, the plane started to bump and jump around a little more. We were zooming at the coastline and larger amounts of buildings and city started to appear under us. The plane started to lower, map showed us we were nearly on top of it, and I saw Clayton's head twist around as he told Nick to go sit down in his seat. That meant this was it.

The seatbelt light came on and Nick scowled as the flight attendant called for people to return to their seats. He had to go back to economy for this part, apparently, and had to hurry. The plane was already dipping lower.

"I'll be waiting for you outside. Don't run away. Or do. I enjoy chasing you." He nipped my hand leg and stood up, flashing the flight attendant with a breath taking smile, before he headed down the plane. She looked flustered suddenly, mouth half open as she forgot whatever it was she was going to say, before turning and heading back the other way.

As soon as we got off the plane Clayton led us away quickly, ahead of Nick, thanks to the plane letting first class off first. Nick was going to ge his chase after all, apparently. Baggage gotten, rushed to the rental car desk, and he worked on getting us something while we waited.

"Was Nick supposed to come?" Savannah asked, softly.

"Officially, no. But I'm sure if he broke an order or not." I suspected not. Nick would have just not asked Jeremy. Maybe his father, sure, because the task of triplet care would fall to him, but not Jeremy. "He won't be far behind."

"He's hurrying over now." She jerked her head over my shoulder and I turned to see him chasing me down, dropping his bags and embracing me like we'd been separate for days instead of a few hours, like this was a reunion.

When I could get my feet back on the ground he glanced up to where Clayton was waiting, impatient, tapping on the counter as the oblivious girl there gawked openly at him. I wondered what she'd say if I told her how old he was. She'd probably have thought I was kidding.

"Jeremy will be pissed off." I warned Nick, softly, and he nodded.

"I can take that for this. You give an order and I'll follow it."

"If I tell you to get onto the plane?" I narrowed my eyes.

Nick's face fell somewhat. He made the saddest face I'd seen on him, big brown eyes wide, lips pouting, shoulders drooping, till I couldn't take it and had to hit him. "I'd be very sad. Ow, hey!"

"Promise to follow my orders?"

He nodded. "Clayton first, of course, but ... yes. What you say goes."

"Carry my bags?"

"Wasn't I already doing that?" He lifted up one of the two suitcases with him. "Guess I figured you didn't pack enough." Nick's eyes dropped to the small backpacker style backpack and shook his head.

I rolled my eyes and let him stay, let him move close enough so our arms were brushing, and when Clayton came back he didn't even look at Nick. Giving him the same treatment as he did to Savannah or other humans, that indifferent treatment. She didn't mind. Nick did.

"Got us something. GPS a bonus apparently. They're bringing it to the front and will come and get us." Clayton still refused to look at Nick, eyes fixed in mine, as he added, "I'm going to the bathroom and calling Jer."

"No need to call him." Nick waved his hands. "Late there. Bet he's in bed. Let's find a hotel and have a lot of food."

Clayton shook his head at him and vanished into the bathroom. It was five minutes before he returned and by then the car was there waiting.

A man came inside to hand him the keys when the woman from the desk spotted Clayton. We gathered up our things and headed outside into the heat. The heat made us hurry into the seats all that much faster, throwing bags in without much care. We got inside, Nick pouting as I slid in beside Clayton in the front seat, before he turned his attention to Savannah instead.

"Hotel before we leave or head off?" Clayton glanced at me and Savannah. "Could pick some food up somewhere on the way."

"Do you want a rest before the long drive?" I asked and he nodded a fraction.

"Hotel sounds good. Nick will have to stay with me though. If he's recognised he'll be watched and I don't want them to notice Anne too soon." Savannah glanced at him, narrowing her eyes. "Clayton with Anne."

"Seems a fair punishment." Clayton agreed, nodding, and we started out of the airport.

I watched the world as he made his way somewhere, the GPS leading us to the address of a hotal Nick was interested in, another foreign city with strange smells and climates. In some ways it was similar, the cars were modern, people wandered around in the usual clothing, the only thing really different being that down here it was spring and that the cars had a different language on them.

Not only that but there were also incredible mountains and, as we came along to a long straight road, there was a long straight stretch of beach that went with it. I had to admit I sort of like this place already. The beach was covered in people, no surprise in this heat, but it wasn't quite tourist season. Nick got us the penthouse, which made Clay mutter about a waste of money, but it did have three bedrooms. Clayton let up on the 'separate room' punishment but found another way.

He introduced me to the desk clerk as his wife, essentially shutting Nick off from flirting with me outside the room or in front of the staff, and I suspected he hoped this'd also throw off anyone who noticed us.

The second we got into our room Savannah made her way for the bathroom. Clayton turned on Nick, hitting him hard, the two of them exchanging blows as Clayton finally took out exactly what he thought about Nick showing up like this. When he was done, he backed up, Nick flopping back onto the couch, Clayton's hostility fading. He seemed to relax somewhat, flopping into a chair, as he tugged out his phone and turned it on.

"You all right?" I asked Clayton.

"I am!" Nick called, groaning as he rubbed his arm.

"Calling Jeremy now."

I climbed onto the couch beside Nick and lay down, head in his lap. Yeah, he wasn't supposed to be here, and what were we going to do now? Leave him here in the hotel? Probably not. I reached up to pinch him where Clay's fist had hit at one point. "You really ...shouldn't have come."

"Tough. Here I am." He bent down to kiss me, tugging my hair out of his way, and yawned as Nick leaned back. "Food?"

I shrugged and shut my eyes, curling my legs up, exhausted. I just wanted to sleep. I listened to Clayton speak to Jeremy as long as possible, Nick's heartbeat echoing through the arteries in his leg, and fell into a real sleep for the first time in hours.

I was woken by the sound of Clayton's phone ringing and opened my eyes to see that I wasn't alone with the need to sleep. Nick curled up beside me, the crown of his head just a fraction from mine, Clayton was slumped across half the couch, Savannah's breathing coming from one of the rooms. Clayton stirred, glared at the phone's caller ID, and turned it off.

That reminded me that I hadn't turned mine on. I stood up and headed for where the bags had been left, rummaging through my bag and finding the phone Paige had given me. With the two men asleep I headed outside onto the balcony and turned it on.

I'd intended on checking where the alpha was but got distracted by a ton of messages and missed calls. Mostly from Reece, which was odd, but a few messages from Jeremy who'd decided I had to dye my hair after all, then sending another message to let me know that the hotel we were staying in had its own salon and were sensitive to the needs of the customer. Something about a haircut too, maybe a tan, like he was suddenly really determined to make me look different somehow. Great. Stinking like fake tan, if they did stink, might not have been a problem for a human woman but for a werewolf...

Actually, I realised, that wasn't such a bad idea. Hair dye and some weird chemical shit on my skin might block my scent a little. I was rested enough now anyway.

Reece could wait a bit longer.

Savannah came with me to the hairdresser when I'd showered, the two of us leaving a note for them to remain there or else. She was just as clueless about this stuff as me, to my relief, but the hairdresser seemed keen to turn my split ends and 'brushed last week' hair into something else. When I muttered something about brown, she shook her head, looking like I'd just asked for bright green. I was asked if I had blonde hair as a child and when I nodded it was already starting before I could blink.

"I need it to be as scentless as possible." I said at one point, which was fairly pointless to say, because it was more or less ignored. Chemicals and perfumes and god knows what else they put in that stuff burnt into my nose as my hair was yanked, tugged, washed, brushed, combed, bleached, dyed, and probably not in that order. Then I was rushed off to get the 'instant bronze' tan. More chemicals burnt my nostrils till I wondered if I'd be able to smell again. This was why we always used scentless products. It was like I'd stuck my head inside a bucket of chlorine and bleach and it looked that way too- it looked bizarre.

Luckily, she didn't seem to go overboard with that, just making me look a little less glow in the dark, a little more like I'd been outside, and I was dragged back into the salon for round two, gritting my teeth, trying to ignore the sense of space invaded and nostrils whacked with smells as my hair was again dyed. Wet. Cut. Combed. Cut. Tugged at. Dried.

I did look different. Better? I wasn't sure if that was what I'd call it. It wasn't bad, though, Savannah seemed impressed enough, it'd been lightened and dyed into a golden blonde, skin warmed up, and I smelt like chemicals. I actually looked a little like Clayton, which amused me, except for the height difference.

Nick gawked at me, shaking his head, as I returned upstairs. Even Clayton stared. Then he wrinkled his nose.

Nick was halfway over when he froze and stopped, as if he couldn't quite bring himself to get closer. He crossed his arms. "You don't smell right."

"That's the point." I moved past him, or tried to, Nick's hand grasping my arm gently so that he could inspect my hair.

"We're going to head off in the morning." Clayton told me as Nick played with the dyed hair. He was looking at the map to the other city as he spoke, tracing it. "Very early."

"That's okay."

"I wanted to go out dancing with Anne tonight." Nick called. "You coming?"

Clayton wanted to say no, I could see it in his face, as he narrowed his eyes at Nick. But to do that would mean we'd have to split up and he didn't want to do that either now, not while we were in a strange place. "We're not splitting up."

"Come on." Nick let go of my arm and went over to Clayton. I took that chance to escape and slid away into one of the bedrooms that hadn't been claimed yet.

It was around six now, already. I heard Clayton coming in behind me, smelt him, heard him again get repelled by the smell my body had. If it worked on him it'd work on other werewolves for sure.

"I'll sleep in Nick's bed. Nothing personal, but ..."

"I smell like I took a bath in chemicals?"

"Exactly."

I nodded and he backed out again for the last bedroom, tugging Nick behind him, ignoring Nick's attempts at arguing for a night out. Oh sure, I sort of agreed, but going out in Rio was kind of silly.

l at my phone, intending on checking where the alpha had gone, and stared. Another fifteen missed calls from Reece?

I slid into my bedroom and shut the door as I called him. He answered on the first half-ring.

"Anne, why the bloody hell haven't you answered your phone?"

"I was on a flight, a nap, the hairdresser. What's wrong?"

"Let me go somewhere quieter." He paused, I could hear a heavy 'oof' as he apparently jumped out a window, and listened to him jog into the forest. He went for five minutes as I waited, imagining the bill clocking up fast, before he stopped. "You alone?"

I glanced at the shut door and heard Nick and Clayton arguing outside. "More or less. They're busy arguing over whether to go dancing or not. What's going on?"

"Daniella's gone missing. Jeremy doesn't know yet."

I blinked as I stared out the window. "How long?"

"She vanished just after Nick. Left most of her stuff here but she's taken some of her clothing with her and money. I think-" Reece sound panicked, I could hear it, his breathing fast as he stood in the forest. "-I think she followed Nick down there. Did you see her or smell her anywhere?"

"No. I could ask Nick but-"

"Don't! If Jeremy finds out, he'll be pissed, and he might not let her come back. I think she's gone to follow you." I heard the sound of him flopping onto the ground.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Keep a nose out for her. Fuck. I should come down but I can't do that." He growled on the phone, his frustration obvious. "She's been doing badly. I thought she'd agreed to stay with me but ..."

"If we spot her I can't pretend I invited her. What do you mean by badly?" I sat down on the bed, sighing, rubbing my head. I didn't know a lot about Daniella still. She'd been more or less keeping herself ever since she'd come to Stonehaven, watching, mostly with Reece or on her own. No one really knew a lot about her even now.

"She's been angry as all hell about being left out of this when she thinks she deserves revenge too. If you see her just call me and tell me she's okay. I should have kept a closer eye on her." He swore again, clearly upset. "After what she did to Iven, I should have ...tied her up or something."

"What did she do to Iven?" I remembered that we'd briefly had the second last member of the pack with us. I'd never even been offered a chance to see him and at the time I hadn't cared.

"Tortured him and killed him. Filmed it and everything. She's going a bit... Anne, you need to get her home. She's _not_ okay. She's really hurt."

"I should tell Clayton and Nick. The three of us can keep an eye out for her."

Reece didn't argue, though I suspected he wanted to, going quiet. It took him a while to answer, "I don't want her to be kicked out."

"I know you don't. All right. We'll keep an eye and nose out for her." I rubbed my head. A knock on the door made me jump and Reece seemed to hear it too.

"All right. Call me later then and let me know."

We said our goodbyes and I hung up.

Nick slid inside, shut the door, locked it, and went for the suitcase he'd brought me. I watched him rummage, tug out a short red dress and hold it up. "Good for dancing?"

"We're not going."

"We're going. So get changed! Quick!" He moved over to yank my clothing off, as I protested weakly, lips coming to kiss me while he waited for me to dress. As he stood there, he yawned, looking exhausted, but he couldn't resist somehow. "Before Clayton changes his mind."

We went only a few streets away to some kind of nightclub, filled with beautiful people, and they took one look at Nick and Clayton and let us in. Savannah was close behind as well, watching our backs. She was much more alert looking than Nick or Clayton, eyes focused, and I had to admit I agreed with her there. Jetlag was doing great things for staying up late.

The nightclub had two stories, one for dancing, and a second story that had a balcony that looked down onto it. The bar was busy, people everywhere, the smell of sweat and other things mingling with the humidity of the night and the alcohol. Clayton gestured upstairs to the balcony and I nodded. I'd probably go up there too soon.

Nick grabbed my hand and yanked me across to the bar. I got a drink and gestured upstairs too, which made him frown till he grabbed Savannah and pulled her into the throbbing dancing people. I took one look at them and felt a small shudder at the idea of being rubbed up against by so many people...

I found out though, as I stood there for half an hour sipping a cocktail, that that wasn't something I could avoid. Boobs, a bum, someone's hip, a hand squeezing my ass from one of the mysterious people in the crowd, down on the first floor people just crowded together. When that hand returned and tried to slip up my dress I was quick to retreat, climbing the stairs for the second floor, deciding that maybe watching from up there was safer than down here.

It was more or less like an orgy up here. Lounges were in the corners, another bar, darker lighting, and I could smell sex in one corner. I inhaled, searching for Clayton, watching Nick and Savannah seemingly ignore or not care about being pressed against by a bunch of strangers. This was one area of life I'd struggle to share with him... but then, I had never been in a place that was so crowded before.

I backed up against the wall as people moved past, giggling, purring at each other in Portuguese, one of the men stopping to openly check me out, till he was tugged away.

As I watched them, someone else found me, and I found myself pinned against the wall by a tall man with a very large tan, speaking Portuguese, before he got that I didn't speak that, switching to accent heavy English. Hands closed around my arms as he stepped closer. I might have been alarmed but I'd already seen this one try this with a couple of other women downstairs.

"You smell _good_. You like me?" He grinned, pinning me harder, lips coming down to kiss me before I could answer. I was a bit stunned, standing there, as some stranger kissed me hard. A hand groped my behind and I knew exactly who it'd been and why this one had come up like this. Maybe he thought my retreat to the balcony was an invitation. As he tried to start something, and I quickly removed the hand, I smelt him before he smelt me. Another werewolf? The first one we'd found and we hadn't had to even leave Rio. Course, the problem was that he was kissing me and I wasn't returning it, so he leaned back, a little put off by that.

Then his nostrils flared and his eyes widened. Nose came up to find under my neck, free hand returning to the original place so he could hold my arms, keeping me steady as he sniffed lightly. I knew what he'd smelt, under the tan and the hair and the perfume, the other scent wafting up out of my pores as I sweated in the humid night.

"You a woman?" He blinked at me, stunned, though he didn't try the kiss again. Eyes went down my dress. "A real … _like me_... woman?"

Clayton yanked him off me, shoving him away, arm coming across my shoulders as he fixed his stare into the other werewolf.

His nostrils flared as Clayton's scent filled his nostrils too. For a moment his face hardened till he shook his head and that wide smile came back on.

"Ah, _your_ woman? That explains the smell." He shrugged off the scent coming from me, probably assuming that it was more likely I'd just gotten covered in Clayton's smell. People usually liked to go for the more likely answer even if the truth was slapped in their face Clayton tightened his arm around my arms, eyes fixed in the Brazilian mutt's face, until he stepped back and held up his hands in submission. "All welcome in this city! Outside the city-" His face returned to that hard look. "-we are not so welcome. Will be killed if we leave. Understand?"

Clayton nodded stiffly. The mutt's eyes went back to me, nostrils flaring, brow creasing as he smelt two scents. He could have tried to convince himself again that I was just mixing Clayton with my human smell but with the humid night sending little rivers of sweat down my spine it was maybe a bit too much to hope for. One glower from Clayton, a look that said more than anything anyone could say, and the Mutt vanished down the stairs again.

"I think he's a mutt here." He said over the music, just enough for me alone to hear, glancing around. "Seen Nick?"

"Dancing. Or getting drinks. I'm not sure where he is."

We moved closer to the edge of the balcony and saw him dancing with Savannah, the two of them much more experienced with this kind of place than us, Nick seemingly forgotten that he was supposed to be getting me a drink.

"We've got to go back now. Don't want him to spread the word and get other curious mutts here." Clayton said, softer, I had to strain to hear him. But I nodded and we headed downstairs to grab Nick and Savannah and direct them outside.

We made our way outside, ignoring people looking at us, my sunglasses back on. If people approached, mostly a couple of young men, one look from Clayton had them backing off again. They didn't even know who he was but the man was an expert in fending away humans with a stare.

The mutt, curious like before, had trailed after us. Maybe he'd already smelt Nick but he kept watching us, stalking us almost, curious as all hell about all of us.

Then I stopped. This was bothering me, this 'let's get her back to the hotel' routine, because this was something I _couldn't_ keep doing. Letting them rush me off safely away from another big bad mutt. This was exactly how they got the wrong impression.

"You two can keep going to the hotel. I'm hungry and a little curious about something." I gestured to the little takeaway place that was located back up some distance, behind the mutt, still in use as people filtered out of the nightclub and searched for munchies. Nick stopped and was going to go after me but Clayton nodded slightly. Pulled him away. Did I think they'd do what I said? Hell no, they'd probably retreat to a safe distance and keep watch, but at least Clayton seemed to understood. After all, wasn't this why we'd come here?

I strode back again and made sure I didn't pretend to be submissive. What was the point?

The mutt made his way across the dark street, glancing both ways, and came straight up to me. No attempt at being submissive or quiet, he went to stand in my path as I approached him.

An arm came to block me as I stepped around him. He wasn't being threatening though, not yet, more curious than anything. Still my heart pounded somewhat and the sweat wasn't altogether to do with the humidity now.

"You _are_ like me, aren't you? Yes-" He inhaled sharply, stunned, clearly a little more turned on than before. "Yes, you are."

"I need to ask you some questions. Questions you need to keep quiet." I turned to face him, eyes meeting his, shoulders still stiff, and if I could have tried it, fur risen a bit in a warning. Don't mess with the bitch.

"Maybe we could go back to my place." He stepped closer. That usual lust I saw in mutt's face didn't frighten me. Apparently it was normal, a 'phase' they had to go through. "I live here. Very nice place. We could be all alone..."

"Alone? First, I need to know your name, number and address? Real ones."

He wrote them both down and gave them to me. Stepped closer again, until his chest was brushing against mine, and blinked as I stared him down, almost hostile.

"Come with me. I need a coffee and then we talk. I might even throw in a coffee for you."

He nodded, the faintest hope obvious on his face, and probably even temptation to push it further while on the street but I kept my eyes there, in his, keeping the challenge up. Push this, try and get closer, and see what happened.

Then he nodded, lowered his eyes, and we made our way side by side to where I could buy coffee.

"Where's your friends?"

"Gone." I ordered the coffee and handed him his one. When we were back on the quiet street I turned on him again. "Now, Ray, we talk. And you agree to not speak to anyone about meeting me."

"But-"

"If I'm chased or attacked, I'll hunt you down and hold you personally responsible. I'm here on a holiday, not to be attacked or harassed by any horny men." Another hard stare. I meant business.

He held up his hands. "Okay, okay, I don't do rape. I like women, I treasure women, and women come to _me_. I am famous here for my skills. Just thought _you_ might like some fun."

"Do you agree to not speak of this to anyone?"

"Not many to speak to. We don't talk. We stay in our cities that we are given and we do not encourage others to come. The penalty for us invading another's city or being seen is-" His eyebrows knitted together slightly at that. "-too terrible for a lady to hear."

"I'm no lady, remember. Am I the first woman you've seen here?"

He nodded. "Why, is there more?"

"I'm asking questions, Ray. Is there a pack?"

He nodded. "They come through here to the airport. I give no trouble and they don't stay. If I look one in the eye ...well, again, this is not for a lady to hear."

"What do they do?" I didn't budge and he sighed and lifted up his shiny shirt to show me.

"I look once. Once! And..." He pointed. One of his nipples looked like it'd been chopped off and there were the all too familiar white scars that a whip would make. "They turned on by this. Waiting for one of us to mess up. Some like men. I only looked once so I never got punished worse but I know better than to talk to them."

"You're not their friend?"

"Friend!" He spat on the ground as he yanked back his shirt. "I live here because I behave. Not _friends_. I do what I do to survive."

I nodded a fraction and lifted down the neckline of my own dress, at the back, pointing at where one of the whips had licked across my shoulder once. He frowned at it, puzzled, but he knew that kind of scar as well as I did. Anyone who had to endure that shit knew what it looked like after.

"You know their punishments?" He muttered something in Portuguese. "No way to treat a lady."

"Do you know much about them?"

"They keep us in control. Will gladly hurt us if we step a toe over our city lines. If I behave, I am fine, I am left alone and I live a good life. They tell me when they come through the city so I know to go straight home and wait till they're gone."

"When was the last time?"

He wrote that down for me after pulling out his phone. The message had 'Alpha coming through, remain indoors for six hours from X' It was the same time, roughly, as the alpha would have passed through. That at least confirmed that he might have been connected to the pack.

"Did you see the alpha when you looked?"

Ray nodded. "I wish I didn't. Very obvious who it was. Had an old human man hugging him and when he smelt me... well, you see. They said that if I tell anyone they cut my eyes out but you are not his friend, are you?" He hesitated, sudden fear in his face, real genuine fear.

I shook my head. "What did he look like?"

Again, the description of him matched. Maybe the old man was his father. But it made no sense that the old man would be human.

"I am _not_ his friend. But if I hear that he was warned of me being here, I may have to be angry too. I don't like being angry. I like good coffee and talks with mutts who don't try and rape me. The last mutt that got too friendly-" At least, not counting the alpha, "-may not be able to go too close to any woman now. Do you understand?"

He stared at me. I didn't back down, I didn't laugh and go 'Just kidding!", I was very serious and I suspected he knew that. It was strange, here I was, at least a foot shorter than this man, and he was the one physically backing down.

"I understand. I am not their friend, you are not their friend, that makes _us_ friends. And as I say, I take great pride in treating a woman as a lady, so I will not be too friendly. I don't know what you're doing here and I will not ask. Call me before you leave Rio. I will show you my city." He flashed me a grin, a slightly shaky grin.

"If you see another woman like me, with the hair just a little darker than mine, don't harm her or go near her."

"Ah, a sister?"

"She won't warn you or give you a choice like I will." My eyes went down to his crotch, just long enough for him to notice, and then back up to his face. He paled and nodded.

"All women scary ones? Or just runs in family?"

"It runs in the family." Clayton's voice drifted over. He was standing ten metres away, arms crossed doing his causal menacing stare thing. "Doesn't it, sister?"

Ray's face drained of any remaining blood. There was terror suddenly in his face, terror I couldn't copy, and he backed up. "I think I'll call it a night tonight. Thank you for the coffee, erm..."

"Rose."

"Ah, it suits you. Nice smell, soft, barbs if you get too close." He laughed and backed off. "Rose, I hope to see you when you are done. If I'm alive still."

"Keep your mouth shut and you might be." Clayton responded. There was a low growl there, a real threat, one that made even my hair rise.

We watched him as he made his way and then I turned on Clayton.

"Just helping you get the message across. Good job. Made him scared without even growling. I'm impressed."

"Or they made it easy by harassing their mutts." I muttered softly. He nodded and we headed back to the hotel. I suddenly understood why Jeremy had us more or less ignore mutts unless they were causing a big problem. Harassing them clearly did not make a pack stronger.

"That's why Jer stopped the mutt hunts." Clayton said softly. "But I'll tell you about them later. Let's get back while Savannah's binding spell lasts on Nick."

"Didn't like it?"

"He held himself together for a minute."

The hotel was getting quiet now and we easily got a lift to the top floor without seeing so much as a room service person.

"Who's the other woman?" Clayton asked as we got inside. There was a small crash as Nick fell to the ground, scrambled up, and relaxed.

"Daniella's gone missing. Reece thinks she might have followed Nick. But he wants us to ...make sure... he's afraid Jeremy will kick her out. I heard about what she did to Iven?"

Clayton nodded, inhaling a little, like the memory made his skin crawl. "Jer wasn't pleased about that. I hadn't gotten to question him yet. So she may be here?"

"Maybe. Maybe not."

He nodded and glanced at the clock. It was already one and we had to leave in a few hours. "Well, I'm going to get some rest. Coming, Nick?"

"I could sleep with-"

"No. You disobeyed orders by coming here."

"I'll go to bed. Goodnight." I went past them into my bedroom, shutting the door, and stripping for bed.

Clayton woke me half an hour later, apologetic, but he held the phone to his head. "Sorry. Paige wants the mutt's name, number and address."

I handed him the slip of paper and went back to sleep.

I was woken again early that morning and grumbled as I dressed, exhausted, but we all looked equally buggered. It was five, apparently we'd slept in a little, and it wasn't till six before we were dressed, packed, fed and able to stumble down to the hotel's front to collect the car again.

Savannah got in the front seat and I climbed into the back with Nick, yawning, curling up again and watching the city fade. It was a pretty incredible city, I couldn't deny that, I wouldn't have minded spending more time here. It was rough, gritty, but so energetic, even this time of the morning. The roads were starting to get traffic again, people walking around, maybe beating the heat that was already threatening to come back with the humidity. There was a huge park in the middle of the city too, nothing like central park in New York, but one winding around a small mountain, filled with palm trees, tropical plants, looking like you could get lost in the mountain if you went off the grassy areas.

Those same mountains edged around the city too. Not only that but there was a huge lagoon in the middle.

This place was incredible. I leaned against Nick, yawning, watching it pass by. He cuddled into me. Both of us were so curious about this place now that we'd forgotten about napping in the car. Into a tunnel, under some of those mountains, and somewhere in there I fell asleep.

We suddenly pulled off the road, honking waking me, and I saw Clayton leap out of the four wheel drive. I blinked around me, sleepy, confused, seeing him chase after someone. Savannah was quickly after him, following.

"We're to stay here." Nick told me. He still wasn't asleep. "Clayton smelt someone."

I watched where Clayton had gone and saw what he was chasing. Or rather, who he was chasing.

Daniella.

She saw him and took off, but just for a moment, before she appeared to 'trip' and was helped up by some tourists next to her. By the time she stood up Clayton had gotten there and was leading her back to the four wheel drive, ignoring the honking or the 'no park' sign... I assumed that was what it meant...

Nick slid over to the middle, Daniella was pushed inside the back seat, her bag thrown into the back carelessly.

"Reece is looking for you."

She scowled at me and crossed her arms. The child safety lock clicked on before she thought to get back out but I wondered if she would. She wanted to hunt them, we were going in that direction, and she seemed to settle down as she glanced at the GPS.

"We don't have time to put you back on a plane." Clayton snapped, pulling us back onto the road, his eyes fixed onto Daniella. "Do what I tell you."

She didn't answer, kept her arms crossed. Bundle of sunshine, this one, Reece was right. There was something very wrong with her right now.

Nick snuggled into my side as we started again through the city. City gave to highways and factories, reminding me of any other city I'd seen, highway cutting through the real Rio. I yawned and shut my eyes, falling asleep again.

We pulled up an hour out of the city so Savannah and Clayton could swap places. I yawned and checked my phone, texting Reece to let him know Daniella was with us, checking on the alpha's general location. Paige had added another phone to my tracker program thing, which meant she could check it too, great news if I lost this phone. That had to be Ray and he was still in the city somewhere. She'd sent me a message confirming that he received x amount of messages from these numbers and was tracking them all, as well as his movements.

In other words, mobile phones were scary devices, and I suddenly decided I didn't really want one anymore. My kids were getting two each the second they could walk.

I drifted back to sleep, Nick's arms around me, using his nice chest for a pillow. It was good to have a mate sometimes, it really was, even if there was a scary Daniella right beside him who looked like she forcing herself to stay awake. I heard Nick telling her it was a six hour drive at one point and she looked a bit deflated, as if she'd thought we'd be rushing out of the car in twenty minutes. Ready to do battle.

It was around ten that morning when I woke up, stretched and found Nick still awake, still looking buggered, but alert.

We drove along, the land rising and falling, green all around, seeing the rare house now. I watched it pass us by as we went. Some bigger towns came and went, but we didn't stop in them, Clayton throwing us a bag of food from the front. He clearly just wanted to get there as soon as possible.

Five hours in and they swapped drivers again. We were less than an hour and Savannah got onto the phone to find a hotel or something to stay in while we were there. Clayton moved to his side, looking tired still, but relieved. He glanced back at us, at me, fixing me with a bizarre look that didn't seem to match him.

It took me a few seconds to understand why.

It wasn't his face.

It was just a flash, a flicker of Clayton's face fading and the alpha's there, and I wondered if I'd imagined it at all. No one else seemed to have noticed, neither did Clayton, Nick was asleep, Daniella trying to conserve her energy, Savannah on the phone. But something about it bothered me. After that disastrous spell at the fake birth I didn't trust my brain anymore. Maybe it was madness, maybe not.

"I need to pee." I announced. That wasn't a lie but it was also a good excuse. "Sorry, can we stop a moment?"

He nodded and pulled over.

"Good idea. Get it done before we get there."

Savannah came with me, Daniella with us, while Clayton and Nick went to the other side of the road.

I went into the thick bush, relieved myself, and as soon as I was out of sight I asked her very softly, "Savannah, can magic make a person look like someone else?"

She nodded. Tensed just slightly. I felt a wave of relief, dread and paranoia sweep over me suddenly. What if none of them were the people I knew?

"It's exhausting though." She added, softer. "They'd be tired all the time."

Savannah was rarely tired. I felt a bit of relief at that. Daniella seemed alert too. But Clayton...

"What did you see?"

"He looked at me and his face wasn't his face."

Daniella asked. She was hesitating. "I... I thought it was a stranger chasing me. I thought I was finally going mad."

"And he hasn't called Jeremy or Elena since he's gotten here. Just Paige." Savannah muttered. "Isn't that odd for Clayton? I know I'm not an expert but..."

"And Nick didn't sleep in my room. Clayton would have let him eventually." That was odd too. Nick would have snuck in the second he could. "He didn't even watch me dress."

We heard them calling us. Savannah frowned at us, like she too was doubting whether we were real or not. But she relaxed somewhat. "I've seen you both sleeping. And you've seen me sleeping. During sleep, it can't hold. But those two ..."

I knew what she meant. The entire trip, neither had slept, even though they looked buggered.

Clayton came over, yawning, throwing a bottle of water at each of us. "Here, drink. Get us a place to stay, Savannah?"

She nodded. "Some place at a lake. Two rooms. Us three can share one, you two the other one, that work?"

Clayton nodded, looking a little relieved even. "Is it in the town?"

"No. I figured we'd need some more rest before you started the hunt properly." She opened the bottle and stretched, yawning. "I do anyway."

"Good idea. All right, all ready to go again?" We nodded and got back into the car. Nick was in the front seat now, apparently wanting to drive, so the three of us crowded into the back seats. On went the child locks again.

This time the action seemed almost hostile. We couldn't talk again, but I knew what Daniella and Savannah were concerned about. I had to agree with them, now that I looked at Nick and Clayton, they _were_ behaving odd.


	22. Jungle

The last hour of the drive was long and tense. When asked if I was okay, Clayton's gaze going to us in the back, I just yawned in his face and he nodded a fraction.

"Yeah. Me too. We'll relax there. Get a day pulling ourselves together again."

The GPS directed us to the right place. A huge lake, cabins beside it, a man coming out to greet the Americans and to be given the right amount of money. He agreed- no disturbances. This was a special holiday. Then we were directed down to the cabins with some keys. Two cabins, side by side, at the very end.

Clayton and Nick went into their cabin, claiming exhaustion, and we didn't hide the fact that we too were tired. Especially Daniella, she didn't need to fake it, her eyes were dark rimmed and she'd clearly barely slept on the flight down.

We headed to the gift store first, picking up some things, just for an excuse to go as us three. Then we headed back down to the cabins. They were beautiful, up on a hill overlooking the pools, the forest crowding right up against the back of them. I hated that we'd come here to hunt and do whatever else was involved with that, that we were wasting a place as beautiful as this, so far out from the tourists and so clean and relaxing.

Our cabin had two single beds in the first room and a double bed behind a little sliding door, a fireplace with three cosy chairs around it, and a little dining table. Wooden floorboards and wooden panels on the walls added to the cosiness. There was even a hammock outside on a little porch. We were right against the forest, the very last cabin.

We took one look at the bedding arrangement and agreed that we'd take turns sleeping. Daniella needed a nap right now. So she slid into one of the single beds while Savannah and I sat at the table with our laptops. Reception here wasn't too bad, thankfully, and I called Jeremy while she did some kind of 'blanket' thing around the room.

"Anne? What's been going on? Clayton's ignoring my calls." His voice cracked a bit but was loud enough for me to hear.

"There's a problem. Here, Savannah can explain it." I handed it to her and she explained as clearly as she could what she suspected. Then she handed it back to me after a few minutes of questions.

"We're on our way."

"Not with the babies, Jeremy, you can't do that."

"Paige, Lucas and Hope are here." In other words, he was leaving poor Paige and Lucas to deal with our triplets while Hope tried to care for her baby. Four babies in the house, three kids and three adults. "Pav and Vi are here now. They'll remain as well. So we're coming. No arguments. Your address?"

I gave him the address of the place, with Savannah's help, and he nodded. "Don't move. We're coming. Yes-" He paused, fending off someone, and I could hear Reece in the background. "-I'll ask. Have you found Daniella?"

"She's resting."

"Or trying to!" Daniella called. "Tell Reece to calm down. I'm on holidays."

Jeremy could hear that. So could Nick and Clayton, apparently, or whoever they were, the blanket seemingly gone as soon as her voice raised. I said my goodbyes and hung up as they came to knock.

"Reece calling again?" Clayton asked. He flopped in one of the chairs.

"Just checking up on me." Daniella sat up and glared at Clayton. "Can you bugger off now? I'm exhausted."

"You should get some rest, Clay. You look tired." I said, moving across to him, intending on sitting beside him. I stiffened slightly as his hand ran up my leg, far too familiar for Clayton, before he pulled it and me down into his lap.

Yep, something was seriously wrong with this man.

"We all need some rest." Savannah muttered. She glared at him as she yanked me back up. "Go away before we tie you to our beds and steal your cabin for sleep."

Clayton stood up and headed back outside. "We'll be back at seven for dinner. Don't disturb us or we'll tie you to our beds."

Savannah nodded and when he was gone, locked the door, before turning to us. That spell, that 'sound blanket' thing, came back down over us. "Keep voices low. It keeps the spell working. We better get into bed."

"We'll sleep out here in the main room. If anyone tries to sneak in we hear about it faster." I offered and she nodded.

We crawled into our beds, voices low so we could hear each other.

"I'm glad you're here." I muttered, softly, glancing at Daniella. She blinked at me, surprised, and looked confused, like maybe I was kidding. "No, I'm serious. You're strong and if Reece trusts you, I trust you. It's lucky you came..."

She lifted up on one of her elbows at that, face red with something, almost like embarrassment.

"I need to talk to you. I know we've got another problem but ... I need you to know why I need to be with you. Please" She muttered. For a chance, Daniella wasn't angry, she wasn't challenging anyone, she looked exhausted. She glanced at Savannah. "Stay here. Please."

Savannah nodded and I rested down on my bed. I didn't know what'd triggered this, why she had to say it now, but I wasn't going to argue.

She told me about how she'd gotten captured.

Her father had told her to go to America to bring home Reece, that he'd forgiven him, that he would allow them to marry. So on a plane she got, trusting her dad, and flew to LA. She got a message in the airport that she'd be picked up by his friends in an hour.

At the time Daniella didn't question how Reece had her new number, why he was sending friends instead of going himself, she'd been too happy with the idea that he'd forgiven her and that she was going to see him again.

She was taken the the alpha.

Daniella struggled to speak then, pausing a lot, but it was sort of clear that she'd been a human for a month and a half before she was bitten, and that she'd been raped enough times to get pregnant, not just by the alpha, but by the others too who were jealous he got a pet. She couldn't say the word rape. She could only say hurt, or forced, or used, the real word that summed it up impossible for her to form. I understood that... it made it real. It made it impossible to ignore.

It also ate away till the person was so wounded that they couldn't be anything but angry at the world.

I had to stop her, like Elena had with me, made her say the word. And like me, she got so angry that she couldn't speak for five minutes, until finally she said it.

"They raped me. Happy?"

When she agreed to keep using that word, her teeth clenching, she continued. When they'd gotten tired of playing their games the alpha bite her without knowing she was pregnant and she'd been relieved when she'd lost the baby, because she didn't think this kind of world was right for any baby, didn't want a daughter to be raped, didn't want a son to become like one of his fathers.

She'd had very little medical care, compared to me, most of it rushed in later, and had survived on sheer will. Daniella refused to die without first maiming him. We'd been brought into the cages around her around a month later, though she really couldn't be sure, only guessing that from when she'd been taken and when I'd been taken.

Daniella had gotten dangerous. She forced herself to control it so early on that they couldn't go near her without drugging her. They sometimes went back in to rape her again but with so many choices of their own she was more or less ignored most of the time. The alpha got bored of her in favor of his new pets and she was given to someone else.

She was given to Troy.

I knew when she said his name that the story was going to get worse. She couldn't look at me now, she was trying to shred the sheet in her hands, her body shaking with suppressed emotion.

He'd loved how tough she was. Used her for his tests. Put a newly bitten male werewolf in with her while she was drugged and with a teenage human still in her uniform, a fully concious girl who'd been a virgin, to see which the newly changed werewolf would prefer. That, as she was speaking about it, showed more grief than anything else she'd told me. She couldn't feel sorry for herself but for that girl, who she'd never known, never heard the name of, she was close to tears for her. I didn't ask what'd happened to her and she didn't tell me.

Troy started to rape Daniella with his son daily, taking turns, but it wasn't about power. It was like he was trying to achieve something and when she got pregnant again, she understood what. He waited until the baby was three months along, just as Daniella was starting to show and feel affection for it, and cut out her entire uterus.

I suddenly understood why she couldn't stand our children. Why she'd destroyed Iven.

"Then you come along, and you're free, and you've got this mate that cares for you. I hated you when I met you. Hated you for being so unhurt. Hated you because Reece adored you and loathed me when I'd come to find him. I couldn't stand being in the same room as you or Reece. Even when he forgave me... I still can't forgive him." She growled softly, shaking. "I know, before you say it, he didn't have any way to stop it. But every time I try and tell him what happened it's like I'm trying to make excuses for what happened to his family, trying to manipulate him to care for me. Make him suffer for my wounds as well as his. I can't do that."

"So he doesn't know?"

Daniella shook her head. She kept her eyes on the shredded sheet. "Only that I can't have children. I didn't tell him why."

"If you hate me, why are you here?"

"I don't hate you. I mean, I did, but ... I didn't think. I just saw you happy, and loved, pregnant, moving on with your life, and it pissed me off so much that I wanted to strangle you. I didn't know you'd suffered too, even though that's the logical conclusion when we came from the same place, hated how well you were doing. Then I overheard that you'd been raped, and it sounded like it wasn't the first time either, so I ... I suddenly knew you were hurt too. And I didn't want you to come here alone. I decided to come and help you make an example of what happens to men when they rape women." She finished, finally, her entire body tense. Daniella glanced at me then. "I don't care if I'm banned from the pack or from Reece. I'm going to squewer that bastard on a pole when we get him."

"You should tell Reece." I said, softly, and she blinked at me. "I wanted to hide it from Nick to make sure he didn't suffer too but ... he suffered when he didn't know, becasue he could tell I was hurt."

"Reece doesn't-"

"Is he your mate? Can you tell when he's upset?"

She blinked at me and nodded, slowly.

"Then he knows."

We went quiet and listened to the sound of the rain outside, heavy, loud, filling our nostrils with the dampness. Now that Daniella seemed ot have finally spoken what she'd needed to say she seemed to be deflating, her shoulders falling, her chest heaving with the weight of what she'd finally been able to share.

"Why tell me now?"

"I trust you now. And I'm tired. Not just from the plane. From not ...not being able to tell someone. Someone who knows what it's like to be hurt like that. You wouldn't call me a whore."

"No fucking way." I swore softly and she relaxed at that.

Savannah spoke up, softly, clearly not wanting to interrupt, but she seemed to have something on her mind. "Have you sensed anything from Nick now?"

"No. He's gone fuzzy." I couldn't tell what he was feeling or thinking, like he couldn't feel or think. "I thought I was tired and _I'd_ gone fuzzy."

"When was the last time Nick seemed to be normal to you?" Daniella seemed glad for the change of topic. She leaned up with interest, actual interest, brushing her blonde hair out of her face, brown eyes fixed in mine.

"Airport. Maybe ...the plane. He was _very_ normal on the plane. When we were at the hotel I remember feeling this uneasiness about him being there. I thought I was annoyed with him for breaking the plans."

"Clayton?" Savannah said, softly. The rain was helping cover our voices but I wondered if she'd done something else too. I couldn't hear voices outside the room either.

"He would have called Jeremy, I think, Nick broke an order to stay behind. A light order but an order. But I never saw him do it. The last time he threatened to do it was when he was going to the bathroom." I could see it, the way he'd come back, phone still put away, and he hadn't pulled it out.

"So maybe the two of them were taken there. The crowds would have been loud enough to cover it." Savannah muttered something. "If they needed to rest then they'd have had to share a room."

"Which they did." I muttered and she nodded.

"There's two possibilities I can think of, if we ignore the fact that they're werewolves. First is body possession, using Nick and Clayton's bodies like puppets, which gives Nick and Clayton a chance to break free but strengthens during sleep. The second is a glamour smell that mimics everything you smell, hear and see. It's more difficult to hold, sleep affects it, but no chance of it being broken without a serious wound or problem to the original body." Savannah spoke soft but she was hurrying now, as if she wasn't wanting them to come in and overhear. "Don't wound them until you're certain."

The blanket suddenly lifted, that was the best way I could describe it, and we heard movements in the other cabin. We resumed our 'sleeping' though I doubted any of us could really sleep. There was a knock on the door, after five minutes, a key unlocking it and Nick peering in.

"You all right? It got pretty quiet."

"Shut up, Nick." Daniella growled, throwing a pillow, rolling over in her bed. "We're sleeping."

He blinked and nodded, before backing off. "Okay. Just checking. We'll be asleep for a while, I thought I'd warn you, Clayton's a bit cranky... better to stay away from it for a while."

"When's he not cranky?" Savannah muttered, yawning a huge yawn. "Go away before _we_ get cranky. Come back with dinner at seven."

He left, Daniella stood up to relock the door, though it was pointless if they had a spare key.

"Don't speak a word about Jeremy coming." I warned. I didn't have to, of course, but they nodded.

We lay there for some time, unable to sleep, the three of us stressed out. Daniella finally managed to fall asleep though, when I came to sit beside her, finally allowing the close contact that was normal for werewolves to enjoy. I kept a hand on her side as she slept.

When she woke, some hours later, we discussed how we could find out which it was. Poessison or glamour.

"If they're being used, we need to wear their bodies down. Eat as much of their dinner as we can get away with. Keep them up late. Challenge them to watch things that they'd normally not tolerate. Like..." Savannah stood up and went to pull out a white bathing suit with a very low cut neckline. "Anne, if you wore this in front of Nick, while there were strange human men in the pool, would he mind?"

I shook my head.

"What about this?" She turned it around so I could see the other end.

It was backless with just a little tie holding the uppar part of it against my chest. Sure, my scars would be out, but so would everything else. Not just that though. It may not have been a g-string, or a thong as Americans called it, but it was bloody close to one. "He'd hate that. In front of him, sure, but in front of strange human men..."

"While at the giftstore I invited some of the guests for a evening swim with us. Here." She threw it at me and I stared at it. Strappy, laced up kind, and a g-string? I wasn't sure how I'd wear it. "It won't go see-through wet. So I want you to wriggle your hips, walk around, and make sure you get soaking wet in the pool in that."

She handed Daniella a green and white printed bikini with a similar design. Daniella scowled at it.

"We're using our bodies as weapons here. Men don't know how dangerous women can be sometimes." Savannah pulled out her own, a black bikini, a wicked grin. "I came prepared for Brazil. Rio's beaches are famous."

"So we ..."

"Steal as much of their food as we can. Take them swimming, prance around in these things in front of the Brazilian soccer players, and wriggle hips. Oh, and splash each other." Savannah grinned wider. "Giggle. That kind of thing. If Nick is in that body, and he sees you behaving like that..."

"He might want to drag me off into the cabin."

"Exactly."

We rested and got changed into our bathers. We decided we'd weaken them first, have dinner with them while dressed like that, before dragging them down to the pool. It worked too. Clayton and Nick's eyes struggle to keep on their plates and off our chests. Pregnancy had done one wonderful thing for me- it'd made my breasts larger, which while was a pain in the ass most of the time, right now it was an asset. They didn't even seem to notice that we stole food off their plates or that they'd eaten less than usual.

It continued in the pool, only now, we had others to 'flirt' with. There were a number of men to see the way we were dressed, we did what Savannah suggested, even adding a little bit. It felt awkward and strange for me though, to behave like that, to be dressed like that, but apparently that awkwardness only added to it. Before long we'd had Nick and Clayton glowering at any male person that moved, until they each retreated from the werewolves as the hours ticked on.

Nick and I were last in the pool. I kept slipping out of his grasp, moving to head up the stairs, when he pinned me against them. Hands slid up my sides, pulling me back down, the reaction to the entire night's teasing obvious. I struggled somewhat as he pulled my behind against his hips, hand sliding up my top and under the fabric, groping my breasts. I flushed and pushed his hand down. Trying to remind myself that this might not even be Nick, even though it smelt like Nick, even though it looked like him. I struggled as he pushed me against the wall with his feet able to touch the ground at this depth where I couldn't.

"You've been teasing me all evening. No one's here." His hands pulled my breasts out, nipping at them, clearly aroused as something prodded me through his shorts. "Let's have some fun before you go."

Daniella kicked him in the head and yanked me out of the pool. She threw one of the lounge chairs at him, as he protested, while I tugged my breasts back into place. I saw Clayton then, a mask of fury as he stared at Nick, like he was about to give him hell and was just waiting for us to leave in order to do it. Huh. That was odd.

"I need to go sleep." I decided. It was after midnight now, we'd kept them up long enough, and I didn't need to be molested by Nick. Real Nick _or_ fake Nick. Daniella nodded, glaring at him, and we headed back to the cabin side by side.

Savannah rolled her eyes when we told her that. "Well, at least he'll struggle to sleep now."

We agreed to take turns sleeping, two sleeping while one stayed up, deciding that it was safer for one of us to be awake at all times. I got the first shift, two hours, while Daniella and Savannah curled up in the smaller room. They'd slid the double bed to one side and tugged a single mattress inside the room. As much as I was starting to like Savannah, I knew even that'd be hard to sleep on with her in the room, but we needed to rest.

Two am, I crawled into bed, Daniella took watch, and I got back onto watch at six am, allowing the last two to sleep in a little bit. Then I fell asleep on the double bed, for my last sleep in, while they shut the door between the two rooms and made both single beds look like they'd been slept in again.

When I woke, the smell of breakfast and two male werewolves made it obvious that Clayton and Nick had come in at some point. They looked less exhausted and more focused. I snuck outside as they talked, Savannah and Daniella coming with me, using the gift shop as an excuse again.

"Clayton isn't letting Nick sleep with me." I said, softly, as we walked through the rain. "It's strange. He behaves like ..." I was going to say like the alpha, but I couldn't.

"Then you should try sleeping with him. Just try." Savannah suggested. She glanced back at the cottage. "See if Clayton objects."

"What if Clayton thinks he should sleep with me?"

They blinked at that, freezing a moment.

"Why would he..."

"She thinks he's the alpha." Daniella understood. She stared at me, then nodded, slowly. "He does act possessive when he wants something."

"It'd prove that he's not Clayton, wouldn't it? And it'd separate them for a moment."

"It would, yes." Daniella didn't look like she liked the idea though. We went inside the gift shop, lifting up objects, buying useless little trinkets as if we were buying presents back home.

"We'll try it when we get back." Savannah said softly. "I'll deal with Nick. You deal with Clayton if you can."

When we got back, Nick was stretched out looking at something and Clayton sitting in one of the dining chairs eating. I wandered up to Nick, who was stretched out on Daniella's bed, awake, reading his phone. I ignored Clayton. The fear that this was not Nick drummed in my heart, making it beat fast, every instinct in me warning me to stay away until I was sure... but this was the only way to be sure.

"I can't seem to relax. It's been a while since the plane too." I told him as his eyes came up to meet mine. I kissed him and asked him if he wanted to show me his bed, straddling across him, the bizare mix of signals I was getting making it hard to concentrate. He inhaled, hands sliding up my rear and grinned so wide that, for a moment, I thought I had to be mistaken. That this had to be Nick.

Then Clayton pulled me off him and shook his head. Glared at Nick. "Forbidden. Come with me, I'll help you work off that excess energy."

I felt my heart sink. I knew now I was right. Neither of them were the right people. I was glad he couldn't see Daniella, because the look on her and Savannah's face for a fraction of a second was shock. Then they wiped it off and went back to playing 'games' on our phones. No one who had spent two days with our Pack had the delusion that it was an orgy 'free for all' with the women. Apparently, though, this was a general assumption outside the pack.

"All right." I smiled, pretending it was Nick, using every last scrap of my abilities to keep from screaming or recoiling. "As long as you promise to really exhaust me."

I waited for Nick to object, to protest, to get angry. But he got neither. He went back to reading, looking like a naughty schoolboy caught doing something wrong.

"Come on." Clayton grabbed my arm and led me outside and into the other cabin, steering me in, pushing me against the door the second I was inside, the door slamming behind me, his hands already yanking my legs up around his waist as he ground hips into me. Lips found mine, strange lips, lips that were shaped like Clayton's lips but whoever it was, was not Clayton. He wouldn't have touched anyone like he was trying to touch me now, never, no matter what the alpha assumed about the Pack.

And no matter how much Nick loved Clayton, he'd never let him do this. Not seriously. He'd objected enough to a hand on my knee.

I felt his hand between my legs, unzipping his pants, like he just couldn't wait. His hurry was as shock, even frightened me and I had to hurry myself because he was already pulling his erection out of his pants, a finger pushing aside my panties. That was fast.

I jabbed the souvenir envelope opener into it and started to close them. He froze, as they cut in, unable to move with my legs tightening around him.

"What..."

"Move an inch and I'll cut." I hissed, soft. "Shh."

"This is new." He didn't move, his face draining a little, body frozen. "Still, darling, I'd prefer it if you put something else around my cock."

I had to look down, though I really didn't want to see Clayton's erection, make sure I had it right. He inched forward, pressing against the parting there, as if he was testing me. I had to repress a shudder at the feeling of that. It felt so wrong.

I jabbed down somewhat and blood beaded out. He hissed and withdrew his hips. I had him at a stalemate and he knew it.

But what if he was Clayton? What if I did cut it off? Maybe he saw a flicker of indecision in my face because one of his hands suddenly dropped one of my legs, throwing the opener thing out of his way, and ramming his fist into me, his blue eyes narrow with anger. And then he was pushing it against me again, so slow, teasing me, teasing my inability to hurt him. I wanted to claw at it, claw at him, yank it off, treat it like I had with Tyler's one. But what if it was Clayton? What if this was his body and I might injure it badly?

With the alpha, I'd have been able to keep eye contact. With Clayton, I couldn't. I couldn't even look at him. Oh, I knew it wasn't him, but the hurt was still there, that this was happening. But I had to try. I lifted my eyes up, slowly, trying to see. Trying to tell if he was possessed or pretending with that glamour thing. His eyes kept tensing, squeezing, like he was warding away a headache. And the second my eyes locked with Clayton's blue ones, the tip of it just trying to push in, I saw the hurt and shock in my face reflected in his eyes a fraction of a second before he roared, shoving me away, stumbling back, clutching at his head. He collapsed, clutching to it, hands digging into his blonde curls as he shook his head and growled, body convulsing.

I saw Daniella appear on the other side of the cabin, out of his sight, her eyes narrowing at the sight of what was going on. Opened a window, slowly, sliding in, a pen in her hand. There'd be no mercy from her, I could tell from the look on her face, her thumb pressed against the back of the pen for extra leverage. But she hesitated as he ignored her, ignored me, his body falling onto its side as he convulsed.

Savannah pushed the door open and took one look at him, forcing Clayton's face to look at hers with strength I'd have never guessed she'd have, before she did something. I didn't know what it was. The alpha's face flashed across Clayton's face, just a moment, before his eyes became focused again.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He groaned, rubbing his head, and I didn't need anything more coherent from him to know that this was the real Clayton. I could see it, I could smell it, and I could see it in the shame in his face when he looked at me.

He stood up, trying to push himself back into his jeans, hands shaking. I flopped down then, relief flooding me, relief that he wasn't hurt. That I hadn't tried to yank it off. Maybe the alpha had hoped I would harm Clayton? I had no clue what the hell he was trying to do.

Clayton knelt beside me, shaking, reaching out across to touch my arm. He hesitated, I reached out to grab it instead, and he released a shuddering sigh. I told him, eyes down, trembling,"I was just about to repeat Tyler's treatment on you. I'm glad I didn't."

"I'm so fucking sorry. I ...I tried, I couldn't stop him. Then I saw the look in your face and I saw Elen-" He cut off. "Are you hurt?"

"No." I finally met his eyes, seeing the horror and rage, relief that it hadn't gone further than that. "No, I'm not hurt, and if you try and say sorry for something he did, I'll ...well, I'll do something bad." I couldn't think clearly enough to think of a threat. "His mind. It was his mind doing it. Like some sick fantasy. Not you."

"You couldn't have broken that one easily." Savannah said, softly, arms crossed. "I managed to weaken everything in here once I'd gotten the other one in a bind."

"Fuck." Clayton said, softly, shaking his head, sweat beading off him. We sat there, Daniella standing by, Savannah watching.

"What about Nick?" I turned to Savannah, finally.

"You better come and see." She stood up and we managed to stand, both our legs shaking, Daniella moving past Clayton to grab me around the waist.

Nick wasn't there. It was some strange man, a gash across his arm, arms bound hard behind his back. He smirked at us as we entered.

"Have fun with Clayton?"

Clayton hit him, hit him so hard that he fell and hit the floor, a nasty crack quickly followed by the man slumping. We grabbed his arm as he went to go again.

"He's a sorcerer."

"Are you sure? He smells like a fucking werewolf to me." Clayton growled.

"Witch." We heard him, a feeble voice, as he fought unconsciousness, eyes coming up to meet hers in pure loathing. He spat the word at her like it was an insult.

"He's a _weak_ sorcerer." She did something to him which made his body freeze and his mouth close, probably some kind of spell, and glanced at me. "Was keeping up the possession on Clayton by being close to him at all times."

"What about Nick?"

"They must have him." She replied, eyes falling then. "Sorry."

I tried to nod, tried to be brave, but it didn't work. The fuzziness with Nick was still there, if worse, and I didn't feel him. I didn't feel anything. Daniella's arm tightened around my waist as I managed to get to one of the beds and sit down.

"Clayton?"

Clayton looked up to Savannah, from me. "Yeah?"

"You need to go to sleep. We need to make sure you're not ...we need to be sure."

"We need to prove you're I'm still you. Sleeping does that." I explained and he nodded at me. Trust was there between us. Savannah wouldn't have been able to ask him to do much in the state he was in now.

He flopped into one of the beds. I didn't know how he'd fall asleep, he was tense, upset, still shaking. But Savannah seemed to have thought of that, she handed him a little envelope which he sniffed suspiciously, before opening. Another inhale of the contents, so careful, so cautious, before he held it up to me to smell. Suspicious Clayton. Yep. It was him all right.

"Smells like Jeremy." I inhaled that smell, that faint smell that always came with that relaxing response, and he nodded a fraction.

"Jeremy sent it to me, told me to leave it sealed. He thought we might need them." She said quietly.

"How long does it work?" He replied.

"One pill, six hours, just to get someone into sleep. So break it in half."

Clayton nodded. Broke it in half, handed me the envelope, and swallowed it without water, before resting back onto the bed. He fixed his eyes into mine, that guilt still there, but obvious trust too. Maybe more than there'd ever been. "Stay put."

I stayed put.

We waited till Clayton was awake again and the grogginess was gone before we discussed anything. The man, werewolf or sorcerer, whatever he was, was forced to take a pill as well, one from Savannah's own stash, apparently a strong sedative. He was left on the floor afterwoods, arms bound behind his back, no one even bothering to get him a blanket.

While he stood watch, I showered, and I stood watch while he did the same thing. As far as I was concerned, we'd both been attacked at the same time, I couldn't hold a grudge against him for that. The alpha, on the other hand, was going to get more than his fair share of pain.

We headed back into the main room where Daniella and Savannah were accepting food from a person at the door, sliding it onto the little dining room table, a tropical breakfast feast.

"So what do we do with the other one?" I asked, making myself eat, and when Clayton didn't eat, pushing the plate at him too. Even Daniella seemed to be releasing her guard she'd had around him for the past number of months, the defensive anger fading, sneaking one of her pieces of bacon onto his plate while he was distracted.

"I'll have to call Lucas. Who'll have to call his father, most likely, the head of the Cabel. The sorcerers." We heard a sudden struggle from the corner at that, the strange mutt panicking, which made me wonder kind of organisational system the sorcerers had. It had to be significant if he was afraid of them. "They'll probably want to take him over, which will involve discussions with Jeremy if he's also werewolf, and that's assuming that we've got reception. So you'll have time to question him and find out where Nick is. Nick and the alpha. Maybe he'll be smart enough to cooperate."

Savannah looked small, fragile, but I suddenly saw her power, the darkness there in her face as she looked at him, knowing exactly what kind of man this one was. She'd just overpowered this sorcerer on her own and blocked another one from using a body and now didn't flinch at the idea of torture.

"Here, catch." She tossed me a small video camera. "Goes straight to the internet and saves there for any future uses."

Clayton moved up to tower over the werewolf, arms crossed, one of the semi-sharp knives in his hand as he looked down at the man. No anger, no rage, but there was a coolness there, an indifference, like he was deciding how to tackle carving up a pineapple instead of a living creature. It was a face far more frightening than any glower or angry look. "We should be good guests and do this ..."

"Oh, of course." Savannah nodded. Clayton hoisted him up, told Daniella to fill the little portable freezer chest with ice that was in the back of the four wheel drive, and we headed after him into the forest. Daniella hurried after us with it.

We walked for a good half hour, through the soggy ground, the tropical bush, occasional bouts of rain washing down onto us and making us as soggy as the world around us. When Clayton was satisfied he was far enough away he dumped the man on the ground, tore off the man's shirt, and gagged him with it.

"If he wants to talk, he'll make it clear." He decided. "Go stand watch."

Daniella and Savannah moved away. I refused. I crossed my arms and stood there. Not watching, exactly, but still there. Nearby. I rested the video camera on a log, panned it in on the man, and waited.

Clayton blinked at me.

"I'm practising for the alpha."

He nodded a fraction, told me to keep quiet and not tell Elena what I saw, and got to work.

It was difficult to watch, but at the same time, so damn easy to see. It didn't seem real almost, or was that all the bad video games I'd played from time to time with my nephews? He broke bones, cut things, that same unemotional expression on his face, the indifference to the man still frightening the hell out of me. But the man wasn't a strong person in the face of pain and just the fear of it had him babbling early on.

He was the alpha's younger brother. Worked for him. Amplified his spells. They'd gotten Nick hopping off the plane by having a fake me head into a dark corner, like luring a baby with candy, and had cornered Clayton in the bathroom. The alpha wanted to his body. The ultimate territory invasion. Going into a werewolf's mind and body and forcing it to do things it would never do. Like raping me, for example.

They were both sorcerers. Their father, an old man, had been bitten before he'd conceived them. He ran the show, though he ignored his sons pack, preferring his old life as a sorcerer. Being a werewolf was an inconvenience, not a gift, to the old sorcerer and Jason had followed in his father's footsteps. Or tried to. Aaron had formed a pack of his own out of werewolves he'd found across the world. Jason, the man pretending to be Nick, didn't run with the pack. He stayed with his father. He'd just helped Aaron out. It wasn't his fault. He was always left out of things his brother did, and his father thought he was weak, so he thought he'd prove he was strong by helping Aaron.

Clayton didn't seem pacified by that whine. I had to look away then, as one of the larger bones were broken. He didn't care about his excuses, he wanted to know where Nick and the alpha was. Exact address. No fucking around.

Jason refused to answer, face white with pain, the stench of blood and other fluids still soaking into the rain.

"Tell me," He asked as he gestured me over. "Does Brazil have plastic surgeons?"

"Ye... yes."

"Would you have fucked Anne, pretending to be Nick, even if you knew she didn't want you?"

He flinched as Clayton moved closer with the knife, my smell sinking into his nostrils as I came across, and nodded, his body shaking.

"That's called rape, did you know that?"

Another shaky nod. "I... I... thought it wouldn't matter. So much. A bit of harmless fun. You don't get women that smell like her here."

Rage filled my head, my body, as I stared at him. "You'd rape me because you think I smell good and call it harmless fun?"

"Ye...yeah. I'd be nice to you though. You'd like it. All the other girls do. They like it at the end."

Clayton handed me the knife. "Here's the deal, kid. You give me an address or I have Anne here show you how she has her harmless fun."

"She wouldn't..."

I did. Just a little bit, just a cut, but his eyes grew wide as he screamed. Apparently that was enough to scare the crap out of him.

"Here's what I'm going to offer you." Clayton said, voice so low that the man had to quieten down. "You shut the fuck up, you tell me where the alpha is, and we leave it on. You don't and we cut it off, then ask again, very nicely. If you still don't answer, we will throw it away, so that no surgeon can ever reattach it. You understand?"

A nod, the man shaking so hard that he struggled to move, and then he slumped. Clayton woke him quickly with a kick to his broken arm.

"Address."

We got it.

Clayton dragged him back to the car, not caring if he left a trail of blood, and we met him at the road so that no one saw the injured man. I had to go get a special sheet from the main building of the place, one for 'bed wetting', and he waited in the forest till I had it so we could wrap the man up inside it and leave him there.

"Are we changing?" I asked Clayton, as he drove carefully. He shook his head. "Well, are we going straight in?"

"I can't decide. Fuck." Clayton pulled over and twisted around to look at the three of us. He was still upset about what he'd nearly done to me, I knew, and the knowledge that Nick was in danger... "Someone give me their phone."

He was trying to ring Elena, I knew that, seek a familiar voice to calm down. When she didn't answer he scowled.

"Might be on the plane."

He nodded. We sat there, watching the rain come down again, trying to think. Clayton might have usually known what to do but right now...

I turned around to Savannah and Daniella. "Can you go for a moment?"

They nodded, sliding outside, and I turned on Clay.

"What's wrong?"

He scowled at me. Crossed his arms. This was not the kind of interaction he liked. I knew that but I wasn't going the scared off by his face.

"Don't give me that look. What's wrong?"

Clayton didn't answer, didn't sigh, but he returned his gaze to out the window. Finally, "I felt it. Every sick fucking thought he had. Every sick fucking desire. I can't think now. All I can feel is that … that desire to rape someone. It's like he's left part of himself in me."

"You wouldn't rape."

"I can feel _his_ urge. How pleased he was when you had _that_ look and how he wanted me to see it." Clay's hands tightened on the wheel and he tried to release them, trying to not harm the car. "I don't fucking get it. How humans get turned on by fear and hurting someone. How they're _proud_ of it. Then some werewolf decides he still likes it too and totally fucking ignores his instincts."

"This is to do with what you said about Elena?"

He nodded, stiff, but didn't volunteer any more.

"Would a run before we continue help? Or do you want to go into it as a wolf?"

Clayton hesitated and glanced at the GPS. We had a good sixty kilometres till we got there. Then he nodded a fraction. "I can do both. You?"

"I can try. Let's go."

I slid out of the car and he followed. We glanced at Daniella and Savannah, who looked surprised, standing under a tree.

"We need to go for a quick run. Can you two guard the car and try and contact Jeremy or Elena?"

"Everything all right?" Daniella asked, glancing at Clayton's back, as he went into the forest, and back to me. I nodded.

"Just need our run. We won't be long."

She slid back into the car, Savannah beside her, and we headed into the wet forest. We left clothing under a tree, backs to each other, using either side of the tree to change. He always seemed to do it faster where as I struggled even now with the pain of it. It took me almost ten minutes to complete it.

Clayton stood, waiting, when I came out from around the tree. To my relief my fur was still the same dark red-blonde it was before I'd dyed it. Maybe, when I got back, I could find a hairdresser to re-dye it to a shade like what I'd had.

I licked my fur, cleaning it, as he paced around. Then we headed off into the unknown forest, shoulders brushing against each other, cautious as we made our way into unknown territory .

I did better in it than Clay did, having already been getting used to America's strange lands, but he struggled with the noses, the smells, and I wondered if a run was a good idea after all. After a few minutes he wheeled around, snapping at me, and I followed him back to the tree.

Nope, that didn't work.

We changed back and got dressed, close to each other, as Clay's nostrils flared.

"What was it?"

"Jaguar." He replied, very softly, eyes moving around the forest. "Recognised the smell from the zoo."

Suddenly he shoved me behind him, eyes narrowing, as a rustle came from the bushes we'd just left.

A slender girl came out of it, naked, long dark hair and almond eyes fixed on us. Her head was slightly odd shaped, mouth turned down, her skin dappled with markings and she hissed, teeth baring, as Clayton growled. Beside her stalked a jaguar, low to the ground, as if it was considering attacking. When she placed a hand on its head it lowered further, eyes narrow, watching us.

"We're leaving." I said, softly, stepping out from behind Clayton. Let her see me. Let her see my face, my still bare chest, not ashamed at all about it. I tugged on my shirt. The woman's eyes dropped down and then back up. "Just needed to get some energy run out."

Her eyes reminded me of the jaguar's eyes.

She inhaled again, sharply, and again bared her teeth. Less threatening though. We were backing off, I was tugging Clayton behind me, keeping an eye on our back.

We slid into the car, Clayton climbing over the middle to get into the driver's seat, and he pulled away as she stared after us from the thick bush. I tugged on my top and glanced back to see Savannah and Daniella looking back after her.

"What was that?" Savannah asked as she stared at the woman, who was fading back into the growth.

"Argument about territory." I responded calmly. "I think we invaded it."

"Was that what it was about?" Clay muttered.

"I told you, there's legends about men and women who changed into jaguars. If she's used to werewolves around here then maybe she's on the lookout for intruders." I sounded so casual about this but the truth was that I was exited. A were-jaguar! Incredible! If only I could have communicated with her...

Daniella's hand grabbed my arm and she pointed outside.

The road was lined with jaguars. Not one, or two, but a dozen or more. Clay slowed down as they stood still, along the road, watching us with an intelligence that was human, not moving backwards or forwards.

"Think they're warning us?"

"Maybe. Or maybe they're curious." I muttered. Or maybe not. One of them came to stand in front of the car, directly in front, standing on all fours with the wail whipping from side to side and Clayton swore and pulled up, the car just an inch from the nose of the great cat.

We jumped as something leapt onto the roof, the metal groaning under its weight, the tips of huge paws peeking over the edge of the windshield. The others came to circle around the four wheel drive, taking positions, watching.

"Now what?"

"I could blast them out of the way..." Savannah said lowly. She narrowed her eyes at one as it stared at her straight through the glass, its teeth baring slightly.

"No." I stared at them. So many jaguars, when they were supposed to be endangered, so _many_. In one place. But they weren't, were they?

The one in front of us bent over, as if it was sniffing something, spine contorting and bending more than any cat I'd seen, as the tail tucked under it. It reminded me of the 'cat' yoga pose, somewhat, before it suddenly bent upwards again. This time it was a person. An old man, toothless, his eyes yellow-green and almond shaped, and the skin crinkled with the signs of many years of aging, but more or less normal looking. We'd been so focused on him that we hadn't seen the young girl from the trees before come in, handing him clothing, and something else. As he turned his back to us, the other jaguars crowded in.

"Guess that proves it." I said softly and Clayton nodded.

He turned around. The old man was wearing faded old shorts and, to my amusement, had teeth now. Dentures? I wondered if I'd ever need to bring Nick his dentures after a change.

He came around to the side door, my side, and knocked very politely on the window. The jaguars backed off as he came through. Some of them were retreating into the forest and I saw them do the same 'bent' pose.

"My grand-father wants to speak to you." The girl called, when he said something to her, surprising me with how well she spoke English.

Clayton shook his head with his eyes going up to where there was still a jaguar on our roof. When I nodded his head he sighed and went to open his door, but one of the big cats slammed it shut on him with an easy push of its broad head.

"Only girl."

I slid out of the car, slowly, glancing back at the big cat on the poor four wheel drive. It was groaning somewhat still, slightly bent, but the big cat ignored me. It was grooming itself up there and it wasn't alone. Beside it was a jaguar cub, rolling around on its back under its parent, paws playfully batting away at the adult's head. These were not the actions of an aggressive cat. Even still, the size of it made my heart pound.

"Mother. Little brother." The girl introduced us, pointing at the roof. "I am Ana. We know all dog people here but don't know you."

"You speak good English." I said, softly, and pointed at myself. "I'm..." I hesitated. I didn't want to start off with a lie, not with these people, but what if they were friends with the mutt?

Ah well. He'd know we're coming anyway.

"I'm Anne. That's Clayton, Savannah, and Daniella. We're not here to start a fight with any of your people."

The girl repeated this to her grandfather who nodded. Then she translated for him.

"You are here why?"

I saw other adults coming out of the jungle now, dressed more or less. Unlike the girl, who's face was distinctly odd with the shape of it and her mouth, they looked normal, except for their almond eyes, all of them with varying shades of that same yellow-green.

"To find the pack of werewolves here."

She nodded a fraction. Repeated it to her grandfather who gestured to the doors.

"They are allowed out now."

Clayton, Savannah and Daniella slid out of the car as soon as she'd said it, quick to avoid the big cat on the roof as they came to stand beside me.

"We don't have much tim-" Clayton started but the old man held up his hand. However old he was, however toothless, he had the same energy as Jeremy, and Clayton couldn't seem to keep saying whatever he'd wanted to say.

"He says you have time. Follow us. Mother will drive the car."

We followed her and her grandfather, the other men and women pressing in around us, mostly out of curiosity. For us, Clayton, Daniella and myself, this was difficult to take. Deep down our senses knew that these people were predators and ones that could probably easily take down a wolf, knew that they were big cats, and we did not take kindly to being surrounded.

At one point, when Clayton growled softly, the old man turned around and barked an order. The men and women backed away from Clayton then, almost looking apologetic, but still discussing us clearly as they stared. Compared to the girl, who's skin was marked with jaguar spots and who had an unusual shaped head, they were so normal it was strange to see them in a jungle like this. They more or less wore regular clothing, the kind of thing I'd seen people wearing in Rio, and aside from their eyes, could have easily passed me on the street. I could barely even smell 'cat' on them now and if I had, I might have assumed the smell came from having cats rather than being one.

"You have friends in Rio." Ana called. She was holding a phone to her head. Another thing to be amazed by- she could get reception here. In a jungle. "We saw them."

A gentle nudge from her grandfather had her quieten and she walked with him, ahead of us, through the thick jungle.

After half an hour we came into a clearing. There were small houses in a circle, a lot like the cabins we'd stayed in, more or less modern looking things with old and new cars, and a dirt road going in the other direction from the middle of the buildings.

"We drive. But it goes different way. Long way." She shrugged. "Quicker to walk. Mother is bringing your car through the long way."

"I hate to be rude but we're running out of time to ..."

Again Clayton was cut off by the old man. He gestured to where there was a gazebo in the middle of the houses, covered and protected from rain, filled with a mishmash of different chairs and things to sit on.

"Please sit."

We had no choice but to walk up the stairs and take a seat, close to each other, Clayton sitting behind us as he waited impatiently. The old man pointed at someone and they headed off into a house.

"He says it's a long time since we had guests. You eat and drink then we talk about what you want to do." Ana sat down beside me. She yawned, stretching, still focused on her phone. I could see her playing with _facebook_.

The other men and women sat around the gazebo, relaxed, lounging, laughing and teasing each other. Like a bunch of relaxed cats, I couldn't help but think, flopping all over the place in their favourite chairs. Some were older, some young, a couple of kids coming out of the houses to gawk at us. They were like Ana- a head that was shaped strangely, the markings, the eyes, but they didn't seem to know or care if they looked unusual. They were tugging on my hair, on Daniella's hair, even daring each other to go touch Clayton's curls, and jumping back with shrill giggles as he growled. That only provoked some of the younger ones, they started to target Clayton specifically, making a game of stalking up behind him and giving his hair gentle yanks. Ana turned around and tried to shoo them off.

"Sorry. They like your hair. Like kittens."

Food was brought out, great trays of it, slabs of meat and other things there. Mostly different meats through. Drink too. Some of it was surprisingly generic, soda I'd seen in Rio, even cola. The kids attacked that bottle with the what was apparently a global enthusiasm for that drink.

As we ate, we tried to talk, but they didn't want to talk business. Ana explained that they always left that for after when they were full so there'd be no arguments. So they asked us questions about us, some of the adults speaking English, some needing Ana to do it for them. Where we lived. Did we have children? Were we married? What jobs did we have? What did our house look like? Had we seen New York City? What did we eat?

Ana's mother drove our car up midway through the meal, a toddler in her lap, and lifted him up to join us. I had to struggle to not stare at him. His head shape was definitely _not normal_. It was almost like a cat's head, rather than a toddler's head, the mouth in an upside down U, his skin covered in the orange jaguar markings, but he seemed to be bubbly and happy.

"We are born like that." Ana explained, when she caught my eyes on her little brother. "We grow up and it changes. When we hit ...change of life... when we are twelve or so... we become like the adults, and we can go to high school. I go next year."

After the meal, when everyone looked full and lazy, the old man sat up straighter. That seemed to get their attention, the adult's eyes going to his. A couple of the other elderly people went to sit beside him- another old man and an old woman. Ana went to sit with her grandfather, and two other children sat with the other two, sitting in their laps or in front of them, the only ones apparently allowed to. The rest of the adults and kids moved to sit and face them.

Ana translated.

It seemed that they already knew we'd be coming this way. A friend of theirs, who was popular with some of the girls here, had told them that a Rose would be coming to find the alpha. She glanced at me. I pointed at me and she nodded. Ray, apparently, was very friendly with these people. He used to come out here when he was younger. He grew up here when his mother abandoned him, found on the streets as a five year old by Ana's grandfather, who could smell what Ray would become. It wasn't unusual for them to adopt the wolves, she explained, because they once defended each other.

They extended this to most other supernaturals, though she didn't use that word, even asking Savannah what she was.

When she said she was a witch there was a shift, suddenly, an uncomfortable sense of Savannah being looked at with a lot less respect. She stiffened.

"We do not usually trust the witch or male witches. Or the blood suckers."

"But we trust Savannah."

A quick exchange before Ana reassured us, "She is welcome when she is friends of the wolves. Please understand- we have bad history with them. Only shamans are trusted."

She nodded, stiffly, but didn't relax.

"My grandfather tells you that the pack of _dogs_," I noticed that she refused to call them wolves, "Are waiting. We decided to stop you from going closer to those..." She didn't need to speak English for us to know she'd called them something bad, the smack across her head from her grandfather was enough to say that. "Sorry. We don't like them."

"I thought you said you liked our kind." Clayton asked, leaning against the edge again, arms crossed.

"Yes. Your kind. They take away the right of being called wolf. They are just dogs. Rabid dogs." Ana spat the last words out, scowling. No hit for that, those of the group who understood her nodded, their own dislike on their face. "Like to chase us around. Like to steal our women. Some we don't see again after. That's why we offer help."

"What if we don't need your help?" Clayton muttered.

She shook her head, pausing, before. "My grandfather sends help anyway. We agree to send our own warriors to hunt with you. Wolves have different way of hunting- you do not hide well, do not stalk well. We will stalk, you will hunt. If you take the alpha dog problem then we will take the pack. They will look for you- not see us."

"Why didn't you do that before if they're a problem?" I asked, softly.

"Because they do magic. We need help." No trace of pride there, no shame for the weakness, a simple truth that no one here seemed to mind her admitting. That was something no wolf would say openly. "You can distract the alpha dog. He is the only dog that does magic, now that you have his brother."

Oh yeah, I'd forgotten we'd captured his younger brother.

"He can still do magic." Savannah warned Ana. "We've just got him stuck."

"That's why we leave him to you." Ana shrugged. "We just kill the dogs. You have the magic users."

"Fine." Clayton spoke up, standing straighter. "When do we go?"

Her grandfather spoke a word, and as people were rising, Ana answered us. "Now."


	23. Hunters

Leaving now, in 'panther' time didn't mean straight away. While we were ready to go, they were more or less wandering around, organising themselves into groups, while the three eldest came around to each group to discuss things.

Patience was something a wolf knew. Even I knew that, and I'd never been on a real hunt yet, some wolves would hunt for days on end to capture the right prey, using tactical skill and intelligence that stunned humans. But patience, when it came to protecting a pack member, was not so easily held onto. I knew Nick was alive. I had no doubt about that. But Clayton and I still felt anxious, high strung, and I couldn't help but feel impatient as the hours ticked by.

We'd received a call from Lucas, some hours after we'd agreed to 'go', letting us know that his father had decided that the Cabel, with the permission of Jeremy, had ordered us to capture the alpha and his brother. Keep them alive. They'd be judged by their own kind, as if the werewolf blood wasn't there at all. I was annoyed until Clayton reminded me that they hadn't said we couldn't... torment him... a little. They just said to return him alive. I nodded, restless, still focused on Nick. Always on him. Like an obsession.

The alpha and his brother, and their father, were from what I gathered, not a common thing. Two supernatural gifts in one creature. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing either for that person. Sure, he was apparently the son of a sorcerer, so that meant he had magic but if he had it, why hadn't he been using it all this time? I'd been forced to see him on a daily basis, sometimes more, and while it was true my memory was hazy of a lot of that time, something like magic would have caught my attention. I hadn't even really thought about it existing till I'd come face to face with a witch at Stonehaven. And I'd never seen the alpha's son, Nathan, show any hint or sign that he'd had it. He might have used it if he had, to escape, to defend himself, but he'd been more or less helpless compared to the two bigger older werewolves.

Where as his brother, Jason or whatever his name had been, was a pathetic excuse for a werewolf. Overpowered so easily it wasn't funny and barely able to break free of his bonds. He still lay there, Savannah was keeping an eye on him, alive and unconscious. She made sure of that.

While we had to wait, the kids took turns impressing us, or bothering us, or playing in circles around us. They were fascinated by us. They even showed off how they changed. It looked so simple for them. One boy, maybe eight or nine, bent onto all fours, legs and arms straight, back curved. Then his spine contorted, bent higher, one hell of a cat stretch, as his body changed right in front of us. It was a seamless change that took him only a minute before he was a small panther, stalking around, doing little roars as he showed off. The toddler, Ana's little brother, was sitting with the older kids and copied the older boy. He was unsteady on his arms and legs, struggling to stay still, but when the change happened he stiffened and balanced perfectly. Humans might have seen his face as 'deformed' but it was obvious why he needed it. For him, the change was easy, just ten seconds, like his young body was made more jaguar than human to ensure that he didn't struggle or get stuck. We watched as the cub chased around the bigger boys and girls, having the time of his life, clearly more at ease and steadier on his legs in this form than he had been as a toddler.

"Does he spend a lot of time as a cub?" I asked Ana, as she played with her phone, and she nodded.

"Babies do. When they get older they start to copy us, so if we stay human, they stay human."

"All babies like you?"

She shook her head. Ana explained to us that some children were born like human babies. They'd be the ones to go to primary school, to learn about the world, and to learn English before all others. They also were taught the old ways of the forest and treated like a kind of shaman. Boys and girls could be born this way, maybe two or three every ten years. They had two girls who were humans, one four, one ten years old, who's families shared a house and were living close to a town with a school.

"Doesn't it hurt to change?"

Ana nodded a fraction. "When these markings go away and our faces look human we feel pain. It goes quickly." She touched the fading spots on her skin.

She sat up straighter as her grandfather made his way across. He spoke to her, then she spoke to us.

"Grandfather says that we're all ready. But first you must walk through each group, one at a time, as wolf so they know your scent. He does not want an accidental hunt on the wrong wolf." She glanced at Savannah. "Walk as human."

She nodded and Ana gestured to one of the small houses. "Go there, you change, we know it is harder for the wolves."

We changed, waited for each other, and padded out. It felt like a waste of time to me, they could smell us easily enough, and my fear for what was happening to my mate was starting to flood everything else out.

Even though they'd been expecting it, they gazed at us with wonder, the three wolves that were nearly as tall as an adult. I went first, pacing through the small groups of adults, and it was hard to do so. Hard to turn my back on predators that set my instincts on edge. They would just have to jump on my back and I would struggle to survive.

They didn't. They just inhaled, their human noses taking in each of our unique scents, the cub and child-jaguar bounding along to sniff and prod with their noses, inspecting us. Ana's mother picked up the cub easily by the scruff of his neck and held him out of our way, the older child pushed aside by one of the adults. I tried to picture what it'd be like, if my triplets could do that, if they'd change into cub and back as if they were falling asleep. It would be _exhausting_.

I watched Daniella as I sat on my haunches, as she made her way through the intimidating groups, having never really seen her before. Her fur was a dark dirty blonde, eyes brown, she might have passed for a real wild wolf with her eyes brown. Clayton followed us up, golden blonde fur making him look a lot more like he stood out, blue eyes vivid as he kept his eyes on us instead of those around him.

When we were done we changed back, redressed, and gotten into a car with one of the elders, Ana explained why we were so unusual to them while we drove.

They had seen our kind of wolf, as the pack nearby was not made up of South American wolves, but the real South American werewolf was very different. She even drew it up on her phone for us to see.

Any werewolf from this land looked very different. They resembled something called a Maned wolf- a smaller wolf that reminded me more of a fox than a dog. Ray, the mutt I'd met in Rio, was one of these wolves. To me it made sense, this kind of wolf was better suited for this landscape than we were, we were heavy, large, and not stealthy when it came to a thick jungle. This kind was thin, tall, huge ears and probably very light footed. She also told us that they were generally gentle natured werewolves, willing to live in a partnership with others to avoid conflict and rarely aggressive. The arrival of foreign werewolves, large beasts, aggressive and territorial, had been a shock to all. No wonder why it'd been easy for them to muscle their way in and force the last of the South American werewolves into isolated cities and I suddenly understood why they'd given up on North America.

The drive was long and several cars left us, moving a little faster than we did, as we passed dirt roads, until the last two cars stopped a good ten kilometres from the address. From here, they would stalk, and in an hour we would continue to drive. We agreed and they slid out, all the hunters except for Ana and another jaguar, who was going to remain near the cars and watch for thieves.

"One hour. Then drive to house." She informed us. We nodded and she slipped away to do her own change. I wondered if I'd have been brave enough to let my own eleven year old do this- guard cars in the face of werewolves- but I had no clue what Ana could do. At eleven years old my kids wouldn't even be able to change. Only Matt would be able to. I wondered what'd he'd be like then.

We sat in the car and waited.

While we waited, Clayton finally seemed to have gotten his head back together now, jaw set as he informed us that he'd lead and that we'd move as wolves . Savannah would drive there and would remain behind Clayton and keep those damn spells away from him. Maybe he was thinking of that electrical one that'd stopped his heart. Daniella and I would follow several metres away, with Daniella being the wolf, hidden waiting for his lead, and I would search for Nick with Daniella. Savannah and Clayton would find the alpha. If he was with Nick, possible, then we'd easily find each other again.

There was a gentle crunch of dirt and mud as the heavy tyres started, a quick skid in the mud as she tried to move too fast, Savannah swearing and trying to slow down. Tyres held. Mud sprayed everywhere. We sank deeper.

"Damnit!" She muttered, opening her door and peering out.

I looked too. We'd sunk deep in mud while we'd sat here and apparently she'd just sunk us a bit deeper. We shut our doors, as she rocked it back and forward, hoping to ease it out.

"This might take a while." She muttered. I growled, before I could stop myself, the delay to get Nick getting even longer. How much longer would he be alive? Would he bother to keep him alive? An hour? A day? Two minutes?

She tried for another five minutes, the four of us getting increasingly impatient, knowing that we were already late to leave. Then Clayton hopped out.

"We'll run."

"Ten kilometres?" I shook my head at him but I was sliding out, much too impatient and panicked about my mate to think. The car was well and truly bogged. So was the other car, for that matter, it'd sunk while we'd waited. Rain, thick mud, and a dirt road did not make for a good combination. How had I seen it done when I'd gone camping with my family? You got branches with leaves, or something, or something to give it traction. "We could..."

"Whatever we do would take half an hour or more."

Half an hour was far too long.

"Let me think..." Nick was there, I assumed, and I felt like he was drugged up to the eyeballs. Why they'd bother, I had no clue, maybe they were hoping to exchange him for something. Money? His father wasn't exactly poor. If the alpha knew our marriage wasn't some 'clever plot' to 'trick' him I doubted that this would be playing out the same way. I tugged off my wedding ring and the engagement ring, Clayton raising an eyebrow, but I ignored that. "Have you been able to get Elena or Jeremy?"

Clayton shook his head. "No use anyway. It was a six hour drive. They'll be miles away still."

Ten kilometre walk? Jog? Run? Sure. No problem. Okay, I wasn't trained in running like he was, endurance still sucked but... sure, I could try. This fear I felt for my mate was almost fuel in itself, I was struggling to hold it down, keep it in control.

"Daniella and I could work on unbogging it." Savannah was staring at the mud. "I might be able to dry it out. We'll meet you along the road."

Clayton only nodded a fraction before he jogged off, and I hurried to catch up, already dreading this. His strength was this, sure, running long distances and physical strength, but mine weren't. At some point I'd have to walk.

He seemed to remember this after two minutes of jogging, glancing back at me, and shook his head. I was already limping slightly.

"You want to change for this part?" He offered.

I nodded, slipping into the bush, wishing that I could hurry this process up. It was difficult though, as I'd done it earlier, and it took far too long for my liking. The more I tried to urge it to move faster the slower it got. Ten minutes had already passed before it was done and I could race back out. Clayton picked up my stuff and we started again at a run now, his feet and my paws finding that pace better, my ears twitching around us to listen to the foreign jungle. It was surprisingly quiet for something that was supposed to be filled with life.

I ran beside him, an easy pace with four legs, paws sinking only a little into the muddy road, mouth open as I panted to keep cool.

The sound of something, a vibration, caught my ears before it caught Clayton's ears. I froze, Clayton skidding to a halt to look back at me, ears twisting backwards as I tried to see what it was. Tried to understand. The connection between human memories and wolf instinct was still not so good for me and it took me a moment before I understood what that vibration, that sound, was. Clayton got it before I did, grabbing me by the ruff and half-dragging me off the road, something only a few in the pack would get away with.

The sound was so alien, so strange in this place, and the sudden smell of the aviation fuel so wrong, that we both cringed. It seemed to slow, right where we were, though I wasn't sure if that was coincidence or not.

I didn't like it. A helicopter seemed like a strange thing to see out here. I was somehow feeling anxious, restless, like I needed to move now. From the jiggle of Clayton's hand on a tree trunk I saw he wasn't feeling any better about it than I was. The last thing we needed was additional problems.

Clayton muttered. "We move faster." He looked stiff though, unsteady, eyes in the direction of the helicopter. I watched him pick up his phone and check it. Nothing. He glanced at the jungle, I suspected he was wondering if it was better to stay in cover, but that would have slowed us down.

We moved out onto the road, when it was gone, and moved faster, his feet pounding against the dirt and mud, my legs working harder than before. How far had we gone? One km? Five? I had no clue. I ran. He ran.

A heavy body barrelled into my side, suddenly, knocking Clayton clear off his feet, teeth trying to find my throat. They found the thick ruff of fur, my own teeth snapping for the wolf's neck as his teeth sunk in, a black wolf that smelt unfamiliar. One of Clayton's boots went for the wolf's side, kicking hard, and it snapped at him as it fell off me, the grip not good enough yet, but I didn't get a step before teeth closed around my bad leg and yanked me down, the wolf leaping back on top of my side, paws pinning me there, teeth coming down on my ear and neck. I yelped, teeth ripping part of my ear, claws digging in, trying to get my head twisted around enough to get the black wolf's neck while protecting my vulnerable throat. It had a good grip now and even Clayton's kick again, although it clearly cracked something in the wolf's ribcage, didn't get it off me. We fought, teeth flashing in the late afternoon light, growling, yelping as teeth found sensitive skin, a serious fight that neither of us held back in. Whoever got their teeth in the right place first would stay alive.

A roar cut through the air.

A wolf may have growled. The Jaguar didn't need to do anything more than announce it was there and crouch with huge teeth bared. It crouched there, the muscles tense, perfectly still, but the yellow-green eyes were locked into the wolf's eyes above me. I felt a tremor go through the wolf, felt it feel fear, before it tensed its muscles as it tried a low warning growl. I felt it shake, trying to bite through the skin, as I snapped at it more instantly, trying to find throat instead of skin, tearing at the wolf's legs, shoulder, tasting blood and flesh and even bone. It caught my neck, eyes still locked on the still jaguar, and I yelped as teeth really sunk in then, tearing at my neck and head.

Something heavy jumped on both of us from behind the wolf. Neither of us smelt it or heard it but we felt it as it pinned us down, great legs pinning the wolf there on top of me, and all I saw was the edge of a great jaw and long thick teeth before a second jaguar bit down on the wolf's head. There was the sound of skull giving way, a crack, a yelp, then the wolf on top of me flopped. I saw Clayton then, some distance away, a second wolf attacking him and ignoring us as it tried to dodge Clayton's attacks back, the man fending it off with the skill of someone skilled with fighting. I stood up, intending on chasing it, but I felt teeth gently close around my neck and yank me back, big teeth, the smell of the big cat in my nose. I growled and it let go, only to grab me when I went to run to help Clayton, struggling against the firm grip. It was holding me like I was a naughty cub.

Then I saw why. While Clayton fought the wolf, his swearing marking where teeth made contact, there was movement in the jungle. The first jaguar, the one that'd distracted the wolf, was stalking through it so quietly that I couldn't hear it. It was moving fast, tail whipping backwards and forwards at the very tip, teeth bared. Then it moved faster, still deadly quiet, a sudden sprint before it was leaping on top of the wolf's back, the great jaw closing down over the wolf's skull, killing it with one quick bite. Those giant teeth had gone right through the wolf's skull and into the brain... _fuck_.

I shivered, as the second jaguar released me, suddenly understanding why these predators made me so uneasy. Face to face, sure, we'd have a fair fight. But these big cats didn't fight face to face. I felt a rough tongue lick at the blood on my fur, inhaled the smell of the one beside me, recognising her as Ana's mother. She backed off when Clayton came back over, resting back to lick at her paws and clean the blood off herself, while the other jaguar dragged the two dead wolves off the road and into the forest.

"You okay?" He checked, as he touched his own wounds, and I nodded as I stepped closer to check his. One on his leg, on his arm, on his hand, flesh wounds, the wolf not getting any clear place to snap at. It showed what kind of fighter Clayton was if he could take on a werewolf in his human body. I was still struggling with my wolf one!

I checked myself, finding a few more than him, not surprising when I had been so shit at it.

"You'll get better as you get older." His gaze went over to the jaguars, the two of them side by side near the jungle, silent and composed while they waited patiently. "Following us?"

A yawn from one of them, a slight twitch of the ears from the other, then one stood up and moved silently to his side. Apparently so. The other stood and melted back into the thick jungle growth.

We started again, slower now that the two of us were slightly injured, but didn't slow much, now with two escorts. Five minutes passed before we heard new vibrations. The three of us moved out of the way, quickly, as a helicopter went back across our heads.

I suddenly had this fear that the helicopter had the alpha. Or Nick. What if it had them both? And he was leaving?

Screw that.

He wanted me, didn't he? I wriggled out of Clayton's grip, racing for the road, chasing after the black noisy object as I snarled at it. _Stop. Come back. Stupid bird. _ Something about that helicopter bothered me big time. Something about it wanted me to make it come back and I chased after it faster, mud flying behind me, ears back and head lowered to get better speed, a low growl deep in my chest.

The human side of me thought this was stupid behaviour. Acting as bait did not work well last time. And here I was doing that stupid bait thing again and expecting someone to rescue my tail.

I just ignored that voice, leaping up, growling as it turned around again, slowed, and hovered.

"Get the fuck back here." Clayton ordered from the jungle, as he struggled to keep up, I could hear him swearing as he tripped on things.

I ignored him. Snap, growl, jump, eyes focused on the big black bird. Maybe after two minutes of chasing something in it noticed me because it lowered, shook, a dangerous predator of a bird that held something I wanted. Maybe it did, anyway, my nostrils were burning with the fuel. The more I watched it the less I felt human, the less control I kept, seeing it as a big noisy smelly bird instead of a helicopter.

Reality struck me in the side as Clayton came out to grab me, dragging me back, but the helicopter lowered more. Ropes slid down, a body with silver hair coming down it in a spectacular display of strength, and I felt a shudder of something in Clayton's hand as he watched her. Relief?

He released me. Moved forward to grab her as she came to the bottom, catching her, a grin on his face.

"Anne, calm down and go change." An order from Elena, though not a harsh one, like she was more amused than annoyed. I didn't refuse it, I backed into the bush as Clayton threw the clothes on the edge of the road. Elena was here and he didn't need anyone else.

"Impressive exit, darling." I heard him tell her while I turned around and trotted to where the clothes had been thrown.

While I changed the helicopter lifted off and retreated. I'd changed and gotten dressed I came out to find not only Elena there but Antonio too. He grabbed me in a bear hug, a huge one, before glancing behind us and freezing when he saw a huge cat growling at him. Warning him.

"It's okay." I said to Ana's mother. I wrapped an arm around Antonio's waist. "They're our pack."

She relaxed, sitting back up, the other jaguar coming out from behind them. Clearly they'd been getting ready for another kill if it was necessary.

"Friends?" Antonio flinched as the other jaguar surprised him by pressing against him as it stalked past, tail whipping our legs, going to sit with her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know your names..." I said to the jaguars. They both shrugged. Maybe they didn't speak as much English as Ana did. "They're were-jaguars. Where's the helicopter?"

"Heading back to town." Elena blinked at them, like she couldn't quite believe it, even though she could change into a wolf. She looked to Clayton who nodded, a smile on his face, so much relief there.

"How are you doing?" Antonio asked me, softer, returning his attention to me. His brown eyes were so like Nick's eyes.

"I don't know." I admitted, the anxiety flooding back, refusing to be ignored now that I'd spoken about it. He squeezed my shoulders. I felt guilty. Okay, so Nick wasn't supposed to be here, but we were supposed to protect each other. The entire time he'd been with me, or the copy of him, I hadn't clued into who it really was, no matter how odd he'd behaved when it came to being intimate. "Nick..."

"He's okay, sweetie. Paid the ransom and he's going back to the hotel in the helicopter."

"You paid..." Relief flooded me, then fear suddenly, anxiety returning in a fresh wave. "No, he might not be Nick, because they..."

"We know. He's Nick. " He gave another comforting squeeze as he checked the bites and blood on my skin, inspecting it, careful to not jar it too much. "Paid him off and we agreed to leave South America on the condition he didn't enter North America again."

"How much was it?"

"More than I'll ever admit. Don't worry about it, the Cabal are going to make sure we get every cent back." He turned me around, checking my back, lifting the blonde hair. "When did you do this?"

"Rio. It was a disguise. Or it was supposed to be." It had been useless. "I want to dye it back when I get home."

"Not as nice as the real colour." Antonio agreed, carefully tucking it over one shoulder so he could check the wounds on the back of my neck. Nothing really seemed to concern him either. He touched the bruise on my shoulder where Clayton had rammed his fist into it, the bruise now a gorgeous purple and red knuckle shaped work of art, and raised an eyebrow. "That looks painful."

"Reece is helping Savannah and Daniella get the car out. We're going to meet them and leave. Let me check your wounds." Elena was checking Clayton as she spoke. Clayton glanced at the bruise and his eyes darkened as he remembered _how_ I'd gotten that one. Still, it could have been a hell of a lot worse, I'd have taken the bruise over other things any time.

I felt relief and resistance to that all at the same time. Part of me wanted to go right to Nick, right now, go back, heal, and start again in the morning. But the other half of me didn't want to retreat.

"I can't just leave now." I crossed my arms.

"We agreed _we'd_ leave after hinting that you might have gone home." Elena's blue eyes met mine, lip twitching up. "And Clayton. By the way, the mutt at the house seems to have lost his pack. Do you know anything about that?"

Clayton nodded his head towards where the cats patiently lay, yawning, dozing against each other. "They had enough of being hunted by the dogs. Are you going to be all right alone here?"

Elena and Antonio nodded, glancing back in the direction of the car. "We'll meet them halfway. Then we'll drive up close enough to be unheard and wait."

"See you soon, darling." He kissed her, hands tangling in her hair, a low inhale as the two stepped close.

Antonio got me in another breathtaking hug, the fresh smell of Nick against his clothing making my heart speed up somewhat, before he stepped back. They started down the road, as watched for a moment, one of the jaguars jogging over to escort them.

Clayton turned first, touching my arm briefly, and I turned to follow him. We walked now, slowly, keeping our feet quiet, now that we knew we were probably not expected. This seemed to amuse the remaining jaguar, the other one, who moved ahead of us, showing us the better path through the jungle, the one that was the least noise and the quickest to the destination. When he froze we froze. This was their land and they knew it better than we did.

The jungle closed in around us, the road vanishing, and sounds came to fill our ears. The jaguar froze, body lowering, head nodding a fraction in one direction. We looked and saw a huge snake on the edge of a river, looking like it'd gotten something to eat, and above it monkeys screeching at it, pelting something hard at it, trying to get it to move on. Several were even edging close to the tail of it, like they were working up the balls to attack it directly.

We moved on, leaving that behind, a low growl from the jaguar as something rushed across its path. Another small furry creature I didn't know. The animal took one look at the jaguar and was gone in a flash with a squeak. Butterflies of all colours sometimes crossed our paths, flowers in the lush greenness, and when it started to rain it barely got past the canopy, dripping down trees and running off gaps.

The smell of sausages was the first sign that we were coming across something that was human. We moved slower, careful, Clayton tugging off his jacket for better ease with arms, my hands reaching up behind me to tie my hair behind my head.

We followed the jaguar in a winding circle, finding that we were upwind from the house as we finally broke into a clear enough place to see it, keeping low as we took in every detail, every window, every door, very slowly and carefully. A voice startled us, a low voice, the jaguar turning into a man who knelt beside us, his dark skin and hair much better suited for hiding than our pale skin.

"All his dogs dead."

"How do you know?"

The man's head quirked to the side somewhat in confusion and then tapped his head. "They say all dogs dead. Only him alive."

Could he hear his pack? ...or whatever it was they called themselves? I wondered if I'd have time to ask that later. How cool though, no wonder why they could work together so well when hunting.

Clayton grabbed my arm and gestured with his head in the direction of one of the windows. The alpha was there, sitting at a dining table, looking so normal that it was hard to believe what kind of ass hole he really was. The house looked so ...regular. Well, okay, it was in the middle of a jungle, and had that 'Brazilian' look which a lot of houses we'd past seem to have, but it had a regular kitchen, counters, some pans and saucepans dangling from the roof, there was even an old woman in the kitchen cooking up what was probably going to be dinner. His mother? His grandmother? A servant?

I had an idea and slipped the video camera out of my pocket. I filmed the alpha sitting there, eating grapes, reading something as he ate. Clayton shook his head at me out of the corner of my eye but this was apart of it. Filming him. Showing him before we got him. Was I going to make an example of him? Fuck yes.

Something got our attention as well as the attention of the alpha. He froze a fraction before we did, the thump-thump-thump vibration of something in the air. Another helicopter? Yes, we could see it over the distant canopy, coming straight at the house. It wasn't a small one either, it was huge, the kind of thing that I'd have expected to see carry troops in a war. I zoomed in on it to see the smudge of a logo on one side as it circled around in a wide circle.

The alpha stood up. I watched him, as he headed for a window, staring up trying to see the helicopter while it circled wide. For a moment I assumed that it must have been friendly- letting him see it before it landed- but when I directed my camera at him again, I saw the second his face caught sight of the helicopter.

There was only terror there. Sheer absolute terror.

The alpha launched himself at cabinet, pushing the woman out of his way, grabbing something, before barrelling out of a door near that room and sprinting for the jungle. I hoped that was a hired woman because if that was how he treated his own family...

I filmed that as well, catching him do something with his hands, a flicker-flicker of his body as he tried to vanish. It worked for around ten metres before he appeared, with five metres still to go till he reached the fence. A quick vault and he was in the jungle, the helicopter hovering over the house, ropes dropping and black bodies sliding down. Professionals. Like the ones I'd seen at Stonehaven.

Clayton's arm came to rest on my arm as I tensed, going to follow the alpha, and shook his head. His head twitched back to the man.

"He crashes like dog. Easy find." The man's face twisted in a scornful look. He tapped his forehead againn. "We keep ears on him."

"Keep filming. They look like the ones you described to Jeremy." Clayton said lowly. I turned, the camera having not left that direction, and saw that the professional ...soldiers?... were advancing on the building. Not just with guns but with something else. Was that magic? Real genuine magic?

A ball of energy, that was all I could describe it as, erupted from one of them and shattered a window. There was the sound of glass tinkering from all around the house, canisters thrown in, the house's broken windows and open door suddenly hidden in a fog of some stinky chemical stuff that I could smell from here. Something went up around the house. Some kind of barrier. It was designed to hold something in, I guessed, because the smoke stuff didn't get past it. They kept a tight circle around it as they waited.

"Cabel." Clayton spat. He sounded almost angry, I didn't understand why, but he slid backwards slowly. "Come on. Let's get him before they realise he's not inside."

I turned the camera off as the jaguar man stepped back, he seemed to get the general idea, doing his 'cat stretch' on all straight limbs. We did what was normal in the wolf world- didn't watch- but I felt like he wouldn't have cared if we had watched. They hadn't tried to hide it from us when they'd circled the car.

We followed him, moving slowly, stalking him on two legs as the jaguar stalked on all four. There was no rush, it seemed, even if I kept expecting those professional soldier people to burst through the bush suddenly, magic exploding trees and stuff. Nothing. Just the sounds of the jungle as the daytime animals settled for the night and the night time creatures started to stir. In here under that thick green canopy it was already getting dark. I glanced up and saw a glimpse of the sky- turning orange and pink. Sunset.

The jaguar didn't leave our sight though, the tail always in our view, our night vision coming to good use in this place. I suspected that these weren't the only predators here but they were more or less the best ones- anything else wouldn't bother bothering one at full strength. I saw something before Clayton did, a huge spider in a web going straight for his face, and yanked him sideways just in time. Maybe it was harmless to us but that web was incredible. Sweat beaded off us in the humid heat, which may have given us away, but it gave away the alpha's trail equally. We could literally smell him on the ground as we found his trail, saw it heading deep into the jungle. We didn't stay on it, the jaguar led us away again in a loose zigzag that curved slowly. The rain started up again, a soaking rain that barely made it past the top layer of trees but ran down all the trunks and made soggy puddles again. Still, it remained hot, the rain and our wet clothing only seeming to increase the temperature.

It got dark, insects, a strange kind of hooting, grunting, frogs. Now, in this stillness, we could even hear where he was. Not his footsteps, exactly, but we could hear the animals around him grow quiet. With us they did similar, though they seemed less concerned about us, maybe because we were making less noise or weren't crashing through the undergrowth. With our guide ahead of us we were being led along the drier routes, the quieter routes, and when we found a river or a small stream, we were led along it to find where a log might have fallen or the water ran shallow. Of course we couldn't avoid the leaves, the sticks, but we seemed to find less of them. The insects, now that it was dark, were well and truly dominating the night's sounds.

Sometimes we'd accidentally disturb something in the trees, a bird, or a monkey, but that seemed to happen anyway, grunts, complaints from above, something moving in the trees. Clayton's body was tense as he continued, low to the ground, his head twisting slightly with every new sound. It was maybe his first time in a completely foreign land. I had grown used to not knowing everything around me while being in America.

I was thinking this just as we heard an almighty roar from some distance away, hard to know how far in this darkness, making us both jump, our hearts suddenly pounding. The jaguar ahead froze, head up, twisting back to us. It didn't seem concerned, I thought, but then I didn't know their body language. Was it worried?

Apparently not. It turned around and continued to move slowly. I started to record again, record the sound of the dark, keeping the light in it off and the shutter closed, capturing the sound of the jungle.

Where was the alpha going anyway? Straight into the jungle? That was madness, it would be so easy to get lost here, unless he was intending on hiding out here till they'd gone.

Another roar, the vibration cutting through the air, maybe closer this time. It was like thunder in the way it shocked the jungle, but it was high pitched, clearly not something coming from the sky. We heard the sound of the alpha's feet changing direction, heard the animals around him go quiet in the crashing, I could even hear him swearing now. He was more or less heading in the direction we were. Fantastic.

We continued to stalk quietly through the jungle. I was full of patience now, keeping my senses on my path and on Clayton equally, as he followed the jaguar. He gave the orders now. I followed the older wolf and he allowed the guide, more or less, to direct him, though I suspected even now he had that deep instinctual mistrust of the other predator. I could sense it too in my own body. Wolves didn't usually hunt with other animals like this. We stayed bent partly down, it was eager to move that way under the plant life, each boot placed carefully down to ensure that if there was a twig or a crunchy thing, we'd be able to take our foot off it before we broke it. Even his breathing was slowed, measured, like he was counting between breathing, it reminding me of meditation, and I copied that too. Slow focused breathing. Calm focused mind. Aware of everything around us.

The sound of a door slamming made us both flinch, even the jaguar seemed startled by the sharp noise, and voices a good distance away. Voices? The alpha and someone else. I wasn't sure who. They seemed stressed, from the pitch, a roar near that place adding to their high pitched sounds.

"They hide in cabin."

Ana's voice made me jump. Again, I'd decided I was aware of everything, I was calm, I was focused, and again this place scared the crap out of me with the were-jaguars clearly much more at ease here than we were. She looked slightly apologetic.

"I tried to walk loud. Twp dogs hide in cabin. We keep them there for you. The other men are coming now. They are coming slowly." She gestured to the forest, in a direction that I wouldn't have guessed as being the direction of the house we'd found him in. Ana took a few steps in another direction, her bare feet not making a sound I could pick out, as she ducked low and moved slowly, her tiny body shifting right before our eyes. Body contorting, colour spreading from the fading markings on her bare skin, her spine literally extending as it flooded with fur. The speed and ease of her change made me envious. She moved beside the male, half his size, nuzzling against his head before she slid into the jungle beyond. Maybe it was her father?

Clayton moved after the jaguar again and I resumed my careful walk-focus-breathe thing, trying to really be aware of the jungle this time, all the anxiety and stress of being in the strange land and being with strange animals reaching a heightened state now that it was continuing.

The lights of a cabin were obvious from far away, even with the thick jungle, like little stars that had fallen into the bush and were twinkling. I saw shapes moving around it, flinching as the sound of something crashing into the bush, something fast moving. Clayton pulled me to one side, we edged closer, circling low to the ground and keeping behind objects. He wanted to see what it was. He tugged it out of a tree, slowly, and showed me in the darkness. A crossbow bolt?

Another terrifying roar, I smelt the fear in the cabin, smelt the fear of a man that'd tormented me for almost a year, and it smelt good. It made me shiver with delight, this smell of terror from him, knowing that right now he was being hunted by a group of people that he must have tormented for years down here. A black shape moved out of the bush, low to the ground, growling as it bared its teeth and I saw him at the door, it open just a crack, something flying out of his hand at the big black cat. It was like the energy ball thing I'd seen the Cabal do to his house, but it was weak -it only lasted a few seconds at full brightness and when it'd gotten across the two metres to the waiting cat, it only managed to knock the cat over, before the black cat was back on its paws, stalking in the jungle around the front of the cabin, the dark fur melting into the darkness behind it. That ball might have been enough to harm Clayton point blank but at a distance? Absolutely useless.

The jaguar tugged at Clayton's leg, carefully, and he followed it around the house again, low, so quiet, the wind cut off in the jungle with the only obvious elements being the rain and a distant rumble of thunder. The insects were almost deafening now, so loud, that I struggled to even hear the voices of the two men inside.

There was a second door. No one was at it, they were probably keeping an eye on the jaguar, and I saw the 'flash flash' of another failed energy ball thing fizzle out, this one not even making it to the jaguar. Another thing flew at it at the same time. Was that a crossbow bolt? The jaguar sidestepped it. They were standing in a lit cabin and it was standing in the dark, hidden, easily melting backwards and forwards. They only caught glimpses of its eyes.

The jaguar nodded at the door. Making it clear this was it. Then it slid away, back to the front of the house, where I could smell other felines, their damp fur filling the air. There hadn't been a smell before. I glanced over to see them, hear the sound of something liquid on things, and realised that they were marking. Taunting the alpha. Roaring and growling.

They were distracting him.

Clayton tugged on my sleeve and his eyes went to the door. I nodded, starting forward through the growth, my heart in my throat as I tried to make it quietly to the door. I could guess that it was locked.

"The entire fucking pride of them's out there." I heard the alpha snap. A crackle, a voice, maybe he was on a phone? "Come pick us up. The Cabal's coming."

Another answer. There was the sound of another man breathing in there, deep heavy breathing, fear making the air so sweet and fragrant. I could hear the other voice now. He had it on speaker.

"_I can't get involved now. I got them to give you the woman, told you to offer her freedom with your dog... pack... and what do you do? Leave her tied up. Rape her. Don't tell me you didn't, I've seen your website."_

"I don't care if you did fucking agree to stay out of this. I offered the bitch freedom like you wanted. Not my fault she …"

"_Chose to be with a pack that doesn't try and mount her all the time like a horny dog? Leave her tied up? You're weak. You've always been weak."_

"Father! I fucking offered freedom to her. No, I didn't untie her, you think I'm fucking stupid? I don't have time for this, I don't have time to argue, there's a bunch of feral cats outside and the sorcerers are coming. Get the helicopter and get me out of here. You want them to find out about me?"

Another reply as we inched closer, slowly, just a few metres now. _"They already know about you. I did my best to keep you hidden, keep you safe, I knew you were too dumb for the real world, I gave you money to live like a King down there, and you fucked it up. Wanted a pack. Wanted to own slaves. Wanted to be an alpha. Abandoned your brother. Now, tell me your grandmother is there then say please. Please, Father, come and rescue me again. Please, father, come and fix my mistake again."_

"I'm not going to fucking say please, Dad. I don't care about your mother."

"_You left her in the house?"_

"She just got gassed out of her head, she should have ran when I did, she's a pain in the ass anyway. Father? ...Dad?" It had hung up, I realised, and I heard the smash of a phone. Rage was well and truly flooding through me now. What kind of person would abandon his own grandmother like that? Or rape people? Or keep slaves? Or...

I was still filming, I realised, still getting this. We were at the door now as the alpha started to argue with the other wolf about what to do. Neither of them seemed to know what they could do. I heard them heading for this door, as if they intended on checking it, just as I reached it.

So I did what any respectful guest would do. I slid to the side of the door, Clayton already on his side, and waited for them to open it and step out to greet us. The door opened, half a body came out, Clayton yanking it out further to deal with that werewolf. The alpha was trying to close the door when I twisted around it, blocking it, and the second I saw the alpha's face, my fist crashed into his face. Shock gave way to something else.

He fell back, unconscious, but I didn't assume that was the case. I slid inside, nostrils flaring in case we'd missed another, but he was alone in there. Grabbing rope from a basket and putting the still running camera on a bookshelf, I grimaced at the smell of the rope a I pulled him onto his stomach. It smelt like blood. I started to tie his arms as I heard a scuffle outside.

"Tie his hands with the backs of them to each other." Clayton called, grunting in pain as the other werewolf struck at him in his gut, his fist coming under the man's chin to give a hard blow to the man's jaw.

I nodded and found the alpha already up, already slipping the ropes off, a huge red mark on one eye as he shook his groggy head and glared at me. Some kind of spark in his hand was glowing. It slammed into me, as I stepped backwards, the blow giving me a jolt and a shock.

But that was it. Two feet from him and it was about a strong as an electric fence.

"That was pretty weak." I commented lightly, as he growled, trying to form another one. The flicker in his hands kept failing, and the more relaxed I made myself look, the harder he seemed to control lit or the rage I could see in his face. "You're not really good at much, are you?"

He growled and lunged for me, a fist trying to connect with my face, all his physical strength and weight coming into it and I did what I'd been taught to do. Sidestepped him like he was a raging bull which was exactly what he reminded me off right now, red faced , heavy breathing.

Sure, he was heavier, he was stronger, but I was lighter and I was more flexible. And boy did it piss him off when he missed me by a hair's width. Maybe as much as it did when that black jaguar, if that was what it was, appeared at the back door, teeth bared, blocking his exit.

"You're not so tough when we're not tied up or in a cage. Or drugged." I commented lightly, skipping back a little, reaching up to tighten my ponytail.

He lunged again, some kind of silver thing in his hand, and I reached for my training again. Pretended to go left, went right, the silver thing sailing harmlessly through the air and bouncing onto the ground. He must have expected it to hit. It was a silver dart. The kind that he kept trying to get into me when I was being too 'active' in the cage.

"Can't you even face me when I'm concious?" I was almost laughing at him now, as bizarre situation as that seemed, the rage giving way to sheer scorn and contempt. He was weak. Another energy ball tried to find me, this one failing after just a few inches, the rain starting to really pour on the roof of the cabin. "Are you really that scared of me?"

He slammed into me, finding me at last, ramming me against the wall, fist connecting with my shoulder in the exact spot that Clayton had. I exhaled sharply, pain shooting up and down my shoulder, as something gave there. Something hard and bony, I suspected, which made his pupils dilate, clearly turned on my scent and my pain. Idiot. He was just an idiot, a rich idiot who'd gotten enough cash to pay other people to tie up women for him.

A knee driven up with all my strength found his crotch just as it was coming to grind against me, and he grunted with pain, stumbling back, finding a dresser to lean on. His hand vanished inside a drawer, as I stepped closer, ignoring the shooting pains going up and down my shoulder, and I saw something silver flash in the dim light of the cabin as he stood back up straighter. Was it a knife?

"I told you, bitch, we adapt." He held it up, his hand shaking, the lust gone and replaced by that rage again.

I froze. It was a gun.

Clayton's foot came flying up from the doorway, as alpha tried to hold it at me, his arm shaking, knocking it cleanly out of his hand.

"Apparently you're no longer an alpha." He threw the gun outside and leaned against the doorway, arms crossed. "He and the cats had a discussion."

"You call me a coward." The alpha spat. "Letting those things kill him for you."

Clayton grinned then, a wide mocking grin, devoid of any real humour. "Oh, they didn't kill him. He abandoned you." He bent down to lift up the rope, inspecting it, nodding somewhat. "It'll work."

"Going to let him fight for you now, ar-" The alpha started to mock me, started to, but he'd been so focused on Clayton that he hadn't seen my leg until it was ramming into his chest, slamming him hard against the dresser. This time he didn't finish in it, he yelped in pain, and I didn't let up now. I hit him hard with my good arm, keeping my injured shoulder back,mimicking Clayton's earlier punch to meet the ex-alpha's jaw, but I misjudged his jaw and felt my hand slam into his soft throat instead, making him gasp and grasp for his throat. His fist came to meet my head at the same time, blinding pain seering through my head a moment, his grin short lived as he suddenly struggled to breathe.

While he was distracted, I stomped hard on his crotch, ramming all my weight into the heel of my boot, feeling something give. He screamed then.

"I don't have to lift a finger for her. You've got her all to yourself." Clayton leaned back against the door, relaxed, even looking his watch. "Bring out a weapon and I'll remove it again."

Something rammed into my leg, suddenly, and I felt metal objects between his fingers. He cried out in pain though, I just felt a fist hit me. Looking down, I saw him open his palm, a set of keys half-dragging embedded in his skin, clearly having intended on stabbing me with them but failing. I saw a silver dart and snatched it up.

"You just can't fight like a werewolf, can you?" Clayton commented as he took in the keys. "Magic, keys, a gun, useless."

He tried to stand up, tried to, but another hard kick to his head and he struggled to stay concious, clearly in pain, and I knew he was just about done. Clayton tossed the rope to me.

I yanked him up, spinning him around, bending him over the dresser as I grabbed his hands. The rope was wrapped around him as Clayton had instructed, hands with palms out, so he couldn't wriggle free again. Clayton gestured to the cot in one corner.

"We have to keep him alive." I threw him on his back on the cot and gazed down at him as he tried to stay awake.

"Ahead of you." Clayton pointed at where a silver blade was resting in one of the oil lamp flames, already getting red hot. "Alive. Unable to rape."

"There's people near." I heard a soft warning from the door, Ana again in her human form, as his eyes scanned the jungle. "Weapons. Black. Smart. Two minutes."

"You shouldn't watch this." I muttered and she nodded, backing out.

I stared down at the semi-concious man, his eyes groggy, seeing him blinking at me slowly as he tried to fight the drug. Then I untied him. As I did, I gently jabbed him with the dart on the arm. He got off on pain and torture. I didn't. This was a show to mutts, not something I took pleasure in, and I honestly preferred it if this asshole wasn't able to feel what I was about to do. He'd remember it every time he looked down. That was more than enough for me.

I threw the rope aside.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not going to do it while he's tied up." I shrugged. Drug or not, I wasn't going to be like that. I yanked down his pants, ignoring his attempts to get me back, using my only good arm and it took a good minute just to do it. There it was. That horrible bizarre looking thing that was aroused somehow, like he was turned on by my scent despite himself, and while Nick's was ...well, I liked it, even if it was funny looking... this man was just plain disgusting. Clayton moved closer and I realised he had the camera now. Filming.

"How many times has he raped you?" He asked, zooming in on the man's face as I put my foot down on the alpha's leg to keep him there.

"Three times." I remembered three. I felt like there'd been more now. Who knew? He'd had me drugged out of my head so long that I couldn't tell any more. "All three with me tied up or drugged."

"This time he's faced you at full strength?"

"The _only_ time he has."

"What happens to a mutt who tries to rape you, hurt your children, or harm other women while keeping them tied up?" Clayton was drawling, so casual, so cold, as he handed me the glowing blade. We could hear feet pounding outside now. Twenty seconds at least. "What does a member of our pack do to a mutt who rapes, hurts or targets someone vulnerable in her pack?"

Fear in his eyes, as I held up the blade, his head shaking, jaw trembling, his bladder emptying itself all over the bed and his legs. He was just about under, the drug was quick, but his fear was keeping him awake just enough to keep his eyes at slits.

He saw it.

It was quick, it was fast, and even drugged and falling unconscious his scream cut through the air, the rain, silencing the insects, the smell of scorched flesh, blood and urine in the air. It was cold. Heartless. I was actually kind of relieved he had been drugged. I didn't know if I could have done it if he was fully aware of the pain... even after all he did to me. He slumped, the drugs taking over, though it probably looked like it'd be the pain.

Clayton took the knife, handed me the camera, and stabbed it, his face pale now and determined, as he threw it and the knife away into the bush. Then we turned the video camera off.

"When you cook-" He started, eyes to me, blood still drained out of his face.

"No sausages?"

He nodded, a weak grin breaking through, glancing at the man. "Glad you drugged him."

"Me too." I sighed with relief, feeling both relief and exhaustion, aware that it was over. Clayton's arm coming across to hug me. Or he tried to. I hissed in pain and slid away when his weight met bad shoulder.

"Ah, fuck, sorry. Forgot."

He stepped forward as if to check but we were interrupted. Men and women burst through both doors, guns raised, their hands steady and eyes fixed on us. Then they looked at the sight on the bed.

Even professional soldier type people struggled with that sight. Several of them went green and backed off.

"Is he dead?" One of the remaining ones demanded, jabbing the gun at me, and Clayton growled lowly, stepping closer to me. "Your pack agreed he'd be left alive."

"Drugged. Get him out and he'll be fine." I replied, shutting my eyes, that steady body beside me now a relief. I felt exhausted. So tired. I just wanted to go home, throw up, cuddle up to Nick or Antonio or Daniella or Reece or ...anyone... any pack. I wanted my pack. "Do you need to point those things at us? I don't know who the hell you are but if our pack agreed anything with you, that means we're on the same side here."

They ignored me and didn't lower them till someone went over to check him.

"Where's his ..."

"Went missing." Clayton sounded so casual, so carefree about this.

"Who are you all?" I opened my eyes and stared at them.

"Cabal swat." A woman's voice came. She leaned into a radio, informing them that we'd been located, and heard the gentle buzz as someone promised an airlift out of here. "We'll return you both to your alpha."

As we were escorted out, the guns lowered, but Clayton's watchful eyes keeping them at a safe distance, Ana reappeared. She was dressed now, as were the other were-jaguars, and I had to only assume that some of them had gone back for their belongings. Or maybe a car was close. She ducked under the grown men and women 'swat' people, their expressions priceless as they watched an eleven year old with jaguar-marked skin ignore them, so she could jab a pen and paper in my direction.

"Can I add you to my facebook? What's your number? Email?" I wrote them down for her as she gave me a notebook with her details, full of energy compared to my sudden exhaustion, adding,"Dad said I could go to America to go to high school if you promised to let me stay with you. Can ..."

The man who'd been with us earlier stepped forward to wrap an arm over her shoulder. He smiled a slightly apologetic smile at me and tugged her gently back. "We talk later about that."

In the end we had to walk back, the storm crashing over us and making it impossible for the helicopter to come, and I followed as I tried to fight waves of exhaustion. I wasn't sure why. He had hit me in the head, was it a concussion? Was it because I'd been going non-stop since ...what time had we gotten up?

They were carrying Aaron on the stretcher behind us, I heard them inform his father of the injury, and was relieved to hear laughter. Relieved but I also felt sorry for him. Was that crazy? My father would never have laughed at me if I was hurt, even if it was because I did something stupid, like trying to prove that I could walk across slippery monkey bars while it was raining. I'd broken my leg and hit my head pretty badly back then and he'd been so damn worried that I thought he'd cry. He laughed at me later, of course, but when I was injured and in a bad way? Not even a smile.

Aaron and his brother, whatever his name had been, sounded like they had a messed up relationship with their father. Both weak in both sides of their worlds. Aaron got money instead of love, the other one tried to win love by being a sorcerer. That didn't excuse his actions one bit. Not one fucking bit. He was a selfish prick who used women and got turned on by their pain. Couldn't even treat his own grandma right. Mommy issues?

It just made me more determined to make sure all my kids knew that they were incredible.

I got too slow, I suspected, because Clayton offered to carry me back on his back.

Pride be damned. He looked energetic and I felt buggered. I checked that the camera and that notebook Ana had given me was still in my pocket and safe, it was, before sliding onto his back.

I think I must have passed out then. I woke in a car, a splint on my arm, a warm body close by. The rain poured outside the car, the night rumbling with thunder, and I could smell Elena. She must have come back to the house to wait for us, I suspected, but I had to open my eyes and check anyway. Yep. There she was, silver hair lit up by the lights on the dash, focusing on driving carefully. Clayton was beside her, his arm across the middle of the car, resting on her leg.

I glanced up to see I was resting against Antonio's leg. He was watching the storm out the window as Elena drove. The sky was lit up with lights, more lightning in the clouds than there was thunder strikes, a spectacular show that I had seen in Queensland nearly every summer. Tropical thunderstorms made the humidity worth it. Every time.

I slid up, slowly, and Antonio turned around to help me.

"Good sleep?" Clayton called from the front, head twisting back.

"Sorry, I was tired." I muttered.

"That'd be the dart."

"Dart?"

"You were still holding it."

I blinked and looked at my palm where there was a big red dot. Oh yeah. Hadn't I jabbed myself when I first met Antonio too? I had to remember to put those down when I used them. "Woops. No more darts."

Antonio laughed softly. "It was probably a good thing. You missed the arguments. His father was a piece of work. Wanted us to compensate him for the loss of a employee in his other son. Apparently both are probably going to be imprisoned by the Cabal."

"What?" I blinked, yawning. "Who the hell are they?"

"The sorcerers. They have a big system, their own prisons, their own security, a lot of money, and take care of their own. Or punish them. You just did their dirty work." Elena explained as she drove. "We're going straight back to Rio tonight. That all right?"

"We left some stuff in the were-jaguar's village."

"They're bringing it over. They wanted me to tell you that they'll be in touch via the internet." Clayton shrugged lightly. "Apparently they got a satellite dish and mobile tower installed just last month and the kids are dying to use it."

That would explain how the hell Ana had been on facebook while we were in the middle of no where. I blinked sleepily as I tried to focus, tried to stay awake, keep watch, still exhausted.

"Go back to sleep. It's our turn to work." Antonio pulled me back down, sensitive about the shoulder, and I didn't resist. I went back into an uneasy restless sleep.

When I woke it was almost daybreak and we were on the outskirts of Rio. I slid up again, watching the city go past in the early daylight, watching as somewhat familiar sights slid past. We weren't heading to the same hotel, I noticed, but one further up the beach. I slid out, aching all over now, accepting a little help. No more adrenaline to keep me running like a mad super-werewolf-woman ...just exhausted Anne who wanted a holiday. A _real_ holiday.

Antonio handed me a key and said they'd meet us for lunch later that day. I blinked, then realised what he meant. Nick was up there. Waiting.

Suddenly I wasn't exhausted. I smiled, informed him it might be dinner, and Antonio laughed, and I sped off as fast as my aching body would allow me into the lift. Go, rush, why so slow! I jiggled on the spot. It was just after five thirty in the morning. Fantastic. I could sneak into his bed.

The second I caught sight of Nick, naked as he usually was when it came to a bed, perfectly asleep and relaxed, the dark lashes on his cheeks, curls messed up, skin with the blood back in it, I breathed it in. Smelt him. Smelt the sleep. His peace, his relaxation, his health. I breathed slowly, not daring to move or wake him, the smell of my mate washing into me and calming me. No matter where I was, wherever this man was, I was home.

I stripped slowly, quietly, not wanting to wake him after all. Then I carefully slid into the bed beside him and curled up, an arm across his side, and relaxing into a real sleep.

It lasted for exactly two minutes before I felt him shift, twist over, and his lips started to trace across my skin, finding my lips. Nick kissed me, slow, careful, and after a moment I had to give in and return it, sighing a low sigh of relief. Real Nick.

I opened my eyes when he pulled away, stretching, hand dancing across my naked body to inspect every bruise and cut and whatever else he'd missed. Nick's face reddened, paled, reddened, as he went over each bit, memorising it. His warm brown eyes finally came back up to me.

"So." Nick said, eyes groggy, struggling to keep them in me. He grinned, a ridiculous grin, as he leaned over to tug one of my legs over his, "You said you saw aliens in your bedroom?"


	24. Memories

((Thankyou for your reviews and for reading it. :)

.com/watch?v=ZrQA-w8s Pain of Disco!

.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU Don't worry, be happy :) Robbie is 2 minutes in. )

Nick fended off everyone with an uncharacteristic stubbornness. No order, no demand, no shout could budge him, he blocked the door, he kept it locked, he pretended we were out at the gym, or he just turned the TV as loud as he could. Jeremy, Clayton, Elena, apparently even the father of Aaron, he refused to open the door and told them all that I was asleep. Asleep. Always asleep. Then he'd crawl back into bed and we'd lie there watching out the window. It was nothing like the penthouse, just a little hotel room, the floor scratched, plain cotton on the bed, the room and bathroom clean, some hand painted picture of a goose on the wall and it was _perfect_.

I slept a lot of the morning, waking up every now and then when I jarred the painful mess that was my right shoulder, every fibre of my being needing to relax, to rest, to lie there beside this person that my life revolved around. Well. One of the people, anyway, I still had to get back to the other three. I understood what Sara had meant, so long ago, when she'd told me that she missed her baby even when she'd wanted nothing more than a break. I missed our three. Missed their crazy timetable, the attempt to feed three hungry mouths at once, their little smiles. Maybe this was why I'd avoided thinking about them while we'd been searching for the now ex-alpha... because now, I felt homesick, anxious, I wanted to rush home.

It was probably the photos Nick showed me that kept me rooted to the room. The phone calls, reassuring us that they were fine, and the videos that I was being emailed. That morning, I'd be woken by someone at the door, watch one, and fall asleep before the two minute footage was over.

But I wasn't asleep all the time. Sometimes I'd wake and we'd talk. I'd tell him what I saw when I was little, how we used to camping when I was a child, how I used to hate girl scouts and joined boy scouts instead with my nephew. How before him I'd never dated, never kissed, something he already knew, but I didn't tell him that people had tried. People had tried to get me to date them, every now and then, or just ask for a kiss, and I'd vanish in this shyness. It had always felt wrong.

I didn't remember those first few days with Nick, not completely, but it'd never felt wrong. On the boat his lips had always drawn my eyes to them, my own mouth tingled when I stared at it, the odd desire to reach out and brush his arm or his leg. Other girls my age would have known what that meant. I had no clue back then. Now I got to go with those desires, kiss him whenever I had the urge, and I made sure I did it as much as I needed to that morning. This was what the ex-alpha hadn't gotten about women. We gave that contact he wanted freely and we did it better when we were willing. We were goddesses if the men just allowed us to be.

The smell of food was what woke me fully. I woke to find myself between Nick's leg, an icepack on my sore shoulder, my head placed carefully on one of his thighs. He offered me something to eat and I lay there, comfortable, relaxed, knowing that as long as I needed it, Nick would make sure I had peace. Have only him.

"He didn't hurt you?" I slid up slowly, twisting around so my legs draped under open ones, so I could see him. I knew the answer, knew that he hadn't been hurt, that he'd been drugged, but I still checked, fingers pressing against Nick's skin while he ate. "How did he get you?"

"Grabbed me in the bathroom. Next thing I know, I'm in some car, tied up, and they're debating about whether they can ransom me to the pack or should dump me in the jungle for the jaguars to eat me." He shifted closer, so our bodies touched, wrapping his arms around me. "They didn't hurt me. They were afraid to _bruise_ me, once they'd figured out how important my father was the alpha and that he owned his own business, so I spent most of my time sedated or asleep, tied up, being fed this amazing food by an old woman. Open up."

Nick offered me one of the nachos, covered in cheese, so I opened my mouth obediently and let him. Something else prodded against me too, as his arms tightened around my waist, pulling me against him so that he could inch himself a little into my body. I inhaled, my body loving that idea, breathing going a little bit faster at his invite. Oh yes. That would be nice right now.

"I thought you said food." I pretended to tug away. His legs tightened around me and drew me closer.

"Food, sex, or a little of both together." He kissed me hard then, tugging me right against him, and he wasn't kidding about 'both'. Careful of my shoulder, he drew me closer, eating and feeding me as we moved slowly against each other, focused on each other, seeking the closest intimacy we think of.

I ended up on my back on the bed after, Nick on top of me, the plate somehow magically moving to beside my head as our bodies relaxed and cooled. He went to move off me and I held him there with my legs. Nope. Staying put.

"What about your shoulder?"

I kissed him hard, fingers tangling in his hair to tug him lower down again, letting him know exactly what I thought about that. So it hurt. So what? That wasn't going to come between me and this man. Nothing was.

Apparently that trigged him to start again, his breath hitching as my hips ground into his, the food forgotten again, and it took another half hour before we even remembered we _had_ nachos waiting for us. By then they'd fallen on the floor, I suspected my good arm might have accidentally knocked them when he was turning me over, so Nick had to re-order lunch for us.

I fell asleep as he did, the relaxation and the pleasure easing me back into an easy sleep, and woke when Nick started to bring in more plates. I got a robe on and helped him.

We sat at the tiny table, eating, and finally got down to really talking. I told him what'd happened, not leaving anything out, and the part about Clayton didn't seem to shock him.

"Jeremy told me." He explained, when I blinked, not getting the reaction I expected. "Clayton told him."

"Not upset?"

"That you saw him naked and turned on?" Nick shook his head. "You see _everyone_ naked after runs and with the way he and Elena are after a run, you were bound to see that sooner or later. We've _all_ seen that at some point. If he'd gotten further than that I might have been a bit more upset."

Trying to relax, feel as casual about it as he did, I went quiet, his hand remaining on mine as he ate.

"You all right about it?" Nick asked, carefully, eyes in mine.

"Relieved. I felt relieved it didn't go further. Yes. I'm fine." I nodded and stabbed for his hand with a spoon when he tried to steal my paw paw.

"So. Who's bigger?" He grinned and I threw the pawpaw at him.

I told him about the hunt and how surprisingly easy it'd been to attack the man. That still bothered me, some part of me expecting it to be a trick, but then we'd never faced him in direct conflict before. Ever. There'd always be a human with a gun beside him, or another werewolf, or he'd drug someone, there'd never been a chance to see just how weak he really had been. Nick said the same thing when he saw the doubt in my face. And if it was fake, I wouldn't have been able to film it, and I had. He'd been curious, taken a look and now he wished he hadn't.

"Bit anticlimactic, isn't it? He pretends to be strong, tough, and ends up being a weak man who can only look strong with weaker people."

"Surprised?"

"Not really." I tried to shrug and cringed. Oh yeah. Bad shoulder. "I almost felt bad for him now. I keep forgetting that people aren't born like him. They're..."

"He's a grown man who can think for himself. As the teenagers say, screw him." Nick interrupted me. I knew he was right, and he was more or less mirroring what I'd thought. Then he changed his mind. "No. Screw _me_ and leave him to the sorcerers."

After a quick shower together, Nick worked on getting rid of the shadow on his face, and after thirty seconds of watching me sitting there on the narrow bench watching him, the towel not quite on me, six accidental cuts on one side of his face when the towel slipped a little more, he grabbed the towel, threw it over the bathtub and we started again, laughing and teasing each other like a couple of shy teenagers.

I helped him finish his face after, the two of us grinning so much my face hurt, it felt like we'd been apart for weeks on end. We'd made a mess too- shaving foam was everywhere. So it was back into the shower for attempt two and when we got out I shaved the other half of his face carefully, resisting the urge to kiss him every few seconds.

Midway through it we heard the door pounded on. Nick ignored it.

It kept going.

I finished and Nick groaned. He yanked on a towel. "Five seconds and I'll be back."

He headed to the door and the second he opened it, there was a sudden crash, something broke, the door slamming against the wall. My body filled with adrenaline, I slid out quickly, quietly, tugging the second towel around me with my good arm as I slowly edged towards the bathroom door...

Then relaxed as I smelt Jeremy and Clayton there.

"Who's paying for that damage?" Nick was on the ground, trying to get up, looking annoyed. He rubbed his head as he picked up the chain that'd held the door mostly closed. "That hurt, you know!"

"You." Jeremy replied. "You promised to allow me to see Anne before dinner. She's _injured_."

Oh yeah. I'd been so busy being loved all over, eating, sleeping, that I'd almost forgotten about that. Okay. I hadn't forgotten. I'd chosen to ignore it in favour of those other things.

"Dinner's ages. Come back later."

"Dinner's in five minutes." Clayton informed him. No need to tell us that- Clayton's stomach was shouting at us on his behalf. "Get dressed."

Nick stood up and headed for the bathroom. I stepped out, the towel still around me, and Jeremy's stern face faded. He nodded to the chair at the table.

"Don't worry about dressing. It'll be easier to see it like this."

I nodded and slid into the chair. Jeremy sat in the other one and slowly checked, pressing fingers into the swollen skin there, making me cringe. Ow. That was just not a good idea. He undid the bandage, had me try and lift my arm which failed, and put it back on as he asked Nick where the icepack had gone to. I'd forgotten we even _had_ an icepack. Apparently it was between the bed and the bedside table now.

Jeremy wasn't impressed by that or even amused. He didn't need to be a werewolf to guess what we'd been up to instead of tending to serious injury, as it apparently was. A fracture or a break or something. I would have shrugged it off as part of the job but that was out of the question for now.

The silliness of the day had to be put aside for a while.

I stood up and went to get dressed in the bathroom, Nick helping me carefully step into jeans as Jeremy continued to talk, leaning against the wall outside the bathroom, not giving Nick or myself a single chance to slip away for another day's worth of ...bonding.

"The Cabal are going to mail us the ex-alpha's computer and compensate Antonio's loss. You're the one who'll decide what to with that website."

"Burn it." Nick muttered. He stepped behind me to do up the bra while I stood there, bad arm floppy, good arm trying to adjust things.

Jeremy continued as if he hadn't heard Nick. "His father wasn't impressed that he couldn't gain some time with you and asked me to inform you that he regretfully had to return to Europe to conduct business. He's got a letter for you."

A letter waved around the corner and I grabbed it, trying to tear it with my hand. Then I changed my mind, deciding that whatever that man had to say, it could wait till after dinner. I liked the were-jaguar's tradition of 'eat now and stress later'. Nick watched me fold the half-ripped envelope up and slip it into a pocket without a word.

"Not going to read it now?" Jeremy asked when he didn't hear paper unfolding.

"After dinner. We can read it together. The three of us." I stood still as Nick tugged a strapless top over my head, down my waist, helping me get the arm out of the way so he could pull it back up again. He moved behind me, kissing the skin on my back as he freed the hair that'd gotten stuck in it, fingertips brushing along my lower back under the fabric. I shivered, inhaled, and he grinned, hand sliding a little lower under the hem of the jeans.

Then a lot lower.

"You two need a honeymoon." Jeremy muttered. He could smell it, or maybe he could hear our heart rates rising, who knew? "Nick. Focus."

Hand disappeared from out of my jeans and I pouted, Nick nipping my good shoulder, hand sliding across my stomach instead. It almost looked like he was tempted to slid his hand down the front instead but Jeremy finally gave up trying to give me privacy and stepped back around, giving Nick such a look that he stepped back a fraction.

"Just ...measuring the sling. Fabric. Amount." Pathetic excuse, Nick didn't even try to hide what he really wanted to do, as he stepped backwards.

"Here. Let me help you." Jeremy moved closer with the sling and helped me get it back into place, careful. "Does that pinch?"

I shook my head.

"Good, come on." He waited for us, clearly not intending on leaving us alone for thirty seconds, and we headed downstairs. Clayton tossed aside the book he'd been glancing at and hurried after us.

The table for us was filled with everyone. Savannah, Daniella with Reece glued to her side, Clayton jogging over to sit beside Elena -only for Nick to race past him and plant himself there first-, even Morgan and Noah was there, both of them looking sunburnt. It was sunny here in Rio and they must have been on the beach. Watching the famous topless women?

I sat beside Jeremy when he offered a chair and sighed, relaxing, the wooden edge of the chair digging into my sore back, but I ignored that. Clayton plonked into my lap, surprising me, giving Nick such a look that Nick glowered and pointed at a spare chair further along.

Clayton shook his head, wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and grinned. "We've gotten very close, haven't we?" Clearly we had, though I was still surprised, his ease with me going far beyond the 'hand on the knee' challenge he'd given Nick months ago. I smiled and Clayton mirrored it. As long as Nick was stealing the chair beside Elena, Clayton could stay. He squeezed my back and gave Nick another hard stare. "See?"

Like last time, I picked up the glass of water and sipped it, casual, as if there was nothing bizarre about a six foot tall man sitting in the lap of a much smaller woman. Elena had a smile there, shaking her head, standing up and heading for the buffet.

Nick stayed put, eyes locked in Clayton's eyes, the two of them challenging the other one to move first. This went for a full two minutes, even as Elena returned with bread, like they were just about ready to go for each other. Pent up energy?

My stomach rumbled. I was hungry. Did I have to carry Clayton to the buffet to get something to eat?

"Are you hungry, darling? Nick seems to have forgotten how to treat his wife." Clayton wasn't really speaking to me at all. Nick narrowed his eyes, stood up, and hurried to the buffet just as Clayton feigned standing. He laughed and stood up, moving across to the seat beside Elena's seat, too fast for Nick to realised he'd been tricked. Nick sighed and continued onwards.

"I'll get you something." Elena promised Clayton, who smiled his real affectionate smile, something rare in public, her hand brushing along his shoulder as she moved past. I wondered if they'd spent the day alone as well.

I checked my phone as I sat there. Ana had already emailed me. She apologised for springing the 'live with you' idea on me before her father could talk with me, then asked it again. I'd have to talk with Jeremy about that later. Nick too. How would the pack go with a twelve year old girl who spent half her time running around in the shape of a jaguar? How would the wolf instinct like that? Still... cats and dogs were known to like each other. Sometimes.

Nick bent over me, probably unnecessarily close, so that he could put two plates in front of me, so that his body could brush against mine. Then he vanished again to get his own dinner. We sat side by side, our knees brushing, content to be quiet and listen.

After dinner, Jeremy, Nick and myself I headed upstairs. I opened the letter and read it first.

"_Elizabeth, _

_I've been made aware of my son's intentions towards you and that you are most likely carrying the next heir to my family."_

I almost screwed it up there. His son's _intentions_ towards me? It sounded like he'd _proposed_, not raped me. I forced myself to continue.

"_As you will not be aware, I am the son of a family that is high up in the Cabal, and have had my 'condition' hidden in order to protect the reputation of our family. Therefore you must speak nothing of my condition or the resulting genetic oddity my sons carried. Swift legal action will be taken against you and your pack should this news slip out. Your alpha has already been informed of this. I am not unkind though and intend on compensating you for the trauma and injury to your person and family. This offer has been extended to the other women my son or his 'pack' were responsible for."_

I suspected the 'swift legal action' threat had also been offered to them. The idea that he'd pay me off, pay me to keep quiet, that pissed me off.

"_I did not condone his actions. I offered my son assistance in temporarily taking over your pack's home on condition that he offer you freedom and then return home. Now I am aware that he did not follow orders but instead harmed you. I will allow you to decide how to remove the website."_

In other words, those professional people on Stonehaven's land hadn't been Aaron's. They'd belonged to his father. I'd tell Jeremy that.

"_The matter of a child though concerns me greatly. My two sons are now facing justice for their crimes and I have no other children. If your child is born, it may be a sorcerer, and if so I offer you compensation and experience with that kind of child. I would not take the child away but I intend on being apart of the child's life should it prove to be my grandchild. I am able to help you raise a child in control of his own strengths. My own sons, I failed, assuming that they would be fine with nannies. I intend on changing that with my grandchild."_

That sounded kind of ominous. Like there'd be no 'Don't want you there'.

I suddenly hoped Nick was right about how I couldn't get pregnant so soon after having a baby. I picked up my phone, googled 'When can you get pregnant after having a baby'

Nick blinked at me as I held up my phone beside the letter. Oh, sure, I could have asked Jeremy, but … I scowled as I discovered the alpha had been right. A woman was extremely fertile after having a child. Fucking hell. I had to check google more when Nick told me these things. Suddenly I yanked the chair from under him, Nick crashing to the ground and Jeremy looking a bit taken back too. Angry mad werewolf woman attacking her mate out of the blue?

"What did I do?"

I showed him the phone. Then Jeremy.

"Interesting." He blinked at it. Shrugged. I might have kicked him or something but Jeremy's hand came to rest on my arm.

"Don't injure your shoulder more. We'll discuss that later.'

If I got pregnant again, if I was _already_ pregnant, he got the night shift for _all of them._ But there was no point stressing about that now. If I was, I was. If I wasn't, I wasn't. I needed time to think about this one. If it was Aaron's child, if he had succeeded, then what? Was I seriously expected to carry the baby from a rape full term? Yes. _I'd_ expect me to do that. But why did his father want to 'help' so much anyway? Were sorcerer-werewolf babies born with fire shooting out of their ass? Or maybe he knew he had two screwed up children and was begging the fates to give him another shot at it.

Remembering that I was reading a letter and had a tiny bit to go, my eyes scanned over the last few lines, barely taking them in.

"_My mother asks me to tell you that she would like to be apart of a child's life as well. She offers help as the child's great-grandmother. She hopes your husband, Nicholas, is well. _

_Demetruis."_

I handed the letter to Jeremy who read it quickly before he handed it to Nick. Nick frowned as he read it.

"He wants to pay you off so you stay quiet? Jeremy, tell him to fuck off."

"That's up to Anne."

I carefully folded the letter up and put it back in my small backpack. I didn't want his money but, as much as I didn't like the guy, I decided to keep it. Just in case. "We'll deal with that later. What if ..."

I knew was that if I was pregnant, and it was from that rape, then I wouldn't abort just because the baby was conceived that way. In a way that made it a victim too, didn't it? But what if I aborted because it was too soon to have another baby? The thought made me cringe. Four babies under two. Or more if we did really seem to sway towards the multiple figures? I hoped they were wrong. This was not a good time for that. Two years, maybe. Five. Ten years seemed ideal.

"If you are pregnant again," The look on Jeremy's face would have been priceless, the poor man probably didn't know how to take any more 'good news' along those lines, but he was trying to control whatever emotion that stirred up, "I'll discuss this problem with Demetruis. He only speaks to you with my permission." Jeremy let me know. "If he contacts you direct him to me."

"I was sure I'd get away with it for a few more months." Nick muttered. Was he shocked? I had no clue. He just sat there.

"You-" Jeremy's eyes swung to Nick. "-are going to get a talk from Tonio. Both of you. Didn't I threaten this the last time you two had this scare?" He rubbed his head, suddenly looking exhausted. "I did, didn't I? In fact..." He fished for his wallet and tugged it out, tugging a small packet out of it, and throwing it at Nick. "Here. I'll buy another lot tomorrow for you. We'll be returning home in two days."

"Can't we stay longer for a honeymoon?" Nick frowned at the condom as if it was about to jump out and bite him. Surely he'd used them before. Hadn't he? I kept hearing about the thirty years of casual sex and parties from his friends, the girlfriends for few weeks, all of them.

Tough for him.

"Not this time." Jeremy stood up. His eyes came back down to mine, softer. "Do you want me to get a test?"

"Let's worry about that in America." I shook my head slowly. Whatever happened, happened. He nodded and left us alone. I watched Nick turn the packet over. "You do know what to do with that thing, don't you?"

He nodded, eyes coming up to me. "Didn't you learn in sex ed or whatever it is schools do?"

"No. Girls went outside so the boys could have a special lesson." I shrugged. I'd never touched one before. Once I had found a condom in my garage when I was a teenager but I'd been so embarrassed and shy about what it was _for_ that I'd picked it up in newspaper even though it was still sealed and unused.

Nick grinned, a wide grin, grabbing a banana and tugging the chair up right between my legs so he could sit there. The wrapper was torn away and he tugged it out.

"What are you doing? Don't we need that?"

"It's the wrong kind for me." He dismissed it as he inspected it. To me it looked like every other kind. How he knew from this I had no clue.

"How can you tell? They all look the same."

Nick rolled his eyes, stood up, and went to pull a pencil case out of his suitcase. Then he returned to the chair, tugging my chair right up against his so my legs rested across his, unzipping the bag. There were a bunch of them, the pencil case filled, different colour wrappers mixed and jumbled together.

"How long have you had those?" I stared inside.

"I never go out without a few. Now, it's time for me to teach you something else." He offered me the banana. This wasn't about education, I knew that, this was about him picturing me do it to _him_. Education was just the excuse. "Roll it on. Leave a gap at the top."

"So why haven't I seen them?" My cheeks went red as I took it. It was just a banana. Just a condom. Yet it was the first one I'd touched and I suddenly felt so damn innocent all over again. This was exactly what Nick had hoped and he grinned wider as he watched me. I threw the banana at him, condom half rolled on, and stood up. "Stop teasing me."

"I didn't say a word." He caught it and held it up with a raised eyebrow. "This isn't good enough. Come here."

"No." I backed off, he grinned at that, standing up and stalking after me. "I'm going swimming." Suitcase. Where was it? I rummaged through it, eyes on him, as he stepped on the other side of the bed, watching, his muscles tense, the pencil case in one hand.

Then he jumped over the bed, bouncing on it in the middle, and leapt on me. I fell back, my bad shoulder saved by Nick's quick arm behind me, and he pinned me against the wall there. Fingers found my jean clasp, unbuttoning it, sliding the zipper down slowly, before he started to tug them off me. "We can go swimming after your lesson."

I narrowed my eyes at him as he tried to tug, legs tightening together, which caused something in them to rip when he just tugged harder. His lips curved up ass he inspected the tear in the waistband before he tore it again. Pieces of it fell off me.

"Hey, I liked them."

"Should have let me take them off." Nick held up the pencil case. "Take a pick."

"They're all exactly the same."

"Or are they?" He jiggled it and held it out. I took one, cheeks still red, Nick shaking his head in mock horror with a low, "Oooh, so you're _that_ kind of woman."

I threw it at him and he laughed, pinning me gently, tugging his own pants off. He tugged out a copy of it and handed it over. "I can even unwrap it for you if you like."

"Nick, I want to swim." I went bright red as he opened it. This was ridiculous. We'd had sex so many times that I'd lost count but touching a ribbed condom? That sent me all the way back. Like a regression.

He wrapped both arms around me and lowered me onto the bed, sitting me there, pushing his boxers down, before he waited. The look on his face..

I went to stand and he raised his hands. "Fine. Swim, then we continue?"

"Okay."

The swim didn't last long. We managed for about five minutes before we gave up and headed into the bedroom, Nick getting me to put it on him, and I was too turned on to care now.

Then I heard a voice, just as I lifted it, a voice as clear as Nick's heavy breathing.

"Please make your way out carefully and thankyou for flying with Continental Airlines."

"Huh?"

"What?" Nick prodded my fingers, playfully. "You can do it."

I blinked, he was fading away, fading so fast, his grin frozen as I fell.

I fell, and fell, and fell and...

Suddenly I was on the plane in LA, all memories of Nick and everyone else gone, as the seatbelt sign blinked off.

I stood awkwardly in my seat in the cramped plane, as everyone rose, sliding sideways and standing there for a second. One look at the crowded aisle though and I flopped back down in the seat and waited. Crowds didn't bother me, exactly, but why push and shove? I just had to wait.

Stress made my heart race. Or was that the exhaustion? Or was it because I was really bloody tired? What time was it in Australia anyway?

A fifteen hour flight did not make for a happy Liz when sitting next to a gassy man and his kid who whined all the time about the noise of the cabin. It hadn't helped that he'd nicked half my dinner when he thought I was asleep. I woke up to find it half gone with my drink missing. No way could I afford to spend $5 for another one so I shut my mouth and kept quiet.

I was really thirsty now though.

Breathe. Just breathe and think about your prize. A cruise! Just ...focus on that. I sighed, breathing in and out slowly, until most of the people had exited the plane. Then I stood up, lifting out the heavy laptop bag ...

But it wasn't there. Nothing was there.

This was not going well.

I grabbed for my bag, checking it, finding that my wallet was also gone. What the hell! My passport was there, the details about the flights and my competition details, but my wallet and my phone were missing. This was just getting worse and worse. I felt something hard in my pocket, fumbling for it, finding that I'd at least thought to put my proof of age card there. ...well, actually, I'd gotten lazy and slid it there at the Melbourne airport and forgotten to put it in my bag.

I moved up and down the plane, checking the other overhead compartments, ignoring the stares by the flight attendant people, finding the same thing. Nothing.

"You all right, Miss?"

"Someone took my bag and my wallet." I breathed harder, deeper, trying to not panic. Fuck. Fuck. What a way to start a holiday. I couldn't afford to replace that laptop, not while I was a full time student, I couldn't even afford to replace the phone.

They led me off the plane, my fingers white around the handbag, and I sat there, breathing hard, face white. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't fucking panic. Details taken. Promices to check security cameras. Did planes even have those? I told them about my lunch going missing. No reseponce, not even a bat of an eyelid, like that didn't matter.

I had this feeling I'd never see that stuff again. Oh sure, they'd try, but ...

I sat there in a small waiting room for three hours while they pretended to help, trying to tell them that I had to get another flight, that I had to go again and I needed my stuff. I had no money. I couldn't afford to replace what was gone.

Other people sat there in the waiting room, coming and going, but I suspected that they'd been dragged into that room for other purposes. Some of them had literally been dragged and were handcuffed. Fantastic. I was in with the drug smugglers.

Minutes ticked by. I tried to calm down, tried to relax, tried to replay some movies in my head that I liked. Funny how a 'head cinema' was faster than a real one. Or was I sitting here for hours? I didn't know- I couldn't even see outside, there were no windows in here.

Sometimes I stood and knocked on the door, ignoring the stares by the people who were brought in here with me, only to be ignored. Typical. I had to flop back in the plastic chair, try and avoid eye contact with the people in handcuffs, trying to not show how fucking terrified I was of them. America had guns, didn't it? Oh sure, logic said that they'd be unarmed now, but logic wasn't apart of panic or exhaustion.

Finally my frayed nerves couldn't take it. I felt it coming, the wave of panic, the panic attacks that usually reserved themselves for final essays, my heart flooding as I started to hyperventilate. I knew what it was, I knew what I was going into, and I tried to handle it. I tried to breathe right, tried to put my restlessness into my legs by jiggling them fast, tried to resist the urge to beat the hell out of the glass until someone came in, head between my legs as I breathed. This was not what I'd pictured when I thought I'd see LA. Not at all.

My chest started to hurt, sweat beading down my face, I grasped at it and tried to relax. Think of fluffy ponies. Of bollywood. Of that really silly song about the pain of disco. Pain of disco... pain of disco... in my heart was the pain of disco. I pictured doing this in this room, that stupid dance that Indian actor had done, and that made me laugh, an absurdly hysterical laugh, that echoed around the room and made a woman near me jump and move a chair away.

Someone must have seen me there, freaking out, because suddenly there was security guards and stuff inside the room, leading me into another room, one with a table and two chairs. Fantastic. Just like the TV show about airport security.

It might have been funny another time, the reaction to this, especially when I started to pace up and down the room and ignore the chair. The staff, different to who I'd seen before, seemed to think I was one of the drug smugglers. Maybe they thought I had bags of something up my bum, and it got a bit frightening when they started to go 'What is inside you! What!' as they called a doctor.

My answer of 'The pain of disco' did not amuse them. I swallowed, tried to breathe, and tried again, informing them that it was just a panic attack and I was using humour to try and calm it down.

That didn't work either. This was just getting worse. They took my bag and searched it, then my pockets, and made me stand against the walls with arms and legs spread.

Oh hell no. I wasn't going to let the first person to touch me between my legs to be some American security guard with too much time on their hands.

I narrowed my eyes and told them, "No. Just let me get something to drink."

That was not an optional alternative apparently. I was held there, while hands slid down my sides and ...onto my pocket. Where my ID was still sitting. Then they contained, my face going red as hands slid into places I didn't let anyone touch, even if they were just there a moment. Then they left me in the room, taking my bag and my ID.

This was going to make for one hell of a story when I got home. Dad would love it- it'd drive him crazy, he'd be ringing all the newspapers, making the biggest fuss he could, he'd LOVE the chance to fight this battle. Susie would be right beside him, while Mum would shake her head and quietly spread the word in her own way. Phone calls to friends, a little mention in church, prayer, her way probably twice as effective as Dad's would be.

I flopped into the chair, shutting my eyes, rubbing my head. This cruise better be worth it. This was what I'd been scared about by coming to America. These people scared the crap out of me. Not regular Americans, they were always so awesome when I met them at home, but the stories about Airport security, and guns, and my dad's trip to America a few years after 9/11. He'd been in the army as a younger man, until his health stopped him from going to Vietnam, and he'd told me that he'd seen airport security, real soldiers, standing in LA airport with their fingers on the triggers instead of the trigger guards. Apparently that was a big no no.

Yep. Dad would love this battle. At least there was one thing I could give him for a souvenir. Another horrifying 'American authority!' story that he loved so damn much.

What would happen if I missed the flight? Maybe I already had missed it. I was escorted to the toilet at one point and caught sight of a clock. The flight had been at ten thirty at night. It was now eleven. I sighed, the panic fading. Why panic now? It was gone.

I sat in the small room for another five minutes before the doctor came in and checked me out. Same questions. Had I taken any drugs, had I done this, had I done that, and I just reassured him that I'd had a panic attack because my belongings had been stolen and my wallet with all my money, and that I hadn't eaten a full meal since I'd left Australia. I was fine now. Flight was gone. There was nothing I could do. He blinked at me, checked my pulse, my eyes, then left the room.

It took two minutes for customer service to come into the room. It was their turn to panic. Apparently I was supposed to have been taken out over two hours ago, but shifts had changed, and miscommunication or some bullshit, and I was handed a macdonalds meal while I was reassured that they'd secured me a place on a flight to New York and my bags would be waiting at the other end. First class even.

There was further panic when I said I was vegetarian, apologising that I couldn't eat that, which led one of them to hand me some money to buy something on the plane. Then I was hurried out, the paper bag still in my hand, and I stuffed it into my bag. I'd throw it out later. They hurried me through, even getting some kind of golf cart thing.

I might have been amused by all of this but I was so stressed out and exhausted it was taking all my effort to just not cry. My eyes stung, face hot, I muttered thankyou as I was handed a ticket for this flight, unable to even look at the person, eyes only going as high as their chest, catching the name. Susie. Fantastic. Susie would love that.

A free pen was shoved into my hand and I was led onto the plane with the other first class passengers, avoiding eye contact as I slid into the first class seat beside someone.

Oh sure, I was grateful for this, I really genuinely was, but at the same time I felt so terrible, face was red with the suppressed emotion, hot, tears leaking out. A glass of champagne found itself onto the table beside me and I ignored it.

Okay. It was just stuff and I could get money out somehow, couldn't I? There'd be a way. I just get to a computer and ...well, what? What did I do now? I had no money. I had some tickets to fly places but I had no money. I couldn't call home. I couldn't buy food. I had four days between the flight into New York and the cruise leaving and while the hotel had been covered, which I was very grateful for, the rest wasn't.

I tried to reason and cheer myself up. Well, I thought, I did want to loose weight for the cruise. And they hadn't lost my baggage. The customer service people were very insistent about that as they'd rushed me here. Maybe they were afraid that if something else went wrong I'd sue their asses.

Maybe I should sue their asses.

I sat there, staring blankly at the ground, feeling much too exposed in this open first class cabin. Suddenly I longed for the tiny cramped economy seats. There was a bit more privacy there. The plane would let me go into a bathroom in twenty minutes. Maybe I could try it there.

A glass of water pressed into my hand suddenly, cold water making me flinch, and the person sitting beside me withdrew it.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Thought you might like water better." The man's smooth accent made him clearly American. Not the rude kind though. The nice kind I was used to holidaying in Australia. I couldn't look at him but that didn't deter him from trying to offer it again. "I haven't had any."

"Th- thanks." I took it and sipped it. The cold water was a relif after so long without anything to drink. It was gone within thirty seconds, the lot of it, and he grinned a little in the corner of my eye.

"Slow down there, you'll need to use those bathrooms if you don't."

"Do they serve free food on here?"

"Not this time of night. What about your Macdonalds in your bag?"

I flushed, knowing how that looked, the chubby girl trying to get extra food on top of her Macdonalds. I didn't ask how he knew. Even I could smell it.

"I can't eat it- I'm vegetarian." Kept my eyes forward, on the seat, staring at the 'massage controls'. I wondered if that'd help me relax or bring back flashbacks of being groped by airport security. Probably the latter.

"Why buy it?"

"They gave it to me for being jerks." I muttered, reaching forward to reach for the magazine, still refusing to look at him. Music, music, maybe I could get something to listen to, to calm me down.

The man stopped talking then as the pre-flight checks started. I took the headphones and gave the woman the drink back, still untouched, feeling that man's attention fixed on me.

It was a bit unnerving acutally. Being stared at.

We took off and I headed for the bathroom the second I could. I splashed my blochy face with water, trembling, and sat on the toilet in the cramped area, shaking, trying to think.

Okay. So I had no money and I couldn't eat. So what if I went to a ...computer cafe. They'd given me some cash and I could use that to contact my parents online. Give then a time I'd be online again and go back the next day and check. They weren't rich, far from it, but I knew they'd happily lend me the money until I got this sorted out when I got back. Or maybe they had a better idea?

Yeah. I could do that.

And how far could it be to walk from the airport to the hotel anyway? Maybe the hotel had free pickup? What if there was a bus? Surely there'd be some information service there somewhere.

This could work. Really. I wanted to loose weight anyway. And hotels offered free tea and coffee.

So why did I feel so damn fucking torn? This was a terrible way to start a holiday. I suddenly just wished I could fly home, all joy or excitement gone, tears leaking out of my eyes all over again. I knew I'd never be able to buy that laptop again and if the money was stolen from my account with my cards I'd be struggling to pay my parents back. By the time I got to New York and found an internet cafe the thieves would have had all night.

A knock on the door made me jump and I stood up, trying to tell whoever it was I'd be a while, voice husky with the emotion I'd worked up. No answer, just another instant knock, and another, soft raps that made it clear whoever it was was not going to wait. Maybe they thought I was with someone in here.

Fuck them. Let them see me alone in here, bawling my eyes out, and then maybe they'd fuck off and let me stay there.

I slid the door sideways, suddenly, and found the man standing there. His brow creased as he took in my face, the damp toilet paper in my hand, eyes going down the plane in the direction of the flight attendants. Then he pushed me in, stepped in with me, and locked the door.

"If you touch me I'll scream. Get out." I hissed, fear suddenly there, with barely an inch away from the man in the tiny space. "I'll claw your eyes out. Get out."

"Relax. Shh. I just came to check on you, you've been in here for half an hour, and to let you know your Macdonalds has vanished." He tried to grin, a silly grin, but it faltered when that made me start to cry again.

I flopped onto the toilet lid and grabbed for more toilet paper, the man kneeling in front of me, genuinely concerned and taken back.

"I was going to buy you something else. Vegetarian. Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was a big deal." HE reached up to brush my eyes with something else, fabric something, some kind of handkerchief. I didn't know people still used them. "I hoped you'd be cheered up."

"That...that would be nice. Thankyou." I pushed the handkerchief away. "Don't dirty that. It'll be gross."

"Don't care about that. I can't stand to see a pretty woman crying." He pushed it back up to my face.

"Pretty." I snorted, not believing a word of it, trying to rub my face and stop the crying. I was so tired though that I couldn't and I sat there for half an hour with him there, patient, waiting unti I'd calmed down, warm brown eyes fixed in mine.

Then he stood up and rinsed out the handkerchief of my tears before returning to help me clean my face, the space too small for me to stand up to do it myself, his kindness helping me feel a little better and a little tired. I blew my nose one last time, endless snot in it, and lifted up to flush all of the junk away.

"Now you are." He smiled then. "No snot running down your face."

I smiled a fraction, just a bit, which made his smile widen more, his eyes crinkling, and I couldn't help but return it. It was like seeing Robbie Williams in that 'Don't worry be happy' music video. It was impossible to not mirror the grin on this man's face.

"Thanks. Won't they wonder what we're up to?"

"I hope they do." He grinned. "I'm Nick."

"Elizabeth. I mean, I'm Liz." I flushed.

"Feeling better now? Got it all out?" He sat back on the ground, barely fitting, back against the door. How we'd get out again was anyone's guess.

I nodded.

"Good. What's wrong?"

I told him what'd happened, feeling my earlier panic there, but just for a fraction. Because as I spoke, Nick actually reacted, reacted in ways that made me feel better, less ignored, like what had happened actually was as bad as I thought it was. His grin faded and his eyes narrowed again, leaning up as if he was really paying attention, the crease in his brow returning.

"Fuck. No wonder why you were upset. How much did they give you?"

I fished in my pocket and tugged out the ten dollar note.

That made the crease deepen as he stared at it. "Ten dollars? They expect you to survive on that much?"

"It was to buy something on the plane so I could eat." I muttered, folding it back up and sliding it back into my pants. "I won a contest and the hotel's paid for. So are the flights and stuff. I just need to get to the hotal and contact my family."

"How were you intending on getting to the hotel?"

"Walk."

"It's a twenty minute drive just to the edge of New York city." He really looked angry now. "I'll talk to them."

"I have plenty of time. I can walk it. I need to loose weight anyway." Well, actually, I wasn't sure about that. Twenty minute drive usually meant ...how far? I wasn't sure. I suddenly had doubts about the walking part. Could ten dollars get me part of the way? But what about the internet?

"Nope. I'll take you there when I get there. My brother won't mind. You can do plenty of walking once you're safely in your hotel." Nick added, after a thought, "Is food included in the prize?"

"Just the hotel room."

"Fuck."

"I need to loose weight. It's okay."

"I'll turn this plane right around if you keep saying that. Come on. I'll get something for us to eat, you have a sleep, and I'll come with you when you go have another talk with them. Mention lawyers as well. Damn airports. I never liked them much. Leaving a woman in distress alone like that." He shook his head, standing up, holding his hand out to help me up. I stood up, the two of us so close that I could feel his chest against mine with every inhale, but he didn't seem to notice that. He turned and opened the door.

The flight attendant raised an eyebrow at us. Nick's frown had vanished and he threw her a breathtaking grin, even winking, which made her cheeks pinken slightly.

"I know it's late but we're starving now. Can we have something to eat for her? Vegetarian?" He asked softly. "My friend here's been on a flight from Australia and someone pinched her meal."

"I'll find you something." She nodded a fraction, eyes moving past him to me, though her warmth faded as she took me in. Chubby girl wanting more food. She probably thought I'd made that part up. "For your friend."

"And for me too." He added. She returned her eyes to him, toned body, muscular arms, curly brown hair, face softening again. "Maybe some water for us too."

"Of course. Won't be long."

We sat back down. He joked with me softly, not quite touching me, but his hand kept coming within a hair's width of mine, like he wanted to. I almost would have let him. I smiled but it wasn't enough and he tried harder, ignoring a 'shh' from somewhere else.

The food came. A salad for me and something looking much better for him. He offered some of his but I shrugged. A salad was usually all people had in the way of vegetarian food anyway. It was enough and it filled my stomach.

I shut my eyes after I moved the seat back a bit, tugging the blanket over me and the pillow under my head, still feeling his attention on me, my body relaxing now. I didn't really need his help, I hoped, but it was comforting for someone to actually feel outrage at it. To have a friend. I felt less homesick now. Something warm came to rest over my hand, slow, reluctant, like he was waiting to see if I'd resist the contact, and when I didn't his hand closed over mine.

The exhaustion washed over me.

I woke to the smell of food. Another flight attendant, a different young woman, was placing something on the tray in front of me. Eggs and a sauce on some kind of muffen?

"Sorry if I woke you, Miss, your friend seemed to think you'd prefer to eat before you got off. Here's our menu. You're free to choose up to two entrees, a main, and a deserrt, with any drink of your choice."

"For breakfast?"

She nodded, smiling, and moved along to the few other passangers. Some had already eaten. I looked sideways at Nick. He was already well into his breakfast, his hand off mine now, eagerly eating away. But he glanced at me when my eyes found his face.

"If you can't eat it all, order anyway, I'll eat it. I'm starving."

I stared at the amount he already had. Nick's eyes followed mine.

"I eat a lot." He added, a slight shrug, as if that was no big deal.

I just felt envy. Being able to eat like that... what I'd kill to have a body like that. "I'll order something for you then."

I ordered when the attendant came back and glanced at the clock. Seven in the morning? I had really slept then, not just a little bit, but for hours on end. For me on a plane that was new. Was that because it was first class? Maybe it was.

The food came. I was starving again and the food was fantastic. So was the fruit juice, for that matter, like they'd just squeezed it then. I couldn't eat it all anyway. Nick was on the phone while I ate, speaking softly to someone, but his hand came over to brush against mine when I offered the entrees. My cheeks went red and he winked, grinning, before he took the meal and slid it onto his table.

It was bizarre to be this affected by a man. He wasn't even my type. But I couldn't deny it. I was drawn towards him more and more now. Was it because he'd played 'rescuer'? I'd have to be careful if that was it. I didn't want to become needy.

"I'll call you later then, Tonio." He was saying, lifting the fork to his mouth. "Bye."

He hung up the phone and ate slowly, leaning back, arms and legs stretching.

"My brother's working. Can't meet us. I hope you don't mind a taxi instead." He informed me as he ate and I fiddled with the little video screen.

"No, I don't mind. I'll pay for half."

"With ten dollars? Don't worry about that." Nick went quiet as his head turned to me, mouth open, seemingly loosing the ability to talk.

"What?"

"Nice hair."

I blinked and reached up. My hair was everywhere. He grinned, dropping his fork, leaning over to run fingers through it for me. I flushed, his own face far too close, it made me nervous somehow. My heart sped up a bit.

He seemed to freeze a little as that happened, as if he could hear that reaction, before he withdrew slowly. Nick smile remained as he returned his attention to the food.

The second we were off the plane and we'd located Nick's suitcase, Nick led me to customer service, and let them have it while they tried to locate my suitcase. When they failed to find it he really got angry, while they took down the details of my hotel, promising to send it over free the second it was located.

"Come on." Nick gave them one glare, grabbing my hand and yanking me away, his hand almost crushing mine. I tried to loosen his finger a little and he glanced down, seeing my hand going white in his, and let go with an apology.

"It's okay." Okay, it wasn't, it was another problem I didn't need. Clothing was expensive. But if I just got some pants and another top, and some panties, that would be no problem. I'd just have to wash them a bit more. Right? No problems.

We got inside the taxi and I gave the man the hotel's address. Nick was right about the length of the trip and the distance. Walking would have been absurd. When we got there I tugged out an old receipt and the free pen I'd gotten, carefully noting how much he was paying, so I could remind myself to pay him back for half of it. I liked his help, I liked his backup with the airport, but I wasn't one of those girls who wanted everything to be done for her. The second I got money I'd be paying him back half.

"Sixth floor. This one is for your room and this one is for the front door. We lock it after five and open it at eight." The man pointed at the stairs. "Come down if you need sheets or towels replaced, service is offered once a day, I'll put your room down."

"Do it once a day then." Nick instructed him. THe man nodded.

We headed upstairs, Nick easily scaling the stairs, me struggling by the third floor. Huff, puff puff, huff... with a suitcase this would suck. Fuck. Nick came back down after a few minutes. He hadn't even a sweat. He came with me, sticking close, as if he was afraid I'd collapse. I was embarrassed about that, how unfit I was, and was ready to hit him if he commented. New friend or not.

Sixth floor finally came to meet me, and I stumbled down the hallway, trying to get my breathing back under control, holding the keys as I searched for the right number. This place wasn't exactly five star quality- the floor creaked under me, even swayed sometimes, or was that becaus I was oxygen deprived?

I put the key in the door and found it was the wrong one. Tried the other one. Also not working. Nick tried and got it to work somehow, opening the door for me, and followed me inside.

It was a relief to find that the room was clean, neat and comfortable. There was a small kitchen in the hallway in, right across from a bathroom, a large bed, a little two person couch in front of a TV, and a small table against a wall with three chairs there. It wasn't large, sure, but I was just glad to see it was clean. There was even a little balcony outside. Nick flopped onto the sofa.

"I like it." I sat beside him and he smiled at me.

"It's not bad for a three star. Clean and comfortable." He nodded as he gazed around the room. "I'd stay here but the kitchen would be wasted on me. Can you cook?"

"I love to cook." I nodded. But food was still a problem. When Nick went home I'd have to ...I didn't know. Drink tea. Lots and lots of tea.

"We'll get something for you to cook then." He nodded as he stood up, striding to the fridge, opening it to see what was there. I followed. Three little long life milk things, that were no where near enough for the kind of tea I usually liked, and a jug of water. Gourmet! Nick opened the cupboards, shutting the fridge, and I found some basic cooking stuff, some knives and a cutting board, a strainer, the kind of stuff that was in any kitchen.

"Not much food included, is there?" He prodded at one of the mixing bowls.

"It's not like a hotel with a mini bar." I shrugged. Tugged open a drawer and found the handful of teas and coffee and sugars. "I won't be tempted. Fifteen dollars for chocolate wouldn't put me off right now."

Nick turned to look at me, my words catching at his face, and he leaned over to brush something away from under my eye. Then he froze. "Sorry. Eyelash. How long are you here for?"

"Till Friday."

"So five days away." He grinned. "Fantastic. Do you want a shower before we go out?"

"Go ...out?" I blinked at him. Yawned. "I want to go to _bed_. Don't you have a job to go to?"

"I'm on holidays too. You can't go to bed now, you won't sleep tonight, so we're going out. I keep you company, you keep me company, sound good?"

I was too tired to argue with that. "Shower first then." A bit pointless without fresh clothing but at least it'd help me feel a bit fresher, a little less awful, even if I had to put the same worn clothing back on. Nick nodded.

"I'll wait here." He informed me.

The shower was adorable, a cute duck and whale shower curtain making it look like I'd stepped into someone's house instead of a hotel bathroom, and it did help to wash. I washed my hair, opened up a box of 'pure' soap, the kind I would have bought, and even the old clothing didn't ruin the way the shower calmed me down or eased my anxiety. I knew Nick was outside, it made me embarrassed, shy continuously checking the door though deep down I knew he wouldn't just barge in. I wasn't usually letting strangers into my life this fast but here, in this strange city, maybe having one friendly person wasn't such a bad idea.

When I got out I realised I _had_ promised to call my parents when I got here. Damn. That was going to cost me too.

"I have to call my parents. I promised to call them when I landed but-" But my cell phone was far away by now.

Nick nodded and nodded in the direction of the little balcony. "I'll wait out there. Take as long as you need."

When he was gone, I reached for the little informational sheet, checking the call rates for America to Australia. Three dollars for half an hour? That was better than expected and half an hour was going to be enough for what I needed.

They were all over me on speaker phone the second they picked up the phone on the second ring, worried because I'd been later than I promised, and I quickly explained what'd happened. They reacted exactly how I expected them to. Dad and Susie were outraged. Mum went to make a cup of tea, in other words, she was going to go phone a friend on her own cellphone while she fiddled with hot water and a teabag. Dad offered to call them up right now for me, Susie was trying to figure out how to get money to me, something about wiring cash. I glanced at Nick who was outside.

Somehow I didn't _want_ them to take over the entire battle. I wanted to do part of it myself. Was it because of that man out there? Maybe, maybe not, but while I'd usually been happy to step backwards and let battles get fought for me, some part of me didn't want to do that in front of Nick. Maybe that was pride.

"I think I'll give them a call tomorrow when I get some money." I told them. "I'll pay you back as fast as I can."

"I'll give them a call right now. Well, when you're gone. Don't you worry, sweetheart." I could hear the tap-tap-tap of a pen on a notepad. Was he taking notes?

"My bank says I can transfer money to you right now if you have I.D. There's a bank there that is partnered with them." That was Susie in the background, calling, apparently already on the money problem. Sometimes she was sisterly and sometimes because she was so much older than me she turned into 'second mother'. Right now she had the 'second mother' tone.

"I have ID."

"What have you still got?" Dad asked. "What did they give you?"

"Ten dollars." Nick called. He ducked his head in. The crease was back. It was funny, in a way, like he was mirroring my dad's outrage in his own face, like he couldn't resist joining in.

"Who was that? Are you still at the airport? Let me-" Dad' voice took on a tone.

"No, Dad, that's a ...friend. I met him on the plane and he's been helping me. I'm at the hotel now." I gave Nick a look which didn't phase him in the slightest. "They gave me MacDonald, a pen and ten dollars."

"A friend? Is he cute?" Susie called. I flushed, Nick grinned, and I threw one of the cushions at him from the sofa.

"Damn right I am." He called, disappearing into the balcony, leaving me alone to deal with 'sister' side of Susie.

Thankfully Dad cut her off before she could take over and we went back to details. Names, what i'd been told exactly, and while I did want to fight this battle, if he did call them up and give them a piece of his mind, it'd get them tense enough to respond to me better tomorrow. Not just that but Dad was practical. He knew what I could say, and I scribbled it down on the free notepad in the room, knowing it'd help me keep my wits tomorrow when I called them.

"The church will get in touch with the church in New York." Mum called. Oh fantastic. She was getting her church involved. I rubbed my head, feeling a headache coming on then, feeling it get a bit out of control. She'd started going back to church five years earlier and while the rest of us hadn't, half of Mum's social network consisted of that church, and apparently it extended right into America.

"I've got to go soon. I'm running out of time." I reminded them. Susie gave me the details for the wire transfer, I scribbled it down, and Dad promised to call the airport. I promised to give them a number when I could find one and call them back again later. Susie wanted a photo of Nick.

He ducked back in at that point, asking me to get her number, and I blinked him.

"Can't deny your sister after she's been so helpful, can we?" He grinned.

"Do you have shots of yourself on your phone?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

"No." I answered, only to hear Susie's voice pipe up.

"Yes."

I sighed, gave him her number, and hung up, giving my life, before she could snatch the phone and gush. She'd love him. Somehow that made me uneasy, my sister and Nick bonding like that, though I didn't want to think about _why_.

"She thinks I'm cute." He informed me, holding up his phone, and I turned my back on him. "Jealous?"

"Tired." Not jealous. Why would I be jealous? My older sister did this a lot, sure, she'd done it when I was younger with male friends. But Nick wasn't mine. To be jealous he'd have to be something else. And he wasn't.

Nick snatched up the second set of keys, dropping it into his pocket, and offered his hand to help me off the couch. I stood up, ignoring his hand, and he grabbed my hand anyway. I sighed. Gave in. How could I resist the temptation of a warm hand?

I grabbed keys and we headed downstairs.

The bank was first and after an hour I had the cash. Two hundred dollars. It was a fortune from Susie's perspective and I appreciated it. I could survive with that much if I was careful. Quickly I gave Nick the half of the cab fare, ignoring his protests, stuffing the bill into his hand.

"Is there public transport?"

"Subways, yeah, and buses." Nick nodded. "You don't want to use those."

"Why not?"

"Scary." He shuddered, just a mock shudder. "Let's get another taxi."

"I can't afford to pay for them all the time." I reminded him.

Nick won when he threatened to send a topless shot of himself to Susie. I didn't believe he had one until he showed me, and he seriously did have one on his phone, one that made my blood speed up somewhat. Then I gritted my teeth and agreed.

At least he took me to the cheaper stores so I could buy a wallet to put my cash and ID card inside. We went around the city, walking till I was exhausted, flopping in the huge gardens in the middle as Nick went to get something for hot for us to eat. So what if it was freezing? I was already asleep by the time he came back and he jabbed me gently.

"Sleeping in those clothes? Tough Aussie. I though you'd be freezing out here."

"I am. But this is all I've got." I muttered. Yawned, stretched, and took the cocoa. Then I yawned again. "Can't I go nap now?"

"Nope. Not till it's night time." Nick tugged me onto my feet, warm hand closing around my cool one, and we made our way through the wet gardens, arms brushing. The second he felt me shiver he wrapped an arm around me so that I was against his warm side. We stopped at a bridge and gazed out over a lake. It was kind of nice to have a huge park in the middle of a city.

"So this is central park?" I gazed over it, the grey sky, the trees mostly without leaves, the damp ground with patches of snow still under them, the steam from my cocoa rising up from my free hand.

"It's nicer in summer."

"I like it. I never liked cities as much as I liked the forest." I smiled somewhat. "It was summer in Australia when I left."

"No wonder why you're dressed like that." He snuggled into my side, so close that I couldn't believe it, like this was normal for him. Did Nick do this a lot with strange women? Maybe. Right now I didn't care. He'd already been closer to me physically than any male I'd met in my life... which was both sad and kind of nice. "I'm going to buy you something warmer."

"I can pay for it." I insisted.

"With what you've got? Not now. Maybe you can pay me back later." Nick shook his head. He glanced at me, eyes tracing over the t-shirt, bare arms, exposed neckline, and moved back to pull his jacket off. "I can't believe I didn't think of this."

"No, you'll be cold then." I shook my head. "We can go find a jacket."

"I don't get cold that easily. Just till you get your own jacket." Nick held it out, waiting for me to put my arms in it, and I sighed, threading an arm in each sleeve, feeling the body warmth he had inside it still, the smell drifting up and closing around me. I blushed a little as he moved to do it up, hands tracing up the zipper very slowly, his lips just a fraction away from my face. It was bizarre, how I was drawn to them, eyes caught on them and tracing their shape.

Suddenly I wanted to touch them, his lips, wanted to press my finger against them. I licked my lips, breathing a little faster, and I saw his tongue respond with his own brush against his lips, head coming lower, closer, while his hand slowly lifted the zipper up my chest and to my throat. I suddenly wanted to _kiss_ them. It was outweighed a little by my self-conciousness- I didn't know if I could kiss- and the 'I've known him for thirty seconds' disbelief that came with this entire thing. I had to look past him or I'd go nuts. My cheeks were so hot now.

"Warm?" Those lips asked. Nick's eyes bored into mine. He probably hadn't missed a thing.

"Huh?" I blinked, shaking my head a fraction, trying to shake that urge out of it. I wasn't that kind of girl. Tried to look into his eyes instead of at his mouth.

"Are you warm?" He moved backwards, the cold air reappearing between us. "Or tired?"

"Both." I wasn't going to tell him what I was really thinking there. My cheeks were pink now from just the memory of that urge.

"Let's go. I know where to get some good clothing." Nick threaded his warm hand through mine again and led me through the park. "And I'm paying for it." He added, glancing down at me, challenging me to say otherwise.

"Seriously, I can't afford to pay you back. I get only a hundred and eighty a week. I'm a full time student." I insisted. "Just find an op shop."

"A hundred and eighty a week?" Nick's jaw dropped. "What's that in our dollars?"

"I don't know. Less."

"I'm buying your clothing. Let me. I enjoy it and my only other female friend doesn't let me." He squeezed my hand.

"Maybe." I muttered. Refused to really give in, exactly, but at the same time...I only needed a few things. Hopefully it wouldn't be that much and I could figure out how to smuggle the repayments back into his life.

We stopped again beside a river, just to watch it, Nick's face concentrating on the water as if he was expecting something to happen. Then he turned to face me. "Liz? I was wondering, actually..." Nick hesitated, like he wasn't sure how to ask whatever he had on his mind. "My brother's out of town. Apartment's getting re floored. I need to stay in a hotel and I was thinking I could stay with you. While you're here."

I stiffened at his request, suddenly understanding, feeling my heart sink. So that was why he was nice to me? He wanted to sleep with me? "I don't do that. I don't sleep with random men. Or familiar ones."

"No, that isn't what I... I thought you might like a friend. No sex. You help me out by giving me a place to sleep and I help you out by acting as your private tour guide, I'll pay for food and things you'd buy anyway." Nick held out his hands. "I promise, Liz, no funny business. I just like company and I like you. I can even try and get two beds if you like. Besides, I bet you've got a boyfriend at home, or a husband, who'd kill me if I tried. Yes?"

"I'm serious about the sex thing too. I don't do that." I tried to relax. That was a bit of an over-reaction, maybe, but I had to make sure he got that part. "But no boyfriend or husband. I ...haven't had time to date."

"I promise I'll behave. I'll show you around, keep you company, make sure your holiday is good from now on. But-" He paused and stepped closer. "I do want to take you on a date tonight if you're single."

"A date?"

"An innocent date to the movies. Is that all right?" He seemed so careful, so determined to not push it, and I couldn't resist that. That crush I had on him, the one that'd gotten worse all day, wouldn't let me refuse that offer. I nodded and Nick grinned, making my heart flutter, stomach lurch, stepping closer to brush my arms with his hands.

We reached the edge of the park after another fifteen minutes, walking slowly, Nick heading out to hail a cab for us.

"Barneys." He informed the driver, helping me inside after him, and we headed off into the traffic. Nick turned his attention to me. "So what's an op shop?"

"A store with second hand stuff in it, like clothing, toys, books, that kind of thing. You can find good stuff if you hunt." I held up my little bag. "That's where I got this. Seven dollars."

His eyes went over it and I stroked it protectively. Sure, it was a little worn, one handle was falling apart a bit with the plastic tubing showing, the lining coming apart, but I fully intended on resewing the bits I had to. It was something from India, I suspected, made of stiff fabric and purple and blue cotton with embroidery. "Okay, so it needs some repairs."

"It's nice. You like that kind of stuff?"

"I can't wear their clothing. I get too shy because people look at me." I muttered and he laughed softly. "But I like their bags or scarves or something small. Something that just shows a bit. Jeans are good with anything anyway. I go everywhere in them."

"I'll get you more jeans then." He squeezed my knee, gently, arm brushing against mine. And I like that. I liked that he couldn't seem to stop doing that, touching me, because some part of me wanted to do the exact same thing to him.

I hadn't felt like this about a guy since high school. It was like reverting back to being sixteen. Was it a crush then? Probably.

"Just one."

"Okay, just one." Nick agreed as we pulled up in front of a store. We got out and he paid the cab.

I glanced down the street and saw the green of a park. I tugged at his arm and pointed at it when the cab was gone. "Is that the same garden?"

"Yep."

"Why didn't we just walk?"

Nick shrugged, grinning, and headed into the store before I could say another word.

The second I walked in, I froze, feeling completely out of place in this place. Nick looked like he came here on a daily basis. I had jeans that were worn at the bottom, thongs on my feet, and only his jacket seemed to cover the cheap t-shirt I'd gotten from Kmart. Not just that but I wasn't thin, not like these women, and I was shorter than most of them. I suddenly doubted that I'd fit their clothing at all. Nick glanced back, reaching out to take my hand, moving closer. Protectively? I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I was suddenly being noticed again and not for good reasons either.

"Come on." He murmured softly and lead me through the store, eyes ahead, ignoring the obvious stare by the sales women. "If they don't bow and scrape to your needs then we'll go somewhere else."

"If you say so." I muttered.

"I do say so."

He led me into the women's department and had the woman doing exactly what he wanted with just a look, a power I almost wished I could have, quickly finding me jeans. I was relieved to find they actually fit, then saw the price tag, and went a bit pale.

"Nick?"

Nick came into the changing room. He glanced at the jeans. "Looks fine."

"They're one hundred dollars."

"Yeah. On sale." He grinned. "Good find. We'll take them. Leave them on for a second."

"I can't ..." My words cut off as he vanished before I could tell him off, I could hear his feet fading away. "...accept these. Urgh."

Nick returned with other clothing, making me put on tops, jackets, a dress, this time with the price tags mysteriously vanishing. That was not a good sign either. They were all things I did like, I guessed he'd used my bag to guess what I liked, styles that were almost 'hippy' but not quite all the way. Soft tops, tops that fell off the shoulders, gypsy looks, but I wasn't kidded. Clearly they weren't cheap. They were the real designer deal and it made me afraid to touch them. The jackets felt incredible too and the shoes actually did feel nice. Regular boots. They looked that way, anyway.

"If you really don't want them after you're gone, give them to me and I'll give them to Elena for Christmas." Nick cut me off when we were done, holding up his hand. "Think of it as wearing them in for her."

"That's your friend who doesn't like fancy clothing?"

Nick nodded. "Put on what you want to wear now. I've got the labels, the saleswoman knows, I bet your other clothing is probably bothering you a bit by now. You can keep my coat on though, it's cute on you."

It was, really, the crumpled clothing smelling faintly of the food I'd eaten on the plane, of sweat, of too much use. I gave in and put on some of the clothing, making him nod his head in approval. He made me wait as he went to pay for it, refusing to let me see the cost, another bad sign. Then we headed outside again, the cold air less troublesome for me now, Nick's hand back in mine, the bags in my other hand. He'd insisted on buying me a dress for going out as well, apparently, a warm dark green dress that I'd been too tired to refuse.

"Where can I get a cheap phone that'll call overseas? _Cheap_." I added the last part and he laughed.

"We'll try a few stores."

Nick kept me walking, leading me sometimes, determined on keeping me awake till it was night time. So we explored stores, hand in hand, like any regular old couple might have, found a cheap cell phone that was pre-paid, and headed into a supermarket-like place. Nick was trying to insist I wasn't too tired to cook but when I fell asleep on the chair at the front while he was buying the groceries, just for a minute, he gave up and offered takeaway instead for tonight. He almost looked bad, like he'd realised just how buggered I was.

"Cheap?" I checked.

"We'll get pizza." Nick promised, lifting me up, and got another taxi. "But we'll drop this all off first, okay?"

"Okay." I pictured those stairs and sighed. I didn't want to go up and down them two more times tonight. "Are you going to let me nap while you get it?"

"Yes. For half an hour. I still want to take you out on that date you promiced." He nodded. We slid into the back of one that pulled up, the bags put away by the driver, Nick pulling me against his side with his arm over me. I didn't pull away. It was nice to be like this with someone. Oh sure, some part of me was suspicious, but I could throw his bags at him if he wanted something.

I fell asleep again against that warm body, the sound of his body against my ear, and Nick carried most of the stuff at a jog while I trudged up the stairs. So this was what jet lag felt like? I just wanted to sit down on the staircase a while.

He returned and we made our way up slowly at my pace. I sighed with relief at the sixth floor and flopped onto the bed. Precious bed. Precious precious bed.

I fell asleep while Nick put the stuff away, unable to fight it, and woke up only when he returned with the pizzas. Nick shook his head when I held out some money.

"Come and eat." He tugged the boxes onto the floor and flopped down there, crossed legs, three boxes on his side, one on mine.

I dropped beside him and found a yummy looking vegetarian pizza there, complete with feta and sun dried tomatoes. It looked so good. We ate quietly, Nick pigging through his, while I struggled to eat fast.

"Why are you being so nice to me anyway?" I asked, after a thought, a little less tired now and a little more able to be suspicious.

"You're cute and deserve a fun holiday." He said it very bluntly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but my cheeks went bright red. Nick leaned forward to brush his palm against one. "Don't guys ever compliment you?"

"No."

"That's going to change." Nick glanced down at my half eaten pizza. "Are you still hungry?"

I shook my head and pushed it at him. How he could fit it in with three pizzas already inside, I had no clue, but I loathed to waste food. While he finished it I drank my pepsi, yawning, only for him to stand up and yank me onto my feet.

"No more napping. We're going out."

I could barely concentrate on the movie we went to see. This was my first date with anyone. Ever. And I couldn't even focus on the film. My entire attention was on Nick, my heart hammering faster, nerves at an all time high, so aware of his hand every time the thumb stroked against my skin, or he leaned closer to whisper something. A crush. It was one hell of a crush to distract me from this film- I'd wanted to to see it for a few weeks now- but somehow Nick took priority over it.

Particularly when he kissed the sensitive palm of my hand, the feeling of his lips against my skin, just as the blonde girl killed the dragon, his eyes on the screen, but his attention as much on me as mine was on his.

The urge to kiss him rose again, rose so much that I had to stuff it with popcorn, cheeks warm all over again. This man... I was going to go nuts around him.

We made our way back again, the office closed, so we were stuck with the one bed. One part of me didn't mind that. The other part, when Nick tugged off his tshirt and crawled into bed in his pants, made me feel so awkward, so shy about it, that he rolled his eyes and put one of the cushions in the middle.

"So shy. Change in the bathroom then come to bed. I promise I won't go over to your side." He patted the bed.

In the bathroom, I stripped into the looser clothing, a tshirt and the shorts, toying with the idea of wearing the bra in bed, but I couldn't afford to break the underwire. I felt my palm with my thumb where he'd kissed it. What was wrong with me? I could still feel his lips on my palm, the warmth there, like he'd left a mark for me, even though the skin was normal. He was waiting when I came out, stretched out, his chest bared in the soft light of the lamp, watching me walk over and climb in beside him. My cheeks were red, again, while his eyes traced up and down my body, not hiding the grin on his face.

"Having a good look?" I hit him with the pillow and he nodded.

"Can't have the end of a date without a bit of a look, can I?" Nick sat up, twisting towards me, so I could see him. And he laughed when my eyes traced down, over his muscular arms, his chest, down to the dark hair going down his belly button to...

Oh god. I really _was_ regressing back into a teenager. I tore my eyes away, turning over to the other side, trying to hide my face.

"Like?" He shifted closer, right on the border between our sides, as if he was tempted to cross it.

I shrugged and shut my eyes, trying to relax, trying to sleep. After the long day I was exhausted and it wasn't hard to fall asleep.

Staying asleep, however, proved to be a problem as the anxiety attacks returned. I woke up no more than half an hour later in the dark, heart pounding, sitting up and scrambling out of bed, heading for the bathroom. Shut the door, turned on the light, fumbled with my cell. I hadn't charged it yet. I plugged it in, hands shaking,trying to calm down. It had no logical sense to it. It was just how I dealt with stress.

This was a problem I'd had for years. I'd have a panic attack whenever I was in a strange bed. Or when I was over stressed. Doctors tried to drug me up but I'd found that working through it, letting it go and do what it had to, made it reoccur less so I'd left the drugs at home.

I sat in the bathroom, trying to breathe, running my fingers through my hair. It started to ease when I heard Nick push the door open.

"You all right?" Nick asked from the door. I glanced up to him, I hadn't heard him get up, but he looked worried again.

"I panic. When I'm in a strange bed. It's normal for me." I added, quickly, thinking he might have been offended, "It's not you."

He retreated only to return with a glass of water and knelt beside me on the tiles, patient, a hand coming to grasp mine.

"Drink that and come back to bed."

I drank, stood, and let him led me back. We climbed back in, Nick tugging the covers over us, and I didn't resist when he pulled me over to his side, lying so that our foreheads were touching, his arm draped across me and stroking up and down my back slowly.

"I don't like strange beds or rooms." Nick admitted, softly, his lips finding my forehead. "I usually have to go back to my own bed."

"Bet you don't panic." I could smell him this close. Other men like to use smelly stuff. Nick didn't. He smelt like sweat, like skin, like a natural person, and I liked it.

"I do. I just avoid having to be in strange rooms or fall asleep in a strange bed. And if I need to, I go for a run. So if I'm missing in the middle of the night... don't panic."

I couldn't do that. But I was glad to know he understood somewhat.

"Nick?"

"Mmm?"

"I don't do this with a lot of men, you know. Sleep in a bed with them." I wasn't sure why I was telling him that. Maybe it was because we'd known each other for more or less exactly one day? I shivered. Some part of me had already fixed itself on wanting him. I yawned, eyes shutting, so comfortable there. So safe.

"I don't sleep in a bed with a lot of men either."

I laughed, relaxing, his body's tenseness fading at the sound, and fell asleep again.

Early the next morning I woke, lying on my back now, my arm across his chest and my hand curled around one of his hands. Nick was asleep, hand relaxed, I wondered if he'd fallen asleep holding it. I shifted onto my side, closer to him, and fell back to sleep.

When I woke, Nick was up, on the balcony outside and arguing with someone on the phone. I yawned, stretched, and he glanced back, gesturing for me to stay put. But I had to go to the toilet and I got up anyway, stretching, heading for the bathroom.

When I got back, he was waiting, lifting me up easily and dropping me back onto the bed.

"Hey!"

"I'm taking you all around New York today. So relax and let me feed you in bed." He started to put something on plates in the tiny kitchen before coming over, flopping in bed beside me, giving me a plate of fruit and scrambled eggs, luckily separated.

"Where are we going?"

"For a cruise to see a giant green French chick." He grinned. Fed me with a spoon, slowly, watching my lips as I accepted a grape and some watermelon, Nick's grin fading somewhat as he dampened his own lips.

"Yum. Thanks." I pushed his plate at him.

Nick ate, laying on his back again, resting his plate on his chest.

"Thanks for last night." I added, relaxing back down on my side, unable to keep my eyes off him.

"I promised to take care of you while you're here." Nick shifted onto his side, putting the plate between us. "Tell you the truth, I haven't shared a bed with a woman like this."

"Like what?"

"Dressed and off limits." He reached across, pretending to go for my chest, and I tapped it away with the banana before I peeled it. "It's new."

"They're usually naked and all over you?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Usually." Nick added, a wicked grin, "Sometimes I'm all over them." One of his legs came over my legs, only to be pushed away, making him do a very convincing little whine. Like a puppy. "Aww. You're so shy."

My cheeks heated a little which Nick clearly enjoyed, leg coming back over across mine, teasing me as we tried to finish.

"Did you see what was outside?"

"Outside?" I turned to look out the door, the windows still covered with the curtains, and stared. Snow! I scrambled up to my feet, heading outside into the balcony, nearly sliding stragiht off the slippery metal and off the edge. Nick grabbed my hips just in time and yanked me back into his much more secure foothold.

"Woah, Aussie, you nearly fell." He tightened his arms around me. I could feel Nick's heart racing against my back as he shook his head. "Scared me."

"Snow!" I reached out to touch the rail, bringing up the light dusting of the white stuff onto my hand, all of New York covered with it. "When did that happen?"

"Last night." Nick's voice came from behind me, his chin resting on my head, keeping me securely there. I didn't really care. "You were too asleep to care."

"Will it snow again?" I rubbed the little heap of snow onto Nick's bare arm and he shivered against me, though I wasn't sure if it was because of the snow or because I'd brushed my hand along his arm, pressing harder against me. "Nick?"

"Huh? Oh. Yes, the paper said it'd snow tonight and tomorrow. Come inside before you get cold." He pulled me back and I let him, closing the doors, Nick's arms taking a fraction longer to let me go than they needed to. I could feel something against me, something pressing, and felt my face warm. "We'll go when we've showered. Mind if I go second?"

I shook my head and went to search the bags for fresh clothing to wear. Nick climbed back into bed, shivering a little, picking up his plate. I showered quickly, changing into fresh clothing and my own jacket, and went to sit on the sofa and call my family to let them know my cell number. Susie answered, the others were out for lunch. Nick was already in the shower when she picked up.

"Everything all right?" Susie asked. "I hear a shower going. Did you-" I heard her mind tick, think about this, and then she came to a conclusion she liked. A lot. "Did you sleep with him?"

"No. No, he stayed over, but I didn't do that with him." I hissed, softly, glancing at the closed door.

"Don't forget protection, Liz."

"Susie, I didn't … we went on a date." I hoped that'd calm her down but it just made her squeal. "I mean, he's staying here, paying for food, because his apartment's getting re floored or something. It's not like that."

"Uh huh. Dad! Mom! Wait till they hear. They're pulling in now..."

"Bye, Susie. Give them my new number."

I hung up before she could answer and leaned back, shaking my head, knowing that any second now my cell would start to vibrate. Susie was always trying to get me set up with someone. She'd tried both boys and girls when I was a teenager.

Nick took another ten minutes, stumbled out half dressed, happily dressing in front of me. Then he pulled me into the bathroom and I sat on the edge of the bath to watch as he worked on his hair, styling it, content with a quick draw of a brush through mine.

We headed out, hands clasping each others again, and I didn't protest when he got a taxi. Nick got half the taxi fare slipped into his pocket when I thought he wasn't looking. He teased and joked with me as we spent the morning in Central Park, throwing snow at each other, eating random hot food, drinking hot drinks and attacking each other with the snow. My hands were freezing though, I glanced down at my white hands, and Nick took one look at them and grabbed them to rub them with his cool hands.

"You need gloves. A scarf. A hat." He reached up to cup my face, stroking the cold skin, fingers trailing down the neckline of the jacket to touch my neck. I shivered, Nick's own body stepping closer, his head ducking down slowly to press his lips against my neck, slowly, the other hand coming around my lower back and hold me there. "You're freezing. You need to warm up."

"I have a hood." My voice was failing as his lips teased my skin, hands on his arms, struggling to think while he _did_ that. He seemed to inhale, a long deep inhale, like he was enjoying my smell. I might have not understood that, ages ago, but after last night and finding that smell really did matter...

His lips traced up my neck, up my jawline, so slowly, teasing me, hand gently guiding my head. I was not freezing anymore. Heat seared throughout my body at this teasing, lips literally throbbing as his came closer, closer, his hand holding my head still as he took his own time.

A snowball exploded on Nick's head, disrupting him, a kid squealing with laughter and throwing more. Nick stepped backwards, bending down to throw them back, ducking away as he shoved me behind him. They went at it for ten minutes before Nick glanced at his watch, shaking his head, leading me for the road.

We walked to a shop and I got some gloves, some nice warm ones, as well as an embroidered shawl thing, both of them golden yellow and blue. I loved them, so shiny and bright and _cheap_. I could afford these.

The pier had a crowd waiting by the time we got there, and we stood there joking with each other, hands clutching through the gloves, Nick doing everything he could to make sure that I kept laughing, kept smiling, even when I told him my face was starting to hurt.

We headed onto the boat behind the other tourists, sliding into the back of the boat in the open area up top, taking a seat on the damp seats side by side as the boat took off.

"By the way." Nick said, as he tugged my legs over his lap. "This is a date."

"I figured." I smiled at him, letting him play with the jeans, watching as we moved away from the pier and into the ocean. I loved the ocean. We used to go out onto it all the time when I was little and I'd always wanted to get my own boat. I told Nick that as he rubbed my legs, thinking they felt too cold, sliding out of the seat and his hands so I could stand on the edge of the boat, now uncovered hands on the rail, tasting the salt water and feeling the freezing air rush across my face. Course, my hands froze to the rail, which Nick found hilarious. Or he would have if he didn't feel sea sick. He stood behind me, putting his warm hands over mine, helping get them off again as we watched the city go by, my hair whipping around in the wind. The sun broke out of the grey clouds, warming us a little more, and I felt Nick brush the hair out of his way, kissing the back of my neck.

I twisted around, that area far too sensitive, my body going nuts as he teased it, rubbing my cold hands between us and letting the rail dig into my back. We stared at each other, lost, the mist fogging the air between each other, Nick breathing as fast as I was. His grin had frozen when I'd turned and he leaned down, holding my face with his hands, brushing his lips against mine. I kissed him back, slowly, shyly, not quite sure how to do it. He didn't seem to care, he seemed to know exactly how, cupping the back of my head gently.

All I could think was 'finally'.

"I'm going to keep you." Nick told me, lips brushing against mine as he spoke, coming down for a second kiss, one of his hands coming around me to protect my back from the hard rail.

"What about all those girls that like to be on you?" I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not. I didn't even open my eyes, just felt him there, warm body pressed up against mine, the cool air seemingly touching us less than it had before. I could taste the coffee on his lips, feel a slight tickle from hair on his chin, a shudder going up my back.

"Tough." He kissed a little harder but pulled back when I didn't copy. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know how to kiss." I admitted, finally opening my eyes, expecting him to laugh. He didn't laugh. Those warm eyes bored deep inside me, lips so close to mine, his brow furrowing slightly.

"Who told you that? Come here." He kissed harder now, determined, and I tried to copy what he was doing, noses bumping a little. After a minute we seemed to get the hand of each other, and I found myself unable to think about anything but this, wondering how it'd taken me so long to try it with him.

I pushed his hand away when it slid down my face, down my chest, seeing if I'd let him slide his hand up my top. Not yet. I wanted to get used to this part first.

Then I felt shock, realising what I'd just thought, that I'd said 'Not yet' at all. Not yet? Did I want him to touch me like that? It thrilled and frightened the crap out of me when I realised I did want him to. My nipples were even getting harder, against his chest, and we'd only been kissing for... wait, how long _had_ it been?

"We're at the statue." Nick informed me, pulling away, his own cheeks flushed, breathing harder.

"Already? How much of the tour did I miss?"

"Nothing. I'm the tour." He grinned and stepped back. I almost pulled him back, the cold air a shock after having him there so long, but instead followed him off the boat and onto the island. Nick bought some souvenirs for me, absurd looking things, and when I wasn't looking, surprised me by pinning me against a wall and resuming the kisses. We almost missed the boat, ran out of time to go to the top, Nick running ahead and we jumped onboard.

We sat in the cabin, buying drinks, and then went back outside. I wish I could have said I'd paid attention to the tour but for the next hour and a half... we just went back to kissing, joking, laughing with each other. No one told me this kind of thing had the magical effect of speeding time up. Neither of us could get enough of it and the boat ride just made it easy to get away with it. No one bothered us. It was like we were both teenagers in love for the first time.

Love?

That word scared the crap out of me.

Afterwoods, we went on a bus tour, calming down a little with the kissing now that we were surrounded by some other tourists, my shyness not really comfortable with people watching. So Nick teased me, showed me things, and I kept fending off his hands when they went a bit too low or a bit too high, though I suspected he was probably teasing me there too, because every time I did I'd hear him whisper 'So shy, aww' in my ear, before nipping it gently, his warm breath making me shiver time and time again. Then we went to the airport again.

This time Nick went in, shoulders stiff, hand hard around mine, and he let them have it, threatening to assist his girlfriend with lawyers, to sue them, that his family were already finding out what options I had. He hadn't told me any of this, of course, I tried to not look surprised. Was that the argument he'd been having this morning on the balcony? I had no clue.

They reassured him, again, that they'd tried, and all I could do was contact my travel insurance. I hadn't thought of that, felt a bit sheepish about it too, but Nick pointed out to them that I had been too upset and tired and hungry to think about that.

Then he stomped back to the taxis with me, hand in hand, only relaxing when we were well and truly away from the place.

"I'll call the insurance tonight. I didn't even think about that..." I muttered.

"The way you were, I'm surprised you remembered anything." Nick replied, squeezing my hand, settling back into the seat of the taxi beside me.

"You called me your girlfriend?" I asked, softer, almost afraid to ask. Two days and ...well, that was a bit more than I would have expected from anyone.

"You don't want to be?" Nick seemed surprised, tensing a little.

"No-" That answer upset him, he actually flinched, and I hurried, "No, that isn't it. I mean, yes, I do, but I wasn't sure..."

Lips cut me off then and I couldn't finish. We sat there, lost in each other, until the driver cleared his throat and told us we were here

"Do you always call a girl a girlfriend so fast?" I asked him as we moved up the stairs, my lips swollen, and he grinned.

"Well, yes. But I don't usually expect them to stick around."

"Yeah but I'm going away soon. Remember?"

Nick's face fell slightly. Maybe he had forgotten. I kept going up the stairs, glancing back at where he'd stopped, before he jogged up them to catch up to me.

I cooked dinner while Nick waited, fresh pasta and pasta sauce, glad he'd thought to buy the pasta pre-made. The rest was easy enough, do this, put that in, do this, evaporate water a bit, easy sauce. But he seemed to love it and ate as much as he could, which was lucky that I'd made so much, his legs hooking around mine under the table as we ate together, his bare feet trying to tickle my legs.

We tried to watch a movie on TV together, Nick's hands roaming, I kept fending them off, and he got a call midway through. He headed outside and I heard that argument start up again. But it was a good time for me to call the travel insurance so I did that, letting them know, explaining how upset I'd been and how I'd had to calm down before I called them.

Two hundred and fifty for the delayed flight. Two thousand for the lost carry on baggage, and five hundred because my suitcase was missing. There'd be extra if the suitcase was never found, I was promised, and suddenly I felt _rich_. All they had to do was check with the airport. They suggested I call them back directly, when I explained that my cards were missing, and even were nice enough to give me the number of the bank I needed. I called up the bank and the people my cell was with and called them. How fucking stupid, I realised, to not have done this earlier. Like yesterday. Or this morning. Same excuse- I'd been upset- but by now I was feeling pretty stupid for not acting faster.

Nick flopped back down beside me, throwing the phone at the wall, looking annoyed somehow. wondered what that was about. When I was reassured everything was blocked, found out that yes, my phone had been used and my account emptied, I sighed and re-called the insurance people to let them know that they could now safely deposit whatever they had to. Apparently the funds would be ready tomorrow and I could go to a specific bank for a new emergency card in New York. That was nice.

I thanked them and hung up, dropping the phone on the coffee table, and crawled closer to Nick. He was still scowling at the phone he'd thrown.

"What's wrong?"

"Family. Don't worry about it." Nick pulled me into his lap, between his legs, slowly, careful to watch for any resistance on my part. When I didn't resist he smiled and relaxed, legs squeezing me, his chin coming down to rest on my shoulder. "How did your calls go?"

"I have to go to..." I grabbed the notepad between my toes, bringing my foot up to my head, taking the notepad. "This bank. Tomorrow. Fill out a claim about the stolen money. But the insurance people seemed to think that I'd be getting the claim tomorrow so that's good."

"How much?"

"Um. Two thousand and five hundred, I think that's how much they said." I wasn't sure if it was right. I'd never had that much money in my life.

He sighed slowly, relief, hugging me against him, arms looped around my stomach. "Good. Now, this question is what really counts right now-" Nick paused for dramatic effect. "-How flexible are you?"

"Huh?"

His teeth grazed against my shoulder, pushing fabric aside, and I shivered at the feeling of it, Nick's hands sliding under my top to tickle my stomach.

"I...I can put my foot behind my head." I showed him and he didn't hide how much he liked _that_.

"So very flexible then."

"I do yoga." I informed him. When his hands threatened to slide lower, I twisted around, suddenly, legs looping across his. This, of course, made my legs spread a little more than I intended, even more so when Nick widened his legs deliberately, pulling mine apart. I flushed, trying to tug my legs free, only to have them trapped by Nick's legs.

"Let me look at you."

It shouldn't have embarrassed me as much as it did. I was wearing pants, after all, he couldn't see anything. He leaned forward, gently pushing me back on the other side, lying me down, and the way his eyes traced over me, I may as well have been naked, like he could picture me without them.

No man had ever looked at me like this before. I shivered again, as his eyes came down my stomach, lower, his eyes grazing over the space between my legs, then along my legs, I could feel him touching me with just his eyes. It made my legs tremble a little, trying to close, only to have Nick grasp them more firmly.

"I'm still not going to have sex with you."

"Just admiring my girlfriend." He grinned and crawled forward, on top of me, pinning me down, Nick's hips between mine. He kissed me hard, his body gently rubbing against mine, hugging me up against him. Nick tugged back and made sure I was looking, made sure I could see how serious he was, when he added, "You decide when and if that happens. Not me. I won't deny though- I would enjoy it."

"Not tonight." I was afraid of the idea of sex, still getting used to this kissing part, still unable to give in that much. One 'first' thing a day. Nick had kissed me for the first time today, the first man to do so, I couldn't take much more. He nodded and lowered himself back on top of me, kissing gently, without pressure, quick to stop if he got too worked up, though I could feel something between my hips pressing against me through his pants, feel it prod at me, showing me exactly how controlled he was being right now.

My cheeks burned and I slid backwards, slowly, and this time Nick didn't stop me. He stood up.

"Are you tired?"

No. It was only nine and I was actually kind of full of energy. But it seemed easier to say yes."Yes."

"I need another shower. You can get ready for bed in here."

I knew what he needed to do. Of course I knew. I was inexperienced, not dumb, I'd felt it. He slipped away, fan on, shower on, and I tried to get ready for bed, resist the urge to go near the kitchen. Then I decided to just get water. That was innocent, wasn't it?

I stood there in the tiny kitchenette, the bathroom door right behind me,and I could hear his heavy breathing, an empty glass in my hand. He was muttering something and I felt my face flush as I heard what it was.

My name.

No desire for water now, I could hear his soft groans got more frequent, the sound of water splashing, and then a louder moan, his movement freezing in the shower.

Before he discovered me, I headed back into my bed, sliding the still empty glass under it, pretending to be asleep. Nick climbed in beside me, a damp leg rubbing against the back of mine, kissing my shoulder gently.

He fell asleep quickly. It took me several hours before I could, several long hours, the sound of Nick's voice as it'd moaned my name echoing in my head. The part that had really shocked me though was how much it'd turned me on, my body throbbing gently between my legs, till I wished I could go have a cold shower myself.

Finally though, I managed to go to sleep.


	25. Waking

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When I woke the next morning the hormones were gone sufficiently for me to feel embarrassment at how I'd been last night. A bit of kissing and a bit of staring and I'd gotten so worked up that I'd even listened to him in the shower.

I turned onto my back, gazing at Nick, his head in my direction, dark lashes on his cheeks as he slept. Out of the corner of my eye I could also see that he'd kicked off his half of the heavy blanket and the sheet was starting to go the same way, exposing him right down to his hips, where the sheets lifted just slightly. In a pyramid shape.

My cheeks flushed as I turned back over, shoulders hunching over, and Nick snorted slightly in his sleep.

Or was he asleep?

A leg, brushing up the back of my legs, showed me he was very much awake, then he was moving closer against me, kissing along my bare arm.

"Morning."

"You're ...awake." I wasn't sure what else to say.

He made a noise of agreement, gently rubbing against me, and tugged me onto my back again, Nick's hand trailing across my stomach under the t-shirt. Now that he was on his side he'd hidden it but I'd seen it. And he didn't seem to care.

"Nick..."

"Yep?"

"Shower for you?" I felt it brush against my hip, his nostrils flare as his hand traced around my bellybutton, body reacting all over again to him. Even now it was scaring me, making my heart race with more than just heart, anxiety threatening to take over the arousal.

Nick laughed and edged a little closer, loving it when I edged backwards a bit. "You smelt like you needed one too. Last night."

I stiffened, eyes snapping to his, face getting even hotter again. He'd noticed? He apparently had, inhaling slowly, hand trailing down my hip.

"How did-"

"I have a very good sense of smell. And you smell better than El-" He hesitated. "Than any other woman I've met like that."

Sliding out of bed, I stood up, awkward, embarrassment flooding through me, stumbling a little as I moved. Nick sat up and held out his arms.

"Oh, come on, it's that bad. It's natural. I was going to offer to help you. Actually, I needed to tell you something."

I ignored his offer and stayed across the room. Okay, so this might have come off as a prude to him, but I was embarrassed with how I'd been reacting to him last night, how my hormones had taken over. Some part of me wanted to jump on him and kiss him, even now, though it was easily overwhelmed by the embarrassment. "What?"

"Liz..." Nick slid to the edge of the bed, sheets and blanket across his lap, looking genuinely regretful now. "Sorry. I fell asleep with that smell in my nose and... I forgot how shy you get."

That did not make me feel better. Instead, it made me worse, like he was an adult and I was still a kid. I narrowed my eyes. "Is that what you wanted to tell me?"

"No." Nick shook his head. "I have to go to my brother's tomorrow for the day. That was what the argument was about last night, I wanted to tell you today, so you knew. I still want to see you before you go but tomorrow... I have to help him. I don't have a choice. Come back here." He patted his lap. His lap, where he was still excited. "I just want to kiss you. You're my girlfriend. I won't force you."

"That's probably a good thing. Maybe you should go now."

My answer was not what he expected. He looked a bit hurt even and his jaw squared stubbornly. "What?"

"It'll get me used to being alone again. I'm not going to know anyone on that cruise and I'll handle it better if you leave me alone. Besides, I won't see you again after Friday, will I?" Nick opened his mouth and I cut it off. "I don't ...do casual stuff with guys. Okay? I liked yesterday. But... I don't want casual flings. And ...stop calling me your girlfriend. We're going to not see each other after today."

"Liz, wait." He slid out of bed, as I hurried into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. "Come on. I'm sorry. I was just teasing you."

I turned the shower on, steaming hot, stripping off. Maybe I could wash the smell of it off. Whatever he could smell, anyway, because I couldn't smell a thing.

"Liz!" He pounded on the door. I even heard him growl. "Come on. Let me talk now."

"It's better this way anyway. Get out!" I didn't want him to get out. I wanted him to get dressed or … my heart sank as he left, door slamming.

When I got out and was dressed Nick was gone.

My heart sank as I stared around the room, not even seeing Nick's suitcase, the room somehow now empty and plain without him. It was the best thing, I knew that, I knew that after Friday he'd be going his way and I'd be on a ship to England. Then to home.

Still I felt like shit.

There was snow outside the window again, I moved closer to gaze outside, my anxiety and panic fading now with the embarrassment. I was twenty five and I was still freaking out about a man with an erect penis? Or being turned on? What was wrong with that anyway?

The more I Calmed down the stupider and more upset I felt. What if he had just stuck around hoping for sex, buying me stuff, taking me out? But what if he hadn't? I didn't know him anyway. That was the part of this that made the least sense to me. I met this man on a plane, let him stay with me, let him kiss me, and ... Well, I hadn't disliked it, had I? I'd wanted to kiss him, and touch him, and do all kinds of other things, and he had been there when I'd been upset on the plane, and in the bathroom the first night and...

I flopped into the seat, groaning softly, rubbing my head. Nick had only treated me good. He liked to tease me too, I knew that, he'd spent half the time trying to get me to laugh. Maybe he'd gone a bit overboard today but not really that badly, did he? It wasn't like he'd whipped it out or started something while I was asleep. Maybe he was just used to women who weren't virgins and wasn't used to a women my age who was like this.

I'd worked myself up for being on my own in a strange country for weeks on end, getting myself mentally prepared for the stressful task of nightly anxiety attacks, of making new friends, of being social in a large crowd. Because I was shy, no matter how much he teased me about it, because he was right. I only had a handful of friends at home and spent more time studying or drawing than I did going out. Oh sure, I loved to go out every now and then, I loved live music, I loved to hang out with those few precious friends, even dancing in small venues. Sitting in a cafe, drinking, eating with friends and family, drinking a wine with them. But so much of my social life was University now. Sometimes, when I did venture into a party and found myself in crowds of drunken youths, I'd end up retreating out of the throbbing electronic music into the cool night air, winter or summer, and watching the sky instead. That was better than throwing up in the bathtub with a dozen other idiots.

I'd prepared myself for a month like that, believing it'd be worth it. Strange city, strange bed, anxiety attacks, and a cruise ship where every night was a party and I'd mapped out the best places for watching the stars when the crowds or music got a bit too headachey for my tastes. I'd prepared to be alone, make temporary friends on the ship, and ...well, okay, some part of me had hoped I'd fall in love with someone at first sight, have a romantic time on the ship, and ...what, get married? Or something?

The sad part was that Nick had fit right into a gap into my life I didn't know that was vacant. More than a temporary friend. No matter how many male friends I'd had, I'd never wanted to do touch them the way I'd wanted to touch him, never. It was almost like love at first sight, or first day anyway, except my body was accepting it faster than my head was.

Truth was the news about him having to be away tomorrow and knowing that on Friday I'd be on that boat on my own, I suddenly felt reality crashing onto my head, the reality that I was allowing a man who was a near stranger into my heart and life when he'd be gone just as fast as he came, and that man seemed to know more things about my body than I did. He just had to look at me and I melted. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be fine with being on my own.

The snow sped up a little, outside the window, and I went to stand outside on the balcony watching the snow fall on the city. I wasn't fine with being on my own now.

I wanted Nick to come back. He could run around with an erection all he liked. He'd made it clear I called the shots about that kind of thing.

A phone rang with a strange ringtone and I rummaged around in the bedsheets, finding Nick's phone. He must have left it behind.

"Uh, hello?"

"Who's this?" A cowboy accent, sharp, jumping at me with all the friendliness of a cobra.

"Um. Elizabeth. Nick left his phone behind."

"Where is Nick?"

"I kicked him out."

A pause, silence, then laughter. But it was fast, so fast I wondered if I'd imagined it at all, because that man was back at me, no friendliness there whatsoever. There was scorn. "Is that so?"

I cringed. He probably thought I was a whore, letting Nick stay here, his voice dripping with dislike. ...well, not exactly, but it was obvious that he didn't like me and didn't care to change that opinion. "If you want me to mail the phone somewhere I could, I'd just need an address."

He hung up on me.

I stared at the phone, disbelief, and then suddenly it started to ring again. It was the same number.

The second I accepted it, his dislike went to loathing. His tone didn't raise, it didn't need to, his words cut enough.

"Elizabeth or Ginger or Pussy-cat, or whatever you go by, don't pull that shit with me. Nick might buy your damsel in distress bullshit but we know you've used him to get thousands of dollars worth of clothing, pulling the pretty woman thing on him, and now you've stolen his phone too. And what else? The second I hang up I'm reporting it stolen and if you don't hand his stuff into the police station I'll-"

"You'll what?" I snapped, glancing at the name on the phone cutting him off, fury at this stranger called Clayton. "What, Clayton? Hunt me down? Fuck me up? You're the kind of man that makes me afraid to think about trying sex, the kind that assumes all women are whores and just want to be paid, so I naturally have to be one too. Right? Well, fuck you, I kicked him out because I didn't want to have sex. Please, hunt me down, I'll enjoy slapping _you_ stupid." I hung up on him this time, anger and humiliation seething through me, his words having cut deeper than they might have another time, after the way I'd reacted to Nick last night. When the phone started to ring again I threw it out the window.

My phone rang then, making me jump, and I lifted it up carefully. What if that man had been able to hunt me down?

I breathed a sigh of relief when it was customer service at the airport. They'd found my suitcase and would deliver it by the end of the day.

Thousands of dollars worth of clothing? I stared at the clothing he'd bought me, wearing it, plucking at the fabric. Seriously? He had to be kidding. But he didn't sound like he was kidding. I had to get it off and get my old stuff on again, hurrying out to the little laundry room on the floor, trying to wash them as fast as I could and dry them. Hand washing worked fine, it was too little to wash it in the machine, and I waited impatiently, sitting there on the chair beside it, trying to relax. That other man, Clayton, had distracted me for a moment from Nick, but just for a moment. I wished I hadn't destroyed his phone now, I might have been able to ...swallow my pride? Ask Clayton to tell him to come back?

Yeah, sure, and then the man would have made it his personal responsibility to make sure that Nick came back with roses and ...I didn't know. Whatever it was men brought upset women. Then we'd, the three of us, have a lunch and get to know each other.

Haha, right.

Forty minutes and finally everything was dry enough in the dryer to be put back on. It smelt okay, looked okay, and I hurried back into my room to get changed, carefully pulling off the expensive stuff, the bra, the panties, putting them aside so I could step into my old panties and jeans, tugging on my faded bra, and reached for the t-shirt.

Nick came in at that moment, arms full of flowers, a bag on his arm, his eyes widening a little at the sight of me standing there in jeans and a bra, lips twitching. "That's a nice way to greet me."

"I..." I covered my chest, realised that was pointless when I had a bra on, cheeks flushing hot. "Thought you'd gone. For good."

"I left you a note on the fridge, I didn't just run away." He pointed at a note I'd missed, moving closer, dumping the flowers on the table. Nick grasped my arms, tugging them away from my chest, thumbs brushing along the underside of my bra. "I can't see anything under your arms. Let me look."

I let him look. I was so relieved to see him that I'd have taken it off for him, a strange emotion and desire to do anything, though I forced it to calm down. "What ...did your note say?"

"I'd be back with breakfast and a surprise when we'd calmed down." Nick sat in the chair, tugging me into his lap, making me sit on one of his legs as his thumbs traced along the edge of the bra, around the back. "Is this an old one?"

"I found out how expensive that stuff was you bought me."

"Oh?" He grinned, reaching over to where I'd thrown the dark blue bra, lifting it up. "Did you?"

"Is it too late to return them?" I muttered, leaning against him, Nick's body trembling slightly when I did, arms hugging me closer to him.

"Yes. Put it back on. It's better support." He kissed along my shoulder, slowly, brushing the old bra strap down my shoulder. I felt it unclasp, suddenly, releasing my breasts and being pulled slowly over my arms. "Lean back."

I shook my head, cheeks burning. "I'm not a whore."

"I don't think that. I have enough trouble getting you to lie in a bed with me when we're dressed. But I do like your breasts." Nick kissed my warm cheeks, fingers tracing down my spine, all the way to the hem of the old jeans. "Who told you that?"

"Your friend called. Told me how expensive they were. I'll wear the cheap ones." I tried to tug it back on and Nick refused, holding it where he'd dropped it, hands stroking across the sensitive skin on my sides.

"Friend? What friend?"

"Clayton. I-" I leaned my head back, slightly guilty now, aware that I'd destroyed his phone. "I may have destroyed your phone. When he accused me of stealing and pretending I was in trouble."

"I know you did. I found it on the street but I always knew you were smart." He laughed, shaking his head. "Have you got your phone?"

I pointed at the couch and stayed against him, shy, knowing that if I moved he'd tug the bra off and I'd be topless. Nick waited, patiently, and I felt him slowly shredding the straps of my old bra, tearing the fabric as if it was paper, making it clear he wasn't going to let me wear it any more.

"Hey. That cost fifteen dollars at kmart."

"I'll give you fifteen dollars then. Bad support on this one. Let me see you. Please." He spoke the last word softly, in my ear, his leg rubbing up between my legs slowly, lips tracing the curve of my neck.

"They're saggy." I muttered.

Nick snorted, shaking his head, and bit my shoulder lightly. "Let me decide that. Then I'll call Clayton and tell him off." His knee continued to brush against me, pushing up into the space, my breathing increasing with the slow movement, it triggering that heat that I'd struggled with last night. "Please."

I leaned back, slowly, Nick tugging the bra off, eyes moving down off my face to my chest. I bit my lip, so nervous, wanting to cover them up, terror rising as he took longer than I'd expected to do anything.

"They're gorgeous." Nick traced across them so carefully with a feathery touch, along the outside, then slowly tracing in, till he could touch my nipples, circling them and pressing against them. My breath hitched when he leaned down, his leg pushing up against me, kissing them, tracing them with his tongue, hands on my sides. "I love them. Now." He leaned back up, kissing me hard, tugging me against his body harder till my knee was brushing against his own crotch, and I felt his erection still there. Or had it come back? "You relax and I tell Clayton off. Leave your bra off. Please."

"Only if you take your shirt off." I muttered, making him laugh, tugging it off so fast several of the buttons broke free.

Nick lifted me up, carrying me to the bed, and dropped me there, only leaving a second to get my phone. Then he crawled on top of me, tugging my legs around him, pinning me on his side of the bed as he dialled in a number. Hands stroked across my breasts, his head resting on a pillow beside me, hips gently grinding into mine.

"Clay? Did you call my girlfriend a hooker? ...implying is the same thing. I know she's telling the truth, I was there at the airport with her, I spoke to the customer service for her. She's not just another one. I don't care what I was like last week or ... Did she? Fantastic. I'll bring a camera for that." A pause, Nick's hard body pressing into the softness between my legs through the fabric, pressing harder and longer than before, eyes fixed in mine as he watched my body respond. A voice raised at him, but he cut it off. "Clay, I'm busy reassuring my girlfriend she has nice breasts after the work you did. I already made it clear what I intended to do. Now quiet and go play hide and seek with your kids. I'm busy." He hung up on Clayton, grinning, throwing the phone to the floor as it started to vibrate almost straight away. "Now, where were we?"

I didn't know about him, but I was already at that state of arousal I'd been in last night in bed, Nick's hips not letting up on me as he'd been on the phone, his hands teasing my breasts. "Giving me the other bra?"

"Not yet. I know you're not ready for sex but-" He leaned closer, kissing me, tugging my legs up higher. "We could ...stay like this. With clothes on."

"Like this?" My heavy breathing hitched as he moved my legs that fraction. Suddenly he was really grinding up against me, really getting to that spot, and he _knew_ it. "Dressed?"

"It'll still feel good." He gazed down at me, eyes going over my open mouth, flushed face, heavy breathing. "Or we could have less clothing so you feel more. I want you to enjoy this."

"How much less?"

Nick shifted off me, fingers on my waistband, undoing the jeans and sliding them off. I watched, legs tightening, embarrassment flooding over me as I was left lying there in just the panties. He gazed up from my feet, throwing it aside, his eyes taking in my bare legs, up my thighs, a knee edging in between my legs and parting them. "If you want me to stop, just tell me."

"I ..." I didn't want him to stop. "No more clothing off?"

"No more off. For now." He agreed, slowly pulling my legs apart, tugging me down the bed, kneeling between me in his pants. Nick leaned down, lowering himself against my body, kissing me hard as he moved gently against me, his attention on every sound I made, like he was watching out for a sign to jump back and stop. His breathing was increasing, faster, his own arousal rubbing against me through his pants, fingers playing with the sides of my panties like he was tempted to pull them down too...

But he didn't.

I felt empty, somehow, almost wanting him to get rid of the rest of the clothing, but I was too nervous, too afraid of what'd that would mean, making due with this. We moved against each other, our bare chests rubbing against each other, I could feel his heartbeat and his breathing fast against mine, taste his sweat on his lips, his hips moving just that bit faster now, rubbing against my sensitive spot, driving me crazy. Nick opened his eyes after a few minutes, catching my expression, my swollen lips, open mouth, eyes half open, breathing hard, and some emotion flooded across his face.

Suddenly he stiffened, groaning, moaning my name against his lips, and I knew he'd came. He didn't stop though, kept driving himself into me, determined to make sure he wasn't alone. It was only a minute before my body caved in, my eyes shutting as I cried out in a soft moan, arching my hips into him as the pleasure flooded through me.

Nick rolled onto his back, slowly, keeping one leg between mine to rub against me till he was satisfied I'd finished, holding me against his chest. I flopped, exhaustion and relief making me feel like I couldn't move, some deeper need satisfied. I just wanted to lie there. Nick tugged the sheet over us, hands running along my back, kissing my shoulder while we cooled down, a lazy smile on his face.

"Like?"

I nodded. Leaned up to gaze down at him. He looked so satisfied, so relaxed, this was clearly an area of life he knew well. How to please a woman. What was wrong with having sex with him? Having my first time with a guy who treated me so well? Other people had bad memories of it, an unsatisfying time, or a teenager who couldn't last, or some other horror story.

The problem, I realised, was that it wasn't just sex I wanted from him. I wanted a lot more.

"Was that the surprise?" I asked, yawning, and he shook his head. Nick dug into one of his pockets and unfolded something, holding it up for me to see.

"I'm going on the cruise with you."

I stared at it, then at him. "What?"

"You're right. I can't call you my girlfriend without more time together. So we're going to England, and to some restaurant your sister says you like, then you can meet my brother, and then after... after..." Nick hesitated. He sat up, slowly, pulling my legs around his lap so that we were against each other, tugging the sheet around my shoulders. "I was thinking you could stay a bit longer."

"I can't afford to. Besides, my visa won't let me." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I did want to stay longer, suddenly, even with my study. I'd delayed it till August anyway so why not?

"Work for my brother. You can use our spare room in our apartment, he'll let you, he's rarely home anyway. Stay longer. I want to take you to where I grew up, and show you around, I want to be serious about this. No rushing it." Nick stroked my face. "Please. I don't want to chase you to Australia but if I have to..."

"Okay." The word slipped out before I could think. What would Susie think! Mum! Dad! Actually... they might be amused. "Okay. As long as it's a real job. No pretend work. I want to really work."

He grinned, a wide grin, hugging me against him hard, kissing my face, my neck. "It'll be real work."

"Why?" I asked, and he leaned back, blinking at me.

"Why what?"

"Why do you want me?"

"I told you. I'm keeping you." Nick replied as if that explained everything. "Mind if I shower first? I'm taking you ice skating in the snow after breakfast."

"Go ahead."

Nick stood up, slowly, heading to the wardrobe. Nick's stuff, which I'd assumed was gone, had actually been put away. I tugged the sheet around my near-naked body, self-concious all over again, watching him.

I dressed slowly, changing my panties, legs still weak from the thing we'd done on the bed. If this was how I felt now, how would I feel when I let him go all the way? I was startled to realise I'd actually already accepted that I would. I wasn't sure why, or when this had happened, just that … I knew it would happen.

Nick cleared his throat, leaning against the wall, watching me as I did the jeans up. He moved closer, pulling the bra on, 'helping', as he kissed the back of my neck, arms coming around my middle to hug me against his chest. I tried to pull on one of the tops, struggling as he refused to move for a minute, before he made a mock groan and moved backwards.

"What's for breakfast?"

"Waffles and pancakes." Nick tugged the containers out of the bag, pancakes that were probably a lot less hot than before, fresh fruit cut up, melting ice-cream, and started to put them on plates while I pulled on shoes.

"Yum."

Breakfast was quick, a zap in the microwave warming the pancakes and waffles up again, the two of us stealing from each other, though Nick easily out ate me. Then we headed downstairs, about to walk out the door, when I remembered that my suitcase was coming soon.

I asked at the front desk if they could hold it and was reassured that if it came, they'd take it upstairs for me, probably partly encouraged by Nick's note that he tried to slip across without me seeing.

We headed to Central park in a taxi, Nick seemingly unable to let go of my waist, clearly relaxed and happy now. He paid the man twice what he wanted, helped me out, and led the way to the ice skating rink through the falling snow, holding hands again, Nick brushing against me as he walked.

"Now, Aussie, hang onto me and you'll be fine." He informed me once we had our skates.

I smiled a small secret smile at that. I actually ice skated a lot at home. Australia might have only had a few places where it snowed, sure, but we did have ice skating rinks. He skidded onto the rink first, metal cutting across the ice, and I watched him as he circled around in the snowflakes, the little white flakes falling in Nick's dark hair. Then he held out his hand.

"I won't let you fall."

I skated past him, one quick easy jump onto the ice, leaving him behind. Twisted around,so I was backwards, holding out my hands for him as I slowed down to let him catch up. "Come on, Nick, I won't let you fall."

Nick charged at me, as I skidded slower, pushing me up against the railing and kissing me hard, laughing as he stumbled a little himself. I held him up.

"Full of surprises, aren't you?"

"Mm-hmm." I agreed, tugging his head down, brushing my lips against his ear.

We circled around in the snow, music coming and going, Nick struggling to keep up with me. It always amused me to see him stumble to his ass, maybe a little too much, circling back to help him up. The rink was pretty quiet right now. Was it school time? Probably. We slid around, teasing each other, with only a handful of people there, the wind blowing the snow in swirls around the rink, sky grey above us. Nick apparently got so tired of being the one to fall that when I went to help him up again he tugged me down, pinning me down on the ice, laughing and kissing me, the freezing ground pressing up through the fabric.

"Liz?"

"Let me up, I'm getting wet."

"I love you." He didn't need to pin me down then, his laugh fading, eyes fixed on mine. Nick waited, anxious, his cheeks going red as if the words embarrassed him, made him feel vulnerable. The snow continued to fall on him, as I gawked at him, melting on his hot face, covering his shoulders and hair with the flakes. "I ...don't say that. To everyone. I just wanted to tell you that. You don't have to say it back."

"I love you too." The wave of something, like anxiety, but different, washed over me at his face. At the intensity of the look there, like something had clicked in me, surprising me by how I already knew... how I maybe had known from the second he'd barged into the bathroom on the plane. Love at first sight? Corny stuff.

"Move in with me." He added, kissing me gently, cupping my face with one of his freezing hands, as we stood up slowly. "Stay with me here."

"I already agreed." I reminded him and he blinked, shaking his head, his trademark smile coming back.

"Oh yeah. You did." Nick shook his head, slowly, as if he was half asleep.

"Tonight."

"What?" He tensed, struggling to keep upright, my arms going around him, brushing the snow out of his hair.

"Tonight." I grinned at him, ducking under his arm, moving away. Whether he got it or not wasn't the point. The point was I'd decided that he could be the first, tonight, decided before he'd even said the love word.

He tried to follow, grabbing me as I circled around and passed him, the two of us spinning and falling on our asses again, Nick shielding my head with his arm from the hard ground. He pinned me there. "Did you say tonight?"

I nodded and his eyes lit up.

"Are you sure? You don't have to rush. I'll wait as long as you need to."

Another nod, we got up, as someone told us to stop fooling around, Nick's hand refusing to let me go. He held me there, the two of us moving around slowly, till Nick exited and pulled me with him.

"What?" I blinked as he tugged off his skates. "It's not night yet."

"I'm going to ...get something. It might be a few hours. Do you want to wait here or go back?" Nick stood up, embracing me, the skates bringing us to a closer height, warm bodies pressed against each other in the freezing weather.

"I could go back. Make sure it's the right suitcase." I replied, and he nodded, kneeling in front of me to undo the skates and take them off one by one, putting a boot on each foot, my hand on his shoulder for balance. "Nick?"

Nick glanced up, finishing off the last boot, looking as if he almost expected me to change my mind.

"I ...don't do that kind of thing. A lot." I almost told him I'd never done it, almost, but what would he think? "So..."

"I guessed. It's okay." Nick moved closer, wrapping his coat around me, hugging me against him. "Trust me. Far as I'm concerned, you're already a part of my pack."

"Your... pack?" I blinked at him. Friends? Family?

"The people I care about most. Pack." He blinked, embarrassed almost, and we made our way slowly out of the park, Nick's hand clutching mine harder than usual. "I guess it's not a normal term."

"No. But you're not a normal person."

Nick nodded, letting go of my arm to squeeze my shoulders, kissing the side of my head. "Not even close. I can't wait till I can tell you everything."

"Like what?" I gazed sideways up at him.

"Not allowed to tell you yet. Family secrets, you know, needs permission. I'm working on it."

"My family would tell you everything in an instant. Then everything that I don't want you to know." Oh yes, I could picture it now, Nick would be surrounded, a mixture of adoration from Susie, politeness from Mum, and Dad testing him with fake hostility.

"They already were." Nick informed me, hailing a cab with his free arm. "Susie has my number. Or had it, anyway, I suppose I better do something about that."

"Sorry."

"Clayton's paying for a new one. By the way-" Nick glanced at me as the cab pulled up, opening the door for me, only continuing when he slid into the other seat and had given the driver the address. "-Did you really tell Clay to hunt you down so you could slap him?"

"He was being rude. Told me I was using you for stuff."

Nick laughed. "He was being protective. I think you might have shocked him. Most h- people don't speak back to him like that. Another reason to love you. What if he shows up?"

"Then I'll slap him." I muttered.

"I can't wait to take you home to Stonehaven."He grinned. We pulled up in front of the hotel and Nick kissed me gently. "Right, I'll be back about six. Dress nice, we're going out first."

"Okay." I slid out, Nick's hand not letting go of mine till the last second, and watched the taxi pull away again.

Telling Nick was one thing. Standing there, on the street, suddenly aware that in ...I checked... five hours, he'd be back... and in seven hours...

I had a hell of a lot of preparation to do, I suddenly realised, and anxiety came with a rush. Oh god. I needed a shop. Wax. Would a razor do? He'd seen me virtually naked before, sure, but that didn't stop me from getting jitters that had me heading down the street and buying stuff. There was a woman there who thankfully seemed to know something about make-up. I had no clue.

Then I remembered I was supposed to go to the bank and panicked. She was helpful, looking at the name, and I wandered the short walk to the bank, trying to calm down, trying to not get lost in my panic. I promised to come back afterwards.

The lines were long, I stood there for over an hour, until they finally could help me. It took another hour to get everything done, the forms for the claim, ID checked, banks contacted, new temporary card handed over, confirmation that I had my luggage insurance claim waiting for me, before I headed back for the little shop.

Instead of make up, I got directed to a little hair salon place, and was offered a 'friend's discount' for leg waxing. Make up. They assumed I was going to be proposed to, or that was what I gathered, because I could only tell them 'It's a big night'. Then, waxed and covered in make up, looking bizarrely glamours, I made my way along the street, trying to ignore the fact that it'd cost more than I'd have liked. Oh well. Waxing would last longer on the ship. Getting lost, when I was jittery, was far too easy and I ended up having to walk back some streets after asking for help again. I was too shy to try the taxi hail thing.

It was already four thirty and I tried to relax, eating a very late lunch, watching the TV and taking out the green dress to lie it on the bed. The suitcase came at five, the man downstairs happy to bring it up for me, and I rummaged through my other stuff.

I was tempted to wear pants with the dress, something I usually would do, but what was the point if I had waxed my legs? If I was going to let someone tear hair off me with hot wax then I may as well make sure that it was appreciated as much as possible.

When I was dressed, wearing the dress, standing there with the make up still good, I shivered. Even like this, I wasn't sure if I was feeling any less jittery about tonight than I had before. How did women do this? Was it better when it was an impulsive thing? At least I'd thought to pack a thin black bag, easier to carry, and stuffed my things inside it. Tugged on a necklace with citrine and modavite, and flopped onto the bed, trying to stay calm. Quiet.

It wasn't working.

What if it hurt? What if I was wrong? If I asked Susie, she'd be all over me, I knew her. This was one of those times I wished I had more close female friends to ask.

Nick came in after half an hour over stewing over this. "I'll change and we'll go. You look amazing."

He took out something, heading into the bathroom, and it took him half an hour before he was satisfied, coming out in his boxers. I stood up, as he rummaged through the wardrobe, coming up behind him.

Fingers pressed against his back, making Nick stiffen, my fingertips exploring the curves of his muscles along his back, along his sides, down his arms, up to the nape of his neck where a curl twisted there. I wasn't sure why I was so interested. It just suddenly was, everything about this skin, this back. I wondered why he had a scar there and one there. He breathed in slowly, goosebumps on his arms, holding onto the edge of the wardrobe as if he'd fall over without it.

"Keep that up and I'll need to shower again."

I stood back, a bit embarrassed, and he twisted his head back to grin at me while he dressed. Hand in hand, we headed back out, teasing each other with gentle rubs with the sides of our bodies, my cheeks flustered and Nick's face mirroring it.

First love. It was the most incredible thing in the world. I gazed sideways at him, at this man I wanted to leave my family to stay with, aware that deep down I didn't want anything else now. That reality was frightening and overwhelming, like I could almost sense the time I'd be willing to give him, and the fear deep down that he wasn't serious.

"We're going somewhere special. Your sister said you like to stargaze so..." He squeezed my arm, glancing down at me as we walked, making our way through the streets. "Well, you'll see."

"How much has she told you?"

"A lot." He grinned. "Come on. I'll show you something before we go."

We were heading down streets, I saw a famous street nearby, watching as we walked. Nick gestured towards it. "Times Square."

I looked at it, the heap of cars, and then followed him as we made our way along the streets further. After a ten minute walk we came to an apartment building, Nick leading me through the front doors, and taking a lift up. He tugged keys out of his pocket, pushing them in the door, and opened it.

"This is home."

Nick led me inside, hand in mine, tossing the keys casually onto a table against a wall. I gawked at his home, at his apartment, not what I'd have expected. It wasn't large, sure, but it wasn't small either and I could see Central Park from here. This apartment was anything but shabby either, new carpets down, dark wood for the furniture, perfectly clean, with photos of people on a shelf. Photos and, I saw, the image of a house. He led me through the hall, into a large room, arms tugging me onto a bed.

"This is my room. You're the first woman to come here." He grinned, kissing me, holding me on one of his legs as I looked around. It matched him, a leather backed bed, soft sheets, a master bedroom with marble, doors opening onto that balcony. "My brother sleeps in the other room. He has less clothing than I do so he didn't need the closet. Your room..."

He lifted me up, standing, and led me into a spare room. "Is this one. We kept it in case any of our friends needed a place to stay. They don't seem to like New York as much as I do though so you get it. That is, if you still want to ...come back with me."

"Of course I do." I stared around the room, the clean room, with views that people in this city would probably kill for. "Is this a fancy neighbourhood?"

"No point moving here if I don't enjoy it." Nick responded, squeezing my arm. "We could bring your stuff here in the morning before I leave to meet my brother. If you want. Stay here tomorrow night."

"I'd like that."

"Course, you could share with me." He grinned, nipping at my ear. "Sleep with me in my bed. I don't mind."

"Maybe I will." I turned to face him, stroking his face, trembling a little. By tomorrow we'd have done it. By tomorrow, maybe we'd do it again here, or maybe not if I was too sore. The reality of what I'd agreed to was sinking in fast. I didn't mind it, exactly, but it was so fast.

Nick lifted me up, carrying me back onto his bed, and climbed on top of me, kissing me slowly, gently, his nostrils flaring as he nuzzled against my neck. I ran my hands down his back again. Then he shifted to my side, pressed something on a remote, and a cabinet slid open at the end of the bed to reveal a TV. Nick gave me a different remote.

"What's this?"

"Third date. Starts with a personal viewing. Let me see your legs." He slid the dress up, slowly, running his hands along my bare legs. "Did you wax them?"

"Maybe."

"I'm going to have trouble behaving with you." He growled deep in his chest, bending over to press his lips against my thigh, fingers lingering a little longer on my inner thigh than usual. "Turn on the movie?"

I turned it on and found my favourite film starting. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind... the film I never got enough of. Nick flopped back and we lay there, side by side, hands entwined, sometimes teasing each other with light touches or kisses, but Nick kept trying to behave. I could see it in his face, he was fighting the urge to jump on top of me here and now, trying to focus on the film with me.

When it was over, he shifted up, turning it off and climbing over me to kiss me harder, hands running up my legs, only to pull back when I froze, fear running through me. Nick grinned down at me, tugging me up as he stood up.

"Come with me. I want to show you something." Nick threaded his fingers through mine, leading me back out into the main room, over to the photos. "This is Stonehaven. Elena. Jeremy. Clay and Elena's twins. Clayton. I know he's a pain in the ass but I love him like a brother. He's always been protective. And this..."

He hesitated, lifting the last one up, showing me. It was of a man who looked more or less like an identical copy of Nick, if just a fraction older.

"Brother?"

"No, he's not my brother. I tell everyone that because it's easier. He's my father."

"He looks like he's just a few years older than you." I held it up beside Nick's face. The two really did look like brothers, similar smiles, the older man's eyes a fraction darker, hair slightly different.

"That's why I tell everyone he's my brother." He smiled, relaxing. "Had me when he was seventeen."

"Susie had her first baby when she was that old." I gave him back the frame and he carefully put it back down. "So you live with your dad?"

"He's not home a lot. He'll like you though. Antonio always wanted me to bring home someone I was keeping." He pointed at some other people, rambling off names. They all looked like models, gorgeous men and that one woman, like they'd stumbled out of magazines. "I want to take you there when we get back."

"So that's who I'm slapping?" I picked up the photo of Clayton. Nick laughed and nodded, coming to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He wasn't what I'd pictured. He was blonde and actually kind of cute.

"Who are we slapping?" A low drawl from the other bedroom Nick hadn't taken me too, a voice that I knew from the phone, and I felt blood drain from my face.

Nick's arm tightened around my arm as Clayton stood up, fixing me with a stare of pure loathing, arms still crossed against his chest. I didn't need him to tell me how much he disliked me.

"What's she doing here, Nick?"

"She's moving in."

"Is she?" Clayton stepped closer. Despite my balls on the phone, I had to admit, in person the man was pretty intimidating. He wasn't even looking at me and I wanted to run screaming. "Does Jeremy know about this?"

"Not yet." Nick admitted. He tightened his grip on my arm. "He will."

Clayton's eyes traced over me, over my body, the clothing, the make-up, I knew how it looked. I suddenly wanted to wash all that damn make-up off. It'd seemed like a good idea at the time. I probably did look like a hooker. He glowered at me, scorn slapping me across the face, and my cheeks went red as he turned his back on me.

Nick's body had stiffened too. He leaned down to kiss the side of my head. "Go wait in my room for a second, okay? Let me have a word with Clay."

I nodded and headed for his room, legs shaking a bit, aware that I'd been sized up and judged exactly how I didn't want to be. Soon I had the make up washed off in the sink, face cleaned of the stuff, as I heard voices raised outside. They were arguing about me, I realised, heart sinking a bit. Clayton didn't want me around. Nick was mentioning someone called Elena, which apparently didn't count because Clayton didn't take her home after three days, where as apparently I wasn't the first girl Nick claimed to love. Just the first one he'd brought here. Naturally I was using him. The accusation hurt more than anything else... because, in a way, Nick had been giving me stuff. A lot of stuff. But I hadn't lied on the rink.

I slid out the front door, face red, arms crossed as I made my way to the lift. Then I saw it needed a key card. Damn. Stairs were there though so I used them instead.

Nick caught me halfway down, a bag over his arm, grabbing my arm and holding me still.

"Sorry. He's a bit over-protective. Where are you going?"

"Back to the hotel." I muttered. It'd upset me to be looked at like that. Nick stepped closer, thumb brushing against my lips.

"Not till we're done with our date. Come with me." Fingers threaded through mine and I let him lead me downstairs into a garage. We headed for a sports car. Nick held open the passenger side, grinning as I gawked at his car, and headed into the driver's seat when I was inside.

"This is your car?"

"I like fast cars." He shrugged and dropped the bags into the back seats. "Clayton will like you eventually. He just isn't good with people in general. He'll calm down after a while."

"If you say so."

Nick squeezed my hand hard. "I know him."

We drove through the city, Nick's hand coming to rest on mine when he wasn't working the gears, concentrating as much as he could on the road. It was dark now, the sky clearing, snow starting to melt again on the streets and drip off the trees, sparkling in the lights of the city. We didn't stop anywhere in the city, except for a quick stop at a restaurant , and Nick only ducked in for a few minutes, coming back with a plastic bag and containers steaming hot.

"Right on time!" He pushed them onto the back seat beside me.

"What is it?" I glanced back, only to have his hand blocking me, turning my head back to the front.

"Vegetarian dinner. Let's hurry before it gets cold." Nick pulled out and started along the streets again. It took over fifty minutes before I found us pulling up in an empty parking lot beside a beach. Nick slid out and gave me the plastic bag as he picked up the bag and something else from the back seat.

We made our way down the deserted beach, two rocks in the water standing out against the dark night, stars starting to break through the cloud cover, and Nick threw down a blanket.

"I thought I had to get dressed up?" I was a little confused and he nodded.

"For our third date. On the beach." Nick flopped onto the blanket and patted the spot beside him, as he adjusted the bag he'd brought, and when I sat he wrapped a second one around our shoulders, cocooning us away from the cold wind. "Then we'll go to Central Park for dessert."

I leaned against him as he offered me one of the containers and a spoon, the food still warm, Nick carefully pouring the hot water into one of two mugs after tipping something into them. The smell of coffee drifted up with the steam.

It wasn't a fancy dinner, the cool wind dancing around our heads, but it was warm under the blanket with him, the meal good, coffee warming us up. Nick rested back with me against his side, watching the stars with me, hands teasing my body until he gave up stargazing and instead focused on me.

I almost thought he wanted to do it here. Maybe he did, I wasn't sure, but we lay there for a long time, Nick's legs trapping me against him, starting to run his hands over my dress and sliding them up underneath until his fingers were pressing against the panties. Whenever I wriggled, he held me firm, keeping me there, his legs spreading mine wider, the blanket covering us both up.

"Watch the stars." He nipped my neck softly, pressing harder against me through the fabric, driving me crazy with every movement he made. Every time I moaned, I felt him shiver, but he didn't move.

Heat exploded in my hips and I cried out against his neck as I twisted my head into it, burying my face there, hearing him chuckle softly as he tugged my dress back down my legs.

"Just to start." He promised, resting back again, not trying to do anything else. "I won't do anything else till we're in the room again."

I turned and kissed him, ignoring the stars, the two of us shifting down so that we could lie without our bodies touching. I fell asleep at some point. After a while Nick nudging me gently awake, and we packed it up. The cool air shocked me fully awake once the blankets were off us.

"Dessert now."

"Okay." I yawned, nodding, and helped him fold up the sandy blankets. Nick tossed them all into the back of the car and we drove back, the warmth of the car lulling me back into another sleep. It was only when we'd reached Central Park that Nick woke me up again, hand stroking across my face, only love in his face when I opened my eyes and yawned. Real genuine love. I hoped it was, anyway.

Nick took my hand and we walked through the empty park, side by side, his arm brushing against mine. Walking in a park like this might have been silly any other time, alone, at night, but I knew I was safe with him. He sat me on a bench and promised to find something hot and sweet before we headed back to the room, kneeling down in front of me to kiss me so hard that I felt the stirrings come back, body warming up, his fingers sliding up my legs, knees around his chest.

"I'll be back soon. Don't move."

"I don't think I can walk now." I muttered and he laughed.

"Good. I'll hurry. Call if you need me." Nick stood up and jogged off towards the lights of shops.

I sat there on the bench, gazing up into the sky at the stars, waiting patiently for Nick to return, my breathing slowing and the heat fading just slightly. I wasn't as afraid of tonight now. He could do this to me with just a touch, get me like this, and what would he do with something else? He kept teasing me, kept making me feel good, and I knew that ...it wasn't long now. It made me shiver but not entirely with fear. Anticipation was a better word. Nick was deliberately dragging out my wait till I couldn't _be_ nervous any more.

Feet came across the grass beside me, sloshing a bit in the melting snow, and I stood up to turn around and tell him, "You're fast."

It wasn't Nick. The man grabbed my arm, grabbed it so hard I cried out in pain, and dragged me around the bench, grabbing my mouth to cover it. Terror filled me, so much, and I struggled hard, trying to pry him off me. The man had so much strength I couldn't believe that it was possible, his hand closing even harder on my arm, my hand going numb as he cut off circulation.

"Shh, pet." He dragged me back, or rather, lifted me up and stumbled backwards into the darkness of the bushes, and turned around as if he was going to walk somewhere. I felt his nose against my skin, heard him inhale deeply, arm tightening around me. "You're the one, all right."

A familiar drawl came from the darkness in front of me.

"You've got a strange way of picking up chicks."

Clayton stepped forward, relaxed, his contempt for me shared for this man, as he narrowed his eyes at him. Then he stared at me with the same expression.

But not for long. His eyes narrowed, just for a fraction of a second, before that contempt faded a slight bit. He knew I wasn't in on this.

"She's my girlfriend."

"Yeah, she looks like she is." He didn't sound like he believed the man, particularly when I started to struggle against the hand, trying to tear it off me. "That's what my wife does every time I surprise her. Look like she's about to wet herself with fear."

"She is my girlfriend and she's afraid because she knows your reputation. She knows exactly what we are." The man bit my skin, bit it almost hard enough to break the skin, making Clayton visibly tense. "Exactly what we are. She wanted to hurt your friend. Break his heart. Now I'm taking her back home with me."

"Put her down then, mutt, and let her walk."

"If you run, pet, I'll hunt you down. You understand?" There was a hiss in my ear, a threat that chilled me to the bone, arm tightening even harder and nails breaking through the skin. The man lifted me down, slowly, and the second I could, I scrambled away from him. To Clayton. Okay, sure, he was about as warm as a frozen cactus, but he was familiar and one of his hands reluctantly grabbed for me as I skidded in my haste, yanking me up and pushing me behind him. Screw the man. I was leaving soon anyway.

"Did he break the skin when he bit you?"

"N- No." I reached up to touch it.

"Check it. Check it very carefully." Clayton ordered, keeping his eyes on the man.

I did, wondering if he was afraid about aids or something, but it wasn't broken, just looking very upset. "The skin's not bleeding or broken."

"Is he your boyfriend?" Clayton turned his eyes on me then, the rest of his attention on the man who was backing up.

"I've never seen him before in my life. I promise." I protested, fear making my teeth chatter a bit, sliding a bit on the wet ground in my haste to back up from him.

Clayton's eyes fixed me with an unreadable stare. I expected him to accuse me of lying but...

He didn't. His nostrils flared, blue eyes boring into mine, and then he turned his attention onto the man.

"Nick is coming back from that direction." He pointed and stepped past me towards the man. "Go."

I went, stumbling a little, fear still throbbing in me. Fear and disbelief. Why would this man lie like that? He'd just about dragged me into a dark part of the park too.

Nick came up and found me halfway there, offering a hot cocoa, frowning at the look on my face. He glanced from me and then to where Clayton and the man were vanishing deeper into the park. "Clayton again?"

"Some man said he was my lover and tried to drag me into the park. Clayton stopped him." I shivered a little. "Called him a mutt."

"Ah. Come on. Clayton will handle him."

"Shouldn't we call the police?"

"No need. He'll scare him off." Nick closed his arm around my shoulders, leading me to the car, glancing back. "Come sit in the back seat with me. I'll wait till Clayton leaves just in case."

"Okay." I turned around, seeing Clayton's head twisting in our direction for a moment, just a moment, as if he'd heard him. Impossible from this distance. But maybe they really were as close as they claimed. Sometimes Susie knew what I'd do before I did it too.

We slid into the back of Nick's sports car and he turned on the heater, sliding my jacket off so he could rub my bare arms.

"You're shaking so much." He muttered, concerned, yanking his own warm jacket off and pulling it around my shoulders. Nick moved closer, kissing my shoulder under it, inhaling slowly. "So afraid."

"He scared me but I'm okay. Your friend was good." I reassured Nick, stroking his face, finding that he was almost shaking too. "Behaved like usual but he told me where you were."

"I told you that you'd like him eventually. Come here, Liz, it's okay." Nick tugged me into his lap, my legs straddling around his waist, and I was held against his chest as he nuzzled against me. "No one gets to touch you."

"Except you." I reminded him, feeling him shiver a little at that, felt his body rub up against mine just a little bit more than it had. "In the hotel room. Not here."

"Not here." He agreed, sliding one of the straps down, fingers tracing under the dress against the bra, playing with it. "I promise. I'll just check you're okay. Where did he grab you?"

I showed him my arm and he made his way there, lips touching my skin lightly, kissing the spot as he inhaled, slow, deep, frowning as if he could literally smell the man on me.

"It'll bruise badly. Is that blood?" Nick stroked my arm, growling as he found traces of blood coming off my skin. "I bet he did it on purpose. Trying to mark you."

"Do guys do that a lot?"

"No." A hand slid across it, making me shiver as it teased the sensitive skin, Nick's other hand sliding between my legs. He teased my skin there, the inside of my thighs, stroking up and down them. "You smelt so good when I left you. Now you smell like fear."

"Do I?"

Nick nodded and continued to tease me, his thumb tracing circles along the inside of my thigh, so slowly, so damn slowly, that I felt my hips shift forward without any thought from me. He laughed softly and held me still. Continued the very slow teasing, getting about halfway before he stopped, and by now my breathing had gotten faster again, body heating up.

He slipped the other strap down and inhaled sharply when he found where the man had bit me. Nick shifted me closer, harder, as if it was his turn to panic. He flipped on the light switch and checked it, checked it so carefully, fingertips brushing along the bruised skin. "It didn't break your skin."

"No."

"Nearly did..." He growled, tensing, and I could see he was tempted to get out of the car right then and there. "He nearly bit you."

"Stay put." I held him down now, my own fear fading a little as I tried to comfort him, though I wasn't entirely sure why the bite upset him more than anything else. Hands stroked up and down his arms, along his chest, I could feel his heart hammering away, his face white with rage. "It's not that bad."

"It could have been." Nick relaxed, slowly, but it was only when I directed his head gently in my direction and caught his gaze that he finally relaxed, panic fading from his face. He reached up to cup my face in return, kissing me gently, so tenderly that I forgot my fear, forgot everything except that I was with someone who cared about me. "That's the last time I leave you alone in a park."

"Agreed."

Nick's hand returned to between my thighs, higher now, tugging his shirt off with his free arm. I wasn't sure what he was up to until he'd grabbed a stale bottle of water from the floor, holding me carefully, as he lifted it up, and gently tipped water onto his shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting his saliva off you." Nick started to wipe the bite, slowly, carefully, getting every last part of it. As he worked, fingers traced up higher, till they were exploring the edges of my panties, making my breathing get a little bit faster again. "All gone. Now. I've got to make sure you feel good all over again. Stupid mutts."

He threw it aside and kissed the spot, teeth grasping across it, and I inhaled sharply when Nick's fingers grabbed the panties and yanked at them, tugging my hips forward with them, the back of his knuckles brushing the heated skin there. He grinned, continuing to pull even as I couldn't move, the edges of it digging into my hips and thighs and I felt the fabric finally give.

"Not here." I reminded him, and he nodded, reaching down to tug at one side of them, tearing again, then at the other side, until they were falling off me in two pieces.

"Just getting you ready all over again." He informed me, lifting me up so he could tug it away, stuffing it into his pocket. Nick reached up to cup my head, holding me still with the other, and I felt his fingertips explore the space he'd opened up. His other hand stroked my hot cheeks, lips against mine, and I shut my eyes when they pressed in a little bit more. "Just ...curious."

"It's not different to any others..."

"They're all different." He informed me, fingers pushing a little harder, parting me, and I gasped when one finger pushed into me just a tiny bit, eyes flying open to see his warm brown eyes still fixed on me, a little grin on his face. "Oh, you like that. Don't you?"

He tugged his hand up, bringing the finger to his nose, tasting it in front of me. My eyes widened...

"Come here." Nick's hand's sank onto my waist, holding me there, kissing me so hard that I panted when he let me go, clearly the rage from before gone as he took his time making me feel every bit as hot as I had when he'd left me in the park, hips driving up into the bare skin there, fabric rubbing.

A thump on the car made us both jump, after some time, I wasn't quite sure how much. Clayton shook his head at us through the window.

"Some lookout you two are. Where is the hotel? I'm driving."

Nick gave him the address, tugging the seatbelt around us both, and when it didn't reach he scowled and held me there. "Don't move."

"I really should wear a seat belt." I muttered.

"Don't move." Arms tightened harder.

"Don't start anything back there, Nick, or I kick you both out." Clayton warned from the front.

"Get him?" Nick called, resting his head on my shoulder, hugging me as his hips moved up against mine in a slow rhythm.

"Jumped into someone's van. I made it clear what we'd do if we saw him again."

Nick nodded, stroking his hands down my back under the jacket, his breathing hitching just a little when I tested him by pressing down. He liked that.

"Nick." A low growl from behind me.

"She did that one."

"Elizabeth." Same growl but for me. At least he wasn't insulting me this time. "How's the bite, Nick?"

"I cleaned it off. No breaks in the skin."

"Good. If there's any reactions..."

"I know."

I listened to them, not entirely sure what they were worried about, unless the man really had been sick. Nick's hands, moving up and down my back, was keeping me calm, his body under my legs keeping me in that heightened state of arousal, and I kept trying to lift up, worried that I might actually not make it to the apartment before ...well, before I came again.

I wondered if it was the same for Nick because I could feel it under me, feel it pressing up, and taste his sweat as he slowed down, as if he was trying to hold on longer.

"Hurry up, Clay, or I'll throw you out the car." Nick growled after a minute and I heard a low laugh from the front.

"We're here." Car door slid open, Nick helped me slide out around the front seat, and climbed out after me.

Nick didn't let me walk. He picked me up in his arms, and I opened the front door for us, Clayton pulling away as we slid inside the door and locked it again.

He carried me up all six flights of stairs, breathing hard, though I knew it had nothing to do with the physical effort, his arms shaking, kissing me so hard again I struggled to breathe.

Nick jiggled me impatiently, as I struggled to open the lock again, dropping me gently to the ground and pinning me against the door from behind as he took the keys and struggled himself, his hips pressing against my behind. He'd waited all day for this. So had I, really, even if I was nervous as all hell. The door swung open, suddenly, Nick's arm around my waist to keep me from falling over, and we stumbled inside. He spun me around, mouth crashing onto mine, no more gentleness, or trying to hold back, I felt the full force of what he was feeling and... I loved it. Every single part of it. Everything he did, every kiss, I did my bloody best to match it equally, giving into exactly what my body wanted.

"Do you want me to slow down?" Nick shoving me against the wall and tugging my legs up around his waist, sliding the green dress up.

I shook my head. No. I couldn't think about this. If I did, I'd get scared, and I didn't want to be scared. "Don't you dare."

I heard a zippier, felt something prod against me, Nick's fingers opening me up, and Nick lowered me onto him, my own weight allowing his erection to inch inside of me, into my damp body, and I only had time to register that this was it- my first time- before he torn me open with a thrust up inside me, my face buried in his shoulder, pain filling me for a moment and taking over the heat in my hips. I cried out against his shoulder, partly with the pain of it, but also with the sheer sense of it. I could feel him inside me, throbbing, feel my body trying to let him stay there. Everything about this felt ...incredible.

"I love you." He moaned softly against my ear, holding me there, Nick's heavy breathing against my chest.

"I love you too."

Nick inhaled sharply, leaning back to gaze into my face, and he watched me as he started to move again. My body forgot the pain the more he moved, the dampness covering him enough to make it ease up on me, and after a few minutes I could forget that it was my first time, I was in the hands of someone who knew how to please a woman and he wasn't letting me miss out when he was having such a good time. It took only a few minutes before my body climaxed, only a minute after that his too climaxed, fluid being released inside of me.

We stayed there for a minute, our skin cooling, arms around each other, and then Nick squeezed me tightly.

"I meant for that first time to be different. Go shower and give me ten minutes in here." He grinned sheepishly, lowering me to the ground, holding me there until I was able to stand.

I headed into the bathroom, slowly, the ache vanishing and the sense of pain and fluids returning. I looked down to see blood and something white running down my thighs. Oh crap. That was right, I'd forgotten about condoms and stuff. It shouldn't matter though. Just one time.

When I got out of the shower and found that he'd left a box in there for me. Victoria secret? I held up the undies, nothing too bad, and found a robe there. I supposed it was silly to dress more when he was going to take it all off again.

I stepped out into a dark room. Candles were everywhere, dozens of them, the bed free of the cover, and there were even petals on it. Petals? Where on earth had he gotten those? Nick stood there, waiting, a sheepish grin on his face. He'd even re-dressed himself in some fresh clothing. I wasn't sure why when they'd come off again.

"This was how I wanted it to be." He admitted. "Like?"

I nodded. He reached over to take my hand and had me sit on the edge of the bed. He held out a box.

"Take one."

I took one, finding myself withdrawing a condom, and he grinned. Stepped backwards again.

"Let me go first." Nick reached up for his shirt, slowly unbuttoning it, the warm light of the candles lighting up his skin as he took off clothing, dropping it casually across one of the chairs, no corny grin, no laughter, the most serious I'd seen him for the few days I'd known him. Had it really been just days? Somehow it felt longer.

My body was reacting to the sight with a throbbing heat returning between my legs. I inhaled slowly, nerves making my heart race, but he turned me on. How strange... I never knew that someone could be turned on like this just by watching a person strip. Suddenly strippers made sense. Nick would make a fortune off me if he kept this up.

The socks were thrown to one side too, Nick's breathing faster now too, and he stood there in the candlelight without any sort of shame or self-conciousness. Then he moved to me, slowly, wary, like he knew how nervous I was getting. Handed me the condom.

He wanted me to put it on him. He wasn't mocking me then. He was so close, so careful, like he knew how nervous I'd been and when I unwrapped it and hesitated, my fingers trembling, Nick's hand gently guided me to him, the firm skin throbbing under my fingers, his breath hitching when I ran a finger along it. I went red, touching it, wondering if this was seen as 'large'. It seemed large to me. No wonder why it'd hurt at first. I placed the condom over the tip, hand shaking, Nick's fingers guiding mine as we got it on him.

It glowed in the dark, which kind of scared the crap out of me, because I'd never really seen a man up close. Sure, movies and stuff, I saw them sometimes when they weren't hard like this, but here? In front of me? Feeling it move under my fingers like a pleased cat, the glowing rubber around it moving with it? And the way Nick breathed, his soft moan as my fingers ran down it with the tight rubber, I'd been so overwhelmed by that reaction that I'd felt warmth flood through my chest. Love. Was that what it was really called?

"Your turn." He stood back, moving to sit on the bed, and I stood up on my shaking legs. Nick wanted me to strip for him like he had for me.

I tugged the tie of the robe loose, my chest bared first. I had to freeze, cheeks going red, but Nick waited patiently. My eyes went up to meet Nick's eyes, searching for any sign of disgust or something, but there was only that expression he'd had before. That hungry expression that scared me and flattered me all at once.

The last part was harder, my fingers slipping as I tried to undo the knot completely, before I parted the robe and slipped it off, dropping it out of the way. Then Nick stood. I looked up, alarmed slightly, when he came over and placed his hands on my hips, tugging at the panties himself, kneeling as he slid them down my thighs and legs, pressing kisses along the inside of my leg as he went, inhaling lowly, lifting each foot to free me from them. Then he moved backwards, taking them with him, sitting on the bed to gaze at me like I was some kind of goddess.

I stood there, legs weak, biting my lower lip as he openly drank in the sight, the light now falling across my own pale skin. Nick could see every curve, every bend, everything I thought needed to be thinner, and he didn't seem to see it the same way I did.

"Come here." He opened his arms to me and I stepped forward, kneeling in front of him, so that he could kiss me. Nick did, trapping me in his arms, our skin pressed against each other, I felt his chest rubbing against my nipples like nothing had, felt his lungs expand and contract in his hard breathing, didn't protest when he pulled me up onto the bed and lay me down on it. His lips continued to keep mine occupied as his hand trailed across my body, Nick shifting onto his side beside me, scooting up so we were both fully on the bed. His hand came to stroke me between my legs, teasing me with his fingers, kissing me with slow gentle kisses, mouth tracing along my neck, breasts, down my stomach, then back up again, like he couldn't decide which part he liked best.

He moved on top of me, tugging my legs around his, and when I stiffened he checked me, hesitating himself. When I didn't shove him off Nick pushed himself against me, mouth opening in a groan as he struggled to get it inside of me even with the dampness there, fingers moving between my legs to pull me wider. I inhaled sharply, Nick's finger dipping inside me and rubbing it against me. It slid in, just a fraction, my body stretching painfully around it.

"Nick..."

He took that as encouragement, his lips came back down, tongue finding mine. It prodded against me again as his hips lowered, Nick' hand trying to open me up. Then it was inside, pushing inside so fast it took my breath away, his hips driving into mine roughly and into my sore body with it. I cried out, eyes squeezing shut, not so much with pain but with surprise. Nick groaning above me. His arms wrapped around me as he stayed still a moment, my body hurting less than the last time.

Nick didn't wait long, only long enough for my body to adjust, before he started to move, trying to be slow at first, but moving faster as I started to make soft noses of pleasure at the movement, careful to make sure his body rubbed against that tiny sensitive spot with every thrust in, our bodies getting lost in each other. I joined in, I moved up against him, which just made him move faster, harder, something my body didn't mind at all. It wasn't what I had assumed, it was messy, it was wet, I tasted his sweat and my own as he kissed me, and it made noises that might have been funny at other times.

I cried out as an explosion rocked through my body, pleasure flooding through me, hugging him hard against me. Nick cried out too, I could feel his body doing that thing again, and after a minute he collapsed on top of me, our sweaty skin slipping against each other, the petals sticking to us.

It was sunrise before we stopped, sunlight coming in through the window, the two of us exhausted. Nick changed the sheets, seeing that I could barely stand up, and then lifted me onto the clean bed. I fell asleep as Nick gently plucked petals off me and himself, his fingers brushing against my body. If he noticed the blood he didn't mention it, instead being gentler than usual, continuously telling me how much he loved me. After so few days I should have been afraid or suspicious, and I was deep down, but I _wanted_ to believe it. I knew that I loved him.

He woke me some time later by shifting up and heading into the shower. I fell asleep, relaxing again into the sheets, exhausted after last night.

I woke again to find him throwing things into his suitcase, somehow doing it nearly even in his haste, and I saw that almost all my stuff was already packed up. I'd forgotten we were moving today.

"What about the food?"

"We're taking that too. Can't waste good food." Nick gestured towards the plastic bags on the table. "Can you carry somethin-"

He froze, climbing into the bed, pulling up the arm that the man had grabbed. Nick's face darkened as he stared at the swelling red and purple blotches there. "Damn. I should have put an ice pack on that."

"It's not that bad." Well, okay, it wasn't that good. But he'd done enough last night to make me feel good. "Ice pack at your place. I can carry stuff with my other arm."

"All right." Nick stroked across the tender skin and brushed my hair out of the way to check the bite. It wasn't that bad either. "Want a shower first?"

I nodded and stood up, slowly, Nick's eyes drifting down to between my legs where there was a trail of dried blood down the inside.

"Was I too rough?"

"No." I shook my head, standing up, Nick's arm coming to help. "It's okay. I'll shower and wash it off."

I made my way into the shower before he could argue, cringing as stepping into the bath made parts of me ache like they'd never ached, aware that maybe he and I had gotten a bit carried away last night. Not that I really minded, exactly, I had no memories of it hurting. It had only been good. The skin was a bit swollen though and it was still bleeding, just a fraction.

Yep. We'd gotten a _bit_ carried away.

Nick came in with clothing for me, watching me shower, his lips twitching as he openly took in my naked body now. That smile increased when I went red and shut the shower curtain on him.

He waited till I was done, not budging, and when I stepped out, made it clear he was helping me dress. Then we headed downstairs, hailing a cab, and the taxi driver waited patiently as Nick had to go back upstairs for another armful. I stood there for a few minutes while he went up for the of the plastic bags.

I saw him then. That man, from last night, standing there across the street. He was just watching me, no expression on his face, but it terrified me all over again.

He'd said he'd hunt me down.

Just as it looked like he was about to cross the road, Nick came, and we slid into the taxi. I didn't tell him who I'd seen. I didn't know why, fear maybe, but we left him behind. Nick helped me unpack my stuff into the spare room before heading off to help Clayton with something. There was a bar he'd meet me at, later that day, and I could help myself to the fridge and movie. He trusted me to stay in his home, on my own.

Not before Nick tugged me into his bed though so he could 'properly' say goodbye. Again I forgot about the pain, or not getting carried away.

Afterwards, Nick slid off me again, rolling over so I was resting on top of him, our sweaty skin cooling, the sound of a front door slamming and someone coming in.

"Where are you, Nick?" It was Clayton. Clayton rattled Nick's handle.

"It's locked. Five minutes." Nick called.

"She in there?"

"She's living here." Nick reminded him. There was a mutter outside the door and I heard a door slam somewhere else. "Still full of sunshine, isn't he?"

I smiled weakly and he leaned up, kissing me gently, stroking my face.

"Liz?"

"Mmm?" I shut my eyes, just about ready to fall asleep again, content to lie there like this.

"Marry me?"

Huh? My eyes flew open, lifting my head to stare at him, expecting to see him joking. Nick wasn't kidding. His warm brown eyes were fixed in mine and he almost looked afraid.

"After three days?"

"I told you. I knew I was keeping you. You don't have to answer now but...I mean it. I want to keep you."

"I-" I trailed off, lost for words. He'd proposed to me? Now?

"Don't answer me now. Tell me on the cruise when I can ask you properly. Or later." Nick seemed to be unable to hear me now, his own cheeks red, embarrassment flooding across his face. "I shouldn't have asked. Sorry."

"Okay."

"Huh?"

"I'll marry you."

He grinned wider, squeezing me hard, rolling me over. Nick ignored Clayton, making love to me all over again, slowly and carefully, ignoring the pounding on the door as we kept as quiet as we could, giggles from both of us as Clayton swore at Nick to get off me.

"Eight tonight. Okay?" Nick stood up after, dressing. "I know what you mean now about face hurting from too much smiling. Ow." He rubbed his cheeks but it didn't stop him from grinning wider.

"Okay." I sat up slowly.

"If you want to wash stuff, the washing machine's in the little storage room. You'll find it." Nick went to climb back onto the bed. The door to the balcony opened, Clayton grabbing Nick, tugging him away from the bed.

"Enough, Romeo." Clayton's eyes came onto me, I cringed, but he seemed less... aggressive? "Finance, huh?"

My cheeks went red as I pulled the sheets up and nodded. Clayton inhaled slowly.

"Are you bleeding? Is it the bite?"

My eyes widened as he seemingly could smell the blood between my legs, face going bright red, tugging the sheets higher.

"I was rough. Last night. Come on, Clay, you're embarrassing my woman."

Nick may not have got it, what blood meant, but Clayton apparently did. He shoved Nick out the door, locked it, and circled around the bed.

"Relax, I'm not going to touch you. If Nick wants you then I need to know something. I won't share it." He dropped down, low, kneeling beside me. Was there surprise? "Was he your first?"

I nodded, so embarrassed now, and he inhaled slowly, shaking his head.

"He doesn't know, does he?"

A shake of the head.

Nick barged in the balcony door, yanking Clayton up, playfully grabbing him in a headlock.

Clayton took one glance at me, then at Nick, and I saw the ghost of a smile there. Just a tiny one. "She's really not like your others, is she?" Another shake of his head, like he wasn't sure he could believe this. The contempt was fading in Clayton's expression now and while he wasn't clearly a fan of me, there was a kind of understanding dawning in his face as he stared at me. "You getting soft in your old age, Nick. I think grey hairs are coming in now." He slid, suddenly, out of Nick's arm and got Nick in a headlock instead, dragging him out the bedroom. "See you tonight, Elizabeth."

"I don't have grey hair!" Nick complained, I could hear him, as Clayton dragged him out the door. "Address is on the table, Liz!"

The door slammed shut behind them.

I spent the day trying to stay sitting down and heal the achy bit. The quick conversation with Clayton had taken me back a bit, apparently being a virgin before I met Nick counting for something, if only to prove that I didn't usually sleep around? I had no clue. How had he smelt it anyway? I couldn't smell it. I tried and ...no luck. I smelt other things, other fluids, sweat, that kind of thing, but no blood in them.

After a while I had to swallow my pride and use an icepack. I wanted it to calm down if Nick wanted that again tonight. He didn't need to know I was a virgin before last night and if I kept bleeding he'd know. I'd tell him sometime. Maybe on the cruise.

TV in America was strange. ...well, no, it wasn't really. But it wasn't that interesting either. I ended up watching some of the films Nick had, napped, showered, cooked and cleaned, washed my dirty clothing and tried to get ready for that night.

I didn't leave the apartment though. The man across the street had scared the hell out of me. I wondered if I should tell Nick or something. But would it upset him? Call the cops? They didn't seem to want me to do that. The fact that Clayton had said he'd warned him... that didn't make sense. Why not call the police? Why warn him? Did that man take this kind of thing into his own hands? He did scare me to death when I met him the first time. As pretty as the blonde man was, he had this thing about him, this sense that he could be trouble. Some girls would love that in a guy. I wasn't like them, it repelled me, I used to get beaten up by guys like that in primary school and teased in high school for being 'fat'. The guys that were beautiful and knew they got away with anything. I'd learnt to look beyond that face for something else, trust my instincts about those kinds of guys, because they may have looked good, but that didn't mean they were good.

Still, Nick seemed to trust Clayton, and I knew Nick was good.

I ate dinner as I waited impatiently for the time to tick on, ignoring the TV, trying to read one of my books while I tried to ignore the clock as well. When it was finally time I dressed quickly and headed outside in the darkness, hood over my head, following the address at a quick walk.

There was this sense that I was being followed. I didn't like it. My heart hammered harder as I walked, faster, finding the bar with the help of a couple on the street, glancing back over my shoulder more often than I wanted to admit. I had to tell Nick. It was silly, we'd be gone tomorrow, but I _was_ afraid.

I sat at the bar waiting, buying a drink to calm my nerves, hands trembling a little. The man at the bar offered me a free drink, probably seeing how freaked out I was, and I accepted it without thinking. I didn't even look at him as I downed the second drink. It'd be my last for the night, as far as I was concerned, but it seemed to help my heart relax.

Ten to eight. Nick would be here soon.

A live band started to play in the corner, people dancing, crowds of people thronging around the bar. I stood up, legs weak, heading for somewhere that was less crowded, trying to find somewhere I could see the door.

My head was spinning though. So was the room. Was I drunk? Was this what drunk felt like? I should have tried it at least once so I knew. The sudden fear that I'd been slipped a pill rushed through me and I tried to head for the door.

Tried to, anyway, but I couldn't make it. Arms tugged me into a lap, twisting me around, the muscles in my body failing faster and faster, feeling the first urge to sleep come over me. Was it Nick? I saw the throat of the man and knew it wasn't.

"Quiet, pet."

My heart raced faster, knowing that voice, fighting the waves of unconsciousness that came over me. It was him again. How did he know I'd be here? Where was Nick? He'd do something. I knew he wouldn't leave me here like this. I heard the man laughing, hands groping me between my legs, fingers pushing up inside me so hard that tears pricked into my eyes. He was boasting about what he'd do with me. I just waited, waited for Nick, as I tried to stand.

"Liz?" Nick's angry voice, rage cutting through the bar, the voices hushing around us. "Let her go."

Nick. Relief flooded through me, so much relief, that I almost passed out then and there.

"Let her go? She's my girlfriend. Had you going though, didn't she? Did you love her?"

Laugher, all around me, men laughing at Nick.

"Bullshit. Let her go."

"Go on then, Elizabeth, show him how eager you are to go back to him." Arms let go of me, letting me free, and I tried to stand up. I couldn't. I couldn't even fall off the man's lap, the fingers embedded deep inside me as he forced them in me, only my shoulders rising and falling.

I tried to pull backwards. I couldn't.

But Nick wouldn't believe them, would he?

"Bullshit."

"She's shrugging at you, isn't she? She knows, Nick. Knows what we are. You're pack. We're not. We like to see you hurt. Oh, you're hurt? Angry?"

No... I tried, so hard, and felt his fingers leave me, stroking my face.

"Come then, come and make a scene. I dare you. Get your pack in trouble because of a woman. Let everyone see what you really are."

All I could see was the man's chest. I couldn't even see Nick. What was he doing? Why wasn't he dragging me away?

"That's it. Run away. Run away like the scared man you are." Laughter, I heard Nick's feet leaving, heard his heavy breathing fading, and felt the man lift me up.

"Take her outside."

My heart broke then, knowing Nick had gone, that he'd left me. Abandoned me after he'd promised to protect me.

He'd believed them.

I couldn't stay concious then, the drug dragging me under, tears leaking down my face.

Cold water woke me up, that and pain stabbing through my lower body, body limp and heavy, head and chest in a slushy puddle. Someone was behind me, on top of me, grunting as his body moved backwards and forwards, his knees between my legs, hands clutching my waist.

Oh god. I was being raped.

I cried out, or tried to, tried to call for Nick, but remembered that he'd gone. He'd left me there. How could he have done that? The physical hurt of the rape was nothing compared to the hurt of that, the hatred, the anger at me, and that he hadn't seen that I was trying to get up. Tears leaked down my face and I heard the man above me laugh, other men's laughter echoing his, the green dress ruined in the snow and the puddle. It hurt. This man was hurting me on purpose. Legs shielded us from the ally way as it went on. It felt like hours.

Finally the stranger moved back and something hot and sticky splashed across my legs, thighs and back, then he was getting up, pulling his pants up, others coming to splash water across my back, ripping the dress off in order to wipe the skin there, another body taking the place of the first man. Other men. Using me like I wasn't real, like I wasn't feeling every stab, every sharp pain of it, my head loosing track of time or people. Maybe it was just a few. Maybe it was a dozen. I didn't know. I passed out after some time, cold water or not, only waking when arms lifted me up by my armpits, pain shooting through my body at the movement, seeing my own blood dripping into the wet ground beside the white stuff on my body.

"She'll do. Drug her and take her to the warehouse."

A needle went for my bare arm and when it didn't work fast enough, hands closed around my throat, squeezing. I fell out of the world again.

I fell out of it into a bathtub, freezing water around me, Nick's smell washing over me with a slam that made my heart break all over again. I was crying but his smell made it worse, harder, my hands were around my throat, grasping at it, trying to get it free from the hand around it. Only nothing was there. Nothing. I lay there, body shaking, tears running into the freezing water, arms holding me in place, someone shaking me from behind.

"Please wake up now. Come on. Wake up. Please." Nick kept saying it, over and over, like he'd been saying it for so long that the words had lost meaning and he was struggling to keep it up. "Stop it. Stop sleeping."

The voice added to the pain I was feeling, the betrayal, the hurt. Nick had left me. He'd abandoned me.

"You left me." My voice was raw, throat dry, trembling as I felt it. Felt the rape as vividly as it had happened just now, the heartbreak, the betrayal after all the trust I'd placed in him. Hot tears ran into the freezing water, splashing there, Nick's body shaking too. "You left me. You just left me there."

"You're awake?"

"You left me." I tried to stand, tried to get away, but Nick held me harder. "I trusted you. I believed you."

"Shh, it was a dream." He was kissing my shoulder, slowly. "I had to wake you. You started to scream."

"It wasn't a dream. They were raping me."

"No one was raping you. I was with you all the time." Nick lifted me up, slowly, as I continued to shake, my jaw chattering, face blotchy, lifting me out of the bath and trying to help me to stand.

"It wasn't a dream. I remembered it." A bench supported me, Nick peeling off the wet clothing, or trying to, but I held it there. Refused to let him do anything. "I remembered it and you left me there, and they raped me. You weren't with me. You left me."

"Left you where?"

"At the bar."

Nick's face darkened, body tensing, frozen there. He was soaking wet and fully dressed, like he'd just rushed me into a bath, his own body shaking as much as mine had been. The bathroom was familiar but it took me a while to put the pieces together. Towels. Soap that we liked. The crib that Nick had insisted on paying too much for, empty, and a changing table close to it.

"We're home?" My teeth were chattering as I stared around the room, body shaking, unable to believe it. It was home. Forestwatch. It was my home. I blinked at it, confused, trying to understand.

"Private jet. You didn't wake up for days." He reached out, then hesitated, withdrawing his hand when I flinched.

"I thought you'd know I was in trouble." Tears started all over again, I grabbed a towel, pulling it around my shoulders. That memory was the worst one I had, that rape, that moment when I felt the trust I'd had in him shatter. It didn't matter who it was, the alpha, or someone else, it didn't matter at all. "I thought you'd know."

"I'm sorry. I ...I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you come for me?" I tried to stand, nearly falling, Nick's arms grabbing me and keeping me upright. He moved the towel slowly across my wet skin, careful to not touch too much, and I leaned against him, sobbing for the months of it.

"I came back later. You were gone. I-" He hesitated "- was hurt. My pride was hurt, I'd spent all the free time away from you trying to convince them you were it. The last one. Then it looked like you'd used me like they said. I thought ... I thought it was too good to be true. I'm sorry. It's not an excuse. I just ...I thought they were right."

"They raped me in the ally behind it."

"I'm sorry." He leaned against me, breathing hard, shaking. "I found the dress. I'm sorry. Do you want me to get Elena to do this?" He asked, after I didn't answer him, as I stood there struggling to stay upright, my chest hurting with the pain that I'd forced away for so long. Was this why I'd forgotten it all? Because he'd hurt me like this? "Anne, you need to get out of those wet clothes. Do you want me to get Elena?"

"No. Don't leave me again." I was wounded, used, spoiled, and if he left now, I didn't know if I could ...could accept that my life had changed. That it had gotten good again, that I really had married, and had children, and planned for a good life. I didn't know that I'd be able to believe it. It didn't seem real all of a sudden. Any of it. "Not now. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere." Nick's trembling fingers started to pull the wet clothing off me, throwing it aside, flinching when I did, looking older than he had over a year ago, more scarred, a crease on his forehead. He still looked much younger than fifty, that was for sure, like a thirty year old, and maybe people wouldn't notice. But I saw it. We'd aged, we'd been hurt, and whatever I was feeling right now, he wanted to feel it so much that he probably was.

I saw my body in the mirror as if I'd not seen it since New York, all those months ago, saw the stretch marks across my stomach, the scars from the whip that I'd never loose, the tears on my face running down a chest that was slightly bigger than usual, my stomach recovering from carrying the babies. The mark on my arm where I'd been bitten, such an innocent looking mark, and then the ones that didn't show to the naked eye. Where I'd been touched and hurt and _loved_. I smelt them, the three little lives that proved it, the used clothing in a basket nearby, smelt the scents of the three little lives we'd created when he'd found me again. The tears slowed, as I stared at the basket, throat swollen.

Nick rubbed the towel across me, kneeling to stroke my legs gently, so careful to not scare me or move too fast. I watched him in the mirror, watched him struggle to stay put, seeing his muscles tense as if he wanted to leave and ...destroy something again. Last time he'd used an axe. Maybe he was wanting to go do that again. We did need firewood.

I laughed, hysterically at that, a reaction that scared even me, the thought so out of place with the memories that'd exploded in my head that it shocked me back into reality. Reminded me of the other things I'd remembered and that, even if he had left me, I'd found him. Maybe that was why I'd gone for New York in the first place, maybe even why when I'd nearly lost the will to run, I'd ended up at that apartment building he wanted me to live in. Deep down, I still had trusted him, still went to him. Nick hadn't let me down.

"You kissed me on the boat." I said, quietly, as the minutes ticked by, as he took a very long time, stroking with more than the towel now, his hands running across my body, checking for dampness. "I didn't see the tour."

"We can do the tour again." Nick turned his head up towards me as he ran the towel across my foot, though he really didn't need to, then back up the outside of my leg. He was still trembling, looking wet himself, skin pale with the cold.

"Nick, get your wet clothes off." I muttered and he stood up, resisting for a moment more to rub it against my wet hair. I growled and yanked at his shirt, tugging it off. I couldn't have sex right now but ...I wasn't going to let him freeze to death either. "You're cold. Get them off. How long was I asleep?"

"A week. Jeremy told me to let you wake up on your own but-" He trailed off and tugged his pants off, dropping them across the bench, face still as pale as it'd been earlier.

"Clayton didn't like me at first." I remembered that, the look on his face, the look he'd give any human regardless of their relation to Nick. "And my first time. Against a wall."

"If I'd have known that was your first time I would have tried to control myself better. Gotten you onto the bed, made sure you weren't going to get hurt, I can't believe I didn't think of it after when you kept bleeding all over the place." Nick grinned a shaky grin, tugging the towel across himself. "I keep kicking myself about that. I hope it didn't hurt."

"It didn't hurt when you were doing it. It was good. Help me into bed?" I waited and let Nick pick me up again, resting head close to his chest, shutting my eyes. "You were so good to me."

"I screwed it up after." Nick frowned and lowered me into the bed, slowly, climbing in beside me, then looking like he was tempted to get out again.

"Yeah." I agreed with that. But I held him there, not letting him leave, not wanting him to walk away again like that, I never wanted to see that expression on his face again. "But then you found me again. Or I found you. Same thing. You took me here."

"I promised I would." Nick shifted up onto one elbow, stroking my damp hair, fingers running through it. "I'm sorry."

"You also promised two beds, what happened to that?" I lifted my head and he laughed then, tension fading from his body somewhat, kissing my fingers.

"Sofa counted as one. I just didn't share that with you." He rested his head down and sighed, a long deep sigh, tension fading when I laughed softly. The shock of it all was starting to fade now. Things were settling in my head, memories, good and the bad ones. The rape had been the worst. Not just because it'd hurt but because Nick had believed them over me.

Even still, even if I was upset with him for that, I still loved him. I made sure he knew that. "I still love you." I muttered and he lifted his head, sudden, coming up to kiss me so hard my head sagged into the pillows, hand cupping my face, his lips trembling. "I'm still upset about it. But I love you."

"Don't ever not be upset about that. I should have dragged you home." Nick kissed my face, over and over, tugging me up. "I love you. Don't go back to sleep. Ever. Don't ever sleep again."

"I'm not tired." I let him sit me in his lap. It wasn't true. I was exhausted all over again, the crying over now, the pent up emotion gone. I reached down, checking the space between my legs, making sure that it wasn't bleeding or torn open. It wasn't. I was fine and it had happened so long ago now... though I doubted I'd ever forget what that man had done, that one that'd claimed to be an alpha, more than once. I remembered the way Nick had looked at me though, that first night, tried to focus on that. He'd made me feel like a goddess. That was real lust. Rape wasn't lust or sex, it was power, and that first time was just about power. Dominance. Control.

I wrapped my arms around Nick, head buried in his neck, inhaling his scent. The smell of Lily was there too, and Susie, and Dominic, maybe a few hours old. They were probably in the nursery if not here. "You made me feel so sexy that night, you know. Like a goddess."

"You looked like one." Nick replied. "Hair all over the white sheets like that. Still do when there's not snot coming out everywhere. Here." He handed me a tissue and I blew into it, hard, cheeks reddening as I realised just how much had gotten all over me and him. I tried to clean it off him as he watched, not apparently caring much right now, waiting.

"You proposed to me in your bed."

"Yeah." Nick agreed, grin widening slightly at that. "Scariest thing I'd ever done. It just popped out. Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

Nick helped me dress, my muscles struggling after being in bed so long, and only when I checked on the triplets and found them asleep could I let him take me downstairs. The urge to wake them rose, just for a moment, but if I woke one... I'd wake them all. It could be dangerous.

Clayton was sitting in the kitchen and he blinked at me as I came in, Nick right behind me, standing up.

"Look who woke up."

Oh yeah. I'd forgotten something I'd promised him. I walked up to him, slapped him hard, making him yell in surprise and jump back.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"I told you on the phone I'd slap you for calling me a whore." I replied, hearing Nick's laughter behind me, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder.

"You remember that now?" Clayton reached up to touch the red spot. His lips twitched, slightly, and he glanced over my shoulder to Nick. "Or did you tell her?"

"I remembered everything. You were so damn rude to me." I let Nick sit me down at the table.

"Just protecting Nick. I decided to give you a chance though when I realised you were serious about not sleeping around." Clayton sat back down beside me. "Had balls to tell me off on the phone like that too."

I laughed softly. "I figured."

"How did he know you weren't sleeping around?" Nick slid a plate over to me, covered in pre-made sandwiches, enough for a werewolf. Or me.

"Anyone with a nose could tell that after you'd slept with her. She was bleeding all over the place." Clayton shook his head at Nick. "How long did it take him to realise?"

"A few days after he brought me here." I paused, remembering the bite on my shoulder, and how stressed they'd been about it. I touched the spot. Nothing there now, of course, but with the memories still floating around, I knew where it'd been. "Maybe if he'd bitten me harder..."

"You'd have escaped it all?" Clayton asked, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. "Doesn't work like that, darling, you'd have died before we got you to Stonehaven."

So in other words, the alpha had more or less saved my life by biting me. And raping me. Fucking fantastic. A choice would have been better... the way Nick had probably planned it, bringing me here, introducing me, giving them time to get to know me, then offering me the chance when Jeremy finally gave him permission.

"Explains why Nick was so fond of biting me." I muttered. Clayton laughed again.

"You tasted good." Nick slid beside me, leg brushing against mine, chowing into his own meal.

I glanced out the window. It was autumn out there now, leaves golden and red, at least afternoon. "What's the date?"

"Third of October."

Oh. That was interesting. I'd turned twenty seven today. I wonder if Nick knew, turning to him, and he grinned a little.

"I wanted you awake for your cake. The screaming just gave me a reason to ...forget Jeremy's orders."

"You mean ignore." Clayton suggested, rolling his eyes.

"Forget. Happy birthday." Nick tugged me closer, arm coming around my back, though he remained careful... I was upset, he knew it, he was waiting for me to shove him back.

I didn't. I leaned against him, shivering slightly, and shut my eyes. Whatever he'd done wasn't worth pushing him away now. He'd more than made up for it since.

"How long till my babies are due to wake up?"

"Not long now." Another voice came from behind me, one that was just like Nick's, a hand coming down to rest on my shoulder. "You woke up."

Antonio sat down in the chair beside me, peeling Nick's arm off my back so he could hug me against him, and I let him. Had he been working when I'd been in their apartment? Maybe. Maybe he'd been here.

"Welcome back, sweetie. We were worried. Do you need to go for a run before you see them?"

I knew what he meant and I did need to, somewhat, my skin was starting to itch the more I woke up. But I shook my head. "No more waiting. I'll change tonight, I want ...want to..." Smell them? Hold them? Check them all over to see how much bigger they'd gotten? They looked bigger, asleep in the crib, Dominic looking bigger than his sisters already.

"We'll go for a run tonight then."

"Where's Matt?" I sat up, suddenly, straight, looking around for him.

"School. He's started primary school with Logan and Kate. Look." Clayton stood up, tugging his wallet out, and showed me a photo he'd stuffed in there of the three of them in uniforms, grinning their heads off, looking like they were ready to take on the world. Or the poor school, anyway. "He'll be back by dinner time."

"Is that safe? Aren't they behind?" I gazed at Matt in the photo. The dark shadows around his eyes were gone now, skin full of life again, red hair glowing in the sunshine. You wouldn't have known he'd been sick at all.

"For the school? Probably not. They seem to be catching up easily." Clayton sat back down. "Keep that one. I've got more."

Relief flooded over me, I leaned back against Nick, his arm coming around me again as his lips pressed against the top of my head.

I was home.


	26. Strength

I spent all the afternoon in the nursery with the babies, Nick and Jeremy showed up some time later that afternoon after someone thought to tell him that I was awake. They were smiling now, all three of them, and there was something incredible about having three new lives look at you and greet you with the first real smile you'd ever seen on them. Not the 'I'm going to poo' smile or the 'I've got gas' smile. _A real smile. _

Not just that but Lily and Susie had the exact same shade of blue in their eyes. Sure, this might change tomorrow, but right now I loved it. Blue eyes and nearly black hair. I wondered if it'd go light like Matt's hair had or if it'd stay dark. Dominic's eyes were brown now, dark brown, his own hair much lighter brown than his sister's dark hair.

Jeremy did his best to be as excited about this as I was, I knew, but I also knew from experience with my own sister that usually the only ones who saw every achievement as a miracle were the parents themselves. As I cooed and boasted about how much they'd grown, how Dominic had easily outgrown his sisters so fast, Jeremy checked me over.

"Jeremy? Did Nick tell you about me then?"

Jeremy nodded as he checked my eyes, pulse, before sliding backwards. "He told _everyone_ about you. Unlike Clayton, who seemed to know better to keep quiet..."

"Would you have let me come here?"

"Maybe after some time. Not after four days." Jeremy's lips twitched slightly. "Clayton thought Nick had gone a little mad when he called me wanting to tell you what he was. Nick got pretty angry at Clayton about falling for Elena, after all, and there he was suddenly boasting about his woman..." Smile deepened somewhat. "Antonio called it a mid life crisis."

"The family secret." Nick called from the chair beside the cradles, teasing one of the triplets with a toy, the arms waving at it, Lily telling him exactly what she thought of this in her own way. "What do you think? Would you have believed it?"

"I believe in aliens so probably." I stroke Dominic's soft hair, admiring the light strands, his brown eyes fixed on Jeremy as Jeremy held onto Susie. The problem with these three was that if one baby had something, the three of them got upset if they didn't have it. This was extending to physical contact. Maybe it was because they'd been so close to each other in the womb, I didn't know, I wasn't an expert on that. "After I asked you questions."

"About silver bullets and the full moon?" Nick asked.

"And what you looked like."

"I'll show you that later." Nick winked.

Jeremy leaned back on the ground when he was satisfied I seemed to have come through it safely. He stroked Susie's head, gently, gazing down at her without hiding his affection. "Are you up for a run tonight, Anne?"

"When Matt comes home, yeah."

"There's something else. Both of you can hear it now." Jeremy glanced at Nick behind him then back to me. "I had to check what I could use on you while you were asleep."

"Fair enough."

"So I had to find out if you were pregnant."

Oh. Now I understood.

"And?"

"Seems not. We'll keep checking but nothing."

Nick and I both sighed a deep sigh of relief at that. Oh, we loved these three, but more of them? Right now? I couldn't do that. And Nick, after how badly he'd taken the last pregnancy and birth, would take it worse than I had. He hadn't wanted kids to begin with, I still remembered that, and he was taking these three pretty well, adored them to pieces.

Jeremy checked the babies one by one before leaving the five of us alone in the nursery, letting Susie come and rest in front of me on the rug, heading downstairs to pick up the older kids with Clayton, and Nick scooted closer, quick to put Lily down before the other two noticed she was getting cuddles.

We went quiet, watching the three of them lying there, their eyes roaming over us and over the room as far as they could see, or staring at each other. My mind went over the things I'd finally remembered. Susie'd had his number. I wondered if he'd been upset, when he found out she'd died, for more reasons than he'd admitted. "Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you get to know my family?" I remembered the day I found out, that horrible fucking day, when Jeremy finally had told me what he'd discovered, Nick had gotten just as upset as I had.

Nick's face went pale then and he nodded. "Susie called when you never came back from England. She thought we'd been together so held your parents back but … when I told her I'd last seen you dumping me for some asshole covered in a nasty smell, she screamed her head off about date rape drugs. She was pretty upset with me. So I helped look for you. Even though I still thought... I ...thought you'd just run off with him. Like I'd tried to get you to do with me. Then Susie calls and tells me she's in America and if I didn't help her and your parents look... well, I liked them, and I wanted to find you." He added, quieter, "I suppose I was hoping I'd find you and you had dumped him."

"I'm glad you knew them." I wished he'd found me though. It would have made things a lot easier.

"Me too." He shut his eyes. Relief was in his face. "I'm glad you remember."

"Me too." I was glad, however hard it was, glad to remember it all. Every last part of my time with him. How Susie had been in contact with him from the second he'd sent her a photo, telling him what to do with me, setting me up from halfway across the world. Letting him touch me. Being looked at like that for the first time. Even Clayton's fantastic introduction. All of it.

Things made sense now. Nick's face, when he'd seen me in the garage, when he'd looked at my back in the car, his anger, his rage at the word Master, all of it. The way he'd behaved. The reason he'd been so quick to try and get me back again when he stopped believing that I'd hurt him.

"I think I was looking for you." I told him, as we sat there quietly, listening to the sound of wind outside blowing dry leaves against the windows, watching the three babies breathe and smile and _live_. "Even if I'd forgotten. I think I was looking for you when I came to your garage."

"I know." Nick moved backwards, stroking down my face, then down, fingers tracing along the scars he seemed to know the location of without looking. "I was having these god awful back pains, stopped hunting the mutt down, and came home. There you were. White as a ghost, bleeding all over the ground in the apartment building's front door, eyes reflecting the light of our headlights like some terrified wolf."

"My eyes reflect light?"

"Your entire body reflected the headlights, it was so damn pale, I thought I was loosing my mind and seeing some ghost. Especially when you looked at me like I was a stranger. Anne. Liz. Whatever you want to be called now."

"I don't know what my name is any more." I admitted and he laughed. "Maybe we better create a new name."

"Not happening. I'm confused enough."

I kissed him, and murmured, "Call me Liz when we're alone."

"I will. Call me Nick or sexy when we're alone. I especially prefer sexy."

I laughed and bit Nick's lip, tasting blood, making him yelp and try to bite back, his eyes crinkled as he grinned at me.

"_You_ didn't tell me we were engaged." I nudged him.

"With good reason." He leaned back, holding out his hand, as if he was introducing himself. "Hi, Anne, I'm Nick, I knew you as Elizabeth and we were engaged after four days. Nice to meet you again. What kind of wedding dress do you want?"

I saw his point there. I was already suspicious enough of him back then as it was.

"What about my stuff?"

"Still in the spare room. I didn't let anyone go in there. Once it was yours, it was yours." Nick sighed, leaning back, taking me back with him onto the bed, relaxing slowly. "Guess we better convert it to a bedroom for kids now."

"Bunks all over the walls." I could picture it. That fancy room suddenly filled with kid's stuff. That was probably not as common in that area of New York, that many brats screaming in an apartment, running down halls, it'd be amusing. And stressful. Oh well. That kind of stress I might learn to enjoy. It was a normal stress, worrying about lunches and crayons on walls and kids yelling, a stress that everyone could relate to. Most people.

We got called downstairs suddenly, lifting the three babies into the crib, Nick pocketing the baby monitor and coming with me downstairs. It was time for the cake.

The memories of that first rape kept haunting me as I tried to let them celebrate my birthday and it was only by reminding myself how and why it'd happened that I could try and focus on 'after'. The last time that man had touched me had been so different from the first time. I had to keep remembering the look on his face when I refused to cry or be afraid, when I taunted him, had to keep reminding myself that it'd been a power play.

One that I'd won.

The only other person I told was Daniella and Elena, in the end, the three of us retreating upstairs together once the cake was devoured and dinner was being put out. Daniella told Elena, finally, what'd she'd gone through, finally letting another person past the defences she'd used to keep others away for months. And Elena told us something she'd only told Clayton, something that still hurt her even now, her own past. How she'd known exactly what rape was all about. Neither of us could make it better for the other but the fact was, it was possible to come out the other side again.

Maybe it was unhealthy, for the three of us to get closer over that, but it did help. The fact that we'd survived and could move on.

That was what I kept telling myself as we celebrated the birthday, Nick showering me with presents he'd ordered, and I tried to get back into a regular life again.

The reality was different to what I wanted. Now that the memories had started to bleed through whatever I'd used to block them, they really started to come with full force and it took weeks for the memories to stop coming. Sometimes they were of little things, things I'd missed the first sleep, like trying Vegemite on a waffle and watching Nick try a spoonful of the stuff. The wind catching the foam crown and his voices all at once, so I had no clue what he'd been doing with it till it was gone, distracted by his kisses on the boat. Watching him shave. Silly things. Other memories were harder to bring up. Mostly of time in the cage. I'd go to sleep, afraid I'd remember another rape, only I never remembered another one. Once it was clear that I had a shot at surviving the alpha had ordered everyone to stay away until it was the right time for him to break me. But I remembered the torture of being in a cell on my own, all that time, the terror every time someone gazed at me, the fury at him. The desire to give in, to break, just for a hot meal, just for a real shower, just for someone to touch me with love again.

I'd dreamed of finding Nick at first or being rescued. Pain, nightmares Nick. Not always in that order either.

The man, Aaron, coming in some weeks after I'd been bitten. Sitting beside me, stroking my face gently, telling me that he was going to get me out. Going to get me home. That he was going to wait till the pain stopped. Telling me that he was stopping them from bringing me meat because he knew I didn't eat it.

He got me to fall in love with him. How couldn't I have? It became apparent that Nick was not coming, that he was ignoring the way I'd left stuff in is apartment, even my passport which I'd accidentally left in the Indian handbag while I was using the black bag. I thought he'd see it. He never saw it and as the time passed on in that first period, days or weeks or months, when I was only concious part of the time, the only person I did see was Aaron. Constantly there. Constantly being supportive, waiting, encouraging me, letting me know that he wouldn't abandon me. That he'd care for me. That he'd take care of everything for me. That no one would touch me again except him. He'd give me morphine all the time, for pain, till I was addicted to the stuff and to his visits. I forgot Nick, I forgot everything, only that there was one person there who seemed to want to get me out of the chains.

The only good thing I could say about that time, when I almost fell for it, was that he never could touch me. He tried. My body resisted him, even if I wanted to believe him, resisted so strongly to his sexual touches that every time he tried or got on top of me I'd start to change and the wolf would try and rip him apart. It still knew what Nick was to me. To us, the wolf and myself, even it was new since I'd last seen him.

Back then it had been like that though. Two separate identities. Myself and the wolf. I fought against it and it fought back, a mental battle, and I refused to believe that I really was turning into a wolf several times a day, trying to fight with this, until the girl across from me fought so hard that she lost her mind. I remembered lying there week after week seeing this teenager who, between the fevers and anger and agony, screaming at them that this wasn't real. That she was in the Matrix.

When I felt myself starting to believe her it scared me enough to stop fighting with what was happening. I tried to be rational and test it. Maybe it helped that I'd grown up believing in things most people laughed at but I started to believe in it instead of the Matrix. Started to accept what was going on in my body. All my focus went internal, instead of external, watching and understanding how it worked. When it was going to happen. I even made myself watch the order it happened in, observing the horrifying sight of my own body contorting like that, watched it so much that I eventually numbed to what I was seeing.

Then one day I realised that the wolf, whatever it was, was instinct. Like someone had forced that instinct I used to like to become its own living self. That it wasn't going anywhere and the more I fought against it the more it fought back. So I stopped fighting it and suddenly the pain halved, the fevers started to slow down, and I could see myself being able to control it.

Aaron had been delighted by that. He'd offered me meat and I accepted it. Or rather, I let the wolf accept it, because I still struggled with that. He'd given me fruit as well. Sat there, stroking my skin, feeding me. When I accepted everything he fed me, when it was clear I was getting control over the changes, when I seemed to accept his love and return it, he did something stupid.

He brought me a collar.

It was delicate, silver, with some kind of sparkly gem inside it. He'd clipped it around my neck, telling me that he'd let me be untied now, and that we could be together finally. That I was his pet and I was now allowed to call him Master.

That was the moment I realised that this whole time he'd been the one keeping me tied down, remembered the park, remembered that he had made something bad happen. I didn't know what, by that time I'd forgotten Nick and the alleyway was no longer a memory I had, but I knew deep down that he'd made something bad happen. Morphine didn't stop my mind from suddenly understanding what he'd been doing this whole time.

From that moment on, it was no longer 'the wolf' and 'Elizabeth'. It was 'the wolf and Anne'. After Anne Boleyn, who I'd studied as a teenager, to remind myself what happened when men used women in their power games.

He'd untied me as I realised this. Bent me over, as if he wanted to fuck me like a dog, ripping clothing out of his way, no more nice words or sweet touches, just the impatience he'd had while he pretended. Like how he'd been on the boat, so many months later, he didn't care much any more about pretending to be gentle or kind. He wasn't.

I'd twisted around and broken his jaw, using every last strength I had with this new part of me, chasing him out of the cage and the doctor with him, till they had to back off. Then I tore the collar off and destroyed it. Made sure nothing in it could be salvaged at all. This was the point I'd realised i wasn't going to be saved. I couldn't hope on anyone but myself.

The whipping started then and the withdrawals from morphine. That was also the point I started to wait and look for a chance to escape. Every day I had to wait was, I kept telling myself, another day I could use to train myself to control this and understand it.

These memories didn't come like the first ones had. They only lasted for a few hours, I'd wake in the middle of the night now, always in the grip of whatever had been happening when the memory cut off, like it'd just been seconds before. So morphine withdrawals had me vomiting in the toilet, shaking, as if I was doing it again, and it took some hours for my body to remember that it didn't have any need for it.

Or I'd wake screaming in pain, reaching for my back, only to find the scars healed, the memory acting in my mind as if it'd been just a second before. Jeremy had explained it as my mind's way of dealing with it. When I'd needed to escape, I'd bottled it up for later, and now it _was_ later. All I could do was go through it. I'd tried to lock Nick out for the first few months of this, only to wake with the bedroom window smashed and Nick back in bed, apparently having climbed up to the second floor and plonked himself back down in bed. I had no choice but to leave him there.

Every time I woke, be it in bed or in the cage after it got too much and my body started to change, Nick was there. Always there, sitting up, hand on my arm or leg as he waited for me to come back to the real world again.

He'd stay quiet while I told him what I'd remembered, not say a word, wait till whatever I had to physically experience, such as the withdrawals, finished, and then help me get to sleep. I knew he was exhausted by it and forcing himself to be there during it all, always trying to wake up when he sensed something was wrong again, almost blaming himself for it. At first, particularly when I had to relive the times I'd been waiting for him, I couldn't comfort him. I don't think he would have let me try.

But then as it went on, months and months of it, I started to recover, and I started to make him see that it was okay now. It was forcing both of us to heal and let go that part of our lives, the regrets there, the anger. We did need help during that time with the babies, both of us exhausted physically and emotionally, and there was always help.

Our stress did not get better when the alpha's father came back into the picture and got actually angry when he found out I wasn't pregnant. He accused me of having an abortion, threatened to sue or worse, Jeremy having to get Lucas to contact his father to get this sorcerer to leave. That scared the crap out of me, sitting in the basement with the triplets while the old man lost his temper above, demanding to see me and when Jeremy asked him to leave the old man lost his temper. Clayton had a binding spell on him to stop him attacking, the old man showing that whatever his sons had been, he wasn't, and the house actually got fairly damaged before the Cabal showed up. We never found out whether they got him or not, we never found out, just that they'd take care of it and thanking us for 'our quick thinking'. We never saw him again after that.

But it did finally push my mind into the last part of memories. It'd been while I was downstairs, trying to keep the triplets safe, that I'd fallen into the last memory. The one I'd dreaded and looked forward to. And as I felt this one coming, I knew, and forced the baby into Nick's arms and locked myself in the cage. Told him to leave me there.

This one, I didn't know what I'd wake up trying to do. What I'd be like.

The guard on duty that night wanted me. Well, truthfully, he wanted any of us. Tell a man to leave the half naked girls in chains alone and what did he want? He wanted one. This made it easy for me, who had spent months pretending to be quiet and polite, because they'd had the assumption that as long as the alpha wasn't around, I was a good girl. Nice girl. I even prayed on my knees, hands folded... though truthfully that only _started_ as an act. After a while I started to lie there on the mat on the ground, staring at the spiders, and I started to really do it when no one noticed. Just a quiet conversation with someone. I didn't know who I was talking to, exactly, just that I needed to do it.

The last lot of guards had vanished when the alpha had found out what they'd been doing with his women at night. So naturally, this one was wary, even afraid, but it didn't take much to work him up. Some 'accidental' glimpses of skin, a blush, a soft sigh about how I wished I could just wash and use a soft fluffy towel, and all the time in the world to work him up. The guards had their own showers. We had hand basins and if we wanted to wash it was a public affair. There'd usually be an audience if we were caught trying.

So when he started to catch me and didn't call for the other guards, when he started to return smiles as I tried to wash and mouthed 'thank you' at him while he kept watch, I knew I had him. Knew he was ready when he came to warn me when the alpha was coming to visit, something that had been forbidden, so I had time to prepare or dress or get ready to defend myself. Maybe he was really a nice guy. I couldn't think about that, if I did, it'd break my heart to think about what I'd have to do to him. It still did.

I offered to let him have anything he liked, once I'd showered and didn't smell, as long as he was gentle, if he let me shower after and let me use a towel. He offered a hot meal too. A hot vegetarian meal. But not yet. And I knew it killed him to see me whipped, that one last time, I saw how his hand clenched on the gun as if he was tempted to use it on the alpha, saw how he'd cared for me. Looked at me with the same expression Nick would look at me with. With love. The man had fallen in love with me. But he still stood there and watched the alpha whip me till my back was bloody and raw and the muscles torn open, didn't say a word, and walked away without a glance back.

A day after that a blizzard came and knocked out the power. He showed up, said that the showers had their own hot water, he had a torch, and we could do it quietly in the dark, no one would ever notice. He seemed to forget that I was injured. Or maybe he thought this was his only chance? All the security cameras and the computers were dead so it was safe. It was while he was getting undressed to join me in the shower that I'd slipped up behind him, pretending to stroke his skin, and when he relaxed I broke his neck. Simple, quick, heartless kill, without even asking him what his name was. Then I changed and slipped from the guard's bathroom.

They were watching the cages, not their backs, they didn't know I'd been taken into the showers. I killed the sleeping guards first, and the doctors, as fast and as quietly as I could, taking no enjoyment in it, just trusting my wolf instincts that if I left even one alive I'd regret it. Leave one enemy there to hunt me down and I'd have less distance between me and them when they realised I wasn't there. I ignored the terror in their faces as they woke, the pleading, ignored the humans and gave into the wolf side of me that did what it had to in order to survive and escape this prison.

Anything moving outside the cages was destroyed, hunted down, as the night went on and the humans realised that they were missing. It might have been the perfect horror film, one lone werewolf in the darkness of the building, the power out, a blizzard outside trapping them all in, no one able to see me but I was perfectly able to see them with their torches, hear their breathing, smell their panic as they slipped in the blood of someone they knew, or fell over another body. One by one I trapped and got rid of them quickly.

Then when I changed back and found some clothing, my back bleeding from the night's exhausting activity, and I searched the cage. Vi refused to leave. The only person left who could walk, who I could get to, was Pav. She was sick and she was going to die, I could see it, some part of my hardness slipping as I heard Vi plea for her to be taken, for me to save her life. Vi couldn't move. Someone had broken her ankle and she wouldn't be walking for some time.

So I helped Pav dress, helped her stand, and the two of us robbed and took whatever we could off the cooling corpses, finding clothing to wear that was warm enough for the cold, hurrying as fast as we could. Then we escaped and slipped away in the freezing cold.

Heading to New York hadn't been a matter of choice, at least not consciously, but instead heading out of the blizzard. We stole one of their cars and drove, listening to the radio, and it was a miracle we didn't crash. I was being very cautious and refused to speed till the snow cleared and when I did speed, we skidded, we slid, the ice adding to the speed, this part of our trip that I'd forgotten later on. I only started to remember things as we got into the warmer landscapes, as we ditched that car in a river and hired a car, Pav getting sicker beside me.

Then I drove towards the rising sun. I ran. I found a place for Pav to sleep, always, but I never slept. Couldn't sleep. My anxiety was at an all time high and it was fuel to keep moving. I knew what would be searching for me by now. Even as I forgot it, bits of my time in there fading, I still knew that if I was caught it'd be the last time. I'd never escape again. So I headed for New York the second I saw it was an option and put Pav just beside the hotel that I'd first stayed at with Nick. We'd waited there for a few days, though I didn't understand why we waited, before I had to lead the tracker-wolf away. Some new one. I led him through the city, through central square, through Barneys even and they weren't impressed by me, security calling the police, I led him through the park again and the police showed again, threading through streets until finally I made it through Times Square and followed a route I didn't know. A route my feet traced as my mind assumed I was just going in circles.

To Nick's apartment. Just as he came home, as his car lit me up, and I knew the sound of that engine. I hadn't known it at the time, of course, but deep down... if I hadn't known the car, I would have took off again. I had been seen and if it'd been by the wrong person, I would have run for my life. The wolf in me wouldn't have accepted any person besides the one in the car.

But it hadn't been by the wrong person. It'd been by who I had been looking for, my mate, the one I'd searched New York for. And I'd gone into an enclosed space, something I'd never have done otherwise, to find him.

My instinct didn't allow me to remember him, maybe because if I had, I might have rejected him. Left. Been too hurt by his choice in the bar to allow him to offer help. But they did allow me to get in a car with the two men, to let them take me to a strange place with other strange werewolves, allowed me to trust my injured pack-sister to them.

I woke once, when I was lying in Nick's apartment, just for a few minutes, the sedative fading as it gave way to real relief and exhaustion. Pav was in the kitchen with Antonio and someone lay behind me, his arm stretched across me, chin on my shoulder as he watched me sleep. I only opened my eyes a fraction to see the hand on top of mine, grasping it, saw Antonio's legs come in through the door in the mirror, and yank Nick off me. Tell him to stay back for a while if I didn't remember him. He was afraid I'd run if I got spooked. I slipped back to sleep, watching the two of them leave, feeling Pav slide in beside me.

My memories took me home to Stonehaven in Antonio's car. And as we passed through the gates, I felt myself leave the memories, drift into something warm and peaceful, a real sleep and peace coming over me. According to Nick I taken a week to get through this one, changing and sleeping, growling, attacking everything that was inside, till Jeremy had to sedate Nick and force him to stay upstairs, taking out the blood lust on everything that moved. Only when I calmed down and slept properly did Jeremy let Nick take me back upstairs.

Then one year on exactly from the day I'd found Nick's apartment again I woke to early morning sunlight, a cool room, Nick passed out beside me with his arm across my back like he'd had on the morning I'd found him, the babies having slept right through the night beside in their crib, the sound of laughter downstairs from the kids as they got ready for one of their last days at school.

It wasn't going to take over any more. This time, Nick had been there through every minute of it, been there when I'd needed him. And, maybe the most important thing, I realised I no longer hurt about how he'd left me behind, because this time he'd been there with me. Every time I woke, there he was, waiting to hear what it'd been, as if he had been there in that cell beside me, waiting quietly.

For the first time in months, I climbed on top of him and touched him, waking him with kisses, finally able to let him be intimate with me again.

"Morning." He yawned, kissing back, stretching. "Did we sleep through?"

"It's over." I told him, nuzzling against his neck, seeing a few claw marks across one arm. "Did you try and go into the cage?"

"Almost made it. Clayton agreed with you when you tried to kill me."

"I warned you." I kissed the scars. Maybe I should have felt bad about that but I knew how that memory would affect me if morphine withdrawals had me vomiting, or the whipping had me in agony, I knew that I'd have to play it out somewhat. "Sorry."

"Welcome home." He shrugged and leaned up on his elbows, the two of us sitting there, before Nick finally snapped out of his sleepiness and pinned me onto my back with a playful growl.

Thankfully the babies stayed content for the few minutes it took to rip stuff out of the way, roll around, growling and biting each other, before found each other again properly. And when we were done, we rested back with the babies, finally behaving like adults and discussing what to do.

Nick would have to go back to work. Three days there, two or three days working here, and I told him I wanted to start to study again part time, maybe while he was working. Surely if the two of us were focused on working we wouldn't paw each other? At least not between 'tea breaks'. We'd have to think about how to do that with the triplets but... one problem at a time. We told Jeremy later that day and he seemed to agree. In fact, he almost seemed relieved we'd discussed it finally, like he'd been waiting for us to stop messing around. Then he let us know that he'd been talking with Ana's father, the were-girl from South America, and had agreed to let her stay with us during high school. Us, meaning the pack, though I knew he probably wanted Ana to stay here at Forestwatch. American high schools accepted kids older than Australian ones though. That meant we mercifully could wait two years before we tackled the idea of hosting a teenage girl. Right when the toddlers were in their terrible twos. _Fantastic._ One thirteen year old, one eight year old and three two year olds. Nick may not have wanted kids but now he'd have to put up with it just a bit longer.

It actually amused me more than it scared me.

Two days before Christmas, I was suddenly having to get on a plane with Lucas and Elena to give evidence against the ex-alpha. His father still hadn't been seen since he lost his temper at Forestwatch. I'd been terrified to see him at the court case but no one seemed to know where he'd gone.

The Cabal made it like any other court case but it was really just to go through the motions. Lucas, who was the son of one of the big families, explained that the second they'd decided to get involved was the second he'd been seen as guilty. My story was for the records, to be a warning to others who thought it'd be a good idea, and they refused to heal Aaron's 'wound'. They read out a list of every woman he'd directly or indirectly killed by the country he'd been found in. Then he'd been thrown in their prison for the rest of his life, stripped of his magic, though how that'd happen I had no clue, and generally was told off.

The alpha slipped me a note as he was taken away, the lawyer giving it to me, before he was gone for the rest of his life into some prison I'd never visit or care to know about. I didn't know why I didn't rip it up then and there. But I didn't. As we drove back to the airport in the taxi, Elena on one side, Lucas on the other, I held it up for Elena to read too.

In it, Aaron me that, whatever his father had told me, I couldn't have been pregnant with his child. It was impossible- his mother had passed on a genetic weakness from her father's side of the family that would render Aaron and Jason infertile. When his father found out... well, there was a reason he'd never met his mother. It wasn't his child he was trying to get inside me. The video proved it.

A video? It took me a moment to understand what video he meant. The one online. The one we'd replaced with our own video, months before, of the alpha in the cabin getting 'snipped', so that if anyone tried to pay and download my rape video they'd receive that instead. Happy viewing for the mutts and for any other potential rapists who wanted to get off on the idea of a pack member getting raped.

And finally, after so long, when I got back to my laptop at home I made myself sit there and watch him rape me on the video I'd never been able to delete. He had injected something into me, a lot of something, just as he finished, holding it up for the camera to see, like he'd known back then that one day I'd see this. One day I'd know that he'd done something completely different, and it wasn't what I thought it was.

It wasn't supposed to be _Aaron's_ child. It suddenly made sense why his father, Demetruis_,_ had been so keen, just that once, to help bring me across. Why his father's security had tied me up when he supposedly ordered his son to offer me freedom. Who bound up someone who was being offered freedom? And why he'd been so angry when he'd decided that I'd gotten an abortion. It wasn't Aaron who wanted me pregnant.

Elena decided Lucas should know, Jeremy agreeing, because of his own father's involvement in the search for the old man. Apparently forcing a woman to become pregnant was also a crime, which wasn't a shock to me at all, but it didn't change the fact that he'd vanished for good. We didn't hear or see Demetruis again. Without a pregnancy there was no issue, far as I was concerned, and we had enough babies for the two of us.

Not until I found out what had happened a year before, exactly, and why the Cabal had really gotten involved. A year before, almost exactly a year, supernaturals had started an uprising spurned on by one of the Demons. They were intending on taking over the world. It sounded like another bad movie plot but apparently back then, even Elena's kids had been targeted. Jeremy hadn't approved Nick and Antonio coming onto the cruise because of me- I hadn't even been a factor in that. He'd ordered them to take the twins, Reece and Noah too, into Europe to keep them safe. Nick just managed to get them all on the cruise I was on.

He grinned as Jeremy told me that, looping an arm around me, ignoring my glare in his direction.

"It was going to be a surprise. Introduce you to them."

"Yeah, sure." I rolled my eyes. He was good at getting what he wanted, that was for sure.

Apparently though this wasn't over. They'd assumed that the alpha had been apart of it which, thankfully, he seemed to not be. But Jeremy wasn't sure about his father. All we could do was relax now and wait.

This was made easier as we reached a huge milestone. The triplet's first Christmas.

It started, as days always seemed to start, with my morning heart attack as I heard Nick call from a few feet away, "Catch!"

A baby was flung at me, I was sure I was going to have a heart attack as she sailed through the air at me, or at least an anxiety attack, and I nearly caught Lily, nearly, but she slid down...

Arms came around me from behind to grab her. Antonio muttered something under his breath as he helped me get her back up again. If Lily knew she'd nearly been dropped she didn't care. She grinned at us with the same infectious smile her father and grandfather had, dark curly hair all over the place, blue eyes going from me to Antonio with obvious excitement. Oh yes. She'd enjoyed that. There were some serious problems with being mum to three toddlers who had Nick's sense of humour. Some serious, serious problems. And I'd heard Antonio used to be as bad as Nick. Apparently he'd even had a motorbike at some point.

I clung to her, glaring at Nick, who took one look at me and vanished back down into the nursery to get Dominic. Matt appeared, carefully holding onto Susie, who wriggled impatiently in the kid's arms. His strength meant it was easier for him but it was still amusing to see him try- she was getting wrigglier by the day. She glanced at Antonio and held her arms out, blue eyes fixed on him, till Matt lifted her up so Antonio could hold her.

Seven in the morning and Nick and Matt had done wonderful jobs already waking them up. Nick reappeared with Dominic under one arm, hair a dark redder brown and paler than his sisters, a fist in his mouth as he blinked his brown eyes at the disturbances around him like he couldn't quite get it, wearing a reindeer outfit. Very cute. The girls got a kangaroo suit and a koala suit. Nick's idea ...but, at least for this one, I'd agreed. They were _adorable_.

Phew. All babies accounted for. I smiled at Matt and he yawned, smiling back somewhat, before racing up the stairs to get his overnight bag and his presents for Logan and Kate. We'd have to spend the night at Stonehaven.

"My car's already packed with the bags and various things in the hallway." Antonio let me know as he adjusted his hold on Susie who had gripped his hair and was chewing on it. "Anything else?"

"A good morning kiss." Nick called from behind me, trying to kiss me as hands found my hair, toddler's hands, not helping his attempts. He kept trying, ducking around Dominic and Lily's attempts to grab at us, like the two were attempting to swap places, the two of us backing up, till we finally found a wall. He grinned and kissed me, helping juggle the two of them around, Dominic ending up in my arms and Lily in his, our lips not leaving each other as we managed the feat. Somehow we did it without dropping them though I suspected that Antonio's sudden close scent meant that we hadn't been alone in it.

"No more puppies. Back up." I told him, brushing my lips against Dominic's soft hair as he settled into my neck and shut his eyes. Nick laughed as I accepted Susie from Antonio as well, calling Matt down, the seven of us circling around the car trying to get babies in place between the packed car, Matt going with Antonio in his own car full with objects we'd needed.

Stonehaven was done now, a dusting of fine snow already melting in the sunlight, the sparkle of lights coming from the living room. It looked exactly as it had before it'd burnt down... well, except for the second floor having stones a touch lighter than they had before and the additional 'wing' that seemed to have sprouted off one side. I'd agreed to work on the garden in spring when everything unfroze again.

As I slid out of the car, my eyes went up the building in the direction of the room I'd stood in a year ago. It was again the guest room, though Jeremy had set it up for the five of us, and I remembered how a year ago I'd stood there still stunned, watching strangers arrive, my entire body on 'fight mode' from the escape. Or was it because Nick kept sneaking into my bed?

It was probably also a year since he'd conceived the triplets, now that I thought about it, something that amused me a lot. They had been early so it almost made sense. I'd have to be careful tonight if he tried an anniversary repeat of it.

Elena came out and captured me in her arms, followed by Clayton who stood close but smiled warmly as he moved beside me to help bring in babies. Hard to believe that he was the same man who stood by and filmed me cut off a man's penis, as I watched him gently lift up the sleeping Dominic, all tenderness that he seemed to have for kids. Maybe it was the wolf in him- protect the young. Or maybe he was getting clucky again, because when he slipped Dominic into her arms, there was an odd look in his face when Elena's eyes fell onto the sleeping boy.

I tried to not laugh and helped bring in stuff from the car. The babies were in good hands. We had presents to get under the tree before Logan, Kate and Matt got to them, which involved a lot of hurrying and 'Not yet!' from Jeremy who was guarding the tree and the presents as the kids sat there and jiggled up and down impatiently. Food in the fridges and freezers. Portable cot set up in the study so that the babies were within hearing distance but not kept awake by squealing kids. A nudge to Nick as he tried to settle down in order to get him to go outside and check that we'd gotten it all.

Presents for the three kids happened the second all adults sat down, the three babies passed around as we watched the kids tear into their prey with all the fury of three wolf cubs, delighted as they pulled this or that out, or gnawed on giant candy canes, ignoring the camera flashes. They showed us, from time to time, but it was really their own little world under the tree, ignoring Elena as she moved around them to get paper and cardboard out of the way. I stood up to help her- there was a _lot_.

Today I was going to cook again. I didn't think I had a choice in the matter. There were two kitchens though and because I was cooking this excused me from triplet duty. Sort of. I couldn't go twenty minutes without slipping into the living room or study to check on them. There was always at least one person with one at any time.

With two kitchens now, cooking was easy, so easy that I just had to sit around between running backwards and forwards, reading the pamphlets about short courses I could do from home, it was almost luxurious, all this spare time. I had no clue what to do with it all. Reece and Daniella helped me, the three of us working to get enough food for everyone, the entire pack, Savannah, Lucas, Paige, Jamie, even Hope with her toddler had returned with Karl. I still couldn't figure out if the two of them were a couple or if he was just possessive over her... but then, maybe for a werewolf, possessiveness and being a couple was counted as the same thing. They didn't behave the way Nick and I did. Actually, I realised as I settled beside Nick at the table, no one did. Nick and I were probably sickening to the rest of them, neither of us could stop touching the other for too long, he'd kept sneaking into the kitchen for a bite and a kiss. Elena and Clayton seemed to hold it back. Maybe we should too.

Everyone sat around at dinner, passing plates around, the kids sitting at a table nearby, laughing and joking with each other, forks flashing in the dim light as food was stolen and shared and made to vanish, glasses glinting in the light, table groaning under the weight of food and stuff, until the table cleared and it was the adults who were groaning, collapsed all over each other, the kids racing around with Hope's toddler, the babies being taken away as it got too noisy and they started to get too tired, the kids taking toys upstairs so they could play as loudly as they wanted, at one point the Christmas tree was knocked over, but no one really could be bothered to get up and calm it down. Babies were asleep in a quiet room, Hope's toddler went to join them not long after, and the kids would wear themselves out. I missed Pav and Vi, both of them in Russia again now, but they had decided on their home. They'd come next Christmas.

I tried to act like the other couples, not touching Nick, not kissing him, tried to keep away. It only had him pick me up after two hours, drag me upstairs into the guest room, and make passionate love to me … and break the brand new bed in the process.

Yep. Ignoring Nick wasn't going to work like it might with Clayton or Karl.

We passed out presents when the kids were carried to bed, simple little gifts that were nothing compared to the huge amount that the kids got, mostly food. You could never go wrong with a werewolf and food.

I sat there at the end of the day on the ground, Jeremy looking exhausted as he collapsed beside me against Jamie's legs, Nick was passed out in my lap, my hand stroking the dark curls on his head. The hot fire had cooled now, the lights on the now upright tree turned on, and we watched it sparkle in the darkness of the room as the candles got lower on the table nearby. Other adult bodies were sprawled around in similar ways, exhausted, stuffed with food, and content.

I looked to Jeremy as he sat there and spoke to him softly, shifting closer. "Sometimes I wonder if he was right. Aaron."

"About what?" Jeremy didn't growl or raise his voice like Nick would have. He just turned his tired face to mine, the shadow of the smiles he'd had all day still there, reaching up to take Jamie's hand and stroke it with his fingers.

"That maybe we do need to adapt. Change. That the world's changing and that we can't keep living like we are." I didn't like guns much but if he was right, why deny that as a long range weapon, they were useful?

"Maybe he was right about that. But look at the pack. What's it like?" Jeremy's dark eyes moved across Stonehaven's living room.

"The pack looks like-" I paused and looked around. Elena's snort as she shoved Clayton's hand down her top from where it'd been sneaking up. "Clayton harassing Elena again." Something paper flew at me from Clayton, a lazy throw, he couldn't even be bothered lifting his head.

A slight snore beside me. "Nick where he passed out on me. Three babies and a toddler asleep for about thirty minutes more, till we start to move again, and three kids upstairs passed out in a mountain of toys and candy. Everyone's passed out."

"Thanks to our cooking." Reece called, legs across Daniella's lap, his stomach bulging.

My eyes traced over the rest of them. Karl near Hope, not quite touching, but I sensed his attention was on her like it had been all day. She was asleep on the other end of a couch, a pillow under her head, dark hair brushed back from her face. Paige and Lucas reading something in the kitchen in the light. Savannah had vanished with a man I didn't know well, Adam or something, vanished upstairs for one of the other guest rooms maybe. Antonio had vanished into the study when he'd heard a baby's soft cry a few minutes before, telling us to sit back down. Other bodies, maybe Noah was that one, resting around the fireplace. No one seemed able to move.

Jeremy nodded, smiling, as his eyes watched each of the things I had, a softness in his eyes. "So what does the pack look like?"

"Exhausted, I mean, happy." I wondered if I'd have to go help Antonio soon. Probably.

"You know what the pack looked like when it was together and I was Reece's age?" When I shook his head, he leaned back, watching the pack a little longer. "Grown male werewolves, forbidden from relationships, stealing their sons from women they'd slept with. Boys here competing for who was stronger, faster, picking on each other all the time. The strength of a baby measured by how loud it cried at birth. Mutts coming to challenge the houses all the time and mutt hunts run by the packs to kill whoever they found." A small smile.

He went quiet for a while as Jamie slid down to sit beside him on his other side, an arm going across hers. "The alpha couldn't have a girlfriend." Jeremy added, stroking Jamie's face with his fingertips, leaning over to kiss her in a rare show of public affection. "We had our own kind of happiness then, a strength that worked, and I thought that when I became alpha I had to keep it that way. I even tried to get rid of Elena when Clayton proposed to her." He said, slowly, thoughtfully. "But we have changed. We _have_ adapted. Not just us, the Russians and the Australians too, relationships are allowed now, we talk to the rest of the supernatural world, and the first daughters of werewolves live beside their brothers. Aaron was right about survival of a species. That a species has to adapt to a changing world. The old way of the pack, if we'd stayed there, would have torn itself apart."

"Elena might have saved the pack by surviving. Forced us to change. Forced us to look at the world in a different way."

Elena's cheeks flashed a little at his compliment. "No... Clayton did. I just had to deal with it."

"Ain't you glad too." He muttered from beside her. The more tired he got, the thicker the accent was, and I could barely understand him.

"But he wasn't right about using guns." I muttered. Guns were stupid. Americans had always freaked me out with their obsession with a gun, long before I'd ever come here, I used to be afraid of going to some places in America because anyone could be carrying one. "Aaron was wrong."

"Most Americans know how to shoot one, at least, everyone here does. That reminds me, you need to learn how to use one." Jeremy smiled when I shuddered at the idea. "It's not that bad."

Jamie yawned and shut her eyes as we heard the second cry of a different baby, Lily, start up. Antonio called that he had it. "How many more children is this pack going to have?"

"I hope it slows down a little." Jeremy shifted so she could lean easier against him.

"I don't plan on having any more." I muttered. "Nick knows exactly what I'll do."

"What's that?" Jamie asked, turning to me, yawning a huge yawn again.

"Find a billionaire husband and hire supernatural nannies."

She laughed too, shaking her head, Jamie's eyes going past me to where I'd left Nick passed out. I felt Nick slide up slowly, shifting so he could slide behind me between the couch and my back, arms and legs capturing me there. "Not going anywhere." He growled, biting my neck, over and over, gentle, pulling my hair out of his way. "I'll become your billionaire."

"Not with triplets." I reminded him and pried his arms off me as I heard Susie join in. Any second now Dominic would wake up, and maybe Hope's toddler too..."I'll go hel-"

"No you don't." Clayton called, standing up, looking a bit groggy. "You cooked." He stretched and Nick tugged me back down. Clayton came over, careful to not step on anyone's presents, fingers, toes or limbs, and dragged Nick up to his feet with an easy yank. "So Nick goes. I'll get the coffee on in the kitchen."

"Hey!"

"Don't wake the other ones. Sh." Clayton herded him out of the room and into the study.

I felt Reece's arm sneak around me once Nick was gone, Daniella shaking her head at him, but there was no jealousy there now between us. Not between any of us. Somehow we'd settled down, roles juggled around, and the pack had adopted the two of us easily. I yawned and shut my eyes, shifting back onto the couch as Reece moved up to let me in, turning around so his head was in Daniella's lap, legs across mine. My pack. I could sense something was building out there, something big, but whatever it was we weren't weakened now. Mutts had stopped crossing over the New York borders again, downloads of the desexing of the alpha had peaked and then suddenly stopped, and things were apparently back to normal.

Whatever was building up out there, whoever was involved, we were more than ready for it.

* * *

><p>Thankyou to everyone who read andor reviewed! :) Of course there'll be more... but this part is over!

Keep an eye out. I might not be able to stop and have to keep going. Bwahaaa.


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